Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

ROBSON, YOUR MASTER IS UNWELL.

WE MUST STOP AT THE VERY NEXT VILLAGE YOU COME TO.

RIGHT YOU ARE, MISS.

HE IS ILL.

WE NEED A BEDROOM, IF YOU PLEASE.

TAKE THE GENTLEMAN TO THE FIRST FLOOR FRONT, MARK.

RIGHT, MRS. LUPIN.

SHALL I CALL A DOCTOR

OR THE APOTHECARY IN THE NEXT VILLAGE?

NO. NO DOCTORS, NO APOTHECARIES.

HERE, PA. BRANDY AND WATER.

THAT'LL DO. I'M BETTER.

OH!

[LAUGHTER]

AND I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU.

OH.

I'M GLAD TO REPORT THAT I'VE FOUND ANOTHER STUDENT

TO REPLACE THE INGRATE WESTLOCK.

OH, PA! WHO IS HE?

A YOUNG MAN, ANXIOUS TO AVAIL HIMSELF

OF THE ELIGIBLE OPPORTUNITY WHICH NOW OFFERS

FOR UNITING THE BEST PRACTICAL ARCHITECTURAL EDUCATION

WITH THE COMFORTS OF A HOME AND A FAMILY

OF THE HIGHEST MORAL STANDARDS.

AS PER ADVERTISEMENT.

IS HE HANDSOME, PA?

OH, SILLY MERRY. WHAT'S THE PREMIUM, PA?

GRACIOUS, CHARITY, WHAT A MERCENARY GIRL YOU ARE.

GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS.

[BOTH LAUGH]

HE'S WELL-LOOKING ENOUGH.

I DO NOT EXPECT ANY IMMEDIATE PREMIUM WITH HIM.

HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR GRANDPAPA LIKE THIS BEFORE, MISS?

MANY TIMES.

BUT HE'S NOT MY GRANDFATHER.

FATHER, I SHOULD HAVE SAID.

HE'S NOT MY FATHER OR MY UNCLE.

OR MY HUSBAND.

WE ARE NOT RELATED.

OH! UH, WHY IT'S... A PROVIDENCE

YOU HAVE THE MEDICINE, THEN.

WE NEVER TRAVEL WITHOUT THEM.

BRING ME MY WRITING CASE.

AND MOVE THE CANDLE NEARER.

MARTIN, YOU SHOULD REST.

BRING IT, I TELL YOU!

THE YOUNG LADY'S RIGHT, SIR. YOU'RE IN NO FIT STATE TO BE WRITING.

AND WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS, MA'AM?

AHEM. NO BUSINESS, SIR, EXCEPT COMMON SENSE AND CHRISTIAN CHARITY.

I WANT TO SEE YOU GET BETTER.

HMM. VERY SOLICITOUS.

BUT YOU BEGIN TOO SOON.

YOU DO YOUR ERRAND, AND YOU EARN YOUR FEE.

WHO IS YOUR CLIENT?

MY CLIENT, SIR? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

HUSH, MARTIN.

CONSIDER HOW SHORT A TIME WE'VE BEEN IN THIS HOUSE

AND QUITE BY CHANCE.

EVEN YOUR NAME IS UNKNOWN HERE.

DIDN'T YOU SAY THIS PLACE WAS CALLED LITTLE HADDING?

AH. THEN THERE IS SOMEONE HERE

WHO KNOWS MY NAME.

HAS THE REPROBATE DEPARTED YET?

HE GOES TO LONDON TONIGHT BY THE MAIL COACH.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

COME IN.

I--I BEG YOUR PARDON FOR INTRUDING, MR. PECKSNIFF.

PRAY BE SEATED, MR. PINCH, BUT HAVE THE GOODNESS TO SHUT THE DOOR.

THANK YOU, SIR.

BUT...MR. WESTLOCK IS HERE, TOO, SIR,

AND, L-LEAVING TONIGHT FOR GOOD AND ALL,

WISHES TO LEAVE NONE BUT FRIENDS BEHIND.

OH, MR. PINCH, MR. PINCH,

I HAVE NOT DESERVED THIS OF YOU.

COME, MR. PECKSNIFF,

DON'T LET THERE BE ANY ILL WILL

BETWEEN US AT PARTING.

I BEAR NO ILL WILL TO ANY MAN ON EARTH.

I TOLD YOU HE DIDN'T.

YOU'LL SHAKE HANDS, THEN.

NO, JOHN, I WILL NOT SHAKE HANDS.

I HAVE FORGIVEN YOU.

I HAVE EMBRACED YOU IN THE SPIRIT, JOHN,

WHICH IS BETTER THAN SHAKING HANDS.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

AS FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS,

I'LL NOT HAVE IT UPON SUCH TERMS.

Charity: FOR SHAME!

OH, BUT YOU MUST. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.

I FORGAVE YOU EVEN AS YOU WRONGED ME WITH YOUR REPROACHES.

I WRONGED YOU?

HERE'S A PRETTY FELLOW.

WHAT ABOUT THE �500 YOU HAD FROM ME

FOR TEACHING ME NOTHING?

OR THE �70 A YEAR FOR BOARD AND LODGING

WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAR AT 17?

I FORGAVE YOU.

JUST AS I FORGIVE THE THOUGHTLESS PERSON

WHO INTRODUCED YOU TO MY QUIET HEARTH TONIGHT,

DISTURBING ITS PEACE AND HARMONY.

MR. PECKSNIFF, I--

NAY.

I BEG THAT INDIVIDUAL NOT TO OFFER A REMARK JUST NOW.

IN TIME, I TRUST, I SHALL HAVE SUFFICIENT FORTITUDE

TO CONVERSE WITH HIM AS IF THESE EVENTS HAD NEVER HAPPENED.

BUT NOT NOW.

NOT NOW.

BAH!

COME, PINCH. IT'S NOT WORTH THINKING OF.

LADIES, GOOD NIGHT.

A MESSAGE FROM THE BLUE DRAGON, SIR.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

BOTH HANDS, TOM. BOTH HANDS.

GOOD-BYE... MY DEAR FELLOW.

I'LL WRITE TO YOU FROM LONDON, MIND.

I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING.

SEEMS BUT YESTERDAY YOU CAME.

IT WAS 5 YEARS.

5 WASTED YEARS...

BUT FOR THE PLEASURE OF KNOWING YOU.

GOOD-BYE, JOHN.

GOOD-BYE, TOM.

Man: GET ON! WHOOPAH!

[HORSE NEIGHS]

GOOD EVENING, MRS. LUPIN.

GOOD EVENING, MR. PECKSNIFF.

I--I AM SO VERY GLAD YOU HAVE COME.

I AM SO VERY GLAD I HAVE COME, MRS. LUPIN, IF I CAN BE OF SERVICE.

WHAT IS THE MATTER?

AN ELDERLY GENTLEMAN TAKEN ILL UPON THE ROAD

HAS BEEN SO VERY BAD UPSTAIRS, SIR.

A GENTLEMAN TAKEN ILL UPON THE ROAD

HAS BEEN SO VERY BAD UPSTAIRS, HAS HE?

WELL, WELL. AND HOW IS HE NOW?

I AM VERY MUCH AFRAID, SIR,

THAT HIS CONSCIENCE IS TROUBLED

BY HIS NOT BEING RELATED TO...OR MARRIED TO

THE YOUNG LADY WHO IS WITH HIM.

YOU MEAN YOUNG PERSON, MRS. LUPIN.

YOUNG PERSON, SIR, YES. I DO BEG YOUR PARDON.

I HAVE BEEN SO RUSHED TONIGHT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SAY,

BUT TO BE SURE, SHE LOOKS AND ACTS JUST LIKE A LADY.

APPEARANCES ARE OFTEN DECEPTIVE.

I WILL WAIT UPON THESE TRAVELERS, MRS. LUPIN.

THIS LOOKS ARTFUL...

VERY ARTFUL, MRS. LUPIN.

SHALL I KNOCK, SIR?

NO.

[UNLATCHES DOOR]

WHAT GENTLEMAN IS THIS?

DON'T TROUBLE YOURSELF, MA'AM.

THIS YOUNG, EH...STRANGER WILL EXCUSE ME

FOR REPLYING BRIEFLY THAT I RESIDE IN THIS VILLAGE.

IT MAY BE IN AN INFLUENTIAL MANNER, HOWEVER UNDESERVED,

AND I WAS SUMMONED HERE BY YOU.

I AM HERE AS I AM EVERYWHERE, I HOPE,

IN SYMPATHY WITH THE SICK AND SORRY.

YOU ARE MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT!

YES...

I AM MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT.

AND MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT WISHES YOU WERE HANGED

BEFORE YOU'D COME HERE TO DISTURB HIM IN HIS SLEEP.

MY GOOD COUSIN, I--

THERE, WITH HIS VERY FIRST WORDS,

HE PROCLAIMS HIS RELATIONSHIP TO ME.

I KNEW HE WOULD. THEY ALL DO IT.

NEAR OR DISTANT, BLOOD OR WATER,

IT'S ALL ONE.

UGH!

PRAY...COMPOSE YOURSELF, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

AND YOU, MISTRESS, I KNEW YOU WERE HIS SPY!

A SPY? MARTIN, HUSH!

DO NOT BE HASTY, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

I ASSURE YOU MRS. LUPIN HAD NO IDEA WE WERE RELATED.

BAH.

I CAME HERE TO SUCCOR A STRANGER, SO I THOUGHT,

AND I HAVE JUST THAT AMOUNT OF INTEREST IN YOU

AS I SHOULD FEEL IN ANY STRANGER CIRCUMSTANCED AS YOU ARE,

NO MORE...AND NO LESS.

HMM?

OH, I-- I BEG YOUR PARDON.

I THOUGHT YOU SPOKE.

MRS. LUPIN, I AM NOT AWARE THAT I CAN BE OF ANY FURTHER SERVICE HERE.

SHALL WE CONVERSE AS STRANGERS, THEN?

IF THAT WOULD BE A RELIEF TO YOU, SIR.

LEAVE US ALONE.

I AM A WEALTHY MAN.

WEALTHIER THAN MY BROTHER ANTHONY, FOR INSTANCE.

HE GETS SOME PLEASURE FROM HOARDING HIS MONEY.

MINE HAS BROUGHT ME NOTHING BUT MISERY.

IT HAS POISONED EVERY TIE OF FAMILY OR FRIENDSHIP.

NO ONE LOVES ME FOR MYSELF...

ONLY FOR WHAT THEY HOPE TO GET OUT OF ME.

MR. CHUZZLEWIT, I CAN ASSURE YOU--

I THOUGHT WE WERE STRANGERS.

HEAR ME OUT.

FOR YEARS...

I'VE BEEN PESTERED BY A HORDE OF AVARICIOUS RELATIVES,

ALL CLAMORING FOR MY ATTENTION,

ALL STAKING A CLAIM ON MY ESTATE.

THE YOUNG GIRL, WHOM YOU SAW JUST NOW...

AND WHOM I SEE YOU HATE ALREADY...

MY DEAR SIR, I--

SHE IS AN ORPHAN...

WHOM I ADOPTED TO BE MY COMPANION.

HER NAME IS MARY GRAHAM.

I HAVE MADE, AS SHE KNOWS, A SOLEMN VOW

NOT TO LEAVE HER SO MUCH AS SIXPENCE WHEN I DIE.

BUT WHILE I LIVE, I MAKE HER A MODEST ANNUAL ALLOWANCE,

SO SHE IS BOUND TO ME IN LIFE BY SELF-INTEREST...

BUT HAS NOTHING TO GAIN FROM MY DEATH.

THAT'S THE ONLY KIND OF FRIEND I HAVE NOW.

OR WILL EVER HAVE.

NOW LEAVE ME.

AND JUDGE HOW POINTLESS IT WOULD BE

FOR YOU TO RETURN.

I WILL LEAVE YOU, SIR.

BUT BEFORE I GO...

I MUST SPEAK.

I WILL NOT SAY THAT YOU ARE MISTAKEN IN ME.

WHILE YOU ARE IN YOUR PRESENT MOOD, IT WOULD BE IN VAIN.

BUT I OWE IT TO MYSELF AND TO MY CHARACTER

TO TELL YOU ON BEHALF OF ANOTHER

THAT YOUR CONDUCT IS WRONG, UNNATURAL, INDEFENSIBLE...

MONSTROUS.

WHAT OTHER?

YOUR GRANDSON, SIR.

YOUR NAMESAKE, WHO HAS THE STRONGEST NATURAL CLAIM UPON YOU

AND FROM WHOM, I BELIEVE, YOU ARE ESTRANGED.

WHY SHOULD YOU PLEAD FOR HIM?

IT IS MERE NATURAL JUSTICE.

YOU MUST PROVIDE FOR THAT YOUNG MAN.

YOU WILL PROVIDE FOR HIM.

PERHAPS...

YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE SO.

I PRAY YOU HAVE.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[ROOSTER CROWS]

[CHURCH ORGAN PLAYS]

I WOULDN'T BOTHER GOING UP THERE IF I WERE YOU.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

WELL, THE DOOR'S LOCKED, AND THE KEY IS IN THE KEYHOLE.

ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT I WOULD STOOP-- WHO ARE YOU?

JUST THE QUESTION THAT WAS ON THE TIP OF ME OWN TONGUE.

WELL, YOU CAN'T BE HIS NIECE'S HUSBAND,

BECAUSE HE'S BEEN HERE ALREADY.

WHAT?

WAIT A BIT.

ARE YOU THE COUSIN WHO LIVES IN THIS PLACE?

PECKSNIFF?

THAT IS MY NAME.

I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR.

MONTAGUE TIGG...

AT YOUR SERVICE, SIR.

YOU BEHOLD IN ME, SIR,

A MAN WHO ALSO HAS AN INTEREST IN THE GENTLEMAN UPSTAIRS.

ARE YOU... RELATED TO HIM?

NOT EXACTLY. NO, SIR,

BUT MY FRIEND AND ASSOCIATE, MR. CHEVY SLYME,

IS HIS NEPHEW TWICE REMOVED.

YOU KNOW MR. SLYME, I BELIEVE.

I AM AWARE OF HIS EXISTENCE.

THEN NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO MAKE HIS ACQUAINTANCE.

CHEV!

CHEV...

MR. PECKSNIFF.

MR. PECKSNIFF... MR. CHEVY SLYME, ESQUIRE.

NOW, YOU TWO ARE RELATED,

AND RELATIVES NEVER AGREE, I KNOW,

BUT IF I MAY BE SO BOLD,

YOU HAVE EVERYTHING TO GAIN BY COMBINING WITH THE OTHERS.

[WHISPERING]

YES, CHEV, I SHALL COME TO THAT PRESENTLY.

I'M SURE MR. PECKSNIFF WOULD THINK NOTHING

OF SO TRIFLING A LOAN AS A CROWN PIECE TOWARD A MAN OF YOUR TALENTS.

YOU SPOKE OF OTHERS. WHAT OTHERS?

WELL, THERE'S ANTHONY CHUZZLEWIT, HIS BROTHER,

AND HIS SON JONAS, TO BEGIN WITH.

THEY ARE HERE?

AND THE OTHER BROTHER'S WIDOW WITH HER 3 DAUGHTERS...

AND THE SPOTTLETOES.

THE SPOTTLETOES?!

THE SPOTTLETOES, YES.

WORD HAS GOT AROUND, YOU SEE, MR. PECKSNIFF.

THE WHOLE FAMILY IS POURING INTO THE VILLAGE BY THE HOUR.

UPON MY SOUL, THIS IS SCANDALOUS.

IT IS! SCANDALOUS.

AND THE OLD GENTLEMAN UPSTAIRS,

AT DEATH'S DOOR FOR ALL WE KNOW,

HIS GRANDSON DISINHERITED,

A FORTUNE GOING BEGGING,

AND WE CAN'T GET ANYWHERE NEAR HIM.

MEANWHILE, HE IS POURING HIS CONFIDENCE

INTO THE BOSOM OF A STRANGER.

YOU REFER TO HIS PAID COMPANION AND NURSE, I PRESUME.

[BOTH SNICKER]

COMPANION AND NURSE.

YOU MAY DEPEND UPON IT, SIR.

SHE HAS HER EYE ON THE MAIN CHANCE.

THERE MAY BE SOMETHING IN WHAT YOU SAY.

OF COURSE THERE IS!

THAT'S WHY WE MUST COMBINE FORCES

AGAINST HER INFLUENCE!

CHEV, MY DEAR FELLOW,

GO OUTSIDE AND SEE WHAT KIND OF A DAY IT IS, WOULD YOU?

PERHAPS I SHOULD CONVENE A FAMILY COUNCIL.

CAPITAL IDEA.

CAPITAL.

[DOOR CLOSES]

MEANWHILE, YOU HEARD CHEV WHISPER ME, I THINK.

ONLY A MERE TRIFLING 5 SHILLINGS

TO BE REPAID PUNCTUALLY NEXT WEEK, THAT'S THE BEST OF IT.

YOU HEARD THAT?

YOU'RE NOT IN WANT OF CHANGE, ARE YOU?

NO, THANK YOU, I'M NOT.

GOOD DAY TO YOU.

BECAUSE IF YOU HAD BEEN, I WOULD HAVE GOT IT FOR YOU!

PERHAPS YOU WOULD RATHER NOT LEND SLYME 5 SHILLINGS.

I WOULD MUCH RATHER NOT.

WOULD YOU HAVE THE SAME OBJECTION

TO LENDING ME 5 SHILLINGS?

I WOULD. NOT EVEN HALF A CROWN?

NOT EVEN HALF A CROWN.

WHY, THEN WE COME TO THE RIDICULOUSLY SMALL AMOUNT

OF 18 PENCE.

THAT WOULD BE EQUALLY OBJECTIONABLE.

THEN LET ME TELL YOU, MR. PECKSNIFF...

YOU ARE THE MOST REMARKABLE AND CONSISTENT MAN

THAT EVER I HAVE MET,

AND I HOPE FOR THE HONOR OF YOUR FUTURE ACQUAINTANCE.

BE SURE TO LET US KNOW ABOUT THE FAMILY COUNCIL.

A MESSAGE WILL ALWAYS FIND US HERE.

HAS IT STARTED YET?

NO, NOT YET.

THIS DOES ME GOOD.

IT DOES MY DAUGHTERS GOOD.

WE THANK YOU FOR ASSEMBLING HERE.

YOU ASSUME TOO MUCH TO YOURSELF, PECKSNIFF.

[MURMURS OF AGREEMENT]

I'M NO STRANGER TO YOUR PREPOSTEROUS DESIRE

TO BE REGARDED AS THE HEAD OF THIS FAMILY.

AND I SUPPOSE YOU CLAIM THAT DISTINCTION FOR YOURSELF, MR. SPOTTLETOE.

WELL, I--I DON'T SAY--

AS THE WIDOW OF MR. MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT'S ELDEST BROTHER--

AND A HAPPY RELEASE IT WAS FOR HIM, TOO.

COME, GIRLS!

I HAVE NOT COME HERE TO BE INSULTED

BY A NOTORIOUS DEBAUCHEE!

FRIENDS, FRIENDS, I BESEECH YOU.

LADIES, PRAY BE SEATED.

GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.

I'M NOT SORRY THIS LITTLE INCIDENT HAS HAPPENED.

IT'S GOOD TO KNOW THAT WE HAVE NO RESERVE BEFORE EACH OTHER

AND ARE APPEARING FREELY IN OUR OWN CHARACTERS.

DON'T YOU BE A HYPOCRITE, PECKSNIFF!

A WHAT, MY DEAR SIR?

YOU HEARD ME.

A HYPOCRITE.

CHARITY, WHEN I TAKE MY CHAMBER CANDLESTICK TONIGHT,

REMIND ME TO BE MORE THAN USUALLY PARTICULAR

IN PRAYING FOR MR. ANTHONY CHUZZLEWIT,

WHO HAS DONE ME AN INJUSTICE.

CAN WE GET DOWN TO THE BUSINESS OF THIS MEETING?

QUITE SO. I AM GRATEFUL TO MR. JONAS CHUZZLEWIT

FOR HIS PERTINENT INTERVENTION.

OUR BUSINESS IS TO CONSIDER HOW TO OPEN THE EYES

OF OUR VALUED RELATIVE TO THE--

TO THE, UM...

GO ON, PA.

WHY, THE--THE TRUTH IS, MY DEAR,

THAT I'M AT-- I'M AT A LOSS FOR A WORD.

THE NAME OF THOSE FABULOUS CREATURES--

PAGAN, I REGRET TO SAY--

THAT USED TO SING IN THE WATERS

QUITE ESCAPED ME.

SWANS?

NO, NOT SWANS.

VERY LIKE SWANS, THOUGH.

OYSTERS.

[SNORTS]

AH, NO, BUT BY NO MEANS UNLIKE OYSTERS.

AN EXCELLENT SUGGESTION. THANK YOU.

WAIT.

SIRENS...SIRENS.

YES, I--I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT WE MUST RELEASE OUR VALUED RELATIVE

FROM THE SIREN SPELL OF THIS YOUNG FEMALE

WHOSE POSITION IN REFERENCE TO HIMSELF IS SO SCANDALOUS.

[MURMURS OF AGREEMENT]

WHAT THEN?

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER WE'VE GOT RID OF THE GIRL?

I SUBMIT TO YOU, MY FRIENDS,

WHETHER WE MIGHT NOT REMOVE MR. CHUZZLEWIT'S DISTRUST OF US ALL

BY PLEADING THE CAUSE... OF HIS GRANDSON.

A YOUNG MAN FOR WHOM I HAVE A DEEP REGARD.

WHAT'S YOUR GAME, PECKSNIFF?

MY GAME, SIR?

I ASSURE YOU, I HAVE THE MOST DISINTERESTED MOTIVES.

SIR, THIS IS A FAMILY CONFERENCE.

I AM NOT AWARE THAT YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY.

ONLY BY ASSOCIATION WITH MR. SLYME, I GRANT YOU.

BUT KNOWING THE SUBJECT OF YOUR DISCUSSION,

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED TO KNOW

THAT THE BIRD HAS FLOWN.

WHAT IS YOUR MEANING, SIR?

ACCORDING TO THE HOSTLER AT THE BLUE DRAGON,

THE OLD MAN AND THE YOUNG WOMAN

DEPARTED IN THEIR CARRIAGE AN HOUR AGO

AND LEFT NO FORWARDING ADDRESS!

