Original subtitles

Hi, love.

Is my breakfast ready, honey?

No, it is not.

It's 11 o'clock.

What have you been doing all morning?

What have I been doing all morning?

Oh, not a thing.

Louise didn't show up this morning,

so I've only fixed the children's breakfast,

gotten them off to school, cleaned, vacuumed, have

everything spotless downstairs.

And now I've got to hurry up and change

the beds before the laundry man gets here.

Well, everything's not so spotless.

The ashtray's full.

Oh.

Why, you're perfectly right, Mr. Williams.

It is full.

There.

Now it's empty.

What's the matter?

You nuts or something?

What's the matter with you?

What brought all this on?

You know, you husbands never notice what

a woman does around the house.

You only notice what they don't do.

Yeah, we husbands, we notice what

you women do around the house.

Well, what is it with you housewives?

You want to take a bow for doing your work?

Well, you take a bow for doing yours, don't you?

That's different. It's my business.

I'm an entertainer.

I'm supposed to take bows.

Well, I'm a homemaker, and I like to know

that I'm appreciated too.

You're appreciated.

For instance, I make a great pot roast.

Who ever applauds a pot roast?

Well, if that's all that's bothering you,

next time you make pot roast, I promise

I will applaud the pot roast.

Not only that, I'll yell bravo for the potato pancakes,

all right?

It may be funny to you, Mr. Williams,

but it's not funny to a housewife.

Oh, boy, how I'd like to get up on a stage and be applauded.

You on a stage?

Honey, what kind of an act could you do with a pot roast?

For your information, Mr. Williams,

I wasn't always a household drudge.

I know. I know.

I know.

You weren't always a household drudge.

You were a nurse.

I sang with a band once.

No kidding.

What band?

Dr. Hopkins and His Hypodermic Four?

Because after all, we can't all be

a big night club star like Danny Williams

with a 20-piece orchestra.

But we were pretty good.

We got our share of applause.

The kids thought I was damn good.

I bet you were too, for high school kids.

I'd say you were.

What do you mean by that crack?

Holy Toledo.

Look, I don't mean anything by any crack.

I don't know what brought all this on, baby,

but you should be a very, very happy woman.

You're beautiful.

You got a nice home and three great kids

and a husband who adores you.

That ought to be plenty for any gal.

Now, you want to get up on the stage and be applauded?

Now, isn't that ridiculous?

To begin with, if you ever got up

in front of a strange audience, you know what'd happen to you?

You'd get the puckers.

The what?

The puckers.

The puckers?

Yeah, I've seen it happen to a lot of these housewives who

have talent.

I remember one time, Charlie Johnson's wife-- now,

here's a gal could really sing, at home, at a house party.

She was great.

She used to sing (SINGING) don't say goodbye, say so long.

(SPEAKING) And she really gave out, you know?

She moved.

So she's at the Copa Cabana one night and I'm playing there.

I see her in the audience, and I figure I'll

give this kid a big thrill.

I'll call her up on the nightclub floor

so she can sing for a professional audience.

Now, this same woman who sang with the broad flourishes

walked out on that nightclub floor,

took one look at the audience, and boing!

It happened.

What happened?

DANNY: The puckers.

Puckers?

(SINGING WITH A TIGHT MOUTH) Don't say goodbye, say so long.

As long as I live, I'll be in love with you.

Those face muscles just puckered right up,

and sh couldn't go on.

And believe me, the same thing'd happen to you.

Well, don't worry.

You're not going to have a chance to find out.

I'll never get on a stage anyway.

Now, you're talking like the drudge I love.

Well, I'd better go fix your breakfast.

No, don't bother, sweetheart.

I'm late for the studio.

I'll have a cup of coffee with Benny.

OK.

I'll see you tonight, sweetheart.

All right.

TERRY: Oh, hi, Daddy.

Hi, kids.

PEGGY: Hi, Mr. Williams.

Hello, Peggy. TERRY: Daddy?

