All language subtitles for My Cousin Vinny

♪ Get out on the highway,
heading down it my way ♪

♪ Passing everything in sight ♪

♪ I push it to the max,
getting ready to relax ♪

♪ Cos it's gonna be
a Saturday night ♪

♪ I know a place
just over the hill ♪

♪ If you wanna have a
good time, you will ♪

♪ Way down South ♪

♪ Just across the border ♪

♪ Way down South ♪

♪ Don't need no law and order ♪

♪ Once you get down
there, then you'll know ♪

♪ Way down South
is the way to go ♪

♪ You can have the fast lane ♪

♪ I don't want the
stress and strain ♪

♪ Gonna leave it all behind ♪

♪ You get a little lazy ♪

♪ Act a little crazy ♪

♪ Ain't nobody going to mind ♪

♪ Don't need a lot of
cash or a flashy car ♪

♪ Folks better take you
just the way you are ♪

♪ Way down South ♪

♪ Just across the border ♪

♪ Way down South ♪

♪ Once you get down
there, then you'll see ♪

♪ Ain't nothing like
Southern hospitality ♪

♪ Way down South ♪

♪ Almost to the border ♪

♪ Way down South ♪

♪ She knows more than
Momma taught her ♪

♪ All the way from
Nashville to New Orleans ♪

♪ We got cheap talking
belles and delta queens ♪

♪ Way down South ♪

♪ Almost to the border ♪

♪ Way down South ♪

♪ Don't need no law and order ♪

♪ Once you get down
there, then you'll see ♪

♪ Ain't nothing like
Southern hospitality ♪

- Here's some for 37 cents.
- Here's some for 32.

31.

That's it. Don't they
have any generics?

I think this is the generic.

I never heard of that brand.
Maybe we should get this.

You're paying for advertising.

- Tuna. We should get tuna.
- Please, no more tuna.

It's got protein. We need protein.

Beans are protein.

- Beans make you fart.
- We got a convertible.

I'm getting it for myself.

One burrito and one large Slush.

- 21 dollars and 67 cents.
- Can you fill this up?

21.67

Jesus. Look, I forgot
to pay for this.

You could have gotten caught.
What if somebody saw?

You know what the minimum age
for execution is in Alabama?

- About sixteen?
- Ten.

- There's a cop behind us.
- A cop?

There's nothing to worry
about, all right?

There might be.

Just relax. Please.

- Is he still there?
- Yeah.

- Goddamn it.
- Calm down, all right?

There's a cop behind us, that's
all. There's no problem.

- Oh.
- What?

- His light's on.
- Fuck. Fuck. Goddamn it.

What are we gonna do?

It's probably nothing. It
might be a tail light.

We don't have any money for bail.

Bail? Nothing's happened.

Nothing? You stole
something, didn't you?

Shut up. All right?

All right. Here he comes.

- Show me your hands.
- Jesus.

Show me your hands. Get them up.

Get them up. Up.

Now put your hands on top of your
head and get out of the car.

- Out of the car.
- Go.

Yeah, I'm sure of it. It's
number three and five.

Ridiculous. All this
over a can of tuna.

Keep quiet.

Yeah. Huh. You sure about that?

Yeah. He's standing right here.

All right. Bye.

I think we may get a confession.

I just heard someone
shot Jimmy Willis.

He's dead.

Oh, my God. Who would
do such a thing?

- Hello, Bill. I'm Sheriff Farley.
- Hi.

- Do you know why you're here?
- Yeah, I do. I'm sorry.

It was a stupid thing to do.

Have you been made
aware of your rights?

Yes.

You're willing to
waive that right?

I'll cooperate fully.

I'll sign a statement, or whatever
makes this whole thing easier.

Good. Good. That's good.

But I want you to know, Stan,
he had nothing to do with it.

Did he help you plan it?

No. I mean... I mean,
it wasn't planned out.

You know, it just happened.

Did Stan try to stop
you at any time?

No. I mean, he was...

- Is that a big deal?
- Aiding and abetting.

Aiding and abetting?
Is that a major thing?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

An accessory? Are you guys
kidding? An accessory?

I didn't help. I didn't plan it.

You didn't try to stop it.

I didn't know it was happening.
I found out later in the car.

Why didn't you get out,
call the police then?

He's my friend.

Well.

Your friend has put you
in a lot of trouble.

What's gonna happen to Bill?

Nothing. Unless he's convicted.

If he is, we're gonna
run enough electricity

through him to light
up Birmingham.

We were friends at
NYU, and we both

applied and we got
scholarships to UCLA.

So we figured the scenery would
be nicer going through the South.

- What about the tuna fish?
- I forgot about the tuna fish.

And then we left.

Did he catch you with the tuna
fish? Is that how it started?

- No, he didn't say anything.
- But he knew about it.

I don't know.

Let's talk about
that for a moment.

You paid for the groceries.

And then what?

We went out to the
car, and that's it.

When'd you shoot him?

What?

At what point did you
shoot the clerk?

- I shot the clerk?
- Yes. When did you shoot him?

- I shot the clerk?
- Hey, we need ya out here.

I'm in the middle of a
damn confession here.

Whoa. Wait a minute.

What's the matter?

Do you know what
this is all about?

- Yeah, they're fucking with us.
- You don't believe them?

They don't execute
for shoplifting.

You think we're booked
for shoplifting?

No. You're being booked
for shoplifting.

I'm booked for accessory
to shoplifting.

No, Stan. I'm being
booked for murder and

you're being booked for
accessory to murder.

It's time to make
your phone calls.

- Goddamn it.
- Could you contact your parents?

How? Call the Chilean
consulate? What can they do?

Send a guide into the
mountains looking for them?

We need to call an attorney.
A great attorney.

Do you know any great attorneys?

No. I'm calling my mother.

Hello, Ma. We're in Wazoo.

It's in Beechum
County, Alabama, Ma.

Not too good, Ma. We...
we've been arrested.

Ma. Ma, please. Ma, please. First

of all, we didn't
do it, all right?

Murder.

Ma. Ma, please. Ma,
it's a mistake.

We must look like the
guys who did it.

Tell her what we think
is happening...

Shut up.

We think they're
trying to set us up as

patsies. You know how
corrupt it is here.

The Klan's here, they're inbred,
they sleep with their sisters.

- Some of them do.
- All right, Ma, listen.

We got to get an attorney, and
it's gonna cost a lot of money.

- How much would an attorney cost?
- A decent one? $50,000. $100,000.

50,000. 100,000... I
know, Ma. I know.

- Can we use any attorney?
- I think so.

He says he thinks so.

Oh, he is?

Well, that's a great idea.
You think he'll do it?

We got an attorney in the family.

- Who?
- My cousin Vinny.

♪ Mind your business
she's saying this ♪

♪ Then he's saying that ♪

What is that?

♪ I thought she was thin
I thought she was fat ♪

♪ Deception, collection
use your own affliction ♪

♪ The trial of survival ♪

♪ You need to mind your business ♪

♪ Yeah mind your business ♪

♪ Mind your business
mind your business ♪

♪ Mind your business ♪

Where is he from?

♪ You need to mind your business ♪

♪ They try to tie you down ♪

♪ With a ball and chain ♪

♪ You try to make a move ♪

♪ So they change the game ♪

♪ Every time you're up they
try to bring you down ♪

♪ I'm telling you right now ♪

♪ Deception, collection
infection, objection ♪

What?

You stick out like a
sore thumb around here.

- Me? What about you?
- I fit in better than you.

At least I'm wearing cowboy boots.

Oh, yeah. You blend.

I bet the Chinese food
here is terrible.

I don't see anything.

The wheels went out of balance...

- right after we hit that mud.
- No, that's not it.

I think you should put it
on a rack and take a look.

What's wrong?

- What?
- What's the problem?

The car was shimmying
on the highway.

- You got mud in your tyres.
- I got mud in my tyres?

Let me ask you, how do you
get mud into the tyres?

That's a figure of speech. The mud

gets around the
inside of the wheel.

Throws the balance off.

Did you ever hear that?
Mud in the tyres?

No.

She never heard it. She knows
everything about cars.

See, down here,
everybody gets stuck

in the mud every now and then.

