Original subtitles

� �

[Bart] This is it, Bart. If you strike Uter out,

the team gets a pizza party and you'll die a legend.

Lose and we just get the pizza party.

I've seen better batters

at the International House of Pancakes!

This is a children's game, Herr Comic Book Mensch.

And?

Und das ist mein son that you are trash-en talk-en.

Your son? Oh, dear. If I had known-

Send this eunuch back to Munich!

Blitzkrieg!

-[grunting] -[crowd gasping]

[kids cheering]

It only took 200 years,

but baseball finally got interesting.

[grunting]

Dang, that dude's a certified badass.

[scoffs] Our dad could take him.

He teaches Brazilian jiujitsu on Zoom.

My dad does security for James Corden.

You know how many people want to punch James Corden?

Well, my dad's a badass, too.

I bet he could kill everyone in town...

through workplace incompetence.

[laughs] Oh, Bart,

"dumbass" is not synonymous with "badass."

[laughing]

Oh, yeah? Well, what does your dad do?

Executes inmates via lethal injection.

[kids exclaim]

[respectfully] Ha-ha.

My dad is tough. Right?

[Homer shrieks] Please don't hurt me!

Just take my money!

If that's not enough, we can go to an ATM.

-[goose honking] -[Bart moans]

Hey, slugger. What you watching? The game?

Shh. Great Masked British Bake Off.

I think Nurse Shark is Nancy Pelosi.

[Bart groans]

Hey, I got tickets to tonight's MMA fight.

Should be pretty badass.

Eh, why don't you take Lisa?

She could use some toughening up.

Homer, either bond with your son

or help me fold this laundry.

Hmm.

Mm.

Hmm.

[groans] Fine.

[ring announcer] Springfield Brawliseum,

are you ready to fist?

[crowd cheering]

Celebrities with us at ringside tonight,

retired heavyweight champ and CTE denier,

Drederick Tatum.

Aviator and man about town,

Arnie Pye.

And Latin TV star and owner of tonight's sponsor,

�Ay, mi Cabeza Mezcal!

Bumblebee Man.

[crowd cheering]

But first, it's time to scour the crowd for our...

most macho fan!

Is it this guy?

-[grunting] -[cheering]

How about this dude?

[shouts]

[straining]

[cheering]

Or is it...

-him? -[crowd boos]

Look, sweetie, we're on the kiss cam.

Stop, Dad. You're embarrassing me.

What the hell's your problem?

My problem? [strains]

I have the wussiest dad in town!

[gasps] Wuss?

W-Whoa!

[grunting]

Son of a-

[grunting]

Hey, Carl, your shoelace is untied.

So's yours.

-Crisscross! -Crisscross!

[Homer grunts]

[Homer shouting]

[metallic dinging]

[shouting] D'oh!

[shouting]

[crowd gasping]

The winner is Cotton Candy Fatso!

-[cheering] -That was incredible!

[gasps]

Dad, Dad,

please don't cry on pay-per-view.

Se�or Fatso.

That was the most hilarious fall I've ever seen in my life!

The antics, the physics, the annoyed grunts.

Sir, I would like to buy you a drink.

Throw in a food and you've got a deal.

Wow. The BumbleBee Man.

You're a Springfield legend, dude.

Like Krusty or Duffman or the Tiki Bar Strangler.

[chuckles] You flatter me, young man.

And, please, call me Pedro.

I didn't know you, uh,

"yacht rock" types watch my show.

Are you kidding? I don't know Spanish,

but when you get kicked in the junk by a nun,

you speak the international language of crotch.

[chuckles] Believe it or not,

I didn't set out to be a physical comedian.

I left Mexico with dreams of being a serious actor

in Hollywood.

Unfortunately, I was brought

to the wrong sign by a stupid money-hungry coyote.

[sighs]

It was the worst day of my life.

Then I came upon a grand opening

for a new Spanish language TV station.

It was the best day of my life!

I ran in, destined to become a star

no matter how long it took

or what I had to do to get there.

[buzzing]

[shouts]

[screaming]

�Las avispas! �Me pican las avispas!

