All language subtitles for The.Danny.Thomas.Show.S05E11.The.Soap.Box.Derby.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-QOQ_track3_[eng]

Hey, honey?

Honey, look at that.

Look at that, sweetheart.

How do you like that?

21 out of 52.

Oh, that's good, darling.

Good?
That's great.

Come on, let me see how
many you can get in the hat.

Oh, honey, not right now.

Louise is sick today, and I've
got a million things to do.

Well look,
sweetheart, talk to me.

I'm lonesome.

When you're not working, you're
worse than a restless child.

There must be
something you can do.

Yeah, come here.

I've got an idea.
-Hm?

Sit down.

I want you to hear the song
I'm gonna put in the new show.

Sit right there,
don't go anywhere.

All right?

Listen, it's a beautiful song.
Lovely ballad.

Listen to this.

(SINGING) You can tell
when you open the door.

You can tell if
there's love in a home.

Every table and
chair seems to smile.

Do come in.

Come and stay for a while.

You almost feel you've
been there once before.

By the shine and the
glow of the room.

And the clock seems to
chime come again any time.

You'll be welcome
wherever you roam.

You can tell when
there's love in a home.

(SPEAKING) Kathy?

Kathy?

Hey-- aw, you never
even heard that song.

Well I'm sorry--

Why, darling, it was a new
song I'm gonna on the show.

Now sit down, I
want to play it for.

But honey, I've got too
much work to do today.

I tell you, why don't
you go down to the club

and help them get
ready for the opening?

Nothing doing.

They're running
production numbers today.

I've got nothing to do there.

Oh I know, honey,
but there must be

something you can find to do.

Now you run along.

There's nobody at the club
but a bunch of chorus girls.

Well go down anyway,
honey, I've got to get

you out from under my feet.

Chorus girls?

Daddy, you come right back here.

What's the matter?

Don't you dare
leave this house.

Do you have to do
everything I tell you to do?

Well--

Oh really, darling.

What you need is a hobby
to keep you out of trouble.

I've got a hobby.

Come here.

Oh.

Honey, that's a very nice hobby,
but I've just got a lot of work

to do.

Now please, honey,
go on and, uh,

sing your song again for me.

I can hear it in
the kitchen, so you

sing nice and loud for mommy.

That's a good boy.

Hey!

Hey.

Danny, hi!

How you doing?

I just took a
couple of days off,

so I thought I'd stick
my head in and say hello.

Well it's sure
great to see you.

Oh boy, are you
putting on the lard.

Posture with me.

Posture, huh?

You're no string being
yourself there, tubby.

Come on in.

Honey, it's your father.

Hi, dad.

Hi-ya, sweetheart.

Well this is a surprise.

How long you gonna be here?

Oh, I figured I'd stay
in town a week or so.

It-- It all depends on whether
I can get a reservation

at a hotel for that long.

A hotel?

What are you talking about?

Don't be silly.

You're staying with us.

Oh, no.

I wouldn't think
of putting you out.

Oh, you're not putting us out.

As a matter of
fact, you've arrived

just in the nick of time.

Now Danny has a playmate.

Yeah.

Oh no, I don't wanna-- I don't
wanna put you to any trouble.

It's no trouble.

Now you'll stay with
us and that's final.

Now Danny--

I insist.

Now I'll go down to the
car and get your luggage.

Oh, Danny, you don't
have to do that.

Don't argue with
me, I want to do it.

Oh.

Well look, you can go down
to the car if you want to,

but, uh, be careful you
don't trip over my bags.

They're right outside the door.

Why you big phony.

You knew we'd make
you stay with us.

You are the world's greatest
con artist, do you know that?

I'm better get my bags
before you change your mind.

I'll get them.

I'll get them.

Oh hello, baby.

Look who's here.

Grandpa!

Grandpa!

Oh, how are you, sweetheart?

Oh my.

That's the sweetest
kiss I ever got.

It's strawberry.

How's my girl?

I'm not your girl anymore.

You're not?

No.

I'm Tommy's girl.

Here, hold my lollipop.

I'll show you.

See?

He gave me a space
commander's button.

Well now just a minute.

Who's this Tommy?

Oh, Tommy Edwards.

A little boy in her
kindergarten class.

Oh.

So I've lost you as my girl, eh?

Yeah.

And he said we're going steady.