- Yeah. We're famous for our mud.
- Famous for your mud?

How's your Chinese food?

You keep on asking
about that. Can't you

tell they don't have
Chinese restaurants?

Gotta let everybody know
you're a tourist. Come on.

And you're a fucking
world traveller?

Our jail was condemned
this morning.

That's why we bringing you all out
to the state corrections facility.

Unlock the gate.

Go on through.

Do you know what happens
in these places?

Yeah, I know what happens.

There's often a big guy named
Bubba no one will tangle with.

He'll protect you,
if you become his

sex slave and do
whatever he wants.

There's only the two of us here.

What about those cots? What if
they put somebody else in here?

Stan.

- Shut up.
- Ok.

I can't believe my luck.

Here.

We got somebody for you.

You must be Stan. How you doing?

Why'd they bring you in here?

I just got in. I asked for the new
guys and they brought me here.

Hey, he's sleeping,
huh? Cute little guy.

You know, maybe I'll
just start with

you. Let him sleep a little bit.

- Look, I don't wanna do this.
- Hey, I don't blame you.

If I was in your
situation, I'd wanna

get through this whole thing...

as quickly and with as
little pain as possible.

So let's try our best to make it
a simple in-and-out procedure.

What's the matter?

Relax, relax. Relax.

Maybe we should spend a
couple of minutes together.

You know, to get acquainted before
we, you know, before we get to it.

- What's wrong with you?
- I don't wanna do this.

I understand, but what
are your alternatives?

My alternatives? To what? To you?

I dunno. Suicide. Death.

Look, it's either
me or them. You're

getting fucked, one
way or the other.

Hey, hey, hey.

Lighten up, ok? Don't
worry, I'm gonna help you.

Gee, thanks.

Excuse me, but I
think a modicum of

gratitude would not
be out of line here.

You think I should be grateful?

Yeah. I mean it's
your ass, not mine.

I think you should
be grateful. I think

you should be down on
your fucking knees.

I didn't know your visit
was such an honour.

I'm doing a favour. You're getting
me for nothing, you little fuck.

Boy, that's one hell
of an ego you've got.

What the fuck is your problem?

I did not come here
just to get jerked off.

No. No, no.

I'm not jerking you off.
I'm not doing anything.

You're on your own. I'm just
taking care of Sleeping Beauty.

- Hey. Billy.
- Back off.

- Vinny. Hey, Vinny.
- Vinny?

Vinny Bag of Doughnuts.
How are you?

This is Vinny?

I don't know where to start.

Have you had any
murder cases before?

- None. This'll be my first.
- Your first?

Yeah.

What kind of cases have you had?

Assault and battery?
Armed robbery?

No.

Well, I expect he's done burglary,
grand theft auto, drugs.

No. Nothing like that either.

What kind... what kind
of law do you practise?

Well, up till now,
personal injury.

Well... you're a trial attorney,

right? I mean, personal
injury trials.

Well, actually,
this'll be my first

foray into the trial process.

I haven't had to go to
court yet. Knock on wood.

You haven't had to
go to court yet.

- How long you been practising?
- Almost six weeks.

But...

You graduated six years ago.
What have you been doing?

Studying, for the bar.

Six years?

- That's a lot of studying.
- Well, to be honest with you...

I didn't pass my first time out.

That's ok. You passed
the second time?

I'm afraid not.

- Three times a charm?
- Not for me it isn't.

No. For me, six times was a charm.

Six times.

- A little informal, aren't we?
- I was resting...

- Not wearing a coat or tie.
- Oh. Sorry.

Well, approving an
attorney from out

of state is a pretty
informal matter.

- I just have a few questions.
- Ok. Fire away, Judge.

- Where'd you go to law school?
- Brooklyn Academy of Law.

Is that an accredited law school?

Oh. Yes.

- How long you been practising?
- Ooh, about six...

Almost sixteen years.

- Any murder cases?
- Quite a few. Yes.

What was the outcome?

You know. Win some, lose some.

This is not the forum
to be cavalier.

Oh, of course. Now, let me see.

Most recently, I had
a axe murder...

which I won, on the grounds
of temporary insanity.

Wanna hear the facts of the case?

No.

- What else?
- Let me see. What else?

You ever heard of the Son of Sam?

The fella who received
orders to kill from a dog?

- That one.
- You defended him?

Well, no, not exactly. I defended
the first guy they arrested.

And, he was found
innocent and set free...

and, they caught the real guy.

Well.

We don't have any serial
killers in Beechum County.

What we do have is as
sophisticated a justice

system as they do in the
rest of the country.

I'm sure.

You being from New York an' all...

might have the
impression that law is

practised with a degree
of informality here.

- It isn't.
- Right.

I tell you this
because I want you to

know that when it
comes to procedure...

I'm not a patient man.

Sir, when you come
into my courtroom, you

ought to know the
letter of the law.

I'll react harshly when you don't.

You should.

Being from New York won't
get you special treatment.

It shouldn't.

You won't. You'll be given
no leeway whatsoever.

I expect you to know
this information

when you come into my courtroom.

Right.

You willing to accept those terms?

Right. No problem.

Just this?

♪ And if you love him ♪

♪ Oh, be proud of him ♪

♪ Because after all,
he's just a man ♪

This is gonna be great.
Vinny's first case.

So? What can I do to help?

♪ Stand by your man ♪

Nothing?

♪ Give him two arms to cling to ♪

No.

♪ And something warm to come to ♪

♪ When nights are cold ♪

What the fuck is that?

(♪ "Are You Really Mine"
by Jimmie Rodgers)

Wanna sit at the counter?

Hey. How ya doing?

Listen, what's the story with this

incredibly, remarkably
loud whistle...

at 5.30 in the morning?

It's the steam whistle.

Over at the sawmill.

Tell folks it's time to get up.

You can hear it for miles.

- You all want something?
- Yeah.

- Breakfast?
- You think?

Good choice. Two.

Excuse me.

You guys down here
hear about the ongoing

cholesterol problem
in the country?

- What's this over here?
- You never heard of grits?

Sure. Sure, I heard of grits.

I just actually never
seen a grit before.

- Honey, you gonna try it?
- You first.

- What is a grit, anyway?
- It's made out of corn.

- Them hominy grits.
- Hominy.

How do you cook it?

Simmer it in water for
15 or 20 minutes...

put it on the plate
and add butter.

So? You gonna eat it or not?

Here?

- Is your attorney here?
- I am the attorney.

Oh. Jim Trotter the
Third. District

attorney of Beechum County.

Vincent La Guardia
Gambini. First. Brooklyn.

Nice to see you.

Yeah.

- Vinny.
- Hey.

All rise for His Honour
Judge Chamberlain Haller.

The court of Beechum
County is now in session.

Be seated.

First case. The people
of the State of

Alabama versus William
Robert Gambini...

and Stanley Marcus Rothenstein.

- "Steen." She called me "Stine".
- Just...

Counsellor, your clients
are charged with

first-degree murder.
How do they plead?

Your Honour, my clients...

Don't talk to me
sitting in that chair.

But he told me to sit here.

When you address this
court, you will rise...

and speak to me in a
clear, intelligible voice.

- Sorry. My clients...
- What are you wearing?

Huh?

- What are you wearing?
- I'm, wearing, clothes.

I don't get the question.

When you come into my court
looking like you do...

you not only insult me, but you

insult the integrity
of this court.

I apologise, sir, but
this is how I dress.

Next time you come into my

courtroom, you will
look lawyer-ly.

I mean, you comb your hair
and wear a suit and tie.

And that suit better be made
out of some kind of... cloth.

- You understand me?
- Yes. Fine, Judge. Fine.

Good. You may continue. How
do your clients plead?

My clients are caught
completely by surprise.

They thought they
were getting arrested

for shoplifting a can of tuna.

What are you telling me?
That they plead not guilty?

- No. I'm just trying to explain.
- I don't wanna hear explanations.

The State of Alabama
has its procedure.

And that procedure, at
this point in time, is

to have an arraignment.
Are we clear on this?

Yes. But there seems to be a
great deal of confusion here.

- Mr Gambini.
- You see, my clients...

Mr Gambini.

