Original subtitles

Oh, for shit's sake. Again?

The fuck is going on that's so important

you're missing our episodes?

You should look into that, buster.

Okay, here it is.

[Fiona] Everyone is late with their rent.

Evict her ass.

You fucked with the wrong girl!

You are about to witness the rebirth

of a proactive member of society.

[Adeeb] I am impressed by your work ethic

and your dedication. That's why

I'm making you supervisor.

- [Adeeb laughing] - Okay.

Who are you talking to?

[Debbie] It's just my stupid boyfriend.

Wants me to give him a sponge bath every night.

- [Debbie] He's paraplegic. - I'll do it.

I need a new patient for my practicum hours.

Immigration! Nobody move!

What the hell is going on?

That's her. She's the leader.

♪ rock music ♪

♪♪♪

[Lip] Thanks for the rehab.

[Parminder] I biposied your lump, Mr. Ball.

- It's benign. - I don't have cancer!

[cheering]

[Fiona] Frank found seven pounds of meth

that Monica had, and it's getting flushed

- down the toilet. - [Frank] Nobody flushes

70,000 dollars' worth of maternal bequest

down the drain.

So, you're the little fuckers who stole my meth.

- [Ian] Uh, crap. - [Eric] Shit!

Where's my fucking meth?

♪ rock music ♪

♪♪♪

♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪

♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪

♪ You were beaming once before ♪

♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪

♪ What is this downside ♪

♪ That you speak of? ♪

♪ What is this feeling ♪

♪ You're so sure of? ♪

♪♪♪

♪ Round up the friends you got ♪

♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪

♪ You were willing once before ♪

♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪

♪ What is this downside ♪

♪ That you speak of? ♪

♪ What is this feeling ♪

♪ You're so sure of? ♪

He seemed pretty serious to me.

[Ian] For a meth head, he ran fast.

Fuckin' Monica, fuckin' up our lives,

- even in death. - [Ian] Hey, shh.

Don't let Fiona hear you. She'll go ballistic.

So, how scary was he?

Was he big? Was he armed?

- [Debbie] Did he know my name? - You know, 'cause we can

be pretty fuckin' scary too if we have to.

Agreed.

Meeting adjourned.

"Meeting adjourned"?

[Lip] You got some magical way to get 70 grand in meth?

I do not. I simply don't wish

to discuss it further.

Are you high, Frank?

[Frank] High on life.

High on possibility.

[Lip] You're the one who stirred up

all this shit in the first place

by robbing the storage unit.

I keep telling you, that's the old Frank.

You're talking to the new Frank.

Or the young Frank.

God, maybe it's not even Frank.

Maybe it's Francis now.

[Ian] If you don't figure out a way to help us out

of this shit, I'm gonna take a tire iron

- to old Frank. - You've been a drama queen

since the day you were born, Ian.

Wouldn't stop screaming until you were fully detoxed.

This meth head doesn't know where we live.

We just have to stay away from the storage unit

and steer clear of the cemetery.

And if he does manage to find his way here,

we stick by our story. The secret of what happened

to his meth lies with Monica,

God bless her rotting soul.

- [floorboards creak] - [Debbie] Shh!

- [Fiona] Mornin'. - [Liam] Morning.

[Lip] Hey.

♪ funk music ♪

♪♪♪

Well, you're here early, Debs.

Ah, yup. Gotta go.

Yeah, you know, me too.

Yup.

[Frank] Looking to the future

is the order of the day, kids.

No worrying about old news.

What old news, Frank?

I go by Francis now.

Yevgeny never stops eating.

The grocery bills are ridiculous.

Mortgage is past due, tips at Patsy's are for shit.

The Alibi is empty. Makes me sick to say it,

but I'm starting to regret getting Svetlana arrested.

Kevin, are you listening?

What? Yes.

[sighs] Do we really have to get these genetics tests?

- They're expensive. - Yes, we have to get 'em.

What if I have the Bracka gene

- and I gave it to one of 'em? - Don't think you can get

ovarian cancer, Kev.

Well, we still have to find out

what my shitty orphan genes

have in store for them.

Don't want any more surprises.

- [knocking] - [Fiona] Hey.

You guys still got those, uh, cleaning products

from the topless maid service?

I gotta clean out the empty unit.

[Veronica] Yeah, let me get 'em.

Have you examined your breasts

in the shower this morning, Fiona?

[laughs] Good morning to you too, Kev.

A self exam is no laughing matter.

Do you even know how to do it right?

'Cause it's not just here.

Let me show you. Raise your arms.

- [laughing] Are you serious? - [Veronica] He won't stop

until he shows you. It's not a sex thing.

It's a "save your life" thing.

I thought your lump was benign.

