Original subtitles

Hey, honey?

Honey, look at that.

Look at that, sweetheart.

How do you like that?

21 out of 52.

Oh, that's good, darling.

Good? That's great.

Come on, let me see how many you can get in the hat.

Oh, honey, not right now.

Louise is sick today, and I've got a million things to do.

Well look, sweetheart, talk to me.

I'm lonesome.

When you're not working, you're worse than a restless child.

There must be something you can do.

Yeah, come here.

I've got an idea. -Hm?

Sit down.

I want you to hear the song I'm gonna put in the new show.

Sit right there, don't go anywhere.

All right?

Listen, it's a beautiful song. Lovely ballad.

Listen to this.

(SINGING) You can tell when you open the door.

You can tell if there's love in a home.

Every table and chair seems to smile.

Do come in.

Come and stay for a while.

You almost feel you've been there once before.

By the shine and the glow of the room.

And the clock seems to chime come again any time.

You'll be welcome wherever you roam.

You can tell when there's love in a home.

(SPEAKING) Kathy?

Kathy?

Hey-- aw, you never even heard that song.

Well I'm sorry--

Why, darling, it was a new song I'm gonna on the show.

Now sit down, I want to play it for.

But honey, I've got too much work to do today.

I tell you, why don't you go down to the club

and help them get ready for the opening?

Nothing doing.

They're running production numbers today.

I've got nothing to do there.

Oh I know, honey, but there must be

something you can find to do.

Now you run along.

There's nobody at the club but a bunch of chorus girls.

Well go down anyway, honey, I've got to get

you out from under my feet.

Chorus girls?

Daddy, you come right back here.

What's the matter?

Don't you dare leave this house.

Do you have to do everything I tell you to do?

Well--

Oh really, darling.

What you need is a hobby to keep you out of trouble.

I've got a hobby.

Come here.

Oh.

Honey, that's a very nice hobby, but I've just got a lot of work

to do.

Now please, honey, go on and, uh,

sing your song again for me.

I can hear it in the kitchen, so you

sing nice and loud for mommy.

That's a good boy.

Hey!

Hey.

Danny, hi!

How you doing?

I just took a couple of days off,

so I thought I'd stick my head in and say hello.

Well it's sure great to see you.

Oh boy, are you putting on the lard.

Posture with me.

Posture, huh?

You're no string being yourself there, tubby.

Come on in.

Honey, it's your father.

Hi, dad.

Hi-ya, sweetheart.

Well this is a surprise.

How long you gonna be here?

Oh, I figured I'd stay in town a week or so.

It-- It all depends on whether I can get a reservation

at a hotel for that long.

A hotel?

What are you talking about?

Don't be silly.

You're staying with us.

Oh, no.

I wouldn't think of putting you out.

Oh, you're not putting us out.

As a matter of fact, you've arrived

just in the nick of time.

Now Danny has a playmate.

Yeah.

Oh no, I don't wanna-- I don't wanna put you to any trouble.

It's no trouble.

Now you'll stay with us and that's final.

Now Danny--

I insist.

Now I'll go down to the car and get your luggage.

Oh, Danny, you don't have to do that.

Don't argue with me, I want to do it.

Oh.

Well look, you can go down to the car if you want to,

but, uh, be careful you don't trip over my bags.

They're right outside the door.

Why you big phony.

You knew we'd make you stay with us.

You are the world's greatest con artist, do you know that?

I'm better get my bags before you change your mind.

I'll get them.

I'll get them.

Oh hello, baby.

Look who's here.

Grandpa!

Grandpa!

Oh, how are you, sweetheart?

Oh my.

That's the sweetest kiss I ever got.

It's strawberry.

How's my girl?

I'm not your girl anymore.

You're not?

No.

I'm Tommy's girl.

Here, hold my lollipop.

I'll show you.

See?

He gave me a space commander's button.

Well now just a minute.

Who's this Tommy?

Oh, Tommy Edwards.

A little boy in her kindergarten class.

Oh.

So I've lost you as my girl, eh?

Yeah.

And he said we're going steady.

You're going steady?

Yeah.

Isn't that wonderful, grandpa?