[shouting]

[grunting]

[screams, groans]

[shouts]

[grunts]

[groaning]

Ay yi yi...

[laughter]

You, sir, are going to be a star.

[gasps]

And so Bumblebee Man was born.

A tragi-comic figure cursed by the cosmos,

like Sisyphus or Benny Hill.

[studio audience laughing]

No matter what life throws at him,

he always gets up and tries again, just like

the hardworking people that watch my show.

So, day after day, year after year,

I sacrificed my bumble body

on the altar of comedy.

I thought I was invincible,

like Curly from the Stooges.

But alas, I was just a mortal Shemp.

I suppose time catches up to us all.

Now, my tired show limps on in the shadow of its former glory.

Simpsons, have you any idea

-what this is like? -[remote clicks]

Are you gonna... quit?

I was, until I saw

your father's hilarious fall down those steps!

You got up without a scratch.

[gasps] That reminds me.

Homero, would you do me the honor

of becoming my stunt double?

Stunt double?

That's the badass-iest job a dad could have.

He'll do it!

What are you, crazy?

Think about it, Homer. You get to crash cars

and have bottles broken over your head.

All the stuff you do now, but you get paid for it.

You'd be the toughest dad ever. Say yes.

� �

You've got yourself a stuntman.

He said yes!

[playing Felix Mendelssohn's "Wedding March"]

There's the stuntman

that's going to save my career.

Come in. It is time.

This is no mere costume.

It is the armor of hope,

a beacon of light.

A symbol of truth, justice,

and the Mexican-American guey.

Uh, Homero, you're wearing the stinger in the front.

[chuckles] Whoops. A man can dream.

En garde. [grunting]

Before we get started, I must ask you

to sign a nondisclosure agreement,

for my fans would be devastated

to know I'm not doing my own stunts.

No problem, Pedro.

I've signed tons of NDAs.

In fact, I just signed one at work.

Apparently, our drinking water is full of radioactive...

nothing.

Mmm, pastel delicioso.

[director] Cut. El doble.

You got this, tough guy.

[director] Accion.

[stammering]

[screaming]

Ow! Ow!

Ooh! [shouting]

Ow!

-[sizzles] -[sighs]

[shouting]

�Ay yi yi!

[laughter]

-Incre�ble. -Wow.

Just like the old days.

That fat guero can take a hit.

-Homer! -[cheering]

[camera clicks]

[Bart] And then everyone on set high-fived Dad,

even the non-writing producers.

Ooh, they're a hard bunch to please.

[mockingly] � Bart's proud of Dad �

[both] � Bart's proud of Dad. �

Oh, it's true.

I can't wait to tell the kids at school

that my dad is BumbleBee Man's stunt guy.

No dice, boy. That's a secret.

Remember, I signed that MDMA.

Aw, man.

What's the use of having a badass in the family

if you can't brag about him?

Now I know how the Mangiones feel.

Dad, isn't it problematic for a white man

to double for a Mexican actor?

The director thought that, too,

so he gave me these brown sleeves to wear.

[gasps] But that's brownface.

No, it's just "brown-arms-and-legs."

Besides, with all the ICE going on these days,

isn't it better to have a white guy suffer

instead of a Mexican guy?

Well, you got me there.

Not too much suffering, right?

'Cause I don't want you getting badly hurt.

Relax, honey. It's all pies in the face

and slipping on plantain peels.

I'll be fine.

� I might fall from a tall building �

� I might roll a brand-new car �

� 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman �

� That made Redford such a star. �

� �

Honey, I'm ho- What the hell?

I'm just hugging you.

I'm happy you're home. [grunts]

-Mm. -Are you crying?

Yes. I've never gotten

an after-work hug from you before.

Also, I have three fractured ribs on that side.

It sucks not being able to brag about my dad.

How can you stand not getting credit

for all those awesome stunts?

Hey, who needs credit when you get after-work hugs

from your twin boys?

Did you get a concussion today, Dad?

Maybe. Don't tell your mothers.

Homero, you are one hell of a stuntman.