-Yeah? -Are you going out?

Yeah, I got some business downtown, dear.

Oh, but we need some advice.

What kind of advice?

Well, you see, Peggy and I are cochairmen of our school dance.

And well, we have a band and all, but we need a singer.

Yeah, and we thought maybe you could help us find somebody.

Yeah.

We've got plenty of money to pay for a good singer.

Oh?

$63.

$63?

Wow, with that, we should be able to get almost anybody.

Who do you want? Frank Sinatra?

Bing Crosby? Dinah Shore?

Peggy Lee?

Daddy, we know we can't get anybody like that.

We mean just some good, solid band singer.

OK.

I'm going down to the recording studio this morning,

and I'll scrounge among the musicians,

see what I can find, OK?

But don't expect too much for $63, all right?

Gee, thanks, Mr. Williams.

Not at all.

Goodbye, you old drudge.

I don't think your father was too optimistic, do you?

No.

What was this about a band singer?

Oh, well, we have to get a singer for our school dance.

Oh, a singer.

TERRY: You don't suppose we could

get by on just a band, do you?

PEGGY: Golly, no.

What good is a band without a singer?

(SINGING) It had to be you.

It had to be you.

Say, how about--

(SINGING) I wandered around, finally found somebody who--

We should have started looking sooner.

(SINGING) Could make me be blue.

It's so late now.

I know.

(SINGING) Could make me be true.

(SINGING) And even be glad just to be sad thinking of you.

Some others I've seen might never be mean,

might never cross or try to be--

-Kathy. -Yes.

Kathy.

Do you mind?

It's hard to think while you're singing.

Singing?

Singing.

Kathy, was that you singing just now?

Who, me singing?

Oh, I guess it was.

I'm sorry.

Well, gee, I thought it was a record.

Yeah.

Kathy, you're great.

I never knew you could sing.

Well, I can't, not anymore.

Not since I sang with the band.

A band?

Kathy, wait.

Yes?

You mean you really sang with the band?

I mean, for money.

Uh, yes.

Oh, wait.

Maybe you could help us out.

Help you out?

Out of what, dear?

The singer, for our school dance.

We just told you we were looking for one.

Oh, yes.

You did, of course.

Gee, you'd be a lifesaver if you'd do it for us.

Oh, I don't really think I could.

Oh, please.

Oh, Kathy, you've got to.

Why, you'd be the answer to our prayers.

We're in a terrible spot.

Oh, well, I haven't got a thing to wear.

PEGGY: We could find something.

Yeah.

Well, if I hurry and rush down to ,

maybe I could pick up that dress I've had my eye on.

Sure.

Oh, you will?

Oh, yes, I-- this is the most exciting thing

that has happened in years.

I'll do it.

We can pay $63, too.

Oh, well, don't worry about the money.

Forget all about that.

The puckers.

I'll show him.

You'll show who what?

Oh, nothing.

Well, it's a deal.

I will sing at your dance.

Oh, wonderful.

Dance?

What dance, Kathy?

Can I go and hear your sing, Mommy?

Oh, children, there's one thing I want to make sure of.

Don't let your father know anything about this.

Well, why not?

Well, I-- I kind of want to surprise him.

So we'll keep it our own little secret, huh?

All right.

I don't know, Kathy.

What do you mean?

Well, I'd like to keep your secret,

but you know what a blabber mouth I am.

What?

But of course, $0.50 might un-blabber me.

Rusty Williams.

$0.35?

$0.30?

$0.25, and that's my last bribe.

Terry, I think the price is right.

All right.

We owe you a quarter.

All right.

But that's just for today.

Tomorrow, we'll have to renegotiate.

Mommy?

Yes, darling.

I'm a blabbermouth too.

OK.

I owe you a dime.

Nice going, kid.

You've just become an assistant blabbermouth.

(SINGING) It was the sigh--

(SINGING) It was the sigh--

(SINGING) Heard round--

(SINGING) Heard round--

(SINGING) The world.

