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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
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00:00:07,573 --> 00:00:11,219
♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪
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00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:14,890
♪ Guys like us We had it made ♪
4
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:18,159
♪ Those were the days ♪
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00:00:18,183 --> 00:00:22,163
♪ And you knew
Where you were then ♪
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00:00:22,187 --> 00:00:25,501
♪ Girls were girls
And men were men ♪
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00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:32,273
♪ Mister, we could use a man
Like Herbert Hoover again ♪
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00:00:32,297 --> 00:00:34,242
♪ Didn't need No welfare state ♪
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00:00:34,266 --> 00:00:38,413
♪ Everybody pulled His weight ♪
10
00:00:38,437 --> 00:00:42,751
♪ Gee, our old
LaSalle Ran great ♪
11
00:00:42,775 --> 00:00:48,579
♪ Those were the days ♪♪
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00:00:58,891 --> 00:01:00,936
Well, I got to say
it for you, Edith.
13
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You done it again.
14
00:01:02,528 --> 00:01:04,928
That there one
was a two-notcher.
15
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:09,377
Oh, thank you, Archie.
16
00:01:09,401 --> 00:01:11,847
Linda, would you like
another piece of pie?
17
00:01:11,871 --> 00:01:12,915
No, thanks, Aunt Edith.
18
00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:14,115
Save it for Gloria.
19
00:01:14,139 --> 00:01:15,517
She's the one that's
working overtime.
20
00:01:15,541 --> 00:01:18,219
Wait a minute. The
meathead's working overtime too.
21
00:01:18,243 --> 00:01:20,203
Look at him with
his knife and fork.
22
00:01:22,114 --> 00:01:23,892
Come on, will you?
I just like to eat.
23
00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:25,293
Well, so does a tapeworm,
24
00:01:25,317 --> 00:01:28,496
but we don't need one of
them in the house neither.
25
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,667
Are you sure, Linda?
Just a little piece?
26
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,835
It was delicious, Aunt Edith,
27
00:01:33,859 --> 00:01:35,336
but I've already
gained four pounds
28
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,705
since I've been here.
29
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:37,940
I have to watch my weight.
30
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,775
The airline is very
strict about that.
31
00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:41,009
That's right. You know,
32
00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:42,444
I've never seen
a fat stewardess.
33
00:01:42,468 --> 00:01:45,681
That's because you live
in America, Meathead.
34
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:48,672
The fat dames are flying
in them Polack planes.
35
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:52,688
Archie, that's a cheap joke,
36
00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:55,057
and for your information,
Polish State Airlines is rated
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00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:57,225
one of the finest airlines
in the world, all right?
38
00:01:57,249 --> 00:01:58,594
They have a
perfect safety record.
39
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:02,430
Good. I'll buy you a
ticket anyplace, one-way.
40
00:02:02,454 --> 00:02:04,132
Look, don't start with
me, Archie, all right?
41
00:02:04,156 --> 00:02:06,868
Mike, would you like
another piece of pie?
42
00:02:06,892 --> 00:02:08,269
Oh, no, thanks, Ma.
43
00:02:08,293 --> 00:02:10,472
It was a great dinner, but
I couldn't eat another bite.
44
00:02:10,496 --> 00:02:13,174
Wait a minute.
What was that I hear?
45
00:02:13,198 --> 00:02:15,110
He can't eat another bite?
46
00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,779
Hold it, world. One
minute of silence.
47
00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:20,082
What for?
48
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:22,417
Out of respect, Edith.
49
00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:25,286
The meathead's
stomach just died.
50
00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:27,422
Very funny, Arch.
51
00:02:27,446 --> 00:02:30,892
Yeah, well, I thought so.
52
00:02:37,322 --> 00:02:40,168
Archie, we have company.
53
00:02:40,192 --> 00:02:42,470
Linda ain't company.
She's family.
54
00:02:42,494 --> 00:02:44,139
Bring me another coffee, huh?
55
00:02:44,163 --> 00:02:45,540
Oh, let me do that, Aunt Edith.
56
00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:46,808
I need the practice.
57
00:02:46,832 --> 00:02:48,877
Oh, thank you, Linda.
58
00:02:48,901 --> 00:02:51,780
Okay, Uncle Archie,
you're on my plane.
59
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:54,249
Now, pretend that you're a
gentleman flying first-class.
60
00:02:54,273 --> 00:02:56,406
That's gonna take
a lot of pretending.
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00:02:59,278 --> 00:03:02,124
Go ahead, Linda.
62
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:03,959
Another cup of coffee, sir?
63
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,493
Yes, thank you very much.
64
00:03:05,517 --> 00:03:06,828
I think I will.
65
00:03:06,852 --> 00:03:08,130
Oh, jeez.
66
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:09,898
Will you clam up?
67
00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:11,900
I'm helping the kid
with her homework here.
68
00:03:11,924 --> 00:03:14,970
There you are, sir.
69
00:03:14,994 --> 00:03:17,372
And if there's anything
else you need, just ring.