All in a day's work, amigo.

Yup. Anyhoo, I gotta go pee some blood.

BumbleBee Man? Wha...? [laughs]

I am a huge fan. I'm Johnny-

Johnny Knoxville from Jackass. Of course I know you.

Oh, my goodness. Every great bit I ever did

was because of you.

"Power wash enema,"

"crab Jacuzzi,"

"fire ant facial."

You are too kind. Tell me,

when is the next Jackass picture coming out?

Oh, I'm done with those, man.

My body just can't take it anymore.

But the studio keeps asking.

They even suggested I secretly use a stuntman.

[chuckles nervously]

The nerve of those frijole counters.

They don't get guys like us.

We'd rather traumatize a film crew

with our grisly on-set deaths

than ever let some stuntman take our hits, right?

Hey, Pedro, they need us back on set so we can-

Huh. Who's this fella

that's got your exact size and build?

Uh, this is my... trainer.

He keeps me comedically obese.

Hey, you're doing a bang-up job, tubby.

Let's toast. They might've replaced our knees,

shoulders and, uh, other stuff...

but they can never replace our integrity.

[moans softly]

I'm a liar and a fraud.

What was I thinking, hiring a stuntman?

You were thinking "let someone else get banged up

for a change." That's fine.

No! My audience expects to see me getting banged,

hard and often! And I lied to them.

For what? Ratings? Money?

A stupid Calvin Klein ad?

[cries]

I'm nothing but a sellout.

Hey, come on now.

Don't cry in front of the gringos.

That's it. I'm quitting.

Show business is no place for a phony.

You can't quit now. The show's a hit,

and my son's never been prouder of me.

I'm sorry, Homero.

Nothing in the world can make me change my mind.

Hola, Pedro.

I am Alejandro Gonz�lez I��rritu,

Oscar-winning director of The Revenant.

That movie was so funny.

When that bear ate the boy from Titanic!

[laughs]

Yes, thank you. I wrote a new script

and you must do this film.

You would be the star of the most action-packed,

death-defying, uninsurable picture ever made.

What do you say?

I say...

let's make a bee movie!

� �

[cheering]

It's so nice of Pedro

to let us come along for the filming.

What's this movie about anyway?

Well, if my Spanish is correct, and it is,

it's an epic time travel adventure

about a humble bee man who gets hilariously hurt

during the most important moments in Mexican history.

Mark my words, this action-packed film

is going to make billions-

in Mexican pesos- at the box office.

And do you know why?

Because I'm willing to risk it all:

brain damage, paralysis,

life itself!

You said this was all pies in the face

and slipping on plantain peels.

Don't worry, Marge.

I'm sure something got lost in translation.

He said it in English.

�Que?

Because no matter how dangerous,

BumbleBee Man has always, and will always,

do his own stunts.

Uh, FYI,

I don't do my own stunts.

He does, that guy with the chili-dusted Popsicle.

Mmm, sweet.

[shrieks] Spicy!

What? You lied to your fans? To your country?

To your own director? The movie's off!

What if we hide his face with this green screen mask?

[Homer] Hmm?

The movie's back on!

ALEJANDRO: We are in Lake Texcoco,

thousands of years ago.

Here, BumbleBee Man will find a symbol from the gods

that will one day be emblazoned on the flag

and in the heart of every Mexican.

Cue snake and eagle!

-[screeching] -[shrieking]

No! Ow! Ooh!

[shouting]

ALEJANDRO: Cue more snakes and bigger eagles!

[Homer screaming]

Oh, get 'em off me!

Too many snakes!

[screaming]

My childhood dream has come true.

[Homer] There's a snake inside me!

-� Viva M�xico � -� Viva �

-� Viva Am�rica � -� Viva �

� Oh, suelo bendito de Dios �

-� Viva M�xico � -� Viva �

-� Viva Am�rica � -� Viva �

-� Mi sangre por ti dar� yo. � -[grunting]

-[lock clicking] -[gasps] Dad's home!

[moans]

[panting, laughing]

[Bart grunts]

-Good Lord. -[gasps] Dad!

