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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:01,043
SONG: # One, two, three, four,
five, six, take it down!
2
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:04,004
SONG: # One, two, three, four,
five, six, take it down!
3
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:25,234
# Cue the pulse to begin
4
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,277
# Cue the pulse to begin
5
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:36,119
# Cue the pulse to begin
6
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,957
# Cue the pulse to begin
7
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:39,998
# Cue the pulse to begin
8
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:43,919
# Cue the pulse to begin
9
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:43,961
# Cue the pulse to begin. #
10
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,296
# Cue the pulse to begin. #
11
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:49,925
HARD INDUSTRIAL DANCE MUSIC THROBS
12
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:53,011
HARD INDUSTRIAL DANCE MUSIC THROBS
13
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:01,478
You fucked him?
Wednesday.
14
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,730
You fucked him?
Wednesday.
15
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:03,772
And the hot Latino?
Thursday.
16
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,399
And the hot Latino?
Thursday.
17
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:05,482
Well, 'ole', Teddy.
You are out of control!
18
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:08,902
Well, 'ole', Teddy.
You are out of control!
19
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:08,944
Good evening, twats.
20
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,737
Good evening, twats.
21
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:10,779
Would you kindly refrain from using
derogatory references to women,
22
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:14,241
Would you kindly refrain from using
derogatory references to women,
23
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:14,283
since they represent
half my fanbase?
24
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,410
since they represent
half my fanbase?
25
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:16,451
Have any hermaphrodites?
26
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,036
Have any hermaphrodites?
27
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:18,078
I don't think so.
28
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,955
I don't think so.
29
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:19,997
Good. Go fuck yourself.
30
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:22,416
Good. Go fuck yourself.
31
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:22,457
Anybody here worth doing?
32
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,042
Anybody here worth doing?
33
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:24,084
No, sorry, Bri. Already done 'em.
34
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,794
No, sorry, Bri. Already done 'em.
35
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:25,836
Oh, we were up to Friday.
36
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,337
Oh, we were up to Friday.
37
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:27,379
Oh, there's Friday.
38
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,089
Oh, there's Friday.
39
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:29,131
Over there.
The bossy bottom over there.
40
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,008
Over there.
The bossy bottom over there.
41
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:31,049
He's a bottom?!
42
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,634
He's a bottom?!
43
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:32,676
Yeah. You should hear
him sing 'Natural Woman'.
44
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,887
Yeah. You should hear
him sing 'Natural Woman'.
45
00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:34,928
Better than Aretha, I might add.
46
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,430
Better than Aretha, I might add.
47
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:36,471
You gotta gag 'em first,
then fuck 'em!
48
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,724
You gotta gag 'em first,
then fuck 'em!
49
00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:39,850
You still have
much to learn, dear boy.
50
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,852
You still have
much to learn, dear boy.
51
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:41,894
Oh, my God, who's that?
52
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:44,062
Oh, my God, who's that?
53
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:46,148
DANCE MUSIC RISES
54
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:49,234
DANCE MUSIC RISES
55
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:00,704
TED: I don't know,
but I believe I have Sunday free...
56
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,081
TED: I don't know,
but I believe I have Sunday free...
57
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:04,374
Count on staying home
and trimming your pubes.
58
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:07,336
Count on staying home
and trimming your pubes.
59
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:13,425
I'll let him have this one.
60
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,968
I'll let him have this one.
61
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:45,457
SONG: # I feel sexy
62
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,125
SONG: # I feel sexy
63
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:49,127
# If you like it
64
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,338
# If you like it
65
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:52,798
# Don't just stand there,
there, there, there, there
66
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:56,343
# Don't just stand there,
there, there, there, there
67
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:15,195
# Just stand there,
there, there, there, there... #
68
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,907
# Just stand there,
there, there, there, there... #
69
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:38,177
BEN: Wow, Rage and J.T.
are finally tying the knot!
70
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,596
BEN: Wow, Rage and J.T.
are finally tying the knot!
71
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:40,637
It's about time, wouldn't you say?
72
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,472
It's about time, wouldn't you say?
73
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:42,514
Did they go to Toronto?
74
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,016
Did they go to Toronto?
75
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:44,057
No, Massachupiter. It's a planet.
76
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,143
No, Massachupiter. It's a planet.
77
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:46,185
Unlike Pennsylvania, it's legal
for gays to get married there.
78
00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:49,396
Unlike Pennsylvania, it's legal
for gays to get married there.
79
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:49,438
Aha! So where do we buy
our rocket ship tickets and zoom off?
80
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:53,317
Aha! So where do we buy
our rocket ship tickets and zoom off?
81
00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:53,358
Huh. I wish.
(Chuckles)
82
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,860
Huh. I wish.
(Chuckles)
83
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:54,902
Well, until we can,
84
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,403
Well, until we can,
85
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:56,445
we'll just live vicariously
through our intrepid superheroes.
86
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,780
we'll just live vicariously
through our intrepid superheroes.
87
00:03:58,780 --> 00:03:58,822
Well, let's hope
that 5,000 readers -
88
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,283
Well, let's hope
that 5,000 readers -
89
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:01,325
no, what the hell, make it 10 -
agree with you.
90
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:03,994
no, what the hell, make it 10 -
agree with you.
91
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:04,036
I'll get these out of your way.
92
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,913
I'll get these out of your way.
93
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:05,954
You coming to our house-warming?
94
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,789
You coming to our house-warming?
95
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:07,831
I wouldn't miss it!
96
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,416
I wouldn't miss it!
97
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:09,458
It's gonna be a bad-ass blow-out.
98
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,793
It's gonna be a bad-ass blow-out.
99
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:11,835
What do you say we start early?
100
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,378
What do you say we start early?
101
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:13,420
Mm-hm.
Mmm.
102
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,215
Mm-hm.
Mmm.
103
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:16,256
(Both moan happily)
104
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,343
(Both moan happily)
105
00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:19,384
(Moans warningly)
106
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,886
(Moans warningly)
107
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:20,928
Here he is!
108
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,554
Here he is!
109
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:22,596
Our wayward son.
110
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,139
Our wayward son.
111
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:25,641
Cool cover!
Where you been?
112
00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,768
Cool cover!
Where you been?
113
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:27,809
I thought you were
gonna be home by 6:00.
114
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,645
I thought you were
gonna be home by 6:00.
115
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:29,686
I was practising
with my debating partner.
116
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,605
I was practising
with my debating partner.
117
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:31,647
Whenever I used to tell my parents
that, I was usually getting stoned.
118
00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:34,483
Whenever I used to tell my parents
that, I was usually getting stoned.
119
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:34,525
When's the big event?
120
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,568
When's the big event?
121
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:36,610
Uh, tomorrow afternoon.
122
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,111
Uh, tomorrow afternoon.
123
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:38,153
It's in front of the whole school.
124
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,738
It's in front of the whole school.
125
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:39,780
What's the topic?
Capital punishment.
126
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,115
What's the topic?
Capital punishment.
127
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:42,157
I'm all for it.
I say fry the motherfuckers.
128
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,743
I'm all for it.
I say fry the motherfuckers.
129
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:46,662
Now you see why we're so proud.
(Laughs)
130
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,998
Now you see why we're so proud.
(Laughs)
131
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:50,040
Now, what I'm about to show you
may frighten small children,
132
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,001
Now, what I'm about to show you
may frighten small children,
133
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:53,043
so parents may want them
to leave the room.
134
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,837
so parents may want them
to leave the room.
135
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:54,878
Scary, huh?
136
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,964
Scary, huh?
137
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:57,005
It's what I call the comb OVER...
138
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,675
It's what I call the comb OVER...
139
00:04:59,675 --> 00:04:59,716
..like Wally's, here.
140
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,218
..like Wally's, here.
141
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:01,260
But see how much hotter Wally looks
142
00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:04,346
But see how much hotter Wally looks
143
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:04,388
when he embraces his baldness?
144
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:07,266
when he embraces his baldness?
145
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:07,307
Why, Wallace...
146
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,184
Why, Wallace...
147
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:09,226
..is that a hickey?!
148
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,727
..is that a hickey?!
149
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:10,769
Go for it, tiger! Grr!
150
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,312
Go for it, tiger! Grr!
151
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:12,354
Alright, those are my
hairdos and don'ts.
152
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,899
Alright, those are my
hairdos and don'ts.
153
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:15,941
Next week, I'm waxing -
154
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,734
Next week, I'm waxing -
155
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:17,776
and I'm not talking about
the kitchen floor!
156
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,403
and I'm not talking about
the kitchen floor!
157
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:19,444
OK, everybody.
158
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:20,946
OK, everybody.
159
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:20,988
Be fabulous!
160
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:23,615
Be fabulous!
161
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:23,657
Thanks, Queer Guy.
That's it for tonight.
162
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,159
Thanks, Queer Guy.
That's it for tonight.
163
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:26,201
Hopefully, we'll be 'hair' tomorrow.
164
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:29,037
Hopefully, we'll be 'hair' tomorrow.
165
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:29,079
May all your news be good news.
OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS
166
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:32,291
May all your news be good news.
OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS
167
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:32,332
MAN: We're out.
168
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,543
MAN: We're out.
169
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:34,585
Thank you so much.
170
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:36,503
Thank you so much.
171
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:36,545
That was fabulous!
Yeah!
172
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,463
That was fabulous!
Yeah!
173
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:38,505
See, you've even got me doing it.
Sorry, Don.
174
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,799
See, you've even got me doing it.
Sorry, Don.
175
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:40,841
Sorry? Since you've been on the air,
the ratings have gone up two points!
176
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,719
Sorry? Since you've been on the air,
the ratings have gone up two points!
177
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:43,760
Now everybody wants
the queer perspective.
178
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,138
Now everybody wants
the queer perspective.
179
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:46,180
Channel 9 has even hired a trannie
weather...uh, person.
180
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,974
Channel 9 has even hired a trannie
weather...uh, person.
181
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:49,016
Well, let's just hope he...she...
182
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,976
Well, let's just hope he...she...
183
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:51,018
can decide if it's gonna
be rainy or fair!
184
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,853
can decide if it's gonna
be rainy or fair!
185
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:52,895
Either way, your fans are gonna be
lined up around the block
186
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:55,314
Either way, your fans are gonna be
lined up around the block
187
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:55,355
to see you tomorrow at Hoffman's!
188
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,274
to see you tomorrow at Hoffman's!
189
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:57,316
So many in need, so little time.
190
00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,234
So many in need, so little time.
191
00:05:59,234 --> 00:05:59,276
And wait till you read your...
192
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,111
And wait till you read your...
193
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:01,153
..fan mail.
194
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:02,654
..fan mail.
195
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:02,696
Fan mail? For me?
196
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,198
Fan mail? For me?
197
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:04,239
Even people who hate fags love you.
198
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,825
Even people who hate fags love you.
199
00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:11,788
CARL: Here you go, hon.
200
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,332
CARL: Here you go, hon.
201
00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:13,373
(Groans) Oh, thank you, Carl, but...
202
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,002
(Groans) Oh, thank you, Carl, but...
203
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:17,044
..honestly,
I don't think I could keep it down.
204
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,338
..honestly,
I don't think I could keep it down.
205
00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:19,379
(Sighs)
206
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,923
(Sighs)
207
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:20,964
Are you still hurtin'?
Mm-hm.
208
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,509
Are you still hurtin'?
Mm-hm.
209
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:23,550
Poor baby.
210
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,053
Poor baby.
211
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:26,094
Did you take what
Dr McGrath prescribed?
212
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,055
Did you take what
Dr McGrath prescribed?
213
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:28,096
That quack?!
214
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,681
That quack?!
215
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:29,723
He had me splitting corn
to be served with orange sauce.
216
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,476
He had me splitting corn
to be served with orange sauce.
217
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:36,980
I mean, there are
all these new diseases.
218
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,649
I mean, there are
all these new diseases.
219
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:38,690
You know, damn doctors
can't keep up with it.
220
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,817
You know, damn doctors
can't keep up with it.
221
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:42,027
Mmm.
222
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,612
Mmm.
223
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:43,654
What if it's mad cow,
or that bird flu?
224
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:46,448
What if it's mad cow,
or that bird flu?
225
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:46,490
Come to think of it, a pigeon
shit on my shoulder the other day -
226
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:49,368
Come to think of it, a pigeon
shit on my shoulder the other day -
227
00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:49,409
I gotta remember to tell that
to the new doctor.
228
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,411
I gotta remember to tell that
to the new doctor.
229
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:51,453
New doctor?
230
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,955
New doctor?
231
00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:52,996
I'm getting a second opinion.
232
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,915
I'm getting a second opinion.
233
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:54,957
Actually, it's more like a fourth.
234
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,376
Actually, it's more like a fourth.
235
00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:57,417
OK, that's it.
236
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,044
OK, that's it.
237
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:02,464
Who you calling?
The station.
238
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,800
Who you calling?
The station.
239
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:04,842
I'm gonna take you.
Carl, please, no!
240
00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,885
I'm gonna take you.
Carl, please, no!
241
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:06,927
It'll just make it worse, alright?
242
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,929
It'll just make it worse, alright?
243
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:08,971
Thinking that I'm
keeping you from work.
244
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,098
Thinking that I'm
keeping you from work.
245
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:11,139
(Sighs)
246
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,599
(Sighs)
247
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:17,980
You go solve a murder or two.
248
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,357
You go solve a murder or two.
249
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:20,399
(Tuts) I wish I could solve this...
