All language subtitles for W06E01 Maniac Cop_track3_[eng]

[Wind whistling]

[Crow caws]

[Scraping]

♪♪

-Americans invented
the four-lane divided

interstate highway,
which were the first roads

in the world that didn't have

any stop signs
or traffic lights.

Because Americans
don't like to stop.

Ever.

Until they're dead.

Americans like to boogie.

Which is a good thing.

♪♪

♪♪

-♪ Hey, everybody,
have you heard the news? ♪

♪ Joe Bob is back in town ♪

♪ He's over at the drive-in,
hanging around ♪

♪ Watching crazy movies,
so come on down ♪

♪ To Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Blood, beasties,
boobies, and more ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's a spooky good time
with monsters and ghosts ♪

♪ Crazy, kooky fun with
the world's greatest host ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be legendary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be very scary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-You know, one thing
that happens when people

are cooped up all the time
is that they become psychic.

[Laughter]

-Have you noticed this?

"I was just thinking about
something that might happen...

and it happened!"

You know?

That's maybe because when
you're cooped up all the time,

you have the chance to think
about every possibility

of everything that might happen.

But everywhere I go,
I meet these psychic people.

Psychics to the left of me,
psychics to the right of me.

And the ones who aren't psychic

pay psychics to tell
them psychic stuff.

You know, I'm not psychic.
I know this.

I don't even know what
the second movie is tonight.

Oh, and look, I just forgot to
introduce the first movie.

So someday we're gonna get
an actual format for this show.

"Maniac Cop."

-[Cheers and applause]
-At last!

The beloved "Maniac Cop,"
with an all-star list of

horror icons both behind
and in front of the camera,

including Bruce Campbell,
Tom Atkins, William Smith.

Jake LaMotta is in the movie.

Richard Roundtree.

"You have the right
to remain silent.

Forever."

One of the all-time
great movie posters.

Anyway, I'm not psychic.

I'm wrong about the weather.

I'm wrong about my career.

I say wrong things
to Darcy all the time.

In fact, I'm getting
a psychic message right now

that I forgot to
introduce Darcy.

Darcy!

Darcy the Mail Girl,
ladies and gentlemen.

She's here to serve you.

She put the "social"
in social media.

She put the "E" in e-mail.

And don't do that again, Darcy.
It's against TSA regulations.

Are you psychic at all, Darcy?

-I think psychic
kind of just means

that you're paying attention.

-Do you pay attention?

-On this show,
I kind of have to.

-Well, do you remember what
the second movie is?

-Yeah.

-Because I remember we paired
something up with "Maniac Cop."

But I don't remember
what it was.

-We did.

-Alright, go ahead and announce
it because I don't remember.

-"Maniac Cop 2."

-Oh, yeah. Okay.

Anyway, yeah, anyway.

My point is, all the stuff
that psychics talk about

I'm wrong about.

If a message suddenly
came into my brain saying,

"You will meet a
mysterious woman named Rhonda

two weeks from Thursday,
and she'll give you

a hundred dollars,"
I would know that I ate

too much chili at lunch.

You know, 'cause I don't even
know when the car payment

will be due, and it's due
on the same day every month.

But, like I say, I keep hearing
from psychic people,

or people who depend
on psychic people.

Like, a friend of mine
refuses to go to California

this month because her
psychic told her a, quote,

"major disaster"
is about to happen there.

Another friend goes to a psychic
so that the psychic will say

stuff like,
"You are seeing two men,

and you can't decide
which man is right for you."

And she tells me this,
and I say,

"So, what good is
that information?"

And she says, "It's true!
What the psychic said is true!

I am seeing two men,
and I can't decide."

And I say, "So what
are you gonna do?"

And she says, "I can't decide."

And I say, "So you went in
to get information

from a psychic that you already
knew before you went in."

She said,
"No, you don't understand.

It was independent
spiritual verification

of what I was thinking,
but I wasn't sure about."

And I say, "And you're still
not sure about it!"

And she says "I know,
but now I feel it's okay

not to be sure about it."

You know, so maybe I should go
see a psychic and say,

"Hey, how many arms
and legs do you think I have?

Don't peek!"

And then, if the psychic
gets the right answer,

I'll feel better about myself!

I was sitting --
I remember this.

I was sitting next to
a famous psychic

at a dinner party 'cause
we worked for the same

newspaper syndicate,
and she had a popular

horoscope column.

I won't use her name,
because I didn't ask to

interview her, so I don't know
if I can tell this story.

But I asked her
the following question.

"What if you have a client
come in, and you get these

psychic brainwaves that say,
'This person is about to die

A horrible grisly death?'"

And the person is sitting there,
and he grins and says,

"So, Miss Famous Psychic,
what's in my future?"

What do you say?

And she said,
"Well, there's always

something positive to say."

And I said, "Okay, well,
if the person is already dying

of some rare disease,
and they come to you to see

how long they have to live,
what do you say?"

You know,
"Avoid long term investments?"

I mean, what do you say
to a person?

And she says,
"Well, we would talk about

the best times
to do certain things.

For example,
there are better days

than others to
have chemotherapy.

So I would have to look at the
person's astrological chart."

But I wouldn't give up on this.

I said, "What if all the charts
and all the psychic brainwaves

and everything you know
said disaster,

this person is gonna suffer
and be miserable and then die!"

I mean, it must have
happened once

in the history
of psychic phenomena."

And she said,
"Well, I would never tell

someone they were going to die."

And I said,
"Even if it was likely?

You wouldn't even
give odds on it?

Because, you know, it's pretty
useful information

if they are going to die."

She said, "No, I would not feel
comfortable doing that."

So this brings me
to my next question.

Why, when you read
the horoscopes in the newspaper

or online, why does
it never say,

"Virgo, you should stay in bed
and tell your lawyer

to file for
immediate bankruptcy.

Everybody you meet today
will be a vulture

trying to make your
life miserable"?

You know, it never says that.

Instead, what does it say?

"Virgo, go slow
on relationships,

but don't be afraid to splurge
on that special vacation

you've been needing."

And what is this thing about
actors and psychics?

How come every actor
I know goes to a psychic?

In fact, now that I think of it,
my favorite infomercial

of all time, the one back
in the '90s about --

remember the
Psychic Friends Network?

-Oh, yeah.
-Does anybody remember

the Psychic Friends Network?

The last great 900 number
network before they all

went to the Internet.

That was almost exclusively
soap-opera stars who got

such bad psychic advice
that they thought it would

actually help their careers to
go on TV at 2:00 a.m.

and tell LaToya Jackson about
the time they heard

spiritual voices in the night
telling them to buy more shoes

and fire their agent
or whatever.

And, finally, why were
psychics giving out

their phone numbers on TV
in the first place?

Why don't they just dial up the
people who wanted to pay them?!

[Laughter]

Anyway, speaking of
murderous rampages,

"Maniac Cop" has four,
count 'em,

four drive-in superstars in it.

Bruce Campbell, sole survivor
of "Evil Dead"

and "Evil Dead II"
after he chainsaws

his dead zombie girlfriend.

Laurene Landon,
star of "Hundra,"

the Amazon goddess who,
in order to preserve her race,

must journey to
the Land of the Bull.

Richard Roundtree, Shaft.

William Smith, The Biller,

who has been in approximately
27,000 drive-in movies.

-I'm sorry, what?!

-Oh, I'm sorry.
Darcy, I'm sorry.

Five drive-in superstars.

Tom Atkins as
the tough police detective.

-You did that on purpose?

-No, I didn't do that.

I know you want to date
Tom Atkins.

You know, the whole
world knows that.

-I should be so lucky.

-Alright, we'll show
his best movie,

and we'll get him on the show.
-[Gasps] Really?

-Yeah, "Night of the Creeps."
I've been trying to get --

No?
-Stop teasing.

-Alright, we'll
talk about it later.

So "Maniac Cop" is
basically what it sounds like,

the movie that asks
the question,

"What would happen if
a super-cop got thrown into

Sing Sing for refusing to
read people their rights

before breaking their
heads open, and everybody hated

him there and so they surrounded
him and slashed his face

a hundred times and stabbed him
through the brain,

but somehow he was still alive?"

Sure, we've seen it before,
but have we seen it with

a Larry Cohen screenplay
directed by Bill Lustig?

I think not.

I call this
"Jason With a Badge."

We're talking no breasts.

And shame on you, Laurene,
for doing that.

15 dead bodies.

Neck snapping.

Teenager through the windshield.

Fresh-cement facial.

Ear-to-ear throat slitting.

Eight-story cop dropping.

Bullet to the forehead.

Aardvarkus Interruptus.

Face-slashing.

One motor vehicle chase,
with paddy wagon.

Two crashes.
East River dunking.

Flagpole through the gizzards.

Gratuitous bagpipers.

Kung Fu. Chokehold Fu.

Stiletto Fu.
Prison shower Fu.

Fire axe fu.

Drive-In Academy Award
nominations for Tom Atkins...

-Whoo-hoo!
-...as the detective searching

for the maniac cop,
for saying something

I often say -- "Look at the size
of those hematomas."

Bruce Campbell as the unhappily
married cop who gets blamed for

the killings after his wife dies
on the night he sneaks out

to aardvark with Laurene,
for saying,

"You're the one that dropped out
of therapy."

Sheree North as the crippled
lady cop who helps

the maniac kill "those that did
wrong to you,"

for screaming,
"He knows! He knows!

He knows I'm no good to him!"

Laurene Landon as the decoy
undercover hooker getting nookie

on the side from Bruce.

Robert Z'Dar as bloody
razor-faced Officer Jason.

Larry Cohen,
the writer-producer,

who made "It's Alive!"

"There's only one thing wrong
with the Davis baby.

It's alive!"

"Perfect Strangers,"
"Q," "The Stuff,"

"It's Alive Part II,"
and now does it again

with The Fuzz
That Won't Go Away.

And, of course, our old friend
Bill Lustig, the director,

who just might be available to
talk to us later tonight.

Four stars.
Joe Bob says check it out.

-That's it?

-What?

-You're not gonna say
who else is available tonight?

-I was gonna make
that a surprise.

-People already know that
"The Chin"

is gonna be on the show.

Oh, that's right, Robert Z'Dar,
"The Chin!

-Not who I was thinking of.

-This is the only movie
I know of where two actors

are both nicknamed The Chin.

I wonder if they ever challenged
each other to chin-ups.

-I am telling people
right now on social media.

-I think they already know.

I think they've known
for, like, two weeks

who the guest star is tonight.

-So it's okay to talk about?

-"Taste my steel, you dog!"

He's known for his one-liners.

Name that movie.
"Taste my steel, you dog!"

-"The Majestic."

-Damn, you're good.

-Yep.

[Static crackles]

♪♪

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♪♪

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♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

[Boat horn blares]

♪♪

-Come on, Cassie,
another straight after hours.

You've been on your feet
whole day!

-No, thanks, Joey. I've got
a day job, too, you know?

-You sure I can't
give you a lift?

-I'd rather face the muggers.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

[Siren wailing in distance]

[Cat yowls]

[Gasps] Hey!

-Come on.
Gimme your money!

-Come on, sweetheart.

-Hey, I worked hard for this.
Aah!

♪♪

I worked hard for these!
Let go of me!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Officer!

♪♪

Officer! Officer!

♪♪

Officer!

Officer!

Officer!

Oh, thank God it's you.

These two Puerto Rican guys
just trying to mug me, and --

[Gasps]

[Choking]

♪♪

[Bones crack]

♪♪

♪♪

[Siren wailing]

[Tires screech]

[Indistinct
police radio chatter]

-Yo, man!