You're going steady?

Yeah.

Isn't that wonderful, grandpa?

It sure is.

What's going steady?

Don't you know?

No.

Tommy doesn't know either,
but we're gonna ask his sister

so we know what we're going.

I know where you're going.

Right now, you're going straight
upstairs and get cleaned up.

Oh hi, gramps.

Where's daddy?

I've got to see him right away.

Hey, wait a minute.

Come here.

I haven't seen you for a
month and that's all I get

is hi-ya gramps, where's daddy?

I'm sorry, gramps.

Now that's better.

It's just that I'm in a hurry.

I've got to see
daddy right away.

He's got to help me.

Now hold your horses.

Why does it have
to be your daddy?

There's nothing in the book
that says your grandfather can't

help you.
-OK.

You can help me.

Now what is it you need?

$15.

Hey, Danny, your son wants you.

Come on and get
over here, will you?

-Dad?
-What's going on?

He wants you.

What is it?

I need $15.

$15?

For what?

Well, a bunch of
us kids at school

want to enter the soapbox
derby and I need the $15

to buy the wheels and parts.

And if you'll tell me
where your wallet is,

I'll be glad to get it for you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Take it easy.

Hold it a second here.

You need more than wheels
and parts for a soapbox race.

You've got to have tools and
a place to build the thing.

Mr. Johnson said I could use a
corner of the basement and all

the tools, too.

-Well--
-Gee.

Thanks, daddy.

Where's your wallet?
-Whoa, whoa.

I didn't say yes.

All I said was well.

Ah, let him do it, Danny.

It's things like this that
build the boys character.

Teaches them how to do
things for themselves.

Hm.

Spoken like a true grandfather.

All right, yeah.

Here, here's $15.

Gee.
Thanks, daddy!

Let's get one
thing straight now.

You're building this yourself.

Don't be coming up
here every five minutes

and, dad help me with this,
or, dad help me with that.

This is your project,
you do it alone, right?

I'll build it all by myself.

That's the only way
I want to do it.

Fine.
That'll be fine.

How do you like it?

Lifted me for $15
in three seconds.

Want a cigar?

No thanks.

Soapbox derby, huh?

Yeah.

I remember when I
was a kid, I used

to build those soapbox racers.

When you were a kid, they
hadn't even invented soap yet.

No, but they
invented the box so

that when the soap came along
they got a place to put it.

That's pretty good.

Huh, dad?

$15 for wheels and
parts, just like that.

And I give it to him.

Could you imagine us
saying, hey pop, can I

have $15 for wheels and parts?

You think our dads
would've given it to us?

I don't know
about your old man,

but my old man would've
given it to me.

And you know where.

I used to have to
go to the junkyard

and dig around the parts.

Ah.

How well I remember.

And boy, where those
wheels hard to find.

Oh, we never had any
trouble finding wheels.

There were plenty of wheels.

You didn't?

Where'd you find them?

Well all I can tell you is
that in our neighborhood,

it was very rare
to see a baby buggy

with more than three wheels.

Ah, those were
the good old days.

Yeah, they sure were.

Yeah.

We should had fun building
things when we were kids.

We did, too.

Let's go down and watch
Rusty build his racer.

Come on.

That's a good idea.

Yeah, but, no helping him.

I mean, he does the work by
himself just like I said.

Sure.

You give him the money for the
parts, and now it's up to Rusty

to build the racer.

That's right.

I mean, the most we'll do is
maybe supervisor a little.

Yeah.

You know, supervising
isn't really

like doing the work for him.

It's more like being
a technical advisor.

Yeah.

And we see that he doesn't break
any of the tools or anything.

Right.

Course, uh, he
does all the work.

I mean, we don't lift a hand.

Hand?

We don't lift a finger.

We better put on
some old clothes.

Hi, son.

Hi, daddy.

Hi, grandpa.

How's it going?

I haven't even
gotten started yet.

Oh?

Oh, well now don't
get discouraged.

We'll have this thing
built in no time.

-Yeah.
-Who's we?

Uh, you, and me, and grandpa.

Of course, you're
going to do all work.

We're just going to
supervise a little.

I mean, like, in case you should
run into any kind of trouble.

RUSTY: Oh.

What kind of trouble
have you run into?

None so far.

I'm doing swell.
-Oh?