250
00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:22,317
(Tuts) I wish I could solve this...
251
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:22,359
(Gasps) Gently! Gently.
252
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,069
(Gasps) Gently! Gently.
253
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:26,947
OK, promise you'll call me as soon
as you hear what the doctor says.
254
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:31,118
OK, promise you'll call me as soon
as you hear what the doctor says.
255
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:31,159
I promise.
256
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:32,619
I promise.
257
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:36,623
Oh! (Groans)
258
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,667
Oh! (Groans)
259
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:39,751
It's OK, honey.
260
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,295
It's OK, honey.
261
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:44,840
(Blows a kiss)
262
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,425
(Blows a kiss)
263
00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:46,466
I'll be at Hoffman's department
store today from 1:00 to 3:00
264
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:51,388
I'll be at Hoffman's department
store today from 1:00 to 3:00
265
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:51,430
signing autographs,
giving tips on how to be fabulous.
266
00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:54,850
signing autographs,
giving tips on how to be fabulous.
267
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:55,934
Be sure and stop by!
268
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,519
Be sure and stop by!
269
00:07:59,688 --> 00:07:59,730
Oh, Teddy, I feel as if
I finally found my calling,
270
00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:02,566
Oh, Teddy, I feel as if
I finally found my calling,
271
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:02,608
that God has appointed me from above
to do his work below.
272
00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:06,570
that God has appointed me from above
to do his work below.
273
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:06,612
Saint Emmett!
274
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,155
Saint Emmett!
275
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:08,197
Patron saint of the
fashion-impoverished,
276
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,741
Patron saint of the
fashion-impoverished,
277
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:10,782
the style-deprived....
278
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,326
the style-deprived....
279
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:12,367
You laugh, but there
is something almost holy
280
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:15,287
You laugh, but there
is something almost holy
281
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:15,329
about saving the thousands
of walking disasters in this town.
282
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,332
about saving the thousands
of walking disasters in this town.
283
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:18,373
(Chuckles)
284
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,875
(Chuckles)
285
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:19,917
Of which he is definitely not one.
286
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,461
Of which he is definitely not one.
287
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:28,133
Can you believe that guy?
288
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,718
Can you believe that guy?
289
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:29,760
Walked right by,
didn't even recognise me.
290
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,261
Walked right by,
didn't even recognise me.
291
00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:32,804
But I recognise him.
292
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,348
But I recognise him.
293
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:34,389
Is he someone?
294
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,016
Is he someone?
295
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:36,058
Oh, he's someone alright.
296
00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:38,310
Oh, he's someone alright.
297
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:42,814
Pride, 2002.
298
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,858
Pride, 2002.
299
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:44,900
We had amazing sex...
300
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,527
We had amazing sex...
301
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:46,568
..at least, I thought so.
302
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,028
..at least, I thought so.
303
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:48,070
Then, the next day,
304
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:49,780
Then, the next day,
305
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:49,821
I met him at Woody's.
306
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,573
I met him at Woody's.
307
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:51,615
He told me once a year
he finds some loser guy...
308
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:54,368
He told me once a year
he finds some loser guy...
309
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:54,409
Like you. And I give him a break.
310
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:57,120
Like you. And I give him a break.
311
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:57,162
I give him...I give him me,
312
00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,957
I give him...I give him me,
313
00:08:59,957 --> 00:08:59,998
the fuck of his life.
314
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,125
the fuck of his life.
315
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:02,167
You know,
something he can remember,
316
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,127
You know,
something he can remember,
317
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:04,169
much like a souvenir.
318
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,296
much like a souvenir.
319
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:06,338
It's my way of giving back
to the community.
320
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:09,633
It's my way of giving back
to the community.
321
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:09,675
Teddy, that was aeons ago!
322
00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:12,261
Teddy, that was aeons ago!
323
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:12,302
Look at you now -
324
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,846
Look at you now -
325
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:13,887
thin, gorgeous,
guys falling all over you.
326
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,889
thin, gorgeous,
guys falling all over you.
327
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:15,931
It was the single most
humiliating experience of my life.
328
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:18,141
It was the single most
humiliating experience of my life.
329
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:18,183
Everybody called me...
330
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,685
Everybody called me...
331
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:21,520
..Aunt Pityfuck.
332
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,021
..Aunt Pityfuck.
333
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:24,231
Well, as painful as it may have been,
334
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,191
Well, as painful as it may have been,
335
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:26,233
you just have to let it go.
336
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,402
you just have to let it go.
337
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:37,160
Or get even.
338
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,662
Or get even.
339
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:42,833
I'm not gonna make him nervous!
340
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,459
I'm not gonna make him nervous!
341
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:44,501
I'll sit in the back,
he won't even know I'm there.
342
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,670
I'll sit in the back,
he won't even know I'm there.
343
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:48,338
I just wanna see him in action.
344
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,923
I just wanna see him in action.
345
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:49,965
We'll stop by the store afterwards.
I'll take you both to dinner.
346
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:53,760
We'll stop by the store afterwards.
I'll take you both to dinner.
347
00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:57,598
Love.
348
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,308
Love.
349
00:09:59,308 --> 00:09:59,349
(Mutters) Oh, God.
350
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,351
(Mutters) Oh, God.
351
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:02,436
Callie?
352
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,021
Callie?
353
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:04,062
It's Ben.
354
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,064
It's Ben.
355
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:06,106
Mr Bruckner! I know - Hunter's dad.
356
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,317
Mr Bruckner! I know - Hunter's dad.
357
00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:08,358
I came to watch him debate.
358
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,444
I came to watch him debate.
359
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:10,485
Which way is the auditorium?
Uh...
360
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,070
Which way is the auditorium?
Uh...
361
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:12,112
As you go in, it's on the right.
362
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,531
As you go in, it's on the right.
363
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:14,573
Ah.
364
00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:16,200
Ah.
365
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:16,241
(Laughs)
366
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,035
(Laughs)
367
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:18,076
But I don't think there's a debate.
368
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,329
But I don't think there's a debate.
369
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:21,830
They've got a chorus practice.
370
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,916
They've got a chorus practice.
371
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:25,000
(Laughs) Are you sure?
372
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,502
(Laughs) Are you sure?
373
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:30,964
Is Hunter OK?
374
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,425
Is Hunter OK?
375
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:33,467
He hasn't been in school all week.
376
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,761
He hasn't been in school all week.
377
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:35,802
Oh, he's fine. I guess
I must have misunderstood him.
378
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:40,516
Oh, he's fine. I guess
I must have misunderstood him.
379
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:49,107
This pink striped shirt
will look fab under this jacket,
380
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:52,444
This pink striped shirt
will look fab under this jacket,
381
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:52,486
and...oh, oh, oh!
382
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,571
and...oh, oh, oh!
383
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:54,613
And see how this tie
really makes it pop?
384
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:59,159
And see how this tie
really makes it pop?
385
00:10:59,159 --> 00:10:59,201
Frankly, I don't care
what clothes Irwin wears.
386
00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:01,119
Frankly, I don't care
what clothes Irwin wears.
387
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:01,161
He took your advice from
the other night and shaved his head,
388
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,580
He took your advice from
the other night and shaved his head,
389
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:03,622
you know, he embraced his baldness.
390
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,707
you know, he embraced his baldness.
391
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:05,749
Now I barely let him
out of the bedroom!
392
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:08,126
Now I barely let him
out of the bedroom!
393
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:08,168
I can't tell you
how much it warms my heart
394
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,171
I can't tell you
how much it warms my heart
395
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:11,213
to know I'm keeping heteros horny!
396
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:12,798
to know I'm keeping heteros horny!
397
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:12,840
(All laugh)
OK.
398
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,341
(All laugh)
OK.
399
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:14,383
Alright, be back in five!
It's tinkle time!
400
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,552
Alright, be back in five!
It's tinkle time!
401
00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:16,593
(All chuckle)
WOMAN: 'Bye!
402
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,095
(All chuckle)
WOMAN: 'Bye!
403
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:18,136
You are a superstar!
Oh, shh.
404
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:20,597
You are a superstar!
Oh, shh.
405
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:20,639
Look at this crowd!
406
00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,266
Look at this crowd!
407
00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:22,307
Yeah, second only to when the Stones
played Three Rivers Stadium.
408
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,601
Yeah, second only to when the Stones
played Three Rivers Stadium.
409
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:28,772
Brian!
410
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,357
Brian!
411
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:30,399
I can't tell you what it means
that you'd show up to support me.
412
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:33,235
I can't tell you what it means
that you'd show up to support me.
413
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:33,277
Well...needed socks.
414
00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:35,529
Well...needed socks.
415
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:35,571
Don't pay any attention to him.
He's as proud of you as we are.
416
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:38,490
Don't pay any attention to him.
He's as proud of you as we are.
417
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:38,532
Aren't you?
(Laughs)
418
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,200
Aren't you?
(Laughs)
419
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:40,242
Yeah, it's an honour to count among
our close personal friends
420
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:43,120
Yeah, it's an honour to count among
our close personal friends
421
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:43,161
television's latest gay eunuch.
422
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:45,539
television's latest gay eunuch.
423
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:45,581
Excuse me?
424
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:47,541
Excuse me?
425
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:47,583
You know, as in non-sexual,
non-threatening...
426
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:53,422
You know, as in non-sexual,
non-threatening...
427
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:53,463
Ball-less.
428
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,257
Ball-less.
429
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:55,299
You do homage to a long
and illustrious line
430
00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:58,927
You do homage to a long
and illustrious line
431
00:11:58,927 --> 00:11:58,969
of lovable, laughable clowns
who've come before you.
432
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:02,681
of lovable, laughable clowns
who've come before you.
433
00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:02,723
Why, just look at all these people!
434
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,808
Why, just look at all these people!
435
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:06,602
They're my fans.
436
00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:08,228
They're my fans.
437
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:08,270
They adore me.
438
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,813
They adore me.
439
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:09,855
Because you're so cute!
440
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,648
Because you're so cute!
441
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:13,233
But do you think they'd
still adore you
442
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,319
But do you think they'd
still adore you
443
00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:15,360
if they knew you took it up the ass
and liked it?
444
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,822
if they knew you took it up the ass
and liked it?
445
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:18,864
Like I said, Brian -
446
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:21,533
Like I said, Brian -
447
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:21,575
I can't tell you what it means
that you'd show up to support me.
448
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:24,369
I can't tell you what it means
that you'd show up to support me.
449
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:26,538
Any time.
450
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,707
Any time.
451
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:30,042
I just love you. You're so cute!
452
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,628
I just love you. You're so cute!
453
00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:32,669
Thank you. Thank you.
Ma'am, step back, please.
454
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,588
Thank you. Thank you.
Ma'am, step back, please.
455
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:40,219
He's been lying to us?
456
00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:42,221
He's been lying to us?
457
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:42,262
I'm sure there's a reason.
458
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,932
I'm sure there's a reason.
459
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:44,973
I didn't say a good reason.
460
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,517
I didn't say a good reason.
461
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:46,558
But I thought he trusted us,
that, you know,
462
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:49,019
But I thought he trusted us,
that, you know,
463
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:49,061
he told us everything!
464
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:50,604
he told us everything!
465
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:50,646
Did you tell your mother everything
when you were 17?
466
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:52,689
Did you tell your mother everything
when you were 17?
467
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:52,731
I didn't have to. There were
hidden monitors in every room.
468
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:55,234
I didn't have to. There were
hidden monitors in every room.
469
00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:55,275
She had a homing device implanted
in my brain soon after birth -
470
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:59,071
She had a homing device implanted
in my brain soon after birth -
471
00:12:59,071 --> 00:12:59,112
it's the only explanation
how she automatically knew.
472
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,281
it's the only explanation
how she automatically knew.
473
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:01,323
Here...here he comes.
474
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:02,866
Here...here he comes.
475
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:02,908
Now, let's try not to let
our emotions run amok.
476
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:05,244
Now, let's try not to let
our emotions run amok.
477
00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:05,285
That's easy for you to say -
478
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,828
That's easy for you to say -
479
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:06,870
you come from a long line
of repressed alcoholics.
480
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,872
you come from a long line
of repressed alcoholics.
481
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:08,914
(Scoffs)
482
00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:10,457
(Scoffs)
483
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:10,499
Sorry I'm late.
I was in debate club.
484
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:12,876
Sorry I'm late.
I was in debate club.
485
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:12,918
This week's topic is...
'Secrets and lies'?
486
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:16,296
This week's topic is...
'Secrets and lies'?
487
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:17,965
We know you haven't
been in school all week.
488
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,800
We know you haven't
been in school all week.
489
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:24,763
DOOR OPENS, CLOSES
490
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,266
DOOR OPENS, CLOSES
491
00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:27,307
Better.
492
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,767
Better.
493
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:31,228
Would you just leave me
the fuck alone?
494
00:13:31,228 --> 00:13:32,896
Would you just leave me
the fuck alone?
495
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:32,938
I told you, I don't want
to talk about it.
496
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,982
I told you, I don't want
to talk about it.
497
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:35,023
We have to talk about it.
We wanna help you.
498
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,985
We have to talk about it.
We wanna help you.
499
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:38,026
You can't help me.
Nobody can help me. It's too late.
500
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,737
You can't help me.
Nobody can help me. It's too late.
501
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:40,779
It's never too late.
502
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,281
It's never too late.
503
00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:42,322
I know it's been a tough few weeks...
