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1
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,028
Thank you.
2
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:28,762
KATHY: What is it, Rusty?
3
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:29,797
A telegram.
4
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,199
Oh?
5
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:32,566
Oh, it's for your father.
6
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,302
I wonder who it's from.
7
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:37,105
Could be something important.
8
00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:39,307
Maybe somebody wants to
offer him a big contract.
9
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,308
Yeah.
10
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:43,544
Maybe somebody
wants to cancel one.
11
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,379
Maybe they want him
to make a movie.
12
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,849
Maybe somebody doesn't
want him to make a movie.
13
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:49,883
Let's help him too find out.
14
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,018
Oh no, Rusty.
15
00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:52,286
I don't think that
would be right.
16
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:56,023
I told you, it's
addressed to your father.
17
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:57,858
Yeah, you're right.
18
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,227
We mustn't open it.
19
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:00,828
Hold it up in front
of a strong light.
20
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,796
No, Rusty!
21
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:03,997
That wouldn't be right.
22
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,033
We mustn't show weak characters.
23
00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,034
Well, I know what.
24
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,669
Hold it over a steam kettle.
25
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:09,803
Let it open by itself.
26
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,372
Oh, that would
be just as wrong.
27
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,306
Why?
28
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,341
Can we help it if
we have a steam
29
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:14,508
kettle with a weak character?
30
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,380
Oh, really, Rusty,
we're just going
31
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,448
to have to wait
until your father
32
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,416
wakes up and opens it himself.
33
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,951
Well, when is he gonna wake up?
34
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:25,753
The suspense is killing me.
35
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:26,887
Oh well.
36
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:28,422
You just shouldn't
be so curious.
37
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,658
I don't think he'll sleep
much longer, though.
38
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:31,992
I don't know.
39
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,328
Daddy does pretty good
in the sleep department.
40
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,265
Well, he's entitled to
sleep as long as he wants.
41
00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:39,867
He works hard, and
he needs his rest.
42
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:43,571
Yeah, I guess you're right.
43
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,321
Hey!
44
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:03,757
Daddy, did we wake you up?
45
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,759
Me and the whole neighborhood.
46
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,928
What's going on?
47
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,363
We have a telegram
for you, dear.
48
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,299
Open it.
49
00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:13,534
That the kind of a greeting
I should get in the morning?
50
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,768
Say, good morning.
51
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:15,603
Good morning.
52
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:17,538
Open the telegram.
53
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:18,872
-Good morning, son.
-Good morning.
54
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:19,707
Open the telegram!
55
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,912
You're not only the noisiest
people in the neighborhood,
56
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:25,746
you're also the nosiest.
57
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:29,417
Open the telegram.
58
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,053
Oh.
59
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,323
Well, isn't this wonderful?
60
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,325
Whoever said telegrams
bring good news
61
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,892
knew what he was talking about.
62
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:39,893
Oh, that's great.
63
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,665
Dad, don't you dare.
64
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,600
What's in that telegram?
65
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:50,204
I really shouldn't tell you,
but it's too good to keep.
66
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:51,071
Uncle Tonoose is coming.
67
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,640
Uncle Tonoose?
68
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,041
Yup, today.
69
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:55,309
Oh, boy!
70
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,844
You mean, your Uncle
Tonoose from Toledo?
71
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,913
Yup, the one and the same,
the old sturdy cedar of Lebanon
72
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,349
himself.
73
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:04,452
65 years young and as
strong as a bull and a heart
74
00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:07,054
steeped in the traditions
of the old country.
75
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:08,021
Wait till you meet him.
76
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,189
You'll be crazy about him.
77
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,691
I just can't wait to meet him.
78
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:11,959
I don't blame you.
79
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,527
Is this your coffee?
80
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:14,228
Mhm.
81
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,529
You just lost it.
82
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,833
Can't figure out why
Uncle Tonoose is coming
83
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,369
to New York this time of year.
84
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,408
Oh yeah.
85
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,910
I was wondering when
it was gonna happen.
86
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:30,911
Happen?
87
00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:31,845
When what was gonna happen?