70
00:03:17,396 --> 00:03:19,340
Yeah, well, thanks a lot.
71
00:03:19,364 --> 00:03:21,342
Now, that's some
style there, huh, Edith?
72
00:03:21,366 --> 00:03:24,379
Oh, yeah, that was
very good, Linda.
73
00:03:24,403 --> 00:03:27,149
Hey, Linda, why don't you
let me call up your father
74
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:29,851
and ask him if you can stay
with us a couple extra days?
75
00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:32,220
I'd love to, but I
really have to go.
76
00:03:32,244 --> 00:03:33,321
What's your hurry?
77
00:03:33,345 --> 00:03:34,723
Ain't you having
fun with us here?
78
00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:36,058
Oh, sure, I am,
79
00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:38,326
but I'm scheduled to fly
out of Baltimore tomorrow.
80
00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:39,828
Besides, think of poor Mike.
81
00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:41,196
Because of me,
82
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,198
he's been sleeping on that
couch for two weeks now.
83
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:45,167
That's all right, Linda,
really. I don't mind.
84
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:48,558
Yeah, down here on the
couch, he's getting some sleep.
85
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:58,902
Don't you sleep good upstairs?
86
00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:02,851
Forget it, huh?
87
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:07,089
Maybe their bed ain't
as comfortable as ours is.
88
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:08,790
I said, forget it.
89
00:04:08,814 --> 00:04:11,193
Because you don't
have that trouble.
90
00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:12,861
You drop right off.
91
00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:15,352
Will you stifle yourself?
92
00:04:17,823 --> 00:04:19,400
Anyway, Linda,
you tell your father
93
00:04:19,424 --> 00:04:21,402
that whenever you're up
in this neck of the woods,
94
00:04:21,426 --> 00:04:23,138
you're always welcome
to stay here with us.
95
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:25,107
Thanks, Uncle Archie.
96
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:27,275
I just might do that.
97
00:04:27,299 --> 00:04:29,077
Yeah, and by the
way, you tell your father
98
00:04:29,101 --> 00:04:30,879
he ought to come
up for a visit too.
99
00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:33,215
You know, when we was
kids, we was always together.
100
00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:36,017
He always was hanging around
me, wanted to be just like me.
101
00:04:36,041 --> 00:04:37,886
Now I hardly never
see him anymore.
102
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:40,521
Just remind him, Baltimore
ain't that far from New York.
103
00:04:40,545 --> 00:04:43,424
Then how come
we don't visit there?
104
00:04:43,448 --> 00:04:47,217
New York ain't that far
from Baltimore either.
105
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:49,998
That's different, Edith.
106
00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:53,268
People from New York
don't go to Baltimore.
107
00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:55,403
Besides, he's the
youngest brother.
108
00:04:55,427 --> 00:04:56,404
It's only right
109
00:04:56,428 --> 00:04:57,973
that he come and visit me.
110
00:04:57,997 --> 00:05:00,942
Well, Linda, as long as
they ain't serving no cigars
111
00:05:00,966 --> 00:05:02,244
on your airplane here,
112
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:04,612
I think I'll just jump
down to the corner store
113
00:05:04,636 --> 00:05:06,214
and pick myself up a few.
114
00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:08,383
I'll be back in three or
four shakes, there, Edith.
115
00:05:08,407 --> 00:05:09,517
All right, Archie.
116
00:05:09,541 --> 00:05:10,819
Ooh, I better get going.
117
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:11,820
It's five to 7.
118
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:13,388
Are you going out, Linda?
119
00:05:13,412 --> 00:05:14,856
Yeah, I'm going dancing.
120
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:15,857
Come on, Ma,
121
00:05:15,881 --> 00:05:17,525
I'll help you clear the table.
122
00:05:17,549 --> 00:05:19,227
Thanks, Mike.
123
00:05:19,251 --> 00:05:20,695
Ain't it strange?
124
00:05:20,719 --> 00:05:21,696
What?
125
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:25,000
Well, Archie looks
just like his brother,
126
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:28,170
but Linda don't look
like either one of them.
127
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:32,373
Of course, I never looked
like my mother or my father.
128
00:05:32,397 --> 00:05:35,510
I look like my brother, Harry,
129
00:05:35,534 --> 00:05:38,346
but Harry didn't look like me.
130
00:05:38,370 --> 00:05:40,971
He looked like my
sister, Gertrude.
131
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,623
Wait a second.
132
00:05:48,647 --> 00:05:50,292
If you looked like Harry,
133
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:52,327
and Harry looked like Gertrude,
134
00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:55,297
then the three of
you kids looked alike.
135
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:57,454
Only when we was together.
136
00:05:59,558 --> 00:06:01,703
Hi.
137
00:06:01,727 --> 00:06:02,704
Hi, honey.
138
00:06:02,728 --> 00:06:03,872
The career woman is home.
139
00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:05,506
How are you?
140
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:07,530
Would you like a
piece of pie, Gloria?
141
00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,567
Maybe later.
142
00:06:13,472 --> 00:06:15,917
I'll get it.