504
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,074
I know it's been a tough few weeks...
505
00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:44,116
Try years.
506
00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:46,201
Try years.
507
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:46,243
OK. OK, but there's
gotta be a solution.
508
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,370
OK. OK, but there's
gotta be a solution.
509
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:48,412
I can't go back to that school.
510
00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:50,789
I can't go back to that school.
511
00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:50,831
Everybody just stares at me
like I'm a piece of shit,
512
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,250
Everybody just stares at me
like I'm a piece of shit,
513
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:53,292
and when they do, that's how I feel.
514
00:13:53,292 --> 00:13:54,918
and when they do, that's how I feel.
515
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:54,960
You're not a piece of shit!
516
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,503
You're not a piece of shit!
517
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:56,545
You're a brave, smart,
funny, wonderful person.
518
00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:59,298
You're a brave, smart,
funny, wonderful person.
519
00:13:59,298 --> 00:13:59,339
And you're our son!
And we love you!
520
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,091
And you're our son!
And we love you!
521
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:01,133
And you don't have to lie to us.
We know what you're going through.
522
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,927
And you don't have to lie to us.
We know what you're going through.
523
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:05,012
You have no idea.
524
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,513
You have no idea.
525
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:08,182
FOOTSTEPS RECEDE, DOOR SLAMS
526
00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:11,810
FOOTSTEPS RECEDE, DOOR SLAMS
527
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:11,852
How about a barbecue grill?
528
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,312
How about a barbecue grill?
529
00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:17,357
Or maybe fireplace tools.
530
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,234
Or maybe fireplace tools.
531
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:19,276
What do you think?
532
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:20,819
What do you think?
533
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:20,861
I think if you don't
stop talking about
534
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,446
I think if you don't
stop talking about
535
00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:22,487
their goddamn house-warming gift,
536
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,031
their goddamn house-warming gift,
537
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:24,072
I'm gonna burn their
fucking place down.
538
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,490
I'm gonna burn their
fucking place down.
539
00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:27,784
Another round.
What's your problem?
540
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,953
Another round.
What's your problem?
541
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:29,995
I have no problem.
542
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:32,039
I have no problem.
543
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:32,080
I am problem-less.
544
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,333
I am problem-less.
545
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:34,374
A problem-free zone.
546
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,543
A problem-free zone.
547
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:36,585
Then help me pick something out.
548
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,086
Then help me pick something out.
549
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:38,128
(Sighs)
550
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,214
(Sighs)
551
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:44,760
(Laughs humourlessly)
A hands-free toilet.
552
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,387
(Laughs humourlessly)
A hands-free toilet.
553
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:47,429
"It senses you are there
and automatically flushes."
554
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:50,349
"It senses you are there
and automatically flushes."
555
00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:50,390
Yeah!
556
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,309
Yeah!
557
00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:52,351
300 bucks down the crapper.
558
00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:54,811
300 bucks down the crapper.
559
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:54,853
Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?
560
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,355
Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?
561
00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:56,396
No.
562
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,398
No.
563
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:58,440
Fine.
564
00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,900
Fine.
565
00:15:10,244 --> 00:15:10,285
(Tuts) Anyway.
566
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:12,120
(Tuts) Anyway.
567
00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:13,539
You wouldn't understand.
568
00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:15,040
You wouldn't understand.
569
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:16,124
I'll show you my SAT scores.
570
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,751
I'll show you my SAT scores.
571
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:20,003
You're too young.
572
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,547
You're too young.
573
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:21,588
Compared to who?
574
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,423
Compared to who?
575
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:23,465
'Whom'.
You?
576
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,008
'Whom'.
You?
577
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:28,929
That hot guy I followed
into the back room the other night?
578
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:32,182
That hot guy I followed
into the back room the other night?
579
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:32,224
What about him?
580
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:34,601
What about him?
581
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:34,643
When I went for his cock...
582
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:36,937
When I went for his cock...
583
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:39,731
(Laughs) Never mind.
584
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,942
(Laughs) Never mind.
585
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:41,984
Would you just say it?
586
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,443
Would you just say it?
587
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:46,238
My hand...
588
00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:47,823
My hand...
589
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:47,865
Your hand...
590
00:15:47,865 --> 00:15:49,283
Your hand...
591
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:50,951
What?
592
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:51,910
What?
593
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:56,248
(Scoffs)
594
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:57,749
(Scoffs)
595
00:15:59,042 --> 00:15:59,084
If it's any comfort, you're still
the hottest guy in Pittsburgh.
596
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:02,129
If it's any comfort, you're still
the hottest guy in Pittsburgh.
597
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:04,256
Now help me out here.
We can't show up without a gift.
598
00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:06,884
Now help me out here.
We can't show up without a gift.
599
00:16:06,884 --> 00:16:06,925
I'm not going to their fucking party.
600
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:09,052
I'm not going to their fucking party.
601
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:09,094
Why not?
602
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,095
Why not?
603
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:10,137
Because I'm going to a FUCKING party.
604
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,055
Because I'm going to a FUCKING party.
605
00:16:15,309 --> 00:16:15,350
GROANING AND YELLING
606
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,937
GROANING AND YELLING
607
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:18,979
Stop it! It hurts!
608
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:21,607
Stop it! It hurts!
609
00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:21,648
Come on, Carl, take it like a man.
610
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,985
Come on, Carl, take it like a man.
611
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:25,027
(Groans and grunts)
Jesus, you're killing me!
612
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,529
(Groans and grunts)
Jesus, you're killing me!
613
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:27,571
What the hell's going on?
614
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,114
What the hell's going on?
615
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:29,156
Arggh!
(Sighs in relief)
616
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:31,408
Arggh!
(Sighs in relief)
617
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:31,450
Carl's letting me practise waxing
his back for an upcoming segment.
618
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:34,203
Carl's letting me practise waxing
his back for an upcoming segment.
619
00:16:34,203 --> 00:16:34,244
Christ.
620
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:35,871
Christ.
621
00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:35,913
I thought you were practising
something else.
622
00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:38,207
I thought you were practising
something else.
623
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:38,248
OK, that's it. I...I've had it.
624
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:40,792
OK, that's it. I...I've had it.
625
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:40,834
You're only half-waxed.
626
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,461
You're only half-waxed.
627
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:42,503
Yeah, and if you go down
any further, I'll be half-assed.
628
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:45,047
Yeah, and if you go down
any further, I'll be half-assed.
629
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:47,883
How about you, Deb? You want me
to give you a landing strip?
630
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:50,594
How about you, Deb? You want me
to give you a landing strip?
631
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:50,636
Thanks, but I prefer to keep
the entire airport.
632
00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:54,598
Thanks, but I prefer to keep
the entire airport.
633
00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:54,640
You got a temperature?
634
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,350
You got a temperature?
635
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:56,391
No. Damn it!
636
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,393
No. Damn it!
637
00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:01,355
What did the new doctor say?
638
00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:02,981
What did the new doctor say?
639
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:03,023
He said I'm dying...
of perfect health.
640
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,776
He said I'm dying...
of perfect health.
641
00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:05,817
Wise-ass.
642
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,236
Wise-ass.
643
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:08,320
Maybe this will bring down my fever.
644
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,280
Maybe this will bring down my fever.
645
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:10,322
You just said
you don't have a fever.
646
00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,991
You just said
you don't have a fever.
647
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:13,033
That's what the thermometer said.
I know I'm burning up.
648
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,994
That's what the thermometer said.
I know I'm burning up.
649
00:17:25,671 --> 00:17:25,712
Deb, do you...think
I'm physically attractive?
650
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:29,049
Deb, do you...think
I'm physically attractive?
651
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:29,091
You know...sexy?
652
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:31,218
You know...sexy?
653
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:31,260
Well...
654
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:33,637
Well...
655
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:33,679
Keeping in mind that I'm a
heterosexual woman of a certain age,
656
00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:37,224
Keeping in mind that I'm a
heterosexual woman of a certain age,
657
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:37,266
and you're queer as they come...
658
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:39,601
and you're queer as they come...
659
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:39,643
..fuck, yeah.
660
00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:41,103
..fuck, yeah.
661
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:41,144
Good.
662
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,688
Good.
663
00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:42,729
Because Brian said the only reason
people like the Queer Guy
664
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:46,149
Because Brian said the only reason
people like the Queer Guy
665
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:46,191
is because I'm non-threatening,
sexless, a...eunuch.
666
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:49,611
is because I'm non-threatening,
sexless, a...eunuch.
667
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:49,653
What the fuck's he know?
668
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:51,154
What the fuck's he know?
669
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:51,196
Actually, a lot.
670
00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:53,198
Actually, a lot.
671
00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:53,240
Yeah? Well, he's wrong.
672
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,783
Yeah? Well, he's wrong.
673
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:54,825
Hell, you have more sex
than anyone I know.
674
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:57,744
Hell, you have more sex
than anyone I know.
675
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:57,786
Except me, of course...
676
00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,788
Except me, of course...
677
00:17:59,788 --> 00:17:59,830
..since Carl moved in.
678
00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:01,498
..since Carl moved in.
679
00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:03,333
Let's face it, honey,
680
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,169
Let's face it, honey,
681
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:05,210
most viewers don't want
to think about gays having sex.
682
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,921
most viewers don't want
to think about gays having sex.
683
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:07,963
I mean, the thought
of two guys kissing -
684
00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,923
I mean, the thought
of two guys kissing -
685
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:09,965
much less, um...you know,
taking it up the ass -
686
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:14,261
much less, um...you know,
taking it up the ass -
687
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:14,303
it just makes them uncomfortable.
688
00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:16,430
it just makes them uncomfortable.
689
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:16,471
Brian said that too.
690
00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:18,807
Brian said that too.
691
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:20,976
Well, you know something?
692
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:23,478
Well, you know something?
693
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:23,520
It's time they got over it.
694
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,272
It's time they got over it.
695
00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:43,373
Mind spotting me?
696
00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,042
Mind spotting me?
697
00:18:45,042 --> 00:18:45,083
Sure.
698
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,627
Sure.
699
00:19:00,349 --> 00:19:00,390
Don't I know you?
700
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,892
Don't I know you?
701
00:19:02,935 --> 00:19:02,976
I don't think so.
702
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,478
I don't think so.
703
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:06,313
I'm Troy.
704
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,814
I'm Troy.
705
00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:08,899
Teddy.
706
00:19:08,899 --> 00:19:10,442
Teddy.
707
00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:13,737
Hey, I know where I know you from.
708
00:19:13,737 --> 00:19:16,865
Hey, I know where I know you from.
709
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:16,907
You do?
710
00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:18,408
You do?
711
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:18,450
South Beach, right?
712
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:19,952
South Beach, right?
713
00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:19,993
We hooked up.
714
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:21,453
We hooked up.
715
00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:22,538
Nope. Never been there.
716
00:19:22,538 --> 00:19:25,249
Nope. Never been there.
717
00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:25,290
Oh.
718
00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,792
Oh.
719
00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:26,834
Well, would you like to?
720
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,293
Well, would you like to?
721
00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:29,753
Go to South Beach?
722
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,338
Go to South Beach?
723
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:31,380
Hook up.
724
00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:32,840
Hook up.
725
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:43,475
Sure.
726
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:45,561
Sure.
727
00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:45,602
And in our research we've found
728
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,145
And in our research we've found
729
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:47,187
that once a woman
reaches the age of 35,
730
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,273
that once a woman
reaches the age of 35,
731
00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:49,314
she's all but invisible to most men.
732
00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:52,025
she's all but invisible to most men.
733
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:52,067
And you want to make them
visible again.
734
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:54,403
And you want to make them
visible again.
735
00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:55,904
Or at least make them think
that they can be.
736
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:58,949
Or at least make them think
that they can be.
737
00:19:58,949 --> 00:19:58,991
Our new anti-ageing cream
offers hope,
738
00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:00,951
Our new anti-ageing cream
offers hope,
739
00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:00,993
more confidence
and a few less wrinkles.
740
00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:02,995
more confidence
and a few less wrinkles.
741
00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:03,036
All we need is a brilliant campaign
and a perfect product name.
742
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:06,164
All we need is a brilliant campaign
and a perfect product name.
743
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:07,875
Um... Sure I can
come up with something.
744
00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:11,003
Um... Sure I can
come up with something.
745
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:13,172
You men are so damn lucky you never
have to worry about such things.
746
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:17,009
You men are so damn lucky you never
have to worry about such things.
747
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:21,597
Don't be so sure.
748
00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:23,265
Don't be so sure.
749
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:29,021
Visible.
750
00:20:29,021 --> 00:20:30,522
Visible.
751
00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:31,607
What?
752
00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:32,858
What?
753
00:20:32,858 --> 00:20:32,900
That's the name of your new product.
754
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:35,277
That's the name of your new product.
755
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:35,319
Visible?
Mmm.
756
00:20:35,319 --> 00:20:37,821
Visible?
Mmm.
757
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:37,863
I like that.
758
00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:39,364
I like that.
759
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:39,406
Visible.
760
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,866
Visible.
761
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:43,285
Hey, you came up with it.
762
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,078
Hey, you came up with it.
763
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:45,120
You just didn't know it.
764
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,622
You just didn't know it.
765
00:20:46,622 --> 00:20:46,663
Would you excuse me for a minute?
Mm-hm.
766
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:48,540
Would you excuse me for a minute?
Mm-hm.