88
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,247
The inspection.
89
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,582
The inspection?
90
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,417
Mhm.
91
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,151
I can just see him now.
92
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:42,089
Well, so you Daniel
new wife, huh?
93
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:43,257
Let me look at you.
94
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,095
That's nice looking woman, boy.
95
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:49,129
No?
96
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:49,997
Nice looking woman, boy, yes.
97
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:55,869
You mean, he's coming
here to-- to inspect me?
98
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,104
Naturally.
99
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:58,272
Naturally?
100
00:03:58,372 --> 00:03:59,673
Let me see.
101
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:03,511
Well, is feeling little
soft for carrying water.
102
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:05,479
But is feeling good for feeling.
103
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,851
Just a minute!
104
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,653
Just a doggone minute.
105
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,422
Am I to understand
that Uncle Tonoose
106
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:17,725
is coming here to say whether
or not he approves of me?
107
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:21,462
Sweetheart, he's kind of the
unofficial head of our family.
108
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,631
It's just an old tradition.
109
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:24,264
That's all.
110
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,133
Well, I like that.
111
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,902
Dear, it's an old custom,
now, nothing to be upset about.
112
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:32,473
I mean, whenever we have a
newcomer come into our family,
113
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,475
Uncle Tonoose comes
to look 'em over.
114
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:37,711
And then he reports
back to the tribe.
115
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:42,149
And after that, the newcomer's
officially admitted.
116
00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:43,817
Does he do that
to everybody new?
117
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:47,388
Every man, woman, and child
that comes into this family.
118
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:48,956
Did he do it when I was born?
119
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,758
Sure, you almost didn't get in.
120
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,665
Well, at least you made it.
121
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,933
I'd better keep my
fingers crossed.
122
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,134
Wait a minute.
123
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,503
Iris, you got nothing
to worry about.
124
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,272
I guarantee you the minute
he lays eyes on you,
125
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:07,508
he'll give you his
traditional stamp of approval.
126
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,777
His traditional
stamp of approval?
127
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:11,144
What's that?
128
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:14,782
Well, honey, it if you were
a man, he'd give you a cigar.
129
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:19,353
You mean when I was lying
in my crib, I smoke a cigar
130
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:23,090
How does he show his
approval of women?
131
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,992
You'll find out.
132
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,694
Now, Danny, I want to know.
133
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:30,998
How does he put his traditional
stamp of approval on women?
134
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,467
Well, honey, it may seem
a little quaint to you,
135
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:38,439
but he pinches 'em.
136
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,907
He pinches 'em?
137
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,375
That's right.
138
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,043
When a woman has been admitted
into this family, honey,
139
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:46,279
she's got a mark to prove it.
140
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,981
A black and blue one.
141
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,851
Fix breakfast, huh?
142
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:51,885
All right.
143
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:54,488
Rusty, go help the
girls set the table.
144
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,023
I'll start the hotcakes.
145
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:56,890
OK.
146
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:57,825
Honey.
147
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:58,459
Hm?
148
00:05:58,559 --> 00:05:59,527
Sweetie, come here.
149
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:00,561
Do me a favor, will you?
150
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:01,529
Mhm.
151
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,664
While Uncle Tonoose
is in our house,
152
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:07,468
please do not ask Rusty
to do a woman's work, huh?
153
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:08,702
A woman's work?
154
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,237
Yeah, like setting
the table or drying
155
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:11,772
the dishes, any of that stuff.
156
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,140
Rusty always
helps at the table.
157
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,975
I know, but not
while Uncle Tonoose
158
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,844
is in the house, all right?
159
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:18,145
Why?
160
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,080
Honey, he's an old country
man, and in the old country,
161
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,849
men don't do things like that.
162
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:24,184
What things do men
do in the old country,
163
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:25,385
outside of pinching, that is?
164
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,357
Look, Clancy, I don't wanna
start an argument with you,
165
00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:31,391
I just want him to like you.
166
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:32,826
That's all.
167
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,562
Now, I'm just trying to give
you a few friendly hints
168
00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:35,896
on how to accomplish it.