COME, CHEV!

YOU WERE PRIVY TO THIS, SIR!

HE'S DECOYED US HERE WITH THIS CHARADE OF A MEETING

SO THE PAIR COULD MAKE THEIR ESCAPE!

I ASSURE YOU, I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT IT.

TAH! COME, MY DEAR.

LET US NOT LINGER IN THIS HOUSE OF DECEIT!

OUTRAGEOUS!

[INDIGNANT MURMURING]

Deaf cousin: WHAT DID HE SAY?

I BELIEVE YOU, PECKSNIFF.

FOR ONCE!

POOR PAPA!

TO BE INSULTED BY THOSE ODIOUS PEOPLE.

AND AFTER ALL YOUR EFFORTS TO POUR OIL ON TROUBLED WATERS.

AND THE OLD MAN, SPIRITED AWAY BY THAT HUSSY!

NOBODY KNOWS WHERE! THAT'S THE WORST OF IT.

NEVER MIND, MY DEARS.

IT MAY BE JUST AS WELL HE IS NOT IN RESIDENCE

WHEN MY NEW PUPIL ARRIVES.

THE NEW PUPIL! WHO IS HE?

YOU ARE TO MEET HIM IN THE KING'S ARMS AT HALF PAST 1:00.

HIS NAME IS MARTIN.

MR. MARTIN. RIGHT, SIR.

OH, AND, PINCH... DON'T SAY ANYTHING

ABOUT THE OLD GENTLEMAN THAT WAS AT THE BLUE DRAGON.

LEAVE THAT TO ME.

VERY WELL, MR. PECKSNIFF.

UM...

YOU MAY, UM... TREAT THE YOUNG MAN

TO, UM...

SOME REFRESHMENT.

AND YOURSELF, TOO.

THANK YOU, MR. PECKSNIFF.

WALK ON.

[WHISTLING]

MARK TAPLEY. I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU.

HOW SPRUCE YOU LOOK. AND IT GOOD SPIRITS, TOO, BY THE SOUND OF YOU.

OH, WELL, ANY MAN MAY BE IN GOOD SPIRITS WHEN HE'S WELL-DRESSED.

IF I WAS VERY RAGGED AND VERY JOLLY,

THEN I SHOULD BEGIN TO THINK I'D GAINED A POINT, MR. PINCH.

I'M GOING TO SALISBURY. WILL YOU GET IN?

THANK YOU, MR. PINCH.

WALK ON.

I THOUGHT, SEEING YOU LOOKING SO SMART, MARK,

PERHAPS YOU WERE GOING TO BE MARRIED. NO.

I'M GOING TO LOOK FOR A NEW POSITION.

YOU'RE LEAVING THE BLUE DRAGON? WHY?

THERE'S NO CREDIT TO BE GAINED AT THE DRAGON, SIR.

ANY MAN COULD BE JOLLY THERE.

IT'S THE SNUGGEST, FRIENDLIEST TAVERN IN THE COUNTRY.

FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD, YOU YOURSELF HAVE DONE MUCH TO MAKE IT SO.

YOU ONLY KNOW THE HALF OF IT, SIR.

I DON'T BELIEVE THERE WAS EVER A MAN

AS COULD COME OUT SO STRONG UNDER CIRCUMSTANCES

THAT WILL KEEP OTHER MEN MISERABLE AS I COULD.

IF I COULD ONLY GET A CHANCE.

SO YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK FOR A MISERABLE POSITION.

THAT'S RIGHT, SIR.

I WAS THINKING OF SOMETHING IN THE GRAVE-DIGGING WAY.

GOOD GRACIOUS.

OH, IT'S A GOOD DAMP, WORMY SORT OF BUSINESS,

AND THERE MIGHT BE SOME CREDIT IN BEING JOLLY

WITH ONE'S MIND IN THAT PURSUIT.

ON MY WORD, YOU'RE THE STRANGEST YOUNG MAN

I EVER MET IN MY LIFE.

WHAT DOES MRS. LUPIN THINK ABOUT YOU LEAVING?

I HAVEN'T BROKE IT TO HER YET.

I ALWAYS SUPPOSED YOU AND SHE WOULD MAKE A MATCH OF IT ONE OF THESE DAYS.

SO DID EVERYONE IN THE VILLAGE.

I NEVER SAID NOTHING AS WAS IN A DIRECT WAY COURTING-LIKE TO HER.

NOR SHE TO ME.

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MIGHTN'T SAY ONE OF THESE ODD TIMES

AND WHAT SHE MIGHTN'T SAY IN ANSWER.

WHICH IS ANOTHER REASON WHY I MUST CHANGE MY SITUATION...

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

IF YOU'D JUST DROP ME AROUND THE NEXT BEND, MR. PINCH,

I CAN MAKE MY OWN WAY TO THE CEMETERY.

[LAUGHTER AND CHATTER]

VERY COLD. YES, SIR.

NO, DON'T DISTURB YOURSELF, I BEG.

WE BOTH SEEM TO BE RATHER PARTICULAR ABOUT THE TIME.

THE FACT IS, I HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT TO MEET A GENTLEMAN HERE.

AND SO HAVE I...

AT HALF PAST 1:00. AT HALF PAST 1:00.

I AM EARLY, AS YOU SEE. YOU MUST BE MR. PINCH.

AND YOU MUST BE MR. MARTIN.

I AM VERY GLAD YOU TURN OUT TO BE THE PARTY I WAS EXPECTING.

I WAS THINKING BUT A MINUTE AGO

I COULD WISH HIM TO BE LIKE YOU.

I HAD THE SAME THOUGHT.

YOU AND I WILL GET ON EXCELLENTLY WELL, I KNOW,

WHICH IS NO SMALL RELIEF TO ME,

FOR I'M NOT THE SORT OF FELLOW WHO CAN GET ON WITH EVERYBODY.

DO ME A FAVOR TO RING THE BELL, WOULD YOU?

AND ALLOW ME TO ORDER US A GLASS OF PUNCH APIECE.

WE MAY USHER IN OUR FRIENDSHIP IN A BECOMING MANNER.

WITH ALL MY HEART...

BUT I MUST TREAT YOU, FOR MR. PECKSNIFF BADE ME DO SO.

[RINGS BELL]

PITY. THAT WAS CIVIL OF HIM.

HE'S A SORT OF RELATION OF MINE, YOU KNOW.

NO, I DIDN'T KNOW. IS MARTIN YOUR CHRISTIAN NAME, THEN?

OF COURSE. I WISH IT WERE MY SURNAME,

FOR MINE IS NOT A PRETTY ONE.

IT TAKES A DEVIL OF A TIME TO SIGN.

IT IS CHUZZLEWIT.

INDEED! THEN--

WHAT?

TRULY, YOU'RE NOT SURPRISED AT MY HAVING 2 NAMES?

MOST PEOPLE DO.

NO. HEH.

NO, NOT AT ALL.

[RINGS BELL]

Martin: THAT'S A PRETTY CHURCH.

ISN'T IT? AND IT HAS THE SWEETEST LITTLE ORGAN YOU EVER HEARD.

I PLAY IT FOR THEM.

AND HOW MUCH DO YOU GET PAID FOR THAT?

OH, NOTHING. NOTHING?!

WELL, YOU ARE A STRANGE FELLOW.

WELL, I MEAN, I GET NO MONEY FOR IT.

I'M WELL REWARDED, THOUGH,

BECAUSE I GET A GREAT DEAL OF PLEASURE OUT OF PLAYING...

AND IT LED TO SOMETHING ELSE THE OTHER DAY.

IT LED TO MY SEEING ONE OF THE LOVELIEST FACES

YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE.

A FEMALE ONE, I PRESUME?

SHE CAME FOR THE FIRST TIME VERY EARLY IN THE MORNING,

WHEN IT WAS HARDLY LIGHT.

I ALMOST BELIEVED HER TO BE A SPIRIT.

I SAW HER IN THE MIRROR. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.

I WENT ON PLAYING

SO THAT SHE SHOULD NOT THINK I HAD NOTICED HER,

AND AFTER A WHILE, SHE GLIDED AWAY.

I WENT ON PLAYING UNTIL SHE WAS OUT OF HEARING.

AND DID SHE COME BACK?

INDEED SHE DID... EARLY IN THE MORNING,

SOMETIMES IN THE EVENING, ALWAYS ALONE,

UNTIL THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY, WHEN SHE DIDN'T COME.

AND I HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE.

DIDN'T YOU FOLLOW HER WHEN SHE LEFT THE CHURCH?

NO. WHY SHOULD I DO THAT?

[LAUGHS]

IS IT LIKELY SHE WANTED MY COMPANY?

NO. SHE ONLY CAME TO LISTEN TO THE ORGAN.

I DON'T SUPPOSE I SHALL EVER SEE HER AGAIN.

BUT I SHALL NEVER FORGET HER.

SHE HAD THE SWEETEST FACE YOU EVER SAW.

I DOUBT IT, PINCH.

WHOA.

[THUMP]

[DOOR UNLATCHES]

Pinch: ...WITH HIS DAUGHTERS.

JUST FOLLOW ME, MARTIN.

[APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

MR. CHUZZLEWIT IS HERE, MR. PECKSNIFF.

BLESS MY LIFE! HERE ALREADY.

MARTIN, MY DEAR BOY, I AM DELIGHTED TO WELCOME YOU

TO MY HUMBLE ABODE.

AND I AM VERY PLEASED TO BE HERE.

THESE ARE MY 2 DAUGHTERS, MARTIN,

LIVING REMINDERS TO ME OF THEIR DEAR, DEPARTED MOTHER.

CHARITY, WHO IS SOMETIMES CALLED CHERRY

IN THE INTIMACY OF THE FAMILY CIRCLE...

MISS CHARITY.

AND HER YOUNGER SISTER MERCY,

FAMILIARLY KNOWN AS MERRY, AND VERY APPROPRIATELY, TOO.

OH, PA!

MISS MERCY.

OH.

NAY, NAY, GIRLS.

WHY DO YOU BLUSH WHEN DETECTED IN YOUR EVERYDAY PURSUITS?

CHERRY IS MAKING NIGHTCAPS FOR THE PARISH POOR,

AND MERRY IS DRESSING A DOLL FOR A NEIGHBOR'S CHILD.

WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A PROPER RECEPTION FOR YOU, MARTIN,

IN OUR LITTLE ROOM OF STATE,

BUT I LIKE THIS BETTER.

I LIKE THIS BETTER.

AND HOW HAS OUR FRIEND HERE BEEN USING YOU, MARTIN?

VERY WELL, INDEED, SIR.

WE ARE ON THE VERY BEST OF TERMS, I ASSURE YOU.

TOM PINCH.

HONEST, FAITHFUL TOM PINCH.

HOW MANY YEARS HAVE WE WALKED TOGETHER

DOWN LIFE'S PATHWAY? HMM?

NOT SO MANY THAT WE'VE TIRED

OF EACH OTHER'S COMPANY, I'LL WARRANT, EH, TOM?

OH, NO, SIR. INDEED NOT, SIR.

WELL, WELL.

NOW, MARTIN, SO THAT YOU'LL FEEL AT HOME

WITHIN THESE 4 WALLS,

LET ME SHOW YOU HOW WE LIVE AND WHERE.

THANK YOU.

OUR LITTLE ROOM OF STATE.

VIDELICET, THE BEST PARLOR.

PORTRAIT OF MYSELF.

BY SPILLER.

BUST...BY SPOKER.

A VERY GOOD LIKENESS.

SO OTHERS HAVE TOLD ME.

I SEEM TO RECOGNIZE SOMETHING ABOUT THE--

THE LEFT-HAND CORNER OF THE NOSE, MYSELF.

HMM.

HMM? HMM.

NO.

BUT THEN AGAIN... WHY NOT?

MY DAUGHTERS' ROOM.

A POOR FIRST-FLOOR TO US, BUT A BOWER TO THEM.

VERY NEAT. VERY AIRY.

PLANTS, YOU'LL OBSERVE.

HYACINTHS.

BOOKS...

BIRDS.

CHARMING.

THIS IS A ROOM WHERE SOME TALENT HAS BEEN DEVELOPED, I BELIEVE.

SOME ARCHITECTS HAVE BEEN BRED IN THIS ROOM, EH, MR. PINCH?

[PANTING] YES, MR. PECKSNIFF.

INDEED, SIR.

SOME TRACES OF OUR LABORS HERE, EH, MARTIN?

[CHUCKLES]

SALISBURY CATHEDRAL FROM THE NORTH,

FROM THE SOUTH...

FROM THE EAST...

[CHUCKLES]

FROM THE WEST...

FROM THE SOUTHEAST...

FROM THE NORTHWEST...

PLANS, ELEVATIONS...

OH, EVERY KIND OF THING.

I CAN'T WAIT TO START WORK.

IT WAS VERY GENEROUS OF YOU TO DEFER THE PREMIUM.

OH, EH...

FAMILY FEELING...MARTIN.

FAMILY FEELING.

ONE DAY, YOU'LL BE RESTORED

TO YOUR PROPER STATION IN LIFE, I'M SURE.

WELL...

YOUR OWN ROOM IS NEXT DOOR.

YOU SHARE WITH MR. PINCH.

A SOUTHERN ASPECT...

A CHARMING PROSPECT.

WOULD YOU NOT AGREE, MR. PINCH?

[PANTING]

[ROOSTER CROWS]

AH, GOOD MORNING, MARTIN. MR. PINCH.

GOOD MORNING, SIR.

MISS CHARITY. MISS MERCY.

PRAY, HELP YOURSELF TO BREAKFAST.

THANK YOU.

WOULD YOU BE SO GOOD AS TO PASS ME THE BACON?

MARTIN...

THAT IS MR. PECKSNIFF'S OWN PARTICULAR BACON.

OF COURSE.

I AM SORRY TO DESERT YOU SO SOON AFTER YOUR ARRIVAL, MARTIN,

BUT I AM SUMMONED--MM--

I AM SUMMONED TO LONDON.

Martin: OH. ON BUSINESS.

I UNDERSTAND.

I AM EVEN SORRIER TO DEPRIVE YOU

OF THE COMPANY OF MY FAIR DAUGHTERS.

REALLY, PAPA, WHY SHOULD MR. CHUZZLEWIT MISS US?

BUT I MUST REDEEM A PROMISE TO TAKE THEM WITH ME.

WE TAKE THE MAIL COACH TONIGHT.

INDEED. I HOPE THE YOUNG LADIES WILL ENJOY THEIR TRIP.

WHY, OF COURSE WE SHALL. I CAN'T WAIT.

JUST THINK, CHERRY-- THE PARKS, THE SHOPS!

ARDENT CHILD. HEH HEH HEH.

PERSONALLY, I HAVE NO GREAT DESIRES

FOR THE VANITIES OF LONDON, BUT...

I MUST GO, I SUPPOSE, TO KEEP MERRY COMPANY.

DON'T INSINUATE THAT I AM VAIN, CHERRY.

HA HA HA HA.

BUT, MARTIN, UM--AHEM--

HOW WILL YOU...

OCCUPY YOURSELF WHILE I'M AWAY?

HMM? SUPPOSE YOU GIVE ME YOUR IDEA...

OF A COWHOUSE?

A COWHOUSE?

OR A LAMPPOST?

I HAVE FOUND THAT A LAMPPOST

IS CALCULATED TO REFINE THE MIND

AND GIVE IT A CLASSICAL TENDENCY.

WHATEVER YOU THINK FIT, SIR.

STAY.

SINCE YOU ARE AMBITIOUS AND A VERY NEAT DRAFTSMAN,

AS I'VE SEEN FROM THE SKETCHES YOU'VE SENT ME,

YOU SHALL TRY YOUR HAND AT THESE PROPOSALS

FOR A GRAMMAR SCHOOL,

REGULATING YOUR PLAN TO THE PRINTED PARTICULARS.

MERELY AS A-- AS AN EXERCISE, OF COURSE.

[LAUGHING] UPON MY WORD,

IT SHOULD BE A GREAT AMUSEMENT TO ME

TO SEE WHAT YOU MAKE OF THE GRAMMAR SCHOOL.

MR. PECKSNIFF? YES, MR. PINCH?

SINCE YOU ARE GOING TO LONDON,

I WONDER IF YOU WOULD BE SO GOOD

AS TO DELIVER A LETTER FOR ME TO MY SISTER RUTH.

[GIGGLING]

SHE IS GOVERNESS...

TO A COPPER FOUNDER'S FAMILY IN CAMBERWELL, I BELIEVE.

YES, SIR. SHE WOULD CONSIDER IT A GREAT HONOR

TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE, I KNOW.

WELL, IF MY BUSINESS ENGAGEMENTS PERMIT,

WE WILL CALL UPON HER.

THANK YOU, SIR. YOU ARE VERY KIND.

OH, MR. PINCH, WOULD YOU BE SO GOOD

AS TO CARRY MY TRUNK DOWNSTAIRS WHEN IT IS PACKED?

AND MINE.

OH, YES, TOM, AND TAKE MINE, TOO,

AND PUT THE TRUNKS ON THE GIG, WOULD YOU?

AND TAKE THEM TO THE CROSSROADS IN GOOD TIME.

CERTAINLY, MR. PECKSNIFF.

WHOA. WHOA.

NOW, MIND, ME AND MY SON GO INSIDE

BECAUSE THE ROOF IS FULL,

BUT YOU AGREE TO CHARGE ONLY OUTSIDE PRICES.

IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?

Guard: YES, SIR.

[COUGHING]

OHH.

THAT WAS LUCKY.

IT WAS A GREAT STROKE OF YOURS TO NOTICE THE ROOF WAS FULL.

I COULD NEVER HAVE GONE UP THERE WITH THIS COUGH.

OOH.

[COUGHS]

THERE REALLY IS NO ROOM IN HERE

FOR A GENTLEMAN WITH A COLD IN HIS HEAD.

MINE IS ON ME CHEST, PECKSNIFF.

OH...

OH, I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT I WAS ADDRESSING A STRANGER.

IT'S MR. ANTHONY CHUZZLEWIT, MY DEARS, AND HIS SON JONAS.

I--I--I BEG YOUR PARDON, MR. CHUZZLEWIT. I--

I DID NOT MEAN TO BE RUDE.

I MAY BE A HYPOCRITE, BUT I AM NOT A BRUTE.

AH! WHAT MEANS THAT WORD?

WE'RE ALL HYPOCRITES IN OUR FAMILY.

I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN AT YOUR HOUSE THE OTHER DAY

IF WE WEREN'T.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND THE REST OF US

IS, UH...

SHALL I TELL YOU NOW, PECKSNIFF?

IF YOU PLEASE, SIR.

WHY, THE ANNOYING THING ABOUT YOU

IS YOU NEVER HAVE A PARTNER IN YOUR JUGGLING.

I CONFIDE IN JONAS,

BUT YOU WOULD DECEIVE EVERYBODY

AND HAVE A WAY WITH YOU

AS IF YOU REALLY BELIEVED YOURSELF.

[COUGHING]

I HOPE YOU'RE NOT OFFENDED, PECKSNIFF.

OH, NOT IN THE LEAST, MY DEAR SIR.

BUT I AM SURPRISED

TO FIND YOU AND YOUR SON STILL IN THE COUNTRY.

OH, WE WERE LOOKING AT ONE OR TWO LIKELY INVESTMENTS,

PECKSNIFF, WHILE WE WERE DOWN HERE.

KILLING 2 BIRDS WITH ONE STONE.

AH! HA HA!

HA HA!

SO, YOU'RE GOING TO LONDON, COUSINS?

AHEM. WE ARE COUSINS, YOU KNOW--

OH, A FEW TIMES REMOVED.

[GIGGLING]

YES. PAPA HAS BUSINESS IN TOWN.

I'LL JOIN YOU, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

OHH.

LOTS OF BEAUX IN LONDON, COUSIN.

[GIGGLES] INDEED.

THEY WON'T HURT US, I DARESAY.

MERCY, HOW CAN YOU GO ON SO, YOU WILD THING?

OH, I DON'T MIND. I LIKE A GIRL WITH A BIT OF SPIRIT.

WHAT AN OLD-FASHIONED FRIGHT.

CHERRY, MY DEAR, YOU MUST SIT NEXT TO HIM.

I SHALL DIE IF HE SPEAKS TO ME ANYMORE.

YOU'RE THE SENSIBLE ONE, AIN'T YA?

MERCY IS A LITTLE GIDDY, BUT SHE WILL SOBER DOWN IN TIME.

TAKE A LITTLE MORE ROOM, WHY DON'T YOU?

I DON'T MIND BEING CROWDED BY GIRLS.

[GIGGLING]

AHEM.

OHH.

Charity: WHAT PART OF LONDON IS THIS, PA?

WE ARE QUITE NEAR THE MONUMENT

AND THE GENERAL POST OFFICE, MY DEAR.

Mercy: "TODGERS"?

Pecksniff: MRS. TODGERS IS A MOST RESPECTABLE WIDOW

WITH WHOM I LODGED IN MY BACHELOR DAYS.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[DOGS BARKING]

IS THE HOUSEHOLD STILL ABED, MY MAN?

STILL ABED? I WISH THEY WAS.

THEY'RE ALL A-CALLIN' FOR THEIR BOOTS AT ONCE.

I THOUGHT YOU WAS THE PAPER.

I WONDERED WHY YOU DIDN'T PUSH YOUR WAY THROUGH THE GRATING

AS USUAL.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

KINDLY GIVE THIS TO MRS. TODGERS

AND THEN SEE TO THE LUGGAGE.

IF THERE'S A FIRE IN THE EATING PARLOR,

I KNOW THE WAY THERE MYSELF.

COME, MY DEARS.

Man: HAVE YOU CLEANED MY BOOTS?

Second man: BAILEY!

HOT WATER!

BAILEY!

Third man: THIS WATER'S COLD!

[CLOCK TICKING]

[KEYS JANGLING]

MR. PECKSNIFF!

[GASPS]

MRS. TODGERS.

OHH!

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT...

AFTER SO MANY YEARS?

HOW DO YOU DO, MR. PECKSNIFF?

[LAUGHS]

DON'T TELL ME THESE 2 YOUNG LADIES ARE YOUR DAUGHTERS.

THEY ARE.

CHARITY AND MERCY. CHERRY AND MERRY.