767
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:48,582
FUNKY MUSIC
768
00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:51,627
FUNKY MUSIC
769
00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:54,982
(Clears throat)
770
00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:56,483
(Clears throat)
771
00:21:58,443 --> 00:21:58,485
Aren't you glad your asshole parents
worked through their shit?
772
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:01,989
Aren't you glad your asshole parents
worked through their shit?
773
00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:02,030
(Coos)
Yes.
774
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,490
(Coos)
Yes.
775
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:03,532
'Cause now Grandma can hold you
776
00:22:03,532 --> 00:22:05,701
'Cause now Grandma can hold you
777
00:22:05,701 --> 00:22:05,742
without one of them thinking
I'm a goddamn traitor.
778
00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:08,370
without one of them thinking
I'm a goddamn traitor.
779
00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:08,412
(Cries)
That's right. Ohh.
780
00:22:08,412 --> 00:22:10,789
(Cries)
That's right. Ohh.
781
00:22:10,789 --> 00:22:10,831
Boy, you sure know how
to sweet-talk a baby, Deb.
782
00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:13,917
Boy, you sure know how
to sweet-talk a baby, Deb.
783
00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:13,959
I'm just glad it all worked out.
784
00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:15,586
I'm just glad it all worked out.
785
00:22:15,586 --> 00:22:15,627
Yeah. We'll see.
786
00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:18,088
Yeah. We'll see.
787
00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:18,130
Hey, Kiki,
where the fuck's my check?
788
00:22:18,130 --> 00:22:19,965
Hey, Kiki,
where the fuck's my check?
789
00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:20,007
I already grew tits.
You want me to grow another hand?
790
00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:23,468
I already grew tits.
You want me to grow another hand?
791
00:22:24,887 --> 00:22:24,970
Boy, things aren't quite the same
around here since you left.
792
00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:28,307
Boy, things aren't quite the same
around here since you left.
793
00:22:28,307 --> 00:22:28,348
Boy, so I notice.
794
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:29,808
Boy, so I notice.
795
00:22:30,893 --> 00:22:30,934
MAN: Excuse me. Miss.
MAN 2: This is cold.
796
00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:33,812
MAN: Excuse me. Miss.
MAN 2: This is cold.
797
00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:33,854
I don't know.
798
00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:35,397
I don't know.
799
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:35,439
The way I've been feeling lately, I
barely have the energy to crawl here.
800
00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:39,234
The way I've been feeling lately, I
barely have the energy to crawl here.
801
00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:39,276
Have you been to see a...
802
00:22:39,276 --> 00:22:40,819
Have you been to see a...
803
00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:40,861
Five of them.
All claim to have degrees.
804
00:22:40,861 --> 00:22:42,613
Five of them.
All claim to have degrees.
805
00:22:42,613 --> 00:22:42,654
Not one of them says
they can tell me what's wrong.
806
00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:44,865
Not one of them says
they can tell me what's wrong.
807
00:22:44,865 --> 00:22:44,907
Hey, can we get a menu?
808
00:22:44,907 --> 00:22:46,408
Hey, can we get a menu?
809
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:46,450
I asked for cream.
810
00:22:46,450 --> 00:22:48,160
I asked for cream.
811
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:48,202
Where's my fucking lunch?
812
00:22:48,202 --> 00:22:49,828
Where's my fucking lunch?
813
00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:49,870
Your food is up.
814
00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:51,371
Your food is up.
815
00:22:51,371 --> 00:22:51,413
Ohh.
816
00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:53,165
Ohh.
817
00:22:53,165 --> 00:22:53,207
I'm a trannie on the verge
of a nervous breakdown.
818
00:22:53,207 --> 00:22:56,001
I'm a trannie on the verge
of a nervous breakdown.
819
00:22:57,169 --> 00:22:57,211
Sit down. Calm your nerves.
820
00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:59,213
Sit down. Calm your nerves.
821
00:22:59,213 --> 00:22:59,254
FUNKY MUSIC
822
00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:02,299
FUNKY MUSIC
823
00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:03,592
That's the fish and chips with slaw,
the turkey burger with fries.
824
00:23:03,592 --> 00:23:06,720
That's the fish and chips with slaw,
the turkey burger with fries.
825
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:06,762
Here are your menus.
Specials are on the board.
826
00:23:06,762 --> 00:23:08,889
Here are your menus.
Specials are on the board.
827
00:23:10,224 --> 00:23:10,265
Two percent.
It's better for you than cream.
828
00:23:10,265 --> 00:23:12,684
Two percent.
It's better for you than cream.
829
00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:20,484
Deb, I think I know
what's wrong with you.
830
00:23:20,484 --> 00:23:22,945
Deb, I think I know
what's wrong with you.
831
00:23:22,945 --> 00:23:22,986
Yeah?
832
00:23:22,986 --> 00:23:24,571
Yeah?
833
00:23:24,571 --> 00:23:24,613
BFM.
834
00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:27,699
BFM.
835
00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:27,741
BFM?
836
00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:29,201
BFM?
837
00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:31,620
It sounds serious.
838
00:23:31,620 --> 00:23:33,121
It sounds serious.
839
00:23:34,164 --> 00:23:34,206
What is it?
840
00:23:34,206 --> 00:23:35,791
What is it?
841
00:23:35,791 --> 00:23:35,832
Bored out of your fucking mind.
842
00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:38,794
Bored out of your fucking mind.
843
00:23:42,631 --> 00:23:42,673
Mmm.
844
00:23:42,673 --> 00:23:44,174
Mmm.
845
00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:45,634
Listen up, straight boys.
846
00:23:45,634 --> 00:23:47,511
Listen up, straight boys.
847
00:23:47,511 --> 00:23:47,553
Take a tip from the Queer Guy.
848
00:23:47,553 --> 00:23:49,304
Take a tip from the Queer Guy.
849
00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:49,346
Wearing these will not get you
where you wanna go.
850
00:23:49,346 --> 00:23:52,975
Wearing these will not get you
where you wanna go.
851
00:23:52,975 --> 00:23:53,016
Comprenez-vous?
852
00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:54,476
Comprenez-vous?
853
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:54,518
These, however,
854
00:23:54,518 --> 00:23:56,770
These, however,
855
00:23:56,770 --> 00:23:56,812
will definitely generate
a little friction.
856
00:23:56,812 --> 00:23:59,106
will definitely generate
a little friction.
857
00:23:59,106 --> 00:23:59,147
I know because they happen to be
my very own pair.
858
00:23:59,147 --> 00:24:02,484
I know because they happen to be
my very own pair.
859
00:24:02,484 --> 00:24:02,526
They set off your nice tight...
assets.
860
00:24:02,526 --> 00:24:07,239
They set off your nice tight...
assets.
861
00:24:07,239 --> 00:24:07,281
And notice the pouch in the crotch.
862
00:24:07,281 --> 00:24:11,243
And notice the pouch in the crotch.
863
00:24:11,243 --> 00:24:11,285
If you need a little help, you can
stuff a sock or hamster in there.
864
00:24:11,285 --> 00:24:16,456
If you need a little help, you can
stuff a sock or hamster in there.
865
00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:16,498
I certainly don't need the cavalry
to come to my rescue.
866
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:19,209
I certainly don't need the cavalry
to come to my rescue.
867
00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:19,251
My cup is filled to the rim.
868
00:24:19,251 --> 00:24:21,628
My cup is filled to the rim.
869
00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:21,670
Which leads us to another topic.
870
00:24:21,670 --> 00:24:24,548
Which leads us to another topic.
871
00:24:24,548 --> 00:24:24,590
But not tonight.
872
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:26,091
But not tonight.
873
00:24:26,091 --> 00:24:26,133
I'm the Queer Guy. Be fabulous.
874
00:24:26,133 --> 00:24:29,178
I'm the Queer Guy. Be fabulous.
875
00:24:34,183 --> 00:24:34,224
Thank you, Queer Guy,
for that brief report.
876
00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:37,603
Thank you, Queer Guy,
for that brief report.
877
00:24:37,603 --> 00:24:37,644
That's the news.
We'll be back at 11:00.
878
00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,897
That's the news.
We'll be back at 11:00.
879
00:24:39,897 --> 00:24:39,938
MAN: We're out.
880
00:24:39,938 --> 00:24:41,398
MAN: We're out.
881
00:24:43,692 --> 00:24:43,734
I thought you told me you were
gonna talk about hair-waxing.
882
00:24:43,734 --> 00:24:47,362
I thought you told me you were
gonna talk about hair-waxing.
883
00:24:47,362 --> 00:24:47,404
Well, yeah, waxing is vital,
but it's not sexy.
884
00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:50,532
Well, yeah, waxing is vital,
but it's not sexy.
885
00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:50,574
Sexy? Who wants sexy?
886
00:24:50,574 --> 00:24:53,285
Sexy? Who wants sexy?
887
00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:53,327
Don, you've only been married
a few weeks
888
00:24:53,327 --> 00:24:55,162
Don, you've only been married
a few weeks
889
00:24:55,162 --> 00:24:55,204
and already you can make
a statement like that?
890
00:24:55,204 --> 00:24:57,122
and already you can make
a statement like that?
891
00:24:57,122 --> 00:24:57,164
You may need counselling.
892
00:24:57,164 --> 00:24:58,707
You may need counselling.
893
00:24:58,707 --> 00:24:58,749
And you may need
unemployment insurance.
894
00:24:58,749 --> 00:25:00,292
And you may need
unemployment insurance.
895
00:25:01,752 --> 00:25:01,793
What?
896
00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:03,378
What?
897
00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:03,420
Don't ever show us your...
shorts again.
898
00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:08,383
Don't ever show us your...
shorts again.
899
00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:08,425
It's just underwear.
900
00:25:08,425 --> 00:25:10,093
It's just underwear.
901
00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:10,135
You don't have to air them
in public.
902
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:11,762
You don't have to air them
in public.
903
00:25:11,762 --> 00:25:11,803
And no-one wants to know
that you have a tight...
904
00:25:11,803 --> 00:25:14,348
And no-one wants to know
that you have a tight...
905
00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:17,684
Ass?
906
00:25:17,684 --> 00:25:19,061
Ass?
907
00:25:19,061 --> 00:25:19,102
Or a big...
Dick?
908
00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:21,313
Or a big...
Dick?
909
00:25:21,313 --> 00:25:21,355
And that you...
Fuck?
910
00:25:21,355 --> 00:25:23,190
And that you...
Fuck?
911
00:25:23,190 --> 00:25:23,232
Well, here's a piece
of news for you - I do.
912
00:25:23,232 --> 00:25:26,360
Well, here's a piece
of news for you - I do.
913
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:26,401
Well, from now on,
stick to cooking and flowers
914
00:25:26,401 --> 00:25:28,695
Well, from now on,
stick to cooking and flowers
915
00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:28,737
and turning straight guys
into metrosexuals,
916
00:25:28,737 --> 00:25:30,614
and turning straight guys
into metrosexuals,
917
00:25:30,614 --> 00:25:30,656
and leave your sex life offscreen.
918
00:25:30,656 --> 00:25:33,242
and leave your sex life offscreen.
919
00:25:35,244 --> 00:25:35,285
Get McGregor on the phone now.
920
00:25:35,285 --> 00:25:36,954
Get McGregor on the phone now.
921
00:25:39,790 --> 00:25:39,831
MAN: We could turn off
the back light, yeah.
922
00:25:39,831 --> 00:25:42,000
MAN: We could turn off
the back light, yeah.
923
00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:45,337
You can stay for at least an hour.
924
00:25:45,337 --> 00:25:47,214
You can stay for at least an hour.
925
00:25:47,214 --> 00:25:47,256
I told you, I'm making
a special guest appearance
926
00:25:47,256 --> 00:25:49,216
I told you, I'm making
a special guest appearance
927
00:25:49,216 --> 00:25:49,258
then I'm out of here.
928
00:25:49,258 --> 00:25:50,759
then I'm out of here.
929
00:25:50,759 --> 00:25:50,801
It's for Michael.
930
00:25:50,801 --> 00:25:51,844
It's for Michael.
931
00:25:51,844 --> 00:25:51,885
He should understand
better than anyone.
932
00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:53,554
He should understand
better than anyone.
933
00:25:53,554 --> 00:25:53,595
The first rule of going to
a sex party is don't come late,
934
00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:56,223
The first rule of going to
a sex party is don't come late,
935
00:25:56,223 --> 00:25:56,265
otherwise you may not come at all.
936
00:25:56,265 --> 00:25:57,808
otherwise you may not come at all.
937
00:25:57,808 --> 00:25:57,850
Well, that certainly gives
new meaning to
938
00:25:57,850 --> 00:25:59,309
Well, that certainly gives
new meaning to
939
00:25:59,309 --> 00:25:59,351
"the early bird catches the worm."
940
00:25:59,351 --> 00:26:01,186
"the early bird catches the worm."
941
00:26:01,186 --> 00:26:01,228
Hi. I'm glad you could come.
942
00:26:01,228 --> 00:26:04,481
Hi. I'm glad you could come.
943
00:26:05,774 --> 00:26:05,816
It's all I've been living for.
944
00:26:05,816 --> 00:26:07,401
It's all I've been living for.
945
00:26:07,401 --> 00:26:07,442
Happy house-warming.
946
00:26:07,442 --> 00:26:08,986
Happy house-warming.
947
00:26:11,989 --> 00:26:12,030
Is it a harness and paddle
to go with the sling?
948
00:26:12,030 --> 00:26:14,408
Is it a harness and paddle
to go with the sling?
