All language subtitles for The.Danny.Thomas.Show.S05E07.Danny.Meets.His.Father-In-Law.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-QOQ_track3_[eng]

Danny, aren't you
going to get dressed?

I am dressed.

Well, I thought as long as you
were meeting my father, that

you'd wear something-- well--

What do you want me
to do, wear a tuxedo?

No, but you've got a
closet full of suits,

and it's important
to look right.

People judge you
the way you dress.

Honey, this is the right
way to dress, meeting

your father for the first time.

He'll come into our home,
he'll realize we haven't

made a big fuss over him.

He'll be relaxed.

He'll make himself at home.

Well, I suppose you're right.

I know I'm right.

As a matter of fact, I'll never
forget the time I was wrong.

Don't worry about it.

We're going to get
along just fine.

I know you are.

You're going to get
along just fine.

You're a wonderful husband.

I'm proud of you, and I don't
care what my father says.

-What did he say?
-Oh, nothing.

Nothing.
-How could he say anything?

He hasn't even met me.

Well, I-- I know,
dear, but I just

want you to know that if he said
something, I-- I don't care.

But darling, please,
don't lose your temper,

or get upset by anything--

Why should I want to lose
my temper, or get upset?

-Oh, there he is!

There he is!

All right.

What's the matter, honey?

What, is he a man from
Mars, or something?

What's wrong?

Remember, Danny,
please be diplomatic.

I'll be--

Give him plenty
of time to warm up.

All right.

OK.

Hiya, sweetheart.

Oh, it's so good to see you.

Yeah, and it's good to see you.

Turn around, here,
let me look at you.

I missed you.

Yes, and I missed you, too.

How are you, Dad?

Oh, great.

Great.

Hi, Grandpa.

Oh, Dad, this is your
new grandson, Rusty.

He's a fine looking boy.

How are ya, son?

And who is this?

Dad, this is my husband, Danny.

Your new son-in-law

Hm.

What's he doing,
wearing his pajamas

in the middle of the day?

It's not pajamas, it's,
uh-- it's a sport outfit.

What sport do you go in for?

No, I don't--

It's a nice looking
shack ya got here.

Take your coat off,
loosen your tie.

Make yourself comfortable.

Yeah, I'm comfortable
just the way I am.

Uh, where's my granddaughter?

Oh, well she hasn't
awakened from her nap yet.

Well, wake her up.

I drove all the way down here
from Albany just to see her.

Well, and to meet
your new son in law.

Oh, yeah.

Where will I put my suit coat?

Oh, I'll take care
of that for you.

I'll put those away.

I'll help you, Daddy.

All right.

Now, be careful with that.

That's my prized trout rod.
-OK.

Yeah, put it in
the closet there,

where it'll be safe, Rus.

OK, Daddy.

I'll put it in
the back bedroom.

Well, Dad, how do you like him?

There's a lot of man there.

Well, around the nose
I'll agree with ya.

He sure as a big bugle.

Now Dad, you stop that.

I think he has a beautiful
nose, and I don't

want you making fun of it.

All right, all right.

Not all right, all right.

Promise.

Oh, all right.

I promise.

Come on, now,
tell me the truth.

What do you really think of him?

Why didn't you
married Kevin Maguire?

Kevin Maguire?

The only reason you
like him is because you

knew I wouldn't marry him.

Oh, is that so?

Oh, yes.

You scared the daylights out
of every boy I ever dated.

If I hadn't eloped
with Tom O'Hara,

you'd probably have
chased him away, too.

Oh, now wait a minute.

No, you wait a minute.

I want you to understand that
I love Danny, and he loves me.

Well, he'd better
love you, or I'll

break every bone in his body.

And you'd better like him, or--

Now, take it easy.

Take it easy.

I can't understand ya.

You've got your mother's Irish
temper, and my good looks.

Any temper I got
wasn't from my mother.

Now listen, Dad, since you
weren't here for the wedding--

Wasn't here for the wedding?

Why did ya get married
when I was up in Canada

on the construction job?

Well, you didn't
want us to wait.

You were gone for a month.

Got ya all moved in.

Here you are.

That's for you.

What is it?

Well, I got ya
a little present.

How come you
bought me a present?

No special reason.

I just thought I'd
get you something.

What are you trying to do,
butter me up for a loan?

Now Dad, stop asking silly
questions and open it.

I didn't know what
your brand was,

so I got you a bottle
of my favorite.

I never drink
that cheap liquor.

It's not booze, it's cologne.

And what makes you
think I need cologne?

Nothing personal.

I wasn't meaning to imply that
you need cologne, or anything.

Is this stuff any good?

If my dad bought it,
it's gotta be good.

Well, at least it'll
keep the mosquitoes away.

Dad, I think it was very nice
of Danny to buy you a gift.