It sure is.

What's going steady?

Don't you know?

No.

Tommy doesn't know either, but we're gonna ask his sister

so we know what we're going.

I know where you're going.

Right now, you're going straight upstairs and get cleaned up.

Oh hi, gramps.

Where's daddy?

I've got to see him right away.

Hey, wait a minute.

Come here.

I haven't seen you for a month and that's all I get

is hi-ya gramps, where's daddy?

I'm sorry, gramps.

Now that's better.

It's just that I'm in a hurry.

I've got to see daddy right away.

He's got to help me.

Now hold your horses.

Why does it have to be your daddy?

There's nothing in the book that says your grandfather can't

help you. -OK.

You can help me.

Now what is it you need?

$15.

Hey, Danny, your son wants you.

Come on and get over here, will you?

-Dad? -What's going on?

He wants you.

What is it?

I need $15.

$15?

For what?

Well, a bunch of us kids at school

want to enter the soapbox derby and I need the $15

to buy the wheels and parts.

And if you'll tell me where your wallet is,

I'll be glad to get it for you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Take it easy.

Hold it a second here.

You need more than wheels and parts for a soapbox race.

You've got to have tools and a place to build the thing.

Mr. Johnson said I could use a corner of the basement and all

the tools, too.

-Well-- -Gee.

Thanks, daddy.

Where's your wallet? -Whoa, whoa.

I didn't say yes.

All I said was well.

Ah, let him do it, Danny.

It's things like this that build the boys character.

Teaches them how to do things for themselves.

Hm.

Spoken like a true grandfather.

All right, yeah.

Here, here's $15.

Gee. Thanks, daddy!

Let's get one thing straight now.

You're building this yourself.

Don't be coming up here every five minutes

and, dad help me with this, or, dad help me with that.

This is your project, you do it alone, right?

I'll build it all by myself.

That's the only way I want to do it.

Fine. That'll be fine.

How do you like it?

Lifted me for $15 in three seconds.

Want a cigar?

No thanks.

Soapbox derby, huh?

Yeah.

I remember when I was a kid, I used

to build those soapbox racers.

When you were a kid, they hadn't even invented soap yet.

No, but they invented the box so

that when the soap came along they got a place to put it.

That's pretty good.

Huh, dad?

$15 for wheels and parts, just like that.

And I give it to him.

Could you imagine us saying, hey pop, can I

have $15 for wheels and parts?

You think our dads would've given it to us?

I don't know about your old man,

but my old man would've given it to me.

And you know where.

I used to have to go to the junkyard

and dig around the parts.

Ah.

How well I remember.

And boy, where those wheels hard to find.

Oh, we never had any trouble finding wheels.

There were plenty of wheels.

You didn't?

Where'd you find them?

Well all I can tell you is that in our neighborhood,

it was very rare to see a baby buggy

with more than three wheels.

Ah, those were the good old days.

Yeah, they sure were.

Yeah.

We should had fun building things when we were kids.

We did, too.

Let's go down and watch Rusty build his racer.

Come on.

That's a good idea.

Yeah, but, no helping him.

I mean, he does the work by himself just like I said.

Sure.

You give him the money for the parts, and now it's up to Rusty

to build the racer.

That's right.

I mean, the most we'll do is maybe supervisor a little.

Yeah.

You know, supervising isn't really

like doing the work for him.

It's more like being a technical advisor.

Yeah.

And we see that he doesn't break any of the tools or anything.

Right.

Course, uh, he does all the work.

I mean, we don't lift a hand.

Hand?

We don't lift a finger.

We better put on some old clothes.

Hi, son.

Hi, daddy.

Hi, grandpa.

How's it going?

I haven't even gotten started yet.

Oh?

Oh, well now don't get discouraged.

We'll have this thing built in no time.

-Yeah. -Who's we?

Uh, you, and me, and grandpa.

Of course, you're going to do all work.

We're just going to supervise a little.

I mean, like, in case you should run into any kind of trouble.

RUSTY: Oh.

What kind of trouble have you run into?

None so far.

I'm doing swell. -Oh?

Well now you've got to be sure you get the wheels on tight

so you don't have any drag, you understand?