949
00:26:14,408 --> 00:26:14,449
No. I picked this one.
950
00:26:14,449 --> 00:26:15,909
No. I picked this one.
951
00:26:18,829 --> 00:26:18,871
You guys have done a great job.
952
00:26:18,871 --> 00:26:20,414
You guys have done a great job.
953
00:26:20,414 --> 00:26:20,455
Oh, we're not through.
954
00:26:20,455 --> 00:26:21,957
Oh, we're not through.
955
00:26:21,957 --> 00:26:21,999
Trust me, you're never through.
956
00:26:21,999 --> 00:26:23,500
Trust me, you're never through.
957
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:23,542
All it takes is time.
958
00:26:23,542 --> 00:26:25,335
All it takes is time.
959
00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:25,377
And money.
960
00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:26,879
And money.
961
00:26:26,879 --> 00:26:26,920
Yeah, tell me about it.
962
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,422
Yeah, tell me about it.
963
00:26:28,422 --> 00:26:28,463
OK, say something for posterity.
964
00:26:28,463 --> 00:26:31,216
OK, say something for posterity.
965
00:26:31,216 --> 00:26:31,258
I'm fucking starving.
966
00:26:31,258 --> 00:26:33,093
I'm fucking starving.
967
00:26:33,093 --> 00:26:33,135
(All laugh)
968
00:26:33,135 --> 00:26:34,303
(All laugh)
969
00:26:34,303 --> 00:26:34,344
Oh. Shit.
970
00:26:34,344 --> 00:26:35,888
Oh. Shit.
971
00:26:35,888 --> 00:26:35,929
It's OK, Deb,
I wanted something for posterity.
972
00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:38,765
It's OK, Deb,
I wanted something for posterity.
973
00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:38,807
Um... (Clears throat)
974
00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:40,684
Um... (Clears throat)
975
00:26:40,684 --> 00:26:40,726
Posterity.
976
00:26:40,726 --> 00:26:42,227
Posterity.
977
00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:42,269
Now, let's see.
978
00:26:42,269 --> 00:26:43,729
Now, let's see.
979
00:26:45,022 --> 00:26:45,063
I'm very proud of you both
980
00:26:45,063 --> 00:26:47,065
I'm very proud of you both
981
00:26:47,065 --> 00:26:47,107
and I wish you all the health
and happiness in the world
982
00:26:47,107 --> 00:26:51,028
and I wish you all the health
and happiness in the world
983
00:26:51,028 --> 00:26:51,069
in your beautiful new home.
984
00:26:51,069 --> 00:26:52,654
in your beautiful new home.
985
00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:53,739
How's that?
986
00:26:53,739 --> 00:26:55,157
How's that?
987
00:26:55,157 --> 00:26:55,199
Perfect.
988
00:26:55,199 --> 00:26:56,658
Perfect.
989
00:26:59,119 --> 00:26:59,161
It's amazing what the gays have done
with this neighbourhood.
990
00:26:59,161 --> 00:27:02,247
It's amazing what the gays have done
with this neighbourhood.
991
00:27:02,247 --> 00:27:02,289
It used to be whorehouses
and bookie joints.
992
00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:04,416
It used to be whorehouses
and bookie joints.
993
00:27:04,416 --> 00:27:04,458
I know. I used to hang out here
all the time.
994
00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:06,710
I know. I used to hang out here
all the time.
995
00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:06,752
Really?
DOORBELL RINGS
996
00:27:06,752 --> 00:27:08,212
Really?
DOORBELL RINGS
997
00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:08,253
When I was a beat cop.
998
00:27:08,253 --> 00:27:09,755
When I was a beat cop.
999
00:27:09,755 --> 00:27:09,796
I'll get it.
1000
00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:11,298
I'll get it.
1001
00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:15,052
Hi. Come on in.
1002
00:27:15,052 --> 00:27:16,637
Hi. Come on in.
1003
00:27:16,637 --> 00:27:16,678
Hey, honey bun.
1004
00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:18,138
Hey, honey bun.
1005
00:27:19,223 --> 00:27:19,264
Thanks for inviting me,
1006
00:27:19,264 --> 00:27:21,058
Thanks for inviting me,
1007
00:27:21,058 --> 00:27:21,099
even though...I mean...
1008
00:27:21,099 --> 00:27:23,810
even though...I mean...
1009
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:23,852
We're still family, aren't we?
1010
00:27:23,852 --> 00:27:25,562
We're still family, aren't we?
1011
00:27:28,023 --> 00:27:28,065
Happy new house.
1012
00:27:28,065 --> 00:27:29,650
Happy new house.
1013
00:27:29,650 --> 00:27:29,691
Thanks.
Do you mind if I show her off?
1014
00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:31,735
Thanks.
Do you mind if I show her off?
1015
00:27:31,735 --> 00:27:31,777
Be my guest.
1016
00:27:31,777 --> 00:27:33,237
Be my guest.
1017
00:27:35,614 --> 00:27:35,656
Everyone, meet my beautiful daughter.
1018
00:27:35,656 --> 00:27:38,450
Everyone, meet my beautiful daughter.
1019
00:27:38,450 --> 00:27:38,492
ALL: Aww.
1020
00:27:38,492 --> 00:27:41,286
ALL: Aww.
1021
00:27:41,286 --> 00:27:41,328
Hi, baby.
1022
00:27:41,328 --> 00:27:43,288
Hi, baby.
1023
00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:43,330
Ah, look who it is.
1024
00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:44,957
Ah, look who it is.
1025
00:27:47,292 --> 00:27:47,334
First I'm gonna give him
the fucking of his life
1026
00:27:47,334 --> 00:27:49,419
First I'm gonna give him
the fucking of his life
1027
00:27:49,419 --> 00:27:49,461
and then I'm gonna give him
the mindfucking of his life.
1028
00:27:49,461 --> 00:27:51,713
and then I'm gonna give him
the mindfucking of his life.
1029
00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:51,755
I'm gonna say,
"Once I was your pity fuck,
1030
00:27:51,755 --> 00:27:53,590
I'm gonna say,
"Once I was your pity fuck,
1031
00:27:53,590 --> 00:27:53,632
"but tonight you're mine,
you arrogant asshole."
1032
00:27:53,632 --> 00:27:55,717
"but tonight you're mine,
you arrogant asshole."
1033
00:27:55,717 --> 00:27:55,759
(Laughs) Speaking of which...
1034
00:27:55,759 --> 00:27:58,512
(Laughs) Speaking of which...
1035
00:27:58,512 --> 00:27:58,554
Aren't you two aunties gonna go
ooh and ahh over the baby?
1036
00:27:58,554 --> 00:28:01,515
Aren't you two aunties gonna go
ooh and ahh over the baby?
1037
00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:04,476
Caught your underpants on the news
the other night.
1038
00:28:04,476 --> 00:28:06,603
Caught your underpants on the news
the other night.
1039
00:28:07,938 --> 00:28:07,980
You saving your dick for sweeps?
1040
00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:10,065
You saving your dick for sweeps?
1041
00:28:10,065 --> 00:28:10,107
My producer happened to think
it was a terrific segment.
1042
00:28:10,107 --> 00:28:12,734
My producer happened to think
it was a terrific segment.
1043
00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:12,776
Yeah, he said it was about time
1044
00:28:12,776 --> 00:28:15,028
Yeah, he said it was about time
1045
00:28:15,028 --> 00:28:15,070
we saw gay people
as full sexualised human beings,
1046
00:28:15,070 --> 00:28:17,906
we saw gay people
as full sexualised human beings,
1047
00:28:17,906 --> 00:28:17,948
not just stereotypic eunuchs
and clowns.
1048
00:28:17,948 --> 00:28:20,701
not just stereotypic eunuchs
and clowns.
1049
00:28:22,786 --> 00:28:22,828
Now, if you'll excuse me.
1050
00:28:22,828 --> 00:28:24,329
Now, if you'll excuse me.
1051
00:28:32,546 --> 00:28:32,588
Your daughter's a hit.
1052
00:28:32,588 --> 00:28:34,256
Your daughter's a hit.
1053
00:28:34,256 --> 00:28:34,298
Hmm. I'd say so.
1054
00:28:34,298 --> 00:28:35,799
Hmm. I'd say so.
1055
00:28:37,801 --> 00:28:37,843
I'm glad you came.
1056
00:28:37,843 --> 00:28:39,803
I'm glad you came.
1057
00:28:39,803 --> 00:28:39,845
Mmm... For no other reason,
I'm starving.
1058
00:28:39,845 --> 00:28:42,931
Mmm... For no other reason,
I'm starving.
1059
00:28:45,142 --> 00:28:45,184
Makes me think of our house-warming.
1060
00:28:45,184 --> 00:28:47,728
Makes me think of our house-warming.
1061
00:28:49,271 --> 00:28:49,313
Huh.
1062
00:28:49,313 --> 00:28:50,939
Huh.
1063
00:28:50,939 --> 00:28:50,981
If anyone needs proof that toilets
are controlled by cosmic forces...
1064
00:28:50,981 --> 00:28:54,067
If anyone needs proof that toilets
are controlled by cosmic forces...
1065
00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:54,109
Why else would they break down 10
minutes before the guests showed up?
1066
00:28:54,109 --> 00:28:57,196
Why else would they break down 10
minutes before the guests showed up?
1067
00:28:57,196 --> 00:28:57,237
100 dykes peeing in the backyard.
1068
00:28:57,237 --> 00:28:59,156
100 dykes peeing in the backyard.
1069
00:28:59,156 --> 00:28:59,198
The bushes in the bushes.
1070
00:28:59,198 --> 00:29:00,657
The bushes in the bushes.
1071
00:29:02,576 --> 00:29:02,618
(Both laugh)
1072
00:29:02,618 --> 00:29:05,996
(Both laugh)
1073
00:29:07,915 --> 00:29:07,956
GLASSES CLINK
1074
00:29:07,956 --> 00:29:09,583
GLASSES CLINK
1075
00:29:09,583 --> 00:29:09,625
Everybody...
Could we have your attention?
1076
00:29:09,625 --> 00:29:12,628
Everybody...
Could we have your attention?
1077
00:29:12,628 --> 00:29:12,669
We'd just like to welcome all of you
to our new home.
1078
00:29:12,669 --> 00:29:17,925
We'd just like to welcome all of you
to our new home.
1079
00:29:17,925 --> 00:29:17,966
Beautiful new home.
1080
00:29:17,966 --> 00:29:19,760
Beautiful new home.
1081
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:19,801
And we look forward to sharing many
happy family occasions here together.
1082
00:29:19,801 --> 00:29:25,015
And we look forward to sharing many
happy family occasions here together.
1083
00:29:25,015 --> 00:29:25,057
(All cheer)
Hear, hear.
1084
00:29:25,057 --> 00:29:27,100
(All cheer)
Hear, hear.
1085
00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:27,142
Happy family occasions.
1086
00:29:27,142 --> 00:29:29,228
Happy family occasions.
1087
00:29:29,228 --> 00:29:29,269
We also have another reason
to celebrate tonight.
1088
00:29:29,269 --> 00:29:32,439
We also have another reason
to celebrate tonight.
1089
00:29:33,482 --> 00:29:33,524
Rage and J.T. are getting married.
1090
00:29:33,524 --> 00:29:37,569
Rage and J.T. are getting married.
1091
00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:37,611
It's about time those two
superheroes settled down.
1092
00:29:37,611 --> 00:29:40,072
It's about time those two
superheroes settled down.
1093
00:29:40,072 --> 00:29:40,113
When do they start raising
a superfamily?
1094
00:29:40,113 --> 00:29:42,574
When do they start raising
a superfamily?
1095
00:29:42,574 --> 00:29:42,616
That's next.
1096
00:29:42,616 --> 00:29:44,159
That's next.
1097
00:29:44,159 --> 00:29:44,201
Got a copy for everyone. Our little
house-warming gift to you.
1098
00:29:44,201 --> 00:29:47,246
Got a copy for everyone. Our little
house-warming gift to you.
1099
00:29:47,246 --> 00:29:47,287
MAN: Thank you.
1100
00:29:47,287 --> 00:29:48,789
MAN: Thank you.
1101
00:29:48,789 --> 00:29:48,830
Here you go, Brian.
1102
00:29:48,830 --> 00:29:50,624
Here you go, Brian.
1103
00:29:55,170 --> 00:29:55,212
Here you are.
1104
00:29:55,212 --> 00:29:56,755
Here you are.
1105
00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:56,797
Do you like it?
1106
00:29:56,797 --> 00:29:58,257
Do you like it?
1107
00:29:59,800 --> 00:29:59,842
It reminds me
of this Norman Rockwell
1108
00:29:59,842 --> 00:30:01,844
It reminds me
of this Norman Rockwell
1109
00:30:01,844 --> 00:30:01,885
I saw in the doctor's office
when I was a kid.
1110
00:30:01,885 --> 00:30:04,179
I saw in the doctor's office
when I was a kid.
1111
00:30:04,179 --> 00:30:04,221
A little girl and boy
dressed as bride and groom
1112
00:30:04,221 --> 00:30:08,183
A little girl and boy
dressed as bride and groom
1113
00:30:08,183 --> 00:30:08,225
and their adorable puppy
tugging on the bridal gown.
1114
00:30:08,225 --> 00:30:11,603
and their adorable puppy
tugging on the bridal gown.
1115
00:30:11,603 --> 00:30:11,645
Just then the nurse came in and
stabbed me in the finger for blood.