It was a knife, man!
It was a cop, a big cop!

♪♪

♪♪

[Tool whirring]

♪♪

♪♪

-I hate the smell
of these places.

-Good morning.

-So...?

-Well, We have a C-2,
C-3 fracture dislocation.

The head was unstable, and there
was a deceleration injury,

as in your old hanging.
where the head just pops.

That's not
what is interesting.

What's interesting is
we also have a crushed larynx.

The head's just flopping.

-You're trying to tell me
two kids did this?

-I just got a statement
from an eyewitness.

They said they saw
the kids attack her.

Can't you cover her face?

-Her name's Cassie Philips.

I used to go into her place
for a nightcap.

She always had the latest jokes,
nice sense of humor.

I always told her
she ought to, uh, audition

for one of those comedy joints.

-All the more reason
I would think

you'd want to see those
little bastards put away.

[Gags]

-Don't pass out on me, Lovejoy.

Take a look at the size
of those hematomas.

Now, you think
either one of those two kids

could have done that?

-Shit, you really think
a cop did this?

-Why not?

She knew me,
she knew a lot of cops.

-What's the use?
Let's go.

I think I need some fresh air.

-You must've been
so afraid, Cassie.

Then you saw a cop.

♪♪

[Woman laughs]

-So we just about closed
that club, huh?

-[Laughing]

You're not kidding.

Sam, watch the light!

[Tires screech]

♪♪

-What's the matter
with this light?

It's probably broken
or something.

-Relax.

What's the hurry?

♪♪

[Knocking on window]

Shit. It's a cop.
Ditch that beer.

-Where did he come from?
-I don't know. I don't know.

-Alright, what seems to be
the trouble, officer?

-Oh, no, I think he wants you
to go with him.

-What for?
-I don't know.

Look, you just better
cooperate, alright?

-I can't stand
any more tickets.

My insurance is gonna go up.

♪♪

[Grunting]

-[Screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Buzzer rings]

-Yeah?
-Commissioner,

Detective Lieutenant McCrae
is here to see you.

-Send him in.

Have a seat, Lieutenant.

Lieutenant, I've been
going over your report.

Seems that you
automatically assume

that it was a police officer,
instead of some...

lunatic son of a bitch
dressed up like a cop.

-He didn't kill the girl.
He wanted a witness.

-Well, there you are.

Obviously, someone trying
to discredit the police force.

I mean, it fits my profile
for it not to be a cop.

-All the same,
I think we ought to take a look

at our own people.

I'd like to have
a police psychologist

do a rundown on cops that have
been under mental disturbance,

attempted suicide,
under extreme emotional stress.

-Sure. Why don't we just test
the whole damn force

while you're at it?

-Otherwise, we're looking
for a white man

well over six feet tall,
wears a police uniform,

doesn't have an alibi.

I don't know where to start
to look, Commissioner.

-Listen, I want you to keep this
within the department.

Keep it quiet.
-For as long as we can.

He'll kill again.
He enjoys killing.

-You know, Lieutenant,
you seem to know

a hell of a lot about this guy.
Tell me something --

When was the last time
you had a mental test?

-Any time, Commissioner.

-As a matter of fact,
didn't you try

to shoot yourself
a couple of years back?

-The gun went off.

-The gun went off.

Exactly 10 days
after your partner

was killed in the line of duty,

your gun just happens
to...discharge all by itself.

Now, you haven't been
on an even keel ever since.

Even now...

you don't smile very much.

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey.
Hey, what are you doing?

This is my car!

Ow! Ow!
What the...?

Hey!

♪♪

Shit!

Help!
Please help!

Help! Help me!

Help! Please!

Help me!

Help!

♪♪

Help!

Help, please!

♪♪

-[Buzzing]
-Please! Help me, please!

-Stop, buddy! Stop it!

-Help me!
Help me! Please!

♪♪

Help me, please!

♪♪

Please, help! Please, help!

[Grunting]

♪♪

[Indistinct
police radio chatter]

[Jack hammers rattling]

♪♪

-I was surprised
when you called.

I didn't think we were gonna
see each other again.

-Well, I see you on the news
at the end of each night

just before
I shut off the lights.

-How romantic.

-Gina, this isn't about romance.

It's about murder.

-Thank you.

-People have to be warned.

Most people,
they respect the uniform.

They'll do anything
the cop tells them,

including take a walk
up a dark alley.

-Who is he killing?
Pushers? Hustlers?

-Innocent people.

-Jesus. A maniac cop?

How's that for a tag?

-I knew I could count on you

to sensationalizing it
the best way.

You got to do it.
Make it bigger than AIDS.

It's the only way
to City Hall off their ass.

-Are you're ready to go
on the line on this,

be quoted directly?

-I'm ready to hand you
an exclusive on this,

but I want you break it
on your late news show tonight.

-Okay, I'll need a back up
on every detail,

names of the witnesses,
specifics from --

-You'll find everything you need
right there.

-McCrae, remember --
I owe you one.

-Eh, you don't
owe me anything.

-Now a News Channel
exclusive.

This reporter was informed
by a source

within the New York
Police Department

of attempts
by the Homicide Division

to suppress facts regarding
three recent homicides.

Facts and witnesses to
these murders point unmistakably

to a uniformed police officer.

I repeat, a uniformed
New York cop

has been seen in the commission
of the brutal killings

occurring on the streets
in the city after dark.

The questions this station
wants answered --

why has Commissioner Pike
withheld these facts,

and does the mayor know
what's going on in his city?

-[Engine sputtering]
-How can the public defend

themselves if they're unaware

that one
of New York's finest

may indeed be a psychopath

whose intent is to kill them
rather than protect them?

Tomorrow on the morning show,
we will have an interview

with Detective Lieutenant
Frank McCrae...

-Damn!
-...who is in charge

of the investigation
and who was ordered

not to speak to the press.

[Click]

♪♪

♪♪

[Engine sputtering]

♪♪

♪♪

-You're not gonna get me!

[Gunshot, glass shatters]

♪♪

-Anybody that wants
to shoot a cop nowadays

has got one hell of an excuse.

You believe that?

She thought he was
the fucking maniac!

-Look, we've received
over 700 letters

accusing individual
police officers.

-Look, Councilor, a cop
gives you a parking ticket,

so what you do?

Naturally, you write in a letter

accusing him
of being a killer, right?

Why does this have
to happen now?

I got four weeks before
I retire.

-Hey, look, we're all
in trouble here, Captain.

Tourism's off by 38%.

This nut must be caught.

He's costing the taxpayers
millions every day.

-Ripley, if you can't handle
this, why don't you put in

for early retirement
and step down, huh?

-No way, Commissioner.

I'm gonna to nail this bastard.

But he's sharp.

He's always
one step ahead of me.

If I stake out
Tribeca and SoHo,

he strikes in the East Side.

-He may be getting information
from inside the department.

-[Chuckles]

-That means he isone of us.

[Static crackles]

-Wow, talk about
an all-star lineup.

The first seven names you see
in the opening credits

are Larry Cohen, Bill Lustig,
Tom Atkins, Bruce Campbell,

Laurene Landon,
Richard Roundtree,

and William Smith.

You might as well just say
The Drive-In Hall of Fame.

This is one of four times
that Larry Cohen and Bill Lustig

worked together, and the way
it happened is that they were at

the Los Angeles Film Festival,
and they went out for coffee,

and Larry asked Bill casually
if he thought he would ever make

a sequel to "Maniac."

And Bill said,
"No, probably not."

He just didn't see what
could be done with it.

And Larry said,
"Well, maybe you should combine

the idea with another genre,
like a police procedural,

and the title would be
'Maniac Cop.'"

And I guess Bill Lustig got
goose bumps when he said that

because he said from that moment
on, he wanted to make the movie.

And then Larry Cohen said,
"And the tagline is

'You have the right
to remain silent...

forever."

And that did become the tagline.

And both men say the whole
concept for this movie

was the result of about
a 30-second conversation

over coffee where Larry Cohen
came up with

the title and the tagline.

Larry Cohen thought he would
never hear more about it,

but a week later, Lustig
calls him up, and he says,

"I got the money."

So that was in February of 1987,

and of course the biggest cop
event in New York City

is the Saint Patrick's Day
Parade, on March 17th,

and both Cohen and Lustig agreed
it would be a good idea

to steal some footage
from that parade.

But they didn't have a script
by March 17th.

I mean, Larry was just beginning
to write the script.

So Lustig called up
Bruce Campbell, and he said,

"Bruce, I've got a part for you,
I don't know exactly

what it is yet,
we don't have a script yet,

but can you fly to New
York and bring some

costume choices that can
easily be matched later

and we'll spend a day shooting
you all over

the place around the
Saint Paddy's Day parade."

And then we'll figure out what
to do with that footage later."

So as you'll see, Sam Raimi
decided to go along with him,

'cause he ends up being
the parade TV reporter.

Anyway, that was in March.

By August, they were
shooting the whole movie.

And if you're a Larry Cohen fan,
as we all are around here,

you'll notice that it doesn't
have quite the same sensibility

as his usual script, and that's
because Bill Lustig directed.

Bill is darker than Larry.

So of Cohen had been directing
it, it would have been snappier,

you know, a little bit
more satirical.

I mean, it's still got that,
but it doesn't always have

that crazy look that
a Cohen film has.

Lustig and Cohen are both
from the Bronx,

they both love New York,
they both love the look

of the city, but only about
three days of shooting were

actually in the city.

The rest was all in
Los Angeles locations

that doubled for New York.

And believe me,
that is not easy to do.

So they spent a lot of time
in San Pedro,

down by the docks down there.

And, by the way, the girl who
becomes Dead Body Number One,

the Maniac Cop's first victim
in the park,

that was Larry Cohen's daughter,
Jill Gatsby.

He loved to put Jill
in his pictures,

and he loved to kill Jill
in his pictures.

All right, back to the movie.

And at the next break,

we're gonna introduce
our special guest.

I know you're dying to know
who that special guest is.

Bruce was actually on one of
my earlier shows,

back in the 18th century.

You know, back when I first
started doing this.

All I remember we were shooting
the interview at

a swimming pool on a terrace
at one of those fancy houses

that hangs off the side of
a cliff in the Hollywood Hills.

And we had all these extras,
girls in bikinis,

and they were sunbathing
in the background,

and the girls were all like,
"Is Bruce here yet?

When is Bruce coming?"

And the guy has been
a stud all his life.

You know, he could just say,
"Hey, yeah, let's go on a date,

just you and six of my other
girlfriends from this week."

You know, I mean, he is that
popular with the ladies.

Right, Darcy?

-I'd be down.

-Here's one for you.

Who plays the overweight
female demon in "Evil Dead II"

who loses her head
and flops around on the ground

and says,
"I will swallow your soul"?

-Ted Raimi.

-Damn! You know...

-And Bruce goes, "Swallow this!"
Boom.

Okay, we don't need
additional information.

You know, Ted Raimi
was enough showing off, alright?

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Infant fussing]

-I didn't know you were
on duty tonight.

-Yeah, well, with
all the flu going around,

they had to put
a lot of us on overtime.

-Always at night.

It worries me when you work
so much at night.

-It worries me, too.

-You don't talk about it much.

-[Sighs]

When I come home,
I want to forget.

-It makes me feel
left out, Jack.

You used to talk to me.

-Look, you're the one
that dropped out of the therapy.

I was willing to go, and I was
willing to pay the bills.

-So, it's all my fault
now, is it?

-I did everything I could
to hold this marriage together.