Ah, ah, ah. Now you leave the wheels to me.

I know just how to do that.

Oh?

OK.

I'll-- I'll rig up the chassis.

Now that can wait.

We build the body first.

No.

You know, you got a build a chassis

first and mount the body on it.

It tells you right here in the book what to do.

Never mind the book.

I know what to do.

You build the body first and then put on the wheels.

That's the way they do it.

Oh it is, huh?

Yeah.

Well that maybe you ought to go to Detroit

and help those poor, misguided fellas

because they've been building them all wrong

according to you.

You see, they build the chassis first,

then mount the body on it.

Well I'll build it my way here, and you can go

to Detroit to build a fairway.

You better hurry or you'll miss your plane.

Now just a minute, will you?

Who's building this thing, you or me?

I am.

Oh, sure you are, son.

Sure, sure.

Yeah, we-- we're just here to supervisor this.

That's right, but I want him supervising

the building of a monstrosity.

-Oh yeah? -Daddy--

Well what makes you think what you supervise would be any

better than what I supervise?

Because I'm a younger man--

But daddy, I'm--

--than you are and I understand the modern trends.

MAN: Yeah? -Yeah.

I mean, today things are built streamline.

The whole idea is build low to the ground.

Low to the ground, huh?

Yeah.

Well in that case, your brains are

in the right place for the job.

Look, wise guy, let's let Rusty decide

who should supervisor, huh?

Rus?

Hey.

Rus?

Now where did he go?

I don't know.

Just walked out, I guess.

How do you like that kid?

He always does that.

Starts something and never finishes.

That's right.

Well now that we got rid of him, let's get to work.

All right.

Come over here and I'll show you the design.

I'll-- I'll draw it.

This is the way it should look.

You see here?

You give it this shape.

A round here, a cross there, a round there,

and there's the wheels.

What is that?

Put a handle on it, you'll have a push cart.

This is a streamlined racer we're building.

It's got to be low.

The whole idea is cut down on the win resistance.

Well most of the wind resistance around here

could be cut down if you just shut your mouth.

There's plenty of breeze coming from your direction, kid.

Yeah, but I haven't got a big plow on my kisser to cut

through it like you have.

How's it going?

It's going no place.

Danny here can't make up his mind what he wants for Rusty.

I'm a little confused.

I thought Rusty was building this racer.

Where is he?

Ah, I don't know.

He left.

Eh, well forget Rusty.

We got work to do.

Well, if you ask me there's one too many mechanics on this job.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well I was just thinking the same thing.

Why don't you and Kathy go to a movie?

Why don't you take her to a movie?

She's your wife and she deserves to go

to a movie once in awhile.

What kind of a husband are you?

Well she's your daughter.

You don't see her so much.

You know, you ought to spend more time with her.

Take her to a movie.

You call yourself a father?

What kind of a crack is that?

I love my daughter.

I love her, too.

Let's flip a coin.

The loser takes her to a movie.

-Go ahead. -What do you want?

Heads or tails?

Heads.

Gee, thanks a lot.

Don't bother flipping any coins over my company.

I wouldn't dream of spoiling your fun.

Go on, enjoy yourself.

I've got plenty to keep me occupied.

Take him with you.

He'll be good for peeling the potatoes.

Not good for anything else.

Look, why don't you go and help your daughter or something

and let me finish this thing, you bull-headed Yankee?

I'm staying right here, you Lebanese camel jockey.

I can't trust you to build it alone.

We're building a racer, not a pyramid.

We're not going to get any place unless there's

just one boss on the job.

Now you're talking.

There can only be one captain on a ship.

Fine.

Now dip your hands in that bucket of grease

and get these lubricated.

Here.

What do you mean dip my hands in a bucket?

I'm the boss here.

Who says?

I've had more experience.

I'm older than you are.

That's right, you are older.

And according to the firm's old age pension plan,

you've just been retired.

We'll mail you your gold watch.

Goodbye.

This is the winner.

What are you, nuts?

Come over, I'll show you the winner.

Come here.

Here, this is the way you build it.

See?

You taper the end, low like that.

Swing it just a little higher in front like that.