1116
00:30:11,645 --> 00:30:14,982
Just then the nurse came in and
stabbed me in the finger for blood.
1117
00:30:14,982 --> 00:30:15,023
And you've had an aversion
to marriage ever since?
1118
00:30:15,023 --> 00:30:17,693
And you've had an aversion
to marriage ever since?
1119
00:30:17,693 --> 00:30:17,734
Well, I happen to think
it's a damn good story.
1120
00:30:17,734 --> 00:30:20,320
Well, I happen to think
it's a damn good story.
1121
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:20,362
Just because it doesn't agree
with your anti-family values
1122
00:30:20,362 --> 00:30:23,240
Just because it doesn't agree
with your anti-family values
1123
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:23,282
is no reason to dump on it.
1124
00:30:23,282 --> 00:30:24,741
is no reason to dump on it.
1125
00:30:26,952 --> 00:30:26,994
OK.
1126
00:30:26,994 --> 00:30:28,495
OK.
1127
00:30:37,504 --> 00:30:37,546
Let's get the whole family.
1128
00:30:37,546 --> 00:30:39,089
Let's get the whole family.
1129
00:30:39,089 --> 00:30:39,131
How do you work this thing?
1130
00:30:39,131 --> 00:30:40,674
How do you work this thing?
1131
00:30:40,674 --> 00:30:40,716
Good idea.
I'll get Jerry, you get Hunter.
1132
00:30:40,716 --> 00:30:43,010
Good idea.
I'll get Jerry, you get Hunter.
1133
00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:43,051
OK.
1134
00:30:43,051 --> 00:30:44,511
OK.
1135
00:30:47,347 --> 00:30:47,389
Hey, pal. We're taking a video of
the whole family. Care to join us?
1136
00:30:47,389 --> 00:30:51,143
Hey, pal. We're taking a video of
the whole family. Care to join us?
1137
00:30:51,143 --> 00:30:51,185
What do you want me for?
1138
00:30:51,185 --> 00:30:52,728
What do you want me for?
1139
00:30:58,984 --> 00:30:59,026
TECHNO MUSIC
1140
00:30:59,026 --> 00:31:02,112
TECHNO MUSIC
1141
00:31:37,314 --> 00:31:37,356
If a better offer comes along...
1142
00:31:37,356 --> 00:31:39,483
If a better offer comes along...
1143
00:32:02,506 --> 00:32:02,548
That'll be $5.25.
1144
00:32:02,548 --> 00:32:04,800
That'll be $5.25.
1145
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:04,842
Thanks.
1146
00:32:04,842 --> 00:32:06,468
Thanks.
1147
00:32:06,468 --> 00:32:06,510
Another satisfied customer.
1148
00:32:06,510 --> 00:32:08,554
Another satisfied customer.
1149
00:32:08,554 --> 00:32:08,595
DOOR OPENS, CLOSES
1150
00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:10,138
DOOR OPENS, CLOSES
1151
00:32:10,138 --> 00:32:10,180
You know, you say that
every time you sell one.
1152
00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:12,432
You know, you say that
every time you sell one.
1153
00:32:12,432 --> 00:32:12,474
I do? Well, it must be true.
1154
00:32:12,474 --> 00:32:14,560
I do? Well, it must be true.
1155
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:14,601
We've sold 536 copies on the website
and almost 200 here in the store.
1156
00:32:14,601 --> 00:32:18,105
We've sold 536 copies on the website
and almost 200 here in the store.
1157
00:32:18,105 --> 00:32:18,146
Those are all we have left.
1158
00:32:18,146 --> 00:32:20,232
Those are all we have left.
1159
00:32:20,232 --> 00:32:20,274
Everybody loves that J.T.
finally got his man.
1160
00:32:20,274 --> 00:32:22,609
Everybody loves that J.T.
finally got his man.
1161
00:32:22,609 --> 00:32:22,651
Yeah. Everyone but you know who.
1162
00:32:22,651 --> 00:32:25,612
Yeah. Everyone but you know who.
1163
00:32:25,612 --> 00:32:25,654
Yeah, I do know who.
1164
00:32:25,654 --> 00:32:27,823
Yeah, I do know who.
1165
00:32:28,949 --> 00:32:28,991
Well?
1166
00:32:28,991 --> 00:32:30,033
Well?
1167
00:32:30,033 --> 00:32:30,075
Well, what did you expect?
1168
00:32:30,075 --> 00:32:31,702
Well, what did you expect?
1169
00:32:31,702 --> 00:32:31,743
What did I expect?
1170
00:32:31,743 --> 00:32:33,787
What did I expect?
1171
00:32:35,163 --> 00:32:35,205
That life might imitate art.
1172
00:32:35,205 --> 00:32:37,332
That life might imitate art.
1173
00:32:37,332 --> 00:32:37,374
I've heard it's been
known to happen.
1174
00:32:37,374 --> 00:32:41,044
I've heard it's been
known to happen.
1175
00:32:41,044 --> 00:32:41,086
Ah, how could I have been
suckered in to my own fantasy?
1176
00:32:41,086 --> 00:32:43,755
Ah, how could I have been
suckered in to my own fantasy?
1177
00:32:43,755 --> 00:32:43,797
Talk about pathetic.
1178
00:32:43,797 --> 00:32:45,549
Talk about pathetic.
1179
00:32:45,549 --> 00:32:45,591
Nobody on earth
knows better than I do
1180
00:32:45,591 --> 00:32:48,468
Nobody on earth
knows better than I do
1181
00:32:48,468 --> 00:32:48,510
that unless he were genetically
altered by some nuclear mishap,
1182
00:32:48,510 --> 00:32:51,430
that unless he were genetically
altered by some nuclear mishap,
1183
00:32:51,430 --> 00:32:51,471
that could never happen.
1184
00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:53,640
that could never happen.
1185
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:53,682
Not a bad story.
1186
00:32:53,682 --> 00:32:55,601
Not a bad story.
1187
00:32:55,601 --> 00:32:55,642
Mm. But that's all it is.
It's a story.
1188
00:32:55,642 --> 00:32:58,645
Mm. But that's all it is.
It's a story.
1189
00:32:58,645 --> 00:32:58,687
DOOR OPENS
1190
00:32:58,687 --> 00:33:01,064
DOOR OPENS
1191
00:33:01,064 --> 00:33:01,106
Do you have the new issue of 'Rage'?
1192
00:33:01,106 --> 00:33:03,650
Do you have the new issue of 'Rage'?
1193
00:33:05,402 --> 00:33:05,444
This is totally awesome.
1194
00:33:05,444 --> 00:33:07,487
This is totally awesome.
1195
00:33:11,158 --> 00:33:11,200
Another satisfied customer.
1196
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,493
Another satisfied customer.
1197
00:33:15,287 --> 00:33:15,329
(Groans)
1198
00:33:15,329 --> 00:33:16,997
(Groans)
1199
00:33:18,582 --> 00:33:18,624
Well, I think the house
has been officially warmed,
1200
00:33:18,624 --> 00:33:23,170
Well, I think the house
has been officially warmed,
1201
00:33:23,170 --> 00:33:23,212
wouldn't you say?
1202
00:33:23,212 --> 00:33:25,464
wouldn't you say?
1203
00:33:27,549 --> 00:33:27,591
Great party, huh?
1204
00:33:27,591 --> 00:33:29,134
Great party, huh?
1205
00:33:29,134 --> 00:33:29,176
Everybody seemed to have a good time.
1206
00:33:29,176 --> 00:33:32,179
Everybody seemed to have a good time.
1207
00:33:33,222 --> 00:33:33,263
Yeah.
1208
00:33:33,263 --> 00:33:35,682
Yeah.
1209
00:33:35,682 --> 00:33:35,724
If you call Melanie and Lindsay
declaring a cease-fire,
1210
00:33:35,724 --> 00:33:38,810
If you call Melanie and Lindsay
declaring a cease-fire,
1211
00:33:38,810 --> 00:33:38,852
Brian leaving to go to a sex party
1212
00:33:38,852 --> 00:33:41,855
Brian leaving to go to a sex party
1213
00:33:41,855 --> 00:33:41,897
and you and Michael sticking that
fucking camera in my face,
1214
00:33:41,897 --> 00:33:44,525
and you and Michael sticking that
fucking camera in my face,
1215
00:33:44,525 --> 00:33:44,566
pretending we're this happy family,
1216
00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:46,068
pretending we're this happy family,
1217
00:33:46,068 --> 00:33:46,109
having a good time.
1218
00:33:46,109 --> 00:33:47,611
having a good time.
1219
00:33:47,611 --> 00:33:47,653
We're not pretending. We are.
1220
00:33:47,653 --> 00:33:49,655
We're not pretending. We are.
1221
00:33:54,868 --> 00:33:54,910
You're gonna get through this.
1222
00:33:54,910 --> 00:33:58,205
You're gonna get through this.
1223
00:33:58,205 --> 00:33:58,247
I promise.
1224
00:33:58,247 --> 00:34:00,832
I promise.
1225
00:34:00,832 --> 00:34:00,874
Fuck your false hope.
1226
00:34:00,874 --> 00:34:02,501
Fuck your false hope.
1227
00:34:04,294 --> 00:34:04,336
The world's a stinking shit-hole.
1228
00:34:04,336 --> 00:34:06,839
The world's a stinking shit-hole.
1229
00:34:11,426 --> 00:34:11,468
Well, I don't think Sartre
could have said it any better.
1230
00:34:11,468 --> 00:34:15,472
Well, I don't think Sartre
could have said it any better.
1231
00:34:15,472 --> 00:34:15,514
Who?
1232
00:34:15,514 --> 00:34:17,266
Who?
1233
00:34:19,852 --> 00:34:19,893
Listen, I found
a great charter school.
1234
00:34:19,893 --> 00:34:23,772
Listen, I found
a great charter school.
1235
00:34:23,772 --> 00:34:23,814
They have a waiting list a mile long
1236
00:34:23,814 --> 00:34:25,607
They have a waiting list a mile long
1237
00:34:25,607 --> 00:34:25,649
but a professor in my department
is on the board,
1238
00:34:25,649 --> 00:34:27,651
but a professor in my department
is on the board,
1239
00:34:27,651 --> 00:34:27,693
so I pulled a few strings...
1240
00:34:27,693 --> 00:34:29,194
so I pulled a few strings...
1241
00:34:29,194 --> 00:34:29,236
Why even bother? Huh?
1242
00:34:29,236 --> 00:34:31,572
Why even bother? Huh?
1243
00:34:31,572 --> 00:34:31,613
They'll just find out there, too,
1244
00:34:31,613 --> 00:34:33,156
They'll just find out there, too,
1245
00:34:33,156 --> 00:34:33,198
and then it will start
all over again.
1246
00:34:33,198 --> 00:34:34,783
and then it will start
all over again.
1247
00:34:36,952 --> 00:34:36,994
So what's the point of my going
to another fucking school?!
1248
00:34:36,994 --> 00:34:40,455
So what's the point of my going
to another fucking school?!
1249
00:34:48,714 --> 00:34:48,755
(Sighs)
1250
00:34:48,755 --> 00:34:50,966
(Sighs)
1251
00:34:52,885 --> 00:34:52,926
I haven't been here since you left.
1252
00:34:52,926 --> 00:34:55,762
I haven't been here since you left.
1253
00:34:55,762 --> 00:34:55,804
Somehow, it's not the same.
1254
00:34:55,804 --> 00:34:58,432
Somehow, it's not the same.
1255
00:34:58,432 --> 00:34:58,473
Yeah.
1256
00:34:58,473 --> 00:35:00,100
Yeah.
1257
00:35:00,100 --> 00:35:00,142
Neither am I.
1258
00:35:00,142 --> 00:35:02,060
Neither am I.
1259
00:35:03,437 --> 00:35:03,478
Carl?
1260
00:35:03,478 --> 00:35:04,479
Carl?
1261
00:35:06,148 --> 00:35:06,190
Honey, I found out
what's wrong with me.
1262
00:35:06,190 --> 00:35:08,942
Honey, I found out
what's wrong with me.
1263
00:35:11,653 --> 00:35:11,695
I just want you to know...
1264
00:35:11,695 --> 00:35:13,405
I just want you to know...
1265
00:35:14,531 --> 00:35:14,573
..that whatever it is...
1266
00:35:14,573 --> 00:35:16,658
..that whatever it is...
1267
00:35:16,658 --> 00:35:16,700
(Sighs)
1268
00:35:16,700 --> 00:35:18,452
(Sighs)
1269
00:35:18,452 --> 00:35:18,493
..I'm in this for the long haul.
1270
00:35:18,493 --> 00:35:20,662
..I'm in this for the long haul.
1271
00:35:20,662 --> 00:35:20,704
I'll stand by you.
I'm not going anywhere.
1272
00:35:20,704 --> 00:35:22,706
I'll stand by you.
I'm not going anywhere.
1273
00:35:24,499 --> 00:35:24,541
I know that, sweetheart.
That's why I love you.
1274
00:35:24,541 --> 00:35:27,503
I know that, sweetheart.
That's why I love you.
1275
00:35:27,503 --> 00:35:27,544
OK. Tell me. No, wait.
1276
00:35:27,544 --> 00:35:30,506
OK. Tell me. No, wait.
1277
00:35:30,506 --> 00:35:30,547
Wait.
1278
00:35:30,547 --> 00:35:32,341
Wait.