My lump was benign, but the scare was very, very--

shit, what is the word again?

- Malignant. - [Kev] Malignant!

Raise your arms, Fiona, because "malignant"

is not a word you ever want to have to remember.

Drop the overalls.

All right. It's not just here.

It's here too, and under the arms here.

All right?

I got it, thanks.

Thank you.

- [Fiona] Okay. - All right, you're good.

Okay.

It's like having four toddlers.

Most action I've gotten in weeks.

[chuckles]

So, now there's a meth dealer

coming out of the fuckin' woodwork.

[Brad] Hate to say I told you so.

Really? 'Cause I think you kind of

- fucking love it. - [chuckles]

Love it more if you listened to me.

Ah, it's just so twisted.

The meth dealer wanting his stolen drugs back?

That's what's twisted?

That's what our mother left us.

- You know, stolen drugs. - Yeah--yeah,

that, I'll give you.

I guess I just never really saw that before.

Sobriety goggles are kind of like

the opposite of beer goggles.

Fucked-up shit stops looking normal.

Brad, ETA on the red Harley?

End of the week.

Brad says "end of the week,"

so probably next Wednesday.

[Lip] And fuckin' Charlie and Sierra.

I-I-I mean, I can't even hang with Lucas anymore

'cause...you know, I can't see them

or see her, just...

...you know, clean or not, the guy's a fucking prick.

All right, and she wants to be with him?

I mean, it's...I don't know, it's fucking depressing.

[Brad] You're not depressed, Lip.

You're self-obsessed.

Here.

- The fuck is this? - This is a piece of shit

that you're gonna turn into not-a-piece-of-shit.

Oh, are you giving me a project?

I'm giving you something to obsess about

that isn't you. Fix it up.

Make it run, make it pretty.

What's the point?

The point is to get your head out of your ass

before you decide to drink again

and hit an even worse bottom.

[jazz music plays on radio]

[volume increases]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

[tires screeching]

♪♪♪

[tires screech]

♪♪♪

[crashing]

♪♪♪

[Blanca] Dios mio.

Ah...

Brought you that chocolate-flavored soy shit

you like to pretend is coffee.

With a side of snark, just like I like it.

I thought you had work today.

Soon, yeah.

So, that drug dealer that chased me?

Can't seem to shake it off.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

[chuckles softly]

You laughing at me?

Only because it's still hard for me to tell

when you're joking. Are you serious?

Um...well, nothing's wrong with you.

I think it's probably hard for a normal human

to shake off a drug dealer chasing them.

Well, Gallaghers are generally not normal humans.

Grief can change people.

What?

Um...grief.

I mean, your mother died. It changes you.

Maybe you should talk to the counselor.

Rather talk to you.

In fact, I'd...

...rather do something with you that doesn't involve talking.

Ah. Well, sorry.

I am busy trying to help at-risk youth.

Fuck--oh, Jesus.

- [Fiona] Hey. - What is that?

[sighs] Pretty sure it's baby shit.

- [sighs, groans] - [Lip] The woman you evicted

wiped baby shit everywhere?

Yeah, parting gift.

And I'm hoping it's baby shit.

- [Lip] Right. - [Fiona sighs]

- "Slumlord twat." - [Fiona] Yeah.

Kind of a nice ring to it, huh?

- Yeah. - [Fiona] So, you, uh--

you here to tell me what

your little family meeting

was about this morning?

I was gonna ask about borrowing your car.

I got a friend who's in trouble.

- Oh, what kind of trouble? - It's a DUI.

Oh. Right here.

Great. Thanks, Fi.

Sure.

Oh, hey, what time are you coming back?

[door slams]

Hey. [sniffs] Ugh.

Brought you a latte from my fancy new latte maker.

- Ooh, thanks. - [Nessa] Ugh.

You weren't kidding about this place.

Ugh. [sniffs]

So, did you find a renter yet?

No.

I did spend $140 on credit checks.

Turns out that nice clothes and the appearance of money

do not make for great credit.

Why are you drawing on the walls?

'Cause I'd rather my one good applicant

not read the words "thunder cunt."

- [Nessa laughs] - Guy insisted

on seeing the place today, and I don't have time

to paint before he gets here.

[Mel] Hey, good news. Charlotte and Trotter--

from the gym? They wanna move in here.

[sniffing]

Wha...what is that smell?

It's human feces.

Do we like Charlotte and Trotter from the gym?

Charlotte's cool. Trotter's a bit of a shit-show.

So, you'd rather live next to some stranger

that your new sidepiece picks out?

Can your friends pass a credit check?

They're cool.

And we pay our rent on time and we vouch for them.

I still have to run the report. And I have to meet them.