I never knew--

(SINGING) I never knew--

(SINGING) A bluer sensation.

It was a tango for one.

And now that tango is done.

But still, I crave for the thrill,

for the touch, for the taste of the kiss that rocked the world.

It was the sigh heard round the world.

I never knew a bluer sensation.

It was a tango for one.

And now that tango is done.

But still I crave for the thrill,

for the touch, for the taste of the kiss that rocked the world.

That sounded all right to me.

How was it for you, Bob?

BOB: Just great, Dinah. -Good.

BOB: That'll be a print.

Good.

BOB: Take five, boys.

DANNY: Hey, Dinah.

Oh, Danny.

DANNY: Hello, sweetheart.

-Hi. -How are you?

How's George?

Just wonderful.

Gee, you look great.

I feel won-- listen, I've been meaning to call you.

I've got someone I wanna talk to you about.

Do you got a minute? -Talk for me?

Yeah.

Yeah, but I'm gonna talk to some of the boys in the band.

I got to run an errand for my daughter.

Oh, well, that's what I wanna talk to you about.

My daughter?

No, my daughter, Missy.

What about her?

Well, um, you see, her Brownie troop

is having their annual fish fry, and they

need a comedian to sort of, you know, steer things properly.

And the kids have raised $27.34.

You know any comedian that would do it for $27.34?

And all the fish you can eat.

This is incredible.

You know, if this ever happened in the movies or television,

people wouldn't believe it.

No, what?

I'm on a similar errand for my daughter?

Oh, you're kidding.

Yeah, they got a dance.

Their little high school's got a dance for Friday night.

And they're looking for a girl singer for-- they got $63.

Our kids expect so much of us, don't they?

Yeah.

You know, it's like just because we're in show business we know

everybody, can do everything.

Where in the world can I find a comic that can work for $27.34?

Yeah, and where could I find a singer for $63?

Shake.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Yes, sir.

You will do it?

I will do it.

Oh, that's wonderful.

I want you to meet your $63 singer.

And I happen to be a $27.34 fish fry comic, ma'am.

Would you stop by the house?

I just want you to see Terry's face when I tell her you're

going to be the girl singing.

Oh, listen, I'd love to, but you gotta stop by my house

so I can tell Missy, will you?

-Very happy to. -Oh, great.

Fine. Where are your things?

-Let me get my things over here. -OK.

Hey, I-- I've been thinking, Dinah.

Yeah?

It's a little, uh-- a little unfair, you know?

What?

Well, I mean you're getting 63 bucks to sing.

I'm only getting $27.34 for the fish fry.

Can I help it if you comedians work cheap?

We'd better call Gladys right away and tell her

we found a singer.

She has to start making those posters.

Yeah, you'd better get her.

Oh, my gosh, Terry.

I just thought of something.

What?

We just asked your father to find a singer for us.

Suppose he's found one.

Believe me, if I know my father,

he's forgotten all about it.

Besides, we're certainly not going to disappoint Kathy.

Why, she's gone out and bought a new dress and everything.

If he has got somebody else, we'll just tell him that we've

made other arrangements.

Right.

No matter how good she is or anything.

Promise is a promise.

Right.

And besides, whoever he got on such short notice

wouldn't be much good anyway.

Right.

You know, I've never seen Kathy so excited before.

Yeah, wasn't she?

Oh, hi.

Gladys?

Well, this is Peggy.

We found a singer.

Well, her name is-- wait a minute.

Golly, we told your mother we'd keep it a secret.

That's right.

We'll use her maiden name.

Kathy O'Hara.

Kathy O'Hara.

Gladys, her name is Kathy O'Hara.

What do you mean, you've never heard of her?

Honestly, well, who did you expect for $63?

Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby?

Or-- Dinah Shore!

What did I tell you?

Hi, kids.

This is my daughter, Terry.

Hi, Terry.

Her friend, Peggy Conroy.

Hi, Peggy.

Well, soon as the shock is over with, you can say hello.