143
00:06:15,941 --> 00:06:17,341
You're busy.
144
00:06:20,212 --> 00:06:21,189
Oh, hi, Mrs. Bunker.
145
00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:22,623
Oh, hi, Lionel. Come in.
146
00:06:22,647 --> 00:06:24,025
Hey, Lionel. How are you?
147
00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:26,728
My, don't you look nice?
148
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:28,363
Are you going somewheres?
149
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:29,931
Yep, going dancing.
150
00:06:29,955 --> 00:06:31,499
Ain't that a coincidence.
151
00:06:31,523 --> 00:06:34,043
Linda's going dancing too.
152
00:06:35,761 --> 00:06:36,872
Hi, Linda.
153
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,673
Hi, Gloria. Hi, Lionel.
Did I keep you waiting?
154
00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:39,674
No, just got here.
155
00:06:39,698 --> 00:06:40,675
Let me help you.
156
00:06:40,699 --> 00:06:41,765
Oh...
157
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:47,670
Oh...
158
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:53,443
Oh!
159
00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:57,725
Anything wrong, Ma?
160
00:06:57,749 --> 00:07:00,695
No, but for some reason,
161
00:07:00,719 --> 00:07:04,254
your father just
popped into my mind.
162
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,769
Oh, Linda, I've got
something for you.
163
00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:10,405
Oh, I bet I know what it is.
164
00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:11,839
Oh, I knew it!
165
00:07:11,863 --> 00:07:12,908
Look, everybody.
166
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,242
Oh, that's a nice picture.
167
00:07:14,266 --> 00:07:15,710
That's really nice, yeah.
168
00:07:15,734 --> 00:07:17,078
What do you think, Aunt Edith?
169
00:07:17,102 --> 00:07:20,015
Oh, it's very nice!
170
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:24,386
Lionel's got his arm
around you, don't he?
171
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:25,720
When was this taken?
172
00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:27,855
At the party we went
to last week at Trudy's,
173
00:07:27,879 --> 00:07:28,990
remember?
174
00:07:29,014 --> 00:07:30,292
That's where Linda met Lionel.
175
00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:31,927
Oh.
176
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,795
Well, excuse us, everybody.
177
00:07:33,819 --> 00:07:35,397
We ought to be
going. Come on, Linda.
178
00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:36,531
Aunt Edith, would you please
179
00:07:36,555 --> 00:07:38,133
put the picture in
the bedroom for me?
180
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:42,659
I'll put it in your suitcase
so you won't forget it.
181
00:07:44,629 --> 00:07:45,807
Don't hide it. I like it.
182
00:07:45,831 --> 00:07:47,409
Just put it on top
of the dresser.
183
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:48,576
Bye-bye, everybody.
184
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:49,600
Bye. Have fun.
185
00:07:53,939 --> 00:07:54,916
I didn't know
186
00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:57,618
Linda and Lionel was dating.
187
00:07:57,642 --> 00:07:59,020
Well, they're not
really dating, Ma.
188
00:07:59,044 --> 00:08:01,456
They just like to
go dancing together.
189
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,924
Oh, I see.
190
00:08:02,948 --> 00:08:04,926
What's the matter, Ma?
191
00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:08,363
Oh, nothing. It's
just so strange.
192
00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:10,731
I guess I'm not used to it.
193
00:08:10,755 --> 00:08:14,869
You see, in my old neighborhood
where I was brought up,
194
00:08:14,893 --> 00:08:16,804
we all had the same skin,
195
00:08:16,828 --> 00:08:19,829
except some was clear
and some had bumps.
196
00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:25,613
Ma, was your
father strict with you?
197
00:08:25,637 --> 00:08:27,349
I mean, about who
you went out with?
198
00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:29,084
Oh, yeah.
199
00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:33,955
The boy had to be kind and
thoughtful and a gentleman.
200
00:08:33,979 --> 00:08:35,939
How did Archie
ever pass that test?
201
00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:41,851
Well, Daddy died a
year before I met Archie.
202
00:08:42,621 --> 00:08:43,831
Ma, when you say
203
00:08:43,855 --> 00:08:46,868
"Kind and thoughtful
and a gentleman,"
204
00:08:46,892 --> 00:08:48,225
you're describing Lionel.
205
00:08:52,931 --> 00:08:55,377
I am, ain't I?
206
00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,612
Don't worry, Ma.
207
00:08:57,636 --> 00:08:59,614
Daddy will be asleep
when Linda comes home,
208
00:08:59,638 --> 00:09:02,105
and she's leaving
tomorrow, so he'll never know.
209
00:09:03,909 --> 00:09:05,487
I hope so.
210
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:07,788
Well, I... I better
get the dishes done.
211
00:09:07,812 --> 00:09:09,891
Oh, now, Ma, you sit
right there and relax.
212
00:09:09,915 --> 00:09:11,459
Michael's gonna do the dishes.
213
00:09:11,483 --> 00:09:12,727
What?
214
00:09:12,751 --> 00:09:13,728
I'm only kidding, Michael.
