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Greetings from Martin's Comedy Movies
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Hi, honey.
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Smells good.
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- Can I have...
- Don't, don't!
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Come in here and gather around!
5
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- I must show you something!
- My new car?
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Keep dreaming.
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Here, eat these.
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- They're chocolate chip.
- They're delicious.
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They're 4 years old.
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Anyone for milk?
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8 years old.
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It's my long-life food preservative.
It's been approved!
13
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I got my big bonus!
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- Congratulations.
- Isn't it great?
15
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And...
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...that's not all.
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Mr. Shirley thinks a guy like...
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...Clark Griswold deserves days off.
19
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And Clark Griswold thinks he should
take those days off and...
20
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...take his family on a fabulous
vacation to...
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...fantastic Las Vegas!
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There's nothing to do there.
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Clark, I don't think that Las Vegas
is the kind of place you take a family.
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Oh, come on.
25
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Las Vegas has changed, Ellen.
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It's the No 1 family
destination in America.
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I'm not going.
The people there are so phony.
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Is there legalized prostitution?
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Not within the city limits.
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But there is...
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...first-class entertainment,
beautiful scenery...
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...and all the shrimp cocktail
you can eat.
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Listen, everybody...
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...how many more chances will we get
to do something as a family?
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Ellen and I are always working.
36
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And you guys are growing up so fast
I hardly recognize you anymore.
37
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Okay. There's one more reason
why you should all go.
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I'm remarrying your mom...
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...if she'll have me.
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Really, Sparky?
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What do you say? My 20th anniversary.
I could use a best man.
42
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,820
Have a bridesmaid in mind?
43
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- How about Audrey?
- Audrey who?
44
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Dad!
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What do you say? Let's do it!
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I think this is going to be
the greatest vacation ever.
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You know you look really
beautiful right now?
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You know, honey...
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...the guys at work tell me there's
this club we can join if we...
50
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...meet in the bathroom.
51
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Clark, are you serious?
52
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You love me, don't you?
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I do, but here?
54
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Now?
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We've been married 20 years.
56
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How do we do it?
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Go first, I'll be behind you.
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Are you okay? You look red.
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Just going to the restroom.
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Excuse me.
61
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Where're you going?
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Your mother's got something in her eye.
I'm going to...
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...help her get it out.
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Maybe we should...
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...join...
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...some other kind of club.
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I just want time with you.
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I just think there's...
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...a better time...
- This will be our best one.
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Foot, foot!
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I got it. I got it.
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I'll never fly again.
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The pilot was helpful.
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The whole plane applauded.
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You two use these bathrooms,
we'll wait.
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Is this ours?
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We're the Griswolds.
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Sorry, my pen burst in the altitude.
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00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:02,760
- I'm sorry.
- No problem.
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00:07:02,930 --> 00:07:04,520
Come this way, please.
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00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:06,690
This is it. This is it.
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Look at this.
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Wayne Newton.
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It's beautiful!
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You must see this.
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Daddy!
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Help!
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I'm stuck!
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Vegas, Vegas, Vegas.
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Look! I think you'll want to see this!
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00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,020
Is this it?
92
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Welcome to the fabulous Mirage.
93
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Don't worry,
it won't leave a permanent line.
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Come on, there's a lot to do.
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00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,630
There's a lot to do.
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Welcome. Your credit card.
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Yes, indeed.
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Griswold, four.
99
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:40,380
We have an excellent
dry-cleaning service.
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It's a birthmark.
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To get to your room,
go through the casino, veer to the left.
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Take a right at the first palm tree.
You'll see a group of blackjack tables.
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Not baccarat, not craps. Blackjack.
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Turn right and wind around left.
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00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:01,410
If you get to the pool,
you've gone too far.
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00:10:01,570 --> 00:10:05,670
You'll see elevators.
They aren't yours, stay away from them.
107
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:09,080
Keep walking, you'll see
more elevators, the gold ones.
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00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,340
Those are yours. Go to the 10th floor.
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You'll find your room.
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Any questions?
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00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:19,350
No, not really.
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Russ!
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Did you get that?
114
00:10:24,860 --> 00:10:27,420
Well, let's go then. Thanks.
115
00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:32,200
Good luck!