All the way?

All I ask from you
is a very simple

answer to a very simple question.

There are only two ways to answer:
"Guilty" or "not guilty".

But my clients didn't do anything.

Once again, the communication
process has broken down.

It appears to me that you want to
skip the arraignment process...

go directly to trial, skip
that, and get a dismissal.

Well, I'm not about to revamp
the entire judicial process...

just because you find yourself
in the unique position...

of defending clients who
say they didn't do it.

Now... the next words
out of your mouth are

either gonna be "guilty"
or "not guilty".

I don't wanna hear commentary,
argument or opinion.

If I hear anything other than
"guilty" or "not guilty"...

you'll be in contempt.

I don't even wanna hear
you clear your throat.

I hope I've been clear.

Now... how do your clients plead?

I think I get the point.

No. I don't think you do.

You're now in contempt of court.

Will you go for two
counts of contempt?

Not guilty.

Thank you.

Bail will be set at $200,000.

Preliminary hearing will be set
for 9.30 am tomorrow morning.

Bailiff, please take
Mr Gambini into

custody. His bail
will be set at $200.

Come with me, please.

All rise as the judge leaves.

You have to bail me out.
You know that, right?

Let's go.

They're gonna nuke this
guy Norton this weekend.

Looks like it.

You got one huge responsibility,
taking on this murder case.

You screw up and those
boys get fried.

I know.

So you think you know
what you're doing?

Yeah, I think I know
what I'm doing.

You didn't look like
you knew what you were

doing today in that
courtroom. Why is that?

Well, it's a lot of procedure,
that's all. I'll learn it as I go.

- Learn as you go?
- Yeah, yeah.

Didn't they teach
that in law school?

No, they didn't.

They teach you contracts,
precedence, interpretations.

Then the firm that hires you,
they teach you procedures.

Or you can go to court and watch.

So why don't you go
to court and watch?

Because, between your
father's garage and

working nights, when
was I supposed to go?

I thought this summer I would
take off a couple of months.

But it ain't no big deal.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.

How can you be so
sure when you don't

know what it is you're
supposed to know?

It's a procedure. Like rebuilding
a carburettor has a procedure.

You know how the first
thing you do is you

take the carburettor
off the manifold?

Suppose you skip the first
step, and as you're

replacing one of the
jets, you drop the jet.

It goes down, rolls
along the manifold

and into the head. You're fucked.

You've learnt the
hard way that you

got to remove the
carburettor first.

That's what happened to me
today. I learnt the hard way.

Actually, it was a good
learning experience for me.

All right. Well, is
there any way I could

help out in this
procedure situation?

Yeah. Keep bailing me out.

We can't afford to
keep bailing you out.

I've cashed in half the
traveller's cheques.

I didn't wanna cash them in, but
I didn't wanna bounce a cheque.

I tried hustling the money, but
I got stiffed, so I cashed...

Whoa, whoa. What do
you mean, you got

stiffed? Did you say
you got stiffed?

♪ Because I'll always
come back to you ♪

♪ If it ain't none of
your business, baby ♪

♪ You better keep it ♪

Hey. Vincent La Guardia Gambini.

- His name's JT.
- JT.

I believe you and
Lisa played a game

of pool for $200, which she won.

I'm here to collect.

How about if I just kick your ass?

Oh, a counter-offer?

- That's what we lawyers...
- I'm a lawyer...

we lawyers call that
a "counter-offer".

Let me see. This is
a tough decision.

Get my ass kicked or collect $200?

What do you think?

I could use a good ass kicking,
I'll be very honest with you.

Nah, I think I'll
just go with the 200.

Over my dead body.

You like to renegotiate
as you go along, huh?

Ok, then. Here's my counter-offer.

Do I have to kill you?
What if I was just

to kick the ever loving
shit out of you?

- In your dreams.
- No, no, no. In reality.

If I was to kick the shit out
of you, do I get the money?

If you kicked the shit out of me?

Yeah.

Yeah, then you get the money.

- What happened? Rear-ended?
- No, I fell.

Oh.

Ok. Let's see if we
agree on the terms.

The choice now is I
get my ass kicked...

or, option B, I kick your
ass and collect the 200.

I'm going with option B. Kicking
your ass and collecting $200.

Are we gonna fight now?

Yeah. First, let me see the money.

I have the money.

All right. Let me see
it. Show it to me.

- I can get it.
- You can get it?

All right. Get it.

And then we'll fight.

You fell in your place
or somebody else's?

- My place.
- Shit.

He blew the arraignment.
It's a simple procedure.

You heard the judge. All he had to

do was say "guilty"
or "not guilty".

So? What are you saying?

What am I saying? You
saw what happened in

there. You wanna stay
with him after that?

Shit, Stan. I don't
wanna fire him.

He's family. And my mother, the
way her health is right now...

I appreciate that. But
should you die for that?

Wouldn't your mother be
more upset if you die?

The thing is, given the chance,
I think he could do a good job.

No, you're wrong.

Come on, fellas, knock
it off. Let's go.

Stan, listen. You have to
see the Gambinis in action.

These people, they love to argue.
I mean, they live to argue.

My parents argue, too, that
doesn't make them lawyers.

Stan, I've seen your parents
argue. Trust me, they're amateurs.

Is that a drip I hear?

Yeah.

Weren't you the last one
to use the bathroom?

So?

- Did you use the faucet?
- Yeah.

- Then why didn't you turn it off?
- I did turn it off.

Well, if you turned it off,
why am I listening to it?

Did it occur to you it could be

turned off and drip
at the same time?

No. If you turned it
off, it wouldn't drip.

Maybe it's broken.

Is that what you're
saying? It's broken?

Yeah, that's it. It's broken.

- You sure?
- I'm positive.

Maybe you didn't twist
it hard enough?

I twisted it just right.

How could you be so sure?

If you will look in
the manual, you will

see that this particular
model faucet...

requires a range of 10 to
16 foot-pounds of torque.

I routinely twist to
maximum-allowable torquage.

How could you be sure you used
16 foot-pounds of torque?

Because I used a Craftsman model
1019 laboratory edition...

Signature Series torque wrench.

The kind used by Caltech
high-energy physicists...

and NASA engineers.

Well, in that case, how could
you be sure that's accurate?

Because a split second
before the torque

wrench was applied to
the faucet handle...

it had been calibrated
by top members...

of the state and
federal department

of weights and measures...

to be dead-on balls accurate.

Here's a certificate
of validation.

Dead-on balls accurate?

It's an industry term.

I guess the fucking
thing is broken.

We got to move.

Then I heard two loud
bangs, like firecrackers.

I looked up and saw two young men
run out from the Sac-o-Suds...

and jump into a green car with
a white convertible top...

and drive off like the dickens.

Miss Riley, are those two young
men present in the courtroom?

Yes, sir. They are.

Could you point them
out for me, please?

They sitting right there.

Now, Mrs Riley, is this the car?

- Yes, sir. It is.
- Thank you, madam.

Let the records show Mrs Constance

Riley identified the
defendants' car.

I was making my breakfast.

I saw them two boys
go into the store.

Then later I heard a gunshot.

Looked out the window.

They were running out. Got
into the car and drove off.

Is this the car?

Yes. It is.

Thank you, sir.

Then you saw those two
boys run out of the

Sac-o-Suds, jump in
this car and take off?

Yeah. They peeled away. Car
was all over the road.

Thank you, sir.

I asked him if he did it, and
he said "I shot the clerk."

I asked him again, and again
he said "I shot the clerk."

Your Honour, no further questions.

- Mr Gambini.
- Yes.

- Do you have anything to add?
- Thing? What thing?

Not for me to say.

No, sir.

You can stand down.

- Do you have any other witnesses?
- No, Your Honour.

The court finds
sufficient evidence

exists for this matter
to go to trial.

I'm setting this matter for trial
this Monday, February 2, 10 am.

Mr Gambini.

Stand up.

Now, didn't I tell you
next time you appear

in my courtroom that you
dress appropriately?

You were serious about that?

Why didn't you ask
them any questions?

Questions? Ask who questions?

You knew you could ask
questions. Didn't you, Vin?

If you'd put up a fight, you could
have gotten the case thrown out.

