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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,495 Uh, pardon me. 2 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,463 Am I correct in assuming the object of the game 3 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,432 is to match the card in your hand? 4 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:32,766 That's right. 5 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,303 Well, in that case, I suggest, taking into consideration 6 00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:37,571 the laws of probability, you'd be better off 7 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,907 discarding that one, instead of that one, 8 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,709 and drawing to this sequence. 9 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,245 Oh? 10 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:45,413 Play something, will you? 11 00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:46,880 You say I should throw this one away? 12 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:47,781 Yes. 13 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:48,682 Throw something away. 14 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,684 All right. 15 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:51,852 Oh, beautiful. 16 00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,254 You better stick to guided missiles. 17 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,822 How long have you had that card? 18 00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:57,091 Wow. 19 00:00:57,191 --> 00:01:00,394 There you are, sweetheart. 20 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:01,229 Gin! 21 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:11,372 Maybe I'd better not wait around any longer for Terri. 22 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,307 Maybe I'd better come back later? 23 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,976 Look, son, you don't have to go on my account, 24 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,611 but that is a good idea. 25 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:18,946 You come back later. 26 00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:20,748 Maybe in a month or so, I'm sure she'll be back by then. 27 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,852 I mean, it's not that I don't like you or anything, 28 00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:25,886 but there's no sense in your wasting 29 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:26,920 a whole day waiting for Terri. 30 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,922 Oh, that's all right. 31 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,191 Are you going, Donald? 32 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,492 Yeah, it seems that way. 33 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,126 Yes. 34 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:33,561 Yes, he's going. 35 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:35,296 Oh, would you tell Terri my father's 36 00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:36,564 letting me use the car tonight? 37 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,199 And if she'd like to go birdwatching, 38 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:41,569 I'll pick her up at 10 o'clock. 39 00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:42,836 10 o'clock? 40 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:43,871 Yes, sir. 41 00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:45,939 You go birdwatching at night? 42 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:47,275 Yes, sir. 43 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,942 We're looking for the crested whippoorwill. 44 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,444 You see, it's a nocturnal flyer. 45 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,513 The last time Terri and I watched for one, 46 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,448 he didn't come out till almost midnight. 47 00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:01,155 Are you telling me you had my daughter 48 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,090 out till almost midnight? 49 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:04,124 Yes, sir. 50 00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,626 I belong to the Audubon Society. 51 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,361 The who society? 52 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:12,900 Young man, just what are your intentions toward my sister? 53 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,134 What kind of a question is that? 54 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,669 Now, go to your room. 55 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:18,172 Sometimes, I wonder where the older generation is going? 56 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,841 Never mind! 57 00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,410 I'm sorry, Donald. 58 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:27,915 Rusty had no right to ask a question like that, but I have! 59 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,651 What do you mean you had her out till past midnight? 60 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:35,022 You listen to me, you misguided guided missile jockey! 61 00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,291 What are your intentions toward my daughter? 62 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,092 Garsh, Mr. Williams, my intentions 63 00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:41,695 are just to take her birdwatching! 64 00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,764 Oh, Danny, really, a whole group of them 65 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:47,601 went, and I gave Terri permission to go. 66 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:48,769 Oh, a whole group? 67 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,239 Oh, wow. 68 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:52,506 In that case, I'm sorry, son. 69 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:55,008 I just lost my head for a minute there. 70 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,143 You're a fine boy, Donald. 71 00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:58,746 I like you very much and I-- but I 72 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,381 don't think you oughta spend all your time 73 00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:01,949 birdwatching with my daughter. 74 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,951 I mean, especially getting out in that night air, you know, 75 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,886 and catching a cold, and getting your head all stopped up, 76 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,989 you won't be able to figure out those mathematical problems. 77 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,258 Now you go on home, boy, and study. 78 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,559 You've got a great future ahead of you. 79 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,093 You'll be a great scientist someday, 80 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,762 and the country can use men like you. 81 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:15,729 I can't. 82 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:16,597 Goodbye. 83 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,435 Really, Danny, that wasn't very nice. 84 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,004 Where does it say you have to be nice to the enemy? 85 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:24,905 Ronald? 86 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:26,240 The enemy? 