116
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:45,220
What's this?
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00:10:48,790 --> 00:10:52,880
Look at these people. Blinded
by glitter and the mighty dollar.
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The elevators are there.
119
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,780
Hold on, honey.
120
00:11:20,950 --> 00:11:24,860
They always put the machines
that pay the most in front.
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$5?
122
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:27,460
Here we go!
123
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:41,170
You see, Las Vegas is already
bringing us closer together.
124
00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:43,770
Let's go to the room.
125
00:11:47,110 --> 00:11:49,010
Honey, call up the kids.
126
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See how they like this.
127
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Rusty and Audrey Griswold, please.
128
00:12:09,470 --> 00:12:11,800
We're right next door.
Can't we get our own rooms?
129
00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:14,540
Please don't spoil your daddy's fun.
130
00:12:14,710 --> 00:12:16,370
Dad, we're too old for this.
131
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Sit down.
132
00:12:24,550 --> 00:12:25,640
Kids...
133
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:27,880
...remember when you were babies?
134
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It was a wonderful time.
135
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We had your cribs right in our room.
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We'd wrap you up in little blankets.
137
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And roll you back and forth
across the bed into each other.
138
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,230
Those days...
139
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,240
...they're almost over.
140
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:49,800
So...
141
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,970
To close out that one chapter,
I got tickets to Siegfried and Roy.
142
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Best show on the planet.
143
00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:58,840
Masters of the impossible.
144
00:12:59,690 --> 00:13:02,350
We're going because
we're the Griswolds!
145
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,620
Can't you just wrap me up in a blanket
and roll me across the bed?
146
00:13:06,190 --> 00:13:08,350
No, Russ. Get dressed.
147
00:13:16,770 --> 00:13:18,700
Want to try some blackjack?
148
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,100
What do you know
about blackjack, Clark?
149
00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:24,610
You forget I was in the army.
150
00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:27,710
You weren't in the army.
151
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:31,370
Not in the army, but I have
played cards with men in uniform.
152
00:13:32,950 --> 00:13:35,720
Just don't want you to lose
all your money.
153
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:40,960
When a man can come to Las Vegas
with a few extra bucks in his pocket...
154
00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:43,620
...throw a ten-spot down on a table...
155
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,630
...pay an extra dollar
for a steak with his eggs...
156
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,060
...that's a happy day for that man.
157
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,290
When his woman is at his side...
158
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:55,500
Is that Wayne Newton?
159
00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:57,840
Why, you want his autograph?
160
00:13:58,010 --> 00:14:00,100
I think he's staring at me.
161
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,350
No, no, no. I must be tired.
162
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,510
Maybe I'll go find the kids.
163
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:10,680
I think they want a little time
away from Mama and Papa Bear.
164
00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:12,950
Let's let them get in trouble.
165
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:17,290
- I'm asking for five bucks!
- What if you win?
166
00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:19,860
You're boring to travel with.
167
00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:24,300
Fine, you want five bucks? Here, you're
a big man. Here's the five bucks.
168
00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:25,800
Get a wallet.
169
00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:30,800
- Hi.
- Good evening.
170
00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:33,710
Would the two of you have any ID?
171
00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:38,270
We left our IDs upstairs, actually.
We're on our honeymoon.
172
00:14:38,450 --> 00:14:41,850
Wait here for 2 minutes.
I'll go upstairs and get the ID.
173
00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:43,610
I'll be right back.
174
00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:48,120
My friend...
175
00:14:48,290 --> 00:14:49,450
...$200 in chips.
176
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,450
Good evening. Changing 200!
177
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:59,470
In blackjack, a smart player has
a mathematical advantage over the house.
178
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,800
Are you a professional?
179
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:05,140
Me? No, not really.
180
00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:06,700
Are you?
181
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:16,890
Place your bet, sir.
182
00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:18,550
Yes, the bet.
183
00:15:20,390 --> 00:15:21,330
What the hell.
184
00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:27,730
- Hit me.
- It's a bust!
185
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:30,490
Fun Police. Hand over your chips.
186
00:15:30,670 --> 00:15:31,500
Eddie?
187
00:15:31,670 --> 00:15:32,370
Twenty-two.