Hey, Stan. You're in
Ala-fucking-bama.

You come from New York. You
killed a good old boy.

There is no way this
is not going to trial.

What the fuck is going
on here, Vinny?

You fucking up this case or what?

I told you. It's just procedure.
I'm bound to fuck up a little.

A little? You got
thrown in jail. Twice.

Hey. I know I was in jail. I don't

need you to point
it out to me, ok?

You're my fiancée. You're
supposed to stand by your man.

You know, encourage me a little
bit. A little encouragement.

Is that what you want? I'm sorry.
You were wonderful in there.

The way you handled that judge...
You're a smooth talker. You are.

All right, knock it
off. Knock it off.

Do you think I like
fucking up? Is that it?

You ragging on me
is not gonna give

me any great
spontaneous knowledge.

- Yeah?
- So shut it.

- You done reading?
- Yeah.

Do you wanna go to bed?

I don't know. I don't feel good.

You shouldn't feel good. You
haven't slept much in three days.

That's part of it.
You know what it is?

I'm really scared.

You should be.

How the fuck did I
get into this shit?

"Oh, sure. No problem.
I could win the case."

I already got myself
sent to jail twice.

I could win this thing,
though. I know I could.

If I could keep my ass
awake and out of jail

long enough, betcha I could, huh?

You know what I think? Honestly?

I think that once you're out there
and you're doing your thing...

I think you're gonna
be really great.

Really great.

If...

you don't fuck up.

If this was a conspiracy, they'd

have to get all those
people to lie.

Do you think that's
what's happening?

Look, I think we
should meet with the

public defender. See
what he's like.

If he's honest, then
we should go with him.

All right.

- That's death row in there.
- It is?

The chair ain't working
like it used to.

The guy we fried
last week, took us

three attempts and his
head caught fire.

See, there's no money in the
budget to get it looked at.

I say it'd be cheaper
to get it fixed than

keeping running up them
extra electric bills.

Hi, Stanley.

My name is John Gibbons...

and I'm an attorney in the
public defender's office.

- Hi, John.
- Hey.

Now, the evidence against
you is pretty strong, so...

why don't you just tell me
your side of the story?

- Hey, Vin.
- Hey, Billy.

How are ya?

- How do you feel? Ok?
- All right.

- Where's Stan?
- Stan, he's not coming.

He's...

Well, he wants to go with
the public defender.

Listen, Vin...

I'm going with the
public defender, too.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
I just didn't know

what little experience
you have with this.

- What, are you scared?
- Yeah, I'm scared.

Maybe I could have handled the
preliminary a little better.

But what's most important
is winning the case.

I could do it. I really could.

Let me tell you how, ok?

The DA's got to build
a case. Building

a case is like building a house.

Each piece of evidence
is a building block.

He wants to make a brick
bunker of a building.

He wants to use
serious, solid-looking

bricks, like these, right?

- Right.
- Let me show you something.

He's gonna show you
the bricks. He'll

show you they got straight sides.

He'll show you how they
got the right shape.

He'll show them to you
in a very special way...

so that they appear to have
everything a brick should have.

But there's one thing
he's not gonna show you.

When you look at the
bricks at the right

angle, they're as thin
as this playing card.

His whole case is an
illusion, a magic trick.

It has to be an illusion,
cos you're innocent.

Nobody, I mean nobody,
pulls the wool over

the eyes of a Gambini.
Especially this one.

Give me the chance. One chance.

Let me question the first witness.

If, after that point, you
don't think that I'm the

best man for the job,
fire me then and there.

I'll leave quietly. No grudges.

All I ask is for that one chance.

I think you should give it to me.

You should give it
to him? What was he

before he was a lawyer?
A fucking comedian?

If he doesn't ask the right
questions, your lawyer will.

No, he can still fuck things up.

Cross-examination is about knowing
what to say and what not to say.

Let's say he asks all
the possible questions,

and the witness has
all the answers.

He ends up proving the
prosecution's case.

How did he ever talk you into it?

At my cousin Ruthie's wedding, the

groom's brother was
that guy Ali Kazam.

- You know who I'm talking about?
- The magician with the ponytail?

Right. He did his act,
and every time he made

something disappear,
Vinny jumped on him.

He nailed him. It
was like "It's in

his pocket" or "He's palming it."

Or "There's a mirror
under the table."

He was like "Wait.
It's joined in the

middle and there's a
spring around it."

"It pops it open when
it's inside the tube."

It was like Ali Kazam's
worst nightmare.

But he was just being Vinny.

He was just being the
quintessential Gambini.

There goes the
quintessential Norton.

Lookee here, JT.

Hey, hey, little Yankee
boy. Look here what I got.

- What is it?
- $200.

Bring it here. Let me see it.

How do I know that's
not a bunch of

ones with a 20 wrapped around it?

- It's 200 bucks.
- Fan it out. Show it to me.

Yeah, right.

Does that freight train come
through at 5 am every morning?

No, sir. It's very unusual.

Ok.

I was making a lot of money,
winning most of my cases.

Thank you, Shirley.

But my clients were
guilty as hell.

Finally, after getting
this fella off some

serious charges for
the fourth time...

I tell you the truth, my
conscience got to me.

I'd be serving justice more by
putting the guilty in jail.

That's what I've been doing
and... I'm a happier man for it.

How about you?

Well, I got a bullshit
traffic ticket.

In court, I got the
cop on the stand...

and argued with him until
he admitted he was wrong.

And...

the judge, this Judge Malloy...

all the while, he's
laughing and smiling...

and then, afterwards, he asked
me to go to lunch with him.

Then he says to me "You know what?
You'd be a good litigator."

I don't know what the
hell he was talking

about. I don't know
what a litigator is.

I never thought of
becoming a lawyer. But

Judge Malloy was
from Brooklyn, too.

I mean, he did it. So all of
a sudden it seemed possible.

So I went to law school.

Then from time to time,
he would come by,

see how I was doing,
if I needed anything.

He was a nice man.

I mean, to go out of his way
like that for me, you know?

He wanted his son to
follow in his footsteps,

but he became a
musician or something.

I remember when I graduated,
he was so proud of me.

That's quite a story.

Yeah.

We got some case ahead
of us here, huh?

Oh, yeah.

- How do you feel about it?
- Oh, well, I...

I'd like to have a murder weapon.

But, other than that,
I feel pretty good.

- You do?
- Oh, yeah.

What you doing this afternoon?

- You're going hunting?
- That's right.

Why are you going
hunting? Shouldn't

you be preparing for court?

I was thinking last night "If only
I knew what he knows." You know?

If he'd let me look at
his files. Oh, boy.

I don't get it. What
does getting to

Trotter's files have
to do with hunting?

Well, you know. Two guys out in
the woods, guns, on the hunt.

It's a bonding thing, you know.
Show him I'm one of the boys.

He won't let me see
his files, but maybe

he'll relax enough
to drop his guard...

so that I can finesse a little
information out of him.

- What am I gonna wear?
- What are you gonna hunt?

I don't know. He's got a lot of
stuffed heads in his office.

Heads? What kind of heads?

I don't know. He's got a boar,
a bear, a couple of deer.

Whoa. You're gonna shoot a deer?

I don't know. I
suppose. I mean, I'm a

man's man. I could
go deer hunting.

A sweet, innocent, harmless,
leaf-eating, doe-eyed little deer.

Hey, Lisa. I'm not gonna go out
there just to wimp out, you know?

I mean, the guy'll
lose respect for

me. Would you rather have that?

What about these pants I got
on? You think they're ok?

Oh.

Imagine you're a deer.

You're prancing along. You get
thirsty. You spot a little brook.

You put your little deer lips
down to the cool, clear water.

Bam. A fucking bullet rips
off part of your head.

Your brains are laying on the
ground in little bloody pieces.

Would you give a fuck
what kind of pants...

the son of a bitch who
shot you was wearing?

I'd sure like to get a
look at your files.

- You would?
- Sure.

You got a Xerox
machine over there?

No.

Oh. That's ok. I'll have
my secretary do it.

Shirley, can you Xerox
all the files on the

Gambini/Rothenstein
case for Mr Gambini?