-You talk like
it's already over.

-Yeah, well,
it's not enough to talk.

You have to listen, too.

-I suppose that's why you're
taking so much overtime,

to get away from me.

Or is it something else?

-What's that supposed to mean?

-Sometimes, you wake up...

screaming like you can't breath.

Sometimes, I get afraid that
you might hurt me in your sleep.

-Have I ever hurt you?

-I know it's wrong to be afraid
of my own husband, but I --

-Now, why couldn't you say that
to the therapist?

Why couldn't you simply say,

"I'm afraid of him,
and I don't know why"?

-Don't, Jack, please.

Don't go out tonight.
Stay with me.

-Now, how can I?
I'm on the duty roster.

I'll make it up to you
over the weekend.

We'll, uh, we'll go for ride
in the country.

We'll gonna go on up
to Tarrytown like --

Hey, don't pull away from me.

-I'm sorry.

I don't know
what's happening to me.

I --

I don't like being alone
till all hours.

I hear things.

I think I hear things.

-Look, there's enough locks
on the doors,

and you've got a gun,
and you know how to use it.

-Let me fix that for you.

-Look, um, if I get off
early tonight,

I'll try not to wake you.

-You can wake me up.

Maybe I'm just
sleeping too much, you know?

They say that could be
depressing to a person.

You know, too much sleep.

Be careful now.

-[Chuckles]
You say that every night.

[Door closes]

[Telephone ringing]

♪♪

♪♪

-He went out again, didn't he?

-Who is this?
Why do you keep calling me?

-Why does Jack
keep killing people?

He going to do it
again tonight?

-Why do you
keep doing this to me?

[Line clicks, dial tone]

♪♪

-Hey, Jack.
-Oh, hey, Benny.

How you doing?

♪♪

It's no a big deal.

-Eh, I'll fix it myself.

[Siren wailing in distance]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Gasps]

-[Sighs deeply]
Why did follow me?

-I thought...

I was afraid
that you were...

-[Sighs]

-God.

I didn't want you
to find out this way.

I wanted to tell you,
but I didn't know how.

-Just don't come near me.

-You have every right
to hate us both,

but let me
just try an explain.

-I don't want to hear
another word!

You just don't say anymore,
'cause I'll kill you both.

-Ellen, don't
point that thing.

Just don't point that thing.

-Let her go. Let her go.

♪♪

♪♪

-Oh, Jesus.

[Siren wailing]

-Aah!

♪♪

-You folks checked out yet?

Ugh.

Must have partied it up good
in here.

Let's see what
other damage you done.

[Screams]

♪♪

Man: ...until further notice
effective next Monday.

Item number 9 --

Remember, gang, the Red Cross
blood drive is next week.

Let's do our duty.

Item --

-Forrest.

Let's talk.

-Yeah, sure, Captain.

So, have you decided
where you're gonna settle down

after you retire?

You, uh, still thinking
about Florida?

-It's about your wife.

-She call you to complain
about our trouble?

I thought she'd be going to
a lawyer or something like that.

-So, the two of you
haven't been getting along then?

-Ripley --

-Uh, Captain Ripley.

-Captain, since when is
my personal life

any of your business?

-Since your wife was found dead
in a motel room.

At a sleazebag Motor Inn
on 11th Avenue...

...with her throat slit
from ear to ear.

-No.
You got to be wrong.

-You want to see
the pretty pictures?

-She ran out. I --
I thought she went back home.

-You admit you were there?

-I tried to stop her,
but she had a gun.

-Patrolman Forrest,
before you say anything else,

I better read you
your rights.

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-Yuki?
-Yes?

-Okay, uh, rural Oregon
is where we're going.

Small town in Oregon.

They told us the name
of it, right?

Point it due west and a little
to the north.

-Yes, got it.
-Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Chin!
The one and only Bruce Campbell.

[Cheers and applause]

-How you doing?
Good to see you guys.

-Alright, Bruce.
It's been way too long.

You come on my show
every 25 years.

-Yeah, that's how it works.

I'll see you in
about 25 from now.

But thankfully,
we'll still be here.

That's what's awesome.

-So, how is
Laurene Landon in bed?

That's the first
pressing question.

-Uh, athletic.
She's very large.

She is kind of a --
she's built.

She was very athletic,
is what I would say.

-So, we already told the story
about how Lustig called you up

and asked you to fly to New York
to just hang around

the Saint Patrick's Day parade
to get footage before

they even had a script.

So you must really, really trust
Bill Lustig.

-Well, you know, Bill,
he was a kindred spirit.

He's like, "Okay, look,
before the movie,

I got this great idea.

There's the backdrop of
the parade, a million people.

You'll be running down there,
chased by a cop.

We zoom in.
They'll go, 'Oh, my God!

This budget is epic!'"

And of course,
before we even get to film,

you know, they have a shabby guy

dressed in a fake cop outfit
next to me.

We're waiting for some guy
to give us the signal.

And in case you didn't know,
Saint Paddy's Day parade,

there are 30,000 police officers
on the street.

And so one guy looks at this
actor, they nod at each other,

"Yeah, hey, how you doin'?"

This cop, then he
looks at him again.

And he gets this kind of sour
look on his face, he's like,

"What kind of outfit is that?"

He comes up to the guy,
he goes,

"Hey, hey, where you from?"

And the guy panics.

I turned and walked away
into the crowd

because he didn't know
who I was.

So I don't what they
got shot that day,

but it wasn't this
majestic sequence.

But go, Bill.
You can't blame him for trying.

-I can't believe
he didn't get arrested

for impersonating a cop.

-Oh, man. And look, here's how
you know in movies.

A real cop in real life,
their costumes,

their uniforms are bursting at
the seams because they've

had them for 10 years.

And so they don't fit
for that reason.

In movies, they don't fit 'cause
they just got handed them

off the back
of the costume truck,

and they're always too big.

So extras looking tough with
their guns in the background,

they're pants are
always falling off.

That's how you know
the difference.

-Well, that's great.

So, how well were you known
when you did this movie?

Obviously, you had the street
cred from the two

"Evil Dead" flicks.

Were you getting
a lot of offers?

-No, that was cool about this.

Bill Lustig was the first
non-Sam Raimi movie

that I did, 'cause I did,
you know,

the first "Evil Dead."

Then we did a film called
"Crimewave", "Evil Dead II."

And Bill saw "Evil Dead II", so
I got hired from "Evil Dead II."

And I was excited to do this
because I thought,

look, I can't work for
Sam Raimi, you know,

on every movie.

I'll try.

But it was cool to
go somewhere else,

be in a completely
different movie.

And look, we knew Bill
from "Maniac."

You know, that was a very
notorious horror movie.

We knew Bill Lustig.

-Well, this is about as
close as you ever get to

playing a conventional
leading man role.

Do you agree with that?

-Yeah, this is
pretty straight stuff.

We had a couple of dialogue --

Bill didn't hire me
for the dialogue, you know?

-What do you mean?

-We had a couple of dialogue
scenes that, you know, look,

I try to do always the best
that I can with the --

I fight with the army
that I have.

But after we did these scenes,
Bill came up, and he goes,

"Hey, Bruce, you know,
that dialogue,

it was all right,
you sounded all right."

Like, he was amazed that
it didn't completely suck.

You know, 'cause he just
wanted me to kill --

like, go after the Maniac Cop
and fight him

and hang on to stuff.

But he was fine with that,
but he was kind of surprised

of, like, "Oh, you can
talk and all that.

Oh, that's great."

So that was very exciting.

-Okay, now, Bruce,
I want you to be honest.

You're not that crazy
about this movie, are you?

-[Laughs]

Well, honestly, the first one,
I was fine

because it was a great
opportunity.

Bill was fine.

You know, he wouldn't let me do
stuff that I really wanted.

He wanted to kind of baby me
a little bit.

So we got through it.

Part 2, which you'll
talk to Bill later.

You can bring it up.

I got divorced,
and I was in no frame of mind

to do anything, and so they
wanted to talk about part 2.

And I went, "Okay, well, first,
get the check book out, guys,

'cause it's a new story now."

And Bill was like, "Wait, what?"

So, obviously, they were like,

"Well, nah,
that ain't gonna happen."

And I'm like, "Okay, well,
maybe this will happen."

And so basically I got killed.

That's what you'll see in
"Maniac Cop 2."

I go, "Bill, give me
a big death."

You know, then kill me.
I said, "Kill me."

'Cause if we're not gonna
be able to get the money

worked out, kill me off.

So he wanted the surprise,
so I guess you can spoil it

or whatever with your viewers.

But I die a quick death in
"Maniac Cop 2" for

a pretty good reason.

-Well, the good reason being
you wanted to die a quick death.

-I either wanted a good pay day
or kill me.

It really was just
one of those deals.

I know what sequels are.
It's a sequel.

You have to make more
for a sequel.

It's just --
it's the law of Hollywood.

-Alright, well, appreciate
your honesty, man.

Well, the fan base loves
the movie,

and they actually love
both movies,

and they love you
in both movies.

And in fact, they always
complain about the fact

that you got killed right away.

-But you know what?
It worked out fine.

I told Bill -- I pleaded for
a big fight scene

in, like, a hardware store,
where it's just axes

and go out like --
go down swinging, you know?

But Bill went for the shock.

He's like, "No, no, no,
if we're gonna kill you,

I want people to go,
'What? He's dead already?'"

But that was fun.

My death scene was with
James Earl Jones' father

as the newspaper salesman.

-Oh, yeah.
We're gonna talk about that.

That is a great scene.

Well, let's go back
to the movie,

and then we'll continue our
deep dive with Bruce Campbell.

So roll the film.

Did you ever spend quality time

in a fleabag no-tell motel,
Bruce?

You kind of looked like you knew
what you were doing

in that scene.

-Uh, you know, back in the day,
the formative years,

we would go to Los Angeles
trying to sell "Evil Dead",

and we get rent-a-jalopies
and stay only in motels.

Why would we stay in a hotel?
Those are too expensive.

So yeah, I've got
some experience.

-[Laughs] Alright, well, you can
tell us every detail then

at the next break.

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

-Are you saving your reviews?

-Never saw these before.

-Well, what about this?

Your wife's diary.

She wrote...

"I now believe my husband may be
doing these murders."

-Is that why
you followed her?

Is that why you shut her up?

-That's not true.

-Have you got an alibi
for last Wednesday night

and the preceding Friday, huh?!

-I was home.
-Oh, come on, Forrest.

If you were home, your wife
would not have suspected you.

-Alright, I was seeing somebody.

-I'll talk to my client
now...alone.

-Councilor, we have
read him his Mirandas,

and he elected
to make a statement.

-That's inadmissible.

-Well, he did admit that he was
in that motel room

in the presence of the victim.

-And that's enough.
Now you two guys, out of here.

-As you wish, Councilor.

Councilor, we intend
to have this suspect

appear in a lineup
for the witnesses

first thing tomorrow morning.

Good day, sir.

-These guys are trying
to make me the fall guy.

Everybody's screaming for blood,
and all of a sudden, I'm it.

-I'm certain you had no control
over what happened.

Call it an irresistible impulse.

That's a legal defense.

Better yet,
maybe you don't even remember

committing the crimes --

blackouts, momentary
lapses of memory.

-What are you talking about?
I'm not crazy. I didn't do it.

-You were seeing a therapist
on a regular basis.

-Oh, come on.
A marriage counselor.

I got a witness, okay?
Somebody else who was there.

I don't want
to bring her into this

unless there's no other way.

-Pal, you need
all the help you can get.