CHARMED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE, MRS. TODGERS.

YES, WE ARE.

MY DEAR MISS PECKSNIFFS.

OHH...

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPY YOUR PA HAS MADE ME.

MRS. TODGERS, I KNOW THE RULES OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT

AND THAT YOU ONLY RECEIVE GENTLEMEN BOARDERS,

BUT PERHAPS, UM...

AS A SPECIAL FAVOR,

YOU COULD GIVE MY DAUGHTERS HOUSEROOM.

WELL, YOU KNOW I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO OBLIGE YOU,

MR. PECKSNIFF.

ANYWHERE WHERE THEY COULD BE COMFORTABLE,

UH, WITHOUT APPEARING AT THE, UM...

GENERAL TABLE.

I THINK I KNOW HOW TO ARRANGE IT.

OHH! HA.

COME, MY DEARS.

LET ME SHOW YOU AT ONCE.

THE GENTLEMEN WILL BE HERE DIRECTLY.

WILL YOU COME, TOO, MR. PECKSNIFF?

NO. NO, NO, NO, NO.

I--I WILL LEAVE THEM IN YOUR...CAPABLE HANDS.

I MUST GO TO THE POST OFFICE AS SOON AS IT OPENS.

Man: BAILEY! HOT WATER!

I WON'T ASK YOU HOW YOU LIKE LONDON YET.

WE--WE HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING OF IT.

IT--IT WAS DARK WHEN--WHEN WE ARRIVED.

Man: BAILEY! WHERE THE DEVIL ARE MY BOOTS?

Bailey: COMING, MR. JINKINS!

OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON, MRS. TODGERS.

GOOD MORNING, MR. JINKINS.

Bailey: HERE YOU ARE AGAIN, THEN.

YOU BE CAREFUL, YOU RUDE BOY!

OHH! OH, EXCUSE ME, MR. MODDLE.

THANK YOU.

HAVE SOME BREAKFAST, MARTIN.

I HAVEN'T ANY APPETITE.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

I'M SORRY, PINCH.

THE FACT IS I'M IN DEUCED LOW SPIRITS.

I HARDLY SLEPT LAST NIGHT.

THEN I MUST CHEER YOU UP.

I DOUBT IF IT'S IN YOUR POWER.

I HAD A PRIVATE CONFERENCE

WITH PECKSNIFF BEFORE HE LEFT.

HE TOLD ME MY GRANDFATHER WAS HERE,

IN THIS VILLAGE, JUST A FEW DAYS AGO.

YES, HE WAS. I DIDN'T MENTION IT

BECAUSE MR. PECKSNIFF SAID HE WANTED TO TELL YOU HIMSELF.

I SUPPOSE YOU KNOW MY GRANDFATHER HAS DISINHERITED ME.

WELL, I HAVE HEARD ALLUSIONS.

MY PARENTS DIED IN MY INFANCY, YOU SEE?

SO DID MINE. DEAR ME.

WELL, AS TO THAT, PINCH, PARENTS ARE ALL VERY WELL IF YOU HAVE THEM,

BUT AS I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF MINE TO SPEAK OF,

I CAN'T GET VERY SENTIMENTAL ABOUT THEM.

I WAS BROUGHT UP BY MY GRANDFATHER,

WHO HAS 2 GREAT FAULTS OF CHARACTER--

HE IS ABOMINABLY SELFISH AND ABOMINABLY OBSTINATE.

I AM SORRY TO HEAR IT.

I HAVE BORNE A GREAT DEAL FROM HIM.

I FELL IN LOVE.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH ONE OF THE SWEETEST, LOVELIEST GIRLS

THE SUN EVER SHONE UPON.

INDEED.

UNFORTUNATELY,

SHE IS WHOLLY AND ENTIRELY DEPENDENT ON MY GRANDFATHER.

HOW IS THAT?

SHE IS A KIND OF PAID COMPANION TO HIM.

SHE IS AN ORPHAN WHOM HE BROUGHT UP TO THE EMPLOYMENT.

ANOTHER ORPHAN. DEAR ME.

YOU KNOW THE YOUNG LADY YOU SAW IN THE CHURCH?

THAT WAS HER. I'M SURE OF IT.

I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT BEFORE YOU SPOKE.

HER NAME IS MARY.

HAVING SEEN HER, YOU WON'T BE SURPRISED I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER.

NO, INDEED.

ANY MAN MIGHT FALL IN LOVE WITH HER AT FIRST SIGHT.

NOT ANY MAN, PERHAPS.

AFTER ALL, SHE HAS NO FORTUNE, NO FAMILY.

SOME MEN WOULD BE PUT OFF BY THAT.

BUT A CHIEF INGREDIENT OF MY CHARACTER IS A MOST DETERMINED...

OBSTINACY?

WHAT A FELLOW YOU ARE...PINCH!

I WAS GOING TO SAY RESOLUTENESS.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

THE DEVIL OF IT WAS I KNEW MY GRANDFATHER

WOULD BE VIOLENTLY OPPOSED TO OUR MARRYING.

WHY?

BECAUSE HE INSISTS

THAT MARY MUST NOT BENEFIT FINANCIALLY FROM HIS DEATH.

THAT'S THE STRANGE CONTRACT BETWEEN THEM.

THAT'S WHY HE TRUSTS HER.

SO YOU COULD NOT DISCLOSE YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER?

OF COURSE I DISCLOSED MY FEELINGS TO HER.

I KEPT THEM FROM MY GRANDFATHER.

BUT HE MUST HAVE SUSPECTED SOMETHING

BECAUSE HE TRIED TO MAKE ME DENY ANY ATTACHMENT TO MARY.

I REFUSED.

WE QUARRELED BITTERLY.

HE TORE UP HIS WILL IN FRONT OF MY FACE.

AND I WALKED OUT OF HIS HOUSE,

VOWING TO BE INDEPENDENT OF HIS WHIMS.

AND THE YOUNG LADY--

SHE RECIPROCATES YOUR FEELINGS?

OF COURSE SHE DOES.

SHE HAD SOME SILLY SCRUPLES AT FIRST,

BUT HER HEART IS MINE.

ALL WILL BE WELL IN TIME,

I HAVE NO DOUBT.

I HAVE NO POWER AT ALL, I NEEDN'T TELL YOU THAT.

BUT IF I COULD EVER BE OF USE TO YOU...

YOU'RE A GOOD FELLOW, PINCH, UPON MY WORD,

AND SPEAK VERY KINDLY.

BUT MERCY ON US,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE A TOASTING-FORK OR A FRYING PAN

FOR ANY HELP YOU CAN RENDER ME.

EXCEPT IN THE INCLINATION.

OH, YES. TO BE SURE.

I VALUE THAT, OF COURSE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OH, WELL, MY DEARS...

DO YOU THINK YOU WILL BE COMFORTABLE?

OH!

MRS. TODGERS, IT'S PERFECT.

OH! HA HA HA!

THE BED IN THE SIDE ROOM IS RATHER SMALL,

BUT I THINK IT WILL SERVE.

AND DURING THE DAY, YOU MUST TREAT MY LITTLE PARLOR

AS YOUR OWN.

YOU ARE TOO KIND, MRS. TODGERS.

IT'S MY PLEASURE.

YOUR PA WAS ONCE A LITTLE PARTICULAR

IN HIS ATTENTIONS... MY DEAR.

BUT TO BE YOUR MA WAS...

TOO MUCH HAPPINESS DENIED ME.

UH...

IS THIS YOUR PORTRAIT, MRS. TODGERS?

OH. IT WAS THOUGHT A LIKENESS ONCE.

BUT PRESIDING OVER AN ESTABLISHMENT LIKE THIS

PLAYS SAD HAVOC WITH THE FEATURES.

THE GRAVY ALONE IS ENOUGH

TO ADD 20 YEARS TO ONE'S AGE, I ASSURE YOU.

LOR!

THERE IS NO PASSION IN HUMAN NATURE

AS THE PASSION FOR GRAVY

AMONGST COMMERCIAL GENTLEMEN.

IT'S NOTHING TO SAY A JOINT WON'T YIELD THE AMOUNT OF GRAVY

THEY EXPECT EACH DAY.

A WHOLE ANIMAL WOULDN'T YIELD IT.

I'VE NOTICED THE SAME APPETITE ON OUR MR. PINCH.

PAPA'S ASSISTANT, YOU KNOW.

[CHOMPING]

[LAUGHS] HE HAS A SISTER

WHO'S A GOVERNESS IN CAMBERWELL.

IF SHE TAKES AFTER HER FATHER,

SHE MUST BE A PERFECT FRIGHT.

[CHARITY AND MERCY LAUGHING]

[MRS. TODGERS LAUGHS]

I AM HERE, MISS PINCH,

IN PURSUANCE OF A PROMISE MADE TO YOUR BROTHER.

THOMAS IS WELL,

AND SENDS HIS LOVE AND THIS LETTER.

OH. THANK YOU, MR. PECKSNIFF.

YOU'RE VERY KIND.

I CANNOT SAY, POOR FELLOW,

THAT HE WILL EVER BE DISTINGUISHED IN OUR PROFESSION,

BUT HE HAS A WILL TO DO WELL,

AND WE MUST BEAR WITH HIM, EH?

I KNOW HE HAS THE WILL, SIR,

AND I KNOW HOW KINDLY YOU CHERISH IT,

FOR WHICH NEITHER HE NOR I CAN BE GRATEFUL ENOUGH.

THE YOUNG LADIES, AS WELL.

I KNOW HOW MUCH WE OWE TO THEM BOTH.

WE CAN'T TAKE ANY MERIT TO OURSELVES, PAPA.

MR. PINCH'S BEING SO WELL PROVIDED FOR

IS OWING TO YOU ALONE.

IT WAS VERY KIND OF YOU ALL TO COME.

AND HOW DO YOU DO, MY VERY INTERESTING YOUNG LADY?

QUITE WELL, THANK YOU.

MISSUS'S COMPLIMENTS TO MISS PINCH,

AND BEGS TO KNOW WHAT MY YOUNG LADY IS A-LEARNING OF JUST NOW.

OH, MY DEARS, WE ARE INTERRUPTING THE STUDIES.

LET US GO.

BE SO KIND AS TO GIVE THIS CARD TO YOUR MASTER.

GOOD-BYE, MISS PINCH.

GOOD-BYE, SIR.

GOOD-BYE, YOUNG LADY.

[DOOR CLOSES]

IF YOU READ THAT LETTER DURING MY LESSONS,

I SHALL TELL MAMA.

A MAN OF SUBSTANCE, CLEARLY.

SUBSTANCE AND TASTE.

WE SHOULD BE GLAD TO MAKE HIS ACQUAINTANCE.

SOMETHING MAY COME OF IT. HMM.

IF YOU LOOK, MY DEARS,

AT THE CORNICE WHICH SUPPORTS THE ROOF,

AND OBSERVE THE AIRINESS OF ITS CONSTRUCTION,

ESPECIALLY AS IT SWEEPS THE SOUTHERN ANGLE OF THE BUILDING,

YOU WILL SEE--

HEY! YOU!

YOUR SERVANT, SIR.

COME OFF THE GRASS!

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

I SAID, COME OFF THE GRASS!

YOU SEE THE GRAVEL, DON'T YOU?

WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S FOR?

WE ARE UNWILLING TO INTRUDE, SIR--

BUT YOU ARE INTRUDING, SIR!

YOU'RE INTRUDING ON MY LAWN

AND MY DAUGHTER'S EDUCATION!

OPEN THE GATE THERE! SHOW THIS PARTY OUT!

[HUMMING]

WHAT'S THE MATTER, MARTIN?

IT'S CONFOUNDEDLY DULL WITH JUST THE TWO OF US HERE.

WELL...

I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.

WHAT'S THAT?

I DIDN'T LIKE TO DISTRACT YOU BEFORE--

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

IS THIS THE GRAMMAR SCHOOL?

WELL, IT'S JUST A ROUGH SKETCH.

I COULD NEVER PRODUCE ANYTHING LIKE THIS

IF I LABORED FOR 10 YEARS.

WHY, EVEN MR. PECKSNIFF HIMSELF--

YOU HAVE A REAL GIFT.

SO I'VE BEEN TOLD. WHAT'S YOUR NEWS, THEN?

I HAD ANOTHER LETTER FROM JOHN WESTLOCK THIS MORNING.

HE HAS COME INTO HIS PROPERTY.

HE'S A LUCKY DOG. I WISH IT WERE MINE.

THERE WAS A DISPUTED WILL, I BELIEVE.

BUT NOW...

"THE EXECUTORS HAVE CASHED UP," HE SAYS.

"AND I'M COMING DOWN TO SALISBURY

TO GIVE YOU A DINNER ON PURPOSE, PINCH, TO CELEBRATE."

NOW, ISN'T THAT KIND?

VERY. FURTHERMORE...

SINCE I WROTE TO HIM THAT THERE WAS A NEW PUPIL HERE

AND WHAT A FINE FELLOW YOU WERE,

AND WHAT FRIENDS WE HAD BECOME,

HE SENDS HIS COMPLIMENTS TO YOU

AND BEGS THAT WE THREE MAY HAVE THE PLEASURE OF DINING TOGETHER

AT THE VERY FIRST HOTEL IN THE TOWN.

VERY WELL.

MUCH OBLIGED TO HIM. I'M AGREEABLE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR] COME IN.

MR. PINCH,

THERE'S A GENTLEMAN ASKING TO SEE YOU.

GOOD MORNING TO YOU GENTS BOTH.

I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR ARCHITECTURAL LABORS.

I'M NOT INDUSTRIOUS MYSELF,

BUT I DO KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE THE QUALITY IN OTHERS.

MY NAME IS TIGG... MONTAGUE TIGG.

MR. PINCH...

NO, I'M MR. PINCH.

THIS IS MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

INDEED.

AHEM. UH...

I'VE, UH...AHEM.

I'VE COME FOR MY LETTER.

WHAT LETTER?

WHY, THE LETTER THAT MY GOOD FRIEND PECKSNIFF

LEFT WITH YOU,

ADDRESSED TO MY COMRADE AND ASSOCIATE

CHEVY SLYME, ESQUIRE.

DID YOU SAY CHEVY SLYME?

I DID INDEED, SIR.

I AM AN AMBASSADOR

FROM THE COURT OF CHIV.

I KNOW OF NO LETTER ADDRESSED TO HIM.

WELL, THE MONEY, THEN.

IT IS NOT SO DELICATELY DONE BY FRIEND PECKSNIFF

AS I COULD HAVE WISHED, BUT 'TIS ALL THE SAME.

THE MONEY?

EXACTLY SO.

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

GENTS BOTH, I WILL TELL YOU.

THERE IS AT THE BLUE DRAGON IN THIS VILLAGE

A COMMON ALE-HOUSE.

AN INDIVIDUAL OF WHOM IT MAY BE SAID,

IN THE LANGUAGE OF THE POET,

THAT NOBODY BUT HIMSELF CAN IN ANY WAY COME UP TO HIM,

WHO IS DETAINED THERE FOR HIS BILL.

HAD IT BEEN FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN A PALTRY BILL,

I COULD HAVE BORNE IT, BUT--

I'M VERY SORRY TO HEAR

OF YOUR FRIEND'S PREDICAMENT, MR. TIGG,

BUT I REALLY DON'T SEE WHAT IT HAS TO DO WITH MR. PECKSNIFF.

WHY, THEY ARE RELATED, SIR!

AS INDEED, I BELIEVE, IS THIS GENTLEMAN HERE.

WELL, AS SOON AS MR. PECKSNIFF RETURNS FROM LONDON--

NO, NO, IT IS VERY URGENT, MR. PINCH.

WOULD YOU MIND LOOKING OUT OF THAT WINDOW?

YOU SEE THAT FELLOW DOWN THERE

IN THE RED NECK CLOTH?

OF COURSE. THAT'S MARK TAPLEY FROM THE BLUE DRAGON.

WELL, MARK TAPLEY NOT ONLY HAD THE GREAT POLITENESS

TO FOLLOW ME TO THIS HOUSE,

BUT IS NOW WAITING TO ESCORT ME BACK TO THE BLUE DRAGON,

FOR WHICH ATTENTION, I CAN TELL YOU, GENTLEMEN,

THAT MARK TAPLEY HAD BETTER BEEN FED TO SUFFOCATION

IN HIS INFANCY BY MRS. TAPLEY

THAN PRESERVED TO THIS TIME!

DEAR ME.

YES.

MARK!

COULD YOU STEP UP HERE FOR A MOMENT PLEASE?

SURE.

HOW MUCH IS THE BILL?

OH, A MERE TRIFLE.

�3.

PINCH...

A WORD WITH YOU.

IT'S TRUE THAT THIS SLYME

IS A RELATION OF MINE--

A NE'ER-DO-WELL

THAT I DON'T WISH TO ASSOCIATE WITH.

HE WOULD BE CHEAPLY GOT RID OF FOR �3,

BUT...UNFORTUNATELY, I AM OUT OF FUNDS...

AT THE MOMENT.

YOU DON'T HAPPEN TO HAVE THAT SUM OF MONEY ABOUT YOU, I SUPPOSE?

HALF A SOVEREIGN'S ALL I HAVE IN THE WORLD.

PITY. I WOULD HAVE BORROWED IT FROM YOU.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

MARK. I'M GLAD YOU'RE STILL AT THE BLUE DRAGON.

NOW, WHAT'S THE MATTER BETWEEN MRS. LUPIN AND THIS GENTLEMAN?

WHAT GENTLEMAN, SIR?

DON'T SEE NO GENTLEMAN HERE, SIR.

WELL, EXCEPTING YOURSELF AND THE NEW GENTLEMAN.

AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG BETWEEN MRS. LUPIN

AND EITHER OF YOU, I THINK.

MARK, YOU SEE MR. TIGG HERE.

OH, HIM.

YES, I SEE HIM.

SHOULD SEE HIM A LITTLE BETTER

IF HE'D SHAVE HIMSELF, GET HIS HAIR CUT.

NOW, MARK, YOU'RE NOT OUT OF TEMPER, I HOPE.

WHY, NO, SIR.

I'M QUITE JOLLY.

THERE'S A LITTLE CREDIT--NOT MUCH-- IN BEING JOLLY,

WITH SUCH FELLOWS AS HIM ROARING ABOUT LIKE LIONS...

IF THERE IS ANY BREED OF LIONS AS IS ALL ROAR AND MANE.

WHAT IS THERE BETWEEN HIM AND MRS. LUPIN, SIR?

WHY, THERE'S A SCORE BETWEEN HIM AND HIS FRIEND AND MRS. LUPIN,

AND I THINK MRS. LUPIN LETS THEM OFF VERY EASY

IN NOT CHARGING THEM DOUBLE PRICES

FOR BEING A DISGRACE TO THE DRAGON.

THAT'S MY OPINION.

I SUPPOSE IF WE WERE TO GUARANTEE

TO THE LANDLADY THAT HER BILL WOULD BE PAID

WHEN MR. PECKSNIFF RETURNS,

THAT WOULD ANSWER THE PURPOSE?

I DARE SAY IT WOULD, SIR.

SHE'D BE GLAD TO SEE THE BACKS OF THEM.

THEN LET US ALL GO DOWN TO THE BLUE DRAGON AND SETTLE THE MATTER.

SPOKEN LIKE A GENTLEMAN.

THOUGH I WOULD ASK ONLY THAT YOU TREAT CHEV WITH DELICACY.

HE HATES TO BE UNDER AN OBLIGATION TO OTHERS.

THERE YOU ARE AGAIN, THEN.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, BAILEY?

JUST PASSING THE TIME OF DAY.

THERE'S SOUP FOR SUPPER TONIGHT.

AIN'T SHE A-PUTTIN' IN THE WATER?

OH, NO. NOT AT ALL, NEITHER.

YOU LITTLE VILLAIN!

BAD, FALSE BOY!

NO WORSE THAN YOURSELF. DO THAT AGAIN, WILL YA?

GO DOWNSTAIRS, YOU VICIOUS BOY!

OHH! HE IS THE MOST DREADFUL CHILD.

THE GENTLEMEN SPOIL HIM SO,

TEACH HIM SUCH THINGS

THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIM.

[SIGHS]

IS YOUR PA OUT?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

MAY I ENTER THIS BOWER OF BLISS?

OH! HA HA!

MR. PECKSNIFF!

PRAY, COME IN.

THANK YOU, MY DEAR.

[SIGHS]

I HAVE A ROUND ROBIN TO DELIVER TO YOU, SIR.

A ROUND ROBIN? FROM WHOM?

FROM MY GENTLEMEN, OF COURSE--

DESIRING THAT YOUR DAUGHTERS,

AS WELL AS YOUR GOOD SELF,

WOULD HONOR THE GENERAL TABLE

WITH YOUR PRESENCE AT DINNER TOMORROW.

OH!

WHAT DO YOU SAY, MY DEARS?

YES, PAPA!

IF YOU THINK IT PROPER, PAPA.

I HAVE NO OBJECTION.

TOMORROW EVENING WILL DO VERY NICELY, MRS. TODGERS.

THEN I'LL GO DOWNSTAIRS,

AND I'LL TELL MR. JINKINS IMMEDIATELY.

HE'S THE MOVING SPIRIT IN THIS.

Pecksniff: MR. JINKINS IS A MAN OF SUPERIOR TALENTS.

I TAKE HIS DESIRE TO PAY POLITE ATTENTION

TO MYSELF AND MY DAUGHTERS...

VERY KINDLY.

YOUR YOUNGEST DAUGHTER IS AS WITTY

AS SHE IS LOVELY, MR. PECKSNIFF.

YOUR VERY GOOD HEALTH.

THANK YOU, SIR.

I'M OBLIGED TO YOU.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE PUNCH!

ALL RIGHT! FINE!

WELL DONE, JINKS.

SET IT ON THE TABLE,

SPLENDID, SPLENDID GOOD BOY.

LADIES, I SEE YOU ARE CONCERNED

AT THE SMALLNESS OF THE BOWL.

REST ASSURED, WE HAVE ENOUGH INGREDIENTS IN RESERVE

TO FILL IT SEVERAL TIMES OVER.

IS IT VERY STRONG?

ABSOLUTELY HARMLESS.

ALLOW ME. THANK YOU.

THERE WE ARE, MISS MERCY. AND MISS CHARITY, MAY I?

