All language subtitles for The.Danny.Thomas.Show.S05E04.The.Dinah.Shore.show.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-QOQ_track3_[eng]

Hi, love.

Is my breakfast ready, honey?

No, it is not.

It's 11 o'clock.

What have you been
doing all morning?

What have I been
doing all morning?

Oh, not a thing.

Louise didn't show
up this morning,

so I've only fixed the
children's breakfast,

gotten them off to school,
cleaned, vacuumed, have

everything spotless downstairs.

And now I've got to
hurry up and change

the beds before the
laundry man gets here.

Well, everything's
not so spotless.

The ashtray's full.

Oh.

Why, you're perfectly
right, Mr. Williams.

It is full.

There.

Now it's empty.

What's the matter?

You nuts or something?

What's the matter with you?

What brought all this on?

You know, you husbands
never notice what

a woman does around the house.

You only notice
what they don't do.

Yeah, we husbands,
we notice what

you women do around the house.

Well, what is it
with you housewives?

You want to take a bow
for doing your work?

Well, you take a bow for
doing yours, don't you?

That's different.
It's my business.

I'm an entertainer.

I'm supposed to take bows.

Well, I'm a homemaker,
and I like to know

that I'm appreciated too.

You're appreciated.

For instance, I make
a great pot roast.

Who ever applauds a pot roast?

Well, if that's all
that's bothering you,

next time you make
pot roast, I promise

I will applaud the pot roast.

Not only that, I'll yell
bravo for the potato pancakes,

all right?

It may be funny to
you, Mr. Williams,

but it's not funny
to a housewife.

Oh, boy, how I'd like to get
up on a stage and be applauded.

You on a stage?

Honey, what kind of an act
could you do with a pot roast?

For your information,
Mr. Williams,

I wasn't always a
household drudge.

I know.
I know.

I know.

You weren't always
a household drudge.

You were a nurse.

I sang with a band once.

No kidding.

What band?

Dr. Hopkins and His
Hypodermic Four?

Because after all,
we can't all be

a big night club star
like Danny Williams

with a 20-piece orchestra.

But we were pretty good.

We got our share of applause.

The kids thought
I was damn good.

I bet you were too,
for high school kids.

I'd say you were.

What do you mean by that crack?

Holy Toledo.

Look, I don't mean
anything by any crack.

I don't know what brought
all this on, baby,

but you should be a
very, very happy woman.

You're beautiful.

You got a nice home
and three great kids

and a husband who adores you.

That ought to be
plenty for any gal.

Now, you want to get up on
the stage and be applauded?

Now, isn't that ridiculous?

To begin with, if
you ever got up

in front of a strange audience,
you know what'd happen to you?

You'd get the puckers.

The what?

The puckers.

The puckers?

Yeah, I've seen it happen to
a lot of these housewives who

have talent.

I remember one time, Charlie
Johnson's wife-- now,

here's a gal could really sing,
at home, at a house party.

She was great.

She used to sing (SINGING)
don't say goodbye, say so long.

(SPEAKING) And she really
gave out, you know?

She moved.

So she's at the Copa Cabana one
night and I'm playing there.

I see her in the audience,
and I figure I'll

give this kid a big thrill.

I'll call her up on
the nightclub floor

so she can sing for a
professional audience.

Now, this same woman who sang
with the broad flourishes

walked out on that
nightclub floor,

took one look at the
audience, and boing!

It happened.

What happened?

DANNY: The puckers.

Puckers?

(SINGING WITH A TIGHT MOUTH)
Don't say goodbye, say so long.

As long as I live, I'll
be in love with you.

Those face muscles
just puckered right up,

and sh couldn't go on.

And believe me, the same
thing'd happen to you.

Well, don't worry.

You're not going to have
a chance to find out.

I'll never get on
a stage anyway.

Now, you're talking
like the drudge I love.

Well, I'd better go
fix your breakfast.

No, don't bother, sweetheart.

I'm late for the studio.

I'll have a cup of
coffee with Benny.

OK.

I'll see you
tonight, sweetheart.

All right.

TERRY: Oh, hi, Daddy.

Hi, kids.

