Original subtitles

E. Fontaine, ladies and gentlemen, the voice of the ship.

Big Christmas smiles, everyone.

Ho, ho, ho.

One on our own? Oh, yeah. Just you and the talent. That would be amazing.

We all need some stardust, my darling.

Oh, that one's perfect, Donna.

It's going to look great on the socials.

I've been a fan since I was nine years old.

Let's go on back a bit.

She was probably the headline act on the Ark.

Thank you so much.

Well, I'm sure you've been through it since you were diagnosed.

Primary, biliary, cholangitis.

I know, a mouthful. Her liver doesn't work anymore.

Right. Everyone's been so kind.

Crowdfunded food, upgraded cabin.

Dinner at the captain's table.

And front row seats to Eve's headline show later.

Thank you.

We really ought to be.

Yes. Can I?

Group hug.

Oh, right.

Hey,

you do look exhausted.

A lie down's going to do you the world of good. Honestly, Bernie, stop

You still haven't taken your pill? Yeah, and listen, we need you on top of all

this because if the Christmas panto and yours truly here is paying buttons.

That's supposed to now wouldn't hurt.

I'll catch you later for mulled wine and mince pies.

You will. Bye. Colin, a word.

Eve, the flowers in my dressing room have brought on my allergies. I

specifically requested no lilies.

All right, well, I must have missed that on the rider. I'll speak to hospitality

for you. Yeah, and I'll need a massage and a facial before this afternoon's

sound check.

Already booked in with Rashira? And no more fan meets.

This cruise ship plebs will be the death of me.

Jo, she carries on like this. I swear she's going overboard.

Let's wait until Christmas is over, shall we?

Bring back Jack Grayling.

All is forgiven.

Alicante Port Authority have given it permission to start our approach.

We've got the wind with the tide, so with any luck, we should be on schedule.

You've been out of sorts since we left Southampton.

Coming to work with lead in the shoes.

Christmas was always Jack's favorite time of year.

Since he left the ship.

No one's heard a peep from him.

Well, maybe that's the best.

There is an excursion this afternoon to Santa Domenica, the Christmas

pilgrimage, where both do a little shore leave.

Could go together.

I still have the locks to complete.

Perhaps a little festive downtime would do you the world of good.

Feliz Navidad, amigos. This is Colin, your cruise director.

all guests that the ship has now arrived in sunny Alicante.

Perfect for some last -minute festive shopping.

So why not grab a sombrero, crack open the carver, because the countdown to

Christmas starts here.

That is Fontaine Post. We've gone viral.

Yeah, the podcast has got quite a following.

Yeah, when Donna first found out she needed special treatment, we set up a

crowdfunding appeal.

For stem cell surgery out in Arizona.

Bernie's always been there for me.

Every step of the way. What a best friend for her.

How'd you milk?

Fill that one up, will you?

Whatever the ladies want.

We're fine.

I wouldn't mind a pineapple juice.

It's been all over her since the start of the course.

Didn't fancy dressing up as Santa then.

Well, you know, I like to stand out from the crowd, don't I?

You're hardly going to pull wearing that.

I'm a young, green, single.

Well, you're not surprised, are you?

No. I've got you a little Christmas present.

You didn't have to do that.

That's all right.

Hold that, will you?

Let's see what it looks like on you, shall we?

Thank you.

Lovely.

Beautiful.

Listen, the lads are going to go into town later for a few drinks, but I mean,

could swerve it. I mean, you could maybe, you know, hang out with your...

busy today.

The Pilgrim is just at the Dominican.

Bernie's still holding out for a Christmas miracle.

All right, well, you've changed your mind.

All I wanted on this cruise was a bit of fun.

After everything I've been through, I've only just met him and he's already

buying me fancy presents.

I'm just looking out for you.

You'll be late for the tour.

Donna, sorry.

The Sanctuary of Los Peregrinos was recently founded after a local girl...

Tomasina Fernandez was visited by the Blessed Virgin in one of the orange

groves. She was entrusted to build a shrine where the sick and the injured

come to be healed.

Well, they're certainly packing in the faithful.

Is that

a prayer for you this morning?