What the hell? You dodged my hug.

Can't hug.

Spent all day getting my Aztec kicked.

Homie, you can't keep doing this.

You have to quit.

The pain pills? No, I need them.

Plus, they're so cheap here.

Why in God's name would you put yourself through this?

Uh, you're not just doing this to impress me, are you?

Yes. But there's also

the bromance element. So many threads.

-[Marge groans] -[Homer grunting]

[dramatic musical sting]

We interrupt Juan Life to Live

to bring you this English news bulletin.

Beloved actor and hometown hero BumbleBee Man

has been exposed for using a stunt double.

Late last night, our station received this photo

from an anonymous source.

Hey, that's the picture Bart took!

-[Homer grunting] -I... didn't... do it!

It wasn't him!

It was me.

It was? I thought I did it.

I guess we both did it?

I was lying a second ago. I also did it.

Why, you little...

[Homer grunting]

I'm sorry about Pedro,

but we couldn't stand by and see you get killed.

Or worse, become someone we have to sponge.

[shudders]

Aw, you care for me,

but don't want to care for me.

I feel the same about all of you.

[cameras clicking on TV]

I deny these vicious rumors.

And to clear my name,

I invite my fans to come see me perform

my movie's most dangerous stunt,

a comedic tumble down the steps of Teotihuac�n.

The pyramid of Teotihuac�n?

That's suicide.

And still on our list of sights to see.

To the pyramid of Tootytotai...

To the Mexican triangle!

[camera clicks]

Homero, you are the only one he will listen to.

You have to stop him.

Why are all these cameras set up?

Well, better to have coverage and not need it,

than to need it and not have it.

Hold on, Pedro! I'm a-comin'!

Huh.

Can I talk to the transpo department?

Pedro, stop. You can't do this.

I must. I was supposed to suffer for my fans,

to distract them from their daily troubles,

and I lied to them.

Now, my only path to redemption is pain.

Hilarious pain!

Your fans don't want to see you suffer for real.

They just wanna see a goofy guy in a bee costume

saying "ay yi yi" about stuff.

All I wanted was for my son to think I was a badass.

But you know what I learned

after taking all that brutal punishment?

I hate that kid and what he thinks doesn't matter.

[bones cracking]

Oop. [chuckles]

It does that now.

[loud crack]

Ay, Dios. Look at you.

Making this movie has broken the body

of my best non-Mexican friend in the world.

Can you ever forgive me?

On one condition.

Don't do this stupid stunt.

I won't. I love you, man.

I love you, too.

[both crying]

� �

What do you say we get out of here

and go eat a taco stand into submission?

[sniffles] Sounds like a plan, amigo.

[both shouting]

[shouting continues]

[crowd gasping]

-Homero! -Dad!

The UNESCO world heritage site!

[both shouting]

[shouting continues]

[Homer] Son of a-

[shouting stops]

[shouting resumes]

�Ay, mamacita chula!

[crowd laughing]

[laughs]

It's beautiful.

We will take out the gringo in post.

� �

Oh, so good. [chuckles]

Man, we sure are lucky we didn't get hurt in that fall.

Uh, I'm not so sure.

[Homer] Hmm.

Excuse me, amigo. Are we dead?

-Hmm. -Hmm.

Aw. Mm. Hmm.

No. You're in a coma.

But get comfy 'cause you're gonna be here for a while.

It might be nice to have a break.

And some cold cervezas.

Homero, my friend, you read my mind.

["Cien A�os" by Pedro Infante playing]

Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION

and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

and TOYOTA.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

� Se viste de abejorro, Pedro �

� Pa' salir frente a la c�mara �

� Su dolor da risa a miles �

� Y le gana mucha fama �

� Pero est� d�bil el viejo �

� Sus huesos suenan �

� Como matraca �

� Pedro contact� un doble �

� Con la cabeza de hierro �

� Y una panza bien grandota �

� Un calvo de nombre Homero �

� Al reunirse se volvieron �

� Buenos amigos �

� Y compa�eros. �

[whistles]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0