169
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:36,530
Well, I know.
170
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,866
And I appreciate it.
171
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:39,933
OK.
172
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,669
We'll have a fast
breakfast, get dressed,
173
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,704
and rush down to that
bus station to meet him.
174
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,372
You'd better get
dressed too again.
175
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,940
Get dressed?
176
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,276
I am dressed.
177
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:50,444
No, sweetheart.
178
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,083
You're not gonna
wear that, are you?
179
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,284
Don't you like it?
180
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,953
Oh, I think it's
real nice, very nice.
181
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:03,757
But it's-- well, it's
a little sophisticated.
182
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,292
Honey, I wish you'd
wear something
183
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,260
a little more youthful.
184
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,796
Youthful?
185
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:10,764
Well, honey, you know how
things are in the old country.
186
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,766
No, how are things
in the old country?
187
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:18,038
Look, baby, in the old
country, a man marries a girl
188
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,007
much younger than himself.
189
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,074
It's a nice dress.
190
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,009
I'm not saying you're old.
191
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:29,717
I just mean, sweetheart, that,
well, I mean, you wouldn't want
192
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,853
Uncle Tonoose to go back home
and say to all the family,
193
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:33,921
it's too bad.
194
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,723
Poor Danyal marry
somebody's grandmother.
195
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:42,362
We wouldn't want him to
say that, now, would we?
196
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,899
No, poor Danyal, we
wouldn't want that.
197
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,969
So wear something that makes
you look a little younger,
198
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,303
will you, honey?
199
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,741
Of course, I could wear a
midi-blouse and teeth-braces.
200
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,676
No, you don't have
to go that far.
201
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,380
Oh, and, honey.
202
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,715
What else is wrong with me?
203
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:05,653
Nothing is wrong with you.
204
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:06,486
You're wonderful.
205
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:07,821
You're beautiful.
206
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,523
And I love you.
207
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:13,126
And you're just
gorgeous as you are.
208
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:17,130
But you see, dear, these
fellas and old country people,
209
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:20,668
they have an attitude
about their women, you see.
210
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,369
And you're sweet.
211
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:25,005
You can do no wrong, believe me.
212
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,608
But while Uncle Tonoose
is in the house,
213
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:31,612
would you try not to
talk too much, huh?
214
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,327
The luckiest day of my
life when I found her.
215
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:49,296
What a wonderful woman she is.
216
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,198
Really great.
217
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:52,265
I can't wait to see her.
218
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,268
You told me that
at bus station.
219
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,270
Open the door, Danyal.
220
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,839
Yeah, OK.
221
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,074
Well, after all, Unc, I can't
blame you for being excited.
222
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,944
She's such a fine woman
and a-- a great homemaker.
223
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:04,645
A good mother.
224
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:05,879
You told me that before.
225
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,715
You say, hello, Uncle Tonoose.
226
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,116
Open the door, Danyal.
227
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,884
Love at first sight,
the minute I saw her.
228
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,420
UNCLE TONOOSE: You told me that
all the way home in taxicab.
229
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,287
Yeah, well.
230
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,791
$1.75 for it.
231
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,493
Open the door, Danyal.
232
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:21,862
Can wait to see
her, Uncle Tonoose.
233
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,231
-- Danyal, I
just think of something.
234
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,132
What's that?
235
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,634
I can't see your wife.
236
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,468
What do you mean you
can't see my wife?
237
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,170
Impossible I see her.
238
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,471
What are you talking about?
239
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,572
You came all the way
from Toledo to see her.
240
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:33,974
What kind of a crock is that?
241
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,776
How am I gonna see her if
you don't open the door?
242
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:40,413
Hey, look who's here.
243
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:41,615
Uncle Tonoose!
244
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:48,155
Still like monkey, but Uncle
Tonoose favorite monkey.
245
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,962
Oh, who is this?
246
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,297
No, no, no.
247
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,933
Sounds a little
bit like my Terri.
248
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:03,570
Even looks a little
bit like my Terri.
249
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:05,405
But this can't be my Terri.