188
00:15:32,570 --> 00:15:33,230
Player busts.
189
00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:39,410
Oh, man, it is a blazer out there.
190
00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:43,410
You're lucky you got air conditioning
in here like mother nature intended.
191
00:15:44,420 --> 00:15:48,180
Clark Griswold, did you think
you could come to Las Vegas...
192
00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:50,690
...and not see your favorite cousin?
193
00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:51,590
Your bet.
194
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:53,010
There.
195
00:15:53,190 --> 00:15:54,920
Why're you in Las Vegas?
196
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,760
Where else can you wear shorts
24 hours a day?
197
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,590
I am on fire!
198
00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:03,770
What?
199
00:16:03,940 --> 00:16:05,270
Shuffling!
200
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,370
Here's the best part.
201
00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:09,600
Thanks to my defective plate...
202
00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:13,270
...the VA gave me a huge plot of land
just north of town.
203
00:16:14,610 --> 00:16:17,550
Every time I belch, the plate
shifts and my legs give out.
204
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,780
But what a view!
205
00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:22,550
Nineteen.
206
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:24,720
Twenty!
207
00:16:24,890 --> 00:16:26,880
Oh, he's good!
208
00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:29,290
He's good!
209
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:35,060
- Another 100 in chips, please.
- Changing 100!
210
00:16:35,230 --> 00:16:36,720
That's it, Clark.
211
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,230
Show them who's boss.
212
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:42,470
It's people who blow the family
nest egg here that built this town.
213
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,410
Not this pretty boy.
214
00:16:53,420 --> 00:16:55,320
Oh, gee!
215
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,920
I can't believe it.
216
00:16:58,990 --> 00:17:01,480
I've lost $300 in 15 minutes?
217
00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:09,830
I'm okay. I'm okay.
218
00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:04,550
You're kind.
219
00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:08,280
What a great audience.
220
00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:09,830
Yeah, always.
221
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:13,060
Terrific!
222
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:15,400
Where do you come from?
223
00:18:15,570 --> 00:18:17,660
Me? Chicago, Illinois.
224
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,170
- Fantastic.
- Chicago!
225
00:18:20,410 --> 00:18:22,570
Why don't you come on stage?
226
00:18:22,740 --> 00:18:24,070
Come on, it'll be fun.
227
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:25,840
- Go on!
- Yeah, Dad, do it!
228
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:28,510
Okay, I'll play along.
229
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:33,050
Applaud!
230
00:18:34,890 --> 00:18:35,720
Good to have you.
231
00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:38,460
What's your name?
232
00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:40,620
Clark Griswold.
233
00:18:40,730 --> 00:18:41,450
Marvelous!
234
00:18:41,660 --> 00:18:43,790
Let's do some real magic.
235
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,390
Listen, I know the routine.
236
00:18:46,570 --> 00:18:50,230
What's it going to be tonight?
Wires? Mirrors? Trap doors?
237
00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:53,960
I happen to know a little magic myself.
238
00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:56,140
I don't know if you've seen this.
239
00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,970
Can you tell it's my thumb?
240
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,240
Looks like it is, but it's not.
241
00:19:02,980 --> 00:19:05,310
Whatever, I'll do what you want.
242
00:19:05,690 --> 00:19:06,910
I'm here to help.
243
00:19:08,890 --> 00:19:09,980
Enter.
244
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:12,090
Okay, I know this one.
245
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:14,190
- Trust me.
- All right, I will.
246
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,450
Is this going up? I'll go with it.
247
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,230
Me.
248
00:20:22,190 --> 00:20:23,460
Where's Dad?
249
00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:25,790
I haven't got a clue.
250
00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:42,370
It's my husband.
251
00:21:00,330 --> 00:21:02,560
How'd you do at the tables?
252
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:05,830
I'm about even.
253
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,830
Why'd you tell Eddie we were here?
254
00:21:10,910 --> 00:21:15,510
Oh, come on. How often do I get
to see my cousin Catherine?
255
00:21:16,420 --> 00:21:19,180
Anyway, we're just
stopping by for lunch.
256
00:21:19,850 --> 00:21:21,180
I want to gamble.
257
00:21:23,190 --> 00:21:24,250
Russell...