Fine. I'll set it up.

My girlfriend's kind of a thunder cunt.

- Not just kind of. - [laughs]

It's the fertility hormones.

- Is it? - [Nessa laughs]

♪ lively party music ♪

♪♪♪

What up?

[Carl] What up, what up?

How are you guys doing? Come on, bring it in.

Jesus.

Aye--what the fuck happened?

I drove into a house.

Serious?

Yeah.

You kill anybody?

By the grace of a god I don't believe in,

the only thing I destroyed was my own life...

...and the house itself.

- Are you in pain? - [Youens] Both physical

and existential.

We'll stop by the drugstore,

see what they got for existential pain.

Probably something over the counter.

Watch your head.

Ugh.

Hey, Frank? Some kid knocked over

- a bunch of orchids-- - It's Francis.

What?

My name. I made a new tag this morning.

Did you know that the name Francis means

"comes from France," which is a little galling,

because the French use too much butter

in their cooking and they refuse

to pronounce the letter H.

But the name Francis is more commonly used

to refer to Saint Francis of Assisi.

Listen to this: "Francis was designated

patron saint of Italy. He later became associated

with the patronage of animals,

and it became customary

to hold ceremonies blessing animals

on his feast day of four October."

Now, I do like being named for a saint,

and I've always been a lover of animals.

Do I bless them?

♪ majestic music ♪

I would say yes.

♪♪♪

Yes, I do.

And I will...

...on my new birthday,

which shall forthwith

be held on four October.

♪♪♪

[Frank] Did you wanna ask me something?

I...forgot.

Uh-huh.

♪♪♪

Is it because my presence brings you peace?

♪♪♪

Sorry I had to call you.

It's not a problem.

No one in my family would take my call.

[chuckles]

[scoffs]

[laughing]

What's funny?

They're gonna take away my tenure and fire me.

[laughs] Ah...

[laughing]

Why is that funny?

[exhales lightly]

Also, there's the G1 and G2 APOL gene

that causes kidney disease. I really don't want that one.

[Kev] Or the Bracka 1, or Bracka 2,

or the RET proto-oncogene--

which, I don't even know what diseases it causes.

It just sounds horrible saying it.

[Dr. Crowley] Mr. Ball, you are in fine shape

as inheritable diseases go.

Oh, I'm in fine shape.

I'm in fine shape. [laughing] I'm in fine shape.

What the hell is that supposed to mean,

"I'm in fine shape"? Because in science,

a positive can mean a bad thing.

And a negative can mean a good thing.

It's crazy confusing.

Fascinating.

What is? What are you writing down?

What is fascinating? What is fascinating?

[Veronica] Okay. Doctor, just...tell us

about his genes. And speak in plain language.

This is a little over our heads.

You have a very rare chromosomal pattern, Mr. Ball.

You are, more specifically, one in two billion.

Uh, were you aware you are from the Huntsville subgroup?

What the hell is that?

It's a genetic signature that only comes from

one very particular area in Kentucky.

Uh, they were cut off from civilization

by the Johnsville flood in 1826.

Uh, trapped in a rural area known as a "hollar,"

until someone found them again 120 years later.

As a result, they are one of the most inbred populations

in the United States.

[inhales] Did you say "inbred"?

Did you say "Kentucky"?

♪ lively percussive music ♪

♪♪♪

[Bahir] What's that smell?

It's, uh... it's temporary.

It'll be gone way before you move in.

And I'm gonna give these walls

a nice coat of fresh paint too.

[Bahir] Ooh, how's the water pressure?

It's great. Feel free to check.

[faucet runs]

- [Fiona] You a smoker? - Nah, I prefer edibles.

[chuckles]

- Pets? - [Bahir] Allergic.

- [Fiona] Kids? - [chuckling] No kids.

No parties.

Pretty much no life outside of work.

- [Fiona] What do you do? - Tech.

90 hour weeks, and that's if I'm lucky.

I basically just need a place to sleep and shower.

Well, I need first month, last month,

and security deposit.

[Bahir] Not a problem.

♪♪♪

Come on in.

Easy.

[sighs]

Gotcha. Oh, I'll grab this.

[Youens groans]

Are you hungry?

No.

- No? - [Youens] No.

[exhales heavily]

Hey, I'm gonna get you some groceries.

Don't bother.

[Youens] They'll just go bad while I'm in prison.

Prison?

[Youens] As soon as I get in front of the judge,

they'll lock me up for good.

[Youens sighs]

Well.

Get you some food. I'll come back,

we'll make some calls, and, uh...

...find you a lawyer, all right?

It's, like, the most perfect situation in the world.

Lakisha gets her nursing practicum hours,

and I'm free.

What?