-It's gonna ruin her career.

Let's give it to
the end of the week.

If they don't find
the real killer by then,

I'll name her.

-Yeah, so, I told my kids,

you see a cop, you cross to
the other side of the street.

I see a cop, I'm out of here.

-I seen three of my friends
murdered by cops --

shot in the back,

shot when they didn't have
a gun or a knife,

claiming the suspect had
a shiny object.

You know, cops like killing.
That's why they're cops.

Yeah.
Who's gonna be next, huh?

-Cops like you to be
scared of them.

That what makes them men,
real men.

Because without that uniform,
what are they?

I'm not scared.

-They respected cops
in my day.

Otherwise, they'd hit you in
your head with their billy.

They didn't take no guff.
No, they were the law.

Nowadays like this, they got
to shoot you to get respect.

-Nobody gives no crap
to the cops no more

since this crazy cop
come along.

You see a cop coming now,
you get out of the way!

And there ain't much crime
no more.

-Hey, Listen

About 18 years back,
I had a case where

this guy made it look like
a psychopath was at work.

So, what does he do then?

He goes in,
and he kills his wife,

and it looks like it's
one of the serial killings.

-Jack's been set up to take
the heat off the real psycho.

-[Chuckles]

You gonna tell me you think
this creep is that smart?

-He's a cop,
maybe even a detective.

-Fuck you.

-Come on, Ripley.
Why not?

Every detective
keeps his old uniform

hanging in mothballs.

It's the one thing
you never get rid of.

-Let me tell you, fella.

If Jack had an alibi...

he would have come across
with it by know.

-Jack is
protecting someone.

Whoever it is, he doesn't want
them to get involved.

And the killer knows who it is.

-And you're a cop.

-Fuckin' eh, I'm a cop.
What the fuck are you?

-Fuck you.

[Chains rattling]

-You're in danger.
-How?

-The guy wants to lay low
for a while

till he starts
another killing spree.

He'd like us
to relax our guard.

To accomplish that,
he hands us a prime suspect.

-Why would he pick me?

-Eh, your size,
your description,

your personnel file.

He's getting his information
from inside the department.

And, of course,
your, uh, sex life.

-I'm telling you
nobody knew about that.

-Your girlfriend must have
told somebody, Jack.

She's the only one that can
give us that connection.

That puts her in danger.

-I'm telling you
she can take care herself.

She out-shoots me every time
we go to the range.

-She's on the force?

-You know her.

Theresa Mallory.

-Congratulations.

It's a well-kept secret.

-Yeah, well, not well enough
according to you.

-Where do I find her?

-She's on duty tonight.

[Car horn honks]

-Mmm.

How you doing, beautiful?

-It all depends.

-Would you like
a lift someplace?

-Yeah, I feel pretty much
at home right here.

-Could I interest you in
something else?

-You want to be
a little more specific?

-You wouldn't be a cop,
would you?

-[Laughs]
You got it, mister.

You asked
the jackpot question.

Now, why don't you run
along home to your wife and kids

like a good little boy?

-Yeah, that's just what
I was gonna do.

But I'll be thinking
of you, baby.

-Can't arrest you for that.

-Ciao, baby.

♪♪

-Who is it?

That you, Malone?

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey, McCrae.

-Hey, uh, look --
Don't get the wrong idea.

I'm on duty here.

Officer Mallory, 33rd Precinct.
Vice Squad.

♪♪

[Gasps]

♪♪

[Gunshot]

♪♪

♪♪

-Ugh!

[Gun clicking]

♪♪

-It couldn't have
just been a bulletproof vest.

I hit him in the head
at least twice.

-Just bring me a tab,
will you?

-Okay.
-Thanks.

-Look at the marks
on your throat.

-I'm telling you, Frank.
His hands were so big.

And they felt like ice,
even through his gloves.

He wasn't breathing.

-Yeah. Well, we won't put that
in our report, huh?

-Why did you
come looking for me?

-Well, you were Jack's
only witness.

You had to disappear.

He, uh -- He speak to you,
say anything?

-No. No, not a sound.

-Last call.
You want anything else?

-Uh, yeah. Yeah,
one more round -- doubles.

-You're trying to get me drunk.

-No. No. No, I'm just gonna
stash you away some place

for few days for safekeeping.

-Why can't I go home?

-Oh, come on. If he knew where
you were assigned to work,

he sure as hell knows
where you live.

-Well, how could he?

-You must have told somebody
at work...

about your relationship.

Come on. Come on.
Jack was deliberately set up.

Somebody phoned his wife
to follow him.

Now, who did you tell?

-I guess you know Sally Noland.

-Should I?
-Well, sure.

She's been on the force
for 20 years.

She's like a den mother
to all of us.

You know, she wears
that leg brace.

-Oh, yeah. Yeah.
She uses a cane.

Sure.
-Yeah, that's her.

Her father's a cop.

-I know. She's a fixture
down at headquarters.

She's been there so long,
you hardly notice her anymore.

-[Key jingles]
-What's this?

-The key to my apartment, 4E.

I want you to lock yourself
in there.

I'll call before I come back
so you know it's me.

I'll ring twice, hang up,
ring once again.

Don't answer the phone
for anybody else.

-Wait. I thought you were
going to keep me company.

-I'll phone for a cab. I don't
want you out in the streets.

I'll stop down
at headquarters.

I have a feeling Miss Noland
will be haunting the joint.

[Indistinct chatter]

-McCrae, what'd you do
to your hand?

-I cut myself shaving.

-[Scoffs]

-Sign me in, will you?

-Yeah, sure.

[Shuffling]

-You came at a very bad time.
The computer is down.

-[Chuckles]
How did we ever police this town

without a computer, huh?

-If you're
requesting information,

you'll have to out
this form,

and I'll process it
in the morning.

-You, uh, uh --
You have a pen?

Thanks.

I'm gonna have
a hard time writing this.

I got 11 stitches tonight.

You know, we really should
know each other.

We've probably been passing each
other in the halls for years.

We do have
one friend in common.

-Who is that?

-Officer Mallory.

-Theresa.

-She had a close call
this evening.

-Why? What happened?

-She was working
undercover vice.

Ran into a psycho.
It's a mess.

-How is she?

-She's okay.

-[Sighs, chuckles]
Thank Jesus for that.

She is a fine girl, that one.

-I knew you'd be relieved
to hear she was okay.

-Yeah, we should, uh --

We should all have us
a beer together sometime,

get to know each other.

-Sure.

We'll all be inseparable.

-How's that form?

-I'll tell you the truth --
It's not very important.

Eh, forget it.

Better get that computer fixed.

I'm glad we finally
got say hello.

♪♪

[Door closes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Engine starts]

♪♪

♪♪

[Engine starts]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Talking indistinctly]

-You've got to stop doing
all these crazy things.

You got to remember to stick to
your plan.

Don't do this, please.

Yes, I know it would be safe

if you put the girl away,
but this way is even better.

Now they think they got
the guilty man,

so that way, they're gonna
let their guard down,

and you'll be free to get to
the mayor and the commissioner

and put an end to this.

I knew you had anger in you,
Matt, but --

but I thought it would be
the dealers and the junkies

and all the human garbage

that you'd be
cleaning the city of,

not all them poor people
just minding their business.

What's got into you, Matt?
What's changed your so?

I said that I'd stick by you,
and I will.

But you got to stop
this killing.

Just...only save it for those
that did wrong to you.

♪♪

[Clattering]

Who's out there?!

Answer me!

♪♪

[Gunshots]

[Clattering, cat yowls]

Ohh, I guess
I was just jumpy.

Matt?

Matt, where are ya?

I need you, Matt.
You need me.

Come back.

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey, you!
What are you doing?!

Whoa. Take it easy.
What you are doing?

-I had to take a leak.

-You always take a leak
with a gun in your hand?

It's a good way
to blow your balls off!

Oh.

-You scared me,
wearing a uniform.

-Yeah, nowadays,
everybody's packing a gun.

I don't blame you.

I should get hazard pay
with this uniform.

-Yeah.

-You could've got yourself
killed back there.

Those timbers
are ready to break.

This place is going to be
demolished in a couple of weeks.

-Yeah, the whole city's
going to hell.

You can't take a pee
anywhere anymore.

[Static crackles]

-You know, when Tom Atkins
and William Smith are sitting

in the bar discussing
the case and you see that series

of man-on-the-street interviews
on the TV about how everybody

is afraid of the cops,
you kind of realize how little

things have changed from 1988
to today, right?

A whole city afraid of the cops,
the idea that there are

psychopath cops on the force,
the idea that cops are

trigger happy, the idea that
cops are using the gun

to enforce their manhoods.

Larry Cohen was always ahead
of his time.

The woman in the leg brace
who turns out to be the key

to finding the Maniac Cop,
that's the late Sheree North.

Well known in Hollywood
and the New York stage

from the '40s on.

She was a chorus girl,
she was a dancer

in a lot of musicals like
"Can Can," "Irma la Douce,"

"Bye Bye Birdie."

It's ironic that they hired
her to play a character with

a physical deformity since
she at one time was considered

the woman with the best legs
in show business.

And she had two Emmy nominations
later in life for guest roles on

"Marcus Welby M. D."
and "Archie Bunker's Place."

Probably best known as
Lou Grant's girlfriend on

"The Mary Tyler Moore Show."

Oh, and Kramer's mom
on "Seinfeld."

Anyway, we're talking to
Bruce Campbell, who's known for

his acting on "Evil Dead,"

"The Adventures of
Brisco County, Jr.,"

"Lois and Clark,"
"Xena: Warrior Princess,"

"Escape from LA,"
the Spider-man movies,

"Bubba Ho-Tep,"
a seven-year run

on "Burn Notice."

And, Bruce,
you're also a producer.

You're one of the most
successful actor-producers

in the business, and that's
a hyphenate title

that not many people have.

How did that happen?

I know you raised the money
for "Evil Dead."

Is that right?

-Yeah, well, the truth of it is,
in order to secure it myself,

my first job,
I became the producer

and put myself in the movie
because I didn't want to

go through this horrible process
of auditioning for this movie.

So I conned my dad into
investing the first

investment in the movie,
so I had a good leg up.

And then me and Sam Raimi
and Rob Tapert

raised the rest.

And I didn't have to audition
for the movie.

And I got really used to that.

-'Cause you really don't
like to audition, I guess.

-I've only gotten about three
jobs in my entire life

by auditioning because
it's an uncomfortable process

that I feel is very torturous.

And I tell any actor, you want
to do what you need to do?

Become a producer.

A writer? Oh, you're a writer?

Become a producer. You know?

Oh, you're a director?
You should produce, too.

Because, you know, honestly,
it's a way to control, too.

If you have a performance that
maybe needs to be

helped a little bit or babied,
you're in the room

going, "Hey, I think we need
to help that guy."

You know, so there's a few ways

that it can be to your
advantage, as well.

-What was the final budget for
the original "Evil Dead"?

-Under $400,000.
Shy of $400,000.

Inflation dollars, I don't know,
like, $1.5 million.

-Well, famously, you guys pulled
off a ton with what you had.

-The movie was stuck at
16 millimeter.

We got it as far
as 16 millimeter.

And we couldn't get it to 35.

And we're like, "We're not
getting this theaters

unless it's in 35 millimeter."

Even drive ins.

So, I caught my dad after
he'd gotten divorced

from my mother.

He was on the back porch
of my deck

in suburban Detroit.

And I go,
"Dad, we got some property

in the middle of Michigan.

What are you gonna
do with that?"

He goes, "What do you care?
What are you talking about?"