PEGGY: Hi, Mr. Williams.

Hello, Peggy.
TERRY: Daddy?

-Yeah?
-Are you going out?

Yeah, I got some
business downtown, dear.

Oh, but we need some advice.

What kind of advice?

Well, you see, Peggy and I are
cochairmen of our school dance.

And well, we have a band and
all, but we need a singer.

Yeah, and we thought maybe you
could help us find somebody.

Yeah.

We've got plenty of money
to pay for a good singer.

Oh?

$63.

$63?

Wow, with that, we should be
able to get almost anybody.

Who do you want?
Frank Sinatra?

Bing Crosby?
Dinah Shore?

Peggy Lee?

Daddy, we know we can't
get anybody like that.

We mean just some good,
solid band singer.

OK.

I'm going down to the
recording studio this morning,

and I'll scrounge
among the musicians,

see what I can find, OK?

But don't expect too
much for $63, all right?

Gee, thanks, Mr. Williams.

Not at all.

Goodbye, you old drudge.

I don't think your father
was too optimistic, do you?

No.

What was this
about a band singer?

Oh, well, we have to get a
singer for our school dance.

Oh, a singer.

TERRY: You don't
suppose we could

get by on just a band, do you?

PEGGY: Golly, no.

What good is a band
without a singer?

(SINGING) It had to be you.

It had to be you.

Say, how about--

(SINGING) I wandered around,
finally found somebody who--

We should have
started looking sooner.

(SINGING) Could
make me be blue.

It's so late now.

I know.

(SINGING) Could
make me be true.

(SINGING) And even be glad
just to be sad thinking of you.

Some others I've seen
might never be mean,

might never cross or try to be--

-Kathy.
-Yes.

Kathy.

Do you mind?

It's hard to think
while you're singing.

Singing?

Singing.

Kathy, was that you
singing just now?

Who, me singing?

Oh, I guess it was.

I'm sorry.

Well, gee, I thought
it was a record.

Yeah.

Kathy, you're great.

I never knew you could sing.

Well, I can't, not anymore.

Not since I sang with the band.

A band?

Kathy, wait.

Yes?

You mean you really
sang with the band?

I mean, for money.

Uh, yes.

Oh, wait.

Maybe you could help us out.

Help you out?

Out of what, dear?

The singer, for
our school dance.

We just told you we
were looking for one.

Oh, yes.

You did, of course.

Gee, you'd be a lifesaver
if you'd do it for us.

Oh, I don't really
think I could.

Oh, please.

Oh, Kathy, you've got to.

Why, you'd be the
answer to our prayers.

We're in a terrible spot.

Oh, well, I haven't
got a thing to wear.

PEGGY: We could find something.

Yeah.

Well, if I hurry and
rush down to ,

maybe I could pick up that
dress I've had my eye on.

Sure.

Oh, you will?

Oh, yes, I-- this is
the most exciting thing

that has happened in years.

I'll do it.

We can pay $63, too.

Oh, well, don't
worry about the money.

Forget all about that.

The puckers.

I'll show him.

You'll show who what?

Oh, nothing.

Well, it's a deal.

I will sing at your dance.

Oh, wonderful.

Dance?

What dance, Kathy?

Can I go and hear
your sing, Mommy?

Oh, children, there's one
thing I want to make sure of.

Don't let your father
know anything about this.

Well, why not?

Well, I-- I kind of
want to surprise him.

So we'll keep it our
own little secret, huh?

All right.

I don't know, Kathy.

What do you mean?

Well, I'd like to
keep your secret,

but you know what a
blabber mouth I am.

What?

But of course, $0.50
might un-blabber me.

Rusty Williams.

$0.35?

$0.30?

$0.25, and that's my last bribe.

Terry, I think
the price is right.

All right.

We owe you a quarter.

All right.

But that's just for today.

Tomorrow, we'll
have to renegotiate.

Mommy?

Yes, darling.

I'm a blabbermouth too.

OK.

I owe you a dime.

Nice going, kid.

You've just become an
assistant blabbermouth.