She'll be giving him sponge baths.

And you're okay with that.

You guys, she's making him happy.

- Exactly. - [Debbie] Not like that.

You guys think like that?

Well, you seem pretty over Neil anyway.

No, I'm not over him. I mean, I am...

...over him, I guess, but...

I can't afford to lose Neil's disability

and have to pay for childcare and rent and everything.

Then you might want to try

to be the one who makes him happy.

All right, so, I'll Venmo you by Monday.

Perfect. Thanks.

Thank you.

- [camera shutter clicks] - [door closes]

[Mel] Hey.

Are you applying to live here?

Yup. Bahir.

Oh... [exhales noisily]

It's really not a good idea, Bahir.

[inhales heavily]

I've been here three years.

The place is fucking riddled with bedbugs.

And the new landlady, she's too cheap

to bug bomb the place.

Oh, shit.

Hey, thanks for the heads-up.

Yeah, of course.

And...I dunno,

you might wanna burn those clothes.

Little fuckers are...

...like, bouncin' off the walls in here.

- Ugh... [sighs] - [Mel] I know.

Okay, bye.

[door slams shut]

♪ tense pop music ♪

Yeah, you handle DUI?

No, no, it's--it's for a friend.

- Sure, yeah, I can hold. - [Youens] Wasting your time.

Hey, shut up and eat your fries.

[Lip] Yeah, I'm still here.

[Lip] Um, I don't know. He blew a...

[Youens] 1.8.

I promise I won't drive anywhere.

Sorry, yeah. I'm still here, yeah.

He blew a 1.8.

Yeah, he hit a house.

Um, but he didn't injure anyone.

Got lucky.

First DUI?

No, it's his second.

Fifth.

What?

No, sorry. It's, um...

...it's his fifth DUI.

Hello?

Prick hung up on me.

Told you you're wasting your time.

Fifth DUI?

I mean, h-how does that even happen?

Ask me again when you're 60.

Place smells like...dog shit.

Ah, it's baby shit, actually.

[Mel] Wow.

You should go into sales.

I scrubbed the place down,

but the smell seems to be lingering.

I'm gonna give the walls a fresh coat of paint.

Should take care of it.

- We'll take it. - [Mel] Great.

- Actually-- - [Trotter] So, what

do you need? First, last, security?

1,800?

Uh, no.

Well, yes, I need first, last, and security,

but the rent is 1,000 a month.

- [Trotter] 1,000? - [Mel] You're not serious.

Mel and Nessa said they pay six.

Well, that's 'cause they've been here a while.

[oven creaking open]

Will the oven full of baked shit cost extra?

[Fiona] Ugh.

I'll clean that up.

Look, I will give you

2,100, cash, right now.

That's 700 a month.

The rent is 1,000 a month.

[Fiona] And I already promised it

to a nice, quiet tech guy

who's happy to pay the 1,000.

So, you can put in, uh, an application

for any future vacancies, but they'll be a grand too.

- [Trotter sighs] - Tech guy named Bahir?

Yeah.

Come on, lady-friends.

I'll make you a fancy coffee

while you fill out the application.

♪ rock music ♪

♪♪♪

[Sue] Gallagher, your uncle find you?

- What uncle? - [Sue] He stopped by

looking for you. 50s, skinny.

Kind of dirty sexy. Cheekbones for days.

Shit. What'd you tell him?

That you weren't here. He said no problem,

he'll see you back at your house.

[Ian] Fuck.

We have a shift!

♪♪♪

Carl!

Fiona!

Anybody home?

[Eric] Fuck! Where is my fucking meth?

♪♪♪

[water sloshing]

[Eric] You need to think about it a little more, huh?

[Ian] Hey!

♪♪♪

Let him go!

[man grunting]

[men and Ian grunting]

[Ian breathing heavily]

[Ian] Monica's dead. We don't know anything

about your meth.

- Bullshit. - [gasps]

Monica is fuckin' indestructible.

There's no way she just lost seven pounds of meth,

so either she smoked it, or she sold it,

or her fucked-up family stole it.

And in any one of those scenarios,

I am still owned 70-fucking-grand!

[Ian] Fucking stop! Stop!

[Eric] My money or my meth.

You got 24 hours. You understand?

After that, you start worrying about little Debbie,

little Liam, and pretty little Fiona.

[Carl coughing]

[coughing]

Okay.

- [pants] - [Ian] You all right?

- Yeah. - You all right?

[breathless] Fuck.

[panting]

No, I mean, it's bad. You know?

It's "nothing but vodka and mustard

in the fridge" bad.

Wonder what he's putting the mustard on?

And five DUIs? I mean, I don't even think

Frank has five DUIs.

Only 'cause he doesn't have a car.

