All language subtitles for W03E01 Bride of Re-Animator_track3_[eng]

[Wind whistling,
insects chirping]

[Music sting]

[Bird cawing]

[Wood scraping]

[Harmonica playing]

-If you climb up
over that ridge,

which is part of
the Appalachian Trail,

and you hike directly west,

you can be at
the Golden Gate Bridge

in about 119 days
and gaze at the beautiful vista

of the Pacific Ocean.

[Harmonica plays]

Or you can hike up
over that ridge

and get an Uber
to Newark Airport

and be there this afternoon.

[Harmonica plays]

Or you can hike up
over that ridge,

and there's a dive bar

where they don't believe
in California.

They're not sure it exists.

That's the great thing
about America.

[Harmonica playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, everybody,
have you heard the news? ♪

♪ Joe Bob is back in town ♪

♪ He's over at the drive-in,
hanging around ♪

♪ Watching crazy movies,
so come on down ♪

♪ To Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Blood, beasties,
boobies, and more ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's a spooky good time
with monsters and ghosts ♪

♪ Crazy, kooky fun with
the world's greatest host ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be legendary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be very scary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪♪

[Static crackling]

♪♪

-You know, one thing you notice
when you get stranded

in the "Evil Dead" spam cabin
for six months --

I don't mean to complain, but
how long do we have to do this?

One thing you notice is that
these small towns

that you think are in the middle
of the lost prairie

are actually becoming
more and more like big cities,

while big cities are becoming
more and more like small towns.

It actually started a long time
before the country went nutzoid.

I'm Joe Bob Briggs, by the way,
and I'm especially proud

of our lineup tonight
on "The Last Drive-In."

Our first movie is a criminally
underrated sequel to a classic,

and our second movie is
a criminally underrated

Australian flick.

This is
Criminally Underrated Night,

and it will be especially spicy
because Darcy

violently disagrees with me
about one of the films,

right, Darcy?

-Violently?

-Darcy the Mail Girl,
ladies and gentlemen,

here to field the mail.

Neither masked killers nor
online bullies can stay Darcy

from her appointed rounds
as she processes your e-mails,

your tweets, your Instas,

your messages on --
what's that new one?

-New what?

-There's a social media platform
for horror only.

-Oh, Slasher.

-Yeah, we accept messages
from Slasher now.

Plus, we have a very special
guest,

a man whose middle name
is "Iconic,"

Mr. Jeffrey "Iconic" Combs,

star of "Bride of Re-Animator"

as well as several other
H.P. Lovecraft adaptations.

But the point I was making is,

you can cut through
the woods here,

and there's a trail that goes
down to that town --

what is the name of the town?
Hardwick.

And you know we're actually in
Appalachia here?

This is part of
the Appalachian Valley,

the Appalachian Trail.

You can hike through the woods
here about a half hour,

and you're on
the Appalachian Trail.

I did it yesterday.

The Appalachian Trail
is 2,190 miles long,

and I hiked it.
[Laughter]

Well, I hiked exactly
0.219 miles.

So I clocked it on my Fitbit
so I could tell people

that I hiked exactly 10%
of the trail.

Well, that's actually --
0.219, if it's 2,190 miles --

that's actually 1% of the tr--

no, that's actually 1/10 of...

1/100 of 1%.

I don't think it was 1/1000
of 1%, was it?

But it may be.

Anyway, it was an awesome
outdoor experience.

Anyway, most folks don't think
of New Jersey as being

part of
the Great Appalachian Valley,

but these are my people.

And, by the way, yes, I know

you're not supposed to say
"Appalachia."

It's "Appalatcha,"

and they would kill me
in East Tennessee,

but we're in New Jersey,
so I don't wanna have to

explain for the people who only
know about hillbillies from NPR.

Anyway, there are
some New Jersey hillbillies

right here over the ridge,
and, um...

What was my point?
Oh, yeah!

My point is
if you go into Hardwick,

people probably
won't talk to you.

And this does not surprise me.

I once lived
out in Muleshoe, Texas,

which is in the Panhandle,

and just about everybody spoke
to everybody else on the street

allthe time.

But not anymore.

If you go back there today,

people might wave
from their pickup cab,

but they're mostly isolated
inside their cars all day.

They drive around, by
themselves, in a motor vehicle,

doing stuff they don't discuss
with anybody else.

If they talk, it's on the phone.

But this is not what
the Chamber of Commerce

is telling you.

They all have those "Friendliest
Place on the Planet" signs

at the city limits,
you know, where, you know --

you know where people do talk
on the street?

North Beach San Francisco.

Downtown Chicago.

Greenwich Village.

Those are all places where
the neighborhoods

got smaller and smaller,

the buildings are all old
and under historic protection,

the sidewalks are wide,
and people walk around.

Therefore, they have to talk.
They don't have any choice.

All those places are known
for having great talkers,

famous talkers, whereas I go
into Hardwick or Muleshoe,

and I'm afraid to say anything

to one of those
tight-lipped, stern-faced,

stay-in-his-car-all-day
salesman types.

Another thing is traffic.

Small towns were always famous

for having polite drivers,
right?

Actually, the most polite
driving I witness

anywhere in the country is
on the Long Island Expressway,

'cause when that thing is
bumper-to-bumper,

the people in
the right-hand lane

alwayslet one car on
from the merge lane.

So you go one car, one car,
one car, one car,

and it moves smoothly
'cause they just kinda

weave together
the cars on the road

and the cars
on the entrance ramp.

But if you go to, say,
Birmingham, Alabama,

and you try to make a clean
merge onto the interstate,

watch out for some guy
bearing down on you at 50

who will not move or slow down
or change lanes.

Of course, that's his right.

You are, after all,
the person merging.

You just don't expect people
to insist on this right.

I got impatient with a slow
driver in Little Rock one time.

I passed him
on the right shoulder,

and I thought he was
gonna kill me.

He chased me for miles.

You know, they talk about
freeway shootings in L.A.

They haven't seen the look
on a driver's face

who thinks he's been wronged
in Savannah, Georgia.

But, finally, there's the old

"small towns are a great place
to raise kids" argument.

Small towns are terribleplaces
to raise kids.

The kids are so bored,
they turn to drugs and booze

as soon as they hit junior high.

What kinda places do kids love?

Places with subways
and street life

and Major League
baseball stadiums

and ballet class

and weird people
selling hot dogs on the corner.

Where do you go in a small town?

The mall!
And it's three counties over.

The place that looks like every
other place in the country.

This is what cities were
always accused of --

being full of boring buildings
that looked all the same.

I don't know where this "cities
are bad for children" thing

started,
but it's a big fat lie.

That's my opinion, anyway.

Go ahead and shoot me.

And speaking of
unnatural mutations,

"Bride of Re-Animator"
is finally here.

The first one was one of
our most popular flicks ever

on the original "Last Drive-In"
marathon in 2018,

and this is the sequel
that continues the story

of Herbert West's experiments

where he injects green serum
into dead bodies

and watches 'em start twitchin'
and frothin' at the mouth

and eventually
eatin' one another.

The original "Re-Animator"
came out in 1985

and was the first movie
ever made

where a principal actor
loses his head

halfway through the movie,

but finishesthe movie.

And now they've gone one better.

That same actor, David Gale,
is backin this movie,

or at least part of him is back.

His head gets fourth billing
in the sequel.

What a talent, you know?

This time Dr. West and his
wimpy colleague, Daniel Cain,

have been down in Peru,

looking for body parts
in a civil war,

when he discovers
a magic iguana,

and he starts screaming,
"Reptiles are the key!

We will create new life!"

If you mix iguana juice
with the green serum,

you can not only pump life
into dead people,

you can pump life
into body parts

without even using a brain,
so Dr. West starts doing things

like grafting four fingers
to an eyeball

and then making it run around
like a fleshy spider,

turning doorknobs and flirting
with other species.

Fortunately
for his future experiments,

Dr. Daniel Cain hasn't gotten
over his dead girlfriend,

Barbara Crampton, and Barbara
is too busy with her soap career

to help him out by taking a
supporting role in the sequel.

But fortunately,
Dr. West saved her heart,

and so if they can just collect
enough body parts

and enough serum,

yep, it's the old
"Frankenhooker" theme again.

But this time the head
of West's arch-enemy, Dr. Hill,

is busy over
in the pathology lab

trying to talk
one of his colleagues

into sewing bat wings
to his ears

so he can have a more ambulatory
life as a flying head.

In other words,
they did it again.

It's got everything
the original had.

I don't care
what you purists say.

Best movie of 1991,

and that was
a pretty great year.

So let's look at
those drive-in totals.

We have...

Drive-In Academy Award
nominations

for Jeffrey Combs
as Dr. Herbert West

for wielding the green needle,
mixing the serum,

and saying, "Pure potentiality,

the primordial ooze from which
life originates,"

and "How dare you
judge my work?"

and "He's a wife-beater, Dan!
Use the gun!"

and "I created what no man's
mind nor woman's womb

could ever hope to achieve."

Then, um, David Gale,
the Vincent Price of the '90s,

as the head of Dr. Carl Hill,
for saying,

"He took my body,
but he cannot take my mind."

Bruce Abbott as Dr. Daniel Cain,
for saying,

"She's gonna be
uncontrollably spastic."

Fabiana Udenio
as the love interest,

for screaming, "You're a freak!"

at the only person in the movie
who is nota freak.

Kathleen Kinmont
in the title role

as a re-animated,
do-it-yourself corpse

with the feet
of a ballet dancer,

the legs of a hooker,
the body of a virgin,

the arms of a waitress,
the left hand of a lawyer,

the right hand of a murderess --
which is better nail polish --

and the heart
of Dan's dead girlfriend,

which she rips out
and gives to him.

And, of course, Brian Yuzna,
who directed this movie

with good taste and restraint.

Four stars.
Joe Bob says check it out.

And, Darcy, after this,
I'm going for

an early morning run
on the Appalachian Trail.

You wanna go with me?

-How early?

-Like, right after the show
I'm gonna go.

-You can't go run on
the Appalachian Trail

in the dark.

-What if we put miner's hats on
like in "My Bloody Valentine"?

-Do you have a miner's hat?

-We have any miner's hats?
Yuki?

-Yes!

-Okay. See? Well?

-Okay.

-You're saying yes?
-I'm saying yes.

-You think that would be fun?

-I think that would be fun.

-I don't know what to say
when you agree with me.

Y-You've, like,
totally silenced me.

-Ooh. That's a good thing.
[Laughter]

-Actually kind of annoying.

-[Laughs]

♪♪

[Static crackling]

♪♪

♪♪

-West!

You bastard.