(SINGING) It was the sigh--

(SINGING) It was the sigh--

(SINGING) Heard round--

(SINGING) Heard round--

(SINGING) The world.

I never knew--

(SINGING) I never knew--

(SINGING) A bluer sensation.

It was a tango for one.

And now that tango is done.

But still, I crave
for the thrill,

for the touch, for the taste of
the kiss that rocked the world.

It was the sigh heard
round the world.

I never knew a bluer sensation.

It was a tango for one.

And now that tango is done.

But still I crave
for the thrill,

for the touch, for the taste of
the kiss that rocked the world.

That sounded all right to me.

How was it for you, Bob?

BOB: Just great, Dinah.
-Good.

BOB: That'll be a print.

Good.

BOB: Take five, boys.

DANNY: Hey, Dinah.

Oh, Danny.

DANNY: Hello, sweetheart.

-Hi.
-How are you?

How's George?

Just wonderful.

Gee, you look great.

I feel won-- listen, I've
been meaning to call you.

I've got someone I
wanna talk to you about.

Do you got a minute?
-Talk for me?

Yeah.

Yeah, but I'm gonna talk to
some of the boys in the band.

I got to run an errand
for my daughter.

Oh, well, that's what I
wanna talk to you about.

My daughter?

No, my daughter, Missy.

What about her?

Well, um, you see,
her Brownie troop

is having their annual
fish fry, and they

need a comedian to sort of, you
know, steer things properly.

And the kids have raised $27.34.

You know any comedian that
would do it for $27.34?

And all the fish you can eat.

This is incredible.

You know, if this ever happened
in the movies or television,

people wouldn't believe it.

No, what?

I'm on a similar
errand for my daughter?

Oh, you're kidding.

Yeah, they got a dance.

Their little high school's
got a dance for Friday night.

And they're looking for a girl
singer for-- they got $63.

Our kids expect so
much of us, don't they?

Yeah.

You know, it's like just because
we're in show business we know

everybody, can do everything.

Where in the world can I find a
comic that can work for $27.34?

Yeah, and where could
I find a singer for $63?

Shake.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Yes, sir.

You will do it?

I will do it.

Oh, that's wonderful.

I want you to meet
your $63 singer.

And I happen to be a $27.34
fish fry comic, ma'am.

Would you stop by the house?

I just want you to see Terry's
face when I tell her you're

going to be the girl singing.

Oh, listen, I'd love to, but
you gotta stop by my house

so I can tell Missy, will you?

-Very happy to.
-Oh, great.

Fine.
Where are your things?

-Let me get my things over here.
-OK.

Hey, I-- I've been
thinking, Dinah.

Yeah?

It's a little, uh-- a
little unfair, you know?

What?

Well, I mean you're
getting 63 bucks to sing.

I'm only getting $27.34
for the fish fry.

Can I help it if you
comedians work cheap?

We'd better call Gladys
right away and tell her

we found a singer.

She has to start
making those posters.

Yeah, you'd better get her.

Oh, my gosh, Terry.

I just thought of something.

What?

We just asked your father
to find a singer for us.

Suppose he's found one.

Believe me, if
I know my father,

he's forgotten all about it.

Besides, we're certainly not
going to disappoint Kathy.

Why, she's gone out and bought
a new dress and everything.

If he has got somebody else,
we'll just tell him that we've

made other arrangements.

Right.

No matter how good
she is or anything.

Promise is a promise.

Right.

And besides, whoever he
got on such short notice

wouldn't be much good anyway.

Right.

You know, I've never seen
Kathy so excited before.

Yeah, wasn't she?

Oh, hi.

Gladys?

Well, this is Peggy.

We found a singer.

Well, her name
is-- wait a minute.

Golly, we told your mother
we'd keep it a secret.

That's right.

We'll use her maiden name.

Kathy O'Hara.

Kathy O'Hara.

Gladys, her name
is Kathy O'Hara.

What do you mean, you've
never heard of her?

Honestly, well, who
did you expect for $63?

Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby?

Or-- Dinah Shore!

What did I tell you?

Hi, kids.

This is my daughter, Terry.

Hi, Terry.

Her friend, Peggy Conroy.