[Ian] I tried six lawyers. They all hung up on me.

I mean, he's fucked.

Right? I mean, he's going to prison?

[Brad] Not necessarily.

If he can get sober for real

and show a judge he's serious--

but that's his only shot.

I don't know...you know, I don't think

this guy could ever get sober.

[Brad] Know who else they said that about?

You and me, and everyone who ever got sober.

[birds chirping]

[Frank] Can I help you find something, sir?

Uh, fertilizer?

Yes, sir. Uh, against the wall,

next to the roses. Oh, she's a good girl.

Yes, aren't you a good girl?

Yes, you are a good girl.

Are you feeding her? No, don't do that.

But I'm her patron.

What? No, she's a service dog.

You're not even supposed to pet her.

I'll lead you to the roses.

- This way. - Thank you.

- There are steps. - [man] Thank you.

[Fiona] Hey, Frank, great. You didn't lose

your job yet.

Fiona, when you address me,

I'd prefer you call me "Dad,"

or "Father," or "Francis."

Or on more formal occasions, I'll also accept "Saint."

Uh-huh. You get, uh,

an employee discount, Saint Francis?

- I do. - [Fiona] That's great,

'cause this stuff's pricey.

How much off?

Oh, I'm sorry, but my discount doesn't cover

family or friends.

[scoffs] All right, then you buy it,

and I'll pay you back.

[chuckles]

N...that would be unethical.

Here.

So, what is that, seven dollars?

I give what I have to the poor.

[chuckling]

Fuck off, Frank.

[Lip] [sighs] Yo!

Shit! Fuck.

Hey! Hey!

Youens! Hey, hey!

- [Lip] Come here. - [panting]

[Lip] Come here, come here.

- [Youens coughs] - You're good, you're good,

you're good.

You're okay. You're all right.

- [Youens moans] - You're all right.

- [coughing] - You're all right.

You're all right.

- [Lip] Okay? - [Youens groans]

That's all right. There you go.

The broken ribs hurt worse than the broken arms.

[pants, laughs gingerly]

Ow. What are you doing back?

I got you some groceries.

Pasta, 'cause it's easy.

You know, frozen meals for the microwave.

[panting]

And I wanna talk to you about rehab.

[exhales heavily]

You know, I, uh...

...I haven't had a drink in months now, and...

...believe it or not, it feels pretty fucking good.

♪ solemn music ♪

I appreciate your help today. [sniffs]

But I have to... I have to figure out

some very pressing things...

...like how I'm gonna wipe my ass

when it comes time to take a shit...

♪♪♪

And how quickly I can drink myself to death,

so I don't have to work up the courage

to commit suicide...

...because there's no way I'm going to prison.

[sighs softly]

So...

...with great affection...

...and gratitude...

...I'm gonna have to ask you to piss off.

♪♪♪

[inhales deeply]

♪♪♪

[door opens, closes]

I think I'm gonna go.

No, no, no, don't go.

It's been so quiet around here.

It makes me feel weird about day drinking.

That's 'cause all the fucking hipsters

chased away the locals.

Then the Russians chased away all the hipsters.

And then ICE chased away all the Russians.

And now we can't pay our mortgage.

- [Kermit sighs] - Okay,

finish your day drink. Next one's on me.

[Veronica] [gasps] Oh, my goodness!

I found them.

- [children babbling] - [Kev] What?

[Veronica] What do you mean, "What?"

You don't see that?

- See what? - [Kermit] What?

What are we looking at?

The Huntsville subgroup.

Which is what?

[Kermit] Whoa! Kev, you found your family.

- No, I don't have a family. - [Veronica] Kev, baby,

this is huge. These are your ancestors.

When we dig deeper, we'll find your family.

You're not an orphan anymore.

V, do you remember what that doctor said?

They're inbred. What if they try to eat us?

- I think that's cannibals. - [Kev] Well, whatever.

They abandoned me,

so they're terrible people, right?

[children babbling]

♪ lively rock music ♪

♪♪♪

[holding breath] Why don't you try Eric Scarton?

Spell it?

S-C-A-R-T-O-N.

♪♪♪

[holding breath] "Eric Scarton."

The dude sounds like a pussy.

- [exhales] - Ah, shit.

What?

Found his criminal record.

Spent over a decade in the Statesville Pen.

Why?

[Ian] Tried to kill a guy...

...with a spoon.

With a spoon?

♪♪♪

[Ian] He carved out some dude's eyeball

and fucking ate it.

Shit.

Monica could really pick 'em, huh?

♪♪♪

Hey, guys.

Came home early to spend some quality time.

Um.

It's over, Debbie.

I'm in love with my nurse

- and you're a horrible person. - No offense.