Youdid this to me.

But you'll not escape me.

Not this time!

[Laughs]

♪♪

[Shouting, gunfire in distance]

[Helicopter approaching]

[Patients groaning]

[Bombs exploding]

[Patients whimpering]

-Take this.
-Uh, it'll burst an artery.

-If we don't remove this now,
he's going to go into

cardiac arrest, I assure you.

Now just be ready to clamp.

-If it doesn't hold --
-We have no choice, Dan!

-[Groans]

-Now!
-[Screams]

-Jesus Christ!

It didn't hold!

[Bombs exploding in distance]

-But his central nervous system
is still intact.

He might still prove
to be useful.

More useful than
he'd be otherwise.

-[Sighs]

[Explosions and gunfire]

♪♪

♪♪

[Patients moaning]

♪♪

-We have to retreat!
The front lines have weakened.

-[Groaning]

[Explosion]

[Men shouting]

[Gunshot]

-Goddamn it, Herbert!
What are you doing?

-You know very well
what I'm doing, Dan.

-Don't you ever stop?

-We may never again
have access to this volume

of fresh subjects.

Fascinating.
There's somebody here.

[Explosions]

[Iguana hisses]

What do you want?
Get away from those!

-What are you doing back here?

-Leave.
-Put that thing away!

-This is too dangerous
for all of us.

-Where are you going? We've got
lots of work to do here.

-Come on! Jesus Christ!

-She's right!
-She's wrong.

-No! These people --
-Listen, we are close, Dan.

Reticular consciousness
is not just in the brain.

We know that, yes?
We've gone beyond that.

Look at this.

-[Hissing]

-These reptiles
are the key, Dan.

Yes.

You just still don't
understand, do you?

This is no longer about
just re-animating the dead.

We will create new life.

[Explosion]

-Hang on!

[Men shouting in Spanish]

-Francesca?

Get out of here!

-Come on! Let's go!

[Explosion]

-Let's go.
-My notes.

-Leave them!
-Wait!

-Forget it!
-We'll need this back home.

-Come on!

[Explosion]

♪♪

-Dan?

♪♪

-[Grunting]

-[Groans]

[Men speaking Spanish]

[Gunfire]

♪♪

-Aah!

♪♪

-Dan?

Well, you're going
to be all right.

We've got to get out.
Come on.

Come on. Let's go home.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Siren wailing]

[Heart rate monitor beeping]

[Door opens, closes]

-Morning, Gloria.

How's the star patient?

-Hello, Doctor.

-You look great.

I see you even put on
some makeup.

-Don't tease me.

It's just that...

my head is about the only
part of me that's not sick.

-Excuse me.

-This is Dr. West.

He'll be coordinating
with pathology

about your biopsy.

-You're right.
That part of you is quite well.

-I'm scared.

-Don't worry.
The surgery is routine.

I'll be taking
real good care of you.

Come on.

[Pen clicking]

She's not an experiment.

-She's terminal.
-She's a patient!

-She could be of use to us, Dan.

-Not us! You.
I'm a doctor.

-Well, bea scientist!

-[Humming]

[Telephone ringing
in background]

Yes?

-Lieutenant Leslie Chapham,
Arkham Police Department.

-Leslie?
-Lieutenant.

-Well, how may I help you,
Lieutenant?

-I understand that you're
in charge of the remains

from the night
of the massacre?

-Yes, but it's my understanding
that the case is closed.

-Not to me.

It showed up in
a carnival sideshow

just outside of Arkham.

-Dr. Hill?

-Remarkably well preserved,
considering the massacre

was eight months ago.

-All the specimens
from that night

exhibit the same qualities.

Yes, as you see,

the skull is fractured
right there.

-Didn't you know it was missing?

-You know, I could fix that.

-Where do you keep
the rest of the remains?

-The specimens from that night

have shown almost
no signs of deterioration.

This not only holds true
for the gross anatomy,

but the individual cells
in each specimen

display a lack of decay.

-Are you saying that
they're not quite dead?

-What's dead is dead,
Lieutenant.

I should know.
It's my field.

♪♪

-What's this?

-That's something, uh,
Dr. Hill was working on.

I haven't been able
to identify it.

Yet.

I was planning on doing
that first thing in the morning,

as a matter of fact.

-Is, um...
this all of it?

-Except for
fragments and debris.

-What happened to that?

-Why, we burned them,
of course.

♪♪

Suicide.

Would-be ballet dancer
didn't have the stuff,

cut off her feet
and bled to death.

[Laughter]

-Where are her feet?

-Her feet?

Why, uh...they're missing.

-A lot of stuff's been missing
from around here lately, Holmes.

-[Clears throat]

-Body parts?

-Really, Lieutenant?

Who would want to
steal body parts?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Yes!

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

♪♪

♪♪

How did you get back here?

[Laughs]

Well...

Well, well.

What do you think
of the location of the will

in the brain now, Dr. Hill?

I'm sorry, what was that?

Actually, you've been
quite useful to me.

You helped me prove that
consciousness resides in

every part of the body.

You had such pretensions
of grandeur,

you pompous plagiarist.

But look at you now.

You're nothing but a dead head.

A no-body.

[Chuckles]

-[Faint gasping]

-[Chuckles]

♪♪

♪♪

-Did that police officer
find you?

-Police?

-Yes, he came by
while you were in surgery.

-[Coughing]

[Sighs]

-You're gonna be all right...

Gloria.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Herbert?

[Sighs]

Herbert?

[Bubbling]

-Dan!
-Oh!

-[Laughs]

Look at this!

We practically share a wall

with the Avril's crypt
in the cemetery.

-Ew!

-Yes, that's a 150 years
of decay.

Oh, well.

Dust to dust.

[Groans]

-What happened to our cadaver?

-I was finished with it.

Would you help me
with this, please?

Security.

-From what?

Herbert, I've got
something to tell you.

-Really?

I have something to show you.

[Iguana hisses]

Shh.

Look at that, Dan.

And no tissue damage.

It simulates a heart attack.

And it leaves
virtually no trace.

-That's real useful
if you want to murder someone.

-It is very useful...

...in obtaining...

...the freshest
animal specimens.

Right here.

The amniotic fluid
of the Cuzco iguana.

Did you know that this
reptile has not changed

significantly in over --
-100 million years.

Herbert, I know
this is important.

-Now we extract
the amniotic fluid

from the sac.

With that,
we add the muscle proteins

of myosin, actin, and...

-Tropomyosin.

-Good.

And then...

[Bubbling]

...our re-agent.

Pure potentiality.

The primordial ooze
from which life originates.

[Chuckles]

Dr. Hill...

Dr. Hill gave me
this idea.

[Laughing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Laughs]

-I'm moving out.

-What?

-I'm moving out.

-Dan...

you can't turn back now.

This...

This is the key
to creating life!

Parts! Re-animated parts!

-I'm trying to save whole
people, not parts.

-Exactly, and what
are people, Dan,

over and above
a collection of living parts?

We can create...

new life.

♪♪

♪♪

[Laughs]

-This morbid doodling
with human body parts!

Is this what it's all about?

Is this what all our
great work has led to?

-Exactly what are you
insinuating?

-This is your madness!
-Oh, really?!

-It had nothing
to do with me.

-Oh, I see.
-I'm out!

-I didn't see you
rejecting my work

when Meg was lying there dead!

Where were your
great ideals then?

-Don't you...

♪♪

-Daniel?

What was it about Meg
that you loved?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Meg's heart.

♪♪

♪♪

Help me
to continue the work.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

We can create a new life...

...starting...

with Meg's heart.

[Heart beating]

-Yes.

-Now, Dan...

you're going to have to help.

At the hospital.

-What about the police?

-No, the police will
never come here.

[Doorbell buzzes]

♪♪

♪♪

[Static crackling]

-How cool is the four-fingered
eyeball spider creature?

Obviously, Dr. Herbert West
has become an addict.

He's constantly searching for
body parts,

being distracted by body parts,

thinking about parts of bodies
that aren't even dead yet.

Notice how he lovesthe fact
that Kathleen Kinmont says,

"My head is the only part of me
that's not sick,"

and immediately examines
her brain.

[Laughs]
And he spends his spare time

re-animating any kind of
dead tissue he can find

and combining it with other dead
tissue to create living toys.

He's playing God, and he gets
upset when his old friend Dan

doesn't play along with him.

In the first movie,
Bruce Abbott, as Dan Cain,

was the main character,
the protagonist.

He was driving the action.

Not so in the sequel.

Now Dr. West is firmly
in control,

and Jeffrey Combs
as Herbert West

is motivating everything
by his relentless pursuit

of new forms of life.

But why am I talking about
Herbert West?

[ Static crackling]

Yuki, got it set up?

Just get it pointed toward L.A.

[Beeping]

We have theHerbert West
here with us tonight --

Jeffrey Combs!

Welcome, Jeffrey!

-Joe Bob.

Sounds like the work continues
here.

-Jeffrey, I haven't seen you

since we did a convention
together in Arkansas,

and you introduced me to all
your relatives from the Ozarks.

Do you remember that?

I don't think anyone in our
audience would expect you

to have hillbilly roots.

-Hold on one second.

[Laughter]

Just hold on one damn second
here.

-Oh, no. [Laughs]

-[Southern accent]
So...what were you saying?

[Laughter]

What exactly were you, uh,
implying by

the heritage that I possess?

-[Laughs] Well, a whole bunch
of your relatives

came to that show,

and they did talk sort of like
you're talking now.

-Just like 'at, and I can go
to a damn graveyard

where there's a bunch of
tombstones with "Combs" on it.

And I don't give a shit what
anybody thinks about that.

-[Laughs]

-I just wanted to make you feel
a little bit at home.

-I do feel better.

-Not -- Not -- Not Texas,
not Arkans--

Texarkana-ish.

-Yeah, Texarkana!

-Yeah.
-[Chuckles]

Home of
"The Legend of Boggy Creek."

-[Normal voice]
You -- You are right.

Both my parents --
my mom and my dad --

were both from the Ozarks
and came out to California

after post-World War II,
thank God,

raise a family, and so I was
born and raised in California

with definite Ozark overtones.

-Okay, Jeffrey,
agree or disagree on this?

-Ah!

-"Bride of Re-Animator"
is a bro movie,

it's a buddy movie.

All the women are secondary.

It's a battle between
the relentless scientist

and the touchy-feely
man of medicine,

who happen to be roommates
and lab partners.

-Fairly accurate.

We continue to be roommates.

You know, amazing that after

everything that I put Dan
through in the first movie,

here he is, uh, kind of
going along for the ride

for -- for a second lap.

