All language subtitles for The IT Crowd - 03x01 - From Hell

Subs by Chocolate.
Resynch by Travis for forom.com

I could have brought it in tomorrow,
you know.

You didn't have to
follow me home.

Jen, I know what it's
like lending money,

you do not want it
hanging over you,

it's better I get it back now before
it becomes this big thing between us.

You gave it to me
two hours ago,

and you literally haven't
left my side since.

I am never going to borrow money
off you again, you're a nightmare.

There, five pounds, God.

Thanking you.

Hi, Jen.

Oh, Gary, hi, how's it going?

Oh, good, yeah.
I've, er, finished that first wall.

Oh, great, that was quick.

Gary's doing a bit of
work around the house.

Hello.

Have we met?

Er, no, I, I don't think so.

You just look, oh...

I'd better crack on, eh?

OK, bye, Roy.

Yeah, all right, time to go.

Listen, I don't think...

Get out.

Oh, no, wait, Jen, wait!

It can wait till tomorrow!

Why didn't you tell
me this last night?

You wouldn't let me.

Builders From Hell?

I'm pretty sure it was
one of those programmes.

Gary's a Builder From Hell?

I think so.

Oh, so you're not sure?

Jen, I'm 99% sure.

Oh, what did he do?

The work was fine,
there was nothing wrong with the work,

but then they caught him...

He pissed in the sink.

Which sink?

All the sinks.

Yeah, he basically went on a
pee parade around the house.

Oh, God, I have to fire him.

I think you should, yeah,
I'm 95% sure it was him.

Y-You said you were 99% sure.

I'm 97% sure it was him.

I have to get home.
I have to get home.

Hey, man.

You OK?

Yeah.

You sure?

Yeah.

Wait, was it those
bullies again?

Yeah.

Oh, what do they do, exactly?

They make hurtful
comments, Roy.

You have to learn how to
stand up for yourself, man.

OK, let's try something.
Let's do some role play, OK?

Do you think that
would be a good idea?

It certainly helped me
learn how to buy sandwiches.

Ah, let's go for it, OK.
So I'll be those bullies on the bench.

What, all of them?

No, just one of them.

Which one?

I don't know them, Moss.

I'm a bully on the bench and you're
going to walk past me, but this time,

after I make a hurtful comment,
come back at me with something.

OK, get all up in my shit.

Right, OK. Oh, no, no, wait, wait,
wait, what do they usually say?

They mention my glasses.

OK, let's start with that.

Them glasses is shit, innit!

It's too real, Roy,
it's too real.

I won't do the voice,
I won't do the voice.

Thank you.

Nice glasses.

Oh, yeah,

er, maybe the reason
I have to wear glasses

is because I suffer
from short-sightedness

and I can't, I won't,
I can't put contact lenses in

cos I'm frightened
of touching my eyes.

There's no way that,
that these glasses...

Yeah.

Stupid hair.

I just think, Mr Reynholm,
you seem to lack a basic understanding

of exactly how much
trouble this company's in.

We have a financial crisis here and,
if you don't mind me saying,

your attitude seems to
me incredibly cavalier.

What?

I can't hear you. Can't you
see we're having an iPod party?

Mr Reynholm, please!

What?

Sorry, girls, you'd better go.

Girls, ship it!

Best accounting
team I've ever had.

What's your problem?

This is the problem -
the iPod parties are the problem,

the gold flakes in the drinking
water are the problem.

The obscene amount you
spend on erotic art.

Easy there, that's an original.

Do you know how much
trouble we're in?

Do you know what the
shareholders will do with us?

I'm sorry but you were
getting hysterical.

No, I wasn't!

You seemed hysterical.

No!

Anyway, don't worry about the
shareholders, I can handle them.

But you've missed every meeting with
them. Where were you last time?

You're going to hate me for this,
but I fancied the day off,

so, er, I took some of the
pension money out of the bank,

and I lost it on a horse!

Yes.

You were gambling with
our employees' pensions?

Gambling? No, no, no, no.

I was riding a horse and
it fell out of my pocket.

Oh, my God.

I'm not hysterical!

Hi, Gary.

Oh, hello.

I thought I'd work
from home today.

Sorry, bit out of breath.