250
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,140
My Terri just little girl.
251
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,242
This fine young lady.
252
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:13,013
Very happy make your
acquaintance, young lady.
253
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,114
Oh, Uncle Tonoose.
254
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:21,354
And who is this little one?
255
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,322
I'm Linda.
256
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:23,891
She's our new sister.
257
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:27,027
Oh, then, you must be
my new grandniece, huh?
258
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,128
Here, turn around.
259
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,462
Let me look at you.
260
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:30,798
Oh, you beautiful!
261
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,768
Oh, that tickles.
262
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,938
Yeah, it's supposed to tickle.
263
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,506
You, I like!
264
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:40,373
Ow!
265
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,241
You pinched me.
266
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,313
Congratulations, Linda.
267
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:49,750
You're now officially
a member of the family.
268
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,952
Well, I see you've met
your new grandniece.
269
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:55,188
Oh yes, she beautiful, Danyal.
270
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,089
He pinched me!
271
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,157
He did?
272
00:10:57,257 --> 00:11:00,460
Well, you're very
lucky that he did.
273
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,330
Hello, sweetheart.
274
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,265
Well, darling.
275
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,366
There he is.
276
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:09,502
Uncle Tonoose, my wife, Kathy.
277
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,806
It's nice meeting
you, Uncle Tonoose.
278
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,008
Likewise, Danyal's new wife.
279
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,453
Yeah, well, wait till you get
to know her, Uncle Tonoose.
280
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:27,587
You'll just love her.
281
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:31,358
You told me that
100 times already.
282
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:34,227
Well, isn't she something, huh?
283
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,695
Pretty lucky, out
family, to have such
284
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,130
a beautiful girl in it, huh?
285
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:41,034
Of course, this dress
does nothing for her.
286
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,170
Old and drab, but
she's got a dress,
287
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,205
I mean, Tonoose, makes
her look 10 years younger,
288
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,674
like a regular teenager.
289
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,943
Beautiful girl, all right.
290
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:50,643
Well?
291
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,479
What do you think, huh?
292
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:55,382
She's skinny.
293
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,650
Hey!
294
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:58,718
Don't get excited, honey.
295
00:11:58,819 --> 00:11:59,920
It's all right.
296
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,789
I mean, Tonoose,
you're not being fair.
297
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,023
You're not giving her a chance.
298
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:03,656
I'm not?
299
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:04,892
No, you're not.
300
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,660
No, I don't think
you're being a bit fair.
301
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,163
I mean, wait and see.
302
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,799
In no time at all, we'll
have her fattened up
303
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:14,701
like a prize heifer.
304
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:15,535
What's wrong?
305
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:16,536
What did I say?
306
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,238
What did I say?
307
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,439
I said prized, didn't I?
308
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,010
Honey.
309
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:23,777
Honey.
310
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,345
Not a word, not one word.
311
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,014
One, two, three.
312
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:34,487
Seven, eight, nine, ten.
313
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,889
Now.
314
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,490
How could you walk out on
Uncle Tonoose like that?
315
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,758
How can I do a thing like that?
316
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:40,928
He's liable to think
you got a temper.
317
00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:41,962
Shh.
318
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,397
I've got news for
you, Danny boy, for you
319
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:45,465
and your Uncle Tonoose.
320
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,733
I have got a temper
321
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,101
What's to be sore about?
322
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,070
Just because you're skinny?
323
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,039
I mean, because he
thinks you're skinny.
324
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:53,673
Look, to an old timer
like that, a woman
325
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,774
isn't a woman
unless she outweighs
326
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,076
her husband by 20 pounds.
327
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,978
And how is she to a
young timer like you?
328
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,047
To me, you're just
right, love, just right.
329
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,748
Then why didn't you say so?
330
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:02,916
What?
331
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:04,717
Why didn't you
say, Uncle Tonoose,
332
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,119
I don't think she's too skinny.
333
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:09,022
I think she's just right,
instead of "we'll fatten
334
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:12,960
her up like a prize heifer."
335
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:15,929
We agreed that we wanted
him to like you, didn't we?