Wait till you hear the rest of it.

This'll knock you right off your feet.

Who do you think is gonna sing at the dance Friday?

The one and only.

Huh?

Pretty good, huh?

You-- you didn't hear me.

I said Dinah Shore is gonna sing for $63

at the high school dance.

Sure knocked them off their feet, didn't I?

What's the matter with you two?

Look, eh, this is the apartment where I live?

You are my daughter, right?

And you're my daughter's friend.

Let me see now.

Yeah, you asked me to get you a girl singer, right?

I only got you the top vocalist in the whole United

States of America, right?

Well--

Now, let's have the cheers of joy

and the hugs of appreciation, shall we?

Well, Daddy, we appreciate it--

Well, I should say so.

It's just that well, Miss Shore isn't-- she isn't exactly

what we had in mind.

That's it, Mr. Williams.

You see, she's not the type.

She's not the type?

Sit down.

Sit down, both of you.

She's not the type.

What's the matter with you two?

Well, you see, Mr. Williams, we weren't figuring on anyone

as-- expensive as Ms. Shore.

Yeah, .

Oh, well, if it's the $63 that's bothering you,

I'll cut it down to $62.

$58?

$27.34?

Car fare, one way.

Oh, Dinah, that's silly.

You don't have to cut the price.

You're worth the whole $63.

Gee, thanks.

That's not what I meant.

You see, Mr. Williams, Miss Shore sings ballads.

Yeah, ballads.

-Yeah, ballads, that's right. -Yeah.

Well?

And we were sort of looking for someone

who sings a little faster. -Faster.

That's it.

Oh, I can sing faster.

Go sit down at the piano.

Play, uh-- "Goody, Goody"

"Goody, Goody."

I'm going to sing faster than anybody you ever saw.

(SINGING) So you met someone who set you back on your heels.

Goody, goody.

So you met someone and now you know how it feels.

Goody, goody.

So you gave them your heart too, just as I gave mine to you.

And--

(SPEAKING) Nothing, huh?

Wait a minute.

This is silly.

You don't have to audition for them.

Look, this is Dinah Shore.

Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Now, they have a right to get whatever

they want for their dance.

Now, maybe you'd like the kind of songs they're reviving now

with a new kind of orchestration or arrangement,

like maybe-- (SINGING) I'm gonna sit right down

and write myself a letter.

(SINGING) Papaya, papaya.

(SINGING) And make believe it came from you.

(SINGING) Papaya, papaya.

(SINGING) I'm gonna write words of--

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no.

Well, I wish I was dead.

You got company.

I can't understand it.

You have a lot of nerve, you know that?

A couple of teenagers passing judgment on a great star

like Dinah Shore?

Oh, Danny.

Well, you know what I had to go through it to get her?

I have agreed to tell jokes at a fish fry.

For $27.34.

And all the fish you can eat.

All right.

Well, I'm sorry.

We just can't use her.

I-- I can't help it.

Good bye, Gladys.

Well, that's what I always do, leave them laughing.

Gee, Dinah, I'm sorry.

I'm so-- I'm so embarrassed, I could-- I could dig a hole

and crawl into it.

Well, while you're digging, make it big enough for two.

You want me to drop you off at home?

Yeah, I guess you can do that.

How do you like that?

. $63.

$63, they get Dinah Shaw.

-Hey, do me a favor, will you? -Huh?

Don't let this get back to the people at Chevrolet.

Hello, darling.

Hi.

How do you like it?

It's nice.

Where's Terry?

She's in her room. What's the matter?

Something wrong? -I'll say something's wrong.

Didn't they ask me to get them a girl singer for the dance

Friday night? -Yeah.

I only got them Dinah Shore, that's all.

You got them Dinah Shore?

DANNY: Yeah.

For the dance?

Mmhm, and miss high and mighty turned her down.

How do you like that? -Turned her down?

Yeah, she and Peggy made Dinah audition like some third rate

singer right here in our home.