Miracles don't happen to people like me.

You've got to have faith, Tom.

Right, right.

What happened to the pub crew?

No lads will cope without me.

I thought you could do us some moral support, anyway.

It's been a while since we spent any time together.

Well, there's no reason we can't still be friends.

As we celebrate Christmas with communion and prayer, I would like to invite the

sick and the indisposed to step forward for a blessing at the Shrine of Our

Lady.

Thank you, Father. It was lovely.

It was a beautiful service. Thank you.

Perhaps a small donation for the upkeep of the church. Yes.

When are you going to realise she isn't interested?

Don't tell her that, does she?

I know a chance of when I see one. Let's get it right. Don't settle yourself up

with decent kids, fellas. Put your nose right out.

You really think she'd settle for a loser like this?

She's out of your league, Jason.

Is everything all right? Doctor thinks you're going to need a transplant.

Vomiting, jaundice, swollen ankle.

You really fancy taking all that on, yeah?

Don't know.

You all right?

Frankie! You haven't seen a couple of small shepherds, have you?

Robes, sandals... I know what they look like, Colin. Oh, absolute carnage in

Bethlehem. All the kids are high on sugar.

You wanted to see me?

Oh, yeah. I just wanted to run through some changes to your set list. There's

been a couple of festive additions.

I can't cope with these last -minute changes, Colin. It's highly

Eve! There you are. Richard!

I was just checking that you were still on for lunch.

Un cicadito, where the paella is to die for.

Well, she'll be busy rehearsing.

Lunch would be perfect, if you're sure you can spare the time. Five hours,

surely, and the pleasure of your delightful company.

You spoil me, you know that.

I know. Shall we?

Let's remember his top of the billow.

Not a word.

You OK?

Just needed to sit down.

Must have been overdoing things.

All right, well, let's get you back to the ship, shall we?

I'm fine.

I think I'd rather the doctor check you over, if that's all right.

We'd better get a move on or we'll miss this bus.

Where is Bernie?

She said she wanted to see the Ignatius Chapel.

I can wait with Donna.

All right, well, we'll see if we can find her, yeah?

You all right, darling?

Yeah. Sure?

Yeah.

Kate. Oh, my God.

I know that happened to you.

I

saw

a nun in the toy store just before we found the body. She was running off

towards the abbey.

The sisters often frequent the closets as they go about their daily business.

Well, I just think the sooner we talk to her... Thomasina has taken a vow of

silence. No one outside the company is permitted to speak to her.

Thomasina? The child that saw the visions?

The Abbey has offered her sanctuary.

A life devoted to the service of Christ.

I've given the police a statement. They know how to find it.

Did this woman have any family on the boat?

She was traveling with her bad friends, yeah.

Then please, pass on my encircled donuts.

I'm going to give you a thorough check -up, bearing in mind your condition.

I'm feeling much better already.

We've had one hell of a shock.

We are going to run a few tests.

Just to be on the safe side.

I still can't believe Bernie's dead.

Can you think of anyone that she's fallen out with?

Anyone that might be holding a grudge?

She might have rubbed a few people up the wrong way, but... Bernie had a good

heart. Perhaps this isn't the time.

Yeah, sure. I should get back to work. Thank you.

I don't want Sony.

I'd rather be on my own.

She'd been gone 20 minutes and somebody attacked her and left her for dead. It

doesn't make any sense.

There's always a motive for murder.

You just need to look for it.

That's what Jack always said.

Yeah, well, in case you hadn't noticed, Jack isn't here, so... What if I told

you I knew where to find him?

So you're telling me he's been here in Alicante the whole time?

I think it's Jack's room with the secrecy. Oh, that's the certificate of

Grayling, isn't it? Blown away, per usual. Yeah.

Are you sure this is the right place?

I'd recognize that place anywhere.

Come on.

Thank you so much, everybody.

Jamila. Jack.

May, I have missed you so much.

What about me, Jack?

Did you miss me?

Okay. I thought you might have been dead, Jack.

Instead, you've been hiding away here on some pirate ship theme bar.

I've been working my back side off just trying to make ends meet, Kate. Well,

you both put a sock in it.