1279
00:35:33,592 --> 00:35:33,634
OK. Tell me.
1280
00:35:33,634 --> 00:35:36,178
OK. Tell me.
1281
00:35:36,178 --> 00:35:36,220
First of all,
1282
00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:38,096
First of all,
1283
00:35:38,096 --> 00:35:38,138
it's not a physical thing.
1284
00:35:38,138 --> 00:35:39,640
it's not a physical thing.
1285
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:39,681
Oh! Ooh!
1286
00:35:39,681 --> 00:35:42,351
Oh! Ooh!
1287
00:35:43,519 --> 00:35:43,560
That's a relief.
1288
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,062
That's a relief.
1289
00:35:46,313 --> 00:35:46,355
Then, what?
1290
00:35:46,355 --> 00:35:47,606
Then, what?
1291
00:35:49,691 --> 00:35:49,733
It's hard to explain.
1292
00:35:49,733 --> 00:35:52,319
It's hard to explain.
1293
00:35:54,321 --> 00:35:54,363
Ever since I left here,
I've felt lost.
1294
00:35:54,363 --> 00:35:56,698
Ever since I left here,
I've felt lost.
1295
00:35:56,698 --> 00:35:56,740
I've no place to go,
1296
00:35:56,740 --> 00:35:59,910
I've no place to go,
1297
00:35:59,910 --> 00:35:59,952
I got nothing to do but sit at home
1298
00:35:59,952 --> 00:36:01,954
I got nothing to do but sit at home
1299
00:36:01,954 --> 00:36:01,995
and buy lots of shit
that I don't want off TV.
1300
00:36:01,995 --> 00:36:04,248
and buy lots of shit
that I don't want off TV.
1301
00:36:04,248 --> 00:36:04,289
That's what a lady of leisure's
supposed to do.
1302
00:36:04,289 --> 00:36:06,333
That's what a lady of leisure's
supposed to do.
1303
00:36:06,333 --> 00:36:06,375
I mean, you know,
relax, enjoy yourself
1304
00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:10,671
I mean, you know,
relax, enjoy yourself
1305
00:36:10,671 --> 00:36:10,712
and be glad you don't have to work.
1306
00:36:10,712 --> 00:36:12,798
and be glad you don't have to work.
1307
00:36:12,798 --> 00:36:12,840
It's funny. I never
thought of it as work.
1308
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,217
It's funny. I never
thought of it as work.
1309
00:36:15,217 --> 00:36:15,259
All those long, hard hours,
on your feet...
1310
00:36:15,259 --> 00:36:18,595
All those long, hard hours,
on your feet...
1311
00:36:18,595 --> 00:36:18,637
..juggling plates.
1312
00:36:18,637 --> 00:36:20,889
..juggling plates.
1313
00:36:20,889 --> 00:36:20,931
To me, it was more like a dance.
1314
00:36:20,931 --> 00:36:23,559
To me, it was more like a dance.
1315
00:36:23,559 --> 00:36:23,600
And I was the prima ballerina.
1316
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,436
And I was the prima ballerina.
1317
00:36:26,436 --> 00:36:26,478
This is not exactly the, uh...
1318
00:36:26,478 --> 00:36:29,231
This is not exactly the, uh...
1319
00:36:29,231 --> 00:36:29,273
..Royal Ballet of Pittsburgh.
1320
00:36:29,273 --> 00:36:31,483
..Royal Ballet of Pittsburgh.
1321
00:36:32,901 --> 00:36:32,943
But it's my job.
1322
00:36:32,943 --> 00:36:34,444
But it's my job.
1323
00:36:36,071 --> 00:36:36,113
No, it's more than a job.
1324
00:36:36,113 --> 00:36:38,448
No, it's more than a job.
1325
00:36:38,448 --> 00:36:38,490
It's who I am.
1326
00:36:38,490 --> 00:36:40,701
It's who I am.
1327
00:36:42,828 --> 00:36:42,870
And I want it back.
1328
00:36:42,870 --> 00:36:44,580
And I want it back.
1329
00:36:46,123 --> 00:36:46,164
(Sighs)
1330
00:36:46,164 --> 00:36:48,542
(Sighs)
1331
00:36:48,542 --> 00:36:48,584
I-I was just...
1332
00:36:48,584 --> 00:36:50,711
I-I was just...
1333
00:36:50,711 --> 00:36:50,752
..trying to make it easier
on...on you.
1334
00:36:50,752 --> 00:36:53,922
..trying to make it easier
on...on you.
1335
00:36:53,922 --> 00:36:53,964
But...if this'll make you happy...
1336
00:36:53,964 --> 00:36:58,594
But...if this'll make you happy...
1337
00:36:58,594 --> 00:36:58,635
(Laughs)
1338
00:36:58,635 --> 00:37:00,137
(Laughs)
1339
00:37:00,137 --> 00:37:00,179
..like I said, I'll stand by you.
1340
00:37:00,179 --> 00:37:03,182
..like I said, I'll stand by you.
1341
00:37:03,182 --> 00:37:03,223
Uh, I'm not going anywhere.
1342
00:37:03,223 --> 00:37:04,933
Uh, I'm not going anywhere.
1343
00:37:07,019 --> 00:37:07,060
Thank you, Carl.
1344
00:37:07,060 --> 00:37:09,688
Thank you, Carl.
1345
00:37:12,065 --> 00:37:12,107
Now, you sure you're OK with this?
1346
00:37:12,107 --> 00:37:14,735
Now, you sure you're OK with this?
1347
00:37:16,195 --> 00:37:16,236
100% sure.
1348
00:37:16,236 --> 00:37:17,779
100% sure.
1349
00:37:17,779 --> 00:37:17,821
Good.
1350
00:37:17,821 --> 00:37:20,157
Good.
1351
00:37:20,157 --> 00:37:20,199
'Cause my shift started
five minutes ago.
1352
00:37:20,199 --> 00:37:22,659
'Cause my shift started
five minutes ago.
1353
00:37:22,659 --> 00:37:22,701
(Laughs)
1354
00:37:22,701 --> 00:37:25,412
(Laughs)
1355
00:37:25,412 --> 00:37:25,454
So...
1356
00:37:25,454 --> 00:37:26,955
So...
1357
00:37:26,955 --> 00:37:26,997
..what'll it be?
1358
00:37:26,997 --> 00:37:29,249
..what'll it be?
1359
00:37:29,249 --> 00:37:29,291
(Carl laughs)
1360
00:37:29,291 --> 00:37:31,084
(Carl laughs)
1361
00:37:31,084 --> 00:37:31,126
(Moans)
(Grunts)
1362
00:37:31,126 --> 00:37:34,129
(Moans)
(Grunts)
1363
00:37:38,133 --> 00:37:38,175
(Laughs)
1364
00:37:38,175 --> 00:37:40,135
(Laughs)
1365
00:37:40,135 --> 00:37:40,177
Ah!
1366
00:37:40,177 --> 00:37:41,762
Ah!
1367
00:37:41,762 --> 00:37:41,803
Whoo!
1368
00:37:41,803 --> 00:37:43,347
Whoo!
1369
00:37:43,347 --> 00:37:43,388
That was hot!
1370
00:37:43,388 --> 00:37:45,307
That was hot!
1371
00:37:45,307 --> 00:37:45,349
(Pants)
1372
00:37:45,349 --> 00:37:47,851
(Pants)
1373
00:37:47,851 --> 00:37:47,893
Think so?
1374
00:37:47,893 --> 00:37:49,436
Think so?
1375
00:37:49,436 --> 00:37:49,478
Yeah.
1376
00:37:49,478 --> 00:37:51,146
Yeah.
1377
00:37:51,146 --> 00:37:51,188
(Opens bin)
1378
00:37:51,188 --> 00:37:52,689
(Opens bin)
1379
00:37:52,689 --> 00:37:52,731
You know, I've been here before.
1380
00:37:52,731 --> 00:37:56,985
You know, I've been here before.
1381
00:37:56,985 --> 00:37:57,027
Oh?
1382
00:37:57,027 --> 00:37:58,737
Oh?
1383
00:37:58,737 --> 00:37:58,779
I mean, in this building.
1384
00:37:58,779 --> 00:38:00,864
I mean, in this building.
1385
00:38:00,864 --> 00:38:00,906
Fucked some poor loser.
1386
00:38:00,906 --> 00:38:02,991
Fucked some poor loser.
1387
00:38:04,576 --> 00:38:04,618
Yeah, well, the place
is crawling with them.
1388
00:38:04,618 --> 00:38:07,663
Yeah, well, the place
is crawling with them.
1389
00:38:07,663 --> 00:38:07,704
Believe me, I know.
1390
00:38:07,704 --> 00:38:09,414
Believe me, I know.
1391
00:38:09,414 --> 00:38:09,456
(Laughs) Hmm.
1392
00:38:09,456 --> 00:38:11,583
(Laughs) Hmm.
1393
00:38:11,583 --> 00:38:11,625
One of my pity fucks.
1394
00:38:11,625 --> 00:38:13,669
One of my pity fucks.
1395
00:38:13,669 --> 00:38:13,710
Yeah, speaking of pity fucks...
1396
00:38:13,710 --> 00:38:16,088
Yeah, speaking of pity fucks...
1397
00:38:16,088 --> 00:38:16,129
You know,
1398
00:38:16,129 --> 00:38:17,673
You know,
1399
00:38:17,673 --> 00:38:17,714
when we first hooked up at the gym,
I wasn't sure.
1400
00:38:17,714 --> 00:38:21,051
when we first hooked up at the gym,
I wasn't sure.
1401
00:38:21,051 --> 00:38:21,093
That I was your type?
1402
00:38:21,093 --> 00:38:22,719
That I was your type?
1403
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:22,761
That you'd be so...hot.
1404
00:38:22,761 --> 00:38:25,639
That you'd be so...hot.
1405
00:38:25,639 --> 00:38:25,681
But, man, are you ever.
1406
00:38:25,681 --> 00:38:27,850
But, man, are you ever.
1407
00:38:29,434 --> 00:38:29,476
Look.
1408
00:38:29,476 --> 00:38:31,019
Look.
1409
00:38:31,019 --> 00:38:31,061
I'm still hard.
1410
00:38:31,061 --> 00:38:34,273
I'm still hard.
1411
00:38:34,273 --> 00:38:34,314
You up for another round?
1412
00:38:34,314 --> 00:38:36,859
You up for another round?
1413
00:38:39,152 --> 00:38:39,194
Actually, there's something
I want to say to you.
1414
00:38:39,194 --> 00:38:41,697
Actually, there's something
I want to say to you.
1415
00:38:41,697 --> 00:38:41,738
That you want to roll me over
and fuck me again?
1416
00:38:41,738 --> 00:38:44,741
That you want to roll me over
and fuck me again?
1417
00:38:48,871 --> 00:38:48,912
What I want to...
1418
00:38:48,912 --> 00:38:50,664
What I want to...
1419
00:38:52,124 --> 00:38:52,165
..what I want to say to...to you...
1420
00:38:52,165 --> 00:38:54,710
..what I want to say to...to you...
1421
00:38:55,794 --> 00:38:55,836
..is, uh...
1422
00:38:55,836 --> 00:38:57,588
..is, uh...
1423
00:39:00,549 --> 00:39:00,591
Roll over.
1424
00:39:00,591 --> 00:39:02,843
Roll over.
1425
00:39:05,220 --> 00:39:05,262
Oh, yeah.
1426
00:39:05,262 --> 00:39:07,723
Oh, yeah.
1427
00:39:08,807 --> 00:39:08,849
Michael, we can't force him
to go to school.
1428
00:39:08,849 --> 00:39:11,643
Michael, we can't force him
to go to school.
1429
00:39:11,643 --> 00:39:11,685
Of course we can. We're his parents.
Hell, he's only 17.
1430
00:39:11,685 --> 00:39:14,563
Of course we can. We're his parents.
Hell, he's only 17.
1431
00:39:14,563 --> 00:39:14,605
You can quit school when you're 16.
1432
00:39:14,605 --> 00:39:16,732
You can quit school when you're 16.
1433
00:39:16,732 --> 00:39:16,773
Besides, if we pressure him,
we'll only push him away more.
1434
00:39:16,773 --> 00:39:19,401
Besides, if we pressure him,
we'll only push him away more.
1435
00:39:19,401 --> 00:39:19,443
He's got to finish high school
1436
00:39:19,443 --> 00:39:21,528
He's got to finish high school
1437
00:39:21,528 --> 00:39:21,570
so he can go to college
and become a doctor and a lawyer
1438
00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:24,198
so he can go to college
and become a doctor and a lawyer
1439
00:39:24,198 --> 00:39:24,239
and President of the United States.
1440
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,491
and President of the United States.
1441
00:39:28,994 --> 00:39:29,036
What was that for?
1442
00:39:29,036 --> 00:39:30,621
What was that for?
1443
00:39:30,621 --> 00:39:30,662
The eternal optimist.
That's why I love you.
1444
00:39:30,662 --> 00:39:32,748
The eternal optimist.
That's why I love you.
1445
00:39:32,748 --> 00:39:32,789
Now, let's just give him
some time and some space
1446
00:39:32,789 --> 00:39:35,584
Now, let's just give him
some time and some space
1447
00:39:35,584 --> 00:39:35,626
and, hopefully,
he'll come to the right decision.
1448
00:39:35,626 --> 00:39:37,794
and, hopefully,
he'll come to the right decision.