258
00:21:24,690 --> 00:21:27,090
...I never want to hear
you say that again.
259
00:21:27,260 --> 00:21:30,350
Gambling is a very serious business.
260
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:31,920
Is that clear?
261
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,360
Excuse me a minute.
262
00:21:57,060 --> 00:21:58,280
Fifty on black.
263
00:21:58,460 --> 00:21:59,550
No more bets.
264
00:22:01,230 --> 00:22:03,630
Red 25! Red wins!
265
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,630
Jeez!
266
00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:25,750
Shall we?
267
00:23:15,370 --> 00:23:17,200
Remember me?
268
00:23:17,870 --> 00:23:19,300
Yes.
269
00:23:26,310 --> 00:23:27,870
Love you.
270
00:23:39,330 --> 00:23:41,050
Your baby?
271
00:23:56,580 --> 00:23:58,540
Are you watching for an address?
272
00:23:58,710 --> 00:24:00,110
What block is this?
273
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:01,770
Very funny, Russ.
274
00:24:02,050 --> 00:24:03,710
Will you check the map again?
275
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,370
Could that be it?
276
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,210
Eddie said there was room for a pool.
277
00:24:09,390 --> 00:24:11,290
Get out the sunscreen.
278
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:21,560
Cousins!
279
00:24:22,070 --> 00:24:23,300
What do you think?
280
00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:28,410
Can you believe they tested H-bombs
on this beautiful property?
281
00:24:30,310 --> 00:24:32,140
I missed you so much.
282
00:24:39,420 --> 00:24:41,410
Don't you worry about radiation?
283
00:24:41,650 --> 00:24:44,590
All I know is my teeth
have never been whiter...
284
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,920
...and my garden has 50-pound tomatoes.
285
00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:51,090
Denny-boy, come on over here!
286
00:24:51,260 --> 00:24:53,090
Look at that view.
287
00:24:53,270 --> 00:24:56,930
It's government property around us,
so no one will build.
288
00:24:58,270 --> 00:24:59,330
Look at this one.
289
00:25:01,270 --> 00:25:02,760
They grow up so fast.
290
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,840
I tell him he'll pierce
himself shut one day...
291
00:25:06,050 --> 00:25:07,270
...but what can you do?
292
00:25:07,450 --> 00:25:09,040
He likes eating through a straw.
293
00:25:09,180 --> 00:25:11,780
They must make their own mistakes.
294
00:25:15,050 --> 00:25:15,780
Does that hurt?
295
00:25:15,950 --> 00:25:16,780
It's not bad.
296
00:25:17,190 --> 00:25:18,550
Who's hungry?
297
00:25:21,630 --> 00:25:23,060
Need help with the grill?
298
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,790
No, thanks. Don't have one.
299
00:25:33,570 --> 00:25:35,200
I'll get the tongs.
300
00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:43,480
Renewing your wedding vows?
301
00:25:43,650 --> 00:25:46,310
Oh, that's so wonderful.
302
00:25:46,820 --> 00:25:50,310
I wish Eddie and I had time
for that sort of thing.
303
00:25:50,490 --> 00:25:53,080
But with the constant windstorms...
304
00:25:53,230 --> 00:25:54,990
...and flash floods...
305
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,090
...oppressive heat and...
306
00:25:57,230 --> 00:25:58,490
...home schooling...
307
00:25:58,660 --> 00:26:00,150
...we don't have a minute free.
308
00:26:00,330 --> 00:26:01,990
Can you hand me that mitt?
309
00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:07,670
I love the kitchenette.
310
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,170
Oh, thanks.
311
00:26:09,340 --> 00:26:12,400
Listen, things could be a lot worse.
312
00:26:12,610 --> 00:26:14,600
Yeah, you could be pregnant again.
313
00:26:21,020 --> 00:26:22,250
I've been...
314
00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:25,120
...earning money
testing fertility drugs.
315
00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:27,190
This one's going to be a winner.
316
00:26:28,430 --> 00:26:30,520
Everyone loves a baby.
317
00:26:33,130 --> 00:26:34,690
Yeah, life is good.
318
00:26:34,870 --> 00:26:36,530
My kids are thriving.