Give it kind of a-- a teardrop shape.

See?

A teardrop shape, eh?

That's right, daddy-o.

Build another one like that, and you've

got a nice pair of earrings.

This is the one I'm gonna build.

OK.

You build that one.

I'll build that one, and we'll let the kid decide

which one he wants to race in. -Fair enough.

OK.

Now step aside, I got work to do.

Huh?

First thing I got to do is mount my wheels.

Hold the phone.

Hold the phone.

I paid $15 for those wheels.

You want wheels?

Go get your own.

All right, I will.

Hey.

What?

Where do they keep the baby buggys in this building?

"Jet Flyer."

Ha!

Well it's certainly better looking than that "Blue Plate

Special" of yours.

That's "Blue Street Special."

Call it what you want to call it,

it still doesn't look like a racing car.

No?

Well it'll look pretty good with Rusty

in it when he proudly comes across the finish line

a winner.

You honestly believe he's going to pick that monstrosity

over this streamliner?

Of course.

Let's just wait until he gets here and let him decide, huh?

Well believe me, it's gonna be a pretty tough

decision for the kid to make.

Whether to pick the one he really likes the best,

or pick that one because his father made it.

We just won't say who made which one.

I mean, I wouldn't want him to know that you made that one

anyhow because I know my son.

He'd be a cinch to pick yours on account

of he wouldn't want to be cruel to a feeble old man.

You wouldn't care to do something more than just

wave your lip at me, would do?

Meaning what?

Meaning I'm willing to bet you that my "Blue Plate Special--"

"Blue Streak Special" will run--

No, you had it right. "Blue Plate."

--"Blue Streak Special" will run circles around your "Jet

Flyer" any day of the week.

I will take that bet.

Come on.

Come on where?

There's a nice steep hill just two blocks from here.

Open that door.

Quiet, I'll do the talking.

Yeah, you've been talking all day.

Quiet.

Are you Mrs. Williams?

Yes I am.

Well these two boys claim they live here.

They do, but what's the matter?

Well I caught these two middle aged delinquents racing

scooters down on the street, crossing Second

Avenue against the light and failing to yield

when I blew my whistle.

I wanted to yield, I didn't have a yielder.

I forgot to put brakes on the darn thing.

Some mechanic, eh?

I told you--

Quiet or I'll run the two of you

in for disturbing the peace.

I don't know why I didn't do it in the first place.

And look, Mrs. Williams, if they give you any more trouble

do me a favor-- send them to a day camp.

Really?

You two ought to be ashamed of your yourselves.

Two grown men acting like a couple of schoolboys.

What do you mean schoolboys?

We built a couple of professional racers.

We had to road test them to see which one was the fastest.

And we saw.

What do you mean "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha?"

I didn't get a fair start.

Oh yes you did.

You're supposed to start rolling from a dead stop,

but you pushed and then jumped on.

I did not push.

Yes you did.

The thing was so fast it started without me.

I had to catch up with it.

Yeah.

You want to return match, buddy, you can have it any time.

Well now is as good a time as any.

Come on. -No!

Stop it.

Just a minute.

Do you want to end up in a reform school?

Ah, besides, it wouldn't prove anything anyhow.

Rusty is going to choose mine and that's all there is to it.

How do you know he won't choose mine?

Because I know he won't choose yours.

Now wait a minute.

If you two would just bother to read the rule books,

you would have seen this paragraph

and it would've settled the whole argument.

Now listen, "The racer must be built

solely by the contestant."

What?

"Any assistance immediately disqualifies the entrant.

Each boy is honor bound to follow this rule." unquote.

Let me see that.

Then Rusty can use either one of them.

Not according to this he can't.

But he must have known the rules.

Why didn't he say something? -Yeah.

If I know you two, he didn't chance.

He got a chance, all right.

How do you like that kid?

Hm.

Well, I'll make sure he doesn't use either one of them.

Come on, pop, let's go downstairs and take them apart.

Oh, it seems to pity, Danny, after all

the work you put into them.

Oh, Danny, before we do this, couldn't we

take them out for one more run?

No, poppers.

Oh.

Wouldn't be any fun now anyhow.