Hi, Peggy.

Well, soon as the shock is
over with, you can say hello.

Wait till you hear
the rest of it.

This'll knock you
right off your feet.

Who do you think is gonna
sing at the dance Friday?

The one and only.

Huh?

Pretty good, huh?

You-- you didn't hear me.

I said Dinah Shore
is gonna sing for $63

at the high school dance.

Sure knocked them off
their feet, didn't I?

What's the matter with you two?

Look, eh, this is the
apartment where I live?

You are my daughter, right?

And you're my daughter's friend.

Let me see now.

Yeah, you asked me to get
you a girl singer, right?

I only got you the top
vocalist in the whole United

States of America, right?

Well--

Now, let's have
the cheers of joy

and the hugs of
appreciation, shall we?

Well, Daddy, we appreciate it--

Well, I should say so.

It's just that well, Miss
Shore isn't-- she isn't exactly

what we had in mind.

That's it, Mr. Williams.

You see, she's not the type.

She's not the type?

Sit down.

Sit down, both of you.

She's not the type.

What's the matter with you two?

Well, you see, Mr. Williams,
we weren't figuring on anyone

as-- expensive as Ms. Shore.

Yeah, .

Oh, well, if it's the
$63 that's bothering you,

I'll cut it down to $62.

$58?

$27.34?

Car fare, one way.

Oh, Dinah, that's silly.

You don't have to cut the price.

You're worth the whole $63.

Gee, thanks.

That's not what I meant.

You see, Mr. Williams,
Miss Shore sings ballads.

Yeah, ballads.

-Yeah, ballads, that's right.
-Yeah.

Well?

And we were sort of
looking for someone

who sings a little faster.
-Faster.

That's it.

Oh, I can sing faster.

Go sit down at the piano.

Play, uh-- "Goody, Goody"

"Goody, Goody."

I'm going to sing faster
than anybody you ever saw.

(SINGING) So you met someone
who set you back on your heels.

Goody, goody.

So you met someone and
now you know how it feels.

Goody, goody.

So you gave them your heart
too, just as I gave mine to you.

And--

(SPEAKING) Nothing, huh?

Wait a minute.

This is silly.

You don't have to
audition for them.

Look, this is Dinah Shore.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait a minute.

Now, they have a
right to get whatever

they want for their dance.

Now, maybe you'd like the kind
of songs they're reviving now

with a new kind of
orchestration or arrangement,

like maybe-- (SINGING)
I'm gonna sit right down

and write myself a letter.

(SINGING) Papaya, papaya.

(SINGING) And make
believe it came from you.

(SINGING) Papaya, papaya.

(SINGING) I'm gonna
write words of--

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no.

Well, I wish I was dead.

You got company.

I can't understand it.

You have a lot of
nerve, you know that?

A couple of teenagers passing
judgment on a great star

like Dinah Shore?

Oh, Danny.

Well, you know what I had
to go through it to get her?

I have agreed to tell
jokes at a fish fry.

For $27.34.

And all the fish you can eat.

All right.

Well, I'm sorry.

We just can't use her.

I-- I can't help it.

Good bye, Gladys.

Well, that's what I always
do, leave them laughing.

Gee, Dinah, I'm sorry.

I'm so-- I'm so embarrassed,
I could-- I could dig a hole

and crawl into it.

Well, while you're digging,
make it big enough for two.

You want me to drop
you off at home?

Yeah, I guess you can do that.

How do you like that?

. $63.

$63, they get Dinah Shaw.

-Hey, do me a favor, will you?
-Huh?

Don't let this get back
to the people at Chevrolet.

Hello, darling.

Hi.

How do you like it?

It's nice.

Where's Terry?

She's in her room.
What's the matter?

Something wrong?
-I'll say something's wrong.

Didn't they ask me to get them
a girl singer for the dance

Friday night?
-Yeah.

I only got them Dinah
Shore, that's all.

You got them Dinah Shore?

DANNY: Yeah.

For the dance?

Mmhm, and miss high and
mighty turned her down.

How do you like that?
-Turned her down?

Yeah, she and Peggy made Dinah
audition like some third rate

singer right here in our home.

