Original subtitles

Gee, Frank, what do you want to do tonight?

Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.

The Pinky and the Brain.

The Pinky and the Brain.

One is a genius, the other's insane.

Their holiday plan is to overthrow man.

The Pinky.

They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,

By the dawn of Christmas Day, their knots shall be unfurled. They'll control

earth and bring joy to the world. They're Pinky and the Brain, they're

the Brain.

They'll have the merry gentlemen singing this refrain.

That after Christmas Eve, the world will believe.

And the break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break,

break,

break.

Please. I can't even hear myself ponder.

Can you hear me?

No.

I'll take that as a yes.

I order you to cluck like a chicken.

Move.

A chicken.

All right. Cluck, cluck, cluck.

Good. Now, you are standing on hot sand.

Now, now, now.

Impersonate William...

Impersonate Regis Filden. I'm out of control!

Yes! Success!

Pinky?

The brain! You! I

am me. That, Pinky, is a fantastically powerful doll. Behold,

Noodle Noggin! Noodle Noggin?

Capable of hypnotizing humans, it shall bring out the world.

Um, Brain, do you really want to try to take over the world at Christmas time?

I mean, remember when you tried to play Santa?

Ho, ho, ho.

Who's next to talk to Santa?

I am!

Well, it's difficult to rule the world with no air in your lungs.

Oh, oh, and there was that time we marketed ourselves as popular toys.

We are very popular, huh? Enough.

We're on cars all over the place.

Yes, unfortunately.

Now, that plan... Was a lot of fun.

Oh, oh, and remember when we traveled in time back to Bethlehem and... Enough.

Let us focus on this Christmas.

My plan... Pinky, is to get a Noodle Noggin doll into every home on the

And then, on Christmas Day, we broadcast my hypnotic suggestion to the world.

Impersonate Regis Philbin! Eat God! Chaos!

No, Pinky. My message of world domination, that I shall be their ruler.

problem is that we need one billion Noodle Noggin dolls, and to make all of

ourselves would take 137 years.

Oh, well, we'd be pretty old by then, wouldn't we?

Yes, I believe we'd be 139.

No, the only way to make the mall is to pay a huge workforce.

Oh, oh, I know, Brain. We can get a holiday job as mall security.

Please, Pinky, I... Yes, Pinky, this is it.

Look. Elves wanted for holiday rush.

Apply North Pole.

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Well, I think so, Brain, but apply North Pole to what?

The elves, Pinky. Santa's workshop is the most productive manufacturing

in the world.

Apply North Pole to the elves?

Pinky, right now your brain waves are giving the amazing Kreskin a pounding

headache. We'll get jobs at the North Pole and have the unwitting elves make

dolls for us. And then, oh yes, Santa himself will distribute our doll to

house, hovel, and hut in the land.

Oh!

Yes, Pinky, the verge of world domination.

Well, yes, that, but now I can deliver my letter to Santa in person.

Hurrah! Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Please, Pinky, don't be such a

child. Because why?

Come,

Pinky, to the North Pole, and then the world.

North Pole!

Help me, Drain, that would be... North. North, right!

Usually don't go this far north!

some kind of scientist?

Don't talk much, do you?

Yeah. Had a boyfriend like you once.

Always thinking.

Real quiet.

Turned out he was actually a propane tank.

Which explained a lot.

I miss him.

Pinky, give me a hand with this. It's frozen.

Pinky? What are you doing?

Oh, just working on my letter to Santa, Brain. Put that silly thing down.

As if Santa could possibly read all the letters he gets.

Oh, no, Brain.

The elves in the mail room read them. Then they input the information into big

computers.

Oh, yes, of course.

The Santa computers that run on candy canes and potpourri.

Now put it away and help me.

Take the wheel for a sec, okay? I'm going to grab some coffee.

Take the wheel?

Hey! I said take the wheel!

Shut the door!

Shut the door!

Dummy.

I was thinking, I don't think I really want to be an elf. Really? What do you

want to be?

A dentist.

We've seen too many Christmas specials, Pinky.

Mush! Mush!

Ow! Sorry.

The actual North Pole, Pinky.

Now we must find Santa's workshop.

Hey, Godrain!

Time for our job interview.

Remember, we must be convincing as elves.

You look smashing, Brain.

No. Sort of like a young Sigmund Freud.

Why, thank you, Pinky.

Although I consider myself Jungian.

Yeah, yeah. Now, uh, you got any special skills there?

I have advanced knowledge of mechanical design, electrical engineering...

Product development, draftsmanship, ergonomics.

Good, good. You're starting the mailroom.