319
00:26:36,770 --> 00:26:39,860
Little Ruby Sue must have grown
a foot since you saw her last.
320
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,200
Daddy, I caught another snake.
321
00:26:42,370 --> 00:26:43,740
That's good, sweetheart.
322
00:26:43,910 --> 00:26:46,070
Put it in the pit with the others.
323
00:26:46,250 --> 00:26:48,010
And go work on your typing.
324
00:26:52,350 --> 00:26:53,510
Nice kids.
325
00:26:55,590 --> 00:26:57,920
Don't ever pick me up again...
326
00:26:58,090 --> 00:26:59,350
...jerk!
327
00:27:03,260 --> 00:27:05,360
Look who's home!
328
00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:08,690
This one here's my pride and joy.
329
00:27:10,870 --> 00:27:14,070
Lord is my witness, I hate this heat!
330
00:27:14,140 --> 00:27:18,200
If it ain't gluing your butt to a seat
it's making you sweat like an animal!
331
00:27:18,380 --> 00:27:20,440
And I want something better!
332
00:27:21,450 --> 00:27:23,210
Hey, everybody.
333
00:27:23,780 --> 00:27:25,770
You remember Vickie?
334
00:27:25,950 --> 00:27:27,890
She's a dancer now.
335
00:27:28,050 --> 00:27:29,380
Her picture's everywhere.
336
00:27:29,690 --> 00:27:32,350
Phone booths, men's rooms...
337
00:27:32,390 --> 00:27:33,720
She's famous.
338
00:27:33,890 --> 00:27:37,060
Show them that little move
I taught you there.
339
00:27:48,910 --> 00:27:52,240
Don't think unnatural thoughts
about your cousin.
340
00:27:58,650 --> 00:28:01,810
She's got her mama's looks and
her daddy's sense of balance.
341
00:28:02,020 --> 00:28:04,720
Hose down, kids!
Chicken's almost ready!
342
00:28:04,860 --> 00:28:06,620
My chicken's dry as hell.
343
00:28:06,790 --> 00:28:08,730
Mine's dry as hell, too.
344
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:12,120
If you want to be with me tonight,
I'll give you my beeper number.
345
00:28:12,460 --> 00:28:14,520
Really? That'd be great.
346
00:28:15,530 --> 00:28:18,630
If you're still hungry,
I can get the salad from the dog.
347
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,860
As appealing as that sounds,
we really must go.
348
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,410
We have a lot of sightseeing to do
and I added tetanus shot to the list.
349
00:28:25,610 --> 00:28:30,010
Sorry about the tablecloth. Rusty's
never had that reaction to poultry.
350
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,550
He ain't used to home cooking.
351
00:28:32,750 --> 00:28:33,650
Are you?
352
00:28:35,350 --> 00:28:36,510
He's sick.
353
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:37,880
Anyway...
354
00:28:38,390 --> 00:28:39,880
He'll be okay.
355
00:28:40,060 --> 00:28:41,750
I wish you two could come...
356
00:28:41,890 --> 00:28:44,760
...but no room for the kids,
so thanks for lunch, and bye.
357
00:28:44,900 --> 00:28:46,490
Not so fast, Clark.
358
00:28:46,670 --> 00:28:48,260
I'll get the baby-sitter.
359
00:28:52,270 --> 00:28:53,260
Hey, kids...
360
00:28:53,510 --> 00:28:55,770
...round-up time!
361
00:29:01,180 --> 00:29:02,340
They'll keep busy.
362
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:04,910
Where are we going?
363
00:29:06,550 --> 00:29:07,640
Hoover Dam!
364
00:29:07,820 --> 00:29:12,050
Over 1,000 feet wide and
727 feet to the bottom.
365
00:29:12,220 --> 00:29:13,660
Where can I buy bait?
366
00:29:13,830 --> 00:29:17,730
I love electricity.
Eddie says we'll get some soon.
367
00:29:18,330 --> 00:29:20,490
What a magnificent achievement.
368
00:29:22,300 --> 00:29:25,460
This is a family vacation.
Try to stay with the family.
369
00:29:25,670 --> 00:29:26,660
Sorry, honey.
370
00:29:26,910 --> 00:29:30,000
This way, please.
The tour is about to start.
