Original subtitles

[Wind whistling]

[Crow caws]

[Scraping]

♪♪

-Americans invented the four-lane divided

interstate highway, which were the first roads

in the world that didn't have

any stop signs or traffic lights.

Because Americans don't like to stop.

Ever.

Until they're dead.

Americans like to boogie.

Which is a good thing.

♪♪

♪♪

-♪ Hey, everybody, have you heard the news? ♪

♪ Joe Bob is back in town ♪

♪ He's over at the drive-in, hanging around ♪

♪ Watching crazy movies, so come on down ♪

♪ To Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Blood, beasties, boobies, and more ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's a spooky good time with monsters and ghosts ♪

♪ Crazy, kooky fun with the world's greatest host ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be legendary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be very scary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's "Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-You know, one thing that happens when people

are cooped up all the time is that they become psychic.

[Laughter]

-Have you noticed this?

"I was just thinking about something that might happen...

and it happened!"

You know?

That's maybe because when you're cooped up all the time,

you have the chance to think about every possibility

of everything that might happen.

But everywhere I go, I meet these psychic people.

Psychics to the left of me, psychics to the right of me.

And the ones who aren't psychic

pay psychics to tell them psychic stuff.

You know, I'm not psychic. I know this.

I don't even know what the second movie is tonight.

Oh, and look, I just forgot to introduce the first movie.

So someday we're gonna get an actual format for this show.

"Maniac Cop."

-[Cheers and applause] -At last!

The beloved "Maniac Cop," with an all-star list of

horror icons both behind and in front of the camera,

including Bruce Campbell, Tom Atkins, William Smith.

Jake LaMotta is in the movie.

Richard Roundtree.

"You have the right to remain silent.

Forever."

One of the all-time great movie posters.

Anyway, I'm not psychic.

I'm wrong about the weather.

I'm wrong about my career.

I say wrong things to Darcy all the time.

In fact, I'm getting a psychic message right now

that I forgot to introduce Darcy.

Darcy!

Darcy the Mail Girl, ladies and gentlemen.

She's here to serve you.

She put the "social" in social media.

She put the "E" in e-mail.

And don't do that again, Darcy. It's against TSA regulations.

Are you psychic at all, Darcy?

-I think psychic kind of just means

that you're paying attention.

-Do you pay attention?

-On this show, I kind of have to.

-Well, do you remember what the second movie is?

-Yeah.

-Because I remember we paired something up with "Maniac Cop."

But I don't remember what it was.

-We did.

-Alright, go ahead and announce it because I don't remember.

-"Maniac Cop 2."

-Oh, yeah. Okay.

Anyway, yeah, anyway.

My point is, all the stuff that psychics talk about

I'm wrong about.

If a message suddenly came into my brain saying,

"You will meet a mysterious woman named Rhonda

two weeks from Thursday, and she'll give you

a hundred dollars," I would know that I ate

too much chili at lunch.

You know, 'cause I don't even know when the car payment

will be due, and it's due on the same day every month.

But, like I say, I keep hearing from psychic people,

or people who depend on psychic people.

Like, a friend of mine refuses to go to California

this month because her psychic told her a, quote,

"major disaster" is about to happen there.

Another friend goes to a psychic so that the psychic will say

stuff like, "You are seeing two men,

and you can't decide which man is right for you."

And she tells me this, and I say,

"So, what good is that information?"

And she says, "It's true! What the psychic said is true!

I am seeing two men, and I can't decide."

And I say, "So what are you gonna do?"

And she says, "I can't decide."

And I say, "So you went in to get information

from a psychic that you already knew before you went in."

She said, "No, you don't understand.

It was independent spiritual verification

of what I was thinking, but I wasn't sure about."

And I say, "And you're still not sure about it!"

And she says "I know, but now I feel it's okay

not to be sure about it."

You know, so maybe I should go see a psychic and say,

"Hey, how many arms and legs do you think I have?

Don't peek!"

And then, if the psychic gets the right answer,

I'll feel better about myself!

I was sitting -- I remember this.

I was sitting next to a famous psychic

at a dinner party 'cause we worked for the same

newspaper syndicate, and she had a popular

horoscope column.

I won't use her name, because I didn't ask to

interview her, so I don't know if I can tell this story.

But I asked her the following question.

"What if you have a client come in, and you get these

psychic brainwaves that say, 'This person is about to die

A horrible grisly death?'"

And the person is sitting there, and he grins and says,

"So, Miss Famous Psychic, what's in my future?"

What do you say?

And she said, "Well, there's always

something positive to say."

And I said, "Okay, well, if the person is already dying

of some rare disease, and they come to you to see

how long they have to live, what do you say?"

You know, "Avoid long term investments?"

I mean, what do you say to a person?

And she says, "Well, we would talk about

the best times to do certain things.

For example, there are better days

than others to have chemotherapy.

So I would have to look at the person's astrological chart."

But I wouldn't give up on this.

I said, "What if all the charts and all the psychic brainwaves

and everything you know said disaster,

this person is gonna suffer and be miserable and then die!"

I mean, it must have happened once

in the history of psychic phenomena."

And she said, "Well, I would never tell

someone they were going to die."

And I said, "Even if it was likely?

You wouldn't even give odds on it?

Because, you know, it's pretty useful information

if they are going to die."

She said, "No, I would not feel comfortable doing that."

So this brings me to my next question.

Why, when you read the horoscopes in the newspaper

or online, why does it never say,

"Virgo, you should stay in bed and tell your lawyer

to file for immediate bankruptcy.

Everybody you meet today will be a vulture

trying to make your life miserable"?

You know, it never says that.

Instead, what does it say?

"Virgo, go slow on relationships,

but don't be afraid to splurge on that special vacation

you've been needing."

And what is this thing about actors and psychics?

How come every actor I know goes to a psychic?

In fact, now that I think of it, my favorite infomercial

of all time, the one back in the '90s about --

remember the Psychic Friends Network?

-Oh, yeah. -Does anybody remember

the Psychic Friends Network?

The last great 900 number network before they all

went to the Internet.

That was almost exclusively soap-opera stars who got

such bad psychic advice that they thought it would

actually help their careers to go on TV at 2:00 a.m.

and tell LaToya Jackson about the time they heard

spiritual voices in the night telling them to buy more shoes

and fire their agent or whatever.

And, finally, why were psychics giving out

their phone numbers on TV in the first place?

Why don't they just dial up the people who wanted to pay them?!

[Laughter]

Anyway, speaking of murderous rampages,

"Maniac Cop" has four, count 'em,

four drive-in superstars in it.

Bruce Campbell, sole survivor of "Evil Dead"

and "Evil Dead II" after he chainsaws

his dead zombie girlfriend.

Laurene Landon, star of "Hundra,"

the Amazon goddess who, in order to preserve her race,

must journey to the Land of the Bull.

Richard Roundtree, Shaft.

William Smith, The Biller,

who has been in approximately 27,000 drive-in movies.

-I'm sorry, what?!

-Oh, I'm sorry. Darcy, I'm sorry.

Five drive-in superstars.

Tom Atkins as the tough police detective.

-You did that on purpose?

-No, I didn't do that.

I know you want to date Tom Atkins.

You know, the whole world knows that.

-I should be so lucky.

-Alright, we'll show his best movie,

and we'll get him on the show. -[Gasps] Really?

-Yeah, "Night of the Creeps." I've been trying to get --

No? -Stop teasing.

-Alright, we'll talk about it later.

So "Maniac Cop" is basically what it sounds like,

the movie that asks the question,

"What would happen if a super-cop got thrown into

Sing Sing for refusing to read people their rights

before breaking their heads open, and everybody hated

him there and so they surrounded him and slashed his face

a hundred times and stabbed him through the brain,

but somehow he was still alive?"

Sure, we've seen it before, but have we seen it with

a Larry Cohen screenplay directed by Bill Lustig?

I think not.

I call this "Jason With a Badge."

We're talking no breasts.

And shame on you, Laurene, for doing that.

15 dead bodies.

Neck snapping.

Teenager through the windshield.

Fresh-cement facial.

Ear-to-ear throat slitting.

Eight-story cop dropping.

Bullet to the forehead.

Aardvarkus Interruptus.

Face-slashing.

One motor vehicle chase, with paddy wagon.

Two crashes. East River dunking.

Flagpole through the gizzards.

Gratuitous bagpipers.

Kung Fu. Chokehold Fu.

Stiletto Fu. Prison shower Fu.

Fire axe fu.

Drive-In Academy Award nominations for Tom Atkins...

-Whoo-hoo! -...as the detective searching

for the maniac cop, for saying something

I often say -- "Look at the size of those hematomas."

Bruce Campbell as the unhappily married cop who gets blamed for

the killings after his wife dies on the night he sneaks out

to aardvark with Laurene, for saying,

"You're the one that dropped out of therapy."

Sheree North as the crippled lady cop who helps

the maniac kill "those that did wrong to you,"

for screaming, "He knows! He knows!

He knows I'm no good to him!"

Laurene Landon as the decoy undercover hooker getting nookie

on the side from Bruce.

Robert Z'Dar as bloody razor-faced Officer Jason.

Larry Cohen, the writer-producer,

who made "It's Alive!"

"There's only one thing wrong with the Davis baby.

It's alive!"

"Perfect Strangers," "Q," "The Stuff,"

"It's Alive Part II," and now does it again

with The Fuzz That Won't Go Away.

And, of course, our old friend Bill Lustig, the director,

who just might be available to talk to us later tonight.

Four stars. Joe Bob says check it out.

-That's it?

-What?

-You're not gonna say who else is available tonight?

-I was gonna make that a surprise.

-People already know that "The Chin"

is gonna be on the show.

Oh, that's right, Robert Z'Dar, "The Chin!

-Not who I was thinking of.

-This is the only movie I know of where two actors

are both nicknamed The Chin.

I wonder if they ever challenged each other to chin-ups.

-I am telling people right now on social media.

-I think they already know.

I think they've known for, like, two weeks

who the guest star is tonight.

-So it's okay to talk about?

-"Taste my steel, you dog!"

He's known for his one-liners.

Name that movie. "Taste my steel, you dog!"

-"The Majestic."

-Damn, you're good.

-Yep.

[Static crackles]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

[Boat horn blares]

♪♪

-Come on, Cassie, another straight after hours.

You've been on your feet whole day!

-No, thanks, Joey. I've got a day job, too, you know?

-You sure I can't give you a lift?

-I'd rather face the muggers.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

[Siren wailing in distance]

[Cat yowls]

[Gasps] Hey!

-Come on. Gimme your money!

-Come on, sweetheart.

-Hey, I worked hard for this. Aah!

♪♪

I worked hard for these! Let go of me!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Officer!

♪♪

Officer! Officer!

♪♪

Officer!

Officer!

Officer!

Oh, thank God it's you.

These two Puerto Rican guys just trying to mug me, and --

[Gasps]

[Choking]

♪♪

[Bones crack]

♪♪

♪♪

[Siren wailing]

[Tires screech]

[Indistinct police radio chatter]

-Yo, man!

It was a knife, man! It was a cop, a big cop!