I go, "Dad, can we use that
to get a loan

to blow up the movie to 35
so we can maybe

we can start selling it?"

He goes, "Uh, yeah.
Okay, yeah, whatever.

I don't care."

He didn't care. He was so
despondent. He didn't care.

So we had to go to
the middle of Michigan,

to the Mid-Michigan bank.

And this is a guy
in a serious suit.

You know, he gives loans
to farmers.

They don't make horror movies.

And we're like, "Okay."

We're trying to explain
to this guy.

"Okay, it's a lab process, see?

We've got the 16mm,
and you blow it up to 35!"

And then, the guy
had to stop us.

He goes, "Guys, look,
blow up whatever you want.

If you don't return the money

in the right amount of time
or pay us $444 a month,

we're taking that property.

Do you understand?"

So, we're like,
"Habahaba-dabba-dibba-sure!"

So, we did stuff like that,

but when you're 21
and your father doesn't --

when he's numb, that's the time
to do it, man.

[Laughter]

-All right.
Whatever works, right?

And then, you've been
a money-finder or a fundraiser

for other projects, too.

-When I'm forced to.

It is the hardest thing of
all -- is getting actual money.

There's a lot of people out
there who talk a good game.

So, man, in Detroit,
we met lots of hucksters.

And it's not just Los Angeles

where some businesspeople
are full of crap.

I mean, it's a nationwide thing.

-Well, this is
the number one question

I get asked by indie filmmakers.

They say, "How do you
find the money?"

So, Bruce, tell them,
they're listening --

how do you find the money?

-We went to
a regular lawyer in 1979 --

a guy named Phill Gillis.

Rob Tapert, by the way,
was always in trouble as a kid,

so he had a family lawyer,
which was this guy.

And so, he went to Phil
any time he was in trouble.

So, he goes, "I have a lawyer.

We'll go to Phil.

So, we went to Phil,
and he goes,

"You need to draw up
a Limited Partnership Agreement.

You need to be able
to present that to a businessman

and speak the language
that they speak.

You're not gonna talk
all film-makey.

You're gonna to talk about
risk factors, tax aspects.

I mean, crap that --
I put it by my bed.

Any time I had trouble sleepin',

I would just read a couple pages
of it, and I'm out.

It's the worst
horrible legal language.

But that's how we could be real

if we met with doctors
and lawyers and businessmen.

We could say...

[Nasal voice]
"Here's our movie."

[Laughter]

-So, you went to
these meetings prepared,

is the lesson
for the indie filmmaker.

-So, it gave us a structure,

and there's a lot of --
kind of opinion

that the first "Evil Dead" is
sort of a college production.

It looks like it, but it isn't,
because we actually had

a structure in place for,
when the movie comes in,

who gets paid first
and how much we each have.

So, my poor, despondent father

finally made about 20 times
his money, so he got over it.

-[Laughs] All right.

The other interesting thing
you did is, you have your own

film festival -- the Bruce
Campbell Horror Film Festival

in Rosemont, Illinois,
which is suburban Chicago.

What's that all about?

-I did that for about
three years, but the thing

I realized in my life
is that the more things I do

that are farther from what I do,
the crappier I am at it.

Administrative stuff
and running festivals.

I'm better at just being
a cheeseball actor/producer

with a little writing
on the side.

-Okay. Well, it sounded
fun, anyway.

This is the boring part
of the movie

where Tom Atkins has
all the scenes,

but you're coming back
in a major way,

so let's get back to the flick.

Now, when you meet fans,
do they expect you

to be a snappy-patter
wisecracker?

You know, 'cause you're known
for your one-liners, right?

-It's weird -- my relatives
are even weird sometimes.

'Cause I was hosting a gameshow
recently -- "Last Fan Standing."

We were touring around.

I got this place right near
my brother's house

in Ann Arbor, Michigan,

at this great venue, you know,
to do this show.

And I go, "Mike! Mike!

I got you free tickets!
Come on to the show!"

And they go, "No, we don't
like the persona."

[Laughter]-Your own family?

-I was like, "What?!

I'm giving you free tickets!"

You know, "To the best seat
in the house, you know?"

And so, they -- they had trouble
of distinguishing between

Bruce "the brother" Bruce

versus the guy that they would
see onstage who trash talks

a little more than
I normally do, you know?

So, I don't know.
I can't win.

-Bruce, will you do the look?

You did this for me years ago.

Can we do the look
so the girls will squeal

and the guys will go "awesome"?

You know?
You know the look!

You what I'm talking about.

-Honestly, I've never --

You know, my wife loves it
when I go to tour because I --

I so don't get hit on
because I play idiots.

And so, any look
I would give you here

would be very ineffective,
because most women are like,

"Oh, yeah. Nice try."

'Cause I was never, like,
a real soap opera actor.

Like, that sort of stuff.

I always wound up in stuff
that was a little weirder.

So, you know, ladies --

I mean, I might be
available, ladies,

but no one's gonna hit on me.

It's -- It's fine.
I'm over it.

[Laughter]-Okay, I don't
quite believe you.

[Laughter]

♪♪

-Here you are --
more about Cordell

than you got time to read.

-He was my hero.

-Yeah, Matt believed
in the old saying,

"Shoot first
and ask questions later."

He was kind, though.

Gentle enough
if you got to know him.

-Did you?

-Well, I hate to admit it,

but he used to like
to come in here

and look at his clippings,
just like you're doing.

He kinda liked
being a celebrity.

-It's a real shame about
what happened to him.

-It was a crime what those
politicians did to him.

-Putting him in Sing Sing
with with all those criminals

he'd been chasin'
all those years.

It was like handin' him
a death sentence.

-Well, they say he violated
people's rights.

Um, I guess even killers
got rights, huh?

-They murdered him --

those bastards
down at City Hall.

-He had no kids, no wife.

I guess a hundred-percent
cop like him,

he had no time
for a personal life, huh?

Here, Clance. Thanks.
You can put these away.

[Distant phone ringing]

-You're wrong about that.

He had himself a real nice girl.

I think he would've got married

if it hadn't been
for all that trouble.

-You know who she was?
-Sure.

He brought her in here one time
to show off for her.

She wasn't, uh, much
to look at, uh, but nice.

And, of course, a cop.

-[Chuckles] She must have
taken it pretty hard, huh?

-Worse than that.

Right after he was convicted,

the poor soul threw herself
out a window

trying to kill herself.
-Phew.

-Terrible thing
for a Catholic girl to do.

She crippled herself.

-Thanks, Clancy.

-Yeah, they don't make cops
like him anymore.

He was one of a kind.

He still is.

-What was that?

-Nothing. Forget it.

[Foghorn honks]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Gavel pounding]

♪♪

[Distant foghorn honking]

♪♪

[Gate clatters, clanks]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Slow-motion grunting]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-We'll be interrogating the
suspect for about half an hour.

-Okay, call me
when you're through.

[Door shuts]

-We know who the killer is.

-Did you tell the D.A.?

-Well, we tried to,
but he wouldn't believe us.

You won't either.

-You ever hear of a
Detective Matt Cordell?

-Yeah, he was before my time,
but, you know, he was a legend.

Really trigger-happy, right?
He died in jail.

-Yeah, suppose he didn't.
Suppose he's back.

Only now, he kills
innocent people.

-Yeah, but how could he get out
of prison alive?

-We're gonna find out.

Tomorrow morning,
I've got an appointment

with the Chief Medical Examiner

up at Sing Sing --
Doctor Gruber.

You know, why don't, uh --

why don't you continue this
questioning for a while alone?

Rough him up a little bit.

[Chair scrapes]-Thanks.

[Buzzer buzzes]

-Officer Mallory will continue

the interrogation
till I get back.

-Right.

[Door closes]

[Distant car horns honking]

-Augh!

[Body thuds]

-He knows!
-Augh!

-He knows!

There's no stopping him
if he knows!

He knows!
-Ough!

-He knows you're here!

He knows that I'm no good
to him anymore!

He knows! He knows!
He knows!

He knows I'm no good to him!

[Sobbing]

He knows I'm no good to him!

[Sobbing]

[Straining, sobbing]

-[Groans]

-He knows!

[Straining]
He knows!

He...know...

He know-- Oough...

[Gasps, screaming]

♪♪

[Muffled screaming continues]

♪♪

Oh, no! No!

No![Buzzer buzzes]

He's here!

[Screaming]

He's here! He's here!

He's here!

-Stop it! Lean on me.

Come on. Walk this way.
-He -- He's here!

-Come on. S--
-I'm not afraid to die,

but to have him kill me
when I love him so much!

♪♪

[Screaming]

[Screaming fades, stops]

[Buzzer buzzing]

-Why doesn't anybody answer?

-No! No!

-Put her down, Cordell!

-[Screaming, grunting]
-God damn it, put her down!

♪♪

You son of a bitch!

-[Screams, groans]

♪♪

♪♪

-No, no, no, stay there.

♪♪

Hey, what's the matter with you?

Didn't you hear the buzzer?

What, are you deaf?

[Screaming][Body thuds]

♪♪

Oh, Curtis! God!

-I've got to get you
out of this building.

Come on.
-What about you?!

If they see you with that gun,
you're gonna get shot!

-Don't worry about me!
-[Screaming]

♪♪

-[Gags]

♪♪

♪♪

-We gotta find McCrae.

How'd you get here?
-With McCrae.

His car is still outside.
-Okay, here's the deal.

Get in it and wait.

If we're not out
in five minutes,

hotwire it and haul ass
out of here.

You got it?
-You got it.

-Okay, go!
-Okay.

♪♪

♪♪

[Glass shatters]

-[Hollering]

♪♪

-[Screaming]

[Screaming fades]

[Distant car horns honking]

-[Sighs]

Augh!

-Keep your hands
where I can see them.

Back up against the wall.
-Hey, hold on.

I d-- I didn't do any of this.

-You broke out of your cell
and you killed 'em all.

-It wasn't me.
It was somebody else.

-Shut up!
-He's still here.

You're letting him get away!

-Nobody's gettin' away.
I'm calling for backups.

[Screams]

Ugh!

-Don't even try.
-Okay! Okay!

-Listen. [Panting]

I didn't do any of this.
-Sure, you didn't.

-Put your guns over there.

All right, on your face --
both of ya.

-Hey, man, we going after him?

-You heard him.
He didn't do it.

-Theresa.
Come on, let's go.

♪♪

-Seems a little early
for Tom Atkins to die,

don't you think, Darcy?

-Yes! Oh, my God.

-I mean, he's the top-billed
actor in the movie.

He's the star, and so there's
a plot necessity

right at this point in the film.

Bruce Campbell
must escape from jail.

Otherwise, we have
no protagonist.

Don't you think, though, Darcy,
that if Tom has to be replaced,

Bruce is not a bad choice?

-He is a good back-up.
-All right.

[Laughs] I know you love Tom.

Tom Atkins is a Pittsburgh guy,

like so many people
in the horror world.

He was born there in 1935,
which means he's 85

and still going strong.

He's got projects he's working
on even as we speak.

Tom's film "day-butt" was in
1968 in the Frank Sinatra movie

"The Detective."

And, um, go ahead, Darcy.

You're the expert on Tom Atkins.

What else did Tom Atkins do?

-Uh, "Halloween 3," "The Fog,"

"Escape from New York,"
"Creepshow."

-All right. Well, one role
people don't really

talk so much about when
Tom's career is discussed

is that he was
Lieutenant Alex Diehl

on "The Rockford Files."
-Mm-hmm.

-You know, the commander
who's always trying

to throw James Garner in jail?