-Why areyou and Dan Cain
living together?

-Because the -- the work
requires all of our focus.

Are you suggesting
some sort of a --

a homoerotic kind of
fascination here

that, like,
kind of doesn't exist?

-I wasn't gonna be direct
about it,

but it's kind of in the subtext
that you have

more than brotherly feelings.

-No, here's what I'd say.

Herbert is, like,
all about the work.

It's nothing else but the work.

And whatever speeds that up
is what he's gonna go for.

You know, there's a scene
where Dan is, uh,

kind of having his way
with the Italian reporter,

and I kind of voyeur on that.

But it's not really --
it's because I don't understand

that kind of intimacy or --

and what a waste of time.

There's a lot of work
to be done here.

-So it's jealousy,
but it's jealousy because

it's taking away from the work.

-I didn't say it's jealous.

I think it's -- I think it's
kind of a curiosity.

That kind of intimacy
doesn't make sense to me.

-Do you go into a zone
when you do Herbert West?

-Kind of, yeah.

You know, I think Herbert
sort of personifies

everybody's wish to never, uh,
compromise.

We all have to put our tail
between our legs

every once in a while and go,
"Oh, gee, honey,

I'm sorry.
I was wrong, and I apologize."

Or, or, "Okay, okay, your way.
Whatever you say, dude."

Uh, "Yes, boss."

And Herbert is none of that.

-So what gets you to that place?

-Uh, the fantasy that
that's actually something

[laughs] that any of us could --
could actually achieve.

It -- it, um...

It is a certain kind
of a tenacity.

-Well, I think we can safely say

that you have ruined
Herbert West

for all other actors
for the next few decades.

You know how they say
Robert Preston

ruined "The Music Man"

and Yul Brynner ruined
"The King and I"

and Raymond Burr ruined
"Perry Mason"?

You know, they really mean that

they nailed the role
so perfectly

that anybody who comes along
afterwards

has to twist themselves
into a pretzel

in order to avoid copying them.

So, same with Herbert West.

-I appreciate that.
That means I did my job.

But at the same time,
I think there's a new

"Perry Mason" show on right now,
some iteration.

-Right, but it took several
decades to get there.

[As William Shatner]
-You know, William...Shatner...

no one could do...Kirk...but...

[Normal voice]
...we see that, actually,

someone else can do Kirk.

Maybe not to that degree, um...

-But a long time later.

-And a long time later.

So, okay, I'll take it.
I'll take it.

[Laughter]

-Well, you deserve it,
so thanks for being with us.

I love this movie.
I think it's underrated.

And we have
many things to talk about.

-On to reel two, I guess.

-[Laughs] All right.
Back to the movie.

"The police will never
come here."

Buzzzzz.

[Laughter]

Roll it!

Ah.

You know the iguana part is
actually from

the original Herbert West
stories

written by H.P. Lovecraft
in 1922?

Everybody always says
they were written

for "Weird Tales" magazine.

They were actually written for
a little pocket magazine

called "Home Brew."

And Lovecraft didn't even
much care for those stories.

Um, anyway, the iguana
does look prehistoric.

I know people keep those things
as pets,

and I know that he's a distant
relative of yours, Ernie,

so I'm sorry that you have to
hear this.

But there's nothing creepier

than going to some resort
in the Caribbean,

like the Virgin Islands
or the Caymans or whatever,

and the iguanas know where
the tourists are

'cause the tourists are always
dropping food on the ground.

And so you turn around
on your chaise lounge,

and 30 fuckin' iguanas
are staring at you

like you're today's lunch!

And they have those dead eyes,

and that big pouch
under their jaw

is heaving in and out
like a water balloon,

and you get this chill, like,

"I've gotta either
run into the ocean,

even if it's full of
water snakes,

or get a machine gun and destroy
this iguana army."

I mean, they look like
they could eat babies.

So I do not care about the fake
iguana dissection scene,

[laughs] you know?

Especially because it didlook
like a fake iguana.

You know, people that walk
around with iguanas

on their shoulders,
which is something like

youwould do, Austin --
you know, those people with

giant boa constrictors, you
know, and the tell you,

"Go ahead and put it
on your neck.

He's friendly."

You know, he's prehistoric.

He can sit on a rock for, like,
12 days.

He does nothing but eat
and kill.

There's a reason they sell
crocodile paperweights

but no iguana paperweights
in the airport shops.

People who have actually
encountered an iguana

don't wanna be reminded of it
back home!

I'm not kidding.

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackling]

-Daniel Cain?
-Yes.

Police?

Come on in.

Is there a problem?

-Who are you?

-Dr. West.

Lieutenant Chapham.

-Police.

-What do you want?

-It's...

quite an old place
you got here.

-It used to be a mortuary.

After the cemetery filled up,
it was the caretaker's house.

Nobody's been here
for 20 years.

-Odd place to live.

-Has its advantages.

-Hmm.

Pretty morbid stuff.

-I don't consider
science morbid.

-It was pretty morbid
the night Dr. Carl Hill died.

And Dean, um...

Dean...

-Halsey.
-Dean Halsey. Yeah.

And, uh, Megan Halsey.

You mind if I sit down?

Dr. West, what kind
of problems did you have

with Dr. Carl Hill?

-Dr. Hill and I had
professional differences.

It was nothing personal.
I have been all through this.

It's in the police records,

which I am certain
you have access to.

-I understand that
you have some

radical ideas about...

the reanimation of dead tissue?

-When I was in medical school,
I might have had time

to discuss the theory.

I don't anymore.

-I suppose those poor souls
out at the Sefton Ward...

are theory.

-I don't know
what you're talking about.

♪♪

-And I suppose you don't know
anything about

the missing body parts
at the hospital?

-Missing body parts?

-No.

-I can find my own way out.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-[Squeaking]

♪♪

[Screeching]

♪♪

♪♪

[Screeches]

-Aah!

[Wings flapping]

♪♪

-[Screeching]

-[Screams]

Get off! Get off!

Get off me!

[Bat screeching]

Aah! Get off!

[Bat screeching]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Ernest?

Dr. Graves wants to
see you right away.

-Pathology?
-Right away.

-What about the...?

-I'll take care of it.

-Cool.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-[Grunts]

More.

-Dr. Hill...

is that you?

-More!

♪♪

Dr. Graves.

-You...you see?

-I recognize you.

-You do?

-That seminar in Zurich...

-Yes.

-Your theory of reconciling
creationism...

with the origin of disease...

-Yes.

-Totally idiotic!

-Oh.

♪♪

♪♪

It's you. Come in.

No, no. No lights.

Come over here.

[Chuckles]

Dr. Hill, speak to me.

Speak to me, Dr. Hill!

Speak!

-This is some kind of joke,
right, man?

-No, it is not a joke!
He can talk.

He heard my lecture in Zurich.

-The head?
He heard your lecture?

-He can talk, for God's sake!

Listen.

Talk, damn it! Talk!

Talk!
-The head...

-Don't you ever do that again,
you mental midget!

-Oh, my God.
My God, I'm losing my mind.

-I have some
unfinished business.

And you will assist me.

-Not out the front door?

-Just a doctor taking
a patient out for a little air.

♪♪

[Dog barks]

-Man!
-Oh, my God!

-Herbert!

♪♪

[Indistinct muttering]

[Dog whimpers]

Hey, pooch.

-Yes!
You said "Hi" to him!

-Francesca!

Uh...

-Hi, Doctor.
-Hi.

-Don't let the little head
rule the big head, Dan.

-So, um, what are
you doing in Arkham?

-Oh, I'm doing some interviews
in Boston this week.

-Dr. Cain, 5436.
Dr. Cain, 5436.

-Oh, God. I've got to go.

-I know.
-Listen...

What about dinner tonight?

-Only if you let me cook.

Real Italian style.

-Okay.
Only if you let me help.

Real American style.

-It's a deal.
-See you tonight.

-Yeah.

Hope you like garlic!

♪♪

Well, Angel?
What do you think?

What do you think?

-Hey, pooch.
Where did you come from?

-[Chuckles] From Peru.
-[Laughs]

Is that where you met Dr. Cain?

-Why do you want to know, Mr...?

-[Chuckles] Oh, uh...

Lee Chapham.

Arkham Police.

Lieutenant.

I'd like to talk
to you about him.

[Elevator dings]

Did you ever hear of
the "Miskatonic Massacre"?

-No, I haven't.

-It happened here
at the hospital.

Eight months ago,
the department got a call about

a homicide at the
Miskatonic University hospital.

The whole place was in a panic.

It was down in the morgue.

There was blood
all over the walls.

You ever been around
dead bodies?

[Thud]
-[Gasps]

-Then you know that stench
of decaying flesh.

Out of the darkness,

we were attacked
by a naked maniac.

He jumped right on my partner
and bit his arm.

Nothing could make
him come loose.

Tore the muscle
right off the bone

before we pumped enough lead
in him to make him stop.

The dean of the medical school
was down there.

In pieces.

Also a prominent physician,
Dr. Carl Hill.

We found only his head.

The rest of his body was
just part of the muck.

Funny thing, though...

His head, when I found it,
was still...

...twitching.
-Twitching?

-The doctors had a lot
of highfalutin explanations.

Post-mortem involuntary spasm.

I don't know.

But I've seen
my share of the dead.

And I never saw twitching
like that before.

They blamed it all
on these ones in here.

The funny thing is,
there's a death certificate

at the hospital for
each one of these.

-A death certificate?

-I mean to say these
three didn't get

to the morgue
on their own two feet.

-[Groaning]

-The hospital made a mistake?

-[Groaning]

[Door slams]

-The hospital might
have made a mistake

about those two.

-[Groaning]

Not...

But not this one.

I know about this one.

She was my wife.

-I'm sorry.

[Screams]

-Elizabeth, stop!

-Get off me! Get off me!

[Screaming]

♪♪

-Are you okay?

-Yes, I'm all right.
Yeah, thanks.

That's enough.

-She's never done
anything like that before.

-Just...

What does all this
have to do with Daniel?

-Dr. Cain and Dr. West
were the only

normal survivors
of that night.

Daniel's girlfriend
was Meg Halsey,

the dean's daughter.

And Daniel was found
with her dead body in his arms.

Her dead body.

Twitching.

Like that blasted head.

[Static crackling]

-You know, I really like
this script,

but one of the oddest sequences
is the one we just watched.

Why would the police lieutenant
give Francesca a tour

of the mental asylum where
the surviving reanimated zombies

are being kept,
including his wife?

By the way, the skinny bearded
zombie -- that's Johnny Legend,

the rockabilly singer,
wrestling manager.