Yeah. Thanks, sweetheart.

- What's all that?
- Trotter's files. All of them.

- You stole his files?
- I didn't steal his files.

Listen to this. I'm just
ready to finesse him.

I'm starting to finesse
him. I got him going.

He offers to have his secretary
copy everything for me.

That's very impressive finessing.

That's not all.

He's letting us use his hunting
cabin when he gets back.

It's in the woods. It's quiet. He

sleeps like a baby
when he's there.

Terrific. You're a helluva bonder.

What's this? Are you
reading this book?

Yeah.

Do me a favour, ok?
Don't read this book.

Ok? Thank you very much.

All right.

Don't you wanna know why
Trotter gave you his files?

I told you why already.

He has to by law. You're entitled.

It's called disclosure,
you dickhead.

He has to show you everything,
otherwise it could be a mistrial.

He has to give you
a list of all his

witnesses. You can talk
to all his witnesses.

He's not allowed any surprises.

They didn't teach you that
in law school either?

Now let me ask you this.

How many levels of thickness
have you gone through?

- What'd you have for breakfast?
- Well...

What's that brown... stuff?

Huh?

Yesterday you told me
that freight train

hardly ever comes
through here at 5 am.

I know. She's supposed to come
through at ten after four.

Can you participate in
this, in which the

final decision may be
death by electrocution?

Madam?

I think it should
be left up to the

victims' families,
rather than the courts.

Huh?

The defendants in
this case are charged

with robbing a convenience store.

And then, in a most
cowardly fashion,

shooting the clerk in the back.

Now, if sufficient
evidence is offered to

prove these facts, you
think you could...

Fry them.

She'll do.

Mr Gambini. Come in. Come in.

I just got a fax from the New York
State Office of Judicial Records.

They have no records...

of any Vincent Gambini
ever trying any

case in the entire
state of New York.

You're not gonna find
any records of Vincent

La Guardia Gambini
practising in any courts.

- I just told you that.
- You don't understand.

See, 20 years ago,
I became a actor.

There was this prominent
stage actor in

New York. His name
was Vincent Gambini.

- Maybe you heard of him.
- No.

Never heard of him?
Doesn't matter. Anyway, I

had to change my name,
which I did legally.

So now I practise law under my
legally changed stage name.

- What name is that?
- Jerry Ga...

Jerry Gallo.

You can still call me Gambini.

Sorry.

- What name did you tell him?
- Jerry Gallo.

- Jerry Gallo? The big attorney?
- Yeah.

Think that was a smart move?

Yeah. He's a seriously
accomplished lawyer.

His name'll show up
all over the place.

His name was in the
papers all last week.

I saw that.

You didn't actually
read the articles?

No.

- That's too bad.
- Why is that?

Cos he's dead.

What's the matter with you?

I dunno.

You're acting like you're nervous.

Well, yeah. I am.

Why? I'm the one that's under the
gun. The trial starts tomorrow.

You wanna know what I'm
nervous about? I'll tell you.

I am in the dark
here with this legal

crap. I have no idea
what's going on.

All's I know is you're
screwing up and I can't help.

You lent me your little
camera, didn't ya?

Oh, Vinny.

I'm watching you go down
in flames, bringing

me with you, and I can't
do anything about it.

And?

I hate to bring it up, I know
you got enough pressure on you,

but we agreed to get married
when you won your first case.

Meanwhile, ten years
later, my niece, the

daughter of my sister,
is getting married.

My biological clock is
ticking like this...

and the way this case is going,
I ain't never getting married.

Lisa, I don't need
this. I swear to

God, I do not need
this right now, ok?

I got a judge that's just
aching to throw me in jail.

An idiot who wants to
fight me for $200.

Slaughtered pigs.
Giant loud whistles.

I ain't slept in five days.

I got no money. A
dress-code problem.

And a little murder
case which, in the

balance, holds the lives
of two innocent kids.

Not to mention your...

biological clock, my career,
your life, our marriage...

and let me see, what
else can we pile on?

Is there any more
shit we can pile on

to the top of the
outcome of this case?

Is it possible?

Maybe it was a bad
time to bring it up.

What the fuck is that?

This is very romantic.

Out here in this field...

under the stars...

quiet.

No one around for miles.

It's very romantic.

I don't see no stars.

Honey, move. My back.

I have to get up.

Wait. Let me...

This fucking jacket.

Fuck.

- Oh.
- You ok?

What was in that plastic
thing in the trunk?

It's your suit.

What is my suit
doing in the trunk?

I had it cleaned.

I thought it'd be a nice surprise,
go in there with a clean suit.

I have 30 fucking minutes
to take a shower,

get a new suit and get
to the courthouse.

You fucking shower, I'll
get your fucking suit.

Hey, hey, little Yankee wuss.

Lookee here. Got your $200.

You gonna kick the
shit out of me now?

Mr Gambini, are you mocking
me with that outfit?

Mocking you? I'm not
mocking you, Judge.

Then explain that... outfit.

I bought a suit. You seen it.
Now it's covered in mud.

This town doesn't have a one-hour

cleaners, so I had
to buy a new suit.

Except that the only
store you could

buy a new suit in has got the flu.

You get that? The whole
store got the flu.

So I had to get this in
a second-hand store.

So, it's either wear
the leather jacket

which I know you hate, or this.

So I wore this...

ridiculous thing for you.

Are you on drugs?

Drugs? No. I don't take drugs.

- I don't like your attitude.
- What else is new?

I'm holding you in
contempt of court.

There's a fucking surprise.

- What'd you say?
- What?

What'd you just say?

What'd I say? What?

Your Honour...

counsel, members of the jury.

The evidence in this
case is gonna show that

at 9.30 in the morning
of January 4th...

both defendants, Stanley
Rothenstein and William Gambini...

were seen getting out of their...

metallic green 1964 Buick Skylark
convertible with a white top.

It's gonna show they
were seen entering the

Sac-o-Suds convenience
store in Wazoo City.

The evidence is gonna
show that, minutes

after they entered
the Sac-o-Suds...

a gunshot was heard by
three eyewitnesses.

You will then hear the testimony
of the three eyewitnesses...

who saw the defendants
running out of the

Sac-o-Suds just after
the shots were heard...

getting into their faded
metallic green 1964

Buick Skylark and driving
off in great haste.

Finally, the state is
gonna prove that the

defendants, Gambini
and Rothenstein...

admitted then recanted
their testimony

to the sheriff of Beechum County.

Now let's get down to it.

Your verdict is gonna
depend on what

you think of the sworn testimony.

Not what I think. What
I think don't count.

You're the jury. It's your job to
decide who's telling the truth.

Truth. That's what
"verdict" means.

It's a word that
comes down from old

England, and all our
little old ancestors.

Now, we're gonna be asking
you to return a verdict...

of murder in the first degree
for William Gambini...

and a verdict of accessory to
murder in the first degree...

for Stanley Rothenstein...

for helping Gambini commit
this heinous crime.

Counsellor, you wish to
make an opening statement?

Counsellor?

- Vinny.
- What?

Come on, it's time to make
your opening statement.

Come on, Vin.

Everything that guy
said is bullshit.

Thank you.

Objection, Your Honour. Counsel's

entire opening
statement is argument.

Objection sustained. The
entire opening statement...

with the exception of "thank you",
will be stricken from the record.

The jury will please disregard

counsel's entire
opening statement.

And you, Mr Gambini...

will not use that kinda language
in my court. Understand?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Putz.

Counsellor. Your statement, sir.

Well, now.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the j-j-j...

of-of the j-j-j...

jury.

On-on...

On January f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f...

fourth of this year, my client did

indeed visit the
Sac-o-Suds c... co...

convenience store.

But...

he didn't...

kill anyone. He...

We intend to prove
that the p-p-p-p-p...

prosecution's case is
circumstantial and-and...

coincidental. Thank you.

That's it? What about
everything we talked about?

- I get a little nervous...
- A little?

I'm getting better.

I heard a gunshot, so I
looked out the window...

and I seen them two boys run
out, get into their car...

and drive off like
maniacs, their tyres

screeching, smoking,
going up on the kerb.

Is this the car?

- Yes, sir.
- Thank you, sir.