You know, he was a foil
to Joe Santos

as Sergeant Dennis Becker,
who was always helping Rockford

even when he didn't want to.

So, the way those plots went
was, "Dennis, help me out."

You know, "No, Jim, not again.

You ask for too much."

"Come on, Dennis, have a heart!"

You know, "Do you know
what will happen to both of us

if Diehlfinds out?"

And Tom Atkins was Diehl,
the hardass.

Anyway, I wanted
to tell one story

before we say goodbye to Tom.

Tom Atkins also had a long,
distinguished stage career

both in New York -- where he won
the Drama Desk Award --

and in Pittsburgh, where he
frequently appeared at the

Pittsburgh Public Theater.

And his most famous role
at his hometown theater

was in a one-man show
called "The Chief,"

in which he played
the legendary owner

of the Pittsburgh Steelers,
Art Rooney.

So, every year,
they have what's called

the Dapper Dan Dinner
in Pittsburgh

to raise money for charity,
and it's something

the "Pittsburgh Post-Gazette"
started a hundred years ago,

and Tom was invited the year
he was doing his one-man show.

And everybody is in tuxedoes
at those things,

so you don't always
recognize people immediately.

And he ends up striking up
a conversation

with the father of Jamie Dixon,

who is the famous
basketball coach

at University of Pittsburgh.

Well, then, he was at the
University of Pittsburgh.

Now he coaches
the Horned Frogs --

the TCU Horned Frogs.

And as they're talking,
Jamie Dixon's father

is looking at Atkins
kinda weird, and he's saying,

"We've met before, right?"

And Tom is saying
"No, I don't think so."

And then, later,
the guy bolts across the room,

and he says,
"I know where we met before!

We worked together
on 'Maniac Cop'!"

And it turns out that
the father of Jamie Dixon,

the basketball coach,
is Jim Dixon, who plays Clancy,

the cop in the records room
who keeps saying,

"You know, real shame about what
happened to that Matt Cordell.

He was my hero.

Crime, what those
politicians did to him --

puttin' him in Sing Sing
with all those criminals

he'd been chasing."

So, that guy!

And it turns out that Jim Dixon

was in the
Larry Cohen stock company.

He was also in "Black Caesar,"
"Hell Up in Harlem,"

"Q the Winged Serpent,"
"It's Alive," "God Told Me To,"

"The Stuff," "The Ambulance."

I think I counted
11 Larry Cohen movies

on Jim Dixon's credit list.

So, Jim Dixon was Larry Cohen's
go-to New York Irishman.

Usually, when Tom Atkins
gets noticed, though,

it's because somebody thinks
he's a cop.

Usually, a real cop thinking

it's a cop he must have
worked with in the past,

because Tom Atkins has played
67 million cops.

Okay, Bruce!

Now that we have introduced
brutalized zombie cop

Matt Cordell,
played by Robert Z'dar --

nicknamed "The Chin" --

This is the only movie,
as far as I know,

in which the two main actors
are both nicknamed "The Chin."

Did you compare chins?

Did you pose
for any chin selfies?

Did you do chin-ups together
as a promotion?

-Robert Z'dar's got me
hands down, though.

I couldn't even in my heyday --

my chinfull heyday --
which was pretty good in 1987.

But there's something
with Robert Z'dar.

There were many theories
of why he was how he was --

some of them scandalous,
some of them shocking.

But I think he always
kind of looked --

He looked like he had
a prosthetic on already.

But, you know what's funny?

As is the case
with most bad guys in movies,

they're actually
really sweet and funny,

and it's the guys
who play the good guys

who are the jerks in real life.

It's kind of funny --

I've run into Z'dar
at conventions all the time.

He had a very good time.

He had no change coming back.
-All right.

Well, Robert Z'dar was a
controversial casting decision

at the time, because Larry Cohen
wanted the Maniac Cop

to be very athletic and agile,

and he thought Robert
was too hulking and slow.

So he wanted to hire
an honest-to-God stuntman,

but Bill Lustig thought
Z'dar just looked scary.

He'd seen him as the killer in
a movie called "Night Stalker."

But you're about to get
really physical with him.

You were 29 at the time.

Robert was 37,
but he outweighed you

by about 150 pounds.

Do you think you could have

taken Robert Z'dar
in a fair fight?

-Oh, no, Bob was a big dude.

Yeah, he was pretty jacked.

Uh, no, not a chance.

I was a wiry bastard in 1987, so
maybe I could have outrun him.

I don't know, but it was
funny -- Bill was funny.

I wanted to do more stuff
and have him rough me around,

and I wanted to hang off that
police wagon more.

And Bill was -- he was kind of
nervous about that.

So, I had a stunt guy who --

I had just come
off of "Evil Dead 2."

I used a stunt guy
in "Evil Dead 2"

to fall down the stairs,
'cause you can break your neck.

But normally, it was kind of me
gettin' banged up.

And I go, "Bill,
let's do the fight."

And he's like, "Oh, no, no, no.

We'll get the stunt guy
to do that."

I go, "I'm right here."

See, he wouldn't let me
do stuff, but it was weird

to sit and watch the stunt guy
for like the first time going,

"Oh, I could have done that,
Bill, but that's all right."

You know, so, it was fine.

He was better safe than sorry.

-Well, I ask you this
as an expert and an icon.

Do you mind being called
an icon, by the way?

-Oh, as long as it's not me
saying it, it's fine.

-[Laughs] Okay.

Well, I ask you this
as an expert --

what's the deal
with '80s nostalgia?

People always say
the '80s were better

for exploitation films,
genre films --

whatever they're
calling 'em today.

-Man, I don't know.

I -- No, I don't think so.

I think the '70s had
as good of movies as anything.

'70s had tons of good movies.

'80s? Uh, you'd have to
sort of name 'em for me,

'cause I don't even --

I don't know
where the nostalgia is.

-Well, I would actually
agree with you.

I'm all about the '70s, really.

But, um, there's definitely
a lot of '80s worship goin' on.

Anyhow, I would say "Maniac Cop"

is a worthy part
of the '80s pantheon,

so let's get back to it.

♪♪

Actually there's a third "Chin."

Um...

Uh, Vincent "The Chin" Gigante.

You know, he used to walk around

the neighborhood
I was living in.

He was wearing his pajamas all
the time and talking to himself

so the FBI that had him
under surveillance

would think he was crazy.

'Cause if he was crazy,

he couldn't possibly be the head
of the Genovese crime family.

So, [Laughs he wasn't
in very good shape,

but I think, of the three Chins,
he was probably the one

you don't wanna fight with,
if you know what I mean --

and I think you do.

[Laughter]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-I'm keeping McCrae's
appointment at Sing Sing.

-Sure, walk into a prison
with half the police force

out looking for you.

You're a brave man.

-No, no -- not brave.
Scared shitless.

Unless we can prove
that Cordell is still alive,

it's gonna be my ass.

♪♪

♪♪

[Door clangs]

♪♪

-Step over there, please.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Gates clanging]

-Line up on the line!

-To your left.

[Phone rings]

-Yes, can I help you?

-Yeah, we've got
an 8:00 A.M. meeting

with your Doctor Grubber.

We're a little early.
-You got a name?

-McCrae --
Detective Frank McCrae.

-Uh-huh.

Okay, the doctor's office is
around back t-to your left.

-All right, thank you.
-You're welcome.

-You knew Matt Cordell?

-Aren't many like that.

I did the autopsy on him.

-Now, look -- the authorities
knew that something like that

could happen to him.

Why didn't they prevent it?

-Why, he wouldn't allow it.

I mean, he refused
to be in isolation.

I guess he... [Chuckles]

didn't want to admit
that he was afraid.

-What do you do
in a case like that?

-What do you mean?

-Well, when they're
all cut up like that?

-[Sighs] This is no ordinary
mortician's home.

I mean, we're not into
cosmetic approaches here.

When a prisoner dies,
it's not our job

to make him look good again
for his family.

We stitch up the parts

and put them into a wooden box,
and we bury him.

-Is that what happened
to Matt Cordell?

-I don't know, I'd have to
look in my records.

-Would you mind?

-Hmm.

Mostly, they just go
to Potter's Field.

[Drawer slides]

Oh.

Yes.

Cordell's records.

His body was claimed
by a woman.

-May I see that?
-Sure.

We both know Miss Noland.

-I think before this goes
any further,

I'd like to see some
identification,

Detective McCrae.

Something with
a photograph on it.

-Detective Lieutenant McCrae
died early this morning.

He was murdered.

He was murdered by the same man

that killed more
than half a dozen people

at police headquarters
last night.

-I haven't gotten
to my morning paper yet.

No wonder you know
all the lurid details.

If I would've murdered
a bunch of officers,

the last place I'd come
is to a penitentiary.

-Don't bullshit us.

You know who did those killings.

-How could I know?

-Cordell wasn't dead.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Dull, sluggish heartbeat]

♪♪

[Dull, sluggish heartbeat]

♪♪

♪♪

[Dull, sluggish heartbeat]

♪♪

[Dull, sluggish heartbeat]

♪♪

[Heart beats
in time with thrusts]

♪♪

-And then you saved him.

Answer me!

-[Sighs] Look, he was
a fine detective.

He had a lot of friends.

Everyone knew if we put him back
in the prison community,

they'd just attack him again.

There was no way
he could survive.

So, when they brought him
up here, more dead than alive,

a policewoman convinced me
to do the decent thing.

-Like remove him
from the prison mortuary alive?

-He wasn't exactly alive.

He had severe brain damage.

I was certain that he was
legally dead.

I was telling the truth when
I signed that death certificate.

There's no way he could function
as a human being again!

-Read the newspapers, Doc.

-Get out of my office.

Now.

You never came here.

I'm not gonna pick up
that phone.

This never happened.

-There's no end to your decency,
is there, Doctor?

-What did I do wrong?

You should have seen him
on the operating table.

Cut to pieces.

I know the system screwed him.

The politicians
put him in prison

and the inmates did the rest,

and now you're trying
to ruin my life and my career.

-We're not trying
to ruin anybody.

We just want to bury
Matt Cordell once and for all.

-[Sighs]

Get out of here.

Go away.

[Phone ringing]

-Here you are, Doctor.
Put this on.

-What are you talking about?

-You know it's
St. Patrick's Day?

The parade.

The Mayor and Police
Commissioner will be there.

-Yeah, along with 5,000 cops.

You know, I'll bet Cordell used
to love walking in that parade

every year he was on the force.

-Yeah, well, whatever he loved,
he hates now.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Festive bagpipe music plays]

♪♪

♪♪

[Cheering]

♪♪

-And so, this year's
St Patrick's Day parade

continues on schedule
despite speculation

that the parade
may have been cancelled

due to fear of violence.

Authorities report scores
of death threats

against the police,

plus threats of bombings
along the parade route.

But this has not deterred
a record crowd for turning out

for New York's 50th annual
St. Patrick's Day parade.

And what a parade it is.

Public outrage over
the continued killings

by the so-called "Maniac Cop"

have brought many
hostile New Yorkers

to New York's 5th Avenue today.

Police security forces
and the special bomb squads

are out in full force as well
as plainclothes detectives

who are mixed in with the crowd.

♪♪

-I can't walk in there.

They're gonna shoot me on sight.
-I'll do it.

-all right, but you gonna get
to the Commissioner.

-Oh, I'm supposed to
convince him these killings

are being committed
by a dead man.

-Commissioner Pike
was Chief of Police

when Cordell was sent to jail.

He's probably the one
that Cordell blames

more than anybody else.