Well now you've got to be sure
you get the wheels on tight

so you don't have any
drag, you understand?

Ah, ah, ah.
Now you leave the wheels to me.

I know just how to do that.

Oh?

OK.

I'll-- I'll rig up the chassis.

Now that can wait.

We build the body first.

No.

You know, you got
a build a chassis

first and mount the body on it.

It tells you right here
in the book what to do.

Never mind the book.

I know what to do.

You build the body first
and then put on the wheels.

That's the way they do it.

Oh it is, huh?

Yeah.

Well that maybe you
ought to go to Detroit

and help those poor,
misguided fellas

because they've been
building them all wrong

according to you.

You see, they build
the chassis first,

then mount the body on it.

Well I'll build it my
way here, and you can go

to Detroit to build a fairway.

You better hurry or
you'll miss your plane.

Now just a minute, will you?

Who's building this
thing, you or me?

I am.

Oh, sure you are, son.

Sure, sure.

Yeah, we-- we're just
here to supervisor this.

That's right, but I
want him supervising

the building of a monstrosity.

-Oh yeah?
-Daddy--

Well what makes you think
what you supervise would be any

better than what I supervise?

Because I'm a younger man--

But daddy, I'm--

--than you are and I
understand the modern trends.

MAN: Yeah?
-Yeah.

I mean, today things
are built streamline.

The whole idea is build
low to the ground.

Low to the ground, huh?

Yeah.

Well in that case,
your brains are

in the right place for the job.

Look, wise guy,
let's let Rusty decide

who should supervisor, huh?

Rus?

Hey.

Rus?

Now where did he go?

I don't know.

Just walked out, I guess.

How do you like that kid?

He always does that.

Starts something
and never finishes.

That's right.

Well now that we got rid
of him, let's get to work.

All right.

Come over here and I'll
show you the design.

I'll-- I'll draw it.

This is the way it should look.

You see here?

You give it this shape.

A round here, a cross
there, a round there,

and there's the wheels.

What is that?

Put a handle on it,
you'll have a push cart.

This is a streamlined
racer we're building.

It's got to be low.

The whole idea is cut down
on the win resistance.

Well most of the wind
resistance around here

could be cut down if you
just shut your mouth.

There's plenty of breeze
coming from your direction, kid.

Yeah, but I haven't got a
big plow on my kisser to cut

through it like you have.

How's it going?

It's going no place.

Danny here can't make up his
mind what he wants for Rusty.

I'm a little confused.

I thought Rusty was
building this racer.

Where is he?

Ah, I don't know.

He left.

Eh, well forget Rusty.

We got work to do.

Well, if you ask me there's one
too many mechanics on this job.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well I was just
thinking the same thing.

Why don't you and
Kathy go to a movie?

Why don't you take
her to a movie?

She's your wife and
she deserves to go

to a movie once in awhile.

What kind of a husband are you?

Well she's your daughter.

You don't see her so much.

You know, you ought to
spend more time with her.

Take her to a movie.

You call yourself a father?

What kind of a crack is that?

I love my daughter.

I love her, too.

Let's flip a coin.

The loser takes her to a movie.

-Go ahead.
-What do you want?

Heads or tails?

Heads.

Gee, thanks a lot.

Don't bother flipping any
coins over my company.

I wouldn't dream of
spoiling your fun.

Go on, enjoy yourself.

I've got plenty to
keep me occupied.

Take him with you.

He'll be good for
peeling the potatoes.

Not good for anything else.

Look, why don't you go and
help your daughter or something

and let me finish this thing,
you bull-headed Yankee?

I'm staying right here,
you Lebanese camel jockey.

I can't trust you
to build it alone.

We're building a
racer, not a pyramid.

We're not going to get
any place unless there's

just one boss on the job.

Now you're talking.

There can only be one
captain on a ship.

Fine.

Now dip your hands in
that bucket of grease

and get these lubricated.

Here.

What do you mean dip
my hands in a bucket?

I'm the boss here.

Who says?

I've had more experience.

I'm older than you are.

That's right, you are older.

And according to the firm's
old age pension plan,

you've just been retired.

We'll mail you your gold watch.

Goodbye.

This is the winner.

What are you, nuts?

Come over, I'll
show you the winner.

Come here.

Here, this is the
way you build it.

See?

You taper the end,
low like that.