A passenger was murdered this morning, Jack.

We need your help to solve it.

Oh, so that's why the pair of you are here.

Well, I haven't come to kiss and make up.

Okay, look, let's take a second, Jess.

We can fill you in on what we know.

The victim's name was Bernadette Campbell.

She was on a crowdfunding cruise with her best friend, Donna Branning. They'd

gone to visit the shrine at Santa Domenica.

Piers and I were there when we found the body.

With Piers.

Look, let's just stick to the case here. Any suspects?

One of the nuns from the convent.

I saw her running from the cloister shortly after the murder.

You're seriously suggesting a nun might have killed her?

Right. I know it sounds far -fetched. But we need to rule her out.

We?

Yes.

First thing tomorrow, we go to the village and see she'll talk to us.

Right, fine.

But this is strictly business.

Oh.

What?

Jason doesn't seem it enough today.

Well, that might be something to do with the argument he had with Bernie.

You think he might have taken out the competition?

I don't know.

Look, why don't you speak to some of his friends today, see what you can find

out. Yeah? Yeah.

Good luck with Jack today.

At the convent, I mean.

Yeah.

So, an update from sunny Arizona.

And the bad news is that my stem cell treatment hasn't worked.

Graph failure.

Right now I feel angry, scared, disappointed.

But we keep going.

Wilted the faith.

Wasn't sure you'd come.

Well, there's still a murder to solve.

Well, just as long as you don't go hitting me again.

I've been reading up on Bernie's best friend, Donna.

That treatment she'd been having in Arizona must have cost a fair bit.

Well, I think she raised all the money on crowdfunding.

Look. You've got every right to be mad at me.

It was six months, Jack.

Not a word. You didn't even reply to my messages.

Let me explain.

I think we should get to the convent.

No. Great.

Any more bright ideas?

I just wanted to apologize. I was out of order what I said to Bernie yesterday.

I can't do this right now, Jason.

No, I didn't mean what I said.

You can't talk to people like that.

Let me make it up to you.

No strings attached. You can't be on your own for Christmas, especially after

everything that's happened.

Well, I could do with a date for the show tonight.

I didn't think you'd still be going.

We promised to dedicate the song to Bernie.

Well, I'm not sure I'm selling.

When I left the ship, I lost everything.

The job I loved.

The girl I fell for.

We could have made it work, Jack.

People do.

I know, but I couldn't just sit around and count down the days till I saw you

next. And what you'd say it off again, it would have broken me.

Jack.

They warned me not to talk to you.

So much for the foul silence.

The woman that was killed yesterday, her name was Bernadette.

I don't know anything about that.

Then why did you run when I saw you in the cloister?

I wanted to watch the mass of supplication.

I'm not supposed to leave the convent.

They keep me locked up here ever since the apparition.

A martyr for Christ.

Did you see anybody else in the house?

For this is the blood of the covenant that was poured out for me for the

forgiveness of sins.

Take her inside.

You have to send help.

Wait!

Don't let them hurt me!

This child belongs to Christ now.

Thomasina told us that she was being held here against her will.

Nonsense. She can leave at any time.

You gave instructions to restrain her.

Recently she has become volatile.

The pressure of her newfound elevation.

But the convent is the safest place for her.

Locked up.

Out of harm's way.

I have taken on the role of her protector.

These visions that Thomasina claims to have seen.

You must have had your doubts.

The Pope himself has pronounced it a genuine miracle, and his holiness is

infallible.

Where were you at the time of the murder, if you don't mind me asking,

Disrobing the sacristy.

I have an imminent meeting at the Ayuntamiento in view of recent

events.

I'm sure you can find your own way out.

Thomasina's miracle.

Her accounts of the visions were questioned by people in the village.

They claimed she was subject to religious delusions.

She spent some time in a clinic for bipolar disorder.

Does it make her a killer?

No, I know that.

Rodriguez is all set to become a monsignor for services to the church.

These visions were exposed as a scam.

He'd have an awful lot to lose, yeah.

Still doesn't explain why Bernie was murdered, though.

Maybe she stumbled across something that he was desperate to hide.