87 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,141 Any male who's chasing my daughter is an enemy. 88 00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:29,677 Oh, come on now. 89 00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:32,446 I was reading a book just the other day, the-- "The 90 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,114 Dangers of Adolescence." 91 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:38,151 And there was a whole chapter in there about a girl Terri's age 92 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,320 who eloped. 93 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,521 That explains it. 94 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,290 You've been reading again! 95 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,157 I'm just going to have to take that library card away 96 00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:44,992 from you. 97 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,330 What are you making with the jokes? 98 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:50,731 Why are you taking it so lightly? 99 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,366 Oh, honey, don't you think you're reaching a bit? 100 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,735 After all, Terri's a pretty level headed girl. 101 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,970 Well, level headed or no, after reading that book, 102 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,172 I'd rather be safe than sorry. 103 00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:01,141 I don't want her spending her time 104 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,476 with Donald or any other guy. 105 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,378 Well, not too much, anyway. 106 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:08,582 Like a big pizza, that's amore. 107 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:09,216 Hello, baby. 108 00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:10,083 Hello, Daddy. 109 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,352 Hi, Kathy. 110 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:13,821 Oh, Terri, Donald was just here. 111 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:14,655 Who? 112 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:15,556 Donald Cooper. 113 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,190 Oh, Donald. 114 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,159 Eh. 115 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,461 That's my girl. 116 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:21,595 Terri, wait a minute. 117 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,296 Come back here. 118 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,230 What's wrong with you? 119 00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:25,132 Donald is a lovely boy. 120 00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:26,233 That's just it. 121 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,435 He's a boy. 122 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:28,902 He's too immature. 123 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,904 Hey, you know, you're right. 124 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:34,808 She-- she has got a level head. 125 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,043 After all, let's face it. 126 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,278 He's no Dean Martin. 127 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,747 Dean Martin? 128 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:42,750 How did Dean Martin get into this conversation. 129 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:46,286 Oh, Daddy, the day you brought me home that autographed album, 130 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:49,222 well, you started a whole new life for me. 131 00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,992 Oh now, Sweetheart, don't tell me you've 132 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,794 got a crush on Dean Martin. 133 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:54,762 Well, why not? 134 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:56,196 I could have a crush on him myself. 135 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,565 He's pretty cute. 136 00:04:57,665 --> 00:05:00,267 What? 137 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:01,502 Cute? 138 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,203 Is that all you can say about my Dino? 139 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,506 My Dino? 140 00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:08,776 Well, he's a dreamboat! 141 00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:14,648 I mean, he's so relaxed, so casual, so suave. 142 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:19,086 The way he stands, the careless way he wears his clothes, 143 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:22,656 the way he leaves his collar open. 144 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,224 That's so he can leave room for his napkin 145 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,325 when he eats his lasagna. 146 00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,599 Well, now, I'm certainly not gonna have a daughter of mine 147 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,300 go gaga over a crooner now. 148 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:36,003 Oh, I suppose you prefer someone like Donald? 149 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,037 What's the matter with Donald? 150 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,171 He's a fine boy. 151 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:39,306 But you know what his habits are-- 152 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:42,109 birdwatching and rocket ships! 153 00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,243 I don't care what his hobbies are. 154 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,112 He's closer to your age. 155 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,914 What difference does age make? 156 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:51,619 Look at Cleopatra and Caesar, Josephine and Napoleon, Murray 157 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,521 Sigler and Marion Shlain. 158 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,460 Murray Sigler and Marion Shlain? 159 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,662 Oh, Daddy, you know, Marion, the butcher's daughter. 160 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:05,833 Well, she's only 17, and she's engaged to Murray, who's 25. 161 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:08,802 I think a more mature man is good for a girl. 162 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,404 Well, in that case, why stop at Dean Martin? 163 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,040 Why not shoot for Charles Laughton? 164 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,374 Really, Father. 165 00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:15,375 Don't you give me that "really, Father" bit. 166 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:16,777 You come back here. 167 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,912 Now, you listen to me, young lady. 168 00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,582 I guess maybe I have been really a bother to her. 169 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:22,683 I don't know what's going on here. 170 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,317 Oh, heaven's sake, Danny, what's 171 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:27,354 wrong with her having a crush on an attractive entertainer? 