- "No offense"? - [Lakisha] You know he can't

edit his thoughts.

You don't love me,

and Lakisha does.

She helped me discover...

...my prostate.

And my nipples, and my other erogenous zones,

and you were just using me for my money...

...which is mean.

[phone buzzing]

What, Carl?

[Carl] Come home right now.

Emergency family meeting.

Don't tell Fiona.

All right, so he tells me to piss off.

You told me to piss off first time I met you.

No, I didn't.

Right, you just accused me

of wanting to suck your dick.

Look, he's... he's covered in puke,

passed out, facedown on his broken arms,

and I clean him up.

Right? Which is may wore than

I've ever done for my prick of a father.

So why am I feeling guilty that I'm not over there

wiping his ass for him?

Well, maybe it's because he wiped your ass for you

- when you needed it. - Fuck that, he just wrote

- a check. - Yeah, with money

that he worked hard to earn and didn't owe you.

[Brad] You--you know what you haven't been

since your old professor ran his car

- into a house, though? - What?

Depressed. Know why?

[Brad] 'Cause fixing a fellow human's

even better than fixing a bike.

And by the way, it's how we stay sober--

by being of service, and by wiping asses

when they need wiping.

And by helping other drunks get what we got.

[sighing] You... y-you think I like

listening to your shit?

- [scoffing] I don't. - No?

No.

'Cause I'm a self-centered prick

like you, but...

...when I listen to your shit, I feel better.

So, it's a selfish thing.

Yeah, now you're getting it.

- [phone ringing] - Gimme a sec, be right there.

Yo, Carl, what's up?

Wait, what?

All right.

All right.

Oh, no.

Damn!

Kevin!

I got the bill for your surgery.

[Veronica] $1,500 just for anesthesia?

[Veronica] Kevin!

[camera shutter clicks]

[bar music playing]

What's this?

It's me.

It's the only picture in my foster child folder.

Cops found me at a gas station,

and no one ever came looking for me,

and now you want me to go back to 'em.

Well, don't you want to?

Yes.

[Anya] Who will give me tour of the back, please?

Who are you?

I am realtor.

Hired by owner to sell shit-hole bar.

- [Kev] What? - Svetlana.

She can't do that, can she?

She own, she can.

That's it. Enough of this shit.

♪♪♪

[camera shutter clicks]

Show her nothing, Kev.

[door opens, closes]

Do you examine your breasts on a regular basis?

♪♪♪

[door opens]

Monica's ex found us?

[Carl] Yeah, he tried to drown me in my own hot tub.

Ian and I got, like, nine grand between us.

You got any money left?

Uh, no. Only a couple hundred.

I had to pay off some debts. Debs?

- [Ian] Doesn't have any. - [Debbie] Spent it all

on equipment and welding school.

I'm broke.

- Liam? - [Liam] Yeah?

[Ian] You have, uh, any idea what Fiona did

- with your meth? - No.

- We have to ask her. - No.

- [Debbie] No. - [Ian] Hell no.

Well, has somebody got a better idea?

[Lip] Something you can sell? I mean,

someone you know that could loan us

- that kind of money? - [Ian] Hey, Debs,

how about Neil?

He literally just broke up with me.

He said I'm a horrible person.

[door opens]

[Frank] Evening, family.

- [Debbie] Jesus, Frank! - [Ian] Whoa.

- [Debbie] Is that a squirrel? - What the hell is that?

[Frank] Roadkill, I'm afraid.

I'll give him a proper burial tomorrow.

Jesus.

- Indeed. - [Lip] Frank,

do you have any cash? We gotta pay

this Eric guy, for real.

[Frank] Of course.

[Lip] Thanks.

Seven fucking dollars?

We could rob where you work.

Know where they keep the safe?

- Absolutely not. - You're the one

that got us into this shit, Frank.

Monica. Not me.

And it's Francis now.

I no longer resonate with a hard K.

[sighing] Oh, fuck it.

Let's talk to Fiona.

Yep.

♪ rock music ♪

♪♪♪

[exhales]

[inhales]

That's strange.

I have...

...I have a strange... [pants shortly]

...a strange feeling. I...oof.

Liam, do I feel warm to you? [panting]

Nah.

[groans softly]

[sighs groaningly] Ah.

My back. [groans]

[grunts, groans]

It's like...

...my blood is warming.

[groans, sighs]

♪♪♪

Sign over the bar to me and I'll tell them

that we were legit married

and this was all just a big mistake.

No.

I will sell my bar and live like a queen

- in Russia with all my money. - [Veronica] Bullshit.

Your dream is a Quiznos in Kansas.

[distant chatter]

I keep two-thirds of bar.