215
00:09:13,752 --> 00:09:14,795
I'll help you.
216
00:09:14,819 --> 00:09:16,197
All right, well, we'll
do them together.
217
00:09:16,221 --> 00:09:18,741
Yeah, you wash and I'll watch.
218
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:29,411
Hello?
219
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,913
Oh, hello, Fred.
220
00:09:31,937 --> 00:09:33,548
Oh, fine.
221
00:09:33,572 --> 00:09:36,406
How is everybody in Baltimore?
222
00:09:38,977 --> 00:09:42,590
No, no, Archie is out.
223
00:09:42,614 --> 00:09:44,492
Wait a minute. I
think I hear him.
224
00:09:44,516 --> 00:09:46,594
Wait a minute, yeah...
225
00:09:46,618 --> 00:09:48,663
Archie, it's your brother.
226
00:09:48,687 --> 00:09:49,797
Huh?
227
00:09:49,821 --> 00:09:50,865
Who's that? Freddy?
228
00:09:50,889 --> 00:09:51,866
Yeah.
229
00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:53,000
Oh, wait a minute.
230
00:09:53,024 --> 00:09:54,536
Give me the
phone. Let me talk...
231
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:55,703
Hiya, Freddy there.
232
00:09:55,727 --> 00:09:57,805
Archie here.
233
00:09:57,829 --> 00:09:59,407
How's the boy? Yeah.
234
00:09:59,431 --> 00:10:01,409
Oh, no, no, wait a minute,
don't tell me nothing.
235
00:10:01,433 --> 00:10:02,477
I got one for you.
236
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:03,911
Listen to this one.
237
00:10:03,935 --> 00:10:08,550
Why did the Irish farmer
spray booze on his vegetables?
238
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:09,784
You give up?
239
00:10:09,808 --> 00:10:11,768
He wanted to raise
stewed tomatoes.
240
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,290
Yeah, I knew you'd love it.
241
00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:16,491
Huh? Linda? Yeah,
yeah, she's fine.
242
00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:18,293
Wait a minute. I'll
put her on the line.
243
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:20,027
She ain't here, Archie.
244
00:10:20,051 --> 00:10:21,196
Oh, where is she?
245
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:22,763
She went out.
246
00:10:22,787 --> 00:10:25,433
Ah, Freddy, she
went out someplace.
247
00:10:25,457 --> 00:10:26,701
What are you talking about?
248
00:10:26,725 --> 00:10:27,702
I'm looking after her.
249
00:10:27,726 --> 00:10:29,737
I'm her Uncle Archie here.
250
00:10:29,761 --> 00:10:31,139
Yeah, she's having
a wonderful time...
251
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,708
Edith, come here.
252
00:10:33,732 --> 00:10:35,110
Tell Freddy she's
having a wonderful time.
253
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,712
She's having a wonderful time.
254
00:10:37,736 --> 00:10:39,747
Did you hear that, Fred?
255
00:10:39,771 --> 00:10:41,216
Tell her what?
256
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:44,119
Oh, you're going to
meet her at the plane
257
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,120
in Baltimore.
258
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,655
Yeah, sure, fine, Freddy.
259
00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:49,624
Yeah, nice talking to you.
260
00:10:49,648 --> 00:10:52,059
He's a good father, that guy.
261
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:53,394
A real good one.
262
00:10:53,418 --> 00:10:54,462
Worrying about his kid
263
00:10:54,486 --> 00:10:55,830
the way a good father should.
264
00:10:55,854 --> 00:10:56,831
Where is she, anyhow?
265
00:10:56,855 --> 00:10:59,066
Out.
266
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:01,068
Well, it's nice to know
she had a little fun
267
00:11:01,092 --> 00:11:03,204
while she was
staying with us here,
268
00:11:03,228 --> 00:11:05,140
and it's also nice to have
a cute-looking relation
269
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,907
around the house for a change,
270
00:11:06,931 --> 00:11:07,942
not like them lulus
271
00:11:07,966 --> 00:11:10,178
on your side of the family.
272
00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:12,180
Yeah, Archie.
273
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:13,948
Do you mind if I sit down?
274
00:11:13,972 --> 00:11:16,072
No, I don't mind, Archie.
275
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,354
Well, would you mind
getting out of my way?
276
00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:21,156
Sure.
277
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,312
Get out of here!
278
00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:27,328
Sheez.
279
00:11:27,352 --> 00:11:30,353
It's like you were hit
with a brick or something.
280
00:11:40,432 --> 00:11:42,544
What are you gawking at?
281
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:44,345
Go out and get me a can of beer.
282
00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:46,447
Right away.
283
00:11:46,471 --> 00:11:48,049
I can use some
matches here too, Edith.
284
00:11:48,073 --> 00:11:50,585
They're right there
on the table, Archie.
285
00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:51,641
No!
286
00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:55,878
What do you mean,
"No"? Here they are.
287
00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:03,998
Here you are, Arch...
288
00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:06,342
Here you are, Archie!