Charity: JUST A LITTLE. OF COURSE.

[COUGHS] GOOD HEAVENS, IT NEEDS DILUTING.

Men: NO, NO!

OH, DEAR, I SEEM TO HAVE DROPPED MY NAPKIN.

[RUSTLING]

HERE IT IS, MISS PECKSNIFF,

CAUGHT ON YOUR DRESS.

Mercy: OH, HOW SILLY OF ME.

[SIGHS]

THAT WAS A MELANCHOLY SIGH

FOR SUCH A FESTIVE OCCASION, MR. PECKSNIFF.

I AM A MAN, MRS. TODGERS,

AND A WIDOWER.

THE GAIETY OF THE YOUNG REMINDS ME OF MY LONELINESS.

SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL, MRS. TODGERS.

SHE HAD A SMALL...

PROPERTY.

SO I HAVE HEARD.

YOU ARE LIKE HER, MRS. TODGERS.

DON'T SQUEEZE MY ARM SO, MR. PECKSNIFF.

THE GENTLEMEN MIGHT NOTICE.

MY FEELINGS, MRS. TODGERS,

WILL NOT CONSENT TO BE SMOTHERED

LIKE THE YOUNG CHILDREN IN THE TOWER.

THEY ARE GROWN UP,

AND THE MORE I PRESS THE BOLSTER ON THEM,

THE MORE THEY LOOK ROUND THE CORNER OF IT.

HUSH, SIR, YOU MUSTN'T.

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN. MR. CHUZZLEWIT, THIS SIDE.

THANK YOU.

JOHN...

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR GOOD FORTUNE.

MAY YOU ENJOY THE SAME YOURSELF ONE DAY.

AND YOU, TOO, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

I'LL DRINK TO THAT.

MMM. SO YOU REALLY ARE A GENTLEMAN AT LAST.

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU CARRY YOUR OWN BOX TO THE MAIL NOW.

THAT'S ALL YOU KNOW ABOUT IT.

IT WOULD HAVE TO BE A VERY HEAVY BOX

FOR ME NOT TO CARRY IT TO GET AWAY FROM PECKSNIFF'S.

THERE, I TOLD YOU SO.

THE GREAT FAULT IN JOHN'S CHARACTER IS HIS INJUSTICE TO PECKSNIFF.

YOU MUSTN'T MIND A WORD HE SAYS ON THAT SUBJECT.

HIS PREJUDICE IS MOST EXTRAORDINARY.

THE ABSENCE OF ANYTHING LIKE PREJUDICE ON TOM'S PART, YOU KNOW,

IS PERFECTLY WONDERFUL.

SO I'VE OBSERVED.

IF YOU KNEW MR. PECKSNIFF AS I DO, JOHN,

YOU'D RESPECT AND ADMIRE HIM AS I DO.

YOU COULDN'T HELP YOURSELF.

YOU WOUNDED HIS FEELINGS SORELY WHEN YOU QUARRELED WITH HIM.

IF I'D KNOWN WHERE HIS FEELINGS LAY, TOM,

I'D HAVE TRIED MY BEST WITH THAT END IN VIEW. YOU MAY DEPEND UPON IT.

BUT SINCE I COULD NOT WOUND HIM IN WHAT HE DOES NOT HAVE

AND KNOWS NOTHING OF,

I'M AFRAID I CAN LAY NO CLAIM TO YOUR COMPLIMENT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I CAN'T BEAR IT.

NO, REALLY, I CANNOT. YOU MUST EXCUSE ME, JOHN.

I HAVE A GREAT ESTEEM AND FRIENDSHIP FOR YOU,

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, BUT I CANNOT LISTEN TO THIS.

YOU ARE QUITE RIGHT, AND I AM QUITE WRONG.

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE STUMBLED UPON THIS UNLUCKY THEME.

I BEG YOUR PARDON, TOM.

YOU'VE NO NEED TO ASK MY PARDON.

YOU'VE DONE ME NOTHING BUT KINDNESS.

WELL, THEN PECKSNIFF'S PARDON, ANYBODY'S PARDON,

JUST SO LONG AS YOU WILL SIT DOWN. HERE.

WE WILL DRINK HIS HEALTH. WILL THAT DO?

THANK YOU.

I'LL DRINK TO THAT WITH ALL MY HEART.

PECKSNIFF.

GOD BLESS HIM.

WHEREVER HE IS NOW.

All: MR. PECKSNIFF AND THE MISS PECKSNIFFS.

I AM MOVED.

I AM GREATLY MOVED...

AS A MAN...

AS A WIDOWER...

AS A PARENT.

TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS,

THE ELIGIBLE OPPORTUNITY NOW OFFERS

FOR UNITING THE BEST PRACTICAL ARCHITECTURAL EDUCATION

WITH THE COMF--

NO! NO, NO.

[MEN LAUGH]

NO, WAIT!

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

Pecksniff: NO. UH...

I AM MOVED.

BUT DO NOT REPINE FOR ME.

DO NOT...

WEEP FOR ME, MY FRIENDS.

IT IS...

CHRONIC.

AAH!

OH!

STAND BACK THERE.

GIVE THE MAN ROOM TO BREATHE.

HERE. LET ME LOOSEN HIS COLLAR.

Mercy: OH, PA.

SPEAK TO US. PA!

HOW ARE YOU, SIR?

MOVED.

MUCH MOVED.

IT IS CHRONIC.

[SNORES]

Charity: PA! [GRUNTS]

PA, WAKE UP.

Mercy: DO YOU HEAR US, PA?

GO AWAY. I AM INDISPOSED.

PA, THERE'S A LETTER COME FOR YOU.

SPECIAL DELIVERY!

[GROANING]

GIVE ME THE LETTER.

[READS TO HIMSELF]

THIS MORNING!

WHAT IS IT, PA?

FETCH ME A PINT OF COFFEE,

HOT AND STRONG.

GO!

Pecksniff: THE LETTER WHICH SUMMONED ME TO LONDON

WAS IN FACT FROM HIM,

INTIMATING I COMMUNICATE MY ADDRESS

VIA THE GENERAL POST OFFICE.

HOW HE HAS COME TO CHANGE SO MUCH

IN HIS ATTITUDE TO US, WE NEED NOT INQUIRE.

WE SHALL NOT BE PROUD...

OR RESENTFUL...

OR UNFORGIVING.

AND IF WE CAN BE THE MEANS

OF RECONCILING HIM TO HIS GRANDSON,

THAT WILL BE ITS OWN REWARD...

EH, MY DEARS?

OLD GENTLEMAN TO SEE YOU, MR. PECKSNIFF.

GOOD MORNING, PECKSNIFF.

MR. CHUZZLEWIT!

PARDON ME, MY DEAR SIR,

I WAS QUITE LOST IN DR. WATTS' MORAL SONGS,

ONE OF MY FAVORITE WORKS.

PRAY, SIT DOWN.

THANK YOU.

THAT WILL BE ALL, BAILEY.

ARE YOU UNWELL, PECKSNIFF?

NO. NO, IT IS NOTHING.

JUST A TOUCH OF NEURALGIA

TO WHICH I AM CONSTITUTIONALLY PRONE IN DAMP WEATHER.

BUT YOU, MR. CHUZZLEWIT,

I REJOICE TO SEE THAT YOU ARE QUITE RECOVERED.

I AM VERY WELL, THANK YOU.

I FANCY MY MALADY WAS MORE OF THE MIND THAN THE BODY.

AND YOUR DAUGHTERS?

THEY ARE VERY WELL, I'M GLAD TO SAY.

I SHOULD LIKE TO MEET THEM.

ARE THEY NEAR AT HAND?

Pecksniff: INDEED.

MY OWN DARLINGS, WHERE ARE YOU?

HERE, MY DEAR PAPA.

COME INTO THE DRAWING ROOM IF YOU PLEASE, MY DEAR.

AND BRING YOUR SISTER WITH YOU.

IT WAS GOOD OF YOU TO COME TO LONDON AT MY REQUEST,

AND, I NEED HARDLY ADD, AT MY COST.

AT YOUR COST, SIR.

IT IS NOT MY HABIT TO PUT MY RELATIVES TO ANY PERSONAL EXPENSE

TO GRATIFY MY CAPRICES.

OH, I HARDLY THINK YOU WOULD INDULGE

IN CAPRICES, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

NO, YOU ARE RIGHT.

I AM NOT A CAPRICIOUS MAN.

I NEVER WAS.

AH, HERE ARE YOUR DAUGHTERS.

MR. CHUZZLEWIT HAS DONE US THE HONOR OF A VISIT, MY DEARS.

CHARITY AND MERCY, MY DEAR SIR.

MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

PERHAPS YOU HAD BETTER WRITE YOUR NAMES DOWN FOR MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

YOUR HUMBLE AUTOGRAPHS ARE OF NO VALUE IN THEMSELVES,

BUT FAMILY AFFECTION MAY PRIZE THEM.

YOU NEED NOT TROUBLE YOURSELVES, GIRLS.

I SHALL NOT FORGET CHARITY AND MERCY.

I FEAR I WAS SOMEWHAT LACKING IN BOTH VIRTUES WHEN WE LAST MET.

OH, MY NOBLE SIR, SAY NOTHING MORE OF IT.

YOU WERE UNWELL. YOU WERE NOT YOURSELF.

DID I NOT SAY, MY DEARS, AT THE TIME,

"HE KNOWS NOT WHAT HE DOES"?

OH, YES, PAPA. OH, YES, PAPA.

THAT WAS GENEROUS OF YOU, COUSIN.

AND IT WAS GENEROUS OF YOU TO DRAW OFF THAT HERD OF HARPIES FROM ME

AND BE THEIR VICTIM YOURSELF.

HARPIES, SIR?

MY RELATIVES. YOU FELT FOR ME

AND DREW THEM OFF WHILE I MADE MY ESCAPE,

FOR WHICH I OWE YOU MANY THANKS.

OH, BUT-- NO. SH--

IT WAS NOTHING, SIR.

DO YOU EVER SIT DOWN, PECKSNIFF?

WHY...YES...SIR,

OCCASIONALLY.

WILL YOU SIT DOWN NOW...

AND YOUR GIRLS, TOO?

SIT.

CAN YOU ASK US, DEAR MR. CHUZZLEWIT,

WHETHER WE WILL DO ANYTHING THAT YOU DESIRE?

ON THAT EARLIER OCCASION,

YOU SPOKE TO ME ON BEHALF OF A YOUNG RELATIVE OF MINE.

QUITE DISINTERESTEDLY, I ASSURE YOU.

I DO NOT DOUBT IT.

THE YOUNG MAN HAS SINCE JOINED YOUR HOUSEHOLD, I BELIEVE.

THAT IS TRUE. YES.

I FEAR HE HAS DECEIVED YOU...

AS HE DECEIVED ME.

IN WHAT WAY?

CLEARLY YOU ARE UNAWARE

THAT HE HAS ALREADY MADE HIS MATRIMONIAL CHOICE.

OHH, NOT WITHOUT HIS GRANDFATHER'S CONSENT AND APPROBATION?

YOU CANNOT MEAN THAT.

IN THE TEETH OF MY EXPRESS DISAPPROVAL.

SHE IS SOMEONE QUITE UNSUITABLE.

OHH.

HAVE I NOURISHED SUCH A VIPER IN MY BOSOM?

HAVE I UNWITTINGLY EXPOSED MY INNOCENT DAUGHTERS

TO HIS...CONTAMINATION?

I'M AFRAID YOU HAVE.

YOU MUST EXPEL HIM.

CONSIDER IT DONE!

[PIECES DROP]

THERE IS ANOTHER FAVOR I HAVE TO ASK YOU.

ASK, MY DEAR SIR, ASK AWAY.

DO YOU REMEMBER MARY GRAHAM?

OH, INDEED.

THE YOUNG LADY I MENTIONED TO YOU, MY DEARS,

AS HAVING INTERESTED ME SO VERY MUCH.

SILLY GIRLS, THEY WERE QUITE MOVED BY HER HISTORY.

I'M CONCERNED ABOUT HER.

IT'S A HARD LIFE FOR A YOUNG WOMAN

LOOKING AFTER A CRUSTY OLD MAN LIKE ME,

WITH NO FEMALE SOCIETY,

NO PERMANENT HOME.

OH, MY DEAR SIR, SAY NO MORE.

CONSIDER MY HUMBLE ABODE YOUR OWN.

VISIT US WHENEVER YOU PLEASE.

ARE YOU SINCERE?

OH...

YOU WOULD RECEIVE HER COURTEOUSLY, YOUNG LADIES,

AND BE KIND TO HER?

OF COURSE WE SHOULD, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

I AM DYING TO MEET HER.

THEN I ACCEPT YOUR GENEROUS OFFER.

I AM...

OVERJOYED.

WILL YOU HAVE A GLASS OF THIS PORT WINE, MR. CHUZZLEWIT,

AND A MORSEL OF THIS HOMELY CAKE?

THANK YOU.

IT MAY BE SOME LITTLE WHILE BEFORE MARY AND I CAN VISIT YOU.

I FEAR YOU WILL BE SUBJECTED TO MUCH CALUMNY

FROM THE REST OF THE FAMILY

WHEN OUR NEW RELATIONSHIP BECOMES KNOWN.

WE SHALL NOT CARE, SIR.

THEY WILL SAY THAT, TO PUNISH MY GRANDSON FOR HIS INGRATITUDE,

AND THEMSELVES FOR THEIR GREED,

THAT I CHOSE FROM AMONG THEM THE VERY WORST

AND PAMPERED AND ENRICHED HIM

AT THE COST OF ALL THE REST.

CAN YOU BEAR THAT?

OH, MY--MY DEAR MR. CHUZZLEWIT,

FOR A MAN SUCH AS YOU HAVE SHOWN YOURSELF TO BE THIS DAY,

FOR A MAN SO...

UH...

I--I AM AT A LOSS...

TO KNOW WHAT PRECISE TERM TO USE.

FOR SUCH A MAN, I AND MY DAUGHTERS,

WOULD BEAR ANYTHING WHATEVER.

I THANK YOU...

FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

I LITTLE THOUGHT A MONTH AGO

THAT I SHOULD BE BREAKING BREAD AND POURING WINE...

[CHUCKLES]

WITH YOU.

HA HA HA.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHING]

BYE-BYE!

SEE YOU SOON!

BYE! BYE!

GOOD-BYE, MR. CHUZZLEWIT!

GOOD-BYE!

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR] COME IN!

GENTLEMAN DOWNSTAIRS FOR MISS CHARITY PECKSNIFF.

FOR ME?

OH, MY GRACIOUS.

AH, WOULDN'T I BE GRACIOUS, NEITHER.

NOT IF I WAS HIM. HA!

OH, DON'T BE ABSURD, BAILEY.

I--I DON'T KNOW ANY GENTLEMEN IN LONDON.

THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.

DON'T YOU THINK SO, MERRY?

OBVIOUSLY.

YOU NEED NOT BE QUITE SO POSITIVE, MERRY.

YOU NEED NOT PRESUME YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD

TO ATTRACT THE ATTENTION OF GENTLEMEN.

I WILL SEE THE VISITOR.

SHOW HIM INTO THE DRAWING ROOM.

AHEM!

AH. COUSIN.

HERE I AM, YOU SEE.

HOW DO YOU FIND YOURSELF?

QUITE WELL, THANK YOU.

AND HOW'S THE OTHER ONE?

WELL, I BELIEVE.

HMM. DID YOU THINK I WAS LOST

SINCE WE LAST MET?

I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT YOU AT ALL.

AH, HEH HEH HEH.

AND WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER ONE?

I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW. WOULD YOU LIKE TO ASK HER YOURSELF?

NO. THERE'S NO CAUSE FOR THAT.

SIT DOWN.

SHE'D ONLY LAUGH AT ME, ANYWAY.

SHE'S A TERROR FOR LAUGHING, ISN'T SHE?

MERCY IS RATHER LIVELY. HA HA HA.

WELL, LIVELINESS CAN BE A PLEASANT THING...

WHEN IT DON'T NEED SPENDING MONEY.

THAT'S YOUR KIND OF LIVELINESS, I THINK.

HA HA HA.

I SHOULD HAVE CALLED ON YOU BEFORE,

BUT, UM... I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE YOU WERE STAYING

TILL I HAPPENED TO MEET YOUR PA IN THE STREET THIS MORNING.

WHAT A SLEEK, SLY CHAP HE IS.

BIT LIKE A TOMCAT, AIN'T HE?

REALLY, MR. JONAS, I CANNOT ALLOW YOU

TO SPEAK OF MY FATHER SO...

DISRESPECTFULLY, EVEN IN JEST.

ECOD! YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU LIKE OF MY FATHER.

I THINK IT'S LIQUID AGGRAVATION

THAT RUNS THROUGH HIS VEINS, NOT REGULAR BLOOD.

HOW OLD SHOULD YOU THINK HE WAS?

WELL...I REALLY COULDN'T SAY. UH--

80! INDEED?

HMM.

OH, A FINE OLD AGE.

FINE OLD AGE? WHERE'S HIS RELIGION, I'D LIKE TO KNOW,

WHEN HE FLIES IN THE FACE OF THE BIBLE LIKE THAT?

3 SCORE AND 10-- THAT'S THE MARK.

AND NO MAN WITH A CONSCIENCE AND A PROPER SENSE OF DUTY

HAS ANY RIGHT TO LIVE ANY LONGER.

[LAUGHING] OH. TUT, TUT.

[SNORTS] OH.

YES, WELL...

ENOUGH OF HIM.

I CALLED ROUND TO SEE IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO...

TAKE A WALK...

SEE SOME OF THE SIGHTS...

COME BACK TO OUR HOUSE AFTERWARDS AND...

HAVE A BIT OF SOMETHING.

PECKSNIFF WILL...

COME ROUND LATER AND BRING YOU HOME.

HERE'S HIS NOTE.

YOU'LL BRING THE OTHER ONE, YOU KNOW,

FOR APPEARANCES' SAKE.

MM.

[VENDOR YELLS]

[VENDOR YELLS]

[GIGGLING]

I DECLARE, I CAN'T WALK ANOTHER STEP.

YOU'RE ALWAYS COMPLAINING, MERRY.

CAN'T WE TAKE A CAB?

YOU DON'T WANT TO WASTE MONEY ON CABS.

YOU SEE THE SIGHTS BETTER ON FOOT.

WHAT SIGHTS?

ANYWAY, WE'RE NEARLY THERE.

JUST ALONG HERE.

THIS IS YOUR HOME?

YES. WE LIVE ABOVE THE SHOP, YOU MIGHT SAY.

SHALL WE GO IN?

[BELL TOLLING]

CHUZZLEWIT.

WHAT THE DEVIL DO YOU WANT?

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

NOT NOW. CAN'T YOU SEE I'VE GOT COMPANY?

WHEN, THEN?

TOMORROW AT THE TAVERN.

USUAL TIME.

DON'T FORGET TO BRING THE MONEY.

THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO--

[DOOR OPENS]

HERE, YOU, UM...

SIT ON MY RIGHT SIDE, COUSIN.

AND I'LL HAVE THE OTHER ONE ON MY LEFT.

WILL YOU COME HERE, OTHER ONE?

Maid: AHEM, AHEM.

I SUPPOSE I MUST,

THOUGH YOU'RE ENOUGH TO TAKE AWAY ONE'S APPETITE.

HA HA. AIN'T SHE LIVELY?

I REALLY DON'T KNOW. I'M SICK AND TIRED

OF BEING ASKED SUCH RIDICULOUS QUESTIONS.

WHAT'S MY AGGRAVATING FATHER DOING NOW?

I LOST ME GLASSES, JONAS.

[SIGHS] WELL, SIT DOWN WITHOUT THEM.

YOU DON'T NEED YOUR GLASSES TO EAT AND DRINK.

AND WHERE'S THAT OLD CHUFFEY?

CHUFFEY!

Jonas: OUR CLERK-- OLD CHUFFEY.

[WINE POURING]

IS HE BLIND?

NO.

I DON'T THINK HE'S BLIND. IS HE, FATHER?

CERTAINLY NOT.

IS HE DEAF?

NO, I DON'T KNOW THAT HE'S DEAF.

WELL, WHAT IS HE, THEN?

WELL, HE'S PRECIOUS OLD, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

I THINK MY FATHER MUST HAVE CAUGHT IT OFF HIM.

AND HE DON'T UNDERSTAND HARDLY ANYONE

EXCEPT HIM.

[SIGHS]

HE'S BEEN A BOOKKEEPER ALL HIS LIFE.

HA HA HA HA.

[SIGHING] OH.

20 YEARS AGO,

HE WENT AND TOOK A FEVER.

AND ALL THE TIME THAT HE WAS ILL,

HE NEVER LEFT OFF ADDING UP.

AND HE GOT TO SO MANY MILLIONS AT LAST

THAT I DON'T THINK HE'S EVER BEEN QUITE RIGHT IN THE HEAD SINCE.

HELP YOURSELVES TO VEGETABLES.

AREN'T YOU GOING TO SERVE HIM?

WELL, HE'LL EAT WHEN HE'S HELPED.

HE DON'T MIND IF HE WAITS A MINUTE OR AN HOUR. HA HA.

AND WHEN I'M SHARP SET, LIKE I AM TODAY,

I COME TO HIM AFTER I'VE TAKEN THE EDGE OFF MY APPETITE.

HA HA.

ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR DINNER, CHUFFEY?

ASK HIM, WILL YOU, FATHER?

ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR DINNER, CHUFFEY?!

YES, YES. QUITE READY, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

QUITE READY, SIR.

ALL READY. ALL READY. ALL READY.

HE'LL BE MOST DISAGREEABLE. HA HA HA.

HE NORMALLY CHOKES IF IT AIN'T BROTH.

HA HA HA! HA HA!

DID YOU EVER SEE SUCH A WALLEYED EXPRESSION

AS HE'S GOT?

I WASN'T GONNA LET HIM COME TODAY,

BUT I THOUGHT HE MIGHT AMUSE YOU.

EH, HE'S BETTER THAN THE WAXWORKS,

AND NO CHARGE FOR ADMISSION. HA HA!

HA HA!

HA HA HA!

HA HA! UHH!

THEY RETURN TOMORROW MORNING BY THE OVERNIGHT COACH.

INDEED?