Jamil. So, how's it going with Kate?

Yeah, she's here with me now on speakerphone.

Yes, so I have spoken to the lad, and I thought you both

might want to update on Jason Axel.

The passenger that had an argument with Bernie.

Oh. Well, he's very much married, but estranged from his wife.

He's behind with his maintenance payments, his window cleaning business

bust during COVID, and he is up to his eyeballs in debt.

OK, well, thank you very much for the update, and we'll check in with you

Yeah. Bye,

guys. Bye.

How much money has Donna's charity raised?

They're giving for wishes, Paige. Yeah.

Way over £100 ,000 in donations.

Maybe Jason was after more than a Christmas fling.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Oh, no. I am not stepping foot on that ship.

Jack, you never even said goodbye.

Marlowe didn't even give me a choice. And if you seriously think he'd ever let

me back on board... Not in a million years.

With all due respect, Captain, if Jack can help us solve this, it would

literally only mean a few hours on board.

It was crime -solving that got him thrown off the ship in the first place.

could leave this to the Spanish police.

I knew this was a bad idea.

Look, Donna Browning has half a million followers on social media.

When they find out that her best friend was murdered... On a crowdfunded

Christmas cruise.

I think the head office would want this resolving as soon as possible.

And how will they feel about allowing a disgraced entertainer back on board?

Thank you, Mr. Debrace. I am aware of the ramifications.

Look, Jack was dismissed as a member of the crew.

There's nothing to stop him embarking as a passenger. Look, as soon as the ship

sails, I'm gone.

We sail at eight o 'clock sharp, which only leaves you five hours to find

Campbell's killer.

The captain's happened to look into Bernie's murder.

Jack used to be a police officer.

I'm not sure there's anything else I can tell you.

How long have you known Jason Agnew?

A couple of weeks.

We met at the start of the cruise.

Oh, well, he's a fast mover then.

He was already following me on social media.

I feel like I've known him forever.

I got the feeling that you and Jason were at odds yesterday.

Bernie had warned him off.

She could get a bit jealous sometimes.

Did he ever ask you about the crowdfunding money?

He was worried that Bernie might try and take advantage, but I told him she'd

never do that.

Jason wasn't with you when we found you outside the church yesterday.

Do you have any idea where he went?

He was angry at Bernie.

Said she'd humiliated him.

I tried to calm him down, but he wouldn't listen.

Stormed off into the village.

A bit of me time away from the kids.

These Christmas cruises can take it out of you.

Sorry, do I know you?

Sorry, I'm Jack Grayling.

I just came aboard.

The kids are at home with their mum for Christmas soon.

Oh, when were you planning on telling Donna?

Just because I haven't told Donna about my ex -missus, I mean, my marriage has

been done for months.

And you needed to keep the maintenance payments up.

The money that Donna raised for her treatment, that must have been quite an

attractive proposition.

What are you trying to say, that I'm using Donna as some sort of meal ticket?

Well, Bernie had you down with a bit of a chance, sir.

Maybe she had every right to be concerned.

And what's that supposed to mean?

You weren't with Donna yesterday when we found her.

You want to tell us where you were?

Well, I went for a walk to clear my head. Did you walk anywhere near the

Ignatius Chapel?

No.

Look, I've made some really big mistakes in my life, all right?

Lost my business, my wife, my kids.

I'm telling you anyway, you won't understand.

You'd be surprised.

I like Donna, okay?

I want to do right by her.

But with Bernie out of the picture.

Bernie warned me off. I walked away.

That's the last time I saw her, all right?

Well, no!

Stop! Stop!

Don't you tell Dizzy he's always been my uncle.

Well, it's a Christmas Eve concert, which is why Frosty the Snowman will be

sending them home.

I know my audience, Colin.

Yes, and it's my job to keep them happy.

With that tidal shtick you call a warmer pack, do me a favour.

Just because you've got your clothes into Marlowe.

The captain recognises talent when he sees it.

He's the only one who doesn't think you've passed it.

You do know I was offered the Blackpool Grand.

Oh, come off it, Eve. It was this or it was Panto in Huddersfield, the Wicked

Queen. Well, it takes one to know one, Colin.