We know him as the curator
for Rhino Home Video

who did the "Sleazemania"

and the "Teenage Theater"
series.

He's one of us.

He runs the DVD label
Legendhouse.

Why he wanted to be a raving,
rabid, froth-mouth zombie

in this movie, I'm not sure.

Ah, and the other actor
I wanted to mention,

'cause I love his performance
as Dr. Graves,

is Mel Stewart, great comic
actor, character actor,

goes back to the days of live
television in New York City.

He was on old series like
"Car 54, Where Are You?"

and many people know him as
Henry Jefferson,

the brother of George Jefferson,
on "All in the Family."

He was in the great
blaxploitation film "Hammer"

with Fred Williamson.

But remember "Dead Heat"
from last season?

He was Captain Mayberry,
the guy who reads the riot act

to Treat Williams
and Joe Piscopo.

But to cement how cool
Mel Stewart was,

he was a sax player.

He played with both
John Coltrane

and Charlie Parker.

Always have to give shout-outs
to sax players.

Sax players rule.

This was near the end
of Mel's career.

He only made one more feature
after this.

He had a small role
in "Made in America,"

a big-budget flop comedy
with Whoopi Goldberg

and Ted Danson, and I think
Will Smith was in it.

All right, I probably don't have
to point this out,

but this movie has a special
effect in it every five seconds.

And that's because
it was directed by Brian Yuzna,

who had made "Society"
the year before --

one of our most controversial
movies on "The Last Drive-In" --

and, if you'll recall,

all the weird bodies
in "Society" were made by

the great Japanese effects
artist Screaming Mad George.

And Screaming Mad George also
worked on this movie,

but so did every other
special effects house in L.A.

There were four different
companies doing effects

on this film, 'cause Brian Yuzna
loves gore effects.

But Brian Yuzna had come
to Hollywood as a producer,

and his first movie in Hollywood
was the original "Re-Animator."

So he owned the sequel rights,

and he expected Stuart Gordon to
come back and direct the sequel

from a script that Gordon
was developing

with the writer
of the first movie.

But then Yuzna raised
the $2.5 million for this movie

from Japan,
but with one stipulation --

he had to be finished
in this tax year.

This would have been
the tax year 1989.

So he told Stuart Gordon,
who was in Chicago,

"Come on out to L.A.
and do this movie,"

and Stuart Gordon said,
"No, I can't do that.

The script is still six months
away from being finished."

And so Yuzna says,
"Look, this is the reality --

you have to make the movie
when the money is here."

And he was right about that.

And so he got the two guys
who wrote "Society"

to do a really fast script.

And they didn't use anything
that Gordon had been developing.

They just went back --
where do you go --

where do you go back to

when you're doing
a re-animation story?

You go back to "Frankenstein,"
of course.

So it's kind of a combination of

Mary Shelley's original
"Frankenstein" novel,

plus some ideas they stole

from Universal's 1935
"Bride of Frankenstein."

Like, one of the ideas is taken

from an early
"Bride of Frankenstein" script,

and that's the idea that,

when you create the life
of a male,

you start with the brain,

but when you create
the life of a female,

you start with the heart.

Hence the scene where
Herbert West

convinces Daniel Cain
to work with him,

because the woman he loves,
Meg -- it's her heart.

Herbert even places the heart

in the center
of the operating table

on a clean white sheet, to
indicate that everything they do

is going to be building out
from Meg's heart.

But, again, let's ask Jeffrey.

Jeffrey, you have some amazing
lines in this movie.

Do you ever read the line,
you know,

when Herbert West
is at the height

of his poetic megalomania,
you ever read that line and say,

"I-I don't think
I can say that line"?

-No. What I kind of
say to myself is,

"How do I say this line?

How do I make it live,
just like one of these corpses?

How do I make this thing fly?"

-Well, you always nail those.

Well, if we were
just reading it,

we'd think it was over the top.

-Commit -- that's what you do.
You commit.

-All right, you grew up
in Lompoc, California.

-Ah, let's correct that
right now.

"Lom-poke."

-"Lom-poke," then.

-It's a -- it is a Chumash
tribe name, "Lom-poke,"

and it means
"where the waters meet,"

or "where the waters...
overflow their banks,"

or whatever.

-Okay, so you grew up in Lompoc.
-I did.

-A town I associate with
the psych ward

of the California prison system

and the missile base where they
test the nuclear rockets.

-That's right.
I grew up with missiles

going off weekly.

I would sit in
my elementary class

or junior high or high school,

and you hear this rumble --
brrrgggg! --

just, you know, everything
was vibrating,

and the teacher would go,
"Okay, fine,"

and everybody would run outside
and get to watch

first stage, second stage,
third stage.

"Okay, everybody back in."
[Laughter]

It's also known as
the Valley of Flowers.

A lot of flowers, a lot of
flower seeds came from Lompoc.

I don't know if
that's still the case.

So flower fields and, like,
nuclear annihilation any moment.

[Laughter]

-And then you went to

the Pacific Conservatory of
the Performing Arts

in Santa Maria,
which I gather it's one of those

total-immersion acting schools,

like Neighborhood Playhouse
in New York,

where they make you dance
and do voice exercises

and stage combat and all
the full range of stuff you need

for the classical stage, right?

-Listen, it was
an amazing place.

It was at a community college,
two-year college.

However, the guy who ran
the drama department

was a visionary.

And he created
a theater department.

There -- he got the --
the city to

put up money to build a --
a mini version of the Guthrie.

And he put on summer theater,

six shows rotating --
musicals, classics, new play.

It was such a, um, forge
for so many actors.

So many actors went
through there,

and, uh, it's why I'm here
today, really,

because I was just --
just surrounded by

just excellence.

-Did they teach you
all the old-school stuff,

like how to fence?

-Uh, to a degree,
but that kind of came later,

'cause after I -- it was just
a lot of on-stage time,

just a lot of,
a lot of productions.

Shakespeare, musicals, uh,
Strindberg, Molière.

It was just a cavalcade
of all kinds of styles.

And then I went to a --

I knew I needed to kind of
balance that out

with, like, actual training,
like Julliard or something.

So I got accepted into --
University of Washington

has an actor training program,
so I moved up to Seattle.

-Oh, yeah, highly respected
program up there.

And then you did
regional theater for four years.

-Well, right out of college,
I got to go to

the Old Globe Theatre
in San Diego.

Uh, I worked at South Coast Rep,

Arizona Theatre Company,
Mark Taper Forum,

California Shakespearean
Festival

that doesn't exist anymore.

I was just kind of a
a bit of a nomad, you know?

-Yeah?
-Until an agent saw me.

-I think all the great actors
do theater first.

I was talking to Lance Henriksen
about this,

and he said he did 100 plays
before he ever did a movie.

-I'm not surprised.

-In fact, did you do any famous
Shakespearean parts?

-Uh, I played Puck.

-Were you ever Laertes?
[Laughs]

-Uh, I was never Laertes.
I was never Hamlet.

Uh, I, uh...
which plays did I do?

I did "Twelfth Night,"

"Midsummer Night's Dream"
three times,

small role in "Hamlet," uh...

Henry V, Julius Caesar.

-And then, of all things, you
become famous for "Re-Animator."

Were you surprised?

-I was.

Uh, I'd done a little bit
of movies --

a day here, a day there,
two weeks there,

but nothing that really gave me
any kind of a scope

about horror movies, really,

or even how to judge any movie
while I was shooting it,

whether or not it was gonna be
something elevated

or it was just gonna be
forgotten.

So, um, so "Re-Animator"
was just...

a lot of happy accidents
in "Re-Animator,"

I mean, across the board,
of just music, editing,

casting, directing...

-Well, it's on my all-time

"top 10 horror movies
in history" list.

-Thank you.
I just thought it would be

like, "Oh, there'll be another
one, and the next one will be

kind of like that."

And then you realize
how incredibly magical it was.

-And since then you've done
all kinds of roles,

on two different
"Star Trek" series.

You've done "I Still Know What
You Did Last Summer,"

"House on Haunted Hill."

You were a Bigfoot hunter
in "Abominable."

-With Lance Henriksen.
-Right.

Also "Masters of Horror"
as Edgar Allan Poe.

You were in the Peter Jackson
movie "The Frighteners."

You played Montgomery Clift
in "Norma Jean and Marilyn."

Um, you channeled your Ozarks
relatives in "Love and a .45."

-Shot in Austin, Texas, there,
Joe Bob.

-[Laughs]

Ah, you have a rich
and varied career.

-Yeah.
-All right, back to the movie.

They have Meg's heart now.

So let's get to work on it.

Roll it!

-[Laughs]
-Ah!

Remember when we had
Kane Hodder on,

and we talked about how he
grew up on the Kwajalein Atoll,

which is a tiny island in the
Marshall Islands in the Pacific?

So that's the island that
they use for target practice

when they launch the missiles
from Lompoc.

So the future Herbert West is
living where the missiles are,

and they're being launched to
where the future Jason is,

and they're almost exactly
the same age,

and so there's this weird
Herbert West-Jason connection

and this weird Jeffrey Combs-
Kane Hodder connection

and this weird combustible
nuclear Cold War horror nexus.

Or it could just be meaningless
factoids that I'm mumbling about

instead of going
straight to the movie.

So, probably the latter.

♪♪

[Static crackling]

[Insects chirping]

[Bubbling sounds]

-Be careful not to use
too much of that.

We don't want premature
reanimation.

-Thank you.
I've never done this before.

-Yes.

Good.

[Gurgling sounds]

The circulation
is going to work.

-Goddamn it, Herbert!

What are we doing
here anyway?

Why don't we just
publish our findings?

We could get grant money.

-Because they would never
understand our methods.

Besides that,
they would steal the work.

-It's never gonna work.

She's gonna be
uncontrollably spastic.

Unless we re-animate
all the limbs at the same time,

they'll separate.

-That's why we inject
directly into the heart.

The circulatory system
should distribute the re-agent

to all the various
limbs and effect

re-animation concurrently.

-We've never done that before.

-I know that.

-No, I don't want to gamble
with Meg's heart.

[Doorbell buzzes]

[Door closes]

Oh, God.

-Ciao, dottore. Come va?
-Francesca.

Uh, sorry about the place.

I didn't have
any time to...

-Did I come too early?

-No!
No, no, no, uh...

God, you look great.

-Open this up, will you?
It's a Chianti, 1987.

Uh...so, where is
the kitchen?

-Uh, it's right over here.

Did you have any
trouble finding it?

-Oh, no. The cemetery
made it real easy.

♪♪

♪♪

This is my special sauce.

Here.

What do you think?
You like it?

-Mm, I love it.