289
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:14,642
What is wrong with you?
290
00:12:14,666 --> 00:12:16,811
I thought you'd
like it on this side
291
00:12:16,835 --> 00:12:19,146
for a change.
292
00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:21,583
Well, is it going to
taste better on this side?
293
00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:25,253
I take my beer always
on this side here.
294
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:28,189
Jeez, I don't know what's
coming over you, Edith.
295
00:12:28,213 --> 00:12:30,293
Sometimes I think
you're coming unwrapped.
296
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:37,365
Is that so, Archie?
297
00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:39,869
Ain't that interesting!
298
00:13:00,545 --> 00:13:02,390
What is ailing you, anyhow?
299
00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:04,681
You ain't going through
that change thing again?
300
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:13,968
Because if it happens again,
301
00:13:13,992 --> 00:13:16,032
you're going to the
hospital this time.
302
00:13:19,564 --> 00:13:22,231
To hell with them
"groinecologists."
303
00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:09,212
What is this?
304
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,250
It's a picture of some people.
305
00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:20,156
Tell me who the people are.
306
00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:23,738
Linda and Lionel.
307
00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:27,397
Now, what are Linda and
Lionel doing in the picture?
308
00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:30,578
They're sitting together...
309
00:14:30,602 --> 00:14:31,579
Together on a couch!
310
00:14:31,603 --> 00:14:32,869
I know that! Stifle yourself!
311
00:14:42,814 --> 00:14:44,925
They're sitting
together on a couch!
312
00:14:44,949 --> 00:14:46,794
Mike, Gloria, come quick!
313
00:14:46,818 --> 00:14:48,295
Oh, this is the kind of fun
314
00:14:48,319 --> 00:14:49,831
she's having in our house, huh?
315
00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:50,865
What's wrong?
316
00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:52,166
What's all the screaming about?
317
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:53,300
What's going on?
318
00:14:53,324 --> 00:14:57,705
This... is going on.
319
00:14:57,729 --> 00:15:01,063
And this is going on!
320
00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:09,450
Jefferson, is that you?
321
00:15:09,474 --> 00:15:11,485
Listen, this is
Archie Bunker here,
322
00:15:11,509 --> 00:15:13,421
and I got to talk
to you right away.
323
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:15,622
No, no, no, I don't want
to hear nothing from you.
324
00:15:15,646 --> 00:15:17,624
I got a lot of things
to say to you.
325
00:15:17,648 --> 00:15:18,993
You get right over here!
326
00:15:19,017 --> 00:15:20,461
Listen, Jefferson,
it's about Lionel,
327
00:15:20,485 --> 00:15:21,795
and it's important.
328
00:15:21,819 --> 00:15:24,298
You better haul it over
here "toute-dee-suite"!
329
00:15:24,322 --> 00:15:26,200
Yeah!
330
00:15:26,224 --> 00:15:28,202
Arch, why do you have
to fight with him tonight?
331
00:15:28,226 --> 00:15:29,437
We got to get some sleep.
332
00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:30,838
Nobody's going to
sleep in this house
333
00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:32,239
till we get this
thing cleared up.
334
00:15:32,263 --> 00:15:33,407
Daddy!
335
00:15:33,431 --> 00:15:34,808
For the millionth time,
there's nothing wrong
336
00:15:34,832 --> 00:15:36,210
with Linda and Lionel
going out together.
337
00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:37,478
Nothing wrong?
338
00:15:37,502 --> 00:15:39,113
Try and make her
father believe that.
339
00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:40,514
What the hell am
I talking about?
340
00:15:40,538 --> 00:15:42,049
Try and make me believe it!
341
00:15:42,073 --> 00:15:45,652
Oh, come on, Daddy, they
were only going dancing.
342
00:15:45,676 --> 00:15:46,988
Only dancing?
343
00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:49,056
Wiggling and jiggling
up together like that?
344
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,624
No, Archie.
345
00:15:50,648 --> 00:15:53,961
Archie, they don't
dance like that no more.
346
00:15:53,985 --> 00:15:56,063
Sometimes they're so far apart
347
00:15:56,087 --> 00:15:58,232
they don't look
like they're together.
348
00:15:58,256 --> 00:15:59,766
Will you stifle yourself?
349
00:15:59,790 --> 00:16:02,303
I'm telling you that whites
should only dance with whites.
350
00:16:02,327 --> 00:16:03,971
You don't believe me?
Look at the movies.
351
00:16:03,995 --> 00:16:05,772
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
352
00:16:05,796 --> 00:16:07,208
Gene Kelly and Rita Hayworth.
353
00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:10,633
Shirley Temple
and Bill Robinson.
354
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,119
That was before Shirley
was old enough to know
355
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,509
she was doing something wrong.
356
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:26,427
I guess that's when she started
dancing with George Murphy.
357
00:16:26,451 --> 00:16:29,497
All right, all I'm saying is
358
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:30,964
if God had intended
359
00:16:30,988 --> 00:16:32,599
white people to dance
with colored people...