MR. PECKSNIFF WISHES TO BE MET AT THE CROSSROADS

WITH THE GIG AND A CART FOR THE LUGGAGE...

AT 6:00.

YOU NEED NOT COME WITH ME.

NO.

I'LL KEEP YOU COMPANY.

THAT'S VERY KIND.

YOU'RE AN HONEST FELLOW, TOM.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I'M A FAMOUS ARCHITECT,

I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU INTO MY EMPLOY.

NO. REALLY? YES.

YOU COULD BE USEFUL TO ME IN 100 WAYS--

OVERSEEING THE CONSTRUCTION OF MY BUILDINGS,

RECEIVING CLIENTS,

KEEPING THE BOOKS, LIKE YOU DO FOR PECKSNIFF.

OF COURSE, I'LL BE MARRIED BY THEN.

OF COURSE.

AND MARY WOULD LIKE YOU.

I'M SURE SHE WOULD.

SHE'D SMILE WHEN FIRST SHE MET YOU, BUT YOU WOULDN'T MIND THAT.

NO, I WOULDN'T MIND THAT.

THE BRIGHTEST SMILE YOU EVER KNEW.

AND ONCE SHE GOT TO KNOW YOU PROPERLY,

SHE'D TAKE TO YOU UNCOMMONLY,

NEVER TIRE OF TELLING ME WHAT A HARMLESS, GENTLE,

WELL-INTENTIONED FELLOW YOU ARE.

I MUST GET ON WITH MY BOOKKEEPING.

SO YOU'RE GOING HOME, WORSE LUCK?

YES, BAILEY, WE'RE GOING HOME.

AIN'T YOU GONNA LEAVE NONE OF THE GENTS A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR?

HA HA HA HA!

CERTAINLY NOT.

IT'S REAL, AIN'T IT?

OF COURSE IT'S REAL.

HERS AIN'T. WHY, I SEEN IT HANGING UP ONCE

ONE THE NAIL BY THAT WINDOW.

HA HA HA HA!

HEH HEH HEH.

I SAY, YOUNG LADIES...

WHATEVER YOU MEAN TO GIVE ME,

YOU'D BETTER GIVE ME ALL AT ONCE.

IF YOU EVER COME BACK, I WON'T BE HERE.

WHY NOT?

YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE MRS. TODGERS?

I AIN'T GONNA STAND BEING CALLED NAMES BY HER NO LONGER,

NOR BEING KNOCKED ABOUT WHEN THE GENTLEMEN'S APPETITES ARE SHARP.

IT AIN'T MY FAULT IF THEY CONSUME THE PROVISIONS, IS IT?

BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO?

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE I'LL JOIN THE ARMY AS A DRUMMER BOY.

I FANCY MYSELF IN A UNIFORM.

YOU'LL GET YOURSELF SHOT.

I'D RATHER BE SHOT WITH A CANNONBALL THAN HIT WITH A ROLLING PIN.

WELL, BAILEY...

YOU'VE BEEN AN ENTERTAINMENT TO US,

I MUST ADMIT.

HERE YOU ARE. UHH...

OH. HEH HEH.

AND HERE.

OHH. COR!

THANKS, YOUNG LADIES.

OHH.

[LAUGHING]

Men boarders: � GO WHERE THE GLORY �

WHAT'S THAT?

� WAITS THEE �

� BUT WHILE FAME ELATES THEE �

� OH, STILL REMEMBER ME �

� WHEN THE PRAISE THOU MEETEST �

� TO THINE EAR IS SWEETEST �

� OH, THEN REMEMBER ME �

� OTHER ARMS MAY PRESS THEE �

� DEARER FRIENDS CARESS THEE �

� ALL THE JOYS THAT BLESS THEE �

� SWEETER FAR MAY BE... �

JONAS IS A SHREWD LAD.

HE APPEARS TO BE VERY SHREWD.

I TAUGHT HIM THE FIRST RULE OF BUSINESS--

"DO OTHER MEN, OR THEY WOULD DO YOU."

HA HA HA HA!

AND HE'S CAREFUL, TOO.

WITH MONEY, I MEAN.

AN ADMIRABLE QUALITY, I'M SURE.

LOOK YE, PECKSNIFF, I THINK HE'S SWEET UPON YOUR ELDEST DAUGHTER.

OH, TUT-TUT, SIR.

YOUNG PEOPLE, YOUNG PEOPLE, NO MORE THAN THAT.

BUT WHAT IF IT SHOULD BE MORE?

OH, HO HO.

OH, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY--

THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF IT FOR A MOMENT,

AND IN MATTERS AFFECTING THE HAPPINESS OF YOUR DAUGHTER,

YOU COULDN'T EXPRESS AN OPINION, ET CETERA, ET CETERA.

HA HA HA HA HA.

BUT YOU'VE FEATHERED YOUR NEST PRETTY WELL...

AND SO HAVE I.

OUR FAMILIES ARE LIKE 2 HALVES OF A PAIR OF SCISSORS.

TOGETHER WE MIGHT DO SOMETHING.

I WILL PONDER VERY CAREFULLY WHAT YOU'VE SAID.

THANK YE, PECKSNIFF.

GOOD-BYE, MRS. TODGERS.

AND THANK YOU AGAIN.

OH...

MR. PECKSNIFF.

Men boarders: � BUT WHEN FRIENDS ARE NEAREST �

� AND WHEN JOYS ARE DEAREST �

� OH, THEN REMEMBER ME �

HERE IT COMES!

AT LAST.

Driver: WHOA! WHOA!

MR. PINCH.

DEAR ME, HAVE YOU COME TO MEET US IN PERSON

ON THIS VERY INCLEMENT MORNING?

YES, SIR. AND MR. CHUZZLEWIT, TOO, SIR.

GOOD MORNING, SIR.

BE SO KIND AS TO SEE TO THE TRUNKS, MR. PINCH, IF YOU PLEASE.

YES, SIR.

GOOD MORNING, LADIES.

Pecksniff: WALK ON.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

AH, MR. PINCH, COME IN.

TAKE SOME TEA.

AHEM.

YOU MUST BE VERY DAMP AND COLD.

THANK YOU, SIR.

PRAY, BE SEATED, MR. PINCH.

SO, HOW HAVE THINGS GONE ON IN OUR ABSENCE?

YOU WILL BE MUCH PLEASED WITH MARTIN'S--

MR. CHUZZLEWIT'S DESIGNS FOR THE GRAMMAR SCHOOL.

NEVER MIND THAT NOW. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING, MR. PINCH?

MR. PECKSNIFF, IF YOU HAVE QUITE RECOVERED YOURSELF,

I WOULD BE GLAD TO HEAR WHAT YOU MEAN BY THIS TREATMENT OF ME.

HMM? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING, TOM?

Martin: DO ME THE FAVOR OF ANSWERING MY QUESTION.

I WILL TALK TO YOU, SIR, IN DUE COURSE.

NOW! IN DUE COURSE WILL NOT DO! NOW!

DO YOU THREATEN ME?

I LAMENT TO SAY IT WOULD BE ENTIRELY CONSISTENT

WITH YOUR CHARACTER.

YOU HAVE DECEIVED ME.

YOU HAVE OBTAINED ADMISSION TO MY HOUSE ON FALSE PRETENSES.

GO ON. I THINK I UNDERSTAND THIS. WHAT MORE?

THIS MUCH MORE SINCE YOU FORCE ME TO PUBLISH YOUR SHAME

BEFORE A THIRD PARTY.

NOT ONLY HAVE YOU DECEIVED ME,

YOU'VE DECEIVED AN HONORABLE, BELOVED,

VENERATED, VENERABLE GENTLEMAN--

YOUR OWN GRANDFATHER.

I THOUGHT SO. YOU'VE WORMED YOUR WAY INTO HIS CONFIDENCE, HAVE YOU?

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST,

YOU HAVE DECEIVED MY DAUGHTERS

AND EXPLOITED THEIR INNOCENT TRUST.

YOUR DAUGHTERS? DO YOU PRETEND

THAT I EVER SHOWED THEM ANYTHING MORE THAN COMMON COURTESY,

IN SPITE OF YOUR PUFFING THEIR ATTRACTIONS TO ME AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY?

BE GONE, SIR! I CANNOT HAVE A SERPENT AND A LEPER

AS AN INMATE OF MY HOUSE.

MARTIN, DON'T DO SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET.

PAH! DO YOU THINK I WOULD SOIL MYSELF

BY LAYING MY HANDS ON HIM? LOOK AT HIM THERE!

THE FLOOR IS THE RIGHT PLACE FOR HIM.

HE'S A MAT FOR DIRTY FEET,

A CLOTH FOR DIRTY HANDS.

MARK MY WORDS. DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T HEAR ME.

THE DAY WILL COME WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD--

EVEN THIS POOR DELUDED, EXPLOITED FELLOW HERE--

WILL KNOW WHAT A HYPOCRITE YOU ARE.

[DOOR SLAMS]

MARTIN!

MARTIN!

WHAT NOW?

ARE YOU GOING, MARTIN?

GOING?! GOING?!

LEAVING AT ONCE, I MEAN, IN THIS WEATHER, ON FOOT, WITH NO MONEY?

YES, I AM!

TAKE THIS WITH YOU.

A BOOK? YES.

LOOK LATER WHERE I HAVE TURNED DOWN THE PAGE.

IT MAY LIFT YOUR SPIRITS A LITTLE.

WHERE WILL YOU GO?

LONDON, FIRST, THEN WHO KNOWS?

WHEREVER OPPORTUNITY BECKONS.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES AND OTHER THINGS?

PACK THEM UP AND SEND THEM TO LONDON, WOULD YOU,

TO BE CALLED FOR AT THE COACH OFFICE?

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? I DON'T KNOW!

YES, I DO. I'LL GO TO AMERICA AND MAKE MY FORTUNE.

NOT AMERICA, MARTIN.

YOUR SITUATION ISN'T THAT DESPERATE.

GOOD-BYE, TOM.

YOU'RE DETERMINED TO LEAVE US THEN, MARK...

EVEN IN THIS WEATHER?

THERE'S A CARTER FROM SALISBURY WHO'S GOING TO LONDON TODAY.

SAID HE'D TAKE ME FOR 6 SHILLINGS.

WHAT WILL YOU DO IN LONDON?

DON'T KNOW EXACTLY. SOMETHING WILL TURN UP.

I THOUGHT YOU WAS FOND OF THE DRAGON.

WELL, SO I AM.

WHY DO YOU LEAVE US THEN?

I DON'T KNOW HOW I SHALL MANAGE WITHOUT YOU, I'M SURE.

DANIEL EVANS WILL DO THE HEAVY WORK.

HE'S A GOOD MAN.

WON'T BE THE SAME, THOUGH.

WOULD YOU TAKE SOMETHING BEFORE YOU GO?

WHAT'LL IT BE?

WHY, IF I TOOK WHAT I LIKE MOST...

I'D TAKE YOU.

AND NO MAN WOULDN'T WONDER IF I DID.

OH, MARK TAPLEY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

IF THERE'S A BONNIER WOMAN IN THE WHOLE VILLAGE,

I'D LIKE TO SEE HER. OR A KINDER.

BLESS MY SOUL IF I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WANT.

I'LL BE PLAIN WITH YOU, THEN.

AS LONG AS IT'S UNDERSTOOD, I AIN'T MAKING NO LOVE, YOU KNOW?

QUITE UNDERSTOOD.

HADN'T YOU BETTER TAKE YOUR ARMS AWAY THEN?

WHY? THEY AIN'T DOING NO HARM, ARE THEY?

LET ME ASK YOU...

WHAT WOULD BE THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR GETTING MARRIED?

I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO TALK SUCH FOOLISHNESS.

I'D BE THE ENVY OF EVERY MAN IN THE PARISH.

I'D NEVER HAVE A REASON TO LEAVE THE DRAGON

IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

THEN WHY GO NOW?

I WANT TO TRY MYSELF...

FIND OUT WHAT I'M MADE OF, DO YOU SEE?

IF WE WERE TO MARRY, YOU'D ALWAYS BE ON THE FRET,

WORRYING YOU WERE GETTING TOO OLD FOR MY TASTE,

AND A-PICTURING ME TO YOURSELF CHAINED UP TO THE DRAGON DOOR,

WANTING TO BREAK AWAY.

I DON'T KNOW, BUT...

BUT IT MIGHTN'T BE TRUE,

SO I'M GOING NOW...

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, MARK.

I BELIEVE YOU'VE BEEN A BETTER FRIEND TO ME THIS DAY

THAN I'VE EVER HAD IN ALL MY LIFE.

THAT'S NONSENSE.

Man outside: WHOA!

THERE'S THE CARTER.

GOOD-BYE, DEAR LADY.

STILL RAINING.

WELL... IT'LL BE MY FIRST TEST

TO REMAINING JOLLY UNDER TRYING CONDITIONS.

GOOD-BYE, MRS. LUPIN.

GOOD-BYE, MARK.

GOD BLESS YOU.

[TAPS TWICE WITH CANE]

Carter: WALK ON TOGETHER.

YOU SEE, ORNAMENTAL ARCHITECTURE

APPLIED TO DOMESTIC PURPOSES

CAN HARDLY FAIL TO BE IN GREAT DEMAND IN AMERICA,

FOR MEN ARE CONSTANTLY MOVING WESTWARDS THERE,

AND NEW TOWNS MUST BE BUILT TO ACCOMMODATE THEM.

I SHOULD SAY, SIR, THAT'S A STATE OF THINGS

AS OPENS ONE OF THE JOLLIEST LOOKOUTS FOR DOMESTIC ARCHITECTURE

AS I'VE EVER HEARD TELL ON.

AND ALTHOUGH I AM NOT--

STRICTLY SPEAKING-- QUALIFIED YET,

I HAVE DEMONSTRATED A NATURAL APTITUDE FOR ARCHITECTURAL DESIGN,

AND THE AMERICANS ARE NOT LIKELY TO BE OVERPARTICULAR ON THAT SCORE.

THEY DURSN'T BE, SIR, FOR THEIR OWN GOOD.

SOME MORE CHEESE?

IF YOU'RE SURE YOU HAVE ENOUGH. THANK YOU.

FROM ALL I HEAR, AMERICA'S A PLACE

WHERE A MAN MIGHT EARN SOME CREDIT FOR BEING JOLLY.

MIGHT I BE SO BOLD AS TO ASK YOU, SIR,

WHY YOU'RE GOING SO SOON,

INSTEAD OF STAYING AT MR. PECKSNIFF'S?

WELL...

NOW, WHEN MY GRANDFATHER, OLD MR. CHUZZLEWIT,

STAYED AT THE BLUE DRAGON,

DID YOU HAVE ANY DEALINGS WITH THE YOUNG LADY WHO ACCOMPANIED HIM?

MISS GRAHAM? INDEED I DID.

SWEETER YOUNG LADY NEVER BREATHED.

YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH, TAPLEY.

SHE IS THE REASON

WHY I'M SEEKING MY FORTUNE IN AMERICA.

INDEED, SIR. YES.

UM, ARE THERE LODGINGS HERE, SIR?

OH, YES. GO ON INSIDE.

HOW MUCH IS IT?

9 SHILLING A WEEK WITH COALS.

I'LL TAKE IT.

CASH IN ADVANCE, SIR.

OH, UH...

I SHALL HAVE TO, UH...

WOULD YOU KEEP IT FOR ME? I'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR.

THANK YOU.

SPARE A SHILLING, SIR?

SPARE A SHILLING?

SPARE A SHILLING, SIR?

SPARE A SHILLING?

SPARE A SHILLING?

SPARE A SHILLING?

SPARE A SHILLING?

SPARE A SHILLING, SIR? SPARE A SHILLING?

Tigg: HOW MUCH WILL YOU GIVE ME FOR THIS SHIRT, DAVID?

Pawnbroker: WHAT I ALWAYS GIVE YOU FOR IT--2 SHILLINGS.

Tigg: OH, MAKE IT 2 SHILLINGS AND SIXPENCE, DAVID.

IT'S A KIND OF MATERIAL THAT IMPROVES WITH AGE.

Pawnbroker: HA. A FLORIN.

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

PLEASE TO GIVE ME THE MOST YOU CAN FOR THIS WATCH.

I THOUGH I RECOGNIZED THE VOICE, BY GAD.

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST TREMENDOUS MEETINGS

IN ANCIENT OR MODERN HISTORY. HOW ARE YOU, SIR?

WHAT NEWS OF THE AGRICULTURAL DISTRICTS?

NOTHING I WISH TO COMMUNICATE TO YOU.

I UNDERSTAND YOUR RESERVE, SIR.

OUR LAST MEETING WAS NOT AUSPICIOUS.

BUT I'VE PARTED FROM SLYME. MY TALENTS WERE WASTED ON HIM, YOU KNOW?

IT MATTERS VERY LITTLE TO ME

WHETHER YOU HAVE SET UP AS A VAGABOND ON YOUR OWN ACCOUNT

OR ARE STILL TRADING ON BEHALF OF MR. SLYME.

YOU'RE INVOLVED IN A LITTLE TRADE YOURSELF,

I SEE, SIR.

YES, WELL...

UH, I'M GOING ABROAD ON A...

SORT OF TOUR.

I NEED TO SUPPLEMENT MY FUNDS.

WELL, YOU COULDN'T HAVE COME TO A BETTER PLACE.

DAVID, PAY PARTICULAR ATTENTION TO THIS GENTLEMAN,

WHO IS A FRIEND OF MINE.

WELL... A GOLD HUNTING WATCH, DAVID.

ENGINE TURNED, JEWELED, AND CAPPED.

ESCAPE MOVEMENT, HORIZONTAL LEVER,

AND WARRANTED TO PERFORM ACCURATELY

UPON MY PERSONAL OBSERVATION OVER MANY YEARS.

THAT WATCH, DAVID, IS WORTH �4 ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.

I AM CERTAIN IT COST MY GRANDFATHER A GREAT DEAL MORE THAN THAT.

DID YOU HEAR THAT, DAVID?

HIS GRANDFATHER'S GIFT.

WELL, IT'S WORTH A POUND FOR SENTIMENTAL VALUE ALONE.

TO HIM PERHAPS...

BUT NOT TO ME.

I'LL LEND YOU �3 ON IT.

IS THAT ALL?

VERY WELL, THEN.

WE ACCEPT THE OFFER.

ON THE, UH...

USUAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS?

YES. ON THE USUAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS.

Pawnbroker: NAME AND ADDRESS?

MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT, ESQUIRE.

THE LAMB AND FLAG. I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE STREET.

IT'S NEAR CHARING CROSS.

GOOD DAY.

[DOOR SHUTS]

THIS WATCH...

IS WORTH A LOT MORE THAN 3 OR �4.

OF COURSE IT IS.

IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, IT'S A RARITY,

MADE BY A MASTER WATCHMAKER,

A SWISS.

OHH...

WE COULD RAISE 50 GUINEAS ON SUCH A WATCH, DAVID.

UH, "WE"?

WELL, GIVE ME CREDIT FOR SPOTTING THE OPPORTUNITY.

YOU HEARD THE YOUNG FELLOW. HE'S GOING ABROAD.

THERE'S NO RISK HE'LL REDEEM THE WATCH FOR SOME WHILE.

HE MAY EVEN FORFEIT IT ALTOGETHER,

HE'S SUCH A NOVICE IN THIS SORT OF TRADE.

MEANWHILE, WE CAN TURN IT INTO CAPITAL.

WE CAN DO A LOT WITH 50 GUINEAS, DAVID.

RENT AN OFFICE, PRINT NOTEPAPER,

START UP A COMPANY.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

IS THAT THE BOY WITH THE COALS?

COME IN.

YOUR SERVANT, SIR.

I HOPE YOU'RE PRETTY WELL, SIR.

TAPLEY...

HOW DID YOU COME HERE?

RIGHT THROUGH THE PASSAGE AND UP THE STAIRS, SIR.

NO, I MEAN, HOW DID YOU FIND ME OUT?

WELL, SIR, WHEN YOU AND I PARTED,

I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF FOLLOWING YOU HERE.

OH, DID YOU INDEED?

YES, SIR, JUST TO SEE YOU CAME TO NO HARM.

IT WAS STILL DARK NIGHT WHEN THE CARTER DROPPED US,

IF YOU REMEMBER, SIR.

VERY WELL. SIT DOWN, TAPLEY.

THANK YOU, SIR. I'LL AS LIEVE STAND.

IF YOU WON'T SIT DOWN, I WON'T TALK TO YOU.

VERY WELL, SIR.

AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING IN LONDON?

NOTHING, SIR.

WHY IS THAT?

WELL, I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO FIND A PLACE

THAT SUITS ME.

OH, LORD BLESS YOU, SIR. WHAT'S THE USE OF MY GOING AROUND AND AROUND

WHEN I CAN COME STRAIGHT TO THE POINT IN 6 WORDS?

WILL YOU TAKE ME WITH YOU?

TAKE YOU WHERE?

WHY, TO AMERICA. HERE I AM,

WITH A LIKING FOR WHAT'S VENTURESOME,

AND A LIKING FOR YOU,

AND I WISH TO COME OUT STRONG UNDER CIRCUMSTANCES

AS WOULD KEEP OTHER MEN DOWN.

AS SOON AS YOU MENTIONED AMERICA,

I SAW CLEAR AT ONCE, THAT WAS THE PLACE

FOR ME TO BE JOLLY IN.

I CAN PAY FOR MY OWN PASSAGE.

WELL, THEN, YOU'D BETTER DO SO. GO TO AMERICA ON YOUR OWN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SIR?

WELL, I HAVEN'T GOT ENOUGH MONEY EVEN TO TRAVEL STEERAGE.

I'VE PAWNED EVERYTHING I CAN SPARE

JUST TO PAY FOR MY FOOD AND LODGING.

I'VE APPLIED TO WORK MY PASSAGE AS A COMMON SEAMAN,

BUT THE SHIP OWNERS LAUGH AT ME.

I'VE ADVERTISED IN THE NEWSPAPER FOR A POSITION ON SHIPBOARD,

BUT I HAVEN'T HAD A SINGLE REPLY.

I'VE BEEN IN LONDON FOR 3 WEEKS NOW

AND I'M NO NEARER TO ATTAINING MY GOAL

THAN I WAS WHEN I ARRIVED HERE.

HMM. I THOUGHT THERE WAS A SCREW LOOSE IN YOUR AFFAIRS.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

YES, WHAT IS IT?