♪♪

♪♪

[Tool whirring]

♪♪

♪♪

-I hate the smell of these places.

-Good morning.

-So...?

-Well, We have a C-2, C-3 fracture dislocation.

The head was unstable, and there was a deceleration injury,

as in your old hanging. where the head just pops.

That's not what is interesting.

What's interesting is we also have a crushed larynx.

The head's just flopping.

-You're trying to tell me two kids did this?

-I just got a statement from an eyewitness.

They said they saw the kids attack her.

Can't you cover her face?

-Her name's Cassie Philips.

I used to go into her place for a nightcap.

She always had the latest jokes, nice sense of humor.

I always told her she ought to, uh, audition

for one of those comedy joints.

-All the more reason I would think

you'd want to see those little bastards put away.

[Gags]

-Don't pass out on me, Lovejoy.

Take a look at the size of those hematomas.

Now, you think either one of those two kids

could have done that?

-Shit, you really think a cop did this?

-Why not?

She knew me, she knew a lot of cops.

-What's the use? Let's go.

I think I need some fresh air.

-You must've been so afraid, Cassie.

Then you saw a cop.

♪♪

[Woman laughs]

-So we just about closed that club, huh?

-[Laughing]

You're not kidding.

Sam, watch the light!

[Tires screech]

♪♪

-What's the matter with this light?

It's probably broken or something.

-Relax.

What's the hurry?

♪♪

[Knocking on window]

Shit. It's a cop. Ditch that beer.

-Where did he come from? -I don't know. I don't know.

-Alright, what seems to be the trouble, officer?

-Oh, no, I think he wants you to go with him.

-What for? -I don't know.

Look, you just better cooperate, alright?

-I can't stand any more tickets.

My insurance is gonna go up.

♪♪

[Grunting]

-[Screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Buzzer rings]

-Yeah? -Commissioner,

Detective Lieutenant McCrae is here to see you.

-Send him in.

Have a seat, Lieutenant.

Lieutenant, I've been going over your report.

Seems that you automatically assume

that it was a police officer, instead of some...

lunatic son of a bitch dressed up like a cop.

-He didn't kill the girl. He wanted a witness.

-Well, there you are.

Obviously, someone trying to discredit the police force.

I mean, it fits my profile for it not to be a cop.

-All the same, I think we ought to take a look

at our own people.

I'd like to have a police psychologist

do a rundown on cops that have been under mental disturbance,

attempted suicide, under extreme emotional stress.

-Sure. Why don't we just test the whole damn force

while you're at it?

-Otherwise, we're looking for a white man

well over six feet tall, wears a police uniform,

doesn't have an alibi.

I don't know where to start to look, Commissioner.

-Listen, I want you to keep this within the department.

Keep it quiet. -For as long as we can.

He'll kill again. He enjoys killing.

-You know, Lieutenant, you seem to know

a hell of a lot about this guy. Tell me something --

When was the last time you had a mental test?

-Any time, Commissioner.

-As a matter of fact, didn't you try

to shoot yourself a couple of years back?

-The gun went off.

-The gun went off.

Exactly 10 days after your partner

was killed in the line of duty,

your gun just happens to...discharge all by itself.

Now, you haven't been on an even keel ever since.

Even now...

you don't smile very much.

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey. Hey, what are you doing?

This is my car!

Ow! Ow! What the...?

Hey!

♪♪

Shit!

Help! Please help!

Help! Help me!

Help! Please!

Help me!

Help!

♪♪

Help!

Help, please!

♪♪

-[Buzzing] -Please! Help me, please!

-Stop, buddy! Stop it!

-Help me! Help me! Please!

♪♪

Help me, please!

♪♪

Please, help! Please, help!

[Grunting]

♪♪

[Indistinct police radio chatter]

[Jack hammers rattling]

♪♪

-I was surprised when you called.

I didn't think we were gonna see each other again.

-Well, I see you on the news at the end of each night

just before I shut off the lights.

-How romantic.

-Gina, this isn't about romance.

It's about murder.

-Thank you.

-People have to be warned.

Most people, they respect the uniform.

They'll do anything the cop tells them,

including take a walk up a dark alley.

-Who is he killing? Pushers? Hustlers?

-Innocent people.

-Jesus. A maniac cop?

How's that for a tag?

-I knew I could count on you

to sensationalizing it the best way.

You got to do it. Make it bigger than AIDS.

It's the only way to City Hall off their ass.

-Are you're ready to go on the line on this,

be quoted directly?

-I'm ready to hand you an exclusive on this,

but I want you break it on your late news show tonight.

-Okay, I'll need a back up on every detail,

names of the witnesses, specifics from --

-You'll find everything you need right there.

-McCrae, remember -- I owe you one.

-Eh, you don't owe me anything.

-Now a News Channel exclusive.

This reporter was informed by a source

within the New York Police Department

of attempts by the Homicide Division

to suppress facts regarding three recent homicides.

Facts and witnesses to these murders point unmistakably

to a uniformed police officer.

I repeat, a uniformed New York cop

has been seen in the commission of the brutal killings

occurring on the streets in the city after dark.

The questions this station wants answered --

why has Commissioner Pike withheld these facts,

and does the mayor know what's going on in his city?

-[Engine sputtering] -How can the public defend

themselves if they're unaware

that one of New York's finest

may indeed be a psychopath

whose intent is to kill them rather than protect them?

Tomorrow on the morning show, we will have an interview

with Detective Lieutenant Frank McCrae...

-Damn! -...who is in charge

of the investigation and who was ordered

not to speak to the press.

[Click]

♪♪

♪♪

[Engine sputtering]

♪♪

♪♪

-You're not gonna get me!

[Gunshot, glass shatters]

♪♪

-Anybody that wants to shoot a cop nowadays

has got one hell of an excuse.

You believe that?

She thought he was the fucking maniac!

-Look, we've received over 700 letters

accusing individual police officers.

-Look, Councilor, a cop gives you a parking ticket,

so what you do?

Naturally, you write in a letter

accusing him of being a killer, right?

Why does this have to happen now?

I got four weeks before I retire.

-Hey, look, we're all in trouble here, Captain.

Tourism's off by 38%.

This nut must be caught.

He's costing the taxpayers millions every day.

-Ripley, if you can't handle this, why don't you put in

for early retirement and step down, huh?

-No way, Commissioner.

I'm gonna to nail this bastard.

But he's sharp.

He's always one step ahead of me.

If I stake out Tribeca and SoHo,

he strikes in the East Side.

-He may be getting information from inside the department.

-[Chuckles]

-That means he isone of us.

[Static crackles]

-Wow, talk about an all-star lineup.

The first seven names you see in the opening credits

are Larry Cohen, Bill Lustig, Tom Atkins, Bruce Campbell,

Laurene Landon, Richard Roundtree,

and William Smith.

You might as well just say The Drive-In Hall of Fame.

This is one of four times that Larry Cohen and Bill Lustig

worked together, and the way it happened is that they were at

the Los Angeles Film Festival, and they went out for coffee,

and Larry asked Bill casually if he thought he would ever make

a sequel to "Maniac."

And Bill said, "No, probably not."

He just didn't see what could be done with it.

And Larry said, "Well, maybe you should combine

the idea with another genre, like a police procedural,

and the title would be 'Maniac Cop.'"

And I guess Bill Lustig got goose bumps when he said that

because he said from that moment on, he wanted to make the movie.

And then Larry Cohen said, "And the tagline is

'You have the right to remain silent...

forever."

And that did become the tagline.

And both men say the whole concept for this movie

was the result of about a 30-second conversation

over coffee where Larry Cohen came up with

the title and the tagline.

Larry Cohen thought he would never hear more about it,

but a week later, Lustig calls him up, and he says,

"I got the money."

So that was in February of 1987,

and of course the biggest cop event in New York City

is the Saint Patrick's Day Parade, on March 17th,

and both Cohen and Lustig agreed it would be a good idea

to steal some footage from that parade.

But they didn't have a script by March 17th.

I mean, Larry was just beginning to write the script.

So Lustig called up Bruce Campbell, and he said,

"Bruce, I've got a part for you, I don't know exactly

what it is yet, we don't have a script yet,

but can you fly to New York and bring some

costume choices that can easily be matched later

and we'll spend a day shooting you all over

the place around the Saint Paddy's Day parade."

And then we'll figure out what to do with that footage later."

So as you'll see, Sam Raimi decided to go along with him,

'cause he ends up being the parade TV reporter.

Anyway, that was in March.

By August, they were shooting the whole movie.

And if you're a Larry Cohen fan, as we all are around here,

you'll notice that it doesn't have quite the same sensibility

as his usual script, and that's because Bill Lustig directed.

Bill is darker than Larry.

So of Cohen had been directing it, it would have been snappier,

you know, a little bit more satirical.

I mean, it's still got that, but it doesn't always have

that crazy look that a Cohen film has.

Lustig and Cohen are both from the Bronx,

they both love New York, they both love the look

of the city, but only about three days of shooting were

actually in the city.

The rest was all in Los Angeles locations

that doubled for New York.

And believe me, that is not easy to do.

So they spent a lot of time in San Pedro,

down by the docks down there.

And, by the way, the girl who becomes Dead Body Number One,

the Maniac Cop's first victim in the park,

that was Larry Cohen's daughter, Jill Gatsby.

He loved to put Jill in his pictures,

and he loved to kill Jill in his pictures.

All right, back to the movie.

And at the next break,

we're gonna introduce our special guest.

I know you're dying to know who that special guest is.

Bruce was actually on one of my earlier shows,

back in the 18th century.

You know, back when I first started doing this.

All I remember we were shooting the interview at

a swimming pool on a terrace at one of those fancy houses

that hangs off the side of a cliff in the Hollywood Hills.

And we had all these extras, girls in bikinis,

and they were sunbathing in the background,

and the girls were all like, "Is Bruce here yet?

When is Bruce coming?"

And the guy has been a stud all his life.

You know, he could just say, "Hey, yeah, let's go on a date,

just you and six of my other girlfriends from this week."

You know, I mean, he is that popular with the ladies.

Right, Darcy?

-I'd be down.

-Here's one for you.

Who plays the overweight female demon in "Evil Dead II"

who loses her head and flops around on the ground

and says, "I will swallow your soul"?

-Ted Raimi.

-Damn! You know...

-And Bruce goes, "Swallow this!" Boom.

Okay, we don't need additional information.

You know, Ted Raimi was enough showing off, alright?

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Infant fussing]

-I didn't know you were on duty tonight.

-Yeah, well, with all the flu going around,

they had to put a lot of us on overtime.

-Always at night.

It worries me when you work so much at night.

-It worries me, too.

-You don't talk about it much.

-[Sighs]

When I come home, I want to forget.

-It makes me feel left out, Jack.

You used to talk to me.

-Look, you're the one that dropped out of the therapy.

I was willing to go, and I was willing to pay the bills.

-So, it's all my fault now, is it?

-I did everything I could to hold this marriage together.

-You talk like it's already over.

-Yeah, well, it's not enough to talk.

You have to listen, too.

-I suppose that's why you're taking so much overtime,

to get away from me.

Or is it something else?

-What's that supposed to mean?

-Sometimes, you wake up...

screaming like you can't breath.

Sometimes, I get afraid that you might hurt me in your sleep.

-Have I ever hurt you?

-I know it's wrong to be afraid of my own husband, but I --

-Now, why couldn't you say that to the therapist?

Why couldn't you simply say,

"I'm afraid of him, and I don't know why"?

-Don't, Jack, please.

Don't go out tonight. Stay with me.

-Now, how can I? I'm on the duty roster.

I'll make it up to you over the weekend.

We'll, uh, we'll go for ride in the country.

We'll gonna go on up to Tarrytown like --

Hey, don't pull away from me.

-I'm sorry.

I don't know what's happening to me.

I --

I don't like being alone till all hours.

I hear things.

I think I hear things.

-Look, there's enough locks on the doors,

and you've got a gun, and you know how to use it.

-Let me fix that for you.

-Look, um, if I get off early tonight,

I'll try not to wake you.

-You can wake me up.

Maybe I'm just sleeping too much, you know?

They say that could be depressing to a person.

You know, too much sleep.

Be careful now.

-[Chuckles] You say that every night.

[Door closes]

[Telephone ringing]

♪♪

♪♪

-He went out again, didn't he?

-Who is this? Why do you keep calling me?

-Why does Jack keep killing people?

He going to do it again tonight?

-Why do you keep doing this to me?

[Line clicks, dial tone]

♪♪

-Hey, Jack. -Oh, hey, Benny.

How you doing?

♪♪

It's no a big deal.

-Eh, I'll fix it myself.

[Siren wailing in distance]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Gasps]

-[Sighs deeply] Why did follow me?

-I thought...

I was afraid that you were...

-[Sighs]

-God.

I didn't want you to find out this way.

I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how.

-Just don't come near me.

-You have every right to hate us both,

but let me just try an explain.

-I don't want to hear another word!

You just don't say anymore, 'cause I'll kill you both.

-Ellen, don't point that thing.

Just don't point that thing.

-Let her go. Let her go.

♪♪

♪♪

-Oh, Jesus.

[Siren wailing]

-Aah!

♪♪

-You folks checked out yet?

Ugh.

Must have partied it up good in here.

Let's see what other damage you done.

[Screams]

♪♪

Man: ...until further notice effective next Monday.

Item number 9 --

Remember, gang, the Red Cross blood drive is next week.

Let's do our duty.

Item --

-Forrest.

Let's talk.

-Yeah, sure, Captain.

So, have you decided where you're gonna settle down

after you retire?

You, uh, still thinking about Florida?

-It's about your wife.

-She call you to complain about our trouble?

I thought she'd be going to a lawyer or something like that.

-So, the two of you haven't been getting along then?

-Ripley --

-Uh, Captain Ripley.

-Captain, since when is my personal life

any of your business?

-Since your wife was found dead in a motel room.

At a sleazebag Motor Inn on 11th Avenue...

...with her throat slit from ear to ear.

-No. You got to be wrong.

-You want to see the pretty pictures?

-She ran out. I -- I thought she went back home.

-You admit you were there?

-I tried to stop her, but she had a gun.

-Patrolman Forrest, before you say anything else,

I better read you your rights.

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-Yuki? -Yes?

-Okay, uh, rural Oregon is where we're going.

Small town in Oregon.

They told us the name of it, right?

Point it due west and a little to the north.

-Yes, got it. -Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Chin! The one and only Bruce Campbell.

[Cheers and applause]

-How you doing? Good to see you guys.

-Alright, Bruce. It's been way too long.

You come on my show every 25 years.

-Yeah, that's how it works.

I'll see you in about 25 from now.

But thankfully, we'll still be here.

That's what's awesome.

-So, how is Laurene Landon in bed?

That's the first pressing question.

-Uh, athletic. She's very large.

She is kind of a -- she's built.

She was very athletic, is what I would say.

-So, we already told the story about how Lustig called you up

and asked you to fly to New York to just hang around

the Saint Patrick's Day parade to get footage before

they even had a script.

So you must really, really trust Bill Lustig.

-Well, you know, Bill, he was a kindred spirit.

He's like, "Okay, look, before the movie,

I got this great idea.

There's the backdrop of the parade, a million people.

You'll be running down there, chased by a cop.

We zoom in. They'll go, 'Oh, my God!

This budget is epic!'"

And of course, before we even get to film,

you know, they have a shabby guy

dressed in a fake cop outfit next to me.

We're waiting for some guy to give us the signal.

And in case you didn't know, Saint Paddy's Day parade,

there are 30,000 police officers on the street.

And so one guy looks at this actor, they nod at each other,

"Yeah, hey, how you doin'?"

This cop, then he looks at him again.

And he gets this kind of sour look on his face, he's like,

"What kind of outfit is that?"

He comes up to the guy, he goes,

"Hey, hey, where you from?"

And the guy panics.

I turned and walked away into the crowd

because he didn't know who I was.

So I don't what they got shot that day,

but it wasn't this majestic sequence.

But go, Bill. You can't blame him for trying.

-I can't believe he didn't get arrested

for impersonating a cop.

-Oh, man. And look, here's how you know in movies.

A real cop in real life, their costumes,

their uniforms are bursting at the seams because they've

had them for 10 years.

And so they don't fit for that reason.

In movies, they don't fit 'cause they just got handed them

off the back of the costume truck,

and they're always too big.

So extras looking tough with their guns in the background,

they're pants are always falling off.

That's how you know the difference.

-Well, that's great.

So, how well were you known when you did this movie?

Obviously, you had the street cred from the two

"Evil Dead" flicks.

Were you getting a lot of offers?

-No, that was cool about this.

Bill Lustig was the first non-Sam Raimi movie

that I did, 'cause I did, you know,

the first "Evil Dead."

Then we did a film called "Crimewave", "Evil Dead II."

And Bill saw "Evil Dead II", so I got hired from "Evil Dead II."

And I was excited to do this because I thought,

look, I can't work for Sam Raimi, you know,

on every movie.

I'll try.

But it was cool to go somewhere else,

be in a completely different movie.

And look, we knew Bill from "Maniac."

You know, that was a very notorious horror movie.

We knew Bill Lustig.

-Well, this is about as close as you ever get to

playing a conventional leading man role.

Do you agree with that?

-Yeah, this is pretty straight stuff.

We had a couple of dialogue --

Bill didn't hire me for the dialogue, you know?

-What do you mean?

-We had a couple of dialogue scenes that, you know, look,

I try to do always the best that I can with the --

I fight with the army that I have.

But after we did these scenes, Bill came up, and he goes,

"Hey, Bruce, you know, that dialogue,

it was all right, you sounded all right."

Like, he was amazed that it didn't completely suck.

You know, 'cause he just wanted me to kill --

like, go after the Maniac Cop and fight him

and hang on to stuff.

But he was fine with that, but he was kind of surprised

of, like, "Oh, you can talk and all that.

Oh, that's great."

So that was very exciting.

-Okay, now, Bruce, I want you to be honest.

You're not that crazy about this movie, are you?

-[Laughs]

Well, honestly, the first one, I was fine

because it was a great opportunity.

Bill was fine.

You know, he wouldn't let me do stuff that I really wanted.

He wanted to kind of baby me a little bit.

So we got through it.

Part 2, which you'll talk to Bill later.

You can bring it up.

I got divorced, and I was in no frame of mind

to do anything, and so they wanted to talk about part 2.

And I went, "Okay, well, first, get the check book out, guys,

'cause it's a new story now."

And Bill was like, "Wait, what?"

So, obviously, they were like,

"Well, nah, that ain't gonna happen."

And I'm like, "Okay, well, maybe this will happen."

And so basically I got killed.

That's what you'll see in "Maniac Cop 2."

I go, "Bill, give me a big death."

You know, then kill me. I said, "Kill me."

'Cause if we're not gonna be able to get the money

worked out, kill me off.

So he wanted the surprise, so I guess you can spoil it

or whatever with your viewers.

But I die a quick death in "Maniac Cop 2" for

a pretty good reason.

-Well, the good reason being you wanted to die a quick death.

-I either wanted a good pay day or kill me.

It really was just one of those deals.

I know what sequels are. It's a sequel.

You have to make more for a sequel.

It's just -- it's the law of Hollywood.

-Alright, well, appreciate your honesty, man.

Well, the fan base loves the movie,

and they actually love both movies,

and they love you in both movies.

And in fact, they always complain about the fact

that you got killed right away.

-But you know what? It worked out fine.

I told Bill -- I pleaded for a big fight scene

in, like, a hardware store, where it's just axes

and go out like -- go down swinging, you know?

But Bill went for the shock.

He's like, "No, no, no, if we're gonna kill you,

I want people to go, 'What? He's dead already?'"

But that was fun.

My death scene was with James Earl Jones' father

as the newspaper salesman.

-Oh, yeah. We're gonna talk about that.

That is a great scene.

Well, let's go back to the movie,

and then we'll continue our deep dive with Bruce Campbell.

So roll the film.

Did you ever spend quality time

in a fleabag no-tell motel, Bruce?

You kind of looked like you knew what you were doing

in that scene.

-Uh, you know, back in the day, the formative years,

we would go to Los Angeles trying to sell "Evil Dead",

and we get rent-a-jalopies and stay only in motels.

Why would we stay in a hotel? Those are too expensive.

So yeah, I've got some experience.

-[Laughs] Alright, well, you can tell us every detail then

at the next break.

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

-Are you saving your reviews?

-Never saw these before.

-Well, what about this?

Your wife's diary.

She wrote...

"I now believe my husband may be doing these murders."

-Is that why you followed her?

Is that why you shut her up?

-That's not true.

-Have you got an alibi for last Wednesday night

and the preceding Friday, huh?!

-I was home. -Oh, come on, Forrest.

If you were home, your wife would not have suspected you.

-Alright, I was seeing somebody.

-I'll talk to my client now...alone.

-Councilor, we have read him his Mirandas,

and he elected to make a statement.

-That's inadmissible.

-Well, he did admit that he was in that motel room

in the presence of the victim.

-And that's enough. Now you two guys, out of here.

-As you wish, Councilor.

Councilor, we intend to have this suspect

appear in a lineup for the witnesses

first thing tomorrow morning.

Good day, sir.

-These guys are trying to make me the fall guy.

Everybody's screaming for blood, and all of a sudden, I'm it.

-I'm certain you had no control over what happened.

Call it an irresistible impulse.

That's a legal defense.

Better yet, maybe you don't even remember

committing the crimes --

blackouts, momentary lapses of memory.

-What are you talking about? I'm not crazy. I didn't do it.

-You were seeing a therapist on a regular basis.

-Oh, come on. A marriage counselor.

I got a witness, okay? Somebody else who was there.

I don't want to bring her into this

unless there's no other way.

-Pal, you need all the help you can get.

-It's gonna ruin her career.

Let's give it to the end of the week.

If they don't find the real killer by then,

I'll name her.

-Yeah, so, I told my kids,

you see a cop, you cross to the other side of the street.

I see a cop, I'm out of here.

-I seen three of my friends murdered by cops --

shot in the back,

shot when they didn't have a gun or a knife,

claiming the suspect had a shiny object.

You know, cops like killing. That's why they're cops.

Yeah. Who's gonna be next, huh?

-Cops like you to be scared of them.

That what makes them men, real men.

Because without that uniform, what are they?

I'm not scared.

-They respected cops in my day.

Otherwise, they'd hit you in your head with their billy.

They didn't take no guff. No, they were the law.

Nowadays like this, they got to shoot you to get respect.

-Nobody gives no crap to the cops no more

since this crazy cop come along.

You see a cop coming now, you get out of the way!

And there ain't much crime no more.

-Hey, Listen

About 18 years back, I had a case where

this guy made it look like a psychopath was at work.

So, what does he do then?

He goes in, and he kills his wife,

and it looks like it's one of the serial killings.

-Jack's been set up to take the heat off the real psycho.

-[Chuckles]

You gonna tell me you think this creep is that smart?

-He's a cop, maybe even a detective.

-Fuck you.

-Come on, Ripley. Why not?

Every detective keeps his old uniform

hanging in mothballs.

It's the one thing you never get rid of.

-Let me tell you, fella.

If Jack had an alibi...

he would have come across with it by know.

-Jack is protecting someone.

Whoever it is, he doesn't want them to get involved.

And the killer knows who it is.

-And you're a cop.

-Fuckin' eh, I'm a cop. What the fuck are you?

-Fuck you.

[Chains rattling]

-You're in danger. -How?

-The guy wants to lay low for a while

till he starts another killing spree.

He'd like us to relax our guard.

To accomplish that, he hands us a prime suspect.

-Why would he pick me?

-Eh, your size, your description,

your personnel file.

He's getting his information from inside the department.

And, of course, your, uh, sex life.

-I'm telling you nobody knew about that.

-Your girlfriend must have told somebody, Jack.

She's the only one that can give us that connection.

That puts her in danger.

-I'm telling you she can take care herself.

She out-shoots me every time we go to the range.

-She's on the force?

-You know her.

Theresa Mallory.

-Congratulations.

It's a well-kept secret.

-Yeah, well, not well enough according to you.

-Where do I find her?

-She's on duty tonight.

[Car horn honks]

-Mmm.

How you doing, beautiful?

-It all depends.

-Would you like a lift someplace?

-Yeah, I feel pretty much at home right here.

-Could I interest you in something else?

-You want to be a little more specific?

-You wouldn't be a cop, would you?

-[Laughs] You got it, mister.

You asked the jackpot question.

Now, why don't you run along home to your wife and kids

like a good little boy?

-Yeah, that's just what I was gonna do.

But I'll be thinking of you, baby.

-Can't arrest you for that.

-Ciao, baby.

♪♪

-Who is it?

That you, Malone?

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey, McCrae.

-Hey, uh, look -- Don't get the wrong idea.

I'm on duty here.

Officer Mallory, 33rd Precinct. Vice Squad.

♪♪

[Gasps]

♪♪

[Gunshot]

♪♪

♪♪

-Ugh!

[Gun clicking]

♪♪

-It couldn't have just been a bulletproof vest.

I hit him in the head at least twice.

-Just bring me a tab, will you?

-Okay. -Thanks.

-Look at the marks on your throat.

-I'm telling you, Frank. His hands were so big.

And they felt like ice, even through his gloves.

He wasn't breathing.

-Yeah. Well, we won't put that in our report, huh?

-Why did you come looking for me?

-Well, you were Jack's only witness.

You had to disappear.

He, uh -- He speak to you, say anything?

-No. No, not a sound.

-Last call. You want anything else?

-Uh, yeah. Yeah, one more round -- doubles.

-You're trying to get me drunk.

-No. No. No, I'm just gonna stash you away some place

for few days for safekeeping.

-Why can't I go home?

-Oh, come on. If he knew where you were assigned to work,

he sure as hell knows where you live.

-Well, how could he?

-You must have told somebody at work...

about your relationship.

Come on. Come on. Jack was deliberately set up.

Somebody phoned his wife to follow him.

Now, who did you tell?

-I guess you know Sally Noland.

-Should I? -Well, sure.

She's been on the force for 20 years.

She's like a den mother to all of us.

You know, she wears that leg brace.

-Oh, yeah. Yeah. She uses a cane.

Sure. -Yeah, that's her.

Her father's a cop.

-I know. She's a fixture down at headquarters.

She's been there so long, you hardly notice her anymore.

-[Key jingles] -What's this?

-The key to my apartment, 4E.

I want you to lock yourself in there.

I'll call before I come back so you know it's me.

I'll ring twice, hang up, ring once again.

Don't answer the phone for anybody else.

-Wait. I thought you were going to keep me company.

-I'll phone for a cab. I don't want you out in the streets.

I'll stop down at headquarters.

I have a feeling Miss Noland will be haunting the joint.

[Indistinct chatter]

-McCrae, what'd you do to your hand?

-I cut myself shaving.

-[Scoffs]

-Sign me in, will you?

-Yeah, sure.

[Shuffling]

-You came at a very bad time. The computer is down.

-[Chuckles] How did we ever police this town

without a computer, huh?

-If you're requesting information,

you'll have to out this form,

and I'll process it in the morning.

-You, uh, uh -- You have a pen?

Thanks.

I'm gonna have a hard time writing this.

I got 11 stitches tonight.

You know, we really should know each other.

We've probably been passing each other in the halls for years.

We do have one friend in common.

-Who is that?

-Officer Mallory.

-Theresa.

-She had a close call this evening.

-Why? What happened?

-She was working undercover vice.

Ran into a psycho. It's a mess.

-How is she?

-She's okay.

-[Sighs, chuckles] Thank Jesus for that.

She is a fine girl, that one.

-I knew you'd be relieved to hear she was okay.

-Yeah, we should, uh --

We should all have us a beer together sometime,

get to know each other.

-Sure.

We'll all be inseparable.

-How's that form?

-I'll tell you the truth -- It's not very important.

Eh, forget it.

Better get that computer fixed.

I'm glad we finally got say hello.

♪♪

[Door closes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Engine starts]

♪♪

♪♪

[Engine starts]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Talking indistinctly]

-You've got to stop doing all these crazy things.

You got to remember to stick to your plan.

Don't do this, please.

Yes, I know it would be safe

if you put the girl away, but this way is even better.

Now they think they got the guilty man,

so that way, they're gonna let their guard down,

and you'll be free to get to the mayor and the commissioner

and put an end to this.

I knew you had anger in you, Matt, but --

but I thought it would be the dealers and the junkies

and all the human garbage

that you'd be cleaning the city of,

not all them poor people just minding their business.

What's got into you, Matt? What's changed your so?

I said that I'd stick by you, and I will.

But you got to stop this killing.

Just...only save it for those that did wrong to you.

♪♪

[Clattering]

Who's out there?!

Answer me!

♪♪

[Gunshots]

[Clattering, cat yowls]

Ohh, I guess I was just jumpy.

Matt?

Matt, where are ya?

I need you, Matt. You need me.

Come back.

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey, you! What are you doing?!

Whoa. Take it easy. What you are doing?

-I had to take a leak.

-You always take a leak with a gun in your hand?

It's a good way to blow your balls off!

Oh.

-You scared me, wearing a uniform.

-Yeah, nowadays, everybody's packing a gun.

I don't blame you.

I should get hazard pay with this uniform.

-Yeah.

-You could've got yourself killed back there.

Those timbers are ready to break.

This place is going to be demolished in a couple of weeks.

-Yeah, the whole city's going to hell.

You can't take a pee anywhere anymore.

[Static crackles]

-You know, when Tom Atkins and William Smith are sitting

in the bar discussing the case and you see that series

of man-on-the-street interviews on the TV about how everybody

is afraid of the cops, you kind of realize how little

things have changed from 1988 to today, right?

A whole city afraid of the cops, the idea that there are

psychopath cops on the force, the idea that cops are

trigger happy, the idea that cops are using the gun

to enforce their manhoods.

Larry Cohen was always ahead of his time.

The woman in the leg brace who turns out to be the key

to finding the Maniac Cop, that's the late Sheree North.

Well known in Hollywood and the New York stage

from the '40s on.

She was a chorus girl, she was a dancer

in a lot of musicals like "Can Can," "Irma la Douce,"

"Bye Bye Birdie."

It's ironic that they hired her to play a character with

a physical deformity since she at one time was considered

the woman with the best legs in show business.

And she had two Emmy nominations later in life for guest roles on

"Marcus Welby M. D." and "Archie Bunker's Place."

Probably best known as Lou Grant's girlfriend on

"The Mary Tyler Moore Show."

Oh, and Kramer's mom on "Seinfeld."

Anyway, we're talking to Bruce Campbell, who's known for

his acting on "Evil Dead,"

"The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.,"

"Lois and Clark," "Xena: Warrior Princess,"

"Escape from LA," the Spider-man movies,

"Bubba Ho-Tep," a seven-year run

on "Burn Notice."

And, Bruce, you're also a producer.

You're one of the most successful actor-producers

in the business, and that's a hyphenate title

that not many people have.

How did that happen?

I know you raised the money for "Evil Dead."

Is that right?

-Yeah, well, the truth of it is, in order to secure it myself,

my first job, I became the producer

and put myself in the movie because I didn't want to

go through this horrible process of auditioning for this movie.

So I conned my dad into investing the first

investment in the movie, so I had a good leg up.

And then me and Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert

raised the rest.

And I didn't have to audition for the movie.

And I got really used to that.

-'Cause you really don't like to audition, I guess.

-I've only gotten about three jobs in my entire life

by auditioning because it's an uncomfortable process

that I feel is very torturous.

And I tell any actor, you want to do what you need to do?

Become a producer.

A writer? Oh, you're a writer?

Become a producer. You know?

Oh, you're a director? You should produce, too.

Because, you know, honestly, it's a way to control, too.

If you have a performance that maybe needs to be

helped a little bit or babied, you're in the room

going, "Hey, I think we need to help that guy."

You know, so there's a few ways

that it can be to your advantage, as well.

-What was the final budget for the original "Evil Dead"?

-Under $400,000. Shy of $400,000.

Inflation dollars, I don't know, like, $1.5 million.

-Well, famously, you guys pulled off a ton with what you had.

-The movie was stuck at 16 millimeter.

We got it as far as 16 millimeter.

And we couldn't get it to 35.

And we're like, "We're not getting this theaters

unless it's in 35 millimeter."

Even drive ins.

So, I caught my dad after he'd gotten divorced

from my mother.

He was on the back porch of my deck

in suburban Detroit.

And I go, "Dad, we got some property

in the middle of Michigan.

What are you gonna do with that?"

He goes, "What do you care? What are you talking about?"

I go, "Dad, can we use that to get a loan

to blow up the movie to 35 so we can maybe

we can start selling it?"

He goes, "Uh, yeah. Okay, yeah, whatever.

I don't care."

He didn't care. He was so despondent. He didn't care.

So we had to go to the middle of Michigan,

to the Mid-Michigan bank.

And this is a guy in a serious suit.

You know, he gives loans to farmers.

They don't make horror movies.

And we're like, "Okay."

We're trying to explain to this guy.

"Okay, it's a lab process, see?

We've got the 16mm, and you blow it up to 35!"

And then, the guy had to stop us.

He goes, "Guys, look, blow up whatever you want.

If you don't return the money

in the right amount of time or pay us $444 a month,

we're taking that property.

Do you understand?"

So, we're like, "Habahaba-dabba-dibba-sure!"

So, we did stuff like that,

but when you're 21 and your father doesn't --

when he's numb, that's the time to do it, man.

[Laughter]

-All right. Whatever works, right?

And then, you've been a money-finder or a fundraiser

for other projects, too.

-When I'm forced to.

It is the hardest thing of all -- is getting actual money.

There's a lot of people out there who talk a good game.

So, man, in Detroit, we met lots of hucksters.

And it's not just Los Angeles

where some businesspeople are full of crap.

I mean, it's a nationwide thing.

-Well, this is the number one question

I get asked by indie filmmakers.

They say, "How do you find the money?"

So, Bruce, tell them, they're listening --

how do you find the money?

-We went to a regular lawyer in 1979 --

a guy named Phill Gillis.

Rob Tapert, by the way, was always in trouble as a kid,

so he had a family lawyer, which was this guy.

And so, he went to Phil any time he was in trouble.

So, he goes, "I have a lawyer.

We'll go to Phil.

So, we went to Phil, and he goes,

"You need to draw up a Limited Partnership Agreement.

You need to be able to present that to a businessman

and speak the language that they speak.

You're not gonna talk all film-makey.

You're gonna to talk about risk factors, tax aspects.

I mean, crap that -- I put it by my bed.

Any time I had trouble sleepin',

I would just read a couple pages of it, and I'm out.

It's the worst horrible legal language.

But that's how we could be real

if we met with doctors and lawyers and businessmen.

We could say...

[Nasal voice] "Here's our movie."

[Laughter]

-So, you went to these meetings prepared,

is the lesson for the indie filmmaker.

-So, it gave us a structure,

and there's a lot of -- kind of opinion

that the first "Evil Dead" is sort of a college production.

It looks like it, but it isn't, because we actually had

a structure in place for, when the movie comes in,

who gets paid first and how much we each have.

So, my poor, despondent father

finally made about 20 times his money, so he got over it.

-[Laughs] All right.

The other interesting thing you did is, you have your own

film festival -- the Bruce Campbell Horror Film Festival

in Rosemont, Illinois, which is suburban Chicago.

What's that all about?

-I did that for about three years, but the thing

I realized in my life is that the more things I do

that are farther from what I do, the crappier I am at it.

Administrative stuff and running festivals.

I'm better at just being a cheeseball actor/producer

with a little writing on the side.

-Okay. Well, it sounded fun, anyway.

This is the boring part of the movie

where Tom Atkins has all the scenes,

but you're coming back in a major way,

so let's get back to the flick.

Now, when you meet fans, do they expect you

to be a snappy-patter wisecracker?

You know, 'cause you're known for your one-liners, right?

-It's weird -- my relatives are even weird sometimes.

'Cause I was hosting a gameshow recently -- "Last Fan Standing."

We were touring around.

I got this place right near my brother's house

in Ann Arbor, Michigan,

at this great venue, you know, to do this show.

And I go, "Mike! Mike!

I got you free tickets! Come on to the show!"

And they go, "No, we don't like the persona."

[Laughter]-Your own family?

-I was like, "What?!

I'm giving you free tickets!"

You know, "To the best seat in the house, you know?"

And so, they -- they had trouble of distinguishing between

Bruce "the brother" Bruce

versus the guy that they would see onstage who trash talks

a little more than I normally do, you know?

So, I don't know. I can't win.

-Bruce, will you do the look?

You did this for me years ago.

Can we do the look so the girls will squeal

and the guys will go "awesome"?

You know? You know the look!

You what I'm talking about.

-Honestly, I've never --

You know, my wife loves it when I go to tour because I --

I so don't get hit on because I play idiots.

And so, any look I would give you here

would be very ineffective, because most women are like,

"Oh, yeah. Nice try."

'Cause I was never, like, a real soap opera actor.

Like, that sort of stuff.

I always wound up in stuff that was a little weirder.

So, you know, ladies --

I mean, I might be available, ladies,

but no one's gonna hit on me.

It's -- It's fine. I'm over it.

[Laughter]-Okay, I don't quite believe you.

[Laughter]

♪♪

-Here you are -- more about Cordell

than you got time to read.

-He was my hero.

-Yeah, Matt believed in the old saying,

"Shoot first and ask questions later."

He was kind, though.

Gentle enough if you got to know him.

-Did you?

-Well, I hate to admit it,

but he used to like to come in here

and look at his clippings, just like you're doing.

He kinda liked being a celebrity.

-It's a real shame about what happened to him.

-It was a crime what those politicians did to him.

-Putting him in Sing Sing with with all those criminals

he'd been chasin' all those years.

It was like handin' him a death sentence.

-Well, they say he violated people's rights.

Um, I guess even killers got rights, huh?

-They murdered him --

those bastards down at City Hall.

-He had no kids, no wife.

I guess a hundred-percent cop like him,

he had no time for a personal life, huh?

Here, Clance. Thanks. You can put these away.

[Distant phone ringing]

-You're wrong about that.

He had himself a real nice girl.

I think he would've got married

if it hadn't been for all that trouble.

-You know who she was? -Sure.

He brought her in here one time to show off for her.

She wasn't, uh, much to look at, uh, but nice.

And, of course, a cop.

-[Chuckles] She must have taken it pretty hard, huh?

-Worse than that.

Right after he was convicted,

the poor soul threw herself out a window

trying to kill herself. -Phew.

-Terrible thing for a Catholic girl to do.

She crippled herself.

-Thanks, Clancy.

-Yeah, they don't make cops like him anymore.

He was one of a kind.

He still is.

-What was that?

-Nothing. Forget it.

[Foghorn honks]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Gavel pounding]

♪♪

[Distant foghorn honking]

♪♪

[Gate clatters, clanks]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Slow-motion grunting]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-We'll be interrogating the suspect for about half an hour.

-Okay, call me when you're through.

[Door shuts]

-We know who the killer is.

-Did you tell the D.A.?

-Well, we tried to, but he wouldn't believe us.

You won't either.

-You ever hear of a Detective Matt Cordell?

-Yeah, he was before my time, but, you know, he was a legend.

Really trigger-happy, right? He died in jail.

-Yeah, suppose he didn't. Suppose he's back.

Only now, he kills innocent people.

-Yeah, but how could he get out of prison alive?

-We're gonna find out.

Tomorrow morning, I've got an appointment

with the Chief Medical Examiner

up at Sing Sing -- Doctor Gruber.

You know, why don't, uh --

why don't you continue this questioning for a while alone?

Rough him up a little bit.

[Chair scrapes]-Thanks.

[Buzzer buzzes]

-Officer Mallory will continue

the interrogation till I get back.

-Right.

[Door closes]

[Distant car horns honking]

-Augh!

[Body thuds]

-He knows! -Augh!

-He knows!

There's no stopping him if he knows!

He knows! -Ough!

-He knows you're here!

He knows that I'm no good to him anymore!

He knows! He knows! He knows!

He knows I'm no good to him!

[Sobbing]

He knows I'm no good to him!

[Sobbing]

[Straining, sobbing]

-[Groans]

-He knows!

[Straining] He knows!

He...know...

He know-- Oough...

[Gasps, screaming]

♪♪

[Muffled screaming continues]

♪♪

Oh, no! No!

No![Buzzer buzzes]

He's here!

[Screaming]

He's here! He's here!

He's here!

-Stop it! Lean on me.

Come on. Walk this way. -He -- He's here!

-Come on. S-- -I'm not afraid to die,

but to have him kill me when I love him so much!

♪♪

[Screaming]

[Screaming fades, stops]

[Buzzer buzzing]

-Why doesn't anybody answer?

-No! No!

-Put her down, Cordell!

-[Screaming, grunting] -God damn it, put her down!

♪♪

You son of a bitch!

-[Screams, groans]

♪♪

♪♪

-No, no, no, stay there.

♪♪

Hey, what's the matter with you?

Didn't you hear the buzzer?

What, are you deaf?

[Screaming][Body thuds]

♪♪

Oh, Curtis! God!

-I've got to get you out of this building.

Come on. -What about you?!

If they see you with that gun, you're gonna get shot!

-Don't worry about me! -[Screaming]

♪♪

-[Gags]

♪♪

♪♪

-We gotta find McCrae.

How'd you get here? -With McCrae.

His car is still outside. -Okay, here's the deal.

Get in it and wait.

If we're not out in five minutes,

hotwire it and haul ass out of here.

You got it? -You got it.

-Okay, go! -Okay.

♪♪

♪♪

[Glass shatters]

-[Hollering]

♪♪

-[Screaming]

[Screaming fades]

[Distant car horns honking]

-[Sighs]

Augh!

-Keep your hands where I can see them.

Back up against the wall. -Hey, hold on.

I d-- I didn't do any of this.

-You broke out of your cell and you killed 'em all.

-It wasn't me. It was somebody else.

-Shut up! -He's still here.

You're letting him get away!

-Nobody's gettin' away. I'm calling for backups.

[Screams]

Ugh!

-Don't even try. -Okay! Okay!

-Listen. [Panting]

I didn't do any of this. -Sure, you didn't.

-Put your guns over there.

All right, on your face -- both of ya.

-Hey, man, we going after him?

-You heard him. He didn't do it.

-Theresa. Come on, let's go.

♪♪

-Seems a little early for Tom Atkins to die,

don't you think, Darcy?

-Yes! Oh, my God.

-I mean, he's the top-billed actor in the movie.

He's the star, and so there's a plot necessity

right at this point in the film.

Bruce Campbell must escape from jail.

Otherwise, we have no protagonist.

Don't you think, though, Darcy, that if Tom has to be replaced,

Bruce is not a bad choice?

-He is a good back-up. -All right.

[Laughs] I know you love Tom.

Tom Atkins is a Pittsburgh guy,

like so many people in the horror world.

He was born there in 1935, which means he's 85

and still going strong.

He's got projects he's working on even as we speak.

Tom's film "day-butt" was in 1968 in the Frank Sinatra movie

"The Detective."

And, um, go ahead, Darcy.

You're the expert on Tom Atkins.

What else did Tom Atkins do?

-Uh, "Halloween 3," "The Fog,"

"Escape from New York," "Creepshow."

-All right. Well, one role people don't really

talk so much about when Tom's career is discussed

is that he was Lieutenant Alex Diehl

on "The Rockford Files." -Mm-hmm.

-You know, the commander who's always trying

to throw James Garner in jail?

You know, he was a foil to Joe Santos

as Sergeant Dennis Becker, who was always helping Rockford

even when he didn't want to.

So, the way those plots went was, "Dennis, help me out."

You know, "No, Jim, not again.

You ask for too much."

"Come on, Dennis, have a heart!"

You know, "Do you know what will happen to both of us

if Diehlfinds out?"

And Tom Atkins was Diehl, the hardass.

Anyway, I wanted to tell one story

before we say goodbye to Tom.

Tom Atkins also had a long, distinguished stage career

both in New York -- where he won the Drama Desk Award --

and in Pittsburgh, where he frequently appeared at the

Pittsburgh Public Theater.

And his most famous role at his hometown theater

was in a one-man show called "The Chief,"

in which he played the legendary owner

of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Art Rooney.

So, every year, they have what's called

the Dapper Dan Dinner in Pittsburgh

to raise money for charity, and it's something

the "Pittsburgh Post-Gazette" started a hundred years ago,

and Tom was invited the year he was doing his one-man show.

And everybody is in tuxedoes at those things,

so you don't always recognize people immediately.

And he ends up striking up a conversation

with the father of Jamie Dixon,

who is the famous basketball coach

at University of Pittsburgh.

Well, then, he was at the University of Pittsburgh.

Now he coaches the Horned Frogs --

the TCU Horned Frogs.

And as they're talking, Jamie Dixon's father

is looking at Atkins kinda weird, and he's saying,

"We've met before, right?"

And Tom is saying "No, I don't think so."

And then, later, the guy bolts across the room,

and he says, "I know where we met before!

We worked together on 'Maniac Cop'!"

And it turns out that the father of Jamie Dixon,

the basketball coach, is Jim Dixon, who plays Clancy,

the cop in the records room who keeps saying,

"You know, real shame about what happened to that Matt Cordell.

He was my hero.

Crime, what those politicians did to him --

puttin' him in Sing Sing with all those criminals

he'd been chasing."

So, that guy!

And it turns out that Jim Dixon

was in the Larry Cohen stock company.

He was also in "Black Caesar," "Hell Up in Harlem,"

"Q the Winged Serpent," "It's Alive," "God Told Me To,"

"The Stuff," "The Ambulance."

I think I counted 11 Larry Cohen movies

on Jim Dixon's credit list.

So, Jim Dixon was Larry Cohen's go-to New York Irishman.

Usually, when Tom Atkins gets noticed, though,

it's because somebody thinks he's a cop.

Usually, a real cop thinking

it's a cop he must have worked with in the past,

because Tom Atkins has played 67 million cops.

Okay, Bruce!

Now that we have introduced brutalized zombie cop

Matt Cordell, played by Robert Z'dar --

nicknamed "The Chin" --

This is the only movie, as far as I know,

in which the two main actors are both nicknamed "The Chin."

Did you compare chins?

Did you pose for any chin selfies?

Did you do chin-ups together as a promotion?

-Robert Z'dar's got me hands down, though.

I couldn't even in my heyday --

my chinfull heyday -- which was pretty good in 1987.

But there's something with Robert Z'dar.

There were many theories of why he was how he was --

some of them scandalous, some of them shocking.

But I think he always kind of looked --

He looked like he had a prosthetic on already.

But, you know what's funny?

As is the case with most bad guys in movies,

they're actually really sweet and funny,

and it's the guys who play the good guys

who are the jerks in real life.

It's kind of funny --

I've run into Z'dar at conventions all the time.

He had a very good time.

He had no change coming back. -All right.

Well, Robert Z'dar was a controversial casting decision

at the time, because Larry Cohen wanted the Maniac Cop

to be very athletic and agile,

and he thought Robert was too hulking and slow.

So he wanted to hire an honest-to-God stuntman,

but Bill Lustig thought Z'dar just looked scary.

He'd seen him as the killer in a movie called "Night Stalker."

But you're about to get really physical with him.

You were 29 at the time.

Robert was 37, but he outweighed you

by about 150 pounds.

Do you think you could have

taken Robert Z'dar in a fair fight?

-Oh, no, Bob was a big dude.

Yeah, he was pretty jacked.

Uh, no, not a chance.

I was a wiry bastard in 1987, so maybe I could have outrun him.

I don't know, but it was funny -- Bill was funny.

I wanted to do more stuff and have him rough me around,

and I wanted to hang off that police wagon more.

And Bill was -- he was kind of nervous about that.

So, I had a stunt guy who --

I had just come off of "Evil Dead 2."

I used a stunt guy in "Evil Dead 2"

to fall down the stairs, 'cause you can break your neck.

But normally, it was kind of me gettin' banged up.

And I go, "Bill, let's do the fight."

And he's like, "Oh, no, no, no.

We'll get the stunt guy to do that."

I go, "I'm right here."

See, he wouldn't let me do stuff, but it was weird

to sit and watch the stunt guy for like the first time going,

"Oh, I could have done that, Bill, but that's all right."

You know, so, it was fine.

He was better safe than sorry.

-Well, I ask you this as an expert and an icon.

Do you mind being called an icon, by the way?

-Oh, as long as it's not me saying it, it's fine.

-[Laughs] Okay.

Well, I ask you this as an expert --

what's the deal with '80s nostalgia?

People always say the '80s were better

for exploitation films, genre films --

whatever they're calling 'em today.

-Man, I don't know.

I -- No, I don't think so.

I think the '70s had as good of movies as anything.

'70s had tons of good movies.

'80s? Uh, you'd have to sort of name 'em for me,

'cause I don't even --

I don't know where the nostalgia is.

-Well, I would actually agree with you.

I'm all about the '70s, really.

But, um, there's definitely a lot of '80s worship goin' on.

Anyhow, I would say "Maniac Cop"

is a worthy part of the '80s pantheon,

so let's get back to it.

♪♪

Actually there's a third "Chin."

Um...

Uh, Vincent "The Chin" Gigante.

You know, he used to walk around

the neighborhood I was living in.

He was wearing his pajamas all the time and talking to himself

so the FBI that had him under surveillance

would think he was crazy.

'Cause if he was crazy,

he couldn't possibly be the head of the Genovese crime family.

So, [Laughs he wasn't in very good shape,

but I think, of the three Chins, he was probably the one

you don't wanna fight with, if you know what I mean --

and I think you do.

[Laughter]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-I'm keeping McCrae's appointment at Sing Sing.

-Sure, walk into a prison with half the police force

out looking for you.

You're a brave man.

-No, no -- not brave. Scared shitless.

Unless we can prove that Cordell is still alive,

it's gonna be my ass.

♪♪

♪♪

[Door clangs]

♪♪

-Step over there, please.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Gates clanging]

-Line up on the line!

-To your left.

[Phone rings]

-Yes, can I help you?

-Yeah, we've got an 8:00 A.M. meeting

with your Doctor Grubber.

We're a little early. -You got a name?

-McCrae -- Detective Frank McCrae.

-Uh-huh.

Okay, the doctor's office is around back t-to your left.

-All right, thank you. -You're welcome.

-You knew Matt Cordell?

-Aren't many like that.

I did the autopsy on him.

-Now, look -- the authorities knew that something like that

could happen to him.

Why didn't they prevent it?

-Why, he wouldn't allow it.

I mean, he refused to be in isolation.

I guess he... [Chuckles]

didn't want to admit that he was afraid.

-What do you do in a case like that?

-What do you mean?

-Well, when they're all cut up like that?

-[Sighs] This is no ordinary mortician's home.

I mean, we're not into cosmetic approaches here.

When a prisoner dies, it's not our job

to make him look good again for his family.

We stitch up the parts

and put them into a wooden box, and we bury him.

-Is that what happened to Matt Cordell?

-I don't know, I'd have to look in my records.

-Would you mind?

-Hmm.

Mostly, they just go to Potter's Field.

[Drawer slides]

Oh.

Yes.

Cordell's records.

His body was claimed by a woman.

-May I see that? -Sure.

We both know Miss Noland.

-I think before this goes any further,

I'd like to see some identification,

Detective McCrae.

Something with a photograph on it.

-Detective Lieutenant McCrae died early this morning.

He was murdered.

He was murdered by the same man

that killed more than half a dozen people

at police headquarters last night.

-I haven't gotten to my morning paper yet.

No wonder you know all the lurid details.

If I would've murdered a bunch of officers,

the last place I'd come is to a penitentiary.

-Don't bullshit us.

You know who did those killings.

-How could I know?

-Cordell wasn't dead.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Dull, sluggish heartbeat]

♪♪

[Dull, sluggish heartbeat]

♪♪

♪♪

[Dull, sluggish heartbeat]

♪♪

[Dull, sluggish heartbeat]

♪♪

[Heart beats in time with thrusts]

♪♪

-And then you saved him.

Answer me!

-[Sighs] Look, he was a fine detective.

He had a lot of friends.

Everyone knew if we put him back in the prison community,

they'd just attack him again.

There was no way he could survive.

So, when they brought him up here, more dead than alive,

a policewoman convinced me to do the decent thing.

-Like remove him from the prison mortuary alive?

-He wasn't exactly alive.

He had severe brain damage.

I was certain that he was legally dead.

I was telling the truth when I signed that death certificate.

There's no way he could function as a human being again!

-Read the newspapers, Doc.

-Get out of my office.

Now.

You never came here.

I'm not gonna pick up that phone.

This never happened.

-There's no end to your decency, is there, Doctor?

-What did I do wrong?

You should have seen him on the operating table.

Cut to pieces.

I know the system screwed him.

The politicians put him in prison

and the inmates did the rest,

and now you're trying to ruin my life and my career.

-We're not trying to ruin anybody.

We just want to bury Matt Cordell once and for all.

-[Sighs]

Get out of here.

Go away.

[Phone ringing]

-Here you are, Doctor. Put this on.

-What are you talking about?

-You know it's St. Patrick's Day?

The parade.

The Mayor and Police Commissioner will be there.

-Yeah, along with 5,000 cops.

You know, I'll bet Cordell used to love walking in that parade

every year he was on the force.

-Yeah, well, whatever he loved, he hates now.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Festive bagpipe music plays]

♪♪

♪♪

[Cheering]

♪♪

-And so, this year's St Patrick's Day parade

continues on schedule despite speculation

that the parade may have been cancelled

due to fear of violence.

Authorities report scores of death threats

against the police,

plus threats of bombings along the parade route.

But this has not deterred a record crowd for turning out

for New York's 50th annual St. Patrick's Day parade.

And what a parade it is.

Public outrage over the continued killings

by the so-called "Maniac Cop"

have brought many hostile New Yorkers

to New York's 5th Avenue today.

Police security forces and the special bomb squads

are out in full force as well as plainclothes detectives

who are mixed in with the crowd.

♪♪

-I can't walk in there.

They're gonna shoot me on sight. -I'll do it.

-all right, but you gonna get to the Commissioner.

-Oh, I'm supposed to convince him these killings

are being committed by a dead man.

-Commissioner Pike was Chief of Police

when Cordell was sent to jail.

He's probably the one that Cordell blames

more than anybody else.

-Where you gonna be?

-I'm gonna be right here. -Okay.

[Distant cheering continues]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Laughing] So, he says, "Commissioner, sir,

that is my wife."

[Laughter][Door opens]

[Muffled parade music continues]

♪♪

-Look who just walked in.

Jack Forrest's girlfriend.

♪♪

-All right, everybody outta here.

♪♪

[Door shuts]

-All right, so, where is the son of a bitch?

-He's willing to give himself up --

after youlisten.

-Oh, so, you're giving orders now?

-I know who committed these murders.

-So do we, sweetheart. It's your boyfriend.

-You're wrong. It's a man named Matt Cordell.

♪♪

-[Scoffs] A ghost.

-Did you come up with this lunatic idea by yourself,

or are you on drugs?

-It was McCrae's theory, but we verified it.

-[Chuckles] Listen, sweetheart --

Last night, before McCrae was murdered,

he called my house, and I wasn't there.

I was at a charity event, but he was kind enough

to leave a message on my service.

Would you like to give a listen?

[Beep] -This is Frank McCrae.

I've got solid evidence this homicidal maniac

is getting information from inside the Department.

His accomplice is a female employee, a policewoman.

I'll be at the Crime Records Division waiting.

Call me when you get in. [Beep]

-Of course, he couldn't have been talking about you --

A policewoman.

A killer's accomplice.

-He's talking about Sally Noland.

-Oh, that's really great.

You accuse a dead woman when the fact is...

-[Sighs] -The log states that you came to see

Jack Forrest last night on alleged police business

and that you aided in his escape from the cell block...

and that you helped him kill all those people.

-That's a lie.

[Buzzer buzzes]

-Why are you doing this?

You know I'm telling you the truth about Cordell.

-Enough of this shit.

I've got a parade to attend.

-That's right, and you'd better go, sir.

You know, everyone else has left for the reviewing stand.

-No, wait. You may be in danger if you go down there.

Don't you understand?!

Cordell wants to kill you and the Mayor!

-Is that's what Forrest told you to say?

-If you have any sense at all, you won't go down there.

-Book her!

Accessory to first-degree murder.

-Next year, Commissioner, avoid the reporters.

[Muffled cheers and applause]

[Handcuffs clattering]

[Door closes]-Sit down.

-What? -Right here.

[Muffled parade music continues]

♪♪

-I don't understand.

I thought you were gonna book me.

-Well, uh, what's the rush?

I mean, we've got the Commissioner's office

all to ourselves.

-We got a place in Newberg -- you know, me and the old lady.

-[Sighs] -We're gonna go up there and camp --

-I'm happy for you. -Uh, Commissioner, the tie?

-Never mind the tie. Come on. Come on.

-[Chuckles] Hurry up and wait, eh?

-Eh, it'll be here.

♪♪

-Ugh! -Ugh!

-[Gasps hoarsely] Cordell!

[Blade slicing]

♪♪

[Bodies thud]

♪♪

♪♪

-Why don't you put a real feather in my cap

and lay it all out for me?

The reason behind those killings --

it was extortion money, wasn't it?

-Money had nothing to do with those killings.

It was an act of vengeance against the city.

-You know, the truth is, darlin',

I could use a collar like this one.

Come on, win me the big promotion.

Make me a hero.

-If you gonna put me under arrest,

I wanna see my lawyer.

-You know, you got a real rotten-ass attitude.

Fine, let's go. I'll take you downstairs.

[Handcuffs clicking]

[Muffled parade music continues]

♪♪

[Door opens, shuts]

Don't give me any trouble, huh?

This is great. I don't believe this.

Everybody else has gone to parade,

and I'm stuck here with you.

This is fantastic.

You with your great attitude. Really makes things nice.

You know what, I'll tell you something else.

Gagh!

-[Screaming]

♪♪

[Frantic grunting]

♪♪

♪♪

[Whimpering, grunting]

♪♪

[Frantic grunting]

♪♪

[Wood creaking][Knocking on door]

♪♪

Ah! [Wailing frantically]

♪♪

Ah!

♪♪

[Wailing frantically]

♪♪

Rreeaugh!

♪♪

[Distant cheering]

♪♪

[Wailing]

♪♪

[Grunting frantically]

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey, isn't that Forrest?

♪♪

Let's get him!

♪♪

-Hold right there! -Hey. Hey.

Wait. No, no, no! -Get him!

-All right, hold him. -No!

-Damn it, let go of me! -Come on, let's go.

-Get him moving. -Can't you see what the hell's going on there?

Gah! Listen to me!

He's up there! He sneaked into Pike's office!

[Grunts]

-Don't you go giving any orders!

I ought to put a bullet right between your eyes.

Then I'd be a hero!

-Rgh! I'm the wrong guy! -Come on!

-Come on! -He's up there! God!

♪♪

-Somebody inform His Honor

that his Maniac Cop has been recaptured.

♪♪

-Oof!

[Engine starts]

♪♪

[Tires squealing]

-Ugh!

♪♪

Hurry up! You're wasting time!

The killer's in that paddy wagon!

Come on! Let's go!

[Engine starts]

[Siren wailing]

[Tires squealing]

♪♪

-One reason they call him the Maniac Cop

is that he drives like a maniac, right?

And that chase scene is far from over.

In fact, most of the rest of the movie is that chase scene.

You know the scene where they go up to Sing Sing

on the Metro North Railroad,

and they talk to the medical examiner

who did the autopsy on Matt Cordell's body

after he was set upon by the shower thugs?

Well, the doctor is Erik Holland,

a veteran character actor from Norway who spent virtually

his entire life in Hollywood, which is why you don't notice

any traces of his Scandinavian accent.

Well-known to Trekkies as Ekor, the Scalosian scientist.

Ekor was hyperaccelerated.

And we won't go into hyperacceleration,

but he was radiation-poisoned.

In this movie, he explains the brilliant Larry Cohen thesis

of how Matt Cordell could be alive and dead at the same time.

Leave it to Larry Cohen to come up with this.

"Yeah, well, brain dead, yes.

So I was not lying, and the girlfriend came and got him

because none of us wanted to see him go back into population."

So, great plot device to make Matt Cordell a zombie

and a real cop and a psycho all at the same time.

Erik Holland, sadly, passed away in April 2020

in the midst of the coronavirus outbreak at the age of 86.

What the brain-dead Matt Cordell did not count on

was the resourcefulness of his paddy wagon prisoner,

Bruce Campbell.

Bruce, I assume you did your own stunts

in this wacky conclusion to "Maniac Cop"?

-Yeah, Bill let me do a little more

in the back of the paddy wagon.

I said, "Just roll. Let me roll.

Just roll. Let me throw myself around, you know?

And you'll use a bunch of it."

So, yeah, he was good about that.

But I have to say, at the end sequence

when the van goes off the pier and into the air?

That stunt guy who had to drive it himself --

I think Spiros was his name --

had to drive it himself, and as it went off --

You can't go in the drink with that van.

That's a stunt guy no-no.

You've gotta be clear of the van.

So, he has to get to speed.

Then he has to hit correctly while fake acting,

and then let this sucker go.

Unbelievable.

I mean, it really is a first-class stunt.

That's one thing with Bill Lustig.

He's very specific, man.

He likes set pieces.

I guess I would say that of maybe '80s movies.

The Glickenhaus theory.

You had set pieces. You had sequences.

They're not as expensive as a "James Bond" movie,

but "James Bond" is the only other franchise

that understands set pieces.

Like a fight in a sewer, a fight in a police van.

You know, so, Bill was really good about that stuff.

He understood what needed to be done in these movies.

-Did you want to do the big stunt?

-No, the good news is, even by then, I was smart enough to know

that I could, "A," injure crew members or myself or the van --

'Cause if you blow it, man, just forget it.

No, no, I'm really good now.

I sit back and read a newspaper and have a cup of coffee

and watch the guy go off the pier.

I'm way better now.

I love sharing it with the stunt guys.

And after, we're like, "Hey, how'd that work for ya?"

-[Laughs] Laurene Landon says

that she had a mad crush on you during this movie.

Did you guys ever get together?

Have a few cocktails?

-You know what, I was so square during that time.

I was married. I had kids already.

I didn't drink.

I didn't even smoke reefer or nothin'.

I showed up a professional actor.

And, you know, I was always sort of trained,

"Don't fall in love with the lead actress."

Because it's just --

'Cause if the chemistry turns, it's just --

It's better to flirt.

Flirt and catch the flirtatious nature on camera.

She was extremely easy to work with,

so I detected more of a brother/sister thing

rather than, you know, this sort of business.

-[Laughs] Well, this movie was made prior

to the Cult Of Bruce that came later.

Were you aware of having a large fan base in 1988?

-No, I did my first convention in '88.

It was a Fangoria Weekend of Horrors thing in Detroit.

And I think people showed up just because it was Detroit.

You know, and I'm from there,

so I think I got maybe an artificial sense of that.

No, it took a while to build up, 'cause the "Evil Dead" movies --

the first one was in 1979.

It took four years to make.

So I flushed four years of my life

just trying to make the movie.

Then, a couple weird movies in between.

The second "Evil Dead" is in 1986, seven years later.

"Army of Darkness" is 1991.

We didn't really exactly crank these things out.

So I've been sort of floating on the fringes for a while.

And I think after "Army of Darkness,"

you had enough "Evil Dead" movies

to create a cult following.

You gotta have about three of these movies,

each with different flavors, for people to follow

and then look "home video."

-Well, the "Evil Dead" movies really found their audience

at the video store. I know they did.

-God bless Anchor Bay for everything they did

to resurrect "The Making Of."

You know, the movie's two hours.

"The Making Of" on these DVDs

used to be 18, 20, 25 hours of "extras."

That really brought it back, and those guys really helped

"Evil Dead" just surge in general.

And then, once every decade, then we make another one,

and, you know --

It's not the "Star Wars" linear thing

where George Lucas woke up when he was ten

and had this all imagined.

We farted these out over decades in no particular order.

-Oh.

I know you've talked about being the second choice

for many famous roles, like the Richard Gere role

in "Pretty Woman."

I mean, everybody has casting stories.

"I was considered for this."

"I read for that."

But you've had more than your share

of heartbreaking near-misses, right?

-I suppose, but, man, you can't get sour grapes

about any of that, really.

Because sometimes -- what's the Garth Brooks song?

Uh, "Thank God for unanswered prayers."

You know, I tried to get in "The Phantom,"

which was a big Hollywood movie that Billy Zane got, eventually.

And he's, you know, guy in tights

riding a white horse through the jungle.

It seemed like I was up to it at that time.

It was the first time I really went through that --

what is basically a political process

to become a star of a studio movie.

Starting with the writer, Jeffrey Boam,

I went to all of these meetings and sort of worked my way.

Even Robert Evans --

I had this completely bizarre meeting with Robert Evans,

and to kiss his ring is part of this process.

And then, it got down to me and Billy Zane.

And then, they auditioned us.

It was my first screen test.

When I say "screen test," now they're on ugly, crappy video.

They loaded up the 35mm, man.

Our screen test was on the studio, on camera.

I thought, "Okay, good.

at least I get a chance to duke it out,

you know, with Billy Zane."

And he got it, and the movie bombed.

So no harm, no fowl.

You know, then he got "Titanic."

He's good. -[Laughs]

Well, we're glad things turned out the way they did, actually.

We're gonna watch you dispatch the Maniac Cop now.

The great Robert Z'dar -- the other "Chin" -- [Laughs]

whose last days were spent in Pensacola, Florida,

because he developed chest pains while he was signing autographs

at Pensacon, which is the comics convention

in Pensacola, Florida.

And Bruce, I should ask you this,

'cause that story makes me incredibly sad.

You know, I know you do conventions, I do conventions,

but I don't think I'd like to dieat a convention.

If I'm gonna die today,

I would prefer it not be during the afternoon panel

on slasher films.

So, what do you think?

-Uh, no, I tend to disagree.

I think I gotta go during a Q&A.

-[Laughs] -It's just --

Oliver Reed, he was in a pub, and he went.

[Claps] And for Oliver Reed,

that was exactly how he should go.

I'd love to do a Q&A when I go,

"Let me think about that for a second."

[Laughter]

And then, I just put my head down, and it just --

They clap 'cause they think it's a joke.

You know, something like that.

I don't mind going on--

Going on the job is okay 'cause that's better

than the iron lung for six months,

or some kind of long-term suffering thing.

I'm okay. Just get it over with quick.

That's all I ask for.

-[Laughs] Okay, Bruce. Well, thanks.

I expect you to come back every 20 years.

We'll always be ready to honor "The Chin."

-Joe Bob, I will be there, 'cause by then,

it'll be retinal technology, and you and I will be

holograms floating around people at that point,

so I look forward to that.

See you soon.

-All right.

And now, for the rollicking conclusion

to "Maniac Cop."

Roll it.

And, Bruce, you're a real Campbell, right?

You're Clan Campbell,

which is about as hardcore Scottish as it gets.

Do you have a tartan kilt?

Have you been to the castle at Argyll?

Do you hate Norm MacDonald?

'Cause don't all Campbells hate all MacDonalds?

I think I have that right. Or vice versa.

I know my Scottish history, you know?

Campbells won't even eat at McDonald's.

And MacDonalds won't eat Campbell Soup.

So don't turn your back on Norm, man.

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Car horns honking]

[Horn honking]

♪♪

-Gah!

♪♪

[Sirens wailing]-You know how to handle a shotgun?

-You get close enough and watch me.

♪♪

-Hey! Hey!

Look out!

♪♪

-[Over radio] Vehicle last seen headed towards the river.

Lost contact.

-The river? I think I know where he's going!

-Yeah, sure. -No, listen to me!

Do you know where Pier 14 is?

-Those piers are all closed. They're collapsing.

-McCrae once tracked him to Pier 14.

♪♪

[Tires screeching]

[Sirens wailing][Car horns honking]

♪♪

[Tires screeching]

♪♪

[Tires screeching]

♪♪

♪♪

-Rgh!

♪♪

[Metal squeals]

♪♪

[Sirens wailing]

♪♪

[Car horn honks]

♪♪

[Car horn honks]

♪♪

♪♪

Gah!

-Hurry up!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Guh!

♪♪

[Approaching engine rumbling]

♪♪

-Ugh!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Sirens wailing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Distant foghorn blowing]

[Axe slamming][Metal creaking]

-Hold on a sec! Let me call for a backup!

This is car 4604 requesting a backup at Pier 14 right away!

-Hgh-- Grr!

Guh!

♪♪

[Gunshot][Gun cocks]

♪♪

-Let him go, Cordell!

-Oh!

-Ah! Ugh!

-Theresa, get these cuffs off.

-The keys. -Guh --

-The keys.

♪♪

[Gun cocks]

-Hold it there!

♪♪

-[Grunts]

Ooagh! [Grunts]

[Stammers] Gyagh!

[Sirens wailing]

♪♪

[Engine starts, revving]

♪♪

-Gah!

♪♪

♪♪

Whoa!

♪♪

-[Hollering]

♪♪

-Whoa!

-[Hollering]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Seagulls calling]

♪♪

[Water burbling]

♪♪

[Foghorn blowing]

♪♪

[Engine putting]

[Metal creaking, banging]

-Watch it, watch it.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Camera shutter clicks]

[Gun cocks]

[Indistinct chatter]

-Watch that drowned freak comin' out of there!

[Metal crashes]

[Guns cock]

[Camera shutter clicking]

-Whoa! -Whoa! Whoa!

[Foghorn blows]

[Indistinct police radio chatter]

[Indistinct chatter]

-Whoa, careful!

-Whoa, hey! Be careful, now!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-And so, the Maniac Cop plunges into -- and emerges from --

the nasty East River --

which actually was not the East River.

It was the East Basin Channel at the Port of Los Angeles

in San Pedro, which is, I admit, the grittiest part of L.A.

Isn't that where Tony Scott went to kill himself?

I think it's the prime suicide location

for Southern California.

Anyway, Robert Z'dar, the Maniac Cop,

suffered from a rare genetic disorder called cherubism,

and there have only been 200 recorded cases in history.

But that's where you lose bone in your lower jaw,

but it's replaced with masses of fibrous tissue.

And that accounts for his unique visage,

but he made it work for him playing heavies and monsters

for most of his career.

Robert was from Chicago, studied acting at Arizona State,

was briefly in a rock band.

He was a singer/keyboard guy, guitar player.

Was briefly a jingle writer at an ad agency;

was briefly a Chicago police officer;

was briefly a Chippendales dancer.

I wish they had video of that.

Robert Z'dar at Chippendales.

And he's mostly known for this movie,

but he had a lot of genre roles.

Like, he was the prison guard in "Hellhole."

He was the hooker-killing serial killer in "The Night Stalker."

He was the vicious criminal who beats up Sylvester Stallone

in "Tango and Cash."

He was the actual Angel of Death in "Soultaker."

He was Linnea Quigley's abusive husband

in "The Rockville Slayer."

And Bill Lustig, he doesn't like for me to talk about this,

but there was a really bad movie called "Samurai Cop"

that attempted to capitalize on the success of "Maniac Cop,"

and they hired Robert Z'Dar

in a straight-acting role as the lead.

Big mistake, as it turned out and as you will discover

if you listen to my commentary track on the Media Blasters DVD,

if there are still any copies of that out there somewhere.

They were planning a sequel to "Samurai Cop"

at the time of Z'dar's death, and I-I-I have no idea why.

And yes, he really did die after getting heart palpitations

during the Pensacon convention at the Crowne Plaza Hotel

in Pensacola in 2015.

Okay, come on over, Darcy.

Thumbs-up o-- Oh, my God.

Uh, you know... [Laughing]

Isn't this the second time

you have dressed up as Tom Atkins?

-I'm gonna do it every single time

until you bring him on the show.

-Um, anyway, thumbs-up on "Maniac Cop"?

-Big thumbs-up, yeah.

Bruce Campbell is so adorable in this.

-He's adorable? -Yeah!

-You call him adorable?

-He's still making his little Ash faces.

Honestly, he reminds me a lot of you.

-I don't make Ash faces.

What do you mean?

-Y'all should have played brothers in something.

-Bruce is an athlete!

Bruce is -- Bruce hurls himself through the air,

often while spouting witty one-liners, you know?

-You have witty one-liners.

-Yeah, I know, but I'm not an athlete.

Do you know me?

I have non-witty thousand-liners!

I don't have one-liners. -That's true, that's true.

But it's still not too late for you guys to play brothers.

-Oh, I'd have to be the slacker brother.

You know, I'd be the Dennis Quaid

to his Randy Quaid, you know?

Er, no, I'd be the Randy Quaid to his Dennis Quaid, actually.

But anyway, you liked the movie?

-I did.

Tom Atkins, Bruce Campbell together --

It's like fangirl's wet dream come true.

-Okay, well, I'm -- I'm getting a visual on that.

We'll just move on from that.

But anyway --

-It's simple, and it's kind of by the book,

but that's part of its charm.

The naked fight scene's really cool, and --

even though they wussed out

and they didn't really show very much.

-The naked fight scene --

you mean in the shower at the prison? -Yeah.

-All right. -They could have showed more.

-That was not Robert Z'Dar.

That was Spiro Razatos doing all the stuntwork.

Although I don't believe they used stunt "bewtocks" for that.

That may have been the actual bewtocks of Robert Z'dar.

-It definitely could have used a lot more Robert Z'dar,

but overall, it's fun and totally worthy

of its cult status.

-Okay, well, I agree with that.

All right, what you got for me?

-Tonight we have a father-son monster movie podcast

hosted by 8-year-old Alistair Burnham

and his CadaverDad Jef Burnham.

-He calls his father CadaverDad?

-He sure does. Everyone calls him CadaverDad.

And they do a podcast together from what they call

"Frankenstein's Monkey Farm," which is Chicago.

It's called "CadaverCast."

-And what kind of antics go on on "CadaverCast?"

-[Laughs] Al and his dad discuss and review

horror movies, and it's pretty much

the most adorable podcast ever.

-This is "adorable" night, right?

First, we have adorable Bruce.

Now, we have adorable podcast.

I have to assume that Jef is one of those dads

who believes young children should be allowed

to watch R-rated horror movies.

-Surprisingly, no.

The only R-rated film Al has seen is "The Lost Boys."

They have episodes called "Who the Al is..."

in which Al speculates about horror movies

he's not allowed to see yet but has opinions on

based on the DVD cover art and merch that his dad collects.

Al has a list of the seven best

family-friendly Halloween movies,

and one of them is "Night of the Comet."

So, he's a very smart little kid.

-Okay. -He also interviewed Misty Talley,

director of "Santa Jaws," which is a movie I love.

-So, the eight-year-old interviewed the director?

-Mm-hmm. -Okay, are you saying you have a lot in common

with the tastes of an eight-year-old?

-I totally do.[Laughter]

Al loves the genuinely spooky stuff.

He was scared by one particular scene

in "Phantom of the Paradise."

You just have to listen.

It's a great listen for ghouls of all ages.

-Okay, well, I'm happy to be sending out

the latest Silver Bolo Award

for excellence in horror media to CadaverCast in Chicago.

So, Yuki, come on over and make sure

this genuine silver bolo gets to the Prairie State,

home of Barack Obama and CadaverCast.

[Laughter]

You sticking around for "Maniac Cop 2"?

-I mean, do I have a choice? -No.

I'm Joe Bob Briggs, reminding you that

whenever you find yourself in a hole,

the first thing you need to do is stop diggin'.

The drive-in will never die.

Did I ever tell you the one about the old man

who picked up a frog?

-Probably.

-Are you saying I repeat these jokes?

-Oh, yeah. All the time. -All right.

Well, I don't think you've heard this one.

Old man picks up a frog.

The frog says, "Kiss me and I'll turn into a princess."

Old man sticks the frog in his pocket.

The frog says, "Aren't you gonna kiss me?"

The man says, "I'm 85 years old.

I'd rather have a talking frog."

[Laughter]

-Okay. [Laughs]

♪♪