336
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,865
And doesn't it matter
whether or not I like him?
337
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:18,731
Well, don't you?
338
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,400
No!
339
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,602
I don't care whether or
not he thinks I'm skinny.
340
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,171
I care what you think.
341
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:26,439
All day long, every since you
heard he was coming, you've
342
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:29,776
done nothing but find fault
with me, with the way I look,
343
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:32,612
the way I dress, the way I talk!
344
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:35,015
Sweetheart, I'm sorry.
345
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:36,416
Aw, come on, Clancy.
346
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,584
Don't do that.
347
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,719
I didn't mean to
find fault with you.
348
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:43,656
It's just that well,
he's a great guy.
349
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:47,460
And after all, the way he feels
about you is important to me.
350
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:51,731
Doesn't it matter about the
way we feel about each other?
351
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,234
Hey, honey, what kind
of question is that?
352
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,036
That's the most important
thing of all, the way
353
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,205
we feel about each other.
354
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:01,741
Look, honey, it's a
little hard to explain,
355
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,212
but we're a very close family.
356
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:08,281
Even though we're spread out
all over the country, Ohio, New
357
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,951
York, California, we still
feel as close as though we
358
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,020
lived in the same house.
359
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:16,489
And whatever happens to one
of us, happens to all of us.
360
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:19,859
And you happened to me.
361
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,295
Fortunately, you happened to me.
362
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:25,598
And I want them to
love you as I love you.
363
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:30,570
But believe me, baby, with
or without their approval,
364
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,672
I want you just as you are.
365
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:35,242
I wouldn't change
you, not one bit.
366
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,177
Oh, Danyal.
367
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,912
Sweetheart.
368
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,514
Now, why don't you put
on that nice green Dress
369
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,416
it puffs you out a little bit.
370
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:44,251
Oh!
371
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:52,825
Oh, sure.
372
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,861
Things are pretty good
now by farm, you know.
373
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,164
We got almost as many
cows as we got relatives.
374
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,601
Say, you remember cousin Salim?
375
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:02,469
Mhm.
376
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,703
Got married.
377
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:04,737
No.
378
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:05,705
UNCLE TONOOSE: Sure.
379
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:06,706
That old fox got married?
380
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,875
He must be 72 years old.
381
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:09,943
Married very good woman.
382
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:10,777
Well, that's good.
383
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,012
Very good.
384
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:14,547
Little old, maybe,
but very good woman.
385
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,648
Oh, how old is she?
386
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:16,483
17.
387
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,222
Strong woman.
388
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,791
Strong as ox, that woman.
389
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:28,561
Looks a little bit like ox too.
390
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:31,864
But good thing to have strong
woman around farm, you know.
391
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,666
Especially when mule get sick.
392
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,138
Kathy's very strong.
393
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:40,507
I know she doesn't look
it, but she's very strong.
394
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:41,341
Strong?
395
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,875
Mhm.
396
00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:44,144
You could pull plow?
397
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,283
I mean, Tonoose, she
can't pull a plow.
398
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,519
She hasn't had any practice.
399
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,954
She's real good at the vacuum
cleaner and stuff like that.
400
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,156
I mean, we live in an apartment.
401
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:57,790
We don't get any
practice with a plow.
402
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:58,691
Isn't that right, dear?
403
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,264
Well, why don't you pour a
little more coffee, honey?
404
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:10,403
Did you enjoy our
dinner, Uncle Tonoose?
405
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:15,175
Yeah, it was all
right, for appetizer.
406
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,009
Kathy!
407
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:21,148
Why don't you get some more
food for Uncle Tonoose, honey?
408
00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:22,249
I think he's still hungry.
409
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:30,923
Danyal, your new wife,
she don't talk much.
410
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,425
All the time like that?
411
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:35,695
Well, you know how we train
our women, Uncle Tonoose.
412
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,197
You said it yourself.
413
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,366
You said, "show me a woman
with ears bigger than mouth,
414
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,035
and I show you a
good wife," right?
415
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,570
Well, that's Kathy to a T.