Swing it just a little
higher in front like that.

Give it kind of a--
a teardrop shape.

See?

A teardrop shape, eh?

That's right, daddy-o.

Build another one
like that, and you've

got a nice pair of earrings.

This is the one I'm gonna build.

OK.

You build that one.

I'll build that one, and
we'll let the kid decide

which one he wants to race in.
-Fair enough.

OK.

Now step aside,
I got work to do.

Huh?

First thing I got to
do is mount my wheels.

Hold the phone.

Hold the phone.

I paid $15 for those wheels.

You want wheels?

Go get your own.

All right, I will.

Hey.

What?

Where do they keep the baby
buggys in this building?

"Jet Flyer."

Ha!

Well it's certainly better
looking than that "Blue Plate

Special" of yours.

That's "Blue Street Special."

Call it what you
want to call it,

it still doesn't look
like a racing car.

No?

Well it'll look
pretty good with Rusty

in it when he proudly comes
across the finish line

a winner.

You honestly believe he's
going to pick that monstrosity

over this streamliner?

Of course.

Let's just wait until he gets
here and let him decide, huh?

Well believe me, it's
gonna be a pretty tough

decision for the kid to make.

Whether to pick the one
he really likes the best,

or pick that one because
his father made it.

We just won't say
who made which one.

I mean, I wouldn't want him
to know that you made that one

anyhow because I know my son.

He'd be a cinch to
pick yours on account

of he wouldn't want to be
cruel to a feeble old man.

You wouldn't care to do
something more than just

wave your lip at me, would do?

Meaning what?

Meaning I'm willing to bet you
that my "Blue Plate Special--"

"Blue Streak Special" will run--

No, you had it
right. "Blue Plate."

--"Blue Streak Special" will
run circles around your "Jet

Flyer" any day of the week.

I will take that bet.

Come on.

Come on where?

There's a nice steep hill
just two blocks from here.

Open that door.

Quiet, I'll do the talking.

Yeah, you've been
talking all day.

Quiet.

Are you Mrs. Williams?

Yes I am.

Well these two boys
claim they live here.

They do, but what's the matter?

Well I caught these two
middle aged delinquents racing

scooters down on the
street, crossing Second

Avenue against the light
and failing to yield

when I blew my whistle.

I wanted to yield, I
didn't have a yielder.

I forgot to put brakes
on the darn thing.

Some mechanic, eh?

I told you--

Quiet or I'll
run the two of you

in for disturbing the peace.

I don't know why I didn't
do it in the first place.

And look, Mrs. Williams, if
they give you any more trouble

do me a favor-- send
them to a day camp.

Really?

You two ought to be
ashamed of your yourselves.

Two grown men acting like
a couple of schoolboys.

What do you mean schoolboys?

We built a couple of
professional racers.

We had to road test them to
see which one was the fastest.

And we saw.

What do you mean
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha?"

I didn't get a fair start.

Oh yes you did.

You're supposed to start
rolling from a dead stop,

but you pushed and
then jumped on.

I did not push.

Yes you did.

The thing was so fast
it started without me.

I had to catch up with it.

Yeah.

You want to return match,
buddy, you can have it any time.

Well now is as
good a time as any.

Come on.
-No!

Stop it.

Just a minute.

Do you want to end up
in a reform school?

Ah, besides, it wouldn't
prove anything anyhow.

Rusty is going to choose mine
and that's all there is to it.

How do you know he
won't choose mine?

Because I know he
won't choose yours.

Now wait a minute.

If you two would just bother
to read the rule books,

you would have
seen this paragraph

and it would've settled
the whole argument.

Now listen, "The
racer must be built

solely by the contestant."

What?

"Any assistance immediately
disqualifies the entrant.

Each boy is honor bound to
follow this rule." unquote.

Let me see that.

Then Rusty can use
either one of them.

Not according to this he can't.

But he must have
known the rules.

Why didn't he say something?
-Yeah.

If I know you two,
he didn't chance.

He got a chance, all right.

How do you like that kid?

Hm.

Well, I'll make sure he
doesn't use either one of them.

Come on, pop, let's go
downstairs and take them apart.

Oh, it seems to
pity, Danny, after all

the work you put into them.

Oh, Danny, before we
do this, couldn't we

take them out for one more run?

No, poppers.

Oh.