172 00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:28,656 What's wrong with her? 173 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,891 Do you mean that you want our daughter 174 00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:33,594 to be one of those swooning, squealing bobby-socksers? 175 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,529 Well, she certainly isn't that. 176 00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,230 If she were, she'd be down with the rest 177 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,599 of those bobby-socksers at the theater, 178 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,167 where Dean Martin's playing. 179 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,169 Where do you think I've been for the last two days? 180 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:52,880 His eyes, they're half brown. 181 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:55,849 His eyes are half brown? 182 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,151 You know, he never opens them all the way. 183 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:05,459 I was sitting in the front row, and he looked right at me. 184 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,661 Those eyes. 185 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,062 Oh! 186 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,032 Like magic. 187 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,701 Magic! 188 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:14,535 Magic. 189 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:20,373 Oh, you're so right. 190 00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,075 She's got a level head. 191 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:25,378 Something fell on it! 192 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:26,580 Flattened out the whole thing! 193 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,752 Donald, show me now. 194 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,386 Be like Dean Martin, nice and casual and relaxed. 195 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:34,221 Go ahead. 196 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,596 Donald, that's your idea of being casual and relaxed? 197 00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,765 Look, you want Terri to like you, don't you? 198 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:45,699 Yes, sir. 199 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:46,600 Now, if wanna be like Dean Martin, 200 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:47,635 you gotta pay attention. 201 00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,202 You gotta be suave. 202 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,538 Me? 203 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,873 Garsh, Mr. Williams, I could never be suave. 204 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,074 Don't worry, kid. 205 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:57,911 With my help, you'll be the biggest suave in town. 206 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:58,979 All right. 207 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,948 First, let's take the glasses off, huh? 208 00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:01,649 Take the glass off. 209 00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:02,883 Put 'em in your pocket. 210 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,151 You can see without 'em OK, can't you? 211 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,586 All right, now-- now, look it. 212 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:06,620 You're too wide awake. 213 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,821 Close your eyes a little bit. 214 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,590 Make like you just got up, you know? 215 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,960 Droop 'em a little bit. 216 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:16,129 Oh, that's pretty good. 217 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,397 Now, relax. 218 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,266 Loosen your collar, will you, please? 219 00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:20,200 Here, Donald. 220 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,168 Fine, now. That's it. 221 00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:22,202 Like that. 222 00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:23,203 Now, just-- just-- just relax. 223 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,437 That's it. Relax. 224 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:25,372 There we are. 225 00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:26,406 OK, now. 226 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,208 There. 227 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:29,943 What's the matter with Donald? 228 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:30,778 Is he sick? 229 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,382 He's not sick. 230 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,317 I'm-- I'm trying to show him how to be relaxed and casual. 231 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,218 He's getting it too. 232 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:39,252 You're all right, boy. 233 00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:45,125 Relaxed? 234 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,159 He's disintegrated. 235 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,561 All right, just never mind now. 236 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:48,996 He's getting it fine. 237 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,030 Now, just loose-like. 238 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:50,964 Show me. 239 00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,065 Show me how you'd ask for a date. 240 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:52,700 Go ahead. 241 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,367 Oh, Danny, really? 242 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,137 Clancy, will you butt out? 243 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,706 Now come on. 244 00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:01,208 Make believe I'm Terri, and you ask me to go out with you. 245 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:02,342 Go ahead. 246 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,744 Could you possibly go ice skating 247 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:06,980 with me tomorrow, Mr. Williams? 248 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,515 No, no! 249 00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,317 Well, you don't have to, if you don't want to. 250 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,656 I mean, no, you're supposed to ask Terri. 251 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,457 Don't ask me. 252 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,159 Donald, you gotta be modern. 253 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,293 You gotta be jivey. 254 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,261 You gotta be slick. Now, watch. 255 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,095 Watch this. 256 00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:35,643 Hey, babe. 257 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,678 How about you and me strapping on the blades 258 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,748 and cutting a couple of figure eights? 259 00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,215 Sounds great, gate. 260 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,417 Just wait and I'll get my skates, a rigga-digga-doo 261 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,653 and duddy-up-dupp. 262 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,957 All right, all right. 263 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:53,627 I'm only trying to help the kid, for heaven's sake. 264 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:56,029 When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, 265 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:56,864 that's amore. 266 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,169 Hello, Donald. 267 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,070 Where's your glasses? 268 00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:20,954 Hiya, babe. 269 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,890 How'd you like to strap on the blades 270 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:26,026 and cut a couple of figure eights? 271 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,195 Rigga-digga-doo and a vodie-o-doe? 272 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,566 Honestly, Donald, I knew you were a child, 273 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:37,671 but I didn't think you were a dopey child. 274 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:38,872 Put your glasses back on. 275 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,508 You look ridiculous without them. 276 00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:47,114 When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore. 277 00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,648 I goofed, huh? 278 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,622 Son, some men were born to be Casanovas, 279 00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:58,258 and others were born to be birdwatchers. 280 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,831 You are for the birds. 281 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:16,043 Well, let's-- let's just forget the whole thing, eh, non? 282 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:17,878 Well, it doesn't matter, really. 283 00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,980 Thanks for trying, Mr. Williams, but-- 284 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,314 Oh, that's all right, son. 285 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:24,517 Well, I guess I'd rather be myself, anyway. 286 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,519 Maybe I'm not the romantic type, but 287 00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,255 everybody can't be a crooner. 288 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,356 Yeah, you're so right. 289 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:30,758 You're so right. 290 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,292 And besides, you can't croon a rocket to the moon 291 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,361 or a satellite into its orbit. 292 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:38,665 And you see, I sort of feel that mathematics and science 293 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:41,701 are pretty romantic and exciting too. 294 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,470 So I guess I'll just have to find 295 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,273 a girl that feels like I do. 296 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,640 Donald. 297 00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:48,876 Yes, Mrs. Williams? 298 00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:50,610 Well, sometime, if you're not too busy, 299 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,080 I'd like to go birdwatching with you. 300 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:53,713 Yeah. 301 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,648 Yeah, me too, son. 302 00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:56,984 Any time you say. 303 00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:13,633 Terri, Terri? 304 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,368 Kathy? 305 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:16,203 Anybody home? 306 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,452 The coast is clear. 307 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,286 She's not home. 308 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:34,121 Good. 309 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,089 Can I get down off my toes now? 310 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,157 Sure, sure. 311 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,491 I was beginning to feel like a character 312 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,560 in a Hitchcock picture. 313 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:44,197 Gee, Dean, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your 314 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,799 helping me out of this mess. -It's all right, Danny. 315 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,200 It's all right. 316 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,869 But don't you think we're doing this the hard way? 317 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,137 Dean, how many times do I have to explain it to you? 318 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:51,872 I'm telling you, Terri's got a big crush 319 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,207 on you because you're so sophisticated, 320 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,943 so suave, so sloppy. 321 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,249 She doesn't like Donald 'cause he's a bookworm. 322 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:02,883 He's studious. 323 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,417 He's an egghead. 324 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,854 So we gotta make her believe that you're an egghead too. 325 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:07,988 Don't you understand? 326 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,823 I understand OK, Dr. Frankenstein. 327 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:12,325 Transform me. 328 00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:16,396 OK, Monster, the first thing, button up the collar 329 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:17,730 and tighten the tie, huh? 330 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:18,665 Button it up? 331 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:19,499 Yeah. 332 00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:20,367 This is necessary? 333 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,768 It's necessary. 334 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:25,873 Gonna be a big surprise to my neck. 335 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:26,974 Let's not make jokes, huh? 336 00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,541 I'm serious. -All right. 337 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,376 All right, now. 338 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,677 Here we go. 339 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:34,047 Now, look, yeah tighten that real good, huh? 340 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,583 Dean, what can we do about your eyes? 341 00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:39,686 Don't you have open them? 342 00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,321 I mean, make like you're wide awake, huh? 343 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:42,455 Just take it easy, Dan. 344 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,492 That's daylight out there. 345 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,627 My eyeballs aren't used to that. 346 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:48,628 Eyeballs, yeah, yeah. 347 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,197 That reminds me. Eyeballs. 348 00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,031 Here, here. 349 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,366 Gotta give you that square look. 350 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:54,868 There. 351 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:58,038 Let me see now. 352 00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:01,074 Hey, you look nice in 'em. 353 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,810 You're so relaxed all the time. 354 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:04,945 Haven't you got a spine? 355 00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,379 Stand up straight, will you, Dean? 356 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:10,283 And pull your shoulders back, chest out, stomach in. 357 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,519 Hold it, Sarge, they're drafting Elvis, not me! 358 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,059 Are you gonna cooperate or are you? 359 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,028 Oh, what I do for a friend of mine. 360 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:23,296 All right, if you're gonna do it, let's go all the way, huh? 361 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,932 -What are you gonna do now? -What am I gonna do? 362 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:25,933 The finishing touches. 363 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,300 I got this all planned, kid. 364 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,168 I'm no dummy. 365 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:29,402 Get up. 366 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,037 Come on. 367 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:31,071 Don't forget now. 368 00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:32,372 You're a member of the Audubon. 369 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,449 I'm back in the Hitchcock picture. 370 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,417 Hey, whatever you do, please, don't clown it. 371 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,118 Don't give it away. 372 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,219 Play it straight, right? 373 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,523 Hello, Dad. 374 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:51,558 Hello. 375 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:52,492 Oh, darling, where you doing? 376 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,726 Did you see who's here? 377 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,595 We have a visitor. 378 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,197 Dean Martin! 379 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,198 Uh-huh. 380 00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:01,301 But I-- I-- 381 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,170 Mr. Martin was just in the neighborhood, 382 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,038 and he thought he'd drop in and pay us a visit. 383 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,539 Isn't that right, Dino? 384 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:10,910 Yes, I was across the street in the park birdwatching. 385 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,512 Birdwatching? 386 00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:13,846 Why, certainly. 387 00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,249 This is the most exciting time of the year. 388 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:20,520 This is the homing season for-- for the red-throated bullfinch. 389 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:21,989 Didn't you know that, Terri? 390 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:22,990 What's the matter, dear? 391 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:25,058 You look a little surprised. 392 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:29,429 Well, I don't just always birdwatch, you know. 393 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:30,863 I didn't think so. 394 00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,165 Heavens to Betsy, no. 395 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,301 You see, on Thursdays, there's the lectures 396 00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,069 at the planetarium, and you should have 397 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,637 been there last week, Daniel. 398 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,106 It would have done your heart good. 399 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:45,945 Well, dear, I guess Mr. Martin is a little different than you 400 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,681 had pictured him, isn't he? 401 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:49,582 Sure, is. 402 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:50,883 Yes. 403 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,086 I'm just a simple man with simple tastes, 404 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,722 seeking only to sharpen my keen mind. 405 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:00,493 You know something, Daddy? 406 00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:01,761 DANNY: Yes, dear? 407 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,930 You've pulled some pretty corny tricks in your time, 408 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:05,398 but this one takes the cake. 409 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:12,772 What do you mean by that? 410 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:13,806 Oh, you know what I mean. 411 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:15,342 Putting on this ridiculous act? 412 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,544 You don't give me credit for any brains at all, do you? 413 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,247 Did you actually think I'd fall for such a foolish stunt? 414 00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:22,115 No, it's not a foolish stunt at all. 415 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:25,018 And you, Dean, oh, I'm really surprised at you. 416 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,454 Did you honestly think that you could hide all 417 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:30,690 your-- your charm and magnetism behind a hat 418 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,725 and a phony umbrella? 419 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,394 It was silly of me, wasn't it? 420 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:41,334 Why don't you relax, loosen your tie and be yourself? 421 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:44,771 Oh, I thank you, and my Adam's apple thanks you. 422 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:46,773 Oh, Dino! 423 00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:49,209 You say such cute things. 424 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,543 Don't I? 425 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,645 Listen, now that you're here, I have a stack of records 426 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,114 that you autograph for me. 427 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,583 Now, make yourself comfortable, and I'll be right back. 428 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,324 You and your crummy charm! 429 00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,795 Can I help it if I was born adorable? 430 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,966 Look, we got time for the snappy chatter. 431 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,135 What are we gonna do now? 432 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,303 Well, Danny, hold tight. 433 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:17,970 We tried it your way, it didn't work. 434 00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,406 Now, we'll try it my way. 435 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:20,507 Huh? 436 00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:22,242 She's got a crush on me, I'll uncrush her. 437 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:25,044 I'll-- I'll hit her with that heavy lover bit, you know? 438 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,379 I'll scare her right out of her shoes. 439 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:27,947 Oh, now wait a minute. She's just a child. 440 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,749 Go in the kitchen, get a glass of water, let me go to work. 441 00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,518 Don't forget, she's just a little teenage kid now. 442 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:33,153 Get a glass of water, a tall glass. 443 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,288 Just remember, you're kibitzing with my daughter! 444 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,756 OK, OK. 445 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:57,610 (SINGING) I don't know why love you like I do. 446 00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,779 I don't know why. 447 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:00,680 I just do. 448 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:10,056 I don't know why you thrill me like you do. 449 00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:12,592 I don't know why. 450 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:15,395 You just do. 451 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:21,568 You never seem to want my romancing. 452 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:27,574 The only time you'll hold me is when-- 453 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:28,775 Sit down. 454 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:35,548 (SINGING) I don't know why I love you like I do. 455 00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,950 I don't know why. 456 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,920 I just do. 457 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:47,160 You never seem to want my romancing. 458 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:55,067 The only time you'll hold me is when we're dancing. 459 00:18:55,168 --> 00:19:00,273 I don't know why I love you like I do. 460 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:04,444 I don't know why. 461 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,447 I just do. 462 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:21,027 Hi. 463 00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:22,495 Hi. 464 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,130 What are gonna do about that father of yours? 465 00:19:24,231 --> 00:19:25,798 He thinks you're just a mere child. 466 00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:29,068 Well, he's just trying to protect me from you. 467 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,237 Mhm. 468 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,972 Who's gonna to protect me from you? 469 00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:33,906 Huh? 470 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:34,841 Hmm? 471 00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:35,675 That's it. 472 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,009 Play it cozy, baby. 473 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:38,678 But we know what happened when you walked in this room, 474 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:39,512 don't we? 475 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:40,146 What? 476 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,381 What? 477 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:44,517 Our eyes met, and the countdown began. 478 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:52,959 Five, four, three, two, one, boom! 479 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,327 I'm not sure I know what you mean. 480 00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:55,995 Ah, come on, dream stuff. 481 00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:57,330 Stop playing it cool. 482 00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,065 You and me, we're made of the same ingredients. 483 00:19:59,165 --> 00:19:59,899 What do you say? 484 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:00,833 Just relax. 485 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:01,868 Don't fight it. 486 00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,470 Let that chain action roll. 487 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,004 Just sit right down here. 488 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:08,275 I know I'm older than you, but what's four or five years? 489 00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:13,646 baby, together, we can have a ball. 490 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,215 It'll be a gasser. 491 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,149 What are you talking about? 492 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,051 Talking about you and me. 493 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,653 Look, I have a convertible outside. 494 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:23,856 Let's jump in it and ride out into the birdwatching country 495 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,525 and let the birds watch us. 496 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,696 All aboard for cloud 9. 497 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:30,330 Now, come on. 498 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,264 Let's go right now. 499 00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:32,098 Right now? 500 00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:33,766 Right now. 501 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:34,701 I just couldn't. 502 00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:35,835 Well, why not? 503 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:39,972 Well, because it'll take me at least five minutes 504 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:40,973 to get my clothes changed! 505 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:41,941 Hold on! 506 00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:44,210 What are you-- whoa! 507 00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:45,077 You mean you wanna go? 508 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:46,313 Why, sure! 509 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,514 Don't you want time to think it over? 510 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,516 What's to think, dream stuff? 511 00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,784 Well, you just can't go zooming out into the country 512 00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:54,687 with anybody like that! 513 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:55,822 Why not, Daddy-o? 514 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,291 You and I are made of the same ingredients. 515 00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,360 Let's get that chain reaction going. 516 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,828 See you in five. 517 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,130 Then we'll jive! 518 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:04,964 Terri, come here. 519 00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:05,832 No! 520 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,667 Terri, no! 521 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:08,501 Danny! 522 00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:12,372 Danny! 523 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:13,806 What's the matter? 