371
00:29:32,410 --> 00:29:33,900
Welcome, everyone.
372
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,410
I am your dam guide, Arnie.
373
00:29:36,850 --> 00:29:41,010
I'm about to take you through
a fully functioning power plant.
374
00:29:41,420 --> 00:29:42,750
So please...
375
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,580
...no one wander off the dam tour.
376
00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:49,080
Please, take all the dam pictures
you want.
377
00:29:49,530 --> 00:29:51,520
Now, any dam questions?
378
00:29:52,260 --> 00:29:54,200
Where can I get some dam bait?!
379
00:29:56,940 --> 00:29:58,700
This way, please.
380
00:30:00,210 --> 00:30:01,540
What'd he say?
381
00:30:01,940 --> 00:30:03,270
This way.
382
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,610
Don't worry about water leaking
through the rocks. It's normal.
383
00:30:08,780 --> 00:30:10,770
Please, keep up with the tour.
384
00:30:14,390 --> 00:30:17,550
This is one of the oldest
dam tunnels we have.
385
00:30:20,790 --> 00:30:21,720
Come here!
386
00:30:23,860 --> 00:30:24,990
Give me your gum.
387
00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:26,460
From my mouth?
388
00:30:26,630 --> 00:30:29,290
Any gum! Look what's happening here!
389
00:30:29,470 --> 00:30:31,130
- Here.
- I'll catch up.
390
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:57,930
Damn it.
391
00:31:23,790 --> 00:31:26,120
Where is the damn dam tour?
392
00:31:29,030 --> 00:31:31,190
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
393
00:31:46,810 --> 00:31:51,310
And there are over 100 million tons
of cement in these walls.
394
00:31:55,990 --> 00:31:57,720
Hello. Hello.
395
00:31:58,320 --> 00:31:59,550
Help!
396
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,410
It's not that high.
397
00:32:34,930 --> 00:32:36,520
Okay, here we go.
398
00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:38,250
Let's see if I've still got it.
399
00:32:48,110 --> 00:32:50,040
Nice breeze up here.
400
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,210
That's how a power plant works.
401
00:32:55,710 --> 00:32:56,870
How?
402
00:33:06,220 --> 00:33:08,950
This tour gets better every week.
403
00:33:09,130 --> 00:33:10,620
Fishing's been better.
404
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,790
Remember when I had that puffer fish?
405
00:33:39,990 --> 00:33:42,150
Just like in gym.
406
00:33:42,330 --> 00:33:43,990
One hand at a time.
407
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:51,330
Ellen!
408
00:33:52,170 --> 00:33:53,160
What's that?
409
00:33:53,340 --> 00:33:56,830
"Oh, beautiful, for spacious skies
410
00:33:57,610 --> 00:34:00,010
"For amber waves of..."
411
00:34:03,350 --> 00:34:04,840
Oh, my God!
412
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,110
Sorry, honey, I'll be right up.
413
00:34:14,030 --> 00:34:15,290
This is steep.
414
00:34:15,690 --> 00:34:16,790
Here we go.
415
00:34:31,610 --> 00:34:32,410
Need help?
416
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:33,810
No, I got it.
417
00:34:36,550 --> 00:34:40,140
That's a workout there, isn't it?
Climbed all the way up.
418
00:34:42,050 --> 00:34:43,880
I almost lost my tag.
419
00:34:44,490 --> 00:34:46,820
Drinks at the snacketeria, on me.
420
00:35:13,550 --> 00:35:17,540
I've noticed you're taking more
of an interest in the fairer sex.
421
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,220
There's something your
old dad would like to say.
422
00:35:22,090 --> 00:35:23,250
You see...
423
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,690
...there comes a time...
424
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,530
...in every young man's
life when he enters...
425
00:35:28,700 --> 00:35:31,690
...the fragrant garden
of beautiful flowers.
426
00:35:32,270 --> 00:35:35,600
And he wants to enter that garden
with a knowledge and...
427
00:35:35,770 --> 00:35:37,110
...a mulch...
428
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:41,440
...to let the flowers bloom
more brightly, rather than...
429
00:35:42,010 --> 00:35:43,040
Dad.
430
00:35:43,210 --> 00:35:43,870
What?