Isn't it great, Frank?

Actually, Pinky, this mailroom job will work to our advantage. Take this letter,

for example.

Danny Oren. A bike, science kit, and... Noodle noggin doll?

Shotzi, what is this noodle noggin doll? I don't recall that.

Yeah, well, Mr.

C, we're not really sure. I got those dumb guys down there going crazy looking

for the blueprints.

Whatever it is, we're going to need a lot of them. Every kid on this

is asking for one.

I want you to pull everyone you've got into the factory and get cranking on

these. Find those blueprints.

Yo, I'm on it. And Shotzi, what's with that goatee? Is that still in?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, I'm an elf.

Look, Frank.

The reindeers are inviting elves to join them for a party at Donna's house.

Hmm. Somehow the idea of joining the Donner party is unappealing.

Almost through, Pinky.

Ooh, brain.

What is that? Some sort of new secret hand signal?

No, I think I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome.

There. Now quickly, Pinky. We must hurry.

But brain, there's one more letter. Mine.

Pinky, grow up. There's no time.

We've got to switch the blueprints and get Noodle Noggin into production.

Now follow.

There.

Hey,

hey, what are you doing here? This is a restricted area.

Uh, break time. Union rule.

That's funny, because we don't have a union.

Really? Do you think that's in the best interests of the common elf?

I want you two to come with me.

Look, a decoy!

Hey, hey!

Hey!

Him.

Getaway vehicle.

I can't start it. What's under the hood?

Lipstick.

Let's roll.

Are you?

Of course we are. We're just Canadian elves trying to blend in, eh?

Uh -huh, yeah, Canadian. Well, you failed.

You want to explain these fake ears?

Well, you put them here, and they make your ears all pointy, see?

No. Hey, Shotzi, look at this.

Hey, hey, hey, these are the blueprints for the noodle noggin dolls. What that

we're looking for? A little industrial espionage, eh? Who you working for?

The Easter Bunny? The Tooth Fairy?

Herschel the Hanukkah Goblin?

Oh, no.

Ryan drew those plans himself, while he... Well, gosh darn it, you caught me.

Shucks. Now you'll just have to make those dolls.

You got it, boobie.

Okay, get these plans on the floor. Read tool. Double up speed. Come on, come

on, let's go. We need one billion of these before Santa leaves.

And as for you two...

and everyone online for these noodle -noggin' dolls.

Pink, down there.

Now, try to look like me.

Shotzi, Santa's about to leave and he can't remember that thing he said.

We're leaving.

That display is loaded with our job.

Look, Brain, Santa's coming. I can give him my letter.

Will you forget that stupid letter?

But, Brain, where's your Christmas spirit?

Dashed away with my Bigfoot photos.

Now, please, we've got important things to do.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, on Blitzen, on...

Just act natural, Pinky.

Right, Frank.

La, la, la, la, la, la. Zot! La, la, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la, la.

Zot! La, la, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la, la.

Pinky, not that natural.

The lab.

Now.

This particular scheme has a physicality to it that I dislike immensely.

Ray, isn't this your hypnotic transmitter?

No. Yes, it is.

Quickly, Pinky. We must rebuild.

There's not much time.

Merry Christmas, kids.

Pinky, get me a paperclip from the bag.

Blaine, my letter to Santa.

Pinky, not that letter again.

Paperclip.

Blaine, my letter to Santa.

still here.

I don't care about your stupid letter.

But I didn't give it to Santa. I forgot to give it to Santa Claus.

Pinky, we've got to get this thing working.

There.

Now, Pinky, man your station at the switch.

Give me the ring.

I didn't give it. The letter is very, very important.

Give me the stupid letter.

Now, throw the switch when the meter hits red.

Dear

Santa,

hello, ha -ha, Nora.

This year, Santa, I ask for nothing but... I wish to tell you about my dear

friend, the brain.

He is honest and very hardworking and only wants what's best for the world,

he gets no reward.

He is only greeted with defeat.

He never gives up, but I know it must be very hard.

So please, take anything that you have for me and give it to my best friend in

the whole world, the brain.

Love, thank you.

P .S. By any chance, do you have in that big old bag of yours the world?

You're on.

Hey, look at that.

Ladies and gentlemen of the world, you will do as I say, for I... I command

you... I command you to...

Have

a Merry Christmas, everyone!

Have a Merry, Merry Christmas!

Joy to the world!

Yes!

Here, Brain.

Thank you, Pinky. And Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you, Brain.

Charge through the world!

Not, not, not, not!

Is that necessary?

Hark the herald angels sing! They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain!