Original subtitles

[opening theme music playing]

Man, these retro games are so simple.

If this game was any more basic,

it'd be wearing polo shirts and boating shoes.

The only way to die playing this is from boredom.

[both laugh]

You think you're funny, bro?

You wanna keep flapping your mouth

and see what happens?

[quietly] I don't know why, but Ocho is angry at us

and my butt is pulsating.

We can survive this.

I'm gonna relate and defuse the situation. Okay?

[in normal voice] Oh, hey, Ocho.

[laughs nervously]

Don't mean to offend. Heh, gamers, right?

[laughs nervously]

It's too late now, bro!

-You shouldn't have trolled me! -[electricity pulsating]

Argh!

[gasps] Relate more.

It's kind of hard to relate with an emotionally unhinged

8-bit spider shooting lasers out of its butt.

-Argh! -[electricity pulsating]

[nervously] Hey, heh.

I think you got the wrong end of the joystick here.

What's, uh... rustling your, uh... JAMMA boards?

[sighs] That's all I've got.

[both screaming]

[screams]

Stop with the stupid retro game puns.

You're making it worse.

[Penny squeals]

No! Not Penny!

Don't bomb her, man!

[sucks teeth]

[yells loudly]

[panting]

[groaning]

Wow. I... Uh, I, um...

I'm really sorry.

I don't know what came over me. I just...

Ooh! It's... Pfft, it's okay.

-[grunting] -It's not even your fault.

I mean, I get these waves of anger and I...

It's a real problem.

It drives everyone away.

[grunting]

Wait. We gotta help him.

[inhales]

[groans]

Okay. There's a mindfulness app.

It's, like-- it's called Zensynerjyz.

It's free. Just... just download it.

All right. Thanks.

Okay, bye.

[mumbling quietly]

[Ocho] What? Urgh.

[yells] Ah, come on!

Argh!

Come on, dude.

Ugh, fine.

Okay.

It's become sorely noticeable that you have a problem

containing your anger.

Your mind is under pressure, like a soda can

that fell down the stairs...

of, like, the Eiffel Tower.

Except that if you were a can, it would be a can of worms.

A can of Mongolian death worms that jumps straight at you--

What Gumball is trying to say is,

what if instead of containing all that fury,

you just let it all out?

This is a junkyard.

You can break anything you want here.

[grunting]

[explosion]

How do you feel?

Still angry.

Maybe we should try and channel all this energy

into something more positive.

Working out is a great way to release that tension.

-This is a mistake. -[Ocho grunting]

You're only making him stronger.

[grunts] Who didn't wipe the bench?

[yells]

Connecting with animals is also a wonderful solution--

[goat bleats]

[yells]

Music is another great way to--

[yells]

Wonderful, art is such a great outlet for anger.

Yeah, but I think you might've missed

one of my whiskers on the right.

[yells]

This is genuinely boring!

[yells]

My sock is sliding in my shoe!

[yells]

[yelling]

[sighs] You should just give up.

What? We haven't even tried everything yet.

We agreed to save brain surgery for last, dude.

Eh.

We just need to get to the root of the problem.

It's too much to unpack, dude.

Every moment in his life

led him to becoming this, like...

[grunting]

[Ocho vibrating]

You guys don't get it.

You don't know what it's like to be me.

I'm built from ones and zeros, mostly zeros.

My life is like a video game,

but the kind that is heavily monetized

and where you have to grind for everything.

And it's buggy and it crashes all the time!

Wait, wait. Ocho, Ocho.

Uh, we love video games.

Maybe we could help you play.

I don't think you could survive a day

in my game.

Dude, I'm so good at games,

my thumbs made the cover of a men's fitness mag.

And if it means we can beat your bad attitude

and not get master-blasted again and again,

then count us in.

Well, if you really want to experience

things like I do, then you're gonna have to...

[glitches]

Uh, come again?

You gotta come to my house.

So if your life is literally a game,

when you go to the toilet, do you like,

drop loot or something?

Do you have, like, a life bar? I bet you have a big bar.

Can you double jump? Can you--

Look, it's not that kind of game.

And it's real for me, okay?

And as you'll see, I'm not that great at it.

[video game beeping]

[video game beeps]

Whoa!

You weren't lying when you said your life was like a game.

Yeah. This is how things work for me

and things aren't working out so good.

I'm at my lowest score right now.

Don't worry, dude,

because your game just got multiplayer.

-Whoa! -Ooh! Controllers.

Ow.

Okay, what's first?

Uh, my backstory cutscene?

Uh...

Is there a skip button?

Not for me.

[narrator] Long ago, on the edges of space,

a king valiantly fights

to save his Queen and his young prince.

Alas, the war was lost, and so was the king.

[laser beams firing]

But the intrepid queen outsmarted the Border Patrol

and took the prince into...

hyperspace!

Man, is this really how you came to Earth?

Yeah, I think so.

It's the way I remember it at least.

[narrator] Until they crashed...

on Earth!

[narrator reading]

[video game beeping]

Okay, okay. What are we supposed to shoot at?

[Ocho] You're supposed to shoot coins at the bills

before they repossess stuff.

Uhh, this game kinda feels like it should be for adults.

When your mom's out working five jobs to keep the house,

sometimes the responsibility falls on you.

For me, it falls pretty hard.

[loud beep]

What kind of game is this?

Survival!

Why are we so low on points?

If we had any more, we'd be playing this in VR!

[yelling]

[upbeat beeps]

[all cheering]

Wait, where'd she go?

Uh, to her next shift.

[narrator reading]

We gotta do school after all that?

This game's unrealistic.

You usually get a little break in between traumas.

[Gumball] Well, at least we do this every day, right?

Commence learning!

[students grunting]

Ahh! Ocho, your school day is tough.

Yeah! And clearly pay-to-win.

-Ahh! -We're going backwards.

Why are the controls all inverted?

Ahh!

Whoa! We got held back all the way to kindergarten.

What? We didn't even get a chance to win.

Hang on.

No wonder we're getting bottom-fragged.

You're playing life in hard mode.

Oh, I didn't choose the setting.

It was like that when I started the game.

-[sentimental music playing] -[Gumball and Darwin whimper]

[game beeping]

[Gumball] There's no way to change it.

[whimpers] That's a lot of depth for a 2D game.

Guys, I think the game is rigged,

but it is also just a game.

And games are supposed to be fun.

Yeah, sorry, Ocho.

I don't think we can help you beat this one,

but we could maybe help you have fun with it.

Yeah! Let's game this system.

[game beeping]

Put the forms in their hole.

Ahh!

[groans repeatedly]

[all laughing]

Eh! Eh! Eh!

[bicycle bell ringing]

[all] Yeah!

-Yeah! -Woohoo!

[laughs]

[all laughing]

[gasps]

[all cheer]

Oh...

[gasps]

[game beeps]

[all laugh]

-Wow! -Wow!

Hey, I just wanted to say thanks.

That's the most fun I've had in a while.

[inhales]

This game is hard, man.

[chuckles] Yeah,

but it's easier to play it with friends.

[all sigh]

[Ocho chuckles]

All right. Bye, now!

Laters.

I think I'm the angry one now.

Right? Who made this world so unfair?

[both yell]

[closing theme music playing]