360
00:16:32,623 --> 00:16:34,463
He'd have given us rhythm too.
361
00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,309
Get away from me, you!
362
00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:43,844
Daddy, the only
hope for this world
363
00:16:43,868 --> 00:16:45,546
is for people to come together.
364
00:16:45,570 --> 00:16:46,747
Well, let them come together
365
00:16:46,771 --> 00:16:48,416
in some other family
up in the Bronx!
366
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,950
Oh, come on, Archie,
for Pete's sake.
367
00:16:49,974 --> 00:16:51,485
They're only dancing together.
368
00:16:51,509 --> 00:16:53,487
Even if they were
making it, so what?
369
00:16:53,511 --> 00:16:55,189
What are you
saying? "Making it!"
370
00:16:55,213 --> 00:16:57,191
Don't you say a word
like that in this house.
371
00:16:57,215 --> 00:16:58,192
What?
372
00:16:58,216 --> 00:17:00,161
"Making it!" Shh!
373
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,762
Take a walk, will you?
374
00:17:01,786 --> 00:17:03,964
Fine. It's obvious we're never
gonna get through to you.
375
00:17:03,988 --> 00:17:04,988
Come on, Gloria.
376
00:17:06,023 --> 00:17:07,834
That must be Mr. Jefferson.
377
00:17:07,858 --> 00:17:08,835
I'll get that door.
378
00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:10,104
Get away from here.
379
00:17:10,128 --> 00:17:12,239
We'll go out the
back, all right? All right.
380
00:17:12,263 --> 00:17:14,564
You! Sit down in your chair.
381
00:17:17,635 --> 00:17:19,102
Keep your yap shut.
382
00:17:27,378 --> 00:17:30,491
I didn't order you on the
phone. I ordered your brother.
383
00:17:30,515 --> 00:17:33,249
Well, what you
see is what you get.
384
00:17:34,819 --> 00:17:37,386
Well, I got something
here for you to see.
385
00:17:38,889 --> 00:17:42,503
I want to know what your
family is going to do about him.
386
00:17:42,527 --> 00:17:43,804
Well, I want to know
387
00:17:43,828 --> 00:17:46,540
what your family is
going to do about her!
388
00:17:46,564 --> 00:17:48,142
You ain't even the
head of your family.
389
00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:49,876
Why didn't Lionel's
father come over here?
390
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:51,745
You don't want to
know the answer to that.
391
00:17:51,769 --> 00:17:52,779
Yes, I do.
392
00:17:52,803 --> 00:17:54,181
All right, he said
393
00:17:54,205 --> 00:17:56,016
he ain't never stepped
into a honky's household
394
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,360
and he ain't about to start
at the bottom of the heap.
395
00:18:06,984 --> 00:18:09,730
Jefferson, I don't like that!
396
00:18:09,754 --> 00:18:12,188
He said you wouldn't like it.
397
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:16,337
What are you going to do
about that nephew of yours?
398
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:17,538
Never mind.
399
00:18:17,562 --> 00:18:19,140
You tell your niece
to stop chasing Lionel.
400
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,741
Lionel's the one doing
the chasing around here,
401
00:18:20,765 --> 00:18:22,009
and he's got to stop it.
402
00:18:22,033 --> 00:18:23,477
You're damn right
it's got to stop.
403
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:25,479
We don't want Lionel
mixed up with no white girl.
404
00:18:25,503 --> 00:18:26,580
You got some nerve...
405
00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:28,982
Hey, what's all
the yelling about?
406
00:18:29,006 --> 00:18:30,117
Hey, hey, hey!
407
00:18:30,141 --> 00:18:31,519
Uncle Henry, what
are you doing here?
408
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:33,120
Lionel, you got to
come home this minute.
409
00:18:33,144 --> 00:18:35,122
Where did you get that
picture? Your father found it.
410
00:18:35,146 --> 00:18:36,323
I don't care who found it...
411
00:18:36,347 --> 00:18:37,724
All right, pull
the plug on that.
412
00:18:37,748 --> 00:18:39,926
I want to see Lionel right
now out in the kitchen.
413
00:18:39,950 --> 00:18:42,029
Lionel, you're
coming home with me.
414
00:18:42,053 --> 00:18:43,430
Hold it, Jefferson.
This is my house.
415
00:18:43,454 --> 00:18:45,032
I want to see him
in that kitchen.
416
00:18:45,056 --> 00:18:46,700
He's my nephew
and he ain't gonna go.
417
00:18:46,724 --> 00:18:49,170
Wait a minute.
All right, all right!
418
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:50,771
Be cool, Uncle
Henry. I'll be right back.
419
00:18:50,795 --> 00:18:51,772
Let's go, Mr. Bunker.
420
00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:52,939
Yeah, let's go.
421
00:18:52,963 --> 00:18:54,141
Linda, when I'm
finished out there,
422
00:18:54,165 --> 00:18:56,143
I got a few things
to say to you here.
423
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:59,402
And you, Jefferson,
ain't invited.