Yes, I suppose you're right.

I shouldn't look a
gift horse in the nose.

Dad.

What about Linda?

When do I get to see her?

Well, she should
be awake by now.

Why don't you go upstairs
and surprise her?

That's a good idea.

Through there, and the
first door on the left.

Yeah.

Well, I'd say everything
is going along just fine,

wouldn't you?

Just fine.

Yes.

It certainly is just fine.

Yeah.

Of course, he's kind of
tired after the long drive,

but I think you two are going
to get along very nicely.

Yeah.

Well, he didn't exactly
throw his arms around me,

or anything, but
it's like you say,

he's tired from that long ride.

I think he likes me.

Oh, of course he does.

Yeah.

There's so much traffic
between here and Albany.

Yeah, that's a long drive, and
the guy seems to get irritable.

He likes me.

Oh, sure he does.

After he has an
hour or two of rest,

why, you two will
be like old pals.

That's right.

That's right.

It's a long drive from Albany.

He likes me, all right.

He's just tired.

Yeah.

It's a long drive.

And lots of traffic.

Plenty irritable.

Daddy?

What?

Why does he hate you?

Now, you lie still, baby.

Give me a pin, sweetheart.

I'll do it.

You don't know how.

Is that so?

I'd like to have a nickel
for every one I put on you.

And your mother, too.

Ah, there she is.

And I can get her
another bottle.

Oh, no.

You give her another bottle,
and we'll have to go all

over this thing again, here.

It's time for her
to go to sleep.

She can't go to sleep.

Why not?

You have to read
her a story first.

Read her a story?

All right, I'll read
her a story, honey.

Come here.

Come on over.

Read this story, huh?

Who killed Cock Robin?

I, said the sparrow,
with my bow and arrow.

I killed Cock Robin.

Hm.

The stories they write for kids.

Who saw him die?

I, said the magpie,
with my little eye.

I saw him die.

Who tolled the bell?

I, said the bull.

You don't have to
read anymore, Grandpa.

She's asleep.

Because I can pull?

I'll toll the bell.

That's enough, Grandpa.

She's asleep.

I know, I know.

But-- I want to find out why
the sparrow killed Cock Robin.

Daddy!

Yeah, sweetheart?

Grandpa's reading
a story to my baby.

He was reading a
story to your baby?

What kind of a story?

A murder mystery.

What else?

I'll put the children
to bed, Danny,

while, uh, you two
pour some coffee.

That way you can both
get better acquainted.

Why don't I put the
children to bed, and then you

two could get better acquainted?

Well, we've known each
other for a long time.

Come on.

Goodnight, Grandpa.

Goodnight, Daddy.

Goodnight, son.

RUSTY: Goodnight, Grandpa.

Goodnight.

Well, here you are, pop.

Dad?

Sir?

That was a wonderful
dinner, wasn't it?

I gotta say that this daughter
of yours really can cook.

Yep.

She'll sure make a good wife
when the right man comes along.

It got-- it got
in the wrong pipe.

Say, it looks like the
Cleveland Browns is here.

I mean, they got
a real good club.

They're well stacked
in every department.

Great line, wonderful backfield.

Good passing.

I think they'll walk off
with the eastern division.

Don't you?

They haven't got a chance.

That's what I was saying.

They haven't got a chance.

Hey, uh, did you ever meet
that doctor Kathy went with?

Fella named Kevin Maguire?

No, I never did.

Ah, fine young man.

You know, he and Kathy were
pretty thick there for a while.

Thought sure she was
going to marry him.

I guess, uh, I got there
first with the most.

The most what?

That's a funny line.

The most what.

You know, I was
awfully fond of Kevin.

He took out my
appendix, you know?

Didn't charge me a
cent for it, either.

Pittsburgh's got a nice team.

Why, this Kevin, he could
do just about anything.

Fish, hunt, trap-- and
a good doctor, too.

I can't understand Kathy.

A man like that, and she goes
off and-- what kind of work

do you do?

Me?

I'm a-- I'm a night
club performer.

Didn't Kathy tell you?

Yeah, she told me, but, uh,
just what does that mean,

uh-- are you a singing waiter?

No.

I'm not a singing waiter.

I'm an entertainer.

And a pretty good one, if
you'll forgive my immodesty.

I sing, do monologues.

Tell jokes.

Make people laugh.

You know.

You make people laugh?

Of course.

Make 'em laugh quite a
bit, as a matter of fact.

Wel, yeah, but, uh, then
they all have been drinking.

No.

We have a very high class
clientele, come to our club.

Real nice people.

Look, why don't you, uh, come
down to the club some night,

and, uh, watch me perform?

Then you'll know what I can do.

Not me.

I haven't in a
saloon for 25 years.

You want want to see what
you do, show it to me here.