So do I.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Oh! Oh! Aah!

♪♪

[Gags]

[Groans]

[Panting]

Come on.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-You're so beautiful.

Your skin's so soft.

So warm.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-What are you doing here?

♪♪

What do you want?

-The body you took
from the crematorium.

-Get out of here.
Right now.

-What's down here?

-That's none of your business.

You are making a big mistake.

-Do you believe that dead
is dead, Dr. West?

-I don't know what
you're talking about.

-I am talking about my wife!

[Clattering]

-No!
You can't go in there.

-Move.
-No.

-Move!

[Lock clicks]

♪♪

[Door closes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

You...

butcher!

-How dare you judge my work?

-Work?

Was my wife your "work"?

-Don't lay your guilt
on me, Lieutenant!

-What?
-Your wife died of

multiple contusions
to the head.

From a blunt instrument.
-No.

-Multiple blows to the head!
-She fell!

-Ha!
She fell, did she?

-That was not my fault!

Aah!

[Muffled groaning]

[Heartbeat slows to a stop]

[Static crackling]

-I love the part where Dan is
upstairs having sex --

well, he was having sex with --

she's considered one of
the mostbeautiful women

in the world at the time --
supermodel, Miss Teen Italy.

She was Miranda in a famous
production of "The Tempest"

at the 1984 Summer Olympics.

That's Fabiana Udenio,
who would later become famous

as Alotta Fagina in
"Austin Powers."

-[As Austin Powers]
Yeah, baby!

[Laughter]

-And Herbert West is really
bothered by it.

He knows they're up there.

He's messing around with
body parts, and...

Jeffrey, Herbert West is just

notinterested in women
at all, is he?

-[Normal voice]
Well, listen, I'm downstairs

messing around with body parts,

and, um, Dan's upstairs
messing around with, uh,

body parts.

Yeah, you know, I probably,
um...

I sort of, kind of --
I-I like that little scene

because Herbert just
doesn't get it.

He just can't get it.

Uh, what are they --
first of all,

he should be down here.

This is, again, he's not
learning the lesson.

Uh, I gotta go get him.

And when I do go up and get him,
it's --

things are going on
I just can't even relate to.

-[Chuckles] Well, we just
watched a very funny scene

where you're attacked by a leg.

You had a lot of scenes where --

and we don't usually
think about this

when we're watching the movie --

but you were just working with
appliances and props.

-I should get stunt pay,

because I'm making that leg
kick me

and reacting to it.

It was kind of puppet work,
sort of,

'cause there's no other way
that it can be done.

So I have to control it,
so, yeah.

-Okay, here's my question
about Herbert West.

He is the ultimate
man of reason.

He hates superstition.

He hates sentimentality.

He's all about experimentation,
results,

the triumph of the human mind.

He's Ayn Rand
in "Atlas Shrugged."

Is there a point at which
devotion to pure reason

becomes insanity?

-Probably. Probably.

I mean, he doesn't really fit
into society

in any neat way, at all.

And yet, you say all this,

but everybody just loves
what Herbert's doing.

Let's try to
figure that one out.

-Did you model
your Herbert West on anyone?

-Uh...

Only in the spirit of
all of those mad scientists

movies that we all grew up with,
you know,

and the stories.

You know, uh, Lovecraft --

"Re-Animator" was not
one of his favorite stories.

-I've heard that.
-It was a serialized thing

that he got paid a little bit
of money for,

but he dismissed it.

But he was in the spirit of
"Frankenstein."

It's basically
what he was doing.

I'm sure the publisher came to
him and said,

"Do something Frankensteinien."

Is that a word?
[Laughter]

-Well, West seems to enjoy
barking at stupid people.

-He has no patience for it.

-I love the scene where you
talk to the head of Dr. Hill,

and you gloatabout him being
a "dead head"

and a "no-body."

[Laughs]
Again, a scene where I assume

you had to do that alone.

-I'm trying to remember.

I think maybe David Gale,
with head attached,

was probably off -- off-camera

that I could kind of look at
and emote to, yeah.

Oh, either that
or piece of tape.

I really don't re--
I don't remember.

It's either one or the other,
usually.

-It seems that
you and Bruce Abbott

had a really close rapport.

-We still do.

Herbert and Dan are
inextricably linked,

and so's Bruce and I.

I just, uh, talked with him
a couple of days ago.

He's a, to this day,
a very good friend of mine.

-Well, the reason I say that
is that the two of you

did a commentary track
for this movie,

and you seem to be actually
watching the movie together,

unlike almost every other
commentary track ever made.

-Bruce and I have a --

we feed off each other.

We prefer to do it that way...
-Right.

-...as opposed to just
in solitary --

"And then I picked up the thing,
and then I..."

You know, this way, we've got
someone to play with,

and so I'm sure we requested
that we watch it together.

-Well, all the effects guys
on the movie

complained about it
being a 24/7 job.

Uh, what about the actors?

-Well, to a degree, yes.

It's always
hurry up and then wait.

Uh, when there's that many
special effects,

you are waiting around
for those guys

to kind of get it to the point
where they feel good about

what's gonna be shot,

and multiple takes,
and there's always glitches.

And so, you know, we're in
the dressing room going,

"When -- when do we
say our lines, please?"

-[Chuckles] All right.

Well, you've just killed
the veteran character actor

Claude Earl Jones.

-He deserved it.

[Laughter]

-Uh, in real life,
a drama teacher

at Ganesha High School in Pomona

and known among horror fans
as a carny

in Dave Friedman's "She Freak."

But, of course, no one stays
dead in a "Re-Animator" movie.

-Everything is an experiment.

-So, roll it!
[Chuckles]

Oh, man. Ayn Rand.

Does everybody read
"Atlas Shrugged"?

Do people still read that?

You know, people used to base
their lives around that novel.

"Atlas Shrugged"
and "The Fountainhead."

Who was the famous economist?

Uh, Alan Greenspan, the guy
who ran the Fed for years --

he said "Atlas Shrugged"
was his bible.

But, I mean, if somebody told me
that they made a life decision

based on that book, I would have
to say, "That is a dealbreaker.

You may need medical help,"

because just on the basis
of the sentence structure

and prose alone.

I mean, it's infuriatingly
repetitive, dense.

The book is, like,
3,000 pages long,

and the book just punishes you.

I think Alan Greenspan
must have been a masochist.

Anyway, most people go through
this period where they go,

"You know, I think I'll read me
some Ayn Rand.

Everybody talks about her."

And then for a few months,
they go,

"Hey, you know,
this part makes sense.

Yeah, that makes sense,"
you know,

because when you're reading
a novel,

you instinctively identify
with all the main characters.

And then at some point,

these alarm bells
go off in your brain,

and you go
"I'm becoming a Nazi!"

And then a year later they go,
"Wow, that really sucked.

What did I do?

You know, plus, she was crazy."

You know, "What do you mean,
my Ayn Rand period?

I don't have an Ayn Rand period.
You must be mistaken.

What are you talking about?"

[Laughs] But --
But Herbert West -- there he is!

Ayn Rand would wanna marry
Herbert West,

or at least have sex with him

inside a wind turbine
or something.

♪♪

[Static crackling]

♪♪

-What happened?

-He attacked me.

No, Dan! Dan!

I can't help it
if his heart gave out!

-God, Herbert, he's a cop!

You...

What are we gonna
do with him?

-Well...

we could get him
back out on the street.

Walking.

♪♪

You don't want to gamble
with Meg's heart.

This is our opportunity
for a test.

Do you want to waste it?

♪♪

How much do you think
he weighs? 230, 240?

-[Scoffs]

So little tissue damage.

Oh, Dan?

Just in case.

♪♪

♪♪

-Daniel?

♪♪

-It's working.
-[Mumbles]

[Heartbeat intensifies]

[Muttering]

Get away from me
with that cloth!

-No! Dan!

-[Grunts]
-Aaah!

He's a wife-beater, Dan!
Use the gun!

♪♪

-[Grunts]

♪♪

[Grunting]

[Screams]

♪♪

[Screaming]

[Skin sizzling]

[Heartbeat continues]

[Grunting]

[Glass clattering]

♪♪

♪♪

-Dan?

-Herbert!

-[Gasps, groans]

[Whimpers]

♪♪

♪♪

-Lieutenant Chapham!

What are you doing here?

-[Snarling]

-Herbert!

-[Groans]

-[Barks]

-[Grunts]

-[Barking]

-Aah!

[Grunting]

-No! Stop!

No!

-Get away from me!
Get out!

Get away!

♪♪

♪♪

-[Grunting]

♪♪

-[Grunts]

♪♪

[Groans]

♪♪

-[Sobs]

-What happened?

-[Sobs]

♪♪

-Is he gone?

-What is going on here?!

What did you do to him
to make him that way?

-She's hysterical.

-What did you do to him?!
Why?!

-[Screams]

[Groaning]

♪♪

♪♪

[Owl hooting]

♪♪

[Dog barking]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Metal clatters]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-What are you doing down here?

Your welcome does not extend
to this part of the house.

-Angel?

Sweetie...

-[Growls]

-[Screams]

-[Snarls, barks]

-[Screams]

Get out of my way!

-You should never have
brought her here.

-Get that thing out of here!

-[Growling]
-Francesca, wait!

Let me explain.
-Is this what you did to Meg?

You're a freak!

God, I hate you!

-Mm.
You're better off without her.

♪♪

♪♪

Dan, now listen to me.

All we need is just
one last piece.

Dan?

-Gloria?

Hi.

[Monitor beeping]

How you feeling today?

You see...

it helps me to think
of you as Meg.

Meg who lived.

♪♪

[Monitor flat lines]

♪♪

Nurse!

Paddles!

I didn't even notice.
God, what's wrong with me?

-Let me through!

-Give me that!

Clear!

[Electricity pops]

Push the lidocaine!

Clear!

[Electricity pops]

-Forget it, Dan.
Let's go in.

♪♪

[Saw whirring]

-She's never gonna survive this.

-She's already dead, Dan.

No, you're off midline.

Oh, damn it!

♪♪

I'm getting nothing here.

-I'm sorry.

-Come on!

[Suction sound]

Anything?

-Still flat.

I'm calling it.

-Noooooo!

Not again.

♪♪

♪♪

-Go home.

Go...home.

♪♪

♪♪

Yes.

Come to room 613, right away.

♪♪

♪♪

[Static crackling]

-Dan Cain sees every woman
as the love of his life.

Herbert West sees every woman
as a potential cadaver

to be harvested.

That's Kathleen Kinmont as
the dead Gloria who flatlined

while Dan was professing
his love

just before Herbert West
jumped on top of her

and made an incision down
the whole front of her body

before they brought out...
the bonesaw.