-Where you gonna be?

-I'm gonna be right here.
-Okay.

[Distant cheering continues]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Laughing] So, he says,
"Commissioner, sir,

that is my wife."

[Laughter][Door opens]

[Muffled parade music continues]

♪♪

-Look who just walked in.

Jack Forrest's girlfriend.

♪♪

-All right,
everybody outta here.

♪♪

[Door shuts]

-All right, so,
where is the son of a bitch?

-He's willing
to give himself up --

after youlisten.

-Oh, so, you're
giving orders now?

-I know who committed
these murders.

-So do we, sweetheart.
It's your boyfriend.

-You're wrong.
It's a man named Matt Cordell.

♪♪

-[Scoffs] A ghost.

-Did you come up with this
lunatic idea by yourself,

or are you on drugs?

-It was McCrae's theory,
but we verified it.

-[Chuckles]
Listen, sweetheart --

Last night,
before McCrae was murdered,

he called my house,
and I wasn't there.

I was at a charity event,
but he was kind enough

to leave a message
on my service.

Would you like
to give a listen?

[Beep]
-This is Frank McCrae.

I've got solid evidence
this homicidal maniac

is getting information
from inside the Department.

His accomplice is a female
employee, a policewoman.

I'll be at the Crime Records
Division waiting.

Call me when you get in.
[Beep]

-Of course, he couldn't have
been talking about you --

A policewoman.

A killer's accomplice.

-He's talking about
Sally Noland.

-Oh, that's really great.

You accuse a dead woman
when the fact is...

-[Sighs]
-The log states
that you came to see

Jack Forrest last night
on alleged police business

and that you aided in his escape
from the cell block...

and that you helped him kill
all those people.

-That's a lie.

[Buzzer buzzes]

-Why are you doing this?

You know I'm telling you
the truth about Cordell.

-Enough of this shit.

I've got a parade to attend.

-That's right,
and you'd better go, sir.

You know, everyone else has left
for the reviewing stand.

-No, wait. You may be in danger
if you go down there.

Don't you understand?!

Cordell wants to kill you
and the Mayor!

-Is that's what Forrest
told you to say?

-If you have any sense at all,
you won't go down there.

-Book her!

Accessory to
first-degree murder.

-Next year, Commissioner,
avoid the reporters.

[Muffled cheers and applause]

[Handcuffs clattering]

[Door closes]-Sit down.

-What?
-Right here.

[Muffled parade music continues]

♪♪

-I don't understand.

I thought you were
gonna book me.

-Well, uh, what's the rush?

I mean, we've got
the Commissioner's office

all to ourselves.

-We got a place in Newberg --
you know, me and the old lady.

-[Sighs]
-We're gonna go
up there and camp --

-I'm happy for you.
-Uh, Commissioner, the tie?

-Never mind the tie.
Come on. Come on.

-[Chuckles]
Hurry up and wait, eh?

-Eh, it'll be here.

♪♪

-Ugh!
-Ugh!

-[Gasps hoarsely] Cordell!

[Blade slicing]

♪♪

[Bodies thud]

♪♪

♪♪

-Why don't you put
a real feather in my cap

and lay it all out for me?

The reason behind
those killings --

it was extortion money,
wasn't it?

-Money had nothing to do
with those killings.

It was an act of vengeance
against the city.

-You know,
the truth is, darlin',

I could use a collar
like this one.

Come on, win me
the big promotion.

Make me a hero.

-If you gonna put me
under arrest,

I wanna see my lawyer.

-You know, you got
a real rotten-ass attitude.

Fine, let's go.
I'll take you downstairs.

[Handcuffs clicking]

[Muffled parade music continues]

♪♪

[Door opens, shuts]

Don't give me
any trouble, huh?

This is great.
I don't believe this.

Everybody else
has gone to parade,

and I'm stuck here
with you.

This is fantastic.

You with your great attitude.
Really makes things nice.

You know what, I'll tell you
something else.

Gagh!

-[Screaming]

♪♪

[Frantic grunting]

♪♪

♪♪

[Whimpering, grunting]

♪♪

[Frantic grunting]

♪♪

[Wood creaking][Knocking on door]

♪♪

Ah! [Wailing frantically]

♪♪

Ah!

♪♪

[Wailing frantically]

♪♪

Rreeaugh!

♪♪

[Distant cheering]

♪♪

[Wailing]

♪♪

[Grunting frantically]

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey, isn't that Forrest?

♪♪

Let's get him!

♪♪

-Hold right there!
-Hey. Hey.

Wait. No, no, no!
-Get him!

-All right, hold him.
-No!

-Damn it, let go of me!
-Come on, let's go.

-Get him moving.
-Can't you see what
the hell's going on there?

Gah! Listen to me!

He's up there!
He sneaked into Pike's office!

[Grunts]

-Don't you go giving any orders!

I ought to put a bullet
right between your eyes.

Then I'd be a hero!

-Rgh! I'm the wrong guy!
-Come on!

-Come on!
-He's up there! God!

♪♪

-Somebody inform His Honor

that his Maniac Cop
has been recaptured.

♪♪

-Oof!

[Engine starts]

♪♪

[Tires squealing]

-Ugh!

♪♪

Hurry up!
You're wasting time!

The killer's in
that paddy wagon!

Come on! Let's go!

[Engine starts]

[Siren wailing]

[Tires squealing]

♪♪

-One reason they call him
the Maniac Cop

is that he drives
like a maniac, right?

And that chase scene
is far from over.

In fact, most of the rest of the
movie is that chase scene.

You know the scene
where they go up to Sing Sing

on the Metro North Railroad,

and they talk to
the medical examiner

who did the autopsy
on Matt Cordell's body

after he was set upon
by the shower thugs?

Well, the doctor
is Erik Holland,

a veteran character actor
from Norway who spent virtually

his entire life in Hollywood,
which is why you don't notice

any traces of his
Scandinavian accent.

Well-known to Trekkies as Ekor,
the Scalosian scientist.

Ekor was hyperaccelerated.

And we won't go into
hyperacceleration,

but he was radiation-poisoned.

In this movie, he explains
the brilliant Larry Cohen thesis

of how Matt Cordell could be
alive and dead at the same time.

Leave it to Larry Cohen
to come up with this.

"Yeah, well, brain dead, yes.

So I was not lying, and the
girlfriend came and got him

because none of us wanted to see
him go back into population."

So, great plot device
to make Matt Cordell a zombie

and a real cop and a psycho
all at the same time.

Erik Holland, sadly,
passed away in April 2020

in the midst of the coronavirus
outbreak at the age of 86.

What the brain-dead Matt Cordell
did not count on

was the resourcefulness
of his paddy wagon prisoner,

Bruce Campbell.

Bruce, I assume you did
your own stunts

in this wacky conclusion
to "Maniac Cop"?

-Yeah, Bill let me
do a little more

in the back of the paddy wagon.

I said, "Just roll. Let me roll.

Just roll. Let me throw myself
around, you know?

And you'll use a bunch of it."

So, yeah, he was good
about that.

But I have to say,
at the end sequence

when the van goes off the pier
and into the air?

That stunt guy who had to
drive it himself --

I think Spiros was his name --

had to drive it himself,
and as it went off --

You can't go in the drink
with that van.

That's a stunt guy no-no.

You've gotta be clear
of the van.

So, he has to get to speed.

Then he has to hit correctly
while fake acting,

and then let this sucker go.

Unbelievable.

I mean, it really is
a first-class stunt.

That's one thing
with Bill Lustig.

He's very specific, man.

He likes set pieces.

I guess I would say that
of maybe '80s movies.

The Glickenhaus theory.

You had set pieces.
You had sequences.

They're not as expensive
as a "James Bond" movie,

but "James Bond"
is the only other franchise

that understands set pieces.

Like a fight in a sewer,
a fight in a police van.

You know, so, Bill was really
good about that stuff.

He understood what needed
to be done in these movies.

-Did you want to do
the big stunt?

-No, the good news is, even by
then, I was smart enough to know

that I could, "A," injure crew
members or myself or the van --

'Cause if you blow it, man,
just forget it.

No, no, I'm really good now.

I sit back and read a newspaper
and have a cup of coffee

and watch the guy
go off the pier.

I'm way better now.

I love sharing it
with the stunt guys.

And after, we're like,
"Hey, how'd that work for ya?"

-[Laughs] Laurene Landon says

that she had a mad crush on you
during this movie.

Did you guys ever get together?

Have a few cocktails?

-You know what, I was so square
during that time.

I was married.
I had kids already.

I didn't drink.

I didn't even smoke reefer
or nothin'.

I showed up
a professional actor.

And, you know, I was always
sort of trained,

"Don't fall in love
with the lead actress."

Because it's just --

'Cause if the chemistry turns,
it's just --

It's better to flirt.

Flirt and catch the flirtatious
nature on camera.

She was extremely
easy to work with,

so I detected more of a
brother/sister thing

rather than, you know,
this sort of business.

-[Laughs]
Well, this movie was made prior

to the Cult Of Bruce
that came later.

Were you aware of having
a large fan base in 1988?

-No, I did my first
convention in '88.

It was a Fangoria Weekend of
Horrors thing in Detroit.

And I think people showed up
just because it was Detroit.

You know, and I'm from there,

so I think I got maybe
an artificial sense of that.

No, it took a while to build up,
'cause the "Evil Dead" movies --

the first one was in 1979.

It took four years to make.

So I flushed
four years of my life

just trying to make the movie.

Then, a couple weird movies
in between.

The second "Evil Dead"
is in 1986, seven years later.

"Army of Darkness" is 1991.

We didn't really exactly
crank these things out.

So I've been sort of floating
on the fringes for a while.

And I think after
"Army of Darkness,"

you had enough
"Evil Dead" movies

to create a cult following.

You gotta have about
three of these movies,

each with different flavors,
for people to follow

and then look "home video."

-Well, the "Evil Dead" movies
really found their audience

at the video store.
I know they did.

-God bless Anchor Bay
for everything they did

to resurrect "The Making Of."

You know, the movie's two hours.

"The Making Of" on these DVDs

used to be 18, 20,
25 hours of "extras."

That really brought it back,
and those guys really helped

"Evil Dead" just surge
in general.

And then, once every decade,
then we make another one,

and, you know --

It's not the "Star Wars"
linear thing

where George Lucas woke up
when he was ten

and had this all imagined.

We farted these out over decades
in no particular order.

-Oh.

I know you've talked about being
the second choice

for many famous roles,
like the Richard Gere role

in "Pretty Woman."

I mean, everybody has
casting stories.

"I was considered for this."

"I read for that."

But you've had
more than your share

of heartbreaking
near-misses, right?

-I suppose, but, man,
you can't get sour grapes

about any of that, really.

Because sometimes --
what's the Garth Brooks song?

Uh, "Thank God
for unanswered prayers."

You know, I tried to get
in "The Phantom,"

which was a big Hollywood movie
that Billy Zane got, eventually.

And he's, you know,
guy in tights

riding a white horse
through the jungle.

It seemed like I was up to it
at that time.

It was the first time
I really went through that --

what is basically
a political process

to become a star
of a studio movie.

Starting with the writer,
Jeffrey Boam,

I went to all of these meetings
and sort of worked my way.

Even Robert Evans --

I had this completely bizarre
meeting with Robert Evans,

and to kiss his ring
is part of this process.

And then, it got down to me
and Billy Zane.

And then, they auditioned us.

It was my first screen test.

When I say "screen test," now
they're on ugly, crappy video.

They loaded up the 35mm, man.