One-third, and you pay Kev's medical bills.

You also agree to take care of

the three kids three days a week.

- We are thrupple again? - [Veronica] No.

I manage bar and all bills.

We do that together, and you teach me

- what I don't know. - I teach you.

But Kev, he is too stupid for math.

- It's the inbreeding. - [Svetlana] What?

We have a deal?

♪ upbeat rock music ♪

♪♪♪

If we weren't so screwed, we wouldn't ask for your help.

[Carl] The dude almost drowned me

- in my own hot tub. - [Debbie] You don't have to

help us, but it would be really helpful

if you could just tell us-- - Tell us what you did

with the last two pounds of meth.

[sighs]

[Ian] Is this the part where you lecture us?

'Cause if you could just speed it up a little bit, that--

You wanna be a smartass, or do you want my help?

I'm taking my time with this

because I want you all to remember this--

how hard you tried not to have to come to me.

Because if you didn't have to come to me,

then maybe you could just get through all this

without having to admit...

...one simple truth.

Which is that I was right.

When I told you that keeping the meth...

- ...was a bad idea... - [Lip] Mm-hmm.

[whispering] ...I was right.

When I begged you not to take it...

...I was right.

When I told you that selling it

and turning yourselves

into fucking meth dealers

was a terrible decision that could go horribly wrong,

I was...super fuckin' right.

- [Ian] Well-- - I am the one who saw

- to your survival... - [Ian groans]

...since you were babies.

I am the only reason that you are still breathing

and have limbs intact.

So, I want you to remember this moment.

[Fiona] So that the next time

that I try to warn you against a plan

that Frank and Monica thought was a good idea,

maybe...

...just...maybe you will fucking listen!

Are you gonna tell us where the meth is or not, Fiona?

♪ tense percussive music ♪

I am, Debs.

I am.

Right after every single one of you says...

..."you were right."

- [Ian sighs] - "And I was wrong, Fiona."

Are you serious?

[laughing] Yeah.

♪♪♪

Time is a-wastin'.

I wanna hear those words.

Okay.

You were right and I was wrong, Fiona.

[inhales deeply]

[exhales smugly] Mm-hmm.

[sighs] You were...

[chokes softly, sucks teeth]

...right and I was wrong.

Fiona. [sighs]

You were fuckin' right

and we were fuckin' wrong, Fiona.

I wasn't wrong.

I took what was mine. I'm not sorry for it.

That's how life works sometimes.

It didn't go my way.

Now, can you please tell us

where you put the rest of the drugs

so that motherfucker doesn't

eat your eyeballs too?

- [door opens] - [Frank] Guilt!

[Frank] It's guilt! It's guilt.

This feeling I've been having in my stomach

and in my bones and in my veins.

[chuckles sharply] I've discovered guilt.

[Frank] Don't you understand?

I'm here to help.

Does "help" include use of your employee discount?

'Cause we're gonna need a lot of shovels.

- [all grunting] - [Ian] This is some

seriously sick shit.

- It's no joke, Fiona. - [all grunting]

God, who buries her mother with meth?

Shouldn't you be asking what kind

of a mother leaves her kids meth?

[Carl] For fuck's sake. I gotta take a piss.

[Frank] I wonder what other new feelings

life has in store for me.

[Frank] I've known glee, passion,

joy, grief, despair.

Were you planning on naming, uh, all the human emotions?

'Cause maybe you could help dig while you did that.

Regret--that would be a new one.

Remorse--don't think I've had that one, either.

- [Fiona groans] - Jesus Christ.

Crucifixion I have known.

The woman we're digging up saw to that.

She nailed you to a cross?

[Frank] It was a sex thing.

I don't like to talk about it.

[Fiona] Ugh. God damn it, this is hard.

[vehicle approaching]

[engine rumbling]

[all shouting]

Go! Oh, my God!

[brakes squeaking]

♪ rock music ♪

♪♪♪

[Lip] Whoa, careful, Carl!

Don't go too deep, all right?

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

[siblings screaming]

[Fiona] [whimpers]

[Carl] Oops.

[Fiona] Oh, no.

[Debbie] What do we do?

Maybe we should hold hands...

...and take a moment of silence?

- [Ian] Ugh! - [Frank] Oh, fuck.

- [Lip] Oh, Jesus. - [all retching]

[Lip] All right, where's the fucking drugs?

[Fiona] I put them under her.

[all coughing and retching]

[Fiona] I'll get the drugs if you guys put her

back in the coffin.

[Lip] Fuckin' A...

- [Debbie retches] - [Lip] Ugh.

[Lip] God. [grunts]

You were so right, Fiona.

[Carl] You were right. We were fucking wrong.

Oh, my God. Ugh.