424
00:19:04,775 --> 00:19:06,141
Lionel, sit down.
425
00:19:11,148 --> 00:19:13,468
I'm very disappointed
in you, Lionel.
426
00:19:16,821 --> 00:19:19,381
And I thought you was
one of the good ones.
427
00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:24,938
But I've been wrong.
428
00:19:24,962 --> 00:19:26,674
I thought I was your friend.
429
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,475
I mean, I have you
into my house here,
430
00:19:28,499 --> 00:19:29,876
and I mean through
the front door
431
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,767
as well as the back.
432
00:19:35,072 --> 00:19:36,517
You sit here at my table,
433
00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:39,687
you break bread
with me, all of that,
434
00:19:39,711 --> 00:19:41,888
and then you go and
you do a thing like this?
435
00:19:41,912 --> 00:19:43,824
Thank you very much, Lionel.
436
00:19:43,848 --> 00:19:45,726
Are you talking about
me taking out Linda?
437
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:47,127
Yes!
438
00:19:47,151 --> 00:19:51,699
Oh, you don't have to
thank me for that, Mr. Bunker.
439
00:19:51,723 --> 00:19:53,467
I'd do it again, but
she's leaving tomorrow.
440
00:19:53,491 --> 00:19:57,605
Lionel, let's cut the
funnies out, huh?
441
00:19:57,629 --> 00:19:59,273
This is very serious.
442
00:19:59,297 --> 00:20:01,408
You know what I'm saying to you.
443
00:20:01,432 --> 00:20:03,110
I'm saying
444
00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:05,646
that youse guys ought
to stick with yourselves.
445
00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:07,670
You mean guys ought
to stay with guys?
446
00:20:12,843 --> 00:20:15,222
You know what I'm
talking about, Lionel.
447
00:20:15,246 --> 00:20:17,891
I'm saying that whites
ought to stay with whites
448
00:20:17,915 --> 00:20:21,216
and coloreds ought
to stay with coloreds.
449
00:20:28,793 --> 00:20:30,203
Look, Mr. Bunker,
450
00:20:30,227 --> 00:20:31,805
it's been a year and a half now
451
00:20:31,829 --> 00:20:33,374
since we moved into
this neighborhood.
452
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,475
I was just 19 then,
453
00:20:34,499 --> 00:20:36,677
and I got a big kick
out of you and me
454
00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:38,245
for a long time,
455
00:20:38,269 --> 00:20:40,113
but I'm pushing 21
now, and I'm not getting
456
00:20:40,137 --> 00:20:41,782
that big a kick
out of it anymore.
457
00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:43,183
Put a lid on all of that.
458
00:20:43,207 --> 00:20:44,951
No, no, wait, I'm not finished.
459
00:20:44,975 --> 00:20:49,189
Now, we've been friends,
and we can go on being friends,
460
00:20:49,213 --> 00:20:51,258
but when it comes
to black and white
461
00:20:51,282 --> 00:20:52,693
and all the other
wonderful thoughts
462
00:20:52,717 --> 00:20:55,162
you have in between,
463
00:20:55,186 --> 00:20:56,519
put a lid on that, Archie.
464
00:20:59,457 --> 00:21:02,369
Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute, Lionel.
465
00:21:02,393 --> 00:21:03,537
What went on in there?
466
00:21:03,561 --> 00:21:04,738
What did he say to you?
467
00:21:04,762 --> 00:21:07,040
I got more to say to you there.
468
00:21:07,064 --> 00:21:09,777
I ain't got nothing more
to say to you except this:
469
00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:11,011
It's your fault
470
00:21:11,035 --> 00:21:12,379
for raising that
boy so submissive.
471
00:21:12,403 --> 00:21:15,081
Don't you call
him "boy," Bunker!
472
00:21:15,105 --> 00:21:17,951
I don't mean "boy" boy.
473
00:21:17,975 --> 00:21:19,286
Wait a minute!
474
00:21:19,310 --> 00:21:21,555
What's everybody
getting so upset about?
475
00:21:21,579 --> 00:21:23,290
I mean, so Lionel
and I went dancing.
476
00:21:23,314 --> 00:21:24,591
It's no big deal.
477
00:21:24,615 --> 00:21:26,059
No big deal?
478
00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:28,061
What would your father
say if he heard about this?
479
00:21:28,085 --> 00:21:29,697
Well, Dad wouldn't mind.
480
00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:30,931
What a terrible thing to say
481
00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:32,265
about your father
and my brother!
482
00:21:32,289 --> 00:21:33,767
It's true.
483
00:21:33,791 --> 00:21:34,768
It ain't true!
484
00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:36,537
I go out with anybody I want to.
485
00:21:36,561 --> 00:21:37,538
Don't tell me that.
486
00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:39,139
You don't go out
with no colored guys
487
00:21:39,163 --> 00:21:41,174
when you live in
your father's house.
488
00:21:41,198 --> 00:21:43,210
You don't know anything
about my father's house.
489
00:21:43,234 --> 00:21:44,945
You haven't seen
Daddy for years.