No further questions, Your Honour.

Your witness.

All right. Mr, T-T-T...

Tipton.

Now, when you viewed my clients...

- how far away were you?
- About 50 feet.

Now, do you think
that that's close

enough to make an accurate...

I-I-i-identification?

Yes.

Mr Tipton, I see you
wear eyeglasses.

Sometimes.

Would you care to
show those eyeglasses

to the jury, please? Thank you.

Thank you. Mr Tipton, were
you wearing them that day?

- No.
- You see.

You were 50 feet away, you made a

positive eyewitness
identification...

and-and yet...

you were not wearing your
necessary prescription eyeglasses.

They're reading glasses.

Well...

Mr...

Could you tell the court what
colour eyes the defendants have?

Brown. Hazel green.

No more questions.

Mr Gambini. Your witness.

- He's a tough one.
- Yes.

Mr Tipton.

When you viewed the defendants...

walking from their car
into the Sac-o-Suds,

what angle was your point of view?

They was kind of walking toward
me when they entered the store.

And when they left, what angle
was your point of view?

They was kind of
walking away from me.

So would you say you
got a better shot of

them going in, and not
so much coming out?

You could say that.

I did say that.
Would you say that?

Yeah.

Is it possible the two youths...

Two what?

What was that word?

- What word?
- Two what?

- What?
- Did you say "yoots"?

- Yeah. "Two youths."
- What is a yoot?

Oh. Excuse me, Your Honour.

Two youths.

Is it possible the
two defendants...

entered the store, picked 22
specific items off the shelves...

had the clerk take money,
make change, then leave.

Then, two different men
drive up in a similar...

Don't shake your head.
Wait till you hear

the whole thing so
you can understand.

Two different men drive up
in a similar-looking car...

go in, shoot the clerk,
rob him and then leave?

No. They didn't have enough time.

How much time was
they in the store?

Five minutes.

Five minutes? Did you
look at your watch?

No.

Oh, I'm sorry. You
testified earlier

that the boys went
into the store...

and you had just begun
to make breakfast.

You were just ready to eat
and you heard a gunshot.

So obviously it takes
you five minutes

to make breakfast,
so you knew that.

- Do you remember what you had?
- Eggs and grits.

Eggs and grits. I like grits, too.

How do you cook your
grits? You like

them regular, creamy or al dente?

- Just regular, I guess.
- Regular. Instant grits?

No self respecting Southerner uses

instant grits. I take
pride in my grits.

So, Mr Tipton.

How could it take you five
minutes to cook your grits...

when it takes the entire
grit-eating world 20 minutes?

I dunno. I'm a fast cook, I guess.

I'm sorry, I was over
here. I couldn't hear.

Did you say you're a
fast cook? That's it?

Are we to believe that
boiling water soaks

into a grit faster
in your kitchen...

than on any place on
the face of the earth?

I don't know.

Perhaps the laws of physics
cease to exist on your stove.

Were these magic grits?

Did you buy them from the same guy
who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?

- Objection, Your Honour.
- Sustained.

Are you sure about
that five minutes?

I don't know.

I think you made your point.

Are you sure about
that five minutes?

I may have been mistaken.

I got no more use for this guy.

You're fired.

I want him.

Come on, now. Move it.

Don't worry. I'll bail you out.

Don't. I'm gonna stay
in prison tonight.

Maybe I can finally get some
sleep. I'm doing good, huh?

Hey, how ya doing?

Hey, Mr Crane. What are
these pictures of?

- My house and stuff.
- House and stuff.

And what is this brown
stuff on the windows?

- Dirt.
- Dirt.

What is this rusty, dusty, dirty
looking thing over your window?

- It's a screen.
- A screen.

It's a screen.

What are these really big things

right in the middle
of your view...

from the window of your
kitchen to the Sac-o-Suds?

What do we call these big things?

- Trees?
- Trees, that's right.

Don't be afraid. Just shout
them out when you know.

Now, what are these thousands of
little things that are on trees?

- Leaves.
- Leaves.

And these bushy things
between the trees?

- Bushes.
- Bushes.

So, Mr Crane.

You could positively identify the

defendants for a moment
of two seconds...

looking through this
dirty window...

this crud-covered screen...

these trees with all
these leaves on them...

and I don't know how many bushes.

Looks like five.

Don't forget this
one and this one.

Seven bushes.

Seven bushes. So,
what do you think?

Is it possible you just saw two
guys in a green convertible...

and not necessarily these
two particular guys?

- I suppose.
- I'm finished with this guy.

Mrs Riley, when you
saw the defendants,

were you wearing your glasses?

Yes, I was.

Over here, dear.

Would you mind putting your
glasses on for us, please?

Whoa. How long you
been wearing glasses?

Since I was six.

Have they always been that thick?

Oh, no. They got thicker
over the years.

So as your eyes have
gotten more and more

out of whack as you've
gotten older...

how many different levels of
thickness have you gone through?

Oh, I don't know. Over sixty
years, maybe ten times.

Maybe you're ready
for a thicker set.

Oh, no. No, I think they ok.

Maybe we should make sure.
Let's check it out.

Now, how far were the
defendants from you

when you saw them
entering the Sac-o-Suds?

- About 100 feet.
- 100 feet.

Would you hold this,
please? Thank you.

Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.

Ok. This is 50 feet.
That's half the distance.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Let the records show that counsel
is holding up two fingers.

Your Honour, please, huh?

Oh. Sorry.

Now, Mrs Riley...

and only Mrs Riley...

how many fingers am
I holding up now?

Four.

What do you think now, dear?

Oh.

I'm thinking of getting
thicker glasses.

Thank you.

Hello.

You did good out
there today, Yankee.

I like the competition.
You like competition,

too? Makes things kinda
fun, doesn't it?

I'm enjoying myself so far.

I got a little surprise
for you tomorrow.

What's that? You know you have to
disclose all your evidence to me.

I just got it myself. I'll
disclose it first thing

in the morning. Judge
gonna have to admit it.

- Should I be worried?
- I sure would be if I were you.

Honey, where did you read about
all that disclosure shit?

Let me show you. Why?

I'm a special
automotive instructor

of forensic studies for the FBI.

How long you been
in that position?

18 years.

Your Honour. May we
approach the bench, please?

If you wish.

I object to this witness
being called at this time.

We've been given no prior
notice he'd testify,

no discovery of any
tests he's conducted...

and the defence is
entitled to advance

notice of any witness
who will testify...

particularly those giving
scientific evidence,

so we can prepare for
cross-examination...

and to give the defence
an opportunity to

have reports reviewed
by a defence expert...

who might then be in a position to

contradict the veracity
of his conclusions.

- Mr Gambini.
- Yes, sir.

That is a lucid, intelligent,
well thought-out objection.

- Thank you, Your Honour.
- Overruled.

Now, Mr Wilbur.

These are photos of tyres
belonging to the defendants' car.

And these are photos
of the tyre marks left

by the assailants' car
as it fled the store.

Now, are you familiar with these?

Yes, I am.

Huh. Could you
elaborate, please, sir?

We compared the tyre marks
outside the convenience store...

with the rear tyres of
the defendants' car.

They're the same
model and size tyre.

Michelin model XGV, size
75R, 14-inch wheel.

They're the same
size and model tyre.

- Anything else, sir?
- Yes, indeed.

The car, leaving the
convenience store,

spun its rear tyres
dramatically...

and left a residue of
rubber on the asphalt.

Now, I took a sample of that
rubber and analysed it.

I also took a sample
of the rubber...

from the rear tyres
of the defendants'

Buick and analysed that, too.

What kind of equipment did
you use to find this out?

I used a Hewlett-Packard 57-10A...

dual-column gas chromatograph
with flame analysation detectors.

Huh. Is that thing turbocharged?

Only on the floor models.

Now, Mr Wilbur. What was the
result of your analysis?

The chemical composition
between the

two samples was found
to be identical.

Identical.

No further questions, Your Honour.

- Your Honour.
- Thank you, Mr Wilbur.

Court'll take a 60-minute
recess for lunch.

Your Honour, I respectfully
request a full

day's continuance to
go over this stuff.