UH, THIS IS MR. TAPLEY. MRS. BROWNLOW.

YOUR SERVANT, MA'AM.

OH. A LETTER CAME FOR YOU

WHILE YOU WERE OUT, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

A LETTER. THANK YOU.

IF YOU'D CARE TO SEND THE BOY OUT

WITH A SCUTTLE OF COALS, MRS. BROWNLOW,

THAT WOULD BE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.

THIS MUST BE A REPLY TO MY ADVERTISEMENT.

AT LAST.

[OPENING LETTER]

A �20-NOTE!

MY WORD.

SO IT IS.

THERE'S NOT A WORD OF WRITING TO SAY WHO THIS COMES FROM.

WELL, THAT SOLVES THE PROBLEM OF YOUR FARE, SIR.

TAPLEY, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS MONEY?

NOT A THING, SIR. ON MY WORD OF HONOR.

THEN WHO ON EARTH HAS SENT IT?

WHO KNOWS I'M HERE APART FROM YOU?

THE PAWNBROKER.

THERE WAS A PAWNBROKER

WHO GAVE ME A MISERABLE �3 FOR MY GRANDFATHER'S WATCH.

HE MUST HAVE SUFFERED A TWINGE OF CONSCIENCE

AND SENT THIS TO MAKE UP FOR IT.

A TWINGE OF CONSCIENCE?

A PAWNBROKER?

WELL, THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION.

IF I WERE YOU, SIR,

I WOULDN'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH.

GET ROUND TO THAT SHIPPING OFFICE AS SOON AS YOU CAN.

I WILL.

I KNOW THERE'S A BOAT LEAVING FROM LIVERPOOL IN A WEEK'S TIME.

AND YOU WILL TAKE ME WITH YOU?

TAPLEY, IN SPITE OF THIS WINDFALL,

I CAN'T AFFORD TO KEEP A MANSERVANT.

BUT WHEN YOU MAKE YOUR FORTUNE, THEN YOU'D WANT A SERVANT, WOULDN'T YOU?

WHY, YES.

WELL, I HAVE A LITTLE MONEY SAVED UP

THAT SHOULD LAST ME FOR A YEAR OR SO.

TAPLEY, THIS IS VERY GENEROUS OF YOU,

BUT IS IT PRUDENT?

LORD, SIR, IF PRUDENCE CAME INTO IT,

I'D BE SITTING BY THE FIRE AT THE BLUE DRAGON NOW.

YOU'LL FIND SOME WAY OF SAYING GOOD-BYE TO MISS GRAHAM, I EXPECT.

HOW CAN I,

WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY GRANDFATHER HAS TAKEN HER?

I CAN TELL YOU WHERE.

YOU CAN?

WHERE SHE WAS, ANYHOW. BROWN'S HOTEL, MAYFAIR.

THE HEARD THE OLD GENTLEMAN TELL HIS DRIVER

WHEN THEY HAD TO LEAVE THE DRAGON SO SUDDENLY.

THIS IS WONDERFUL. YOU MUST GO TO THE HOTEL IMMEDIATELY.

IF THEY ARE STILL THERE, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GET A MESSAGE TO MISS GRAHAM

WITHOUT MY GRANDFATHER'S KNOWLEDGE?

LEAVE IT TO ME, SIR.

I AM VERY GLAD YOU CAME, TAPLEY.

MY LUCK HAS CHANGED.

I'M SURE OF IT.

MARTIN.

MARY.

THANK YOU, MARK.

RIGHT YOU ARE, SIR.

YOU LOOK MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN EVER.

BUT YOU LOOK CAREWORN.

THAT'S HARDLY SURPRISING.

I'M AFRAID YOU'VE PAID A DEAR PRICE FOR A POOR HEART.

DON'T SAY THAT.

YOU'RE WORTH EVERY SACRIFICE I HAVE MADE.

IS IT REALLY TRUE, AS MR. TAPLEY TOLD ME,

THAT YOU ARE GOING TO AMERICA?

IT'S THE ONLY SOLUTION TO OUR PROBLEMS.

IT'S A LAND OF OPPORTUNITY.

BUT IT'S SO FAR AWAY.

WHEN SHALL I SEE YOU AGAIN?

AS SOON AS I HAVE A CHANCE TO ESTABLISH MYSELF.

A YEAR OR SO.

A YEAR? PERHAPS LESS.

AS SOON AS I CAN CLAIM YOU AS MY WIFE

AND FREE YOU FROM YOUR DEPENDENCE

ON THAT MALEVOLENT OLD MAN.

MARTIN, SINCE THE DAY YOU LEFT,

HE HAS NEVER SAID AN UNKIND WORD TO ME ABOUT YOU.

NOR A KIND ONE NEITHER, I'LL BE BOUND.

WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL SO WRETCHED

TO BE THE CAUSE OF DIVISION BETWEEN YOU.

I CAN NEVER FORGET THAT HE TOOK ME OUT OF THAT ORPHANAGE.

PURELY FOR HIS OWN SELFISH ENDS.

NEVERTHELESS,

EVEN BEING HERE WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE

MAKES ME UNEASY.

YOU DO LOVE ME, DON'T YOU, MARY?

OF COURSE I DO, MARTIN.

BUT PERHAPS IF YOU WERE TO APPEAL TO HIM--

NO. I HAVE MY PRIDE, TOO.

[BELL TOLLING]

THERE'S MY GIRL...

MY LITTLE WIFE-TO-BE.

AHEM.

EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT, UM...

THE HORSE GUARD'S CLOCK HAS JUST STRUCK THE QUARTER.

I ONLY MENTION IT

BECAUSE THE YOUNG LADY PARTICULARLY ASKED ME TO.

QUITE RIGHT. I DID.

I DARE NOT STAY FOR LONG.

THEN LET ME BE BRIEF.

YOU KNOW MY RELATIVE PECKSNIFF?

YES. YOUR GRANDFATHER HAS SPOKEN OF HIM

A GREAT DEAL LATELY.

IT SEEMS HE IS A BETTER MAN THAN WE SUPPOSED.

[SCOFFS]

WE ARE GOING TO STAY WITH HIM AND HIS DAUGHTERS.

PECKSNIFF IS A SCOUNDREL,

IN THOUGHT AND DEED AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

AS FOR HIS DAUGHTERS,

WELL, I WILL ONLY SAY THAT THEY ARE DUTIFUL YOUNG LADIES

AND TAKE AFTER THEIR FATHER.

I'M SORRY TO HEAR IT.

I WAS HOPING THEY WOULD BE FRIENDS.

THAT IS THE VERY POINT I'M COMING TO.

IN PECKSNIFF'S EMPLOY,

THERE IS A MAN CALLED TOM PINCH.

REMEMBER THE NAME.

TOM PINCH.

A POOR, STRANGE, ODD-LOOKING FELLOW,

BUT VERY HONEST AND WITH A SPECIAL REGARD FOR ME.

I LIKE HIM ALREADY.

HE ALSO KNOWS YOU, TOO, IN A SENSE.

YOU USED TO VISIT THE PARISH CHURCH WHERE HE PLAYED THE ORGAN.

THE ORGANIST?

YES, AND HE GETS NOTHING FOR IT, EITHER.

THERE NEVER WAS SUCH A SIMPLE FELLOW,

BUT A VERY GOOD SORT OF CREATURE, I ASSURE YOU.

WHEN I WRITE TO YOU FROM AMERICA,

I WILL SEND THE LETTERS CARE OF PINCH.

AND WHILE I'M GONE,

IT WILL BE A GREAT CONSOLATION TO YOU

TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO.

ABOUT ME, YOU KNOW.

I'VE WRITTEN A LETTER TO HIM WHICH EXPLAINS ALL THIS.

AHEM. EXCUSE ME, SIR.

THE HALF HOUR.

I MUST GO AT ONCE.

GOOD-BYE, MARY.

MARTIN, ARE YOU SURE THIS IS WISE?

ABSOLUTELY.

DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH MONEY?

DO YOU THINK I WOULD SET OFF ON SUCH A VENTURE OTHERWISE?

PUT YOUR PURSE AWAY.

GOOD-BYE, MY LOVE.

GOOD-BYE, MARTIN.

MR. TAPLEY, I WANT TO GO TO BOND STREET

BEFORE WE RETURN TO THE HOTEL.

YES, MISS.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

WELL, MARK?

WELL, SIR, I SEEN THE YOUNG LADY SAFE HOME.

SHE SENT A LOT OF KIND WORDS, SIR...

AND THIS...

FOR A KEEPSAKE.

DIAMONDS.

AND SPLENDID ONES.

MY GRANDFATHER MUST HAVE GIVEN HER THIS, MARK.

SIR, YOU DON'T THINK, UH...

SHE MIGHT HAVE BOUGHT IT HERSELF SO TO GIVE TO YOU

SO YOU'D HAVE SOMETHING OF VALUE FOR A RAINY DAY?

NO, NO, NO. THIS WAS MY GRANDFATHER'S GIFT. DEPEND ON IT.

I'M SURE YOU KNOW BEST, SIR.

I SHOULD WEAR IT...

ON...

THIS FINGER.

AND THERE IT SHALL STAY

UNTIL THE DAY WHEN I PUT IT BACK ON HER OWN DEAR HAND.

SHE IS QUITE WORTHY OF THE SACRIFICES I HAVE MADE.

JOLLY!

[MAN GROANING]

[MAN COUGHING GROTESQUELY]

LET THE FIRE BE!

IT'S A COLD SPRING!

[WHINY VOICE] "WASTE NOT, WANT NOT."

[CHUCKLING]

THERE'S LITTLE TIME LEFT FOR THAT, JONAS.

FOR WHAT?

FOR ME TO COME TO WANT.

HE'S YOUR OWN SON, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

YOUR ONLY SON, SIR.

YES, YES, CHUFFEY,

HE'S A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK.

[ANTHONY CHUCKLES]

IT'S A VERY OLD BLOCK NOW, CHUFFEY.

NO, NO, NO, MR. CHUZZLEWIT,

NOT OLD. NOT OLD AT ALL.

HE'S GETTING WORSE, FATHER.

HOLD YOUR TONGUE!

HE SAYS YOU'RE WRONG!

TUT, TUT, I KNOW BETTER.

I SAY HE'S WRONG.

HE'S JUST A BOY, THAT'S WHAT HE IS.

SO ARE YOU, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

COMPARED TO ME, YOU'RE BOTH BOYS.

[CHUFFEY LAUGHING]

WHAT'S POSSESSED THE OLD MOLE?

I HAVEN'T HEARD HIM SAY SO MUCH IN YEARS.

I GROW DEAF, CHUFFEY.

WHAT IF YOU DO?

I'VE BEEN DEAF THIS 20 YEARS.

AND BLINDER, TOO.

IT'S A GOOD SIGN.

THE BEST SIGN IN THE WORLD.

YOU SAW TOO WELL BEFORE.

OH, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

YOU'RE LEGACY-HUNTING, MR. CHUFFEY, ARE YOU?

WELL...

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.

NOT...

AT ALL.

�30 YOU GET, CHUFFEY.

�30 A YEAR MAINTENANCE, OLD BOY.

AND THE REST...

TO HIS ONLY SON... JONAS.

SO YOU NEEDN'T BOTHER YOURSELF TO BE TOO AFFECTIONATE--

WHAT ARE YOU DOING PEERING AND PRYING AROUND FOR, PECKSNIFF?

WHY DIDN'T YOU KNOCK?

SO I DID, BUT NOBODY HEARD IT.

THE DOOR BEING OPEN, I CAME UP.

I'M AFRAID I STARTLED YOU IN YOUR, UM...

READING.

ECOD, IT'S ENOUGH TO STARTLE A MAN TO SEE A FELLOW

LOOKING DIRECTLY AT HIM WHO HE THOUGHT WAS 80 MILES AWAY!

I AM SUMMONED TO LONDON BY A LITTLE MATTER OF BUSINESS.

I CAME TO PAY MY RESPECTS.

OH, IS THAT ALL?

WELL, YOU'D, UH, BETTER HAVE SOME TEA.

WAKE UP, FATHER. PECKSNIFF'S HERE!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OH, I'M EXPECTING A PARCEL.

YOU MUST EXCUSE ME, PECKSNIFF.

ADD SOME MORE BOILING WATER TO THE TEAPOT.

THERE'S PLENTY OF STRENGTH LEFT IN THE LEAVES.

NOW THAT WE ARE ALONE...

I AM RIGHT IN THINKING

THAT, UH, METAPHYSICALLY SPEAKING,

OUR DEAR FRIEND MR. CHUFFEY HERE

IS WHAT IS JOCULARLY CALLED A DUMMY?

HE NEITHER SEES NOR HEARS YOU.

POKE UP THE FIRE, WILL YOU, PECKSNIFF?

I FEEL A CHILL ON ME LIKE THE INSIDE OF A TOMB.

I WAS NEVER SO SURPRISED IN MY WHOLE LIFE

WHEN I RECEIVED YOUR LETTER ASKING TO SEE ME

WITHOUT JONAS' KNOWLEDGE.

JONAS IS SWEET UPON YOUR DAUGHTER.

SO YOU OBSERVED THE LAST TIME WE MET.

HAVE YOU THOUGHT ON WHAT I SAID THEN?

YES. AND FIND MUCH TO RECOMMEND IT.

CHARITY IS A CHARMING GIRL WHOM ANY MAN--

SHE'S NOT YOUNG...

AND HEEDLESS.

SHE COMES FROM A GOOD, GRIPING STOCK,

I GRANT YOU THAT.

AS LONG AS SHE DON'T EXPECT LOVE...

OR TENDERNESS

OR ANYTHING OF THAT SORT.

REALLY, SIR, YOU SHOCK ME.

MATRIMONY IS SURELY INSEPARABLE

FROM THE MUTUAL REGARD OF THE SPOUSES, THE EXTREME--

YOU ALWAYS WAS A HYPOCRITE, PECKSNIFF.

WELL, DON'T SAY LATER I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

I MEAN, WHEN I'M--

[COUGHING]

WHEN I'M DEAD.

WARN ME? WHAT ABOUT?

WHEN I PROPOSED THE MATCH,

I THOUGHT I HAD PLENTY OF YEARS AHEAD OF ME.

I SEE THINGS...

DIFFERENTLY NOW.

[WHEEZING GRUESOMELY]

MR. CHUZZLEWIT...

OH.

OHH... THE BOTTLE OF PHYSIC.

OHH.

ONE SPOONFUL?

[WHEEZES]

MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

MR. CHUZZLEWIT,

I AM AT A LOSS TO UNDERSTAND YOU.

WHEN YOU HAVE RECOVERED YOURSELF, WE MUST SPEAK FURTHER.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOUR FATHER HAD A BAD COUGHING FIT.

I--I GAVE HIM SOME OF THIS MEDICINE.

I--I HOPE I DID RIGHT.

OH, YES.

YES. YES, YOU DID RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, NOW, MR. JONAS,

I--I DON'T WISH TO ALARM YOU,

BUT IT SEEMS TO ME THAT HE IS, UM...

SINKING.

NO, NO. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TOUGH HE IS.

HE'S HAD THAT COUGH ALL WINTER.

COME, LET US SIT DOWN

AND HAVE SOME BREAD AND BUTTER.

AHH.

SO, HOW IS CHARITY?

BLOOMING.

AND THE OTHER ONE?

AH, MY VOLATILE HUMMINGBIRD.

WELL, WELL.

WOULD SHE WERE A LITTLE LESS GIDDY.

IS SHE SO VERY, VERY GIDDY THEN?

BESIDES HER SISTER CHERRY, SHE SOMETIMES SEEMS SO.

[DEEP-TONED TICKING]

MY WORD, THAT IS A MOST EXTRAORDINARY CLOCK.

MASTER!

[THROAT CLUCKING]

[JABBERING INCOHERENTLY]

HE SEEMS TO BE TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING.

[WHEEZES]

OH, DEAR ME!

I FEAR HE MAY BE, UM...

I'LL FETCH A DOCTOR.

DON'T GO, PECKSNIFF.

Pecksniff: NO, NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT.

IT WAS A MERCY YOU WERE PRESENT.

SOMEONE COULD SAY IT WAS MY FAULT!

YOUR FAULT, MR. JONAS?

WELL, PEOPLE SAY SUCH THINGS.

I USED TO JOKE, YOU KNOW, BUT I NEVER WISHED HIM DEAD!

SIT HIM UP IN HIS CHAIR. HE'LL SOON BE BETTER.

SOON BETTER. SOON BETTER.

SOON BETTER.

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

[BABY CRYING]

[TAPPING]

KNOCK AT THE WINDOW, SIR,

KNOCK AT THE FIRST FLOOR WINDOW.

DON'T LOSE MORE TIME THAN YOU CAN HELP.

MAY I BORROW YOUR WHIP, MY MAN?

HE'S AS PALE AS A MUFFIN.

WELL, HE OUGHT TO BE, IF HE'S ANY FEELINGS.

[WINDOWSILL SQUEAKS]

MRS. GAMP?

IS IT MRS. PERKINS?

NO, NO, NOTHING OF THE SORT.

OH, DON'T SAY IT'S YOU, MR. WHILKES--

AND THAT POOR CREATURE MRS. WHILKES WITH NOT EVEN A PINCUSHION READY.

NO. NO, IT IS NOT MR. WHILKES.

MY NAME IS PECKSNIFF. A GENTLEMAN IS DEAD,

AND SOME PERSON BEING WANTED IN THE HOUSE,

YOU HAVE BEEN RECOMMENDED

BY MR. MOULD THE UNDERTAKER.

OH. OH, I--I'LL BE DOWN DIRECTLY.

OH. OH, YOU MUST EXCUSE ME

BEING A-BED WHEN YOU CALLED, SIR,

BUT I WAS SUMMONED LAST NIGHT

TO ASSIST IN A CASE OF TWINS.

WAS IT A CLOSE RELATION OF YOURN, SIR,

THE DECEASED, SIR? OH, DEAR, OH, DEAR.

OH, WHEN MR. GAMP WAS CALLED TO HIS HOME ON HIGH

AND I SEEN HIM A-LYIN' IN GUY'S HOSPITAL

WITH A PENNY PIECE ON EACH EYE

AND HIS WOODEN LEG UNDER HIS LEFT ARM,

OOH, I THOUGHT I SHOULD HAVE FAINTED AWAY.

BUT I BORE UP. OH, I EXPECT YOU THINK

I'M INDIFFERENT TO SUCH SIGHTS BY NOW, SIR.

[SNIFF SNIFF]

AH-CHOO!

BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU,

IF IT WASN'T FOR THE NERVE

THAT A LITTLE SIP OF LIQUOR GIVES ME,

I COULDN'T GO THROUGH

WITH WHAT I SOMETIMES HAS TO DO.

"MRS. HARRIS," I SAYS,

AT THE LAST CASE I WAS EVER IN,

WHICH IT WAS BUT A YOUNG PERSON, OH.

"MRS. HARRIS," I SAYS,

"LEAVE THE BOTTLE ON THE CHIMNEY PIECE.

"DON'T ASK ME TO HAVE NONE,

"BUT LET ME PUT MY LIPS TO IT

"WHEN I'M SO DISPOSED,

"AND THEN I WILL DO WHAT I WAS ENGAGED TO DO,

ACCORDING TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY."

OH.

"OH, MRS. GAMP," SHE SAYS,

"IF EVER THERE WAS A SOBER CREATURE

"TO BE GOT FOR 18 PENCE A DAY"--

WORKING FOLK,

3 AND 6, GENTLE PEOPLE,

AND NIGHT WATCHING AN EXTRA CHARGE--

"YOU ARE THAT INVALUABLE PERSON."

WELL, MRS. GAMP.

AND HOW ARE YOU?

OH, PRETTY WELL, THANK YOU, SIR.

YOU'LL BE VERY PARTICULAR HERE, MRS. GAMP.

THIS IS NOT A COMMON CASE.

OH, I SHALL BE, SIR.

YOU KNOW ME OF OLD, I HOPE, SIR.

I DO.

THIS PROMISES TO BE ONE OF THE MOST IMPRESSIVE FUNERALS, SIR,

THAT I HAVE SEEN IN THE WHOLE COURSE

OF MY PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE.

INDEED.

OH. SUCH--SUCH AFFECTIONATE REGRET, SIR.

SUCH--SUCH FILIAL FEELING I NEVER SAW.

THERE IS NO LIMITATION,

POSITIVELY NO LIMITATION IN POINT OF EXPENSE.

I HAVE ORDERS, SIR,

TO PUT ON MY WHOLE ESTABLISHMENT OF MUTES.

AND MUTES COME VERY DEAR, MR. PECKSNIFF. HA HA!

NOT TO MENTION THEIR DRINK.

[FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS]

MY FRIEND MR. JONAS IS AN EXCELLENT MAN.

AH! HERE HE IS.

MR. JONAS, THIS IS MRS. GAMP.

UM, WOULD YOU CARE TO SHOW HER THE, UH...

WELL, CAN'T MOULD, SIR?

OH, BE A PLEASURE, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

OH, THANK YOU, SIR.

I'LL SEE MYSELF OUT AFTERWARDS.

THIS WAY, SIR.

YOU'LL STAY FOR THE FUNERAL, PECKSNIFF?

OF COURSE, MY DEAR SIR.

IS THERE ANYONE YOU'D LIKE TO ASK?

NO, I--I THINK NOT, MR. JONAS,

BUT, UM...

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOSPITABLE THOUGHT.

THEN YOU, ME, CHUFFEY, AND THE DOCTOR

WILL BE JUST A COACHFUL.

THE DOCTOR?

MM. JOBLING. AN EXCELLENT MAN.

HE SAYS HE DIED OF A STROKE, YOU KNOW?

WOULD YOU CARE FOR A LITTLE SOMETHING?

OH, THANK YOU.

A LITTLE GLASS OF BRANDY WOULD BE MOST WELCOME.

I WAS WONDERING WHETHER YOU WOULD CARE

TO PAY US A LITTLE VISIT IN WILTSHIRE

AFTER THE FUNERAL.

BY GAD, YES.

YES. I COULD DO WITH A CHANGE OF AIR.

IT WOULD, I THINK, BE RESTORATIVE

AFTER THE STRAIN OF RECENT EVENTS.