490
00:21:44,969 --> 00:21:50,584
Uncle Archie, four kids
have grown up in that house,
491
00:21:50,608 --> 00:21:52,018
and he's changed.
492
00:21:52,042 --> 00:21:53,454
He ain't changed!
493
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:56,056
Since he was 8 years old, he
always wanted to be like me,
494
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,058
and he was like me,
and he's still like me!
495
00:21:58,082 --> 00:21:59,526
He's not like you!
496
00:21:59,550 --> 00:22:02,596
He doesn't care what
color a person's skin is,
497
00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:05,265
and he's not 8
years old anymore.
498
00:22:05,289 --> 00:22:07,133
Your father sounds like
499
00:22:07,157 --> 00:22:08,369
a great guy, Linda.
500
00:22:08,393 --> 00:22:11,304
He ain't so great to me!
501
00:22:11,328 --> 00:22:14,408
Now, listen, you got
a lot to learn, boy.
502
00:22:14,432 --> 00:22:15,831
Boy, boy, boy, boy.
503
00:22:18,569 --> 00:22:20,770
I don't mean "boy" boy.
504
00:22:22,907 --> 00:22:24,585
Now, listen, Lionel,
this is important.
505
00:22:24,609 --> 00:22:27,053
If they want to mix
up the races, let them.
506
00:22:27,077 --> 00:22:29,122
But we're going
to keep ours pure.
507
00:22:29,146 --> 00:22:31,626
No more of that cream
into the coffee, right?
508
00:22:33,618 --> 00:22:35,496
Why don't you tell
that to Mr. Bunker?
509
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,097
You two got a lot
in common anyway.
510
00:22:37,121 --> 00:22:38,098
Good night!
511
00:22:38,122 --> 00:22:39,099
Hey, Lionel,
512
00:22:39,123 --> 00:22:40,501
you better listen
to your uncle here.
513
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:41,902
It's the first time I knew him
514
00:22:41,926 --> 00:22:43,136
that he made any sense.
515
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:47,007
Bunker, I got one
thing to say to you.
516
00:22:47,031 --> 00:22:49,543
If you don't learn to
keep your mouth shut,
517
00:22:49,567 --> 00:22:52,334
we ain't never gonna
get rid of the pollution.
518
00:22:54,806 --> 00:22:56,750
I got something to say to you,
519
00:22:56,774 --> 00:22:58,552
and you better stick
around to hear it too.
520
00:22:58,576 --> 00:22:59,853
You ain't getting away
521
00:22:59,877 --> 00:23:02,322
before you hear the last
word I got to say to you.
522
00:23:02,346 --> 00:23:03,386
Get out of my house!
523
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:08,629
Where is that chick?
524
00:23:08,653 --> 00:23:10,631
Linda, get down here.
I want to talk to you.
525
00:23:10,655 --> 00:23:12,433
I can't let that kid
out of my sight.
526
00:23:12,457 --> 00:23:14,735
Archie, you don't
have to worry about her.
527
00:23:14,759 --> 00:23:16,870
She knows where she's at.
528
00:23:21,666 --> 00:23:24,144
Well, where have you been?
529
00:23:24,168 --> 00:23:26,613
I was saying good
night to Lionel.
530
00:23:26,637 --> 00:23:28,014
Well, now you got a few things
531
00:23:28,038 --> 00:23:29,450
to say to me, young lady.
532
00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:33,854
All I have to say to
you, Uncle Archie, is...
533
00:23:33,878 --> 00:23:35,038
good night.
534
00:23:36,681 --> 00:23:38,358
Oh, no, that ain't all.
535
00:23:38,382 --> 00:23:39,660
That ain't all.
536
00:23:39,684 --> 00:23:41,862
We're gonna have a
little talk, you and me.
537
00:23:41,886 --> 00:23:44,620
Good night, Uncle Archie.
538
00:24:11,482 --> 00:24:12,459
Archie...
539
00:24:12,483 --> 00:24:14,843
Don't say nothing to me!
540
00:24:17,354 --> 00:24:20,901
You ain't got no control
541
00:24:20,925 --> 00:24:23,325
over the goings-on
in this house.
542
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,512
"And I want to thank you
543
00:24:31,536 --> 00:24:35,181
"for taking such good
care of my little girl.
544
00:24:35,205 --> 00:24:37,651
Your brother, Fred."
545
00:24:37,675 --> 00:24:39,119
Ain't that nice?
546
00:24:39,143 --> 00:24:41,388
Your brother sounds
like a nice guy, Arch.
547
00:24:41,412 --> 00:24:42,756
He's one member of your family
548
00:24:42,780 --> 00:24:43,879
I'd like to meet.
549
00:24:49,319 --> 00:24:51,364
I'd like you to meet him too.
550
00:24:51,388 --> 00:24:53,628
I'd like you to
move in with him.
551
00:25:12,242 --> 00:25:14,087
All in the Family
was recorded on tape
552
00:25:14,111 --> 00:25:16,211
before a live audience.
38934
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