♪♪♪

[siblings coughing, groaning]

♪♪♪

[snaps fingers] Come on in.

Get in.

♪♪♪

Sweet Jesus.

What is that smell?

[sniffs] Ugh, God.

[Carl] I--I have my hot tub. It's worth, like, four K.

It's, like, 33,000 in all.

[Eric sighs]

That's not enough.

- You still owe me 37 grand! - Stop, stop.

[Frank] Let me handle this, please.

[Frank] Eric, is it?

You were Monica's partner, I take it?

Which means half of the drugs belonged to her,

and we have done all we can

to pay you back for your half.

That smell? That reek, Eric?

That stench that's filling your nostrils?

That's Monica.

Dead, rotting, beautiful, tortured, magnificent,

ridiculous, worm-infested Monica.

She died.

[Frank] We watched her die.

[Frank] And then we put her in the ground.

We buried some drugs with her,

but that's neither here nor there.

And then we dug her up.

But two bags of meth...

...plus nine grand and a hot tub?

That's all we've got.

That's it.

[Frank] And now she's six feet under again.

And if you come near my family, Eric,

as God as my witness,

I will bury you with her.

Are we clear?

Yeah. We're clear.

♪ tense rock music ♪

♪♪♪

[door clanking open]

♪♪♪

[sighs]

♪♪♪

Thanks...Francis.

♪ Your love for me ♪

♪♪♪

♪ True ♪

♪ And precise ♪

♪ It nice the echo ♪

♪ From the tree ♪

♪♪♪

♪ I'll break ♪

♪ Some day ♪

♪ I'll break ♪

♪ Into the old house ♪

[footsteps approaching]

[scoffs softly]

[sighs]

Did you have a chance to reconsider

my friends' application?

I did not have that chance, Mel.

I was dealing with a... family situation.

And I was too busy texting Bahir

and discovering your bedbug bullshit.

So?

[inhales deeply]

[Fiona] So...

...I've been trying to be... nice.

Been trying to be mature.

Trying to rise above my station in life.

But if you wanna go ghetto on me...

...I will beat you at that game every fucking time.

So, you're gonna call Bahir

and tell him that you were lying.

'Cause if you don't...

...I'll fill your bed with real bedbugs

just so I have an excuse to burn all your shit

in the street.

And then I'll evict you

so that I can double your rent.

'Cause you don't scare me.

We clear?

All right, baby. You can do this.

I'm right here.

[sighs]

[line trilling]

[man] Hello? Hello?

- [man] Is anybody there? - [woman] Who is it?

Hello?

Um...I was...

...uh, found at a gas station...

[inhales deeply] Outside of Skokie, Illinois,

when I was two years old.

That was about...30 years ago.

And I...

[man] Oh, my God, it's Bart!

[woman] What?

[man] Bart, is that you?

I think it's Bart. Oh, my God.

[man and woman talking excitedly]

I'm Bart?

I'm Bart from Kentucky.

[man] Is that you? Bart, are you there?

[man and woman talk excitedly]

♪ Dan Croll's "Away From Today" ♪

♪♪♪

♪ I hit the ground running ♪

♪ Running all the way from sin ♪

♪♪♪

♪ She stole my heart faster ♪

♪ Than the bullet that I put in him ♪

♪♪♪

[sighs] Well, shit.

♪ She took the case and I grabbed the wheels ♪

♪ She taught me to fend and taught me to steal away ♪

[inhales]

♪♪♪

♪ My hands are shaking... ♪

[man] Svetlana Fisher.

♪ The long you seek away ♪

♪♪♪

♪ Away ♪

♪ Away from today ♪

Spasibo.

♪♪♪

♪ Away from today ♪

♪♪♪

♪ Away from today ♪

Hey.

Okay, you don't have to go to rehab, 'cause...

...we brought rehab to you.

[sighs] Go away.

- [Lip] No, look. - [Youens] Hey.

I'm not let you just roll over and die, all right?

[Brad] We're just gonna tell you our stories,

- see if you relate. - [Lip] Yeah.

Brad can tell you about the time

he almost killed his girlfriend,

and, uh, Dan has some surprising

hooking-for-drugs stories.

It's good stuff.

Didn't know AA made house calls.

[Brad] Oh, yeah. Think of us like,

uh, foul-mouthed Jehovah's Witnesses.

You don't have to do anything but listen, all right?

Can I drink while I listen?

Not a problem.

♪ Away from today ♪

♪♪♪

♪ Away from today ♪

♪♪♪

[woman on TV] Go up with the hips.

Go left, right...

[flies buzzing]

♪ suspenseful music ♪

♪ Dan Croll's "Away From Today" ♪

♪♪♪

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