Was that a bonesaw situation,
Jeffrey?

-It's what was there, you know?

What are you gonna do?

You can't wait around.

You gotta get in there.
[Laughter]

-Jeffrey, over the years,

have you become a student
of Lovecraft yourself?

-In our first meeting,
Stuart said,

"You know, this is based on
Lovecraft."

And I went, "Yeah.
Oh, wow. Okay."

But I didn't really
know who Lovecraft was.

But that's not quite true.

Lovecraft was already being
ripped off

here, there, and everywhere
in literature

and in the movies.

So it only, um --
it only opened my eyes

to just how pervasive his methos
had steeped into --

into our culture without me
even being aware of it.

-Right.
-So, um...

yeah, I've read quite a bit
of Lovecraft since then,

usually because someone is
interested in

turning something into --
into a movie...

-Right.
-...which is kind of hard to do.

-Well, "Re-Animator" caused
everybody to go back through

all the Lovecraft stories
and see if there's anything else

they couldturn into a film.

-Right. He's difficult.

Lovecraft -- "Re-Animator"
is one of the few sort of

plot-driven, character-based

pieces that Lovecraft wrote.

A lot of them were much more
amorphous, atmospheric,

a general sense of dis-ease
about some ethereal world

that's around us.

He spends a lot of time going,
"I can't describe to you

how awful it was."

Oh, well, oh, okay, then.

-[Laughs]
Well, I know you're a student

of Edgar Allan Poe,
because you have a one-man show

called "Nevermore"

that you have performed
in Los Angeles and New York,

and I'm dying to see it,
but I've never been around

when you were doing it.

What is the status of that show?

-Um, I am still --
you know, I did it

just before the hammer came down
on all of us

and we had to wear masks
and keep our distance

and not go to theaters.

-Seems like it'd be perfect
for off-Broadway, actually.

-Tried for a long time.

Uh, New York's a hard nut
to crack.

-True.
-You'd say to someone

that I do a one-man show
about Poe,

and I see the eyes glaze over,

like, "Oh, that's gotta be
a turgid evening of darkness."

[Laughter]
But it's not.

Um, you know,
Stuart Gordon directed it,

and we kind of put the package
together as a group --

me, him, and Dennis Paoli.

But you can't get past
people's preconceptions.

-I think -- did you see
the show, Darcy?

-Yeah, a couple of times.
-Really?

-Thanks for coming.
-Aw, my pleasure.

-Ah, speaking of directors,
though,

how'd you get along
with Brian Yuzna?

'Cause Stuart Gordon did
the first movie,

and he was a pure theater guy.

Brian Yuzna is basically
a businessman

who learned to direct
from Stuart Gordon.

That had to be different.

-Different.
Every director is different.

Um, Brian was very good
at technical,

at getting the coverage
and making sure

that he had enough to, uh,
put a scene together.

He was particularly, uh, focused
on the different

visual effects and gags.

And I got along great
with Brian.

It's just completely different.

Stuart had spent years
in the theater

hanging around with actors,
felt comfortable with actors,

knew their vocabulary and --

-So Stuart was focused on
the actors,

and Yuzna is one of
those directors

who kind of lets the actors
do their own thing?

-The actors know what they're
doing, yeah.

-There's been talk
for about 30 years now

about doing a movie where
the Men in Black

recruit Herbert West to set up
a lab in the White House,

where you're keeping
the president alive,

or re-animating him for
the greater good or something.

Have you had actual
conversations

about that project?

-Uh, that was -- that was
a strongly held desire of --

and I thought it was a kernel
of an idea,

a really good one, by Stuart.

It was called
"House of Re-Animator."

And it sort of came up
in the time of Bush

in the White House,
and Stuart really wanted to

stick it to them.
[Laughter]

And, um, I always sort of felt,
"Well, but, uh...

that's kind of maybe

slicing off a big part
of your audience if --

when was Herbert West
in "Re-Animator"

ever political before?

So that rears its, uh, severed
head every once in awhile.

[Laughter]
-Ah.

These movies that depend
heavily on special effects,

like "Bride of Re-Animator" --
they had four different

companies doing effects
for this one.

Is that tedious or fun
or challenging?

-Well, you know,
whether it's tedious -- it is --

or it's challenging
for the actors,

but at the same time, what do
you get at the end of the day?

You get something that's really
right there in front of you.

It's a practical effect.

You know, if you threw CGI
at this stuff,

I really don't think
it would hold up.

-Yeah?
-You know, you've seen CGI

get better and better,
and you go back and look at

a lot of movies and you go,
"Ooh, ooh!

They thought that was
such a cool toy,

and it has not held up
very well."

-All right, well, the splatter
continues big-time

as we get back to
"Bride of Re-Animator."

And I do think it's time
to build the bride.

One of your best speeches
coming up, Jeffrey.

Roll the film.

[Chuckles]

All these special effects guys,
they say,

"You know, we had no CGI."

They say that over and over
and over again.

Do we really care whether
they had CGI or not?

I mean, you know, "Today
this would be done with CGI,

but we had no CGI."

Okay. Yeah.

Like, in 1978
we had no cellphones.

"Today this call would be made
by cellphone."

You know,
they're sort of implying

that practical effects are
better than digital effects,

and the truth is,
it depends on the effect!

You know, sometimes
digital is better,

'cause if you didn't have
digital,

you wouldn't have that image
at all

because it's something
impossible to film.

So one is not better
than the other.

These are tools in a toolkit.

Why don't we just use
allof them, you know?

♪♪

[Static crackling]

-[Wheezing, grunting]

[Wheezing continues]

[Gasping]

Damn you, West!

Wilbur!
Get me out of here!

-No.

-West took my body,

but he cannot take my mind.

Take me to him!

-No.

Just don't talk.

Don't say anything.

-[Snarls]

-[Screams]

-Don't make me get someone else.

[Wheezes]

♪♪

-[Gasping]

♪♪

♪♪

-What do you
think you're doing?

Stop!

Do as I say, you nincompoop!

[Groans]

-Come on, come on.

-[Groans]

-You're going away now.

[Muttering indistinctly]

-[Muffled grunting]

-Now, now...

-[Grunting]

Oof!

[Door opens]

-Yo, Dr. West.

-Let's get this.

No, no.
You get the feet.

I'll get the head.

♪♪

-Hey, was she good-looking, Doc?

♪♪

♪♪

-You take this to
the crematorium.

-Crematorium?
You mean pathology.

-I mean the crematorium.

-Well, excuse me!

-Excuse me,
have you seen Dr. Cain?

-He left.
For the day, I think.

-Is there something wrong?

-He's very upset.

He lost a patient.

I've never known a doctor
that cared so much.

-Yeah.

[Insects chirping]

-Now, Dan, I'm going to need
your help with this.

Understand?

This is for you, too.

-Gloria! No...

-Dan, don't quit
on me now, please.

It's going to take
the two of us to fuse

the brain to the spinal cord.

-No!
-Dan, look!

Look what we've done.

Meg's heart is going
to beat again.

Others dare not dream
what we are about to do.

Dan...

The feet of a young
ballet dancer,

who ended her life
when she lost her ambition.

These legs...

walked the streets.

You remember the hooker
who was killed in ER

by her pimp last week?

Think of all the bodies
these legs have wrapped around.

What was the value of her life?

To end up being picked
apart by the likes of

Dr. Graves and
his bumbling students?

And here,
the womb of the virgin.

Struck down before tasting
the pleasures of life.

Remember?

Her skin. So soft.

So warm.

But so cold in death.

The arms of a waitress.

The lawyer's hand.

Case dismissed.

And look at
this delicate piece.

What do you think?

A sculptress?

A harpist?

Would you believe...

a murderess?

But they're all equal now.

Nothing but cast-off remnants
of a meaningless existence.

Even her.

How beautiful is this face?

Oh, yes.

She...was special.

-Yes.

-Just...dead...

tissue.

But in our hands,

it's the clay of life.

Within this chest,

Meg's heart will beat again.

♪♪

♪♪

Good.

Let's get to work.

♪♪

♪♪

-Who's there?

♪♪

♪♪

[Door slams]

I didn't do anything.

-[Laughs]

-Oh, no.

-You disappoint me,

Dr. Graves.

[Laughs]

-Please.

-On the table!

[Laughs]

-No!

-Yes!

Scalpel.

-[Grunts]

♪♪

[Telephone rings]

♪♪

[ Line ringing]

-[Grunting]

-Left!

-[Grunting]

[ Ringing continues]

[Gasps]

Get off me!
Let me go! Get off me!

-What's the matter?
Don't you like me?

-No! Let me go!

No!

-Cain, West.
They did this to me!

-Get the fuck off!

-And they'll pay!

[Pounding on door]

-Please, let me out!

Let me out, please!

Please let me out!
Please!

[Alarm bell ringing]

-Oh, my God!

-Get security!

[Alarm bell ringing]

♪♪

[Thunder rumbles]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

-Well...

if it all had been
as fresh as the head,

but...

I think we're ready, Dan.

-Good.

[Thunder crashes]

[Scratching]

Sounds like rats in the wall.

-Rats?

Yes.

That's what it is.

The little buggers
better stay put or I'll...

[Thunder crashes]

We start with the heart.

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

[Electricity crackles]

And God created woman.

♪♪

-Let me.

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

[Glass shatters]

[Static crackling]

-Jeffrey!

I see you were homesick
for the Ozarks again.

-[Southern accent]
You got 'er.

-[Laughs]

The scene where you go through
all the body parts,

describing each one and
its origin and its purpose --

you're seducing Dan, aren't you?

You're turning him on, right?

-[Normal voice] That's all I've
been doing this whole movie

is trying to get him to...
join me in the work,

and I know that
the heart is the --

is the lynch pin, and then
everything else just, uh,

falls into place,
'cause you know what?

You know, Meg --
Meg is his universe,

and if she can come back,
I got him.

-[Chuckles]

Well, all the best scenes are
you and Bruce Abbott

kind of being an old married
couple.

-The Bickersons.
[Laughter]

-Renewing your vows,
at this point.

-"Herbert, you can't."
"Yes, I can."

"You can't."
"Watch me."

So, yeah, it's -- it's music.

We have a lot of fun with it.

-And then from here on out,
it's "Bride of Frankenstein."

It's the whole
"Bride of Frankenstein" movie

in one sequence.

But the actual bride
is beautiful,

and Kathleen Kinmont --
she does a wonderful job

wearing all that makeup
and all those appliances

that took eight hours to put on
every morning.

-Let me tell you, man,
it is high opera,

what she does.