Well, I-- I couldn't
do my material here.

I mean, uh, living room.

I--

Well, what's the matter?

Aren't the stories fit to
be told in your own home?

Oh, sure.

I do a very clean act.

But, uh-- well,
you see, what I do,

uh-- well, what I do is, uh--

Well, what do you do?

Look, I walk out,
I walk out, and I

say, uh, like, good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

Then I go into one
of my stock jokes,

and I got a pretty good
stock of stock jokes.

Like the one about the-- parrot.

The parrot that speaks all
the different languages.

It's a story about
a fella's in Europe,

and looking for a unique gift,
or a present for his mother.

So he runs across this
parrot, a very valuable bird.

Speaks seven
different languages.

So he ships the parrot off
to the states, a present

to his mom.

When he gets back
home to America,

he dashes over to see his
mother, and he says, Mom,

how did you enjoy
the parrot I sent ya?

And she says, ah,
it was delicious.

So he says, Mom-- Mom, how
could you eat that parrot?

She said, very easy.

With onions and potatoes.

He says, no, Mom, I
mean, how could you bring

yourself to cook that bird?

You realize that
parrot could speak

seven different languages?

And his mother said, so why
didn't it say something?

Well, why didn't it?

What else do you do?

Look, uh, when I tell
that story in a nightclub,

people get hysterical.

Well, I suppose when
people are all tanked up,

they laugh at anything.

No, it isn't that at all.

Look, it's hard for me to
show you kind of work I do.

If you just come down
to the club some night,

you'll see for yourself.

Well, personally, I like
to spend my spare time

with a fly rod in
my hand, fishing

with a man like Kevin Maguire.

Dad, I hate to break
this up, but, uh, Linda

just won't go to sleep
until you come up

and say goodnight to her.

Well, it'll be a pleasure.

All right.

Well, how are you
two getting along?

Who, us?

He's still tired from the drive.

Found his weakness, though.
Fishing.

Oh, of course.

He loves it.

It's his favorite pastime.

Don't look now, kid, but
it's just become mine, too.

Danny, you don't know
anything about fishing.

I know.

That's why I'm going
down to the newstand

to pick up every back issue of
Fisherman Magazine I can find.

Oh, honey.

By morning I intend
to be an authority

on the subject of fishing.

You mean you'd go to
all that trouble just

to get my father to like you?

That's not all.

If this doesn't work,
I'm going to get

a do it yourself medical kit
and take out his adenoids, free.

It's 4:00.

Ask me something about fishing.

Why don't you get some sleep?

I will, I will.

Now come on, ask me
something about fishing.

All right.

What sort of a question?

Something technical.

Ask me-- ask me
about striped bass.

All right.

How are they?

They're fine, and
they send their love.

What kind of a question is that?

How are they?

Just say, how
about striped bass?

Well, how about striped bass?

There is no closed
season on striped bass.

They may be taken
in the early summer

months in the coastal
regions by trolling

with spinners and plugs.

Stripers, as they are known
to the crafty anglers who

pursue them, have been
known to reach 45 pounds.

You will have fun matching
wits with the elusive striper.

Fishing is my favorite sport.

That's news to me.

It's news to me, too.

To tell ya the truth, son,
I-- I haven't done much fishing

since you were born.

This is over 10 years ago
when I did a lot of fishing.

A lot of fishing.

Where'd you do your
fishing, in Central Park,

with a pool cue
and a safety pin?

Oh, honey, your
father's a scream.

I gotta write down
all the quips he

says, because
really, I could make

a whole routine out of 'em.

Uh, Dad, maybe
you and Danny could

go fishing together sometime?

Oh, I'd like that.

Out in the fresh air, especially
up in the north woods,

hooked onto a fighting sailfish.

Sailfish in the north woods?

What's the matter?

Don't they have them
in the north woods?

Not unless they moved
the ocean up there.

Sailfish are only
caught in saltwater.

Oh, I don't know.

You get one with
a pretty big sail,

it could get blown
off its course.

Did you, uh-- did you
say something, honey?

No, dear.

Well, why don't you?

Oh, yes.

Yes, what about striped bass?

You're interested
in striped bass, too?

A fella stopped me on
the street the other day,

and asked me about striped bass.

And I said to him, I said,
well, Sam, uh, striped bass, eh?

There's no closed season
on striped bass, I said.

I said, uh-- uh, they can be
taken in the coastal regions

by, uh, trolling with
spinners and plugs.

Gee, Dad, You sound like
you really know your stuff.

Aw--

Yes, uh, we may
have another fishing

expert in the family, Dad.

My dad's good at everything.

Well, I wouldn't say that.

Yeah, I'll bet.

You like trout fishing?

Trout fishing?

I love trout fishing.