MY DAUGHTERS WOULD BE GLAD TO WELCOME YOU,

ESPECIALLY, I THINK I MAY SAFELY SAY, CHARITY.

SHE WOULD, EH?

MRS. GAMP.

I HAVE BEEN IN MANY PLACES IN MY TIME, GENTLEMEN,

AND I HOPES I KNOWS WHAT MY DUTIES IS.

I HAVE SEEN A DEAL OF TROUBLE MY OWN SELF,

AND I CAN FEEL FOR THEM

WHAT HAS THEIR FEELINGS TRIED,

BUT I AM NOT A RUSSIAN

NOR A PRUSSIAN,

AND CONSEQUENTLY I CANNOT SUFFER

TO HAVE SPIES SET OVER ME.

I-IF I UNDERSTAND THIS GOOD LADY,

MR. CHUFFEY IS TROUBLESOME TO HER.

WOULD YOU BRING HIM DOWN, PECKSNIFF?

OH, CERTAINLY, MR. JONAS.

UM... MAY I?

OH, THANK YOU, SIR.

[SOBBING QUIETLY]

COME, MR. CHUFFEY. COME WITH ME.

3 SCORE AND 10.

SOME MEN LIVE TO 4 SCORE.

4 TIMES NAUGHT IS NAUGHT,

AND 4 2s ARE 8...

80!

WHY DIDN'T HE LIVE TO 4 SCORE AND 10?

WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE

BEFORE HIS POOR OLD SERVANT?

HUSH, MR. CHUFFEY.

OH, WHAT A WALE OF GRIEF.

I LOVED HIM.

HE WAS GOOD TO ME.

TAKE HIM AWAY...

AND WHAT REMAINS?

MR. JONAS REMAINS, MY DEAR SIR.

HIS ONLY SON.

[SOBBING]

[BELL TOLLS]

GLOVES, EH?

UPON MY WORD, MR. PECKSNIFF,

YOUR NEPHEW'S DOING THE THING IN STYLE.

HE IS INDEED, DR. JOBLING.

HE HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY HIS FATHER'S DEATH

TO AN EXTENT THAT HAS SURPRISED EVEN MYSELF.

COME ALONG, MR. CHUFFEY,

HOLD YOUR FINGERS STRAIGHT.

YOU WANT TO BE PROPERLY DRESSED

FOR YOUR MASTER'S FUNERAL, DON'T YOU?

MY POOR MASTER.

NOW, COME, COME. STOP THAT.

BE A MAN, MR. CHUFFEY.

Mrs. Gamp: WHERE'S YOUR HANKY?

OH. WHAT'S THE USE OF KEEPING IT THERE?

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HOLD IT UP TO YOUR FACE

SO PEOPLE IN THE STREET CAN SEE YOU'RE GRIEVING.

HE'S NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD, YOU KNOW?

I SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED

IF HE WERE TO TALK SOME PRECIOUS NONSENSE TODAY.

BUT DON'T YOU MIND HIM,

ANY OF YOU.

MY FATHER LEFT HIM TO MY CHARGE.

AND WHATEVER HE MAY SAY OR DO,

THAT'S ENOUGH.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM.

WHICH DOES YOU CREDIT, SIR.

INDEED IT DOES.

OH, SEE...

SEE HOW NEAT HE CAN LOOK, SIR,

WITH A LITTLE HELP?

ARE YOU READY, MR. MOULD?

QUITE READY, SIR.

THEN LET US NOT LOSE ANY MORE TIME.

MY POOR MASTER.

TSK.

I'M THE MASTER NOW, MR. CHUFFEY.

WHOSE FUNERAL IS THIS?

OLD ANTHONY CHUZZLEWIT'S.

CHUZZLEWIT?

NO.

YES. HE DIED SUDDENLY LAST MONDAY.

SUDDENLY?

A STROKE, THEY SAY.

WHY, WHAT'S THE MATTER, MAN? YOU LOOK PALE AS A GHOST.

GOOD LORD.

PECKSNIFF, WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO GIVE YOUR DAUGHTERS

WHEN THEY MARRY?

OH, MY DEAR JONAS, WHAT A VERY SINGULAR INQUIRY.

OH, NATURALLY,

IT WOULD DEPEND IN GREAT MEASURE

WHAT KIND OF HUSBANDS THEY MIGHT CHOOSE.

WELL, SUPPOSE ONE OF THEM WAS TO CHOOSE ME.

AH. I SEE WHICH WAY THE WIND IS BLOWING.

OH, MY DEAR CHERRY, MY STAFF, MY TREASURE.

WELL, IT IS IN THE NATURE OF THINGS

THAT ONE DAY I MUST PART WITH HER.

I AM PREPARED FOR IT.

YOU'VE BEEN PREPARED A PRETTY LONG TIME, I SHOULD THINK.

OH, MANY HAVE TRIED TO BEAR HER AWAY,

BUT SHE SAID TO ME ONE DAY,

"I WILL NEVER GIVE MY HAND, PAPA,

UNTIL MY HEART IS WON."

THOSE WERE HER VERY WORDS.

SHE HAS SEEMED PREOCCUPIED OF LATE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION.

YOUR QUESTION?

HOW MUCH?

OH, HO HO!

YOU'VE RECOVERED YOUR OLD ENERGY AND DIRECTNESS,

I SEE, MR. JONAS.

WHY, THEN, UM...

TO BE PLAIN WITH YOU,

IF SOMEONE AS ELIGIBLE AS YOURSELF

WERE TO PROPOSE FOR MY DAUGHTER'S HAND,

I WOULD ENDOW HER WITH, UM...

�4,000.

WOULD YOU NOW?

I SHOULD SADLY PINCH AND CRAMP MYSELF TO DO SO,

BUT THAT WOULD BE MY DUTY.

FOR MYSELF,

MY CONSCIENCE IS MY BANK.

I HAVE A TRIFLE INVESTED THERE, MR. JONAS,

A MERE TRIFLE,

BUT I PRIZE IT AS A STORE OF GREAT VALUE.

OH, UH...I'M SURE YOU DO, PECKSNIFF.

ARE THE GALS EXPECTING US?

NO. I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE AMUSING

TO SURPRISE THEM. HA HA! I HAVE NOT SENT WORD.

MRS. GAMP, COME IN.

OH, THANK YOU, SIR.

TAKE A SEAT.

AND, UH...

AND HOW ARE YOU?

OH, ALL THE BETTER

FOR SEEING MRS. MOULD JUST NOW

AND LOOKING SO WELL.

AND THEM 2 HANDSOME YOUNG LADIES

WHAT I'VE KNOWED SINCE AFORE

A TOOTH IN THEIR PRETTY HEADS WAS CUT.

OH, AND MANY A DAY

I'VE SEEN 'EM PLAYING AT BURYIN'S IN THE SHOP.

BUT ALL THAT'S PAST AND OVER NOW, SIR, AIN'T IT?

YOUNG LADIES WITH SUCH FACES

THINKS ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE BESIDES BURYIN'S.

HEH HEH!

I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW, MRS. GAMP.

WELL, I KNOWS, SIR,

EVEN THOUGH THE BLESSINGS

OF A DAUGHTER WAS DENIED ME,

WHICH IF WE HAD HAD ONE,

GAMP WOULD HAVE DRUNK ITS LITTLE SHOES

RIGHT OFF ITS FEET,

SAME AS HE DID OUR PRECIOUS BOY.

SO, WHAT'S YOUR NEWS, MRS. GAMP?

HOW'S MR. CHUFFEY?

OH, MR. CHUFFEY, SIR, WELL, UM...

HE'S JUST AS USUAL.

HE AIN'T NO BETTER, HE AIN'T NO WORSE.

BUT...THERE IS ANOTHER GENT, SIR,

WHAT WAS TAKEN ILL AT THE BULL IN HOLBORN,

AND HE'S BAD ABED.

NOW THEY HAS A DAY NURSE, AND WELL I KNOWS HER,

HER NAME BEING MRS. PRIG--

OH, BEST OF CREATURES--

BUT THEY ARE IN WANTS OF A-NIGHT WATCHING,

AND BETSY PRIG HAS OFFERED TO PUT MY NAME FORWARD,

SEEING AS HOW I COULD UNITE THE WORK

WITH LOOKING AFTER MR. CHUFFEY BY DAY.

"NOT," I SAYS,

"NOT UNBEKNOWNST TO MR. MOULD

"WHO RECOMMENDED ME TO MR. JONAS CHUZZLEWIT.

"BUT, UH, I WILL GO AND ASK MR. MOULD, IF YOU LIKE."

NIGHT WATCHING, EH?

YES, SIR. 8:00 TO 8:00. AND THEN QUITE FREE

TO ATTEND TO MR. CHUFFEY.

I WILL NOT DENY, SIR,

THAT I AM BUT A POOR WOMAN,

AND, UH... MONEY IS AN OBJECT.

BUT DON'T LET THAT SWAY YOU, MR. MOULD.

RICH FOLK MAY RIDE ON CAMELS,

BUT IT AIN'T SO EASY FOR THEM

TO SEE OUT OF A NEEDLE'S EYE.

THAT'S MY COMFORT. I HOPES I KNOWS IT.

WELL, I DON'T SEE ANY OBJECTION

TO YOUR EARNING AN HONEST PENNY UNDER SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES.

OH, THANK YOU, SIR.

BUT I WOULDN'T MENTION IT TO MR. CHUZZLEWIT

WHEN HE RETURNS FROM THE COUNTRY,

UNLESS IT WAS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

THEM VERY WORDS WAS ON MY OWN LIPS, SIR.

GOOD DAY TO YOU, MRS. GAMP.

MY DUTIFUL GIRL IS DOING THE HOUSEKEEPING ACCOUNTS.

A PLEASANT PICTURE, IS IT NOT?

PLEASANT TO A FATHER'S HEART.

SHALL WE LET HER KNOW WE ARE HERE, MR. JONAS?

YOU'D BETTER,

UNLESS WE'RE TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN THE WOODSHED.

OH! OH!

AH!

WHO IS IT?

SPEAK, OR I WILL CALL MY PA!

MY DEAR CHERRY.

PA. OH!

IT WAS THOUGHTLESS OF US, MR. JONAS.

MY DAUGHTER, YOU SEE, I AM NOT ALONE.

MR. JONAS.

EVENING, COUSIN.

WHERE IS MERRY?

READING IN HER ROOM, I THINK.

READING? OH, THE CARELESS PLEASURES OF YOUTH.

PA! WHAT A SURPRISE.

YOU HERE, TOO, FRIGHT?

YOU'RE AS LIVELY AS EVER, I SEE.

WHAT'S IT TO YOU?

MY DEARS, LET US ALL HAVE SOME TEA.

RING FOR JANE, CHARITY.

HMM.

NO SIGN OF MR. PINCH?

HE'S PRACTICING AT HIS ORGAN.

AH, YES.

WELL, UM...

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME FOR HALF AN HOUR,

THERE ARE SOME LETTERS AWAITING MY ATTENTION.

AND I MUST GET BACK TO MY BOOK.

DON'T GO.

OH, I DARE SAY, YOU'RE VERY ANXIOUS

I SHOULD STAY, AREN'T YOU, FRIGHT?

YES, I AM.

UPON MY WORD, MERRY, I WONDER AT YOU.

THERE ARE BOUNDS EVEN TO ABSURDITY, MY DEAR.

MANY THANKS FOR THE ADVICE, SISTER.

OH! DO LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU MONSTER, DO.

NOW I HAVE BOTH ARMS FULL, HAVEN'T I?

PINCH HIM FOR ME, CHERRY, PLEASE.

I NEVER HATED ANYBODY SO MUCH IN MY LIFE

AS THIS CREATURE.

NO, DON'T, BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK SERIOUSLY.

I SAY, COUSIN CHARITY.

WELL, WHAT?

SHE'S NOT GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY,

IS SHE, COUSIN?

HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

WELL, YOU SEE HER WAY ALWAYS BEING TO MAKE GAME OF PEOPLE,

I KNOW SHE'LL LAUGH OR AT LEAST PRETEND TO.

BUT YOU CAN TELL HER I'M IN EARNEST, COUSIN,

CAN'T YOU?

NO ONE KNOWS LIKE YOU

HOW MUCH I TRIED TO GET INTO HER COMPANY

WHILE YOU WERE BOTH IN LONDON

WITHOUT SEEMING TO WISH IT. HMM?

I ALWAYS ASKED YOU ABOUT HER AND HOW SHE WAS

AND SAID HOW LIVELY SHE WAS AND ALL THAT, DIDN'T I?

I KNOW YOU'LL TELL HER SO IF YOU HAVEN'T DONE SO ALREADY.

COUSIN MERCY,

YOU'VE HEARD WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING.

SHE'LL CONFIRM IT, EVERY SINGLE WORD.

WILL YOU HAVE ME FOR YOUR HUSBAND, EH?

YOU...

YOU...

YOU D...

OH...

NO...PLEASE...

PLEASE, NO!

[SOBBING] NO! NO!

I MUST GO TO HER.

NOT TILL YOU SAY YES. WILL YOU HAVE ME FOR YOUR HUSBAND?

NO, I WON'T.

I CAN'T BEAR THE SIGHT OF YOU.

BESIDES, I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU LIKED MY SISTER BEST.

WE ALL THOUGHT SO.

NO, YOU DIDN'T. I DID.

YOU NEVER COULD THINK I PREFERRED HER WHILE YOU WERE BY!

LET ME GO TO HER.

SAY YES, AND I WILL.

IF EVER I BROUGHT MYSELF TO SAY SO,

IT SHOULD ONLY BE THAT I MIGHT HATE AND TEASE YOU ALL MY LIFE.

WELL, THAT'S AS GOOD AS SAYING IT RIGHT OUT.

IT'S A BARGAIN, COUSIN.

WE'RE A PAIR.

DON'T...COME... NEAR...ME...

YOU TREACHEROUS LITTLE VIXEN!

DON'T COME NEAR ME, BECAUSE THIS TIME--

I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!

Mercy: IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

[SOBBING] YOU'VE BROKEN MY HEART!

I DIDN'T KNOW HE MEANT TO CHOOSE ME!

[SOBBING] I CAN'T BEAR IT!

YOU'RE ALWAYS DOING THIS TO ME,

BUT THIS TIME, YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR!

YOU LED HIM ON.

NO, I DIDN'T.

YES, YOU DID! YOU KNOW YOU--

GIRLS.

DAUGHTERS.

WHAT IS THIS?

[SOBS]

OH, THAT WRETCH,

THAT MEAN, FALSE, ODIOUS VILLAIN

HAS PROPOSED TO MERCY BEFORE MY VERY FACE!

WHO HAS PROPOSED TO MERCY?

THAT THING DOWNSTAIRS. JONAS.

[SOBS]

INDEED.

"INDEED."

I-IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY?

"INDEED."

AM...AM I TO--

AM I TO BE DRIVEN MAD?

HE HAS PROPOSED TO MERCY

AND NOT TO ME!

AAAHHH!

[SOBS AND CRIES OUT INDISTINCTLY]

OH, FIE. FOR SHAME, CHARITY.

CAN THE TRIUMPH OF A SISTER

MOVE YOU TO THIS TERRIBLE DISPLAY, MY CHILD?

OH, REALLY, THIS IS VERY SAD.

MERCY, MY CHILD.

BLESS YOU.

SEE TO HER. SEE TO HER.

YES, PAPA.

[SOBS]

UHH!

JONAS!

THE DEAREST WISH OF MY HEART IS NOW FULFILLED.

MMM. I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.

YOU AIN'T SURPRISED BY MY CHOICE THEN?

A LITTLE. JUST A LITTLE, MY DEAR BOY.

BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT OUR TWO FAMILIES ARE TO BE UNITED.

AS IT AIN'T THE ONE YOU'RE SO FOND OF,

YOU MUST COME UP WITH AN EXTRA THOUSAND, PECKSNIFF.

IT'S WORTH THAT TO KEEP YOUR LITTLE TREASURE TO YOURSELF, YOU KNOW?

HA HA HA HA!

YOU JEST, JONAS.

NO, I DON'T. NEVER JEST ABOUT MONEY.

MR. PECKSNIFF!

MR. PINCH?

I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR, FOR COMING IN WITHOUT KNOCKING--

BETTER BEG THIS GENTLEMAN'S PARDON, MR. PINCH.

JONAS, THIS IS MY YOUNG MAN.

I DO BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR.

COULD I SPEAK A WORD WITH YOU, SIR, IF YOU PLEASE?

IT IS RATHER PRESSING.

PLEASE, UH, EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT.

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS ROUGH INTRUSION?

WELL, SIR, WHILE I WAS IN THE CHURCH JUST NOW,

TOUCHING THE ORGAN FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT,

A GENTLEMAN AND A LADY CAME INTO THE CHURCH AND SAT DOWN TO LISTEN.

I KNEW THE YOUNG LADY AT ONCE, SO I WENT ON PLAYING.

SHE WAS KIND ENOUGH TO THANK ME AFTERWARDS. THE OLD GENTLEMAN, TOO.

IN FACT...THEY SAID, "DELICIOUS MUSIC."

OR AT LEAST SHE DID.

MR. PINCH, OF WHOM ARE YOU SPEAKING?

OH, I--I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR, BUT I'M RATHER FLURRIED.

I'M AFRAID I'VE WANDERED RATHER FROM THE POINT.

IF YOU WOULD COME BACK TO IT, MR. PINCH,

I SHOULD BE MUCH OBLIGED.

WELL, SIR, THEY ASKED ME IF THERE WAS A FOOTPATH

FROM THE CHURCH TO YOUR HOUSE.

I TOLD THEM THERE WAS,

SO THEY SENT THEIR CARRIAGE TO THE DRAGON

AND SAID THEY WOULD WALK HERE, IT BEING A FINE EVENING--

WHO IS WALKING HERE?

WHY, OLD MR. MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT, SIR,

AND THE YOUNG LADY WHO ATTENDED HIM

LAST TIME THEY WERE STAYING AT THE DRAGON.

MR. CHUZZLEWIT!

YES, SIR. I RAN ON AHEAD.

THEY SHOULD BE HERE AT ANY MOMENT.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[GLASS BREAKS UPSTAIRS]

Charity: I HATE YOU!

YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE THIS TO ME,

BUT THIS TIME YOU'VE JUST GONE TOO FAR!

[HUSHED VOICE] MR. PINCH, RUN UPSTAIRS

AND TELL MY DAUGHTERS WHO IS HERE.

SAY "SILENCE. SILENCE IMMEDIATELY,

OR I DISINHERIT THEM ON THE SPOT." YOU UNDERSTAND?

YES, SIR. [KNOCKING]

HELLO, PECKSNIFF.

ISN'T SOMEBODY A-GOING TO ANSWER

THAT PRECIOUS OLD DOOR OF YOURS?

[SCREAMING UPSTAIRS CONTINUES]

IMMEDIATELY. IMMEDIATELY, JONAS.

PRAY, UH, REMAIN IN THIS ROOM QUIETLY

UNTIL I REJOIN YOU.

THIS IS VERY STRANGE.

Pecksniff: � LITTLE TOM COBLEY AND ALL �

AH!

[DOOR OPENS]

� ALL �

MR. CHUZZLEWIT!

CAN I BELIEVE MY EYES?

I--I THOUGHT I HEARD A KNOCK ON THE DOOR FROM THE GARDEN,

BUT NEVER DID I DARE TO HOPE THAT IT MIGHT BE...

WALK IN, MY DEAR SIR.

WALK IN, MISS GRAHAM.

YOU WILL EXCUSE MY GARDEN DRESS, I KNOW.

IT IS AN ANCIENT PURSUIT WHICH I FIND SOOTHING TO THE SPIRIT.

PRAY, COME IN TO OUR LITTLE-ROOMED ESTATE.

MY DAUGHTERS WILL BE DELIGHTED TO SEE YOU, MR. CHUZZLEWIT,

AND TO MEET THEIR FAIR YOUNG FRIEND,

FOR FRIEND SHE WILL SURELY BE.

I TRUST I FIND HER WELL?

VERY WELL, THANK YOU.

I'M SORRY IF WE TOOK YOU BY SURPRISE, PECKSNIFF.

I THOUGHT MR. UH, MR.--

PINCH.

MR. PINCH WOULD HAVE ARRIVED BEFORE US.

HE DID. AND WAS, I DARE SAY,

ABOUT TO WARN ME OF YOUR APPROACH

WHEN I BEGGED HIM FIRST TO KNOCK ON MY DAUGHTER'S CHAMBER

AND INQUIRE ABOUT THE HEALTH OF CHARITY.

WHO IS NOT AS WELL AS I COULD WISH.

AH! HERE IS HE.

PRAY, COME IN.

THOMAS IS A FRIEND OF MINE OF RATHER LONG STANDING,

MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

HOW IS MY DAUGHTER, TOM?

A LITTLE BETTER, SIR.

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

WOULD YOU BE SO KIND, MR. PINCH,

AS TO TELL HER AND MERRY

THAT OUR GUESTS WILL BE STAYING FOR SUPPER?

DON'T PUT YOURSELF OUT, PECKSNIFF.

WE HAVE DINED WELL AT THE BLUE DRAGON.

WE SHALL STAY THERE, YOU KNOW.

MRS. LUPIN MADE US VERY COMFORTABLE LAST TIME.

NAY, MY GOOD SIR, I INSIST.

THANK YOU, TOM.

YES, SIR.

[HARPSICHORD PLAYS]

PECKSNIFF...

I WAS MUCH...SHOCKED...

BY THE NEWS OF MY BROTHER'S DEATH.

YOUR FEELINGS DO YOU CREDIT, SIR.

WE HAD BEEN STRANGERS MANY YEARS...

ENEMIES, I MIGHT ALMOST SAY.

BUT WE WERE PLAYFELLOWS ONCE.

THOSE MEMORIES WILL BE A SOLACE TO YOU, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

AND THE EVENING OF YOUR BROTHER'S LIFE WAS MADE HAPPY

IN THE AFFECTIONATE CARE OF HIS EXCELLENT SON JONAS--

A PATTERN, MY DEAR SIR, TO ALL SONS.

WHAT?

A PATTERN OF GREED AND IMPATIENCE, YOU MEAN.

WHY, HE BEGRUDGED HIS FATHER EVERY DAY AND EVERY HOUR

THAT STOOD BETWEEN HIM AND HIS INHERITANCE.