I think one of the most powerful
pieces of film,

at least horror film,
that I've ever seen,

is when she...
rips her own heart out

and ha-- pushes it out and said,
"Is thiswhat you want?"

Even she knows that it's not her
that Dan wants.

It's this.

-Yeah, it's amazing
that she finds that place

after she's already exhausted.

You know, are you frequently
recognized on the street,

by the way?
-I would say this --

I am when I go to conventions,
yes.

When -- out where I live
in the outer 'burbs, no.

Not so much.

But the closer I get into
sort of a city center,

yeah, "Hey, hey, wait a minute.
Aren't you that guy?"

-Darcy, in our Twitter universe,

how many people say they have
a crush on Jeffrey Combs?

-Oh, my God. So many.
It's insane.

I didn't want to mention it
'cause he was here, but...

-What I would probably say is,
maybe a crush on a younger --

-No, no, no, no, no.
[Laughter]

We know what we like.

-Is it kind of like the same
thing where people have crushes

on, like, you know,
murderers in prison?

-Good question.

-I think they just think
you're hot.

Deal with it.
[Laughter]

-Maybe people like you because,
um,

Herbert West is a kind of...

-Bad boy, yeah.

-Yeah, I think it starts there.

-I think it all goes, also,
to that Herbert

takes nothing from anybody, and,
uh, that's sort of attractive.

-I wanted to mention
one other thing.

Your father-in-law is
a chemistry professor,

and he actually came on the set
and helped with the green serum.

-Yes, he did.
He's retired now,

but he was a chemistry professor
up at Hayward for many years.

And, um, he came on set
just to visit,

and he said, "That is all wrong.

That's really all very wrong."
And, uh...

-So he knew theformula?

-He didn't know the formula
for re-animation,

but he knew how that sort of
apparatus would, uh --

the sequence of what would go
where and when and then what,

and so I went to Brian,
and I said,

"Brian, we have an expert here."

And the prop guy went,
"I -- hey."

So he went to work and made it
look more, uh, believable

to any scientists or chemists
that would watch the movie.

They'd go, "Oh, wait a minute.

Oh. Okay.
This is legit."

-I had read somewhere
that it was luminol

and methacellulose, I think?

-Luminol is, uh, a derivative
of phosphorus and algae.

-Yeah.
-In the ocean, whenever people

see things glowing,
it's these things.

And so they're able to, uh,

separate these two chemicals
together.

It's the same stuff that's in
a glow stick for a kid

going on Halloween or something.

You break it -- notice you have
to break those things,

and then all of a sudden
it glows?

It's 'cause two chambers.

I'm sort of surprised that kids
can run around with this stuff,

'cause they would say,
"Don't get this on you.

Don't -- wash your hands
if it does get on you.

It's -- It's bad."

-And the other interesting
substance

used by the prop department was
those gossamer sheets

that they -- that are used
to cover the bride.

That's material normally used
for burn victims,

but the camera just loves
those things.

And there's a kind of beauty
to the bride,

as we'll see
in this final sequence --

the final sequence,
when all the failed

Herbert West experiments
come out of that crypt,

and all those were the work
of Screaming Mad George.

And I heard a story --
maybe I heard this from you --

that Screaming Mad George was
like a rock star on the set.

-I, uh -- that was my first
sort of introduction to --

I just call him "Screaming."

So, uh, yeah, in Japan,
he was, like, in a punk band.

And he was really genius.

He also did, um,
"Beyond Re-Animator."

He also did some effects
for that, as well.

-Right.
-Uh...

Just insane, just insane.

-Well, one of the
Screaming Mad George creatures

that I do want to mention --
he's seen very briefly

in the chaotic ending --
is played by Noble Craig.

Noble Craig had no legs,
and he had only one arm.

He had stepped on a buried
artillery shell

while serving in Vietnam.

But he had a long acting career

doing roles that required
amputees.

He was in "Sssssss."
S-s-s-s-s-s-s.

I never know how to say
that title.

He was the vomit creature
in "Poltergeist 2."

He was the sewer monster in
"Big Trouble in Little China."

And he's one of the monsters
in the final scene here.

Noble died in 2018,

and we failed to mention him
in our annual "In Memoriam,"

so I'm noting his work now.

-He lived up to his name.

He was a sweet, gentle guy
and very patient.

You have to be in sort of
situation.

And, um, I enjoyed my time
with him.

-Thank you, Jeffrey.
It's been great.

Say hi to everybody in
"Lom-poke."

-Yeah, you got it.

-And next time you go back to
the Ozarks.

-Next time I go back
to there, I'll, uh -- I'll --

[Southern accent]
My grandma once made me

squirrel-brain gravy.

And if I ever have it again,
I'll think about you, Joe Bob.

-[Laughs] You do that too well,
Jeffrey.

Right now you're about to
destroy several sets

in the final sequence of
"Bride of Re-Animator."

So roll it!

Would you ever do Herbert West
one more time?

-Well, yes, I would,

uh, depending upon the, uh...

the circumstances.

You know, uh, if it's something
that was an idea

that thrilled me,
I think that it's --

the story has not yet been
finished.

-Really?
-You know, I just

had a conversation with Bruce
the other day,

and he said, "I don't know why
I'm saying this, Jeff,"

but he said, "I have a feeling
that we're not done."

And I said, "Well, wh-what?
What do you mean?"

He said, "I don't know.
I don't know.

Just putting that out there."

But, um, you know,
Dan's still alive,

and Herbert got out of --
got out of prison.

-And I assume, Brian Yuzna would
be the guy to make that happen?

-Brian has tried
every which way,

upside down and backwards,

trying to, uh, make that happen.

It's not without trying.

-Well, somebody must have
that White House script.

I mean, you could be
re-animating politicians.

You know? Maybe you had to wait
for this political epoch

to make that story.

No one would be offended.
I don't --

I don't know anyone who's
pro-politician right now,

so now's the time, Jeffrey!

You know,
"Let 'em decay naturally.

Don't re-animate them!"
[Laughter]

-But maybe Herbert is the hero.

Maybe he fixes everything.

-He's the hero we deserve.

You know, some of 'em have that
re-animated look already.

-Some of them do.
They don't look quite...

completely right.

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackling]

[Thunder crashes]

-Time?

Time?

-15 seconds.

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

45 seconds.

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

3 minutes, 15 seconds.

-It's going to take time.

-[Sighs]

[Doorbell buzzes]

-Damn it!

Not now!

♪♪

-[Sighs]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

-[Growling, snarling]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Groans]

-Aah!

-[Laughing]

[Glass shatters]

[Wings flapping]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

-[Screams]

♪♪

-Aaah!

-[Screams]

-[Screaming]

-[Grunting]

♪♪

-Aaah!

-[Coughing, panting]

-[Grunting]

-[Grunting]

-[Grunts]

-[Roaring]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

-[Gasping]

-Breathe.

-[Wheezing]

-Breathe.

-[Gasping, wheezing]

-Yes.

[Thunder crashes]

Breathe, breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Stay with me.

Yes.

Yes.

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

You're alive.

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

-Alive.

[Gasps]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

-[Growling, roaring]

♪♪

[Growling]

♪♪

[Francesca screams]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Grunts]

♪♪

-[Laughs]

-[Grunts]

[Thunder crashing]

♪♪

[Wings flapping]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thud, groaning]

-Herbert!

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Oh.

♪♪

I made you.

-Daniel!

-She's alive.

-They're coming!

-Now! [Laughs]

[Glass shatters]

-Dan! Get her out of here!

-Freeze!

Police! [Grunting]

-What?

♪♪

-Francesca, go!

♪♪

-[Groans]

♪♪

-[Screams]

-[Growling]
-[Screams]

Dan, help me!

[Gunshot]

[Gunshots]

♪♪

-Aah!

-[Groans]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

-[Whimpering]

♪♪

-No! This!

♪♪

Get this!

♪♪

Yes.

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

-Who is she?

-It's Meg.

-Meg is dead.

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

-Dan!

[Pounding on door]

[Growling]

My God, they're using tools.

♪♪

♪♪

-[Grunts]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

-What have you done
in here?

-We created a life.

-You made her?

-Yes.
Dead pieces of this!

With my hands,
I created what no man's mind

or woman's womb
could ever hope to achieve.

-This is blasphemy!

-Blasphemy?

Before what God?

A God repulsed
by the miserable humanity

he created
in his own image?

I will not be shackled
by the failures of your God.

The only blasphemy is
to wallow in insignificance.

I have taken refuse
of your God's failures,

and I have triumphed!

[Thunder crashes]

There!

There is my creation!

[Thunder crashes]

-He made me.

♪♪

-Open up! Open!

♪♪

-Dan? We've got
to fight them off.

Leave him alone!

Listen to me.

-[Screams]

♪♪

-[Grunts]

♪♪

-[Screams]

[Grunting]

♪♪

[Grunts]

♪♪

-[Screams]

♪♪

-Your girlfriend doesn't
stand a chance.

-[Grunts]

-Our girl is superior.

-[Screams]

[Screaming, moaning]

-Help!

-Leave her alone,
you monster!

-Aaah!

-Forget it, Dan. She's just
an assembly of dead tissue.

♪♪

-You...

You made me.

-Imade you!

[Thunder crashes]

[Electricity crackles]

-Don't! Dan, wait!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Don't you want me?

♪♪

-I don't want your body.

[Thunder crashes]

[Electricity crackles]

-Then what do you want?!

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

[Bones cracking]

♪♪

[Heart beating]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

Is this what you want?!

-You're not...

Meg.

Meg's dead.

-[Screams]

-No!

[Door splinters]

[Screams]

♪♪

-Out of the way!

-You're next,
you little squirt!

-[Screams]

-[Laughs]

[Glass shattering]

[Screaming]

♪♪

-[Screams]

♪♪

-[Manic laughter]

[Screaming]

-Make a note of it, Dan!

-[Screaming]

-Tissue rejection!

-[Screaming]

♪♪

-My wife understands,
really.

-[Grunting]

-Aah! Aah! Aah!

[Thunder crashes]

[Bones snapping]

♪♪

-Francesca!

♪♪

-[Laughter]

West!

You stupid biped!

[Laughs]

♪♪

-No.

Get back!

How dare you!

-[Groaning]

You're under arrest!

-[Laughing]

♪♪

-Get off!
Get off of me!

♪♪

No! [Grunts]

-[Growling]

-Oh, my God, Dan.

-[Laughing]

-[Growling]

-[Screams]

-[Laughs]

-[Groans]

♪♪

-[Grunts]

♪♪

[Groans]

-[Grunting]

-Are we having fun yet?