1449
00:39:45,135 --> 00:39:45,177
Oh. Hey, I was just about
to call you for dinner.
1450
00:39:45,177 --> 00:39:48,722
Oh. Hey, I was just about
to call you for dinner.
1451
00:39:48,722 --> 00:39:48,764
But just 'cause I said
we're having sloppy joes
1452
00:39:48,764 --> 00:39:50,724
But just 'cause I said
we're having sloppy joes
1453
00:39:50,724 --> 00:39:50,766
doesn't mean we're gonna go camping.
1454
00:39:50,766 --> 00:39:52,309
doesn't mean we're gonna go camping.
1455
00:39:52,309 --> 00:39:52,351
Going somewhere?
Yeah.
1456
00:39:52,351 --> 00:39:55,312
Going somewhere?
Yeah.
1457
00:39:55,312 --> 00:39:55,354
Well, uh, eat first
and don't be out too late.
1458
00:39:55,354 --> 00:39:58,398
Well, uh, eat first
and don't be out too late.
1459
00:39:58,398 --> 00:39:58,440
I mean, I'm leaving.
1460
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,651
I mean, I'm leaving.
1461
00:40:01,693 --> 00:40:01,735
For good.
1462
00:40:01,735 --> 00:40:03,737
For good.
1463
00:40:07,074 --> 00:40:07,115
What do you mean you're...
1464
00:40:07,115 --> 00:40:09,076
What do you mean you're...
1465
00:40:09,076 --> 00:40:09,117
I can't stay here anymore, OK?
1466
00:40:09,117 --> 00:40:11,078
I can't stay here anymore, OK?
1467
00:40:11,078 --> 00:40:11,119
No. It's not OK.
1468
00:40:11,119 --> 00:40:12,996
No. It's not OK.
1469
00:40:12,996 --> 00:40:13,038
Now, put your things away
1470
00:40:13,038 --> 00:40:15,374
Now, put your things away
1471
00:40:15,374 --> 00:40:15,415
and sit down and eat
1472
00:40:15,415 --> 00:40:16,917
and sit down and eat
1473
00:40:16,917 --> 00:40:16,959
and, afterwards, we'll discuss this.
1474
00:40:16,959 --> 00:40:18,502
and, afterwards, we'll discuss this.
1475
00:40:18,502 --> 00:40:18,544
We've already discussed it.
There's nothing left to say.
1476
00:40:18,544 --> 00:40:21,547
We've already discussed it.
There's nothing left to say.
1477
00:40:21,547 --> 00:40:21,630
Well, I said you're not
going anywhere and that's final.
1478
00:40:21,630 --> 00:40:23,674
Well, I said you're not
going anywhere and that's final.
1479
00:40:23,674 --> 00:40:23,715
Hey, Michael! Michael.
What? He can't just leave!
1480
00:40:23,715 --> 00:40:25,717
Hey, Michael! Michael.
What? He can't just leave!
1481
00:40:25,717 --> 00:40:25,759
We're his parents, for Christ's
sake, whether he likes it or not.
1482
00:40:25,759 --> 00:40:28,220
We're his parents, for Christ's
sake, whether he likes it or not.
1483
00:40:28,220 --> 00:40:28,262
We're his legal guardians.
What we say goes.
1484
00:40:28,262 --> 00:40:30,347
We're his legal guardians.
What we say goes.
1485
00:40:30,347 --> 00:40:30,389
Hunter, nothing's gonna be solved
by running away.
1486
00:40:30,389 --> 00:40:31,974
Hunter, nothing's gonna be solved
by running away.
1487
00:40:31,974 --> 00:40:32,015
I don't belong here!
I don't belong in this house.
1488
00:40:32,015 --> 00:40:34,518
I don't belong here!
I don't belong in this house.
1489
00:40:34,518 --> 00:40:34,560
I don't belong at that school!
1490
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,478
I don't belong at that school!
1491
00:40:36,478 --> 00:40:36,520
And I don't belong with you!
Of course you belong with us.
1492
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,898
And I don't belong with you!
Of course you belong with us.
1493
00:40:39,898 --> 00:40:39,940
I'll only go on causing you
problems. Embarrassing you.
1494
00:40:39,940 --> 00:40:43,151
I'll only go on causing you
problems. Embarrassing you.
1495
00:40:43,151 --> 00:40:43,193
You don't embarrass us.
We're proud of you.
1496
00:40:43,193 --> 00:40:45,404
You don't embarrass us.
We're proud of you.
1497
00:40:45,404 --> 00:40:45,445
This is not the debate team.
1498
00:40:45,445 --> 00:40:46,947
This is not the debate team.
1499
00:40:46,947 --> 00:40:46,989
There's no argument here except...
1500
00:40:46,989 --> 00:40:48,866
There's no argument here except...
1501
00:40:48,866 --> 00:40:48,907
..do you want apple sauce
or canned peaches?
1502
00:40:48,907 --> 00:40:51,577
..do you want apple sauce
or canned peaches?
1503
00:40:52,911 --> 00:40:52,953
Hunter!
1504
00:40:52,953 --> 00:40:54,580
Hunter!
1505
00:40:54,580 --> 00:40:54,621
I don't care if I have to lock you
in your fucking room!
1506
00:40:54,621 --> 00:40:57,499
I don't care if I have to lock you
in your fucking room!
1507
00:41:02,296 --> 00:41:02,337
Where are you gonna go?
I don't know.
1508
00:41:02,337 --> 00:41:04,423
Where are you gonna go?
I don't know.
1509
00:41:04,423 --> 00:41:04,464
Do you have any money?
1510
00:41:04,464 --> 00:41:06,049
Do you have any money?
1511
00:41:06,049 --> 00:41:06,091
What you and Michael
gave me for my birthday.
1512
00:41:06,091 --> 00:41:08,093
What you and Michael
gave me for my birthday.
1513
00:41:08,093 --> 00:41:08,135
No plan, no money - perfect. How do
you intend to support yourself?
1514
00:41:08,135 --> 00:41:11,388
No plan, no money - perfect. How do
you intend to support yourself?
1515
00:41:11,388 --> 00:41:11,430
I'll think of something.
I bet you will.
1516
00:41:11,430 --> 00:41:14,725
I'll think of something.
I bet you will.
1517
00:41:14,725 --> 00:41:14,766
Hey...
1518
00:41:14,766 --> 00:41:16,602
Hey...
1519
00:41:18,353 --> 00:41:18,395
If you need more, call us.
1520
00:41:18,395 --> 00:41:20,397
If you need more, call us.
1521
00:41:22,232 --> 00:41:22,274
What the fuck are you doing?
1522
00:41:22,274 --> 00:41:24,484
What the fuck are you doing?
1523
00:41:32,075 --> 00:41:32,117
Hunter, wait.
1524
00:41:32,117 --> 00:41:33,744
Hunter, wait.
1525
00:41:38,207 --> 00:41:38,248
Just put it in your shoe
or some place safe.
1526
00:41:38,248 --> 00:41:41,585
Just put it in your shoe
or some place safe.
1527
00:41:52,054 --> 00:41:52,095
DOOR CLOSES
1528
00:41:52,095 --> 00:41:53,597
DOOR CLOSES
1529
00:41:59,019 --> 00:41:59,061
Hot or not?
1530
00:41:59,061 --> 00:42:00,812
Hot or not?
1531
00:42:00,812 --> 00:42:00,854
It's hot.
1532
00:42:00,854 --> 00:42:02,564
It's hot.
1533
00:42:05,275 --> 00:42:05,317
Now, that's what I call
resounding approval.
1534
00:42:05,317 --> 00:42:08,237
Now, that's what I call
resounding approval.
1535
00:42:12,074 --> 00:42:12,115
By the way, we sold out every
last copy of the marriage issue.
1536
00:42:12,115 --> 00:42:15,369
By the way, we sold out every
last copy of the marriage issue.
1537
00:42:15,369 --> 00:42:15,410
And we got orders for over 300 more.
1538
00:42:15,410 --> 00:42:17,996
And we got orders for over 300 more.
1539
00:42:20,374 --> 00:42:20,415
Well, if not having any balls
1540
00:42:20,415 --> 00:42:22,918
Well, if not having any balls
1541
00:42:22,918 --> 00:42:22,960
is what it takes to be
a gay superhero these days,
1542
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,838
is what it takes to be
a gay superhero these days,
1543
00:42:25,838 --> 00:42:25,879
I'd warn Rage
to get the hell out of Gayopolis.
1544
00:42:25,879 --> 00:42:29,424
I'd warn Rage
to get the hell out of Gayopolis.
1545
00:42:31,218 --> 00:42:31,260
You know, if you didn't
stay out all night, fucking,
1546
00:42:31,260 --> 00:42:33,512
You know, if you didn't
stay out all night, fucking,
1547
00:42:33,512 --> 00:42:33,554
maybe you wouldn't be so cranky.
1548
00:42:33,554 --> 00:42:35,639
maybe you wouldn't be so cranky.
1549
00:42:35,639 --> 00:42:35,681
Who said I was fucking?
1550
00:42:35,681 --> 00:42:37,182
Who said I was fucking?
1551
00:42:37,182 --> 00:42:37,224
You?! I'm sure
there must have been someone.
1552
00:42:37,224 --> 00:42:40,602
You?! I'm sure
there must have been someone.
1553
00:42:43,105 --> 00:42:43,146
Yeah. And somebody else got him.
1554
00:42:43,146 --> 00:42:46,358
Yeah. And somebody else got him.
1555
00:42:46,358 --> 00:42:46,400
Finally, some competition.
1556
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,986
Finally, some competition.
1557
00:42:57,995 --> 00:42:58,036
I don't think you get it.
1558
00:42:58,036 --> 00:42:59,830
I don't think you get it.
1559
00:42:59,830 --> 00:42:59,872
What, that someone rejected you?
1560
00:42:59,872 --> 00:43:02,499
What, that someone rejected you?
1561
00:43:04,042 --> 00:43:04,084
Got the prime piece of meat?
It happens to everyone.
1562
00:43:04,084 --> 00:43:08,172
Got the prime piece of meat?
It happens to everyone.
1563
00:43:09,923 --> 00:43:09,965
One little gesture.
1564
00:43:09,965 --> 00:43:12,551
One little gesture.
1565
00:43:12,551 --> 00:43:12,593
Easily overlooked.
1566
00:43:12,593 --> 00:43:14,595
Easily overlooked.
1567
00:43:16,305 --> 00:43:16,346
(Groans)
1568
00:43:16,346 --> 00:43:18,223
(Groans)
1569
00:43:18,223 --> 00:43:18,265
But the meaning is clear.
It's started.
1570
00:43:18,265 --> 00:43:20,559
But the meaning is clear.
It's started.
1571
00:43:24,563 --> 00:43:24,605
It's begun.
1572
00:43:24,605 --> 00:43:26,440
It's begun.
1573
00:43:32,237 --> 00:43:32,279
COATHANGERS CLATTER
1574
00:43:32,279 --> 00:43:35,365
COATHANGERS CLATTER
1575
00:43:38,952 --> 00:43:38,994
Ah! (Clears throat)
1576
00:43:38,994 --> 00:43:40,662
Ah! (Clears throat)
1577
00:43:43,290 --> 00:43:43,332
How about this one?
1578
00:43:43,332 --> 00:43:45,292
How about this one?
1579
00:43:54,384 --> 00:43:54,426
(Sighs)
1580
00:43:54,426 --> 00:43:56,345
(Sighs)
1581
00:43:56,345 --> 00:43:56,386
You know, when I was in L.A.,
fucking around, it was fun and all.
1582
00:43:56,386 --> 00:44:01,183
You know, when I was in L.A.,
fucking around, it was fun and all.
1583
00:44:01,183 --> 00:44:01,225
But when I came back here
1584
00:44:01,225 --> 00:44:03,852
But when I came back here
1585
00:44:03,852 --> 00:44:03,894
and you said the offer still stands
and to put my stuff in the drawer...
1586
00:44:03,894 --> 00:44:08,023
and you said the offer still stands
and to put my stuff in the drawer...
1587
00:44:10,943 --> 00:44:10,984
..I was hoping it meant we were
finally going to be a real couple.
1588
00:44:10,984 --> 00:44:16,073
..I was hoping it meant we were
finally going to be a real couple.
1589
00:44:18,534 --> 00:44:18,575
Like Michael and Ben.
1590
00:44:18,575 --> 00:44:20,160
Like Michael and Ben.
1591
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:20,202
One day we might have
the things they have.
1592
00:44:20,202 --> 00:44:23,413
One day we might have
the things they have.
1593
00:44:24,706 --> 00:44:24,748
A house.
1594
00:44:24,748 --> 00:44:26,625
A house.
1595
00:44:27,876 --> 00:44:27,918
Maybe even a family.
1596
00:44:27,918 --> 00:44:30,379
Maybe even a family.
1597
00:44:42,349 --> 00:44:42,391
How's this?
1598
00:44:42,391 --> 00:44:44,017
How's this?
1599
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:05,122
"Hot."
1600
00:45:05,122 --> 00:45:06,874
"Hot."
1601
00:45:10,169 --> 00:45:10,210
'GOING NOWHERE' BY CUT COPY PLAYS
1602
00:45:10,210 --> 00:45:13,839
'GOING NOWHERE' BY CUT COPY PLAYS
1603
00:45:19,136 --> 00:45:19,219
1604
00:45:19,219 --> 00:45:24,308
114285
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