Our screen test
was on the studio, on camera.

I thought, "Okay, good.

at least I get a chance
to duke it out,

you know, with Billy Zane."

And he got it,
and the movie bombed.

So no harm, no fowl.

You know, then he got "Titanic."

He's good.
-[Laughs]

Well, we're glad things turned
out the way they did, actually.

We're gonna watch you
dispatch the Maniac Cop now.

The great Robert Z'dar --
the other "Chin" -- [Laughs]

whose last days were spent
in Pensacola, Florida,

because he developed chest pains
while he was signing autographs

at Pensacon, which is
the comics convention

in Pensacola, Florida.

And Bruce, I should
ask you this,

'cause that story
makes me incredibly sad.

You know, I know you do
conventions, I do conventions,

but I don't think I'd like
to dieat a convention.

If I'm gonna die today,

I would prefer it not be
during the afternoon panel

on slasher films.

So, what do you think?

-Uh, no, I tend to disagree.

I think I gotta go during a Q&A.

-[Laughs]
-It's just --

Oliver Reed, he was in a pub,
and he went.

[Claps] And for Oliver Reed,

that was exactly
how he should go.

I'd love to do a Q&A when I go,

"Let me think about that
for a second."

[Laughter]

And then, I just put
my head down, and it just --

They clap 'cause they think
it's a joke.

You know, something like that.

I don't mind going on--

Going on the job is okay
'cause that's better

than the iron lung
for six months,

or some kind of long-term
suffering thing.

I'm okay.
Just get it over with quick.

That's all I ask for.

-[Laughs] Okay, Bruce.
Well, thanks.

I expect you to come back
every 20 years.

We'll always be ready to honor
"The Chin."

-Joe Bob, I will be there,
'cause by then,

it'll be retinal technology,
and you and I will be

holograms floating around people
at that point,

so I look forward to that.

See you soon.

-All right.

And now, for the
rollicking conclusion

to "Maniac Cop."

Roll it.

And, Bruce, you're
a real Campbell, right?

You're Clan Campbell,

which is about as hardcore
Scottish as it gets.

Do you have a tartan kilt?

Have you been
to the castle at Argyll?

Do you hate Norm MacDonald?

'Cause don't all Campbells
hate all MacDonalds?

I think I have that right.
Or vice versa.

I know my Scottish history,
you know?

Campbells won't even eat
at McDonald's.

And MacDonalds won't eat
Campbell Soup.

So don't turn your back
on Norm, man.

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Car horns honking]

[Horn honking]

♪♪

-Gah!

♪♪

[Sirens wailing]-You know how
to handle a shotgun?

-You get close enough
and watch me.

♪♪

-Hey! Hey!

Look out!

♪♪

-[Over radio] Vehicle last seen
headed towards the river.

Lost contact.

-The river?
I think I know where he's going!

-Yeah, sure.
-No, listen to me!

Do you know where Pier 14 is?

-Those piers are all closed.
They're collapsing.

-McCrae once tracked him
to Pier 14.

♪♪

[Tires screeching]

[Sirens wailing][Car horns honking]

♪♪

[Tires screeching]

♪♪

[Tires screeching]

♪♪

♪♪

-Rgh!

♪♪

[Metal squeals]

♪♪

[Sirens wailing]

♪♪

[Car horn honks]

♪♪

[Car horn honks]

♪♪

♪♪

Gah!

-Hurry up!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Guh!

♪♪

[Approaching engine rumbling]

♪♪

-Ugh!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Sirens wailing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Distant foghorn blowing]

[Axe slamming][Metal creaking]

-Hold on a sec!
Let me call for a backup!

This is car 4604 requesting
a backup at Pier 14 right away!

-Hgh-- Grr!

Guh!

♪♪

[Gunshot][Gun cocks]

♪♪

-Let him go, Cordell!

-Oh!

-Ah! Ugh!

-Theresa, get these cuffs off.

-The keys.
-Guh --

-The keys.

♪♪

[Gun cocks]

-Hold it there!

♪♪

-[Grunts]

Ooagh! [Grunts]

[Stammers] Gyagh!

[Sirens wailing]

♪♪

[Engine starts, revving]

♪♪

-Gah!

♪♪

♪♪

Whoa!

♪♪

-[Hollering]

♪♪

-Whoa!

-[Hollering]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Seagulls calling]

♪♪

[Water burbling]

♪♪

[Foghorn blowing]

♪♪

[Engine putting]

[Metal creaking, banging]

-Watch it, watch it.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Camera shutter clicks]

[Gun cocks]

[Indistinct chatter]

-Watch that drowned freak
comin' out of there!

[Metal crashes]

[Guns cock]

[Camera shutter clicking]

-Whoa!
-Whoa! Whoa!

[Foghorn blows]

[Indistinct
police radio chatter]

[Indistinct chatter]

-Whoa, careful!

-Whoa, hey!
Be careful, now!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-And so, the Maniac Cop plunges
into -- and emerges from --

the nasty East River --

which actually was not
the East River.

It was the East Basin Channel
at the Port of Los Angeles

in San Pedro, which is, I admit,
the grittiest part of L.A.

Isn't that where Tony Scott
went to kill himself?

I think it's the prime
suicide location

for Southern California.

Anyway, Robert Z'dar,
the Maniac Cop,

suffered from a rare genetic
disorder called cherubism,

and there have only been
200 recorded cases in history.

But that's where you lose bone
in your lower jaw,

but it's replaced with masses
of fibrous tissue.

And that accounts
for his unique visage,

but he made it work for him
playing heavies and monsters

for most of his career.

Robert was from Chicago,
studied acting at Arizona State,

was briefly in a rock band.

He was a singer/keyboard guy,
guitar player.

Was briefly a jingle writer
at an ad agency;

was briefly a Chicago
police officer;

was briefly
a Chippendales dancer.

I wish they had video of that.

Robert Z'dar at Chippendales.

And he's mostly known
for this movie,

but he had a lot of genre roles.

Like, he was the prison guard
in "Hellhole."

He was the hooker-killing serial
killer in "The Night Stalker."

He was the vicious criminal
who beats up Sylvester Stallone

in "Tango and Cash."

He was the actual Angel of Death
in "Soultaker."

He was Linnea Quigley's
abusive husband

in "The Rockville Slayer."

And Bill Lustig, he doesn't like
for me to talk about this,

but there was a really bad movie
called "Samurai Cop"

that attempted to capitalize
on the success of "Maniac Cop,"

and they hired Robert Z'Dar

in a straight-acting role
as the lead.

Big mistake, as it turned out
and as you will discover

if you listen to my commentary
track on the Media Blasters DVD,

if there are still any copies
of that out there somewhere.

They were planning a sequel
to "Samurai Cop"

at the time of Z'dar's death,
and I-I-I have no idea why.

And yes, he really did die
after getting heart palpitations

during the Pensacon convention
at the Crowne Plaza Hotel

in Pensacola in 2015.

Okay, come on over, Darcy.

Thumbs-up o-- Oh, my God.

Uh, you know...
[Laughing]

Isn't this the second time

you have dressed up
as Tom Atkins?

-I'm gonna do it
every single time

until you bring him
on the show.

-Um, anyway, thumbs-up on
"Maniac Cop"?

-Big thumbs-up, yeah.

Bruce Campbell
is so adorable in this.

-He's adorable?
-Yeah!

-You call him adorable?

-He's still making
his little Ash faces.

Honestly, he reminds me
a lot of you.

-I don't make Ash faces.

What do you mean?

-Y'all should have played
brothers in something.

-Bruce is an athlete!

Bruce is -- Bruce hurls himself
through the air,

often while spouting
witty one-liners, you know?

-You have witty one-liners.

-Yeah, I know,
but I'm not an athlete.

Do you know me?

I have non-witty
thousand-liners!

I don't have one-liners.
-That's true, that's true.

But it's still not too late
for you guys to play brothers.

-Oh, I'd have to be
the slacker brother.

You know, I'd be
the Dennis Quaid

to his Randy Quaid, you know?

Er, no, I'd be the Randy Quaid
to his Dennis Quaid, actually.

But anyway, you liked the movie?

-I did.

Tom Atkins,
Bruce Campbell together --

It's like fangirl's
wet dream come true.

-Okay, well, I'm --
I'm getting a visual on that.

We'll just move on from that.

But anyway --

-It's simple, and it's kind of
by the book,

but that's part of its charm.

The naked fight scene's
really cool, and --

even though they wussed out

and they didn't really
show very much.

-The naked fight scene --

you mean in the shower
at the prison?
-Yeah.

-All right.
-They could have showed more.

-That was not Robert Z'Dar.

That was Spiro Razatos
doing all the stuntwork.

Although I don't believe they
used stunt "bewtocks" for that.

That may have been the actual
bewtocks of Robert Z'dar.

-It definitely could have used a
lot more Robert Z'dar,

but overall, it's fun
and totally worthy

of its cult status.

-Okay, well, I agree with that.

All right, what you got for me?

-Tonight we have a father-son
monster movie podcast

hosted by 8-year-old
Alistair Burnham

and his CadaverDad Jef Burnham.

-He calls his father CadaverDad?

-He sure does.
Everyone calls him CadaverDad.

And they do a podcast together
from what they call

"Frankenstein's Monkey Farm,"
which is Chicago.

It's called "CadaverCast."

-And what kind of antics go on
on "CadaverCast?"

-[Laughs] Al and his dad discuss
and review

horror movies,
and it's pretty much

the most adorable podcast ever.

-This is "adorable" night,
right?

First, we have adorable Bruce.

Now, we have adorable podcast.

I have to assume that
Jef is one of those dads

who believes young children
should be allowed

to watch R-rated horror movies.

-Surprisingly, no.

The only R-rated film
Al has seen is "The Lost Boys."

They have episodes called
"Who the Al is..."

in which Al speculates
about horror movies

he's not allowed to see yet
but has opinions on

based on the DVD cover art
and merch that his dad collects.

Al has a list of the seven best

family-friendly
Halloween movies,

and one of them
is "Night of the Comet."

So, he's a very smart
little kid.

-Okay.
-He also interviewed
Misty Talley,

director of "Santa Jaws,"
which is a movie I love.

-So, the eight-year-old
interviewed the director?

-Mm-hmm.
-Okay, are you saying
you have a lot in common

with the tastes
of an eight-year-old?

-I totally do.[Laughter]

Al loves the genuinely
spooky stuff.

He was scared
by one particular scene

in "Phantom of the Paradise."

You just have to listen.

It's a great listen
for ghouls of all ages.

-Okay, well, I'm happy
to be sending out

the latest Silver Bolo Award

for excellence in horror media
to CadaverCast in Chicago.

So, Yuki, come on over
and make sure

this genuine silver bolo
gets to the Prairie State,

home of Barack Obama
and CadaverCast.

[Laughter]

You sticking around
for "Maniac Cop 2"?

-I mean, do I have a choice?
-No.

I'm Joe Bob Briggs,
reminding you that

whenever you find yourself
in a hole,

the first thing you need to do
is stop diggin'.

The drive-in will never die.

Did I ever tell you the one
about the old man

who picked up a frog?

-Probably.

-Are you saying
I repeat these jokes?

-Oh, yeah. All the time.
-All right.

Well, I don't think
you've heard this one.

Old man picks up a frog.

The frog says, "Kiss me and I'll
turn into a princess."

Old man sticks the frog
in his pocket.

The frog says,
"Aren't you gonna kiss me?"

The man says, "I'm 85 years old.

I'd rather have a talking frog."

[Laughter]

-Okay. [Laughs]

♪♪