416
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,406
It's not good to have
woman who talk all the time,
417
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,742
but is worth to have woman
that don't talk nothing.
418
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,978
Not cheerful in house.
419
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,181
Oh, Kathy can talk.
420
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:58,885
As a matter of fact,
she talks very well.
421
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,587
Talk for Uncle Tonoose, dear.
422
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,628
I hope you enjoy your
visit, Uncle Tonoose.
423
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,930
Won't you visit us again
sometime in the summer,
424
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:16,303
and we'll all go for a ride
in the country, or something.
425
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:17,070
See that?
426
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,706
I told you she could talk.
427
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,875
You call that talking?
428
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,244
You remember Shammeh?
429
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:26,113
Cousin Youssuf's wife?
430
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,715
There was woman who could talk.
431
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,817
Was pleasure to listen to that.
432
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:33,220
Yes, Youssuf, of
course, Youssuf.
433
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,188
Youssuf, you absolutely right.
434
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,989
Anything you say, Youssuf.
435
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,391
That was talker!
436
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:41,561
That was wife!
437
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,763
I'm getting pretty
sick and tired of this.
438
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:46,233
I don't know what anybody
else in this family thinks,
439
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:49,336
but I don't think Uncle Tonoose
has been acting very nice.
440
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:53,373
Kathy, I-- I wanna
apologize for our uncle.
441
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:56,243
Ever since you came here,
you've been picking on Kathy.
442
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,777
You don't like
this, you don't like
443
00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,446
that, you don't like anything.
444
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,514
Well, I like Kathy
just the way she is,
445
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,984
and if you don't, well,
that's just too darn bad.
446
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,018
Daddy.
447
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,487
You can go ahead and punish me.
448
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,223
You can cut off my allowance,
or send me to my room,
449
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,459
but I've-- I've said
it, and I'm glad.
450
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:15,228
Daddy, if you're
gonna punish her,
451
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,730
you might as well punish me too.
452
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:20,367
'Cause I also love Kathy
just the way she is,
453
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:23,035
and I think Uncle Tonoose
has a great big nerve
454
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,671
coming here and picking on her.
455
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:28,007
And if you don't like my Mommy,
I don't wanna be in your family
456
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:28,875
anymore.
457
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:32,445
There!
458
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:33,280
Ugh!
459
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,817
I gave you your pinch back.
460
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,858
Amm Tonoose, I'm--
I'm very much ashamed.
461
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:46,859
Oh, that's all right, Danyal.
462
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:47,994
They's only kids.
463
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:48,995
They don't know
what they talking.
464
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:49,962
I'm not ashamed of the kids.
465
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:51,664
I'm ashamed of myself.
466
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,500
I'm ashamed because
I didn't say what
467
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,336
they said before they said it.
468
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,306
I mean, I stood around
and listened to you
469
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:01,341
criticize my wife all
day, and never once did
470
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,510
I say anything in her defense.
471
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:04,944
I mean, I love you very much.
472
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,946
I always have,
and I always will.
473
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:11,818
But I love my wife more, and I--
I don't think she's too skinny.
474
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:13,253
And I don't think she's too old.
475
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,388
And I don't think she talks
too much or too little.
476
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,357
Matter of fact, I
think she's perfect.
477
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,525
You wanna know the
truth, I think I'm
478
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,260
the luckiest man in the world.
479
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,604
What's so funny?
480
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,973
All day I wait for
you to say, Tonoose,
481
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:34,807
you like knock on head?
482
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:41,214
When you meet me by bus
station this morning,
483
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:42,982
first thing you say,
before you say hello,
484
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,318
is how wonderful is new wife.
485
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:48,821
And then coming home on taxicab,
more wonderful you tell me.
486
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:52,959
Coming up in elevator, still
more wonderful, more wonderful.
487
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:55,662
Like once fella
tried to sell me cow.
488
00:19:55,762 --> 00:20:00,633
In one hour, 17 times, he
say wonderful cow, wonderful.
489
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:04,737
Ho-ho, I say, Tonoose, must
be this cow have leaky faucet.