I was never so embarrassed in my whole life.

My kid's not getting away with it.

She's going to be punished.

She may consider herself grounded for one month as

of now, and I'm telling her so.

Danny, wait.

What?

Well, I think that I know why they turned her down.

You do?

Why?

Well, they-- they got someone else?

Yeah, who?

Oh, one of the mothers.

Oh, brother. A mother.

For one of the mothers, they turned down Dinah Shore?

Oh, well, they-- they made a promise.

And I'm sure they're trying to keep it.

That poor kid.

They'd probably give their eye teeth to have Dinah Shore.

They're just being loyal.

They're wonderful kids.

You don't know how wonderful.

Hmm.

Being loyal, huh?

How do you like that?

Danny, can you get Dinah back?

Sure I can get her back.

I made a deal to sing at a fish fry for $27.34.

She was gonna sing at the dance.

It was like a little exchange proposition.

Well, what about this mother?

This--

Well, I know her.

And I'm sure if I'd tell her about this, she'll bow out.

Why, she wouldn't want to deprive

the children of a chance to have a big star like Dinah Shore.

Well, if you think you can talk her out of it,

you do it right away.

And I'll run over and see that Dinah hasn't made other plans.

See you later.

(SINGING) I'll never say never again, again,

cause here I am in love again, head over

heels in love again with you.

I'll never say never kiss you again, cause here

I am kissing you again.

That's just the thing I said I'd never do.

I walked away and said good bye.

I was hasty, wasn't I?

I missed you so, I thought I'd die.

But it's all over now, throw my hat at the sky.

I'll never say never again again,

cause here I am in love again, head over heels in love

again with you.

Hey, I'll never say never again again,

cause here I am in love again, with the same sweet you.

Thank you.

But it takes the unselfish efforts

of the people behind the scenes that can make

an evening like this possible.

So I wish to thank Mary Saunders, who took care

of the cloak room; Agnes Henry, our ticket chairman;

Julie Stander, who was in charge of decorations;

and my wonderful cochairman, Peggy Conroy;

and above all, I wish to thank my mother, Kathy Williams,

for her contribution to this evening.

And now, I would like to read the financial report.

Well, what does she mean, your contribution?

What did you do?

Oh, I didn't do anything, really.

What do you mean, you didn't do anything?

You must have done something.

She just thanked you.

Well, I-- I just helped out with a few little things.

Yeah, like stepping aside so the kids could get to hear

Dinah Shore instead of her.

What?

Oh, Kathy, you were supposed to sing here tonight.

Oh, Rusty.

You are a blabbermouth.

No, I'm not.

My bribe ran out yesterday, and you didn't pick up my option.

Honey, you-- you mean you were the mother that-- of course.

How stupid could I be?

Oh, sweetheart.

gee, I-- I'm sorry, honey.

I should've known, but I was so angry with the kids that I

didn't-- hey, you-- you really meant

it when you said you want to get up on a stage and be applauded.

Oh, Kathy, this was going to be your big night,

and I ruined it.

Oh, you didn't ruin. it.

You just gave the kids the most wonderful

evening they've ever had.

Well, the evening's not over yet.

You're going to go on right now.

Come on.

Oh, I couldn't, really.

Yes, you could.

Oh, no, she'd better not.

And why not?

Honey, it-- it's like I told you, when you face strangers,

you'll get the puckers.

The puckers, huh?

Yeah.

That does it.

Dinah, tell the orchestra to play "It Had To Be You" in B.

B flat.

Oh, no.

Gentlemen, if you please.

Terry, excuse me just a minute, will you?

Of course.

I have a very exciting thing I want

to talk to everybody about.

It seems that we have a very shining

new talent, undiscovered, right under our very noses.

One of the mothers has an excellent, beautiful singing

voice, and we've just discovered it.

I think it's gonna be a big thrill for you,

so I want to give a big hand, singing for the first time,

"It Had To Be You," Kathy Williams.

Oh!