Gee, I don't wanna believe it.

I don't want to believe it.

Just can't believe that my son would cheat like that.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

Rusty didn't cheat.

Oh he didn't, huh?

No.

I-- I didn't want to interfere, Danny, but--

Well then don't, will you, honey?

Well I'm not going to have you calling Rusty a cheater.

Look, baby, this is a problem between me my son

and I think I'm man enough to handle it.

Well all right, my lord and master.

If that's the way you feel about it, handle it.

Well how else do you want me to feel?

I mean, the boy knew the rules yet

he let us do that job for him.

Now if that's not cheating, I don't know what you call it.

It's as plain as the nose on my face.

And nothing could be plainer than that.

Yeah.

You know, it's going to be a happy day for me

when you run out of nose jokes.

I will when you run out of nose.

Oh come on.

Well I see you've found them.

Oh yeah.

Did you and grandpa make these?

Yeah, me and grandpa made them.

Me and grandpa are gonna take them apart right now, too.

How come?

They're real neat.

Look, when we built these things

we didn't know about the rules.

It was after we finished them that we found out the truth.

I must say, I'm terribly disappointed, son.

Well I don't blame you.

I'd be disappointed too.

But I could have told you.

You could have told me what?

That you and grandpa are too old to race

in the soapbox derby.

You know what we're talking about.

You read that rule book, didn't you?

Sure.

Well at least he's honest enough to admit it.

You're going to have to forget all about the soapbox derby

for this year, that's all.

Why?

Look, I don't want any argument with you.

Someday you'll thank me for making you do the right thing.

I don't even know what I'm doing wrong.

Look, you said you read the rules.

And if you read them, you must know that they

apply to all the boys.

You're no exception.

You can't race either one of these racers.

I don't want to race in them.

I've got my own, the "Green Hornet."

The what?

The "Green Hornet."

Wait until you see it.

The "Green Hornet?"

Well, how do you like it?

Isn't she a beauty?

You built that?

Uh-huh.

All by yourself?

Uh-huh.

Over at Eddie Canfield's house.

You built that all by yourself?

I had to.

Those are the rules, you know.

Just a minute.

Just a mi-- where'd you get the money for the parts?

From Kathy.

Kathy?

RUSTY: Yeah.

You mean she knew and she let us hammer our fingers

to bits for nothing?

She said that's the best way to keep you out of my hair.

Mr. Daly, you have a sneaky daughter.

Correction, Mr. Williams.

You have a sneaky wife.

Well one thing is certain.

I don't have a sneaky son.

Gee, I'm-- I'm sure glad you built this by yourself.

It's real nice, too.

Real nice.

Of course, it may not be as fast as that "Jet Flyer" of mine,

but--

You mean my "Blue Streak Special."

Who says it's not as fast?

Why, I bet this baby here can beat be both of those crates.

Crates?

Yeah.

They look flashy, but I bet they're all show and no go.

No go, eh?

Mm.

I think this young man needs to be taught a lesson.

I was just thinking the same thing.

Hey, Rus.

When you came home, did you see a big, tall policeman

standing on the corner?

No, there was no policeman there.

Open the door, come on.

Oh no, not again.

Yeah, again.

Look, lady, I'm a very busy man.

I've got a tough beat, and the captain won't like it

if I have to spend all my time chasing Tom Sawyer

and Huckleberry Finn here.

So I'm telling you for the last time,

if this happens again I'm going to throw the both of them

in clink.

And don't say I didn't warn you.

Well I promise you, officer, I'll

see that they're both punished.

I'll send them to bed without any supper.

You should have seen the two of them

racing in their scooters down the hill

chasing some poor little kid.

Look they if they would've caught him

they'd have killed him.

It's a good thing he had a two block lead on them.

Hi.

This is a picture of St. Jude hospital in Memphis, Tennessee.

It is supported by an organization known as ALSAC--

A-L-S-A-C-- and I am proud to be president of that organization.

ALSAC means Aiding Leukemia Stricken American Children,

and members of my organization and I have pledged ourselves

to do everything we possibly can to help fight this dreaded

killer of children, leukemia.

Thank you.