Hope you don't mind.

No, not at all.

I'm sorry to interrupt you but you said
you had a problem with your laptop.

You don't mind if IT fiddle about
a bit while we speak, do you?

Well, actually I...

Yeah, no, good.
Er, I can't seem to get it open.

You want me to open it?

That's why you called me all the
way up here, to open your laptop?

I would be beholden to you.

No problem.

I do think the delicate
nature of our conversation...

Yeah, money, money, money.

That's the problem with you people,
it's always about money.

Roy, give me £20.

What?

Give me £20, I'll pay you back.

Yeah.

You know what I think of money?

That's what I think of money.
Ah, you've opened it.

Thanks, Roy.

You're welcome.

Mr Reynholm, you do know that
Japan have expressed concern?

What, the whole country?

No, not the whole...

Mr Yamamoto.

Oh, he's important, isn't he?

He's the major shareholder,
he's effectively your partner,

and he said, what he said,

"I do hope we don't have our own
Conrad Black at Reynholm Industries."

Conrad Black, the first rich person
to go to prison in 300 years.

You see it's serious.

What do you want from me?

I just want you to
stay out of trouble,

just do nothing until the
conference call tomorrow.

Let me get this right,

you want me to do
absolutely nothing?

Just stay out of trouble,
that's all I ask.

You want me to sit
on my arse all day?

I think I can handle that.

I don't think I've ever
looked in this drawer.

Wow, a gun!

Roy, I'd like to take you
to the changes I've made

to the video conference
system in the meeting room

but maybe I'm boring you.

I'm never going to
see that £20 again.

I can't believe you're not
interested in the sweet flip switch

I've installed in case
the first feed goes down.

£20 doesn't even register to
him as an amount of money.

He won't remember it.

Hello, IT,
have you tried turning it...?

Is this the guy?

I need to know,
I can't sit here all day staring at him.

It really looked like him,
Jen, I'm 80% sure it's him.

Are you winding me up?

'Why?'

You've gone down 15%.

It's still high.

I'm sitting here like an idiot
trying to think of things to do

and you've gone down about 15%.

Oh, Jen, Jen,
how can you be keeping an eye on him

while you're talking
to me as well?

Hi, Gary.

What?

Sorry, I thought you
were in the toilet,

I just wondered, er,
if you fancied a cup of tea.

Just made you one.

Oh, yeah, thanks.

So how's it all going?

Pretty good,
I've finished that other wall.

Great.

And that architrave
won't be a problem.

Yeah, and the eggshell's
come out really well.

Yeah, it's classy,
it's really good.

Thank you for the cup of tea.

'Dear Douglas, if you're reading
this it's because you've found

'my father's old
service revolver.'

Hell's horses.

'I did plan on using this gun to take
my own life if it ever came to it,

'but as you know,
in the end I jumped out of a window.

'I've passed it on to you in the
hope that if things ever get too bad

'you'll be able to
take the easy way out.

'Hopefully it won't come to it,
but if it does you must promise me

'that you'll shoot yourself
without a moment's hesitation.'

I promise, Father.

'Your affectionate father,
Mr Reynholm.'

I wonder if it's loaded?

No.

Ah...here we go.

You off somewhere?

Er, yeah, er...

So, er,
what's next on the agenda?

Look Jen,
I know what's going on.

You do?

And it's fine,
I understand, I really do.

Oh, so you understand
how I feel.

Yeah, but you are barking
up the wrong tree.

I mean,
I think you're a top bird and everything

but you're not really my type.

I mean I like tall,
beautiful girls.

I don't fancy you,
you big ugly builder.

I am trying to stop you having
a piddle party in my house.

What?

Builders From Hell.

Ring any bells?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Oh, I think you do.

Well, I don't.

You haven't been on Builders From Hell,
that's what you're saying?

No, I haven't.

Oh, really?

Yes, really.

Really?

Really.

Well...!

Let's forget about it,
shall we?

Forget all about it,
this conversation's beneath us.

Wow, I love what you've
done to that wall, Gary!

I haven't done it yet.

You haven't even done
it and I love it.

Ah, this is...
You and I should stay in touch,

I would like to stay in touch
with you because we've got a...

A rapport, haven't we?