524 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,908 Don't look now, but I think I'm your new son-in-law. 525 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:16,743 What? 526 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,950 This is no time for wisecracks! 527 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,284 This is no wisecrack. 528 00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,153 She's gonna take me for a ride in the country. 529 00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:27,987 What? 530 00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:28,888 What what? 531 00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,089 She's upstairs changing. 532 00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,324 My baby? 533 00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:35,595 If she's a baby, I'm Dennis the Menace! 534 00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:36,429 Maybe. 535 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:37,530 Well, I've had it up to here. 536 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,131 I'm through playing games. Terri! 537 00:21:39,231 --> 00:21:40,199 Terri! 538 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:41,300 Come down here! -Come down here! 539 00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:42,201 TERRI: In a minute, Daddy. 540 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,069 Right now. 541 00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:45,204 Now! 542 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,138 What kind of a father am I? 543 00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:47,139 Where have I failed? 544 00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:48,040 You failed somewhere, Danny. 545 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:48,875 Oh, be quiet! 546 00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:53,880 Now, Terri-- -Whoa. 547 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:54,747 Yeah. 548 00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,185 What's going on here? 549 00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:00,587 Well, I'll tell you what's going on here. 550 00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:01,954 You're treating me as though I didn't 551 00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:03,523 have a-- a brain in my head. 552 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:05,291 Well, how else do you want me to treat you? 553 00:22:05,392 --> 00:22:07,226 Wanted to go out riding in the country with a man 554 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,395 more than twice your age! 555 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:10,930 Easy with the age stuff! 556 00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:12,632 All right. 557 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,300 Anyway, what do you mean, you're gonna go riding 558 00:22:14,401 --> 00:22:15,702 in the country with Dean? 559 00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:18,738 Come on, now, Daddy, you don't think I was serious? 560 00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:22,575 Well, wha-- he-- well, you-- he-- 561 00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,612 Oh, you mean, you were just putting it on? 562 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:28,815 Well, Daddy isn't the only actor in the family. 563 00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:34,821 Well, then-- then you don't have a crush on me. 564 00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:35,855 Of course I have! 565 00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,390 I adore you! 566 00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:38,290 Here we go again, kid. 567 00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:39,091 Hold on to your hats. 568 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,428 Oh no. 569 00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:42,762 Now, you listen to me, young lady. 570 00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,431 Yeah, you listen to him, young lady. 571 00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:45,965 No, you listen to me. 572 00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:48,935 You two grown-ups have a few of the facts of life to learn. 573 00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,169 What? 574 00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:53,239 Look, boys collect sport shirts, 575 00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:54,941 model airplanes, and jalopies. 576 00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:59,145 And teenage girls collect sweaters, records, and crushes. 577 00:22:59,245 --> 00:23:01,748 You collect crushes? 578 00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:02,749 Certainly. 579 00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:05,117 Oh, Penny's crazy about Vic Damone, 580 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,420 and Lois is gone on Frank Sinatra. 581 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,723 And, well, Dean was the only one left! 582 00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:21,668 Now, just a minute, young lady. 583 00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,103 Now, if-- if you're just putting it on, 584 00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:26,973 how come you got all dressed up in that outfit? 585 00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:31,043 Because I'm going skating with Donald. 586 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:32,979 Wait a minute. 587 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:34,981 Well, I thought you didn't like Donald. 588 00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:35,948 Of course I like him. 589 00:23:36,048 --> 00:23:37,283 He's my boyfriend. 590 00:23:37,383 --> 00:23:42,321 Donald is your boyfriend, but you have a crush on Dean? 591 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,756 That's right. 592 00:23:43,856 --> 00:23:45,925 Well, we're certainly learning the facts of life. 593 00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:48,260 Yeah. 594 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,996 What's the use of having a crash if you 595 00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:54,066 don't have a boyfriend who'll be jealous while you're having it? 596 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:56,035 Gee, everybody knows that. 597 00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:13,920 Boy, how stupid can I be? 598 00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:16,288 And I thought I knew all about raising children. 599 00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:18,190 How stupid can I be? 600 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:19,158 I thought I was irresistible. 601 00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:23,129 The only one left? 602 00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:31,170 Danny? 603 00:24:31,270 --> 00:24:32,739 Huh? 604 00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:34,574 You really have nothing to worry about. 605 00:24:34,674 --> 00:24:36,909 You got a real fine, wonderful daughter. 606 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,077 You remember that. 607 00:24:38,177 --> 00:24:39,311 Yeah, I guess I have, Dean. 608 00:24:39,411 --> 00:24:40,146 Yup. 609 00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:41,981 Thanks, anyway. 610 00:24:42,081 --> 00:24:43,249 All right. 611 00:24:43,349 --> 00:24:45,618 Now, what are you doing? 612 00:24:45,718 --> 00:24:48,855 I'm going downstairs, across the street in the park, 613 00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:51,423 because there is a red-throated bullfinch 614 00:24:51,524 --> 00:24:52,659 down there that's a gasser. 615 00:24:52,759 --> 00:24:53,926 I gotta see this cat. 42150

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