- Request denied.
- Thanks a lot.

- And, Mr Gambini.
- Yes, sir?

I'd like to speak to
you in my chambers.

- You're a dead man.
- I'm a dead man?

I faxed the clerk of
New York and asked

him what he knew
about Jerry Gallo.

You wanna know what he replied?

- Did you say "Jerry Gallo"?
- Yes, I did.

- Gallo with a G?
- That's right.

Jerry Gallo's dead.

- I'm aware of that.
- Well, I'm not Jerry Gallo.

I'm Jerry Callo. C-A-L-L-O.

All right.

All right.

Let's get this cleared
up right now.

Hello. This is Judge
Chamberlain Haller.

Can I speak to the clerk?

Ok. I'll be here.

He's gonna call back after three.

That gives you a
stay of execution.

Unless by some miracle
you happen to

win this case in the
next 90 minutes.

Why don't you go to lunch?

Thanks.

- I got my pictures back.
- Oh, good.

What'd the judge say?

He said he found out
that Gallo is dead.

He found out. What'd he say?

Lisa... I'm trying to think about
the case now, ok? I'm sorry.

- Can I help?
- "Can I help?"

No, you can't help. I wish
you could, but you can't.

Ok, you're looking at me. What
is that look supposed to mean?

I'm a piece of shit cos I can't
figure out a way for you to help?

Ok, you're helping.
I'll use your pictures.

These are gonna be... I'm sorry.
These are gonna be a help.

I should have looked at
these pictures before.

I like this. This
is our first hotel

room, right? That'll
intimidate Trotter.

Here's one of me from behind.

I didn't think I could feel worse

than I did a second
ago. Thank you.

Here's a good one
of the tyre marks.

Could we get any farther away?

Where'd you shoot this
from? Up in a tree?

What's this over here?

It's dog shit. Dog
shit. That's great.

Dog shit. What a clue. Why
didn't I think of that?

Here's one of me reading.
I should've asked

you a long time ago
for these pictures.

Holy shit. You got it, honey.

You did it. The case
cracker: Me in the shower.

I love this. That's it.

That is it. I'm out of here.

Lisa.

Lisa.

I'm sorry.

Fuck.

I know I'm missing something.

Did you find anything?

Very, very little.

- Something?
- Nothing.

Is it possible that two
separate cars could

be driving on Michelin
model XGV 75R-14s?

- Of course.
- Let me ask you this.

What's the best-selling
single model tyre

being sold in the
United States today?

The Michelin XGV.

And what's the most popular size?

75R-14.

The same size as on
the defendants' car.

But two faded green 1964
Buick Skylark convertibles?

Excuse me. What I'm asking you...

is if the most popular size
of the most popular tyre...

is on the defendants' car?

Well...

yeah.

Yes.

Thank you.

No further questions.

The witness can stand down.

Counsel.

Yeah. Prosecution rests.

Mr Gambini. Your first witness.

Mr Gambini.

I will ask you one more time,
and one more time only.

- If I ask you again...
- Your Honour...

Please, can I have a
five-minute recess?

My next witness is not
in the courtroom.

Three minutes. No more.

Sheriff, do me a favour.
Please trace this.

It's not my job. Do
your own investigating.

Please. I only have three minutes.

Lisa. Lisa, please. I'm
sorry. I'm sorry, ok?

I need you in the courtroom,
and I need the phone.

Honey, come on.
Stop it. I need the

phone. We have to make
up. Let's make up.

We got to go back inside.
Everybody's waiting for us.

- We don't have a lot of time.
- Shut up.

- Gimme this.
- Fuck you.

What is it with you
with that mouth?

Mr Gambini. Tell me why.

Lisa, I need your help.

I don't give a shit.
Leave me alone.

Come on, I found it.

Your Honour, the
defence calls as its

first witness Miss Mona Lisa Vito.

Oh, I object, Your Honour. This
person is not on the witness list.

This witness is a
automobile expert...

and is being called to rebut the
testimony of George Wilbur.

Your Honour, would you
instruct the bailiff

to escort Miss Vito
to the witness stand?

Hold up your right hand. Do you
swear to tell the truth...

the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth?

Yeah.

Miss Vito. You're
supposed to be some kinda

expert in automobiles.
Is that correct?

Is that correct?

Will you please
answer the counsel?

No. I hate him.

Your Honour, may I treat Miss
Vito as a hostile witness?

You think I'm hostile now,
wait till you see me tonight.

- Do you two know each other?
- Yeah, she's my fiancée.

Well, that would certainly
explain the hostility.

I object to this witness.
Improper foundation.

I'm not aware of this
person's qualifications.

I'd like to voir dire this witness
as to the extent of her expertise.

Granted.

Mr Trotter, you may proceed.

Miss Vito, what's your
current profession?

- I'm an out-of-work hairdresser.
- Out-of-work hairdresser.

Now, in what way does that qualify
you as an expert in automobiles?

It doesn't.

Well, in what way
are you qualified?

Well, my father was a mechanic.

His father was a mechanic. My
mother's father was a mechanic.

My three brothers are mechanics.
Four uncles on my father's side...

Miss Vito, your family's
obviously qualified.

But, have you ever
worked as a mechanic?

Yeah. In my father's garage, yeah.

As a mechanic?

What'd you do in your
father's garage?

Tune-ups, oil changes,
brake relining...

engine rebuilds,
rebuilds on trannies...

ok. Ok. But does
being an ex-mechanic

qualify you as being
expert on tyre marks?

No. Thank you. Goodbye.

Sit down and stay there
until you're told to leave.

Your Honour. Miss Vito's expertise

is in general
automotive knowledge.

It is in this area that her
testimony will be applicable.

Now, if Mr Trotter wishes
to voir dire the witness...

as to the extent of her
expertise in this area...

I'm sure he's gonna be
more than satisfied.

Ok.

All right. All right.

Now, Miss Vito.

Being an expert on general
automotive knowledge...

can you tell me...

what would the correct
ignition timing

be on a 1955 Bel Air Chevrolet...

with a 327 cubic-inch engine...

and a four-barrel carburettor?

That's a bullshit question.

Does that mean that
you can't answer it?

It's impossible to answer.

Because you don't know the answer.

Nobody could answer that question.

Your Honour, I move to disqualify
Miss Vito as a expert witness.

- Can you answer the question?
- No. It is a trick question.

Why is it a trick question?

Watch this.

Cos Chevy didn't
make a 327 in '55.

The 327 didn't come out till '62.

And it wasn't offered
in the Bel Air

with a four-barrel carb till '64.

However, in 1964 the
correct ignition timing...

would be four degrees
before top, dead centre.

Well...

She's acceptable, Your Honour.

Your Honour, this
is a picture taken

by my fiancée outside
the Sac-o-Suds.

Can we agree on this?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

I'd like to submit this picture
of the tyre tracks as evidence.

Mr Trotter.

No objection, Your Honour.

Miss Vito. Did you
take this picture?

You know I did.

- And what is this picture of?
- You know what it's of.

Miss Vito, it has been
argued by me, the defence...

that two sets of
guys met up at the

Sac-o-Suds, at the same time...

driving identical
metallic mint-green

1964 Buick Skylark convertibles.

Now, can you tell us, by what
you see in this picture...

if the defence's case holds water?

Miss Vito. Please
answer the question.

Does the defence's
case hold water?

No.

The defence is wrong.

- Are you sure?
- I'm positive.

How could you be so sure?

Because there is no
way that these tyre

marks were made by a
'64 Buick Skylark.

These marks were made by
a 1963 Pontiac Tempest.

Objection. Can we
clarify whether the

witness is stating
opinion or fact?

- This is your opinion?
- It's a fact.

I find it hard to believe that
this kind of information...

could be ascertained simply
by looking at a picture.

Would you like me to explain?

- I would love to hear this.
- So would I.

The car that made these
two equal-length

tyre marks had positraction.

Can't make those marks
without positraction,

which was not available
on the '64 Skylark.

And why not? What is positraction?

It's a limited slip
differential...

which distributes power equally
to both the right and left tyres.

The '64 Skylark had a
regular differential...

which, anyone who's been
stuck in the mud knows...

you step on the gas, one tyre
spins, the other does nothing.