We've clicked, we have,

we've clicked haven't we?
In a way.

In a...weird way that friends...
Friends usually click.

A big, ugly builder.

You, this is all
because of you.

Jen, I didn't bring
his weight into it.

You said you were 99% sure.

Oh, I don't think I
ever went that high.

I've always thought
it was about 60-40.

Now that I think about it, Jen,

I'm pretty sure that the guy
on the programme was black.

Well, at least I don't
have to worry about him

going on a toilet
tour of my house.

Unless he's so angry that
he does it out of spite.

What?

Well, if someone called me a big,
ugly builder

I'd be furious, and not just because
I'm actually an IT consultant.

Revenge, that would be
uppermost upon my mind,

I'm going to wee on everything.

Oh, God.

I'm going to taint her abode.

I'm going to spray my personal
potatoes throughout her premises.

Oh, God.

Nice glasses.

Not as nice as yo'
momma's glasses.

It's a little bit complimentary,
but we'll work on it.

I can't hang around the house,
he'll know I don't trust him.

But I can't leave
him on his own.

What am I going to do?

What am I going to do...Roy?

Jen, just relax, OK?

I've often found that the best
solution is the simplest.

Thanks again for
doing this, Roy.

No problem, Jen. It's brilliantly
easy to spy on people these days.

He won't see the cameras,
will he?

Oh, no, no.
They're pretty well hidden.

He's muttering a lot,
have you noticed?

'Ugly builder.'

Take that, lollipop man.

Wow, my grandfather's
old service revolver,

to think, of all the deserters
he shot in the head with this.

Are you ready?

Ready for what?

Japan.

Oh, is that meeting today?

Hell's bells. You go ahead,
I'll be right there, I've just...

What was that?

What was what?

That noise.

What noise?

The loud explosion.

Loud explosion?
What on earth are you talking about?

You didn't hear that just then?

What are you talking about?

You come in here
ranting about gunshots,

and service revolvers.
I've had enough,

get out! Go, go to the meeting,
I'll be right there.

Hello, does someone have a
problem with their laptop?

Now, you listen to me,
this is very important,

I have a vital meeting to attend and
I've just shot myself in the leg.

I want you to dial 999.

No, it's a new number.

01199...

Whatever the new number is,

get an ambulance
and ask it to wait

and I'll be there in two hours,

three hours tops.

You ready?

I was born...

Ready.

OK, Roy, we're on,

j'accuse, gotcha.

Ok, how do you record,
how do you record on this? Roy?

Roy! Roy! How do you record?

OK, we're on.

Mr. Yamamoto, hello.

He IS angry!

Well, lots to
think about there.

Thoughts, anyone? No.

We reconvene tomorrow,
thank you, everyone.

But what did it all mean?

Mr Reynholm, are you all right?

I'm fine, yes, yes,
I'm fine, yes.

Er, I'm going to go, I may not
come back, but I want to say this,

that accounts team,

I had every last one of them.

Just a little bit further, son.

Father, is it really you?

Is this really heaven?

Yes, yes, hurry up, come on.

I'm coming, father, I'm ready.

Whoa, there, was that Hitler?

Was what Hitler?

That looked like Hitler.

That wasn't Hitler,
that was a woman.

Really? Well,
it looked exactly like Hitler.

We're having a heaven party...

and that's a Hitlergram.

Right, well,
I don't think I'm quite ready yet.

Come on.

No, I'll see you later,
I've still got a lot of work to do.

I'll see you later, Douglas.

Not if I see you first.

Must call Mark Thatcher...

I'm alive,

Nolan, my accounting team,

and Roy, gentle Irish Roy.

Thank you for being by
my side while I awake.

No problem, sir.

We don't want you
going anywhere.

Isn't it lucky to see an
Irishman when you awake

from a near death experience?

I've heard that, even if it isn't,
I appreciate it, Roy,

and I count myself lucky
to have you as a friend.

He's exhausted, we should go.

I'll stay with him.

Make sure he's OK.

Got you,
you crafty Irish bastard.

I've got a gun!
I've got a ruddy gun!

I've got a flipping gun!

I've got a mother flipping gun!

Subs by Chocolate.
Resynch by Travis for forom.com