Trout fishing,
probably the favorite

of fishermen the world over.

It's the rainbow trout.

I mean, here is an
adversary worthy of the most

skillful of the Isaac Waltons.

What kind of bait do you use?

What?

For trout?

Usual.

Standard.

Regulation trout bait.

Guess you, uh, use
live bait, then?

Oh, of course.

We always use live bait.

Probably, uh, use marlin, then?

Live marlin?

Oh, yeah.

That's--

Yeah.

It's easy to see
you're a fisherman.

Only an expert could
use a 200 pound marlin

to catch a 2 pound trout.

You don't know
anything about fishing!

He does, too!

All right, Rus.

And if he wants to
catch trout with marlin,

it's cause he likes
to do it the hard way.

All right.

Sailfish in the north woods.

Marlin for bait.

Some fisherman.

Maybe I'd better go see if
Linda's awakened from her nap.

Daddy?

Yeah?

Tell me more about
the striped bass.

You know a lot about 'em.

I wish I know more
about my father in law.

Daddy?

What?

Are you afraid of him?

Afraid of him?

Don't be silly.

Well, then how come you let
him push you around like that?

Rusty, he's Kathy's father.

I gotta try to get
along with him.

When Tubby Anderson
pushed me around,

you told me to stand up to him.

It's different.

Mr. Daly is older than I am.

I've gotta respect his age.

Tubby Anderson is two
years older than I am.

Yes.

I could have stood
there respecting his age,

and got my block knocked off.

Rusty, it's not the same.

Mr. Daly is Kathy's father.

Well, you said don't let
anybody push you around,

no matter who it says.

That's what you said.

I said.

What's the difference
what I said?

Why do you have to pay
attention to what I say?

Be-- because you're my father,
and I do what you tell me.

And I always will
do what you tell me,

even if you are
afraid of Mr. Daly.

Rus--

Gal darn it, Daddy.

You're always saying you
wanna be proud of me.

Don't you think I want
to be proud of you?

Hey.

Rus?

Mr. Daly!

Well, look who's here,
Nanook of the north.

Why don't you knock it
off, you big cornball?

What?

You heard me.

Look, I'm gettin' sick and tired
of carrying around your bum

weight, you old windbag.

-Windbag?
-Windbag.

That's right.

And if you weren't
Kathy's father,

and a miserable old man, I'd
rap you right in your snoot.

-Oh, you would, would ya?
-Danny, stop.

Yes I would.

I don't let anybody push me
around, brother, anybody,

especially in my own home.

Danny, you're
talking to my father.

Well, it's a cinch I'm
not talking to mine.

I wouldn't have
him for a father.

Look, I've been bending over
backwards trying to please you,

but this is as far as I bend.

Now, either you start
acting like a gentleman,

or pack your bags
and get outta here.

Aw, what a tip.

Hey, Dan, come over here.

Come on.

Come over here.

Come on, come over and try that.

Go on, try it.

Whip it around a
couple of times.

With your wrist.

How does it feel?

Like a long flyswatter.

When I get through with
you, you'll know how

to handle one of those things.

You know, after all, when
we go fishing together,

I want you to look
like an expert.

Why, you-- you, you did it.

You did it again.

Why, if I didn't have him
signed, sealed, and delivered,

you'd have chased him away.
-Now, now--

-Why, you big fake.
-Now--

You liked him all the time.

Honey, honey, I just wanted
to find out what kind of a man

you married.

I must admit that
Danny, old boy,

he had me worried
there for awhile,

the way he kept laughing and
smiling at all of my insults.

Why, if a man had spoke to
me that way I spoke to you,

I'd have thrown
him out on his ear.

Don't think I
didn't want to, kid.

Kathy, you married
yourself a man.

A better man than
Kevin Maguire?

Kevin Maguire?

That big mouth?

He talks so much, he
scares the fish away.

Gee, Grandpa,
you're a great guy.

Now Danny, I want you to come
and visit as soon as you can.

I know a little out
of the way stream

where the trout are so
anxious to be caught,

they even give you a
recipe for how to cook 'em.

And maybe one of these nights I
can come down and hear you sing

to the drunks in the saloon.

Supper clubs.

Well, they're saloons to me.

Yeah?

Let me tell you something,
you old hydrated weasel.

If you ever came down to the
classy club where I work,

you couldn't get
past the front door.

Oh, I couldn't, huh?

No, you couldn't, huh.

Now, mind your talk, or
I'll pin your ears back.

Go on, throw one.

You'll wind up
right on the floor.

Go ahead.

Aw, Danny.

I'm going to miss ya, boy.

Me too, pop.

Hurry back, hear?

Take care of yourself.

Bye, Dad.

Hey, hey, hey.

You're forgetting
something, aren't ya?

I'm not forgetting it.

From me to you.