Wouldn't be any fun now anyhow.

Gee, I don't wanna believe it.

I don't want to believe it.

Just can't believe that my
son would cheat like that.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

Rusty didn't cheat.

Oh he didn't, huh?

No.

I-- I didn't want to
interfere, Danny, but--

Well then don't,
will you, honey?

Well I'm not going to have
you calling Rusty a cheater.

Look, baby, this is a
problem between me my son

and I think I'm man
enough to handle it.

Well all right,
my lord and master.

If that's the way you
feel about it, handle it.

Well how else do
you want me to feel?

I mean, the boy
knew the rules yet

he let us do that job for him.

Now if that's not cheating, I
don't know what you call it.

It's as plain as
the nose on my face.

And nothing could
be plainer than that.

Yeah.

You know, it's going to
be a happy day for me

when you run out of nose jokes.

I will when you
run out of nose.

Oh come on.

Well I see you've found them.

Oh yeah.

Did you and grandpa make these?

Yeah, me and grandpa made them.

Me and grandpa are gonna take
them apart right now, too.

How come?

They're real neat.

Look, when we
built these things

we didn't know about the rules.

It was after we finished them
that we found out the truth.

I must say, I'm terribly
disappointed, son.

Well I don't blame you.

I'd be disappointed too.

But I could have told you.

You could have told me what?

That you and grandpa
are too old to race

in the soapbox derby.

You know what
we're talking about.

You read that rule
book, didn't you?

Sure.

Well at least he's
honest enough to admit it.

You're going to have to forget
all about the soapbox derby

for this year, that's all.

Why?

Look, I don't want
any argument with you.

Someday you'll thank me for
making you do the right thing.

I don't even know
what I'm doing wrong.

Look, you said
you read the rules.

And if you read them,
you must know that they

apply to all the boys.

You're no exception.

You can't race either
one of these racers.

I don't want to race in them.

I've got my own,
the "Green Hornet."

The what?

The "Green Hornet."

Wait until you see it.

The "Green Hornet?"

Well, how do you like it?

Isn't she a beauty?

You built that?

Uh-huh.

All by yourself?

Uh-huh.

Over at Eddie Canfield's house.

You built that all by yourself?

I had to.

Those are the rules, you know.

Just a minute.

Just a mi-- where'd you get
the money for the parts?

From Kathy.

Kathy?

RUSTY: Yeah.

You mean she knew and she
let us hammer our fingers

to bits for nothing?

She said that's the best way
to keep you out of my hair.

Mr. Daly, you have
a sneaky daughter.

Correction, Mr. Williams.

You have a sneaky wife.

Well one thing is certain.

I don't have a sneaky son.

Gee, I'm-- I'm sure glad
you built this by yourself.

It's real nice, too.

Real nice.

Of course, it may not be as fast
as that "Jet Flyer" of mine,

but--

You mean my "Blue
Streak Special."

Who says it's not as fast?

Why, I bet this baby here can
beat be both of those crates.

Crates?

Yeah.

They look flashy, but I bet
they're all show and no go.

No go, eh?

Mm.

I think this young man
needs to be taught a lesson.

I was just thinking
the same thing.

Hey, Rus.

When you came home, did you
see a big, tall policeman

standing on the corner?

No, there was no
policeman there.

Open the door, come on.

Oh no, not again.

Yeah, again.

Look, lady, I'm a very busy man.

I've got a tough beat, and
the captain won't like it

if I have to spend all my
time chasing Tom Sawyer

and Huckleberry Finn here.

So I'm telling you
for the last time,

if this happens again I'm
going to throw the both of them

in clink.

And don't say I didn't warn you.

Well I promise
you, officer, I'll

see that they're both punished.

I'll send them to bed
without any supper.

You should have
seen the two of them

racing in their
scooters down the hill

chasing some poor little kid.

Look they if they
would've caught him

they'd have killed him.

It's a good thing he had
a two block lead on them.

Hi.

This is a picture of St. Jude
hospital in Memphis, Tennessee.

It is supported by an
organization known as ALSAC--

A-L-S-A-C-- and I am proud to be
president of that organization.

ALSAC means Aiding Leukemia
Stricken American Children,

and members of my organization
and I have pledged ourselves

to do everything we possibly
can to help fight this dreaded

killer of children, leukemia.

Thank you.