[Laughs]

♪♪

-[Screams]

[Screaming]

-[Grunting]

-Get off of me, you rejects!

♪♪

[Loud thud]

[Hill laughing]

-It's over, West!

[Laughs]

♪♪

[Screams]

♪♪

[Insects chirping]

♪♪

-[Grunts]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-[Gasps]

♪♪

-Aaaaah!

[Laughs]

[Heart beat slows]

♪♪

[Heartbeat stops]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Static]

-"My god, they're using tools!"

Perhaps one of the classic lines
in horror.

Herbert West, always
the analytical scientist

even in the midst of a massacre.

Even better, as he's fighting
off zombies and the world is

crumbling around him and the
bride's head is falling off,

"Make a note of it, Dan!

Tissue rejection!"

[ Laughter ]

The reason I think they'd
have a hard time

remaking "Re-Animator" --
although they do talk

about it -- is that
Jeffrey Combs just owns it.

You couldn't find someone
willing to do the role

who wouldn't either copy him
or be vilified

for destroying the character.

The final sequence was supposed
to be more elaborate

but they ran out of time.

Screaming Mad George
had made a full menagerie

of creatures that were
in that crypt,

and when the wall crumbles,
all of Herbert West's

failed experiments, like the leg
attached to the arm,

all come crawling out
and devouring things.

You may have noticed that they
knock over the whole vat

of green serum and it spills
onto the floor

in a room full
of body parts --

so you would expect that all
the body parts would animate.

Brian Yuzna wanted
to do exactly that,

but since they were only working
with practical effects,

that would have taken
an extra week of shooting.

Whereas, if they'd had CGI,
we would have that scene today.

So just saying.

Robert Kurtzman of KNB Effects
was the main artist

who worked on the bride,
which was a combination

of Kathleen Kinmont's real body,

she had to be completely
nude when she got into that

skin-tight suit because
some of the body

on the outside is really her
body,

and other parts are rubber,

and then there are
20 appliances on there.

But Kathleen Kinmont
was an excellent bride,

especially during
the breakdown scene.

I don't think she gets enough
credit for that.

John Carl Buechler
was the main artist

who worked on Dr. Hill's head
and made it possible

for David Gale to fly around
the set calling Herbert West

an ignorant bi-ped, and even
though that particular effect

was roundly criticized,
fans thought it was silly

and far-fetched,
but I think it's brilliant.

People forget
from the first movie,

Dr. Hill is a mesmerist, meaning
he can do mind-control stuff

on the zombie police lieutenant
and Dr. Graves.

They down-played the mesmerism
in the first movie,

but it's there.

Oh, and just one more story.

They always have a day before
they start shooting

when all the actors come in
to be fitted

for their various wardrobes,

and so the day is spent trying
on shirts and coats and hats

and being measured.

And so, on Wardrobe Day
of "Bride of Re-Animator,"

David Gale shows up!

[ Laughter ]

And then he goes "Oh yeah,
I guess I didn't need

to come down here, did I?"

I gotta hand it to him, though.

That's a fully realized
performance

using only his head.

So, Darcy.
Whoa, my God, Darcy.

[ Laughter ]

Or should I say Kathleen.

Oh, man.

You've outdone yourself
this time.

[Laughs]

-Why, thank you, sir.

-Oh, man.

I know you're a fan of
"Frankenhooker"

and these two movies
are very similar in the idea

behind them and they came out
the same year,

so I've got to ask you.

Which one is better?

-Team "Frankenhooker," man.

-"Frankenhooker?"
-Yeah.

-You think "Frankenhooker"
is better

than "Bride of Re-Animator?"

I disagree, but go ahead.

Tell -- Tell us your thoughts on
"Bride of Re-Animator."

-I mean, it's a really
great sequel.

It's got less wit but more gore
than the original,

which is not necessarily
a bad thing.

-Well, I know you love
deformities in movies,

deformities of all types,
and this movie

has deformities out the wahzoo.

-Yeah. As a gory B movie,
it's really fun.

It has that old horror
comic book feeling.

It's only when you compare
it to the original "Re-Animator"

that it falls apart.
[Laughter]

-I don't think it falls apart.

I don't it ever falls apart.

I think it stays --

-It's a joke about body parts.

-Oh, oh. I'm sorry.
Okay.

-I tried [Giggles]
-Alright. Well, anyway...

-"Re-Animator" is a
once-in-a-lifetime

freaking masterpiece.

-That is true,
and I want to thank

Jeffrey for being
with us tonight.

He doesn't often
do this kind of thing.

-Yeah, thank you.

-Did you notice that when they
start re-animating

the bride, suddenly they have
thunder and lightning?

You know, the only reason
to do that, I would think,

is to remind us of the original
"Frankenstein."

-Or, you know,
"The Bride of Frankenstein."

-Or "The Bride of Frankenstein."

-People -- people talk
online about whether

"Frankenhooker" ripped off
"Bride of Re-Animator"

or "Bride of Re-Animator"
ripped off "Frankenhooker,"

but they both ripped off
the original novel

"Frankenstein"
plus Elsa Lanchester's

bride of Frankenstein.

Some of Kathleen Kinmont's
spastic movements

are very similar.

Yeah, exactly.

They're very similar to Elsa,
don't you think?

-Yeah. She Completely nailed it.
-Okay.

Well, she's Meg, she's Gloria,
she's a ballet dancer,

these are the body parts
of Kathleen Kinmont.

She's a hooker,
she's a killer,

she's a lawyer,
she's a waitress,

she's the ultimate Herbert West
failed experiment,

but it's so poignant.

That's why I think it's too bad
they couldn't do

the deformed creature army
at the end

because they had
to leave all that

Screaming Mad George stuff
in storage.

Because all those creatures
in the crypt

are suffering like her.

It could have been a gargantuan
expression of suffering,

and ripping her heart
out of her chest though,

that probably is enough,
you know?

'Cause I call that one
of the great moments in horror.

-It's definitely iconic.

-What do you think
of Bruce Abbott?

I know you love Jeffrey Combs,
but Bruce Abbott

is in both of these movies.

-He's fine, too.

[Laughter]

-They tried to make Bruce
hotter in this movie.

He had -- they did
the Barry Gibb haircut.

-Well, he definitely
got the do down.

-Okay, well, alright.

Well, we can't talk about

"Bride of Re-Animator"
all night.

What do you got for me?

-Is this what you want, Job Bob?

-Oh, just like the movie.

I thought you were
Kathleen Kinmont for minute.

-It is from River D.
of Virginia,

and I kind of -- you'll see it.

I had to copy the letter because

he had drawn on the outside.
I didn't want to get...

-You didn't want to get blood
on his letter.

-Yes.

-River D. sounds
like a rap name.

Oh, no, wait a minute.

I see why you're not
giving out his last name.

-Yeah.
-This is cute.

I remember this letter.

So, on the outside
of the envelope it says,

"A note from River's Mom:

He only sees snippets
of your show.

Your show is like
his forbidden fruit,"

and then a happy face
and a heart.

And then -- and then, um...

Also, apparently,
River's did a drawing here.

"Bahaha Ernie,"
and he has a picture of Ernie.

-Oh, it's Banana Ernie.

-Huh?
-Banana Ernie.

-Oh, Banana Ernie.
-You see? There's the banana.

-I thought it
was Ernie laughing.

Oh, okay. Banana Ernie.
-It's alright.

-Okay, so it's a banana
version of Ernie.

Alright, we do have some
young kids

that watch the show,
and I do hope all the parents

are as vigilant as this mom is

and says he's only -- he's only
allowed to watch snippets.

Okay.

"Dear Joe Bob.

My name is River,
and I'm a huge fan.

I'm a 8 year-old.

I loved 'Wolfcop.'"

I don't know why.

[Laughter]

-He speaks for all of us.

-"You're address
is New York City?

Aren't you from Texas?

I hear you like Cracker Barrel."
-[Chuckles]

"I've never been to one because
they just serve regular

supper and we eat at home
every night.

So next time you're in Virginia,
you should come eat

dinner at my house for free!

Of course Darcy can come, too.

We have veggie tray.

[Laughter]

Love, River."

-Ah, it's cutest letter ever.

-Especially because he knows
that you need a veggie tray.

He's really paying attention.
-He's so thoughtful.

-Alright. Thank you, River.
Yeah, I'm from Texas.

I'm temporarily in New York
for business,

but the show
is normally in Texas.

Right now we're in New Jersey.

Long story on that,
but what I'm gonna suggest

is that the next time
I'm in Virginia

we should go to Cracker Barrel
together with your mom

so you can see
what that's all about.

But only if your mom approves,
but thanks for the letter.

I'll be sending you one back.

Very refreshing to get these.

-Yeah, that was really sweet.

-It's a lot better than
"Joe Bob, you ignorant doofus.

Don't you know that
'Halloween III' is genius?"

-But it is genius.

-Alright, don't start
on "Halloween III."

-[Gasps] Job Bob.

[Laughter]

You're tearing me apart.

-You can only do so much
with the heart.

Okay, well, we have
another movie coming up,

a lost Australian classic,
but in the meantime,

I'm Joe Bob Briggs
reminding you that you cannot

unsay a cruel word

and the drive-in will never die.

Did I tell you the one
about the Empire State Building?

[Chuckles]
-Let's find out.

-Two men are drinking
in a bar at the top

of the Empire State Building.

One man turns to
the other man and says,

"You know, last week I
discovered that if you jump

from the top of this building,
by the time you fall

to the 10th floor, the winds
around the building

are so intense that they carry
you around the building

and back into the window."

The bartender just
kind of shakes his head,

and second man says
"What, are you a nut?

No way that could happen."

First guy says, "No, it's true,
lemme prove it."

So he gets up from the bar,
he jumps over the railing

and starts plummeting
toward the street.

When he passes the 10th floor,
the high winds

whip him around the building
and back

into the 10th-floor window.

He takes the elevator
back up to the bar.

Second man says,
"You know, I saw that happen,

but it must have been
a one-time fluke."

First guy says
"I'll prove it again!"

Jumps off the railing,
hurtles toward the street.

The 10th-floor wind gently
carries him around the building

and into the window.

He goes back up and tells
the other guy,

"Go ahead, try it yourself."

Second guy goes,
"Okay, what the hell."

He jumps over the railing,
plunges downward,

past the 40th floor,
the 30th floor, the 20th floor,

past the 11th floor, 10th floor,
ninth, eighth,

and on down -- hits the sidewalk
with a splat.

Bartender turns
to the first guy, says,

"You know, Superman, you're
a real jerk when you're drunk."

[Laughter]

-Okay, good one.

[Laughter]

[Static]