OH, NO, SIR, YOU WRONG HIM.

EVEN UNDERTAKERS AND COFFIN MAKERS

WERE MOVED BY THE GRIEF HE EXHIBITED.

MUTES HAVE SPOKEN IN HIS PRAISE.

YOU WENT TO HIS FUNERAL?

ARE YOU A LEGATEE, THEN?

YOU DO NOT QUITE UNDERSTAND MY NATURE YET, SIR, I FIND.

YES, I WENT TO HIS FUNERAL.

AT THE RISK OF OFFENDING EVEN YOU, SIR,

YES, I DID IT.

WITH JONAS I SAT BESIDE HIS BED...

AND WITH JONAS I STOOD BESIDE HIS GRAVE.

BUT I AM NOT A LEGATEE, AND I NEVER EXPECTED TO BE.

OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON, PECKSNIFF,

BUT YOUR ACCOUNT OF JONAS AMAZES ME.

THE YOUNG MAN IS EVEN NOW IN THIS HOUSE,

SEEKING IN A CHANGE OF SCENE

THE PEACE OF MIND HE HAS LOST.

JONAS IS HERE? LET ME SEE HIM.

IN A FRIENDLY SPIRIT, I HOPE?

I WILL SHAKE HIS HAND IF HE WILL SHAKE MINE.

OHHH...

MY GOOD SIR.

I--I WILL BREAK THIS HAPPINESS TO HIM,

IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT...

GENTLY.

[BELL TOLLS]

NO BETTER, THEN?

WORSE, MR. WESTLOCK.

OH, MUCH WORSE.

POOR FELLOW.

UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT FRIENDS OR RELATIONS HE MIGHT HAVE

OR WHERE THEY MAY LIVE.

WE APPLIED TO YOU, SIR, WHEN HE WAS TAKEN ILL,

'CAUSE WE FOUND YOUR LETTER BY HIS BEDSIDE.

YES. HE WROTE TO ME THE OTHER DAY

REQUESTING A MEETING, AND I REPLIED, BUT...

I HAVE NOT SEEN HIM FOR YEARS,

NOT SINCE WE WERE SCHOOLFELLOWS TOGETHER.

WELL, AS THE DOCTOR SAYS,

THE FEVER MUST TAKE ITS COURSE.

NOTHING CAN BE DONE JUST NOW

BEYOND CAREFULLY ATTENDING HIM

UNTIL SUCH TIME AS HE CAN GIVE US SOME INFORMATION.

I WILL UNDERTAKE TO PAY THE DOCTOR AND THE NURSES.

A REAL GENTLEMAN!

Landlady: THIS IS THE NIGHT NURSE, SIR.

UH, MRS. GAMP OF KINGSGATE STREET, SIR,

WELL BEKNOWN TO MRS. PRIG, THE DAY NURSE.

I WAS BEGINNING TO THINK YOU WEREN'T A-COMING.

OH, IT SHALL BE MADE GOOD TOMORROW NIGHT, BETSY.

HONORABLE. I HAD TO FETCH ME THINGS.

YEH. HOW'S THE PATIENT?

OH, HE'S QUIET NOW, BUT HIS WITS IS GONE.

OH. ANYTHING ELSE TO TELL AFORE YOU GOES, MY DEAR?

THE PICKLED SALMON IS DELICIOUS.

BUT DON'T HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE COLD MEAT,

FOR IT TASTES OF THE STABLE.

THE DRINKS IS ALL GOOD.

THE EASY CHAIR AIN'T SOFT ENOUGH,

SO YOU'LL WANT HIS PILLOW. I'LL BE OFF, THEN.

I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.

YOU MIGHT TELL THE MAID ON YOUR WAY OUT

IF THEY DRAWS THE BRIGHTON OLD TIPPER HERE,

I TAKES THAT ALE AT NIGHT,

IT BEING CONSIDERED WAKEFUL BY THE DOCTORS.

HEH HEH HEH.

THERE.

OH, I'M GLAD TO SEE THERE'S A PARAPETS IN CASE OF FIRE.

LOTS OF ROOFS AND CHIMNEY POTS TO WALK UPON.

AHHH...

[SNIFFING]

AH-CHOO! [SNORTS]

MAKE A LOVELY CORPSE. HEH HEH.

[THUD]

MR. CHUZZLEWIT!

HERE IS JONAS.

WELL, NEPHEW.

YOU'VE BEEN A DUTIFUL SON, I HEAR...

A PATTERN TO ALL SONS.

I'VE BEEN AS GOOD A SON AS EVER YOU WERE A BROTHER, I THINK.

OH...HEH.

MR. CHUZZLEWIT KNOWS YOUR FONDNESS FOR REPARTEE, JONAS.

HE WILL NOT BE OFFENDED.

YOU SPEAK IN THE VIOLENCE OF YOUR GRIEF.

GIVE ME YOUR HAND.

COME IN, COME IN, MY DEARS.

THOMAS, PRAY COME IN.

WHAT A DAY THIS IS.

WE SHALL ALL SIT DOWN AT TABLE IN PEACE AND HARMONY.

JONAS, UH, WILL YOU TAKE MERCY TO THE DINING ROOM,

AND WE'LL FOLLOW.

I DON'T MIND, PECKSNIFF.

[SOBS]

[PECKSNIFF LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

IT'S--IT'S MERELY

AN HYSTERICAL AFFECTION, NOTHING MORE.

I'M NOT UNEASY. SHE WILL RETURN.

SO. LET'S GO IN TO SUPPER, AND, UH, AFTERWARDS

I WILL ESCORT YOU AND MISS GRAHAM

BACK TO THE DRAGON.

NO, NO. LET MR. PINCH DO THAT,

SINCE HE SHOWED US THE WAY HERE.

WHATEVER YOU WISH, SIR.

AND YOU ARE QUITE CONTENT

WITH YOUR SITUATION HERE,

ARE YOU, MR. PINCH?

YES, INDEED, SIR. I'M UNDER MANY OBLIGATIONS TO MR. PECKSNIFF.

I COULDN'T REPAY THEM IN A LIFETIME.

A LIFETIME, INDEED.

AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN MY NEPHEW?

YOUR NEPHEW, SIR? YOU DON'T MEAN--

MR. JONAS CHUZZLEWIT.

OH, DEAR ME. TO BE SURE.

I NEVER SPOKE TO HIM BEFORE THIS EVENING.

PERHAPS HALF A LIFETIME WILL SUFFICE

FOR THE ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF HIS KINDNESS.

THE PATH IS NARROW, AND THE GRASS IS WET.

YOU GO AHEAD, MARY.

TAKE MR. PINCH'S ARM.

MAY I?

OF COURSE.

GOOD NIGHT, MISS GRAHAM.

GOOD NIGHT, SIR.

[WHISTLING]

HA! GOODNESS ME, MR. JONAS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I SUPPOSE I HAVE AS MUCH RIGHT TO BE HERE AS YOU,

MR. PITCH...OR STITCH...

OR WHATEVER IT IS YOUR NAME IS.

UH, CERTAINLY. BUT MY NAME IS PINCH.

HAVE THE GOODNESS TO CALL ME BY IT.

HA HA HA! HOITY-TOITY.

PAUPER APPRENTICES ARE LOOKING UP.

WE MANAGE 'EM MUCH BETTER IN THE CITY.

LET ME PASS, PLEASE.

NOT SO FAST.

LET ME GIVE YOU A WORD OF ADVICE, MY FRIEND.

IF YOU ESCORT MY UNCLE HOME,

THEN YOU WALK BEHIND HIM...

LIKE ANY OTHER SERVANT.

THAT'S A DESPICABLE REMARK.

BUT THE LESS I SAY, THE BETTER.

THE LESS YOU SAY.

[CHUCKLES]

YOU SAY VERY LITTLE, DON'T YOU?

ECOD, I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THERE IS

BETWEEN YOU AND A CERTAIN VAGABOND MEMBER OF MY FAMILY.

IF YOU MEAN YOUR UNCLE'S NAMESAKE, HE IS NO VAGABOND.

AND ANY COMPARISON BETWEEN YOU AND HIM

IS IMMEASURABLY TO YOUR DISADVANTAGE.

HA HA! INDEED.

AND WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HIS BEGGARLY LEAVINGS, EH, MR. PINCH?

IT LOOKED TO ME

AS IF YOU'D BE QUITE HAPPY TO TAKE HER OFF HIS HANDS.

LET ME PASS.

I HAVEN'T FINISHED YET.

ARE YOU BADLY HURT? I'M SORRY FOR IT.

GO TO HELL.

I'M SURE I NEVER GAVE YOU ANY CAUSE TO QUARREL WITH ME.

HERE.

YOU'D BETTER STAY OUT OF MY WAY IN FUTURE, PINCH.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCK KNOCK]

MR. PINCH... TELL ME THE TRUTH.

JONAS CAME BACK JUST AFTER YOU

WITH A WOUND TO HIS HEAD,

SAYING HE HAD RUN AGAINST A TREE, BUT I THINK

THAT THERE WAS SOME QUARREL BETWEEN YOU AND YOU STRUCK HIM.

WAS IT SO, OR NOT?

I WAS VERY MUCH PROVOKED.

THEN IT WAS.

WE HAD A STRUGGLE FOR THE PATH, BUT I DID NOT MEAN TO HURT HIM.

DON'T SAY THAT. IT WAS BRAVE OF YOU.

OH, I HONOR YOU FOR IT.

IF YOU SHOULD EVER QUARREL WITH HIM AGAIN,

DON'T SPARE HIM FOR THE WORLD.

[ROOSTER CROWS]

[HARPSICHORD PLAYS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[PLAYING STOPS]

I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR PLAYING, MISS GRAHAM.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

YOU PLAY SO BEAUTIFULLY.

THANK YOU.

I'M SURPRISED HOW WELL THIS INSTRUMENT RESPONDS NOW,

COMPARED TO WHEN I FIRST TRIED IT.

I THINK SOME KIND PERSON HAS SPENT MANY HOURS TUNING IT.

WELL, HE WAS WELL REWARDED THEN.

MISS GRAHAM...

I HAVE A LETTER FOR YOU.

FROM MARTIN?

IT WAS DELIVERED TO THE DRAGON

ENCLOSED IN ONE ADDRESSED TO ME. THANK GOD.

HE'S REACHED AMERICA SAFELY, THEN?

YES. HE WRITES FROM NEW YORK.

GIVE ME THE LETTER.

OH.

PLEASE EXCUSE ME.

THANK YOU, MR. PINCH.

Martin: MY DEAREST LOVE,

WE ARRIVED HERE A WEEK AGO

AFTER A VOYAGE THAT TESTED EVEN MY RESOLUTION.

THE WEATHER WAS BAD,

THE CONDITIONS BELOWDECKS VERY SHOCKING.

AT LAST, AFTER 5 WRETCHED WEEKS,

WE REACHED THE MOUTH OF THE RIVER HUDSON

AND THE ISLAND OF MANHATTAN.

ON THE PADDLE BOAT THAT TOOK US TO THE WHARF,

I MADE THE ACQUAINTANCE OF AN AMERICAN GENTLEMAN:

A GENERAL DIVER, WHO HAD COME OUT TO MEET OUR SHIP.

HE HAD NO IDEA THAT I HAD TRAVELED IN STEERAGE,

AND WE GOT ON FAMOUSLY.

LUCKILY FOR US, HE TURNED OUT TO BE A SHAREHOLDER

IN THE EDEN LAND CORPORATION,

EDEN BEING THE NAME OF A THRIVING NEW COMMUNITY

AT THE JUNCTION OF THE OHIO AND MISSISSIPPI RIVERS.

HE WAS THUS ABLE TO INTRODUCE ME

TO THE AGENT OF THE COMPANY AT THEIR NEW YORK OFFICE.

WHY, I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS A CITY.

OH, IT'S A CITY, ALL RIGHT.

DEAR ME, IT'S A MOST IMPORTANT-LOOKING PLACE.

LOOK AT THIS, MARK.

THERE'S A MARKETPLACE, A CHURCH, A THEATER.

THE ONLY THING IS,

I'M NOT SURE THERE'S ANYTHING LEFT FOR ME TO DO HERE.

WELL, IT AIN'T BUILT YET. NOT QUITE.

AH. GOOD.

THE MARKETPLACE, NOW. IS THAT BUILT?

THAT? LET ME SEE.

NO. THAT AIN'T BUILT.

RATHER A GOOD JOB TO BEGIN WITH.

I SUPPOSE THERE ARE SEVERAL ARCHITECTS THERE?

NO, THERE AIN'T A SINGLE ONE.

DO YOU HEAR THAT?

BUT WHOSE WORK IS THIS BEFORE US, THEN?

THE SOIL BEING VERY FRUITFUL,

PUBLIC BUILDINGS GROW SPONTANEOUS, PERHAPS.

MARK.

NEVER MIND WHOSE WORK IT IS OR ISN'T.

MAYBE HE CLEARED OFF HANDSOME WITH A HEAP OF DOLLARS.

MAYBE THAT DESK AND STOOL AIN'T MADE FROM EDEN LUMBER.

MAYBE NO END OF SETTLERS AIN'T GONE OUT THERE.

MAYBE THERE AIN'T NO SUCH LOCATION

IN THE TERRITORY OF THE GREAT UNITED STATES. OH, NO.

WE BEG YOUR PARDON, MR. SCADDER.

TELL THEM ABOUT THAT LITTLE LOT OF 50 ACRES

WITH THE HOUSE UPON IT, SCADDER--

THE ONE THAT'S JUST BECOME AVAILABLE.

YOU'RE A GREAT DEAL TOO OPENHANDED

WITH THE COMPANY'S ASSETS, GENERAL.

YOU KNOW AS IT'S A LOT WE HAD CONCLUDED

TO RESERVE FOR PARTICULAR FRIENDS.

BUT THESE ARE MY PARTICULAR FRIENDS.

WHERE IS THIS LOT?

Martin: THE PRICE WAS VERY REASONABLE,

BUT ALAS BEYOND MY MEANS.

I CONSEQUENTLY INVITED MARK TO BECOME MY PARTNER

AND TO INVEST HIS SAVINGS IN A JOINT BUSINESS

TO BE CALLED CHUZZLEWIT & TAPLEY.

THE GOOD FELLOW WAS HIGHLY DELIGHTED

AND MODESTLY REQUESTED THAT WE SHOULD BE KNOWN AS CHUZZLEWIT AND CO.,

SAYING, "I OFTEN THOUGHT AS I'D LIKE TO MEET A CO.,

BUT I LITTLE THOUGHT AS I SHOULD LIVE TO BE ONE."

BY THE TIME YOU RECEIVE THIS,

MARK AND I WILL BE ON OUR WAY WESTWARD

TO TAKE POSSESSION OF OUR PROPERTY.

DON'T EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ME AGAIN FOR SOME TIME.

I KISS THIS LETTER AND THROUGH IT, YOU.

YOUR EVERLOVING MARTIN.

IS THAT YOU, GRIFFIN?

HAVE YOU COME TO BOTHER ME AGAIN?

OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE THAT IMPOSSIBLE MAN OF MINE.

[BELL TOLLS]

WHEN ARE YOU TO BE MARRIED?

OH, GOODNESS ME, I DON'T KNOW.

NOT YET AWHILE, I HOPE.

COME, MERCY. I THINK MR. JONAS IS GROWING IMPATIENT.

YOU MUST HAVE SOME HEART.

I HAVEN'T GIVEN IT ALL AWAY YET, I CAN TELL YOU.

HAVE YOU PARTED WITH ANY OF IT?

LOR, MR. CHUZZLEWIT. YOU DO ASK SUCH ODD QUESTIONS.

IS IT SO ODD TO INQUIRE WHETHER YOU LOVE THE MAN YOU'RE ENGAGED TO MARRY?

I TOLD THE WRETCH WHEN HE ASKED ME THAT IF EVER I DID MARRY HIM,

IT WOULD ONLY BE THAT I MIGHT HATE AND TEASE HIM ALL MY LIFE.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, CHILD, SPEAK AND THINK FOR ONCE

LIKE A REASONABLE CREATURE.

ARE YOU BEING FORCED INTO THIS MATCH BY...

ANYONE?

NO. I DON'T KNOW THAT I AM.

I'M TOLD HE WAS AT FIRST SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR SISTER'S ADMIRER.

OH, GOOD GRACIOUS, MR. CHUZZLEWIT.

POOR DEAR CHERRY IS THE VAINEST DARLING.

IT WAS HER MISTAKE, THEN?

I HOPE IT WAS.

AND YOU'RE QUITE HAPPY IN YOUR ENGAGEMENT?

I DON'T MIND IT.

HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU--

EXCUSE ME FOR BEING SO BLUNT,

BUT I HAVE YOUR INTEREST AT HEART--

THAT A MARRIAGE WITHOUT LOVE

MAY PERHAPS BE FULL OF BITTERNESS...

AND MOST UNHAPPY?

GOOD GRACIOUS, MR. CHUZZLEWIT, WHAT VERY SHOCKING WORDS.

OF COURSE I SHALL QUARREL WITH HIM.

MARRIED PEOPLE ALWAYS DO QUARREL, I THINK.

BUT I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD BE MISERABLE...

UNLESS HE ALWAYS GETS THE BEST OF IT.

AND I MEAN TO HAVE THE BEST OF IT MYSELF. [GIGGLING]

I ALWAYS DO NOW,

FOR I MAKE A PERFECT SLAVE OF THE CREATURE.

[GIGGLES]

VERY WELL.

I SOUGHT TO KNOW YOUR MIND, MY DEAR...

AND YOU HAVE SHOWN IT TO ME.

I WISH YOU JOY.

JOY.

OH!

HA HA HA!

OH, YOU HIDEOUS CREATURE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY FRIGHTENING PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR WITS?

DON'T YOU DARE SIT DOWN BESIDE ME, GRIFFIN.

WHAT'S MY UNCLE BEEN A-TALKING ABOUT?

ABOUT YOU.

HE SAYS YOU'RE NOT HALF GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

HA HA! I DARESAY.

HE MEANS TO GIVE YOU SOME PRESENT WORTH HAVING, I HOPE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ONLY GIVING YOU A SQUEEZE.

THERE'S NO HARM IN THAT, I SUPPOSE.

THERE'S A GREAT DEAL OF HARM IN IT

IF I DON'T CONSIDER IT AGREEABLE.

AND I DON'T.

KINDLY TAKE YOUR ARM AWAY.

I SAY, NOW...

WHEN IS IT TO BE?

OUR WEDDING, I MEAN.

I CAN'T CARRY ON DAWDLING ABOUT DOWN HERE HALF MY LIFE, YOU KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO NEXT WEEK?

NEXT WEEK?

IF YOU HAD SAID NEXT QUARTER,

I SHOULD HAVE WONDERED AT YOUR IMPUDENCE.

BUT I DIDN'T SAY NEXT QUARTER.

I SAID NEXT WEEK.

IF IT'S NEXT MONTH, THAT'S THE VERY EARLIEST.

AND IF YOU FOLLOW ME ABOUT AND WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE

AND DON'T DO EVERYTHING I ORDER YOU TO,

IT SHALL NEVER BE AT ALL, SO THERE.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, GRIFFIN?

SHOW YOU DO BY NOT FOLLOWING ME NOW.

ECOD, MY LADY...

YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS WHEN WE ARE MARRIED.

Mrs. Gamp: THINGS HAVE BEEN MADE AS COMFORTABLE

AS THEY COULD BE, MY PRETTY DEAR.

BUT THERE'S MANY YOU'LL HAVE TO ALTER YOUR OWN SELF

WHEN YOU'VE HAD TIME TO LOOK AROUND.

SO THERE YOU ARE, MR. CHUFF.

STILL IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING, I SEE.

SO HE IS, AND HAS YOU TO THANK FOR IT.

MANY A TIME I'VE TOLD HIM.

WE SHAN'T BE NEEDING YOU ANYMORE, MRS. GAMP.

I'LL BE GOING IMMEDIATE, SIR.

UNLESS THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU, MA'AM.

NO, THANK YOU.

WOULD YOU BE SO GOOD,

MY DARLING DOVEY OF A DEAR YOUNG MARRIED LADY,

AS TO PUT THIS SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU CAN KEEP IT IN YOUR MIND?

GAMP'S THE NAME. LIVING QUITE HANDY.

I'LL BE SO BOLD AS TO CALL IN NOW AND AGAIN

TO INQUIRE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH

AND YOUR SPIRITS, MY PRETTY CHICK.

GOOD DAY, SIR.

OH, IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, I SUPPOSE.

IT IS A LITTLE DREARY, JONAS.

PERHAPS WITH SOME NEW FURNITURE.

NEW FURNITURE?

WHY, THESE PIECES ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANOTHER 50 YEARS.

YOU'RE A NICE ARTICLE TO TURN SULKY

ON YOUR FIRST COMING HOME.

THE WOMAN'S DOWNSTAIRS. RING THE BELL FOR SUPPER

WHILE I TAKE OFF MY BOOTS.

ARE YOU THE ONE THEY CALL MERRY?

YES.

YOU'RE NOT MARRIED, ARE YOU?

NOT MARRIED TO JONAS?

YES, OF COURSE, I AM.

OH!

WHY, GOOD HEAVENS, WHAT IS THE MATTER?

OH, WOE, WOE UPON THIS WICKED HOUSE.

[SNORING]

Lewsome: OHH!

[SNORTS] AHH, SHH...

OH, I THOUGHT I WAS A...

A-SLEEPING TOO PLEASANT TO LAST.

OHH! [COUGHS]

DON'T MAKE NONE OF THAT NOISE IN HERE!

OOH. IT'S A CHILLY NIGHT.

[SHIVERING] LOOK THERE.

DO YOU SEE THEM?

SEE WHO?

THE MEN PASSING THROUGH THIS ROOM.

IN AT THE WINDOW AND OUT AT THE DOOR.

ALL OF THEM WEARING BLACK CREPE AROUND THEIR HATS.

LET ME BE SURE OF THIS!

TOUCH ME!

YOU'LL HAVE YOUR SLEEPING DRAUGHT

AS SOON AS I'VE MADE A KETTLE BOILED,

AND YOU'LL GET TOUCHED THEN

IF YOU DON'T TAKE IT QUIET. NO, NO!

CHUZZLEWIT!

CHUZZLEWIT?

NO!

NO!

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--