So why don't you shtick to your Christmas karaoke?

Leave the real entertainment to the pros.

Pros?

You're a washed -up tube in cabaret act.

When you're ready to apologise, I shall be in my dressing room.

Come in.

How's my favourite cruise ship, Doctor?

Jack. Jamil told me you're back.

A little query we need help with.

What can you tell us about chlorpromazine?

It's prescribed as an antipsychotic. Works by suppressing the dopamine

You said Tomasina had been treated for a bipolar disorder.

Yeah.

I'm not sure where all of this is going, Jack.

She told us that she couldn't remember anything.

Well, clearly she was lying.

Memory wipeout. A common symptom of a psychotic episode.

We need to get back to the village.

Thank you. Thank you.

Well, you might like some herbal tea. Yeah.

It will calm in the constitution.

Why does everyone on this ship seem to hate me, Jamil?

No, I'm sure that's not true.

You know what they say about cruise ships.

You're either on your way up or you're on your way down.

Two hours of show tunes in high heels and spandex.

Performing to a crowd wearing leisure wear.

I watched you act from the back of the theatre.

And you must know my voice is sharp.

The doctor found some nodules.

He's recommended surgery.

I've been trying to hide it for weeks now.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I'm planning on jumping ship.

Did you tell Colin about this? He's been out to undermine me since I started

this gig.

No, I'm sure if you talk to him, you're about to call it truth.

It's a bit late for that, love.

shows up.

You never told us that Thomasina was sectioned as a child.

It was none of your concern.

The miracle he witnessed.

An epithel brought on by his schizophrenia.

The seeker at the church had tried to cover up.

And if it ever came to light that you were party to a hoax.

Schizophrenia is a terrible affliction.

A troubled soul possessed by demons.

I was telling you the truth when I told you that I was trying to protect her.

Then tell us what really happened.

I found her in the chapel.

Her eyes were focused on a vision, one that she alone could see.

Tomasina!

I should never have reached out to her.

Thomasina, where are you going?

I followed her outside and saw her running away towards the convent.

Thomasina? So, in her confused mental state, Thomasina attacked

Bernie? Thomasina has never been violent, even when

she's lost to us.

So why have you been lying to us?

She came to me that evening to offer up a confession.

I swear before Christ, she was already dead when I found her.

She was lying in the cloister, bleeding from a wound to her head, crucifix on

the ground beside her.

It was then I saw the necklace.

I picked it up. I don't know why.

I...

knelt down beside her.

There was blood everywhere.

I'm not sure how I got back to my room, but when I came to, I was sitting on the

bed and this was in my pocket.

I found it lying on the ground beside the body.

Either the necklace was Bernie, someone ripped it off in a struggle.

Or the killer was a woman. Which reels out Jason Ackley.

Jack!

Jack. Just give us a minute, businessman. There's something you need

What is it?

Where did you find this?

It was left behind at the murder scene.

Do you know?

I think I know who killed Bernie.

Donna posted this video blog two months ago.

So they've called me in for my pre -op test.

Let's hope I get through this one without any complications.

The placement of the NG nose tube is too far in.

No medical professional would have inserted it that way.

When I checked Donna over yesterday, she seemed a little reluctant to have any

tests. So I did a better investigating of my own.

Her blood test results came back this afternoon.

The numbers made surprising reading.

No indicators of any disease.

I looked up her condition.

People with BPC don't just get better.

Spontaneous remission. There have been some recorded cases.

But it's unlikely.

Unless she was never ill at all.

I still need some more tests.

Just to be sure.

We should be celebrating. It's like a Christmas miracle.

Well, champagne on the house. Thank you.

This might not be the right timing, but I just wonder when we get back if you

might want to make a go of things.

I'd like that, Jason.

Really? I would.

Well, Tony was right.

Keep the faith.

Shame she's not here to enjoy the moment.

After everything she's done for you.

I'm sure all your crowd funders will be keen to hear an update.

After all that money you've scammed out of them.

Sorry? You've... You've lost me.

The evidence that ties you to Bernie's murder.

We just couldn't figure out why.

Then Dr. Tan filled me in on those blood tests we got.