431
00:35:44,220 --> 00:35:46,550
If this is about sex, I already know.
432
00:35:47,390 --> 00:35:48,110
You do?
433
00:35:54,890 --> 00:35:56,120
Good talk, son.
434
00:35:57,860 --> 00:36:00,850
So what's it going to be tonight?
"The Amazing Elvis"?
435
00:36:01,030 --> 00:36:02,690
"Liberace on Ice"?
436
00:36:02,870 --> 00:36:06,200
Clark, I don't know.
It's been such a long day.
437
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:11,980
At Hoover Dam the water level
dropped four feet from a flood.
438
00:36:12,210 --> 00:36:13,640
Thank you.
439
00:36:16,820 --> 00:36:18,370
Look at this.
440
00:36:18,650 --> 00:36:20,550
Four tickets to Wayne Newton.
441
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:22,880
Wayne Newton?!
442
00:36:25,490 --> 00:36:26,320
Wayne Newton?
443
00:36:26,490 --> 00:36:29,390
That's Las Vegas,
they never stop giving!
444
00:36:29,990 --> 00:36:31,390
Hi, for Ellen Griswold?
445
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:33,830
I'm Mr. Ellen Griswold.
446
00:36:45,740 --> 00:36:47,740
"Please wear this tonight.
447
00:36:47,910 --> 00:36:49,400
"A friend."
448
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:52,010
Who's it from?
449
00:36:52,850 --> 00:36:54,910
I don't know.
450
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:57,580
But it's beautiful.
451
00:37:00,190 --> 00:37:03,590
They really know how to treat
their high rollers around here.
452
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,090
Okay, kids...
453
00:37:05,260 --> 00:37:07,090
...inspection in five minutes.
454
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,690
You heard him! Move it!
455
00:37:13,810 --> 00:37:18,240
Wayne Newton just happens to be
one of America's greatest entertainers.
456
00:37:19,140 --> 00:37:20,810
He has an effect on women.
457
00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:23,810
Yes, Griswold, Griswold.
Right this way, sir.
458
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:27,480
Here...
459
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:29,980
...make the seats good.
460
00:37:34,590 --> 00:37:37,320
No gratuity is necessary, sir.
461
00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:39,830
- No, really. Keep it.
- Follow me.
462
00:37:43,170 --> 00:37:44,600
We're in the front row.
463
00:37:44,770 --> 00:37:46,000
I tipped him.
464
00:37:46,170 --> 00:37:48,440
"A man knows a moment
465
00:37:48,610 --> 00:37:50,600
"One wonderful moment
466
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,500
"When fate takes his hand"
467
00:37:55,110 --> 00:37:56,670
What energy!
468
00:37:57,850 --> 00:38:00,010
"My once in a lifetime"
469
00:38:02,020 --> 00:38:03,110
Thank you.
470
00:38:03,290 --> 00:38:05,620
You're a magical group of people.
471
00:38:06,290 --> 00:38:07,620
And, Greg...
472
00:38:07,790 --> 00:38:10,450
Give me some birds. Let me hear birds.
473
00:38:21,140 --> 00:38:23,870
"Yes, loving you
474
00:38:25,140 --> 00:38:28,870
"Is easy 'cause you're beautiful
475
00:38:30,150 --> 00:38:32,550
"Making love to you
476
00:38:34,550 --> 00:38:36,040
"Is all I want
477
00:38:36,220 --> 00:38:38,380
"To do
478
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:40,990
"Yes, loving you
479
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:47,160
"Has made my life so beautiful
480
00:38:48,070 --> 00:38:49,900
"And every time that we
481
00:38:54,740 --> 00:38:57,400
"I'm full of loving...?"
482
00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,340
Mrs. Ellen Griswold.
483
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:01,510
Ellen, huh?
484
00:39:02,580 --> 00:39:06,020
Holy crap,
Wayne Newton's hitting on Mom.
485
00:39:06,420 --> 00:39:08,350
It's all part of the act.
486
00:39:09,090 --> 00:39:10,080
Now you.
487
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:26,530
"No one else"
488
00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:28,930
I think we know who sent the dress.
489
00:39:29,110 --> 00:39:31,600
"The colors that you bring"
490
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