490
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:12,679
When man love woman, when she
his wife, he shall be proud,
491
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:14,347
should stand by wife.
492
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,215
And that's why I wait.
493
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,885
I wait all day for
you to do that.
494
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:22,655
And now when finally you
stand by wife and be proud,
495
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,958
I say, thank you,
Danyal, my nephew,
496
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,160
for telling your
old Uncle Tonoose
497
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:31,364
keep his big mouth shut!
498
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,766
Oh, Uncle Tonoose,
you're wonderful.
499
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:37,103
Eh, you wonderful
too, my new niece.
500
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,104
But you skinny.
501
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:38,938
Eat.
502
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:57,056
(SINGING): I find that,
day by day you're making
503
00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:00,327
all of my dreams come true.
504
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:17,777
And come what may, I want you
to know I'll be yours alone,
505
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:41,033
and I'm in love to stay, as
we go through the years, day
506
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:41,901
by day.
507
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:53,179
That was nice, Danyal.
508
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:57,450
Now, play a Lebanese song, huh?
509
00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:58,485
Oh, wait a minute now.
510
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:08,861
Ah.
511
00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:28,415
Danyal.
512
00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:37,189
What's that he's
playing, Uncle Tonoose?
513
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:39,592
Oh, that beautiful
old song, beautiful, as
514
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,394
old as our people, that song.
515
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:43,262
Has beautiful words too.
516
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,498
Well, what are the words.
517
00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:50,537
Well, it's a song about a man
who love a woman very much,
518
00:22:50,637 --> 00:22:53,039
and they are separated.
519
00:22:53,139 --> 00:22:56,809
So he climb to top of hill,
and he look up at the sky,
520
00:22:56,909 --> 00:23:00,547
and he sing a song
about their love.
521
00:23:00,647 --> 00:23:03,282
What does he sing?
522
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:08,020
I-- I can't say
that in English.
523
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:08,988
Danyal, tell her.
524
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:12,324
Translate for her, huh?
525
00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:16,028
Through the night,
beloved, through
526
00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:22,969
the long, endless night, your
silhouette hovers over my mind.
527
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,705
Oh, that's just beautiful.
528
00:23:25,805 --> 00:23:28,775
You mean your father don't
sing song like that all the time
529
00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:30,076
now?
530
00:23:30,176 --> 00:23:33,746
Shame on you, Danyal, and
you with new wife in house!
531
00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:34,581
He's Irish.
532
00:23:38,685 --> 00:23:40,987
They don't like music?
533
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,655
Of course they like
music, but I mean,
534
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,123
she wouldn't take
a Lebanese song.
535
00:23:44,223 --> 00:23:45,492
By the way, where is she?
536
00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:46,859
Oh, she's in the kitchen,
making some coffee.
537
00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:47,627
Oh?
538
00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:48,861
I go help her, huh?
539
00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:50,730
I teach her how to
make Turkish coffee.
540
00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:52,198
Oh, I'd love some
Turkish coffee.
541
00:23:52,298 --> 00:23:53,700
Otherwise, we're
gonna get Irish coffee!
542
00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:01,974
Daddy, what are the words
to the rest of the song?
543
00:24:02,074 --> 00:24:03,309
It's pretty deep, honey.
544
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:05,011
I mean, it isn't something
you'd find around high school
545
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:09,716
or anything, but he says to
her-- she's far, far away,
546
00:24:09,816 --> 00:24:11,518
you know, and he sings to her.
547
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:18,024
And he says, I fear the time
and distance between us.
548
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:22,729
But, my beloved, I shall
be content with the time
549
00:24:22,829 --> 00:24:27,299
and patient with the distance
so long as that which troubles
550
00:24:27,399 --> 00:24:31,237
my mind troubles yours.
551
00:24:31,337 --> 00:24:32,204
KATHY: Ow!
552
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:35,307
Honey, what's the matter?
553
00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:36,342
Danny, I've got news for you.
554
00:24:36,442 --> 00:24:37,844
What's the matter?
555
00:24:37,944 --> 00:24:39,812
I've just been officially
made a member of the family.
38990
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