And things started to make more sense.

I called that clinic in Arizona.

They had no record of you ever being a patient there.

Donna? You lied.

About everything.

I swear I was ill.

I really thought it was something serious, and my GP referred me to a

specialist.

Bernie being Bernie, she said she'd come with me.

Like any good friend would.

They gave me the all -clear, and when I saw her waiting outside, I told her they

were starting me on a course of treatment.

Why did you lie, Donna?

It made me feel special.

Hang on a minute. You made all this up for a bit of attention.

And those lies just got bigger, didn't they?

Your blog, your podcast, your followers online.

How could I tell them the truth?

Those hospital visits must have taken some planning.

There's a med room at work. It's easy to buy all that stuff online.

And Bernie didn't suspect a thing.

He wanted to believe it as much as I did.

What did you say to Jason? What?

He's the first guy who's shown any interest and suddenly I'm in the watch.

smother me, Bernie.

Because your own life is sad and empty.

I spent the past six months looking after you. And this is the thanks I get.

All those trips to the hospital, the late night phone calls.

I made it all up.

The diagnosis, the illness.

It's all life.

This is fraud.

Donna, we could both go to prison.

People that we've lied to. Which is why we keep this between us.

No one else needs to know.

And you say that my life is empty.

You think you can just walk away?

Yeah, I do.

Because we are done.

This is done.

You'd be nothing without me.

You know that.

By the time I'm finished, everyone is going to know what you've done.

I couldn't let her ruin everything.

Surely you can see that.

We can wait for the police in your cabin.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Okay, so I might have said a few things in the heat of the moment.

Washed up, two -bit, cabaret act.

Well, I'm sure we can get past it.

Does that mean I get an apology?

This ship isn't big enough for the both of us, Colin.

Well, you're looking at a blatant breach of contract.

Then sue me, twinkle toes.

I was hoping to catch Jack.

He's gone back to his bar.

Said he had a show to do.

But it's not long until the ship sails.

Yeah, and I still have these manifests to complete.

We're supposed to be together.

More than any two people I know.

That's an admirable sentiment, Jamil.

But Jack's quite right.

The ship will survive without him.

We are missing our headline singer.

Go and get him.

That day you left the ship, I could have come with you.

Give up the dream of your own command.

I never would have asked you to do that, Kate.

You think you've got me all figured out, don't you?

I know you better than anyone.

Look, our headline act for tonight has gone AWOL.

Colin is in the middle of a breakdown and we don't have a singer for tonight's

Christmas show.

Then you thought I might fit the bill.

Piers has already cleared it with Marlowe.

Not that he had much of a choice.

And what about you, Kate?

Do you forgive me?

Well, that depends.

On what?

It depends on if you're planning on sticking around.

There's no more second chances, Jack.

The ship sails in less than an hour.

What makes you think I'd be on it?

not leaving without you.

Oh, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. There are only four hours till

Christmas. Are we all excited?

Good, good. Well, listen, I hate to be the Christmas Grinch, but unfortunately,

due to unforeseen circumstances, Eve Fontaine will not be performing for us

tonight.

I know, but fear not.

because we have got a start and replacement for you. Back where he

the voice of this ship. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one, the

Mr. Jack Grayley!

Maybe you've got to go away.

Don't think I could take the pain.

Won't you stay another day?

Oh, don't leave me alone like this.

Don't you say it's the final kiss.

Won't you stay another day?

Don't you know we've come too far now just to go

and try to throw it all away.

Thought I heard you say you love me and that

your love was gonna be here today.

me if you've got to go away.

Don't think I could take the pain.

Won't you stay another day?

Oh, don't leave me alone like this.

Don't you say it's the final kiss.

Won't you stay another

Thought I might find you here.

Just cutting down the minutes to Christmas Day.

It's good to have you home.

It's good to be home.

Thank you.

Thank

you.

The game's afoot, Jamil.

We just need to narrow it down. Who had a motive?

Their alibi is a sham.

Fancy playing detectives?

Now you're talking.

I said stop!

Next mistake.

It could endanger the passengers.

Can't you two go anywhere without someone getting murdered?