That's right.

- Is that it?
- No. There's more.

When the left tyre mark
goes up on the kerb

and the right tyre
stays flat and even...

Well, the '64 Skylark had
a solid rear axle...

so, when the left tyre
goes up on the kerb, the

right tyre tilts and
rides along its edge.

But that didn't happen here. The
tyre mark stayed flat and even.

This car had an independent
rear suspension.

Now, in the '60s there
were only two other

cars made in America
that had positraction...

and independent rear
suspension, and

enough power to make these marks.

One was the Corvette,
which could never

be confused with
the Buick Skylark.

The other had the same body
length, height, width, weight...

wheel base and wheel track
as the '64 Skylark...

and that was the 1963
Pontiac Tempest.

And because both cars
were made by GM...

were both cars available in
metallic mint-green paint?

- They were.
- Thank you, Miss Vito.

No more questions. Thank
you very, very much.

You've been a lovely,
lovely witness.

Mr Trotter, would you like
to question Miss Vito?

Mr Trotter.

Mr Trotter.

No. No, Your Honour.
No further questions.

In that case, Your Honour, I'd
like to recall George Wilbur.

Miss Vito, you can stand down.

You realise you're
still under oath.

Yes, Your Honour.

Mr Wilbur, how'd you like
Miss Vito's testimony?

Very impressive.

She's cute too, huh?

Yes, very.

- Mr Gambini.
- Sorry, Your Honour.

Mr Wilbur, in your
expert opinion...

would you say that
everything Miss Vito

said on the stand
was 100% accurate?

I'd have to say that.

And is there any way
in the world...

the Buick that the defendants were
driving made those tyre tracks?

Come on. You can say.
It's ok, they know.

Actually...

- no.
- No.

Thank you. No more questions.

Your Honour, I call
Sheriff Farley.

You may stand down now, Mr Wilbur.

Sheriff, you realise
you're still under oath?

Yes, sir.

Sheriff Farley.

- What'd you find out?
- On a hunch...

I took it upon myself
to check if there was

any information on a
'63 Pontiac Tempest...

stolen or abandoned recently.

This computer read-out
confirms that two boys...

who fit the defendants'
description,

were arrested two days ago...

by Sheriff Tilman in
Jasper County, Georgia...

for driving a stolen metallic
mint-green 1963 Pontiac Tempest...

with a white convertible top...

Michelin model XGV
tyres, size 75R-14.

- Is that it?
- No.

A .357 Magnum revolver was
found in their possession.

Sheriff Farley, just to
refresh the court's memory...

what calibre bullet was used
to murder Jimmy Willis?

- A .357 Magnum.
- The defence rests.

Mr Trotter.

Your Honour, in light of Miss

Vito's and Mr
Wilbur's testimony...

the State'd like to
dismiss all charges.

Order in the court.

Order here.

I have to get out
of here by three.

Make sure all the
bags are in the car.

Vinny, I'm sorry to
have ever doubted you

at any time, and for
this I apologise.

Under the
circumstances... You were

great. I just want
to say thank you.

You're welcome. I hope
we can do it again.

- Fine job, Mr Gambini.
- Thanks.

You all come back and
see us any time now.

I'll see.

- Vin.
- Bill.

- You're welcome.
- Vin, I...

Listen. Take your
time, pick the right

words, get back to New
York, gimme a call.

- Vinny, you did a terrific job.
- Thanks.

You got an open invitation
any time you come here.

- We can get us a deer next time.
- Ok. Thanks a lot.

I feel like if I don't
get out of here

now, I might never
be able to leave.

Mr Gambini.

I have a fax here from
the clerk of New York.

I owe you an apology, sir.

I'm honoured to shake your hand.

"Win some, lose some."

Your courtroom
manner may be rather

unconventional, but I
got to tell you...

you're one helluva trial lawyer.

Thank you. And you're
one helluva judge.

Ooh, sorry.

Bye, now.

What the hell was that
all about back there?

I had a friend send a
fax to the judge...

confirming the very impressive
legal stature of Jerry Callo.

What friends you got
in the clerk's office?

- Your friend.
- My friend?

Judge Malloy.

So what's your problem?

My problem is I wanted
to win my first

case without any
help from anybody.

Well, I guess that plan's moot.

Yeah.

This could be a sign
of things to come.

You win all your cases, but with
somebody else's help, right?

You win case after case,
and then afterwards...

you have to go up to somebody and
you have to say "Thank you."

Oh, my God. What a
fucking nightmare.

I won my first case. You
know what this means.

Yeah. You think I'm
gonna marry you.

You're not gonna marry me now?

No way. You can't win a case by
yourself. You're fucking useless.

I thought we'd get
married this weekend.

You don't get it,
do you? That is not

romantic. I want a
wedding in church...

with bridesmaids and flowers.

How many times did you say
that spontaneous is romantic?

Hey, a burp is spontaneous.
A burp is not romantic.

♪ Well, he was a New York attorney
about to take a southern journey ♪

♪ Into places that
he'd never been ♪

♪ She was a brunette
out of Brooklyn ♪

♪ Fast talking and good looking ♪

♪ With a body that
was made for sin ♪

♪ And she wanted
him for marriage ♪

♪ Because the torch
that she carried ♪

♪ Was hotter then
the fires of hell ♪

♪ But he said he didn't need her
so she followed him down deep ♪

♪ Into the buckle
of the Bible Belt ♪

♪ She begged and she pleaded and
she told him all she needed ♪

♪ Was a little
tender loving care ♪

♪ But he was wrapped up in his
work and acting like a jerk ♪

♪ By pretending that
she wasn't there ♪

♪ But her heart was love-stricken
so she never thought of quitting ♪

♪ Or giving up on how she felt ♪

♪ She had plans to seduce him if
she could, she would loosen ♪

♪ The notch in the Bible Belt ♪

♪ There's a lot of good
people who are led astray ♪

♪ That believe true love is dead ♪

♪ But I'll tell ya
something, brother ♪

♪ When you're dealing
with your feelings ♪

♪ It's tough to
keep a level head ♪

♪ And it's hard to imagine
how the flames of passion ♪

♪ Will burn till your
soul will melt ♪

♪ And it'll spread like a cancer
till you're gonna have to answer ♪

♪ To your heart in
the Bible Belt ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo-hoo ♪

♪ Well, no matter who you are
if you're a peasant or a star ♪

♪ There's a need for
love in every man ♪

♪ And he found it pretty soon
underneath the southern moon ♪

♪ When she finally
made him understand ♪

♪ That every man's got his pride
and he'll try to run and hide ♪

♪ From emotions that
his heart has felt ♪

♪ So he gave her love a chance
that's when he found romance ♪

♪ In the heart of the Bible Belt ♪

♪ Yeah, there's a lot of good
people that are led astray ♪

♪ That believe true love is dead ♪

♪ But I'll tell ya
something, brother ♪

♪ When you're dealing
with your feelings ♪

♪ It's tough to
keep a level head ♪

♪ And it's hard to imagine
how the flames of passion ♪

♪ Will burn till your
soul will melt ♪

♪ And it'll spread like a cancer
but you're gonna have to answer ♪

♪ To your heart in
the Bible Belt ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo-hoo ♪

♪ Well, no matter who you are
if you're a peasant or a star ♪

♪ There's a need for
love in every man ♪

♪ And he found it pretty soon
underneath the southern moon ♪

♪ When she finally
made him understand ♪

♪ That every man's got his pride
and he'll try to run and hide ♪

♪ From emotions that
his heart has felt ♪

♪ So he gave her love a chance
that's when he found romance ♪

♪ In the heart of the Bible Belt ♪

♪ Yeah, there's a lot of good
people that are led astray ♪

♪ That believe true love is dead ♪

♪ But I'll tell ya
something, brother ♪

♪ When you're dealing
with your feelings ♪

♪ It's tough to
keep a level head ♪

♪ And it's hard to imagine
how the flames of passion ♪

♪ Will burn till your
soul will melt ♪

♪ They better get their
heads together ♪

♪ Or they're gonna slap leather ♪

♪ With their hearts
in the Bible Belt ♪

♪ Oh, Lord ♪