I was never so embarrassed
in my whole life.

My kid's not getting
away with it.

She's going to be punished.

She may consider herself
grounded for one month as

of now, and I'm telling her so.

Danny, wait.

What?

Well, I think that I know
why they turned her down.

You do?

Why?

Well, they-- they
got someone else?

Yeah, who?

Oh, one of the mothers.

Oh, brother.
A mother.

For one of the mothers, they
turned down Dinah Shore?

Oh, well, they--
they made a promise.

And I'm sure they're
trying to keep it.

That poor kid.

They'd probably give their
eye teeth to have Dinah Shore.

They're just being loyal.

They're wonderful kids.

You don't know how wonderful.

Hmm.

Being loyal, huh?

How do you like that?

Danny, can you get Dinah back?

Sure I can get her back.

I made a deal to sing at
a fish fry for $27.34.

She was gonna sing at the dance.

It was like a little
exchange proposition.

Well, what about this mother?

This--

Well, I know her.

And I'm sure if I'd tell her
about this, she'll bow out.

Why, she wouldn't
want to deprive

the children of a chance to have
a big star like Dinah Shore.

Well, if you think you
can talk her out of it,

you do it right away.

And I'll run over and see that
Dinah hasn't made other plans.

See you later.

(SINGING) I'll never
say never again, again,

cause here I am in
love again, head over

heels in love again with you.

I'll never say never kiss
you again, cause here

I am kissing you again.

That's just the thing
I said I'd never do.

I walked away and said good bye.

I was hasty, wasn't I?

I missed you so,
I thought I'd die.

But it's all over now,
throw my hat at the sky.

I'll never say
never again again,

cause here I am in love
again, head over heels in love

again with you.

Hey, I'll never say
never again again,

cause here I am in love again,
with the same sweet you.

Thank you.

But it takes the
unselfish efforts

of the people behind
the scenes that can make

an evening like this possible.

So I wish to thank Mary
Saunders, who took care

of the cloak room; Agnes
Henry, our ticket chairman;

Julie Stander, who was
in charge of decorations;

and my wonderful
cochairman, Peggy Conroy;

and above all, I wish to thank
my mother, Kathy Williams,

for her contribution
to this evening.

And now, I would like to
read the financial report.

Well, what does she
mean, your contribution?

What did you do?

Oh, I didn't do
anything, really.

What do you mean, you
didn't do anything?

You must have done something.

She just thanked you.

Well, I-- I just helped out
with a few little things.

Yeah, like stepping aside
so the kids could get to hear

Dinah Shore instead of her.

What?

Oh, Kathy, you were supposed
to sing here tonight.

Oh, Rusty.

You are a blabbermouth.

No, I'm not.

My bribe ran out yesterday, and
you didn't pick up my option.

Honey, you-- you mean you were
the mother that-- of course.

How stupid could I be?

Oh, sweetheart.

gee, I-- I'm sorry, honey.

I should've known, but I was
so angry with the kids that I

didn't-- hey, you--
you really meant

it when you said you want to get
up on a stage and be applauded.

Oh, Kathy, this was going
to be your big night,

and I ruined it.

Oh, you didn't ruin. it.

You just gave the kids
the most wonderful

evening they've ever had.

Well, the evening's
not over yet.

You're going to go on right now.

Come on.

Oh, I couldn't, really.

Yes, you could.

Oh, no, she'd better not.

And why not?

Honey, it-- it's like I told
you, when you face strangers,

you'll get the puckers.

The puckers, huh?

Yeah.

That does it.

Dinah, tell the orchestra to
play "It Had To Be You" in B.

B flat.

Oh, no.

Gentlemen, if you please.

Terry, excuse me just
a minute, will you?

Of course.

I have a very
exciting thing I want

to talk to everybody about.

It seems that we
have a very shining

new talent, undiscovered,
right under our very noses.

One of the mothers has an
excellent, beautiful singing

voice, and we've
just discovered it.

I think it's gonna be
a big thrill for you,

so I want to give a big hand,
singing for the first time,

"It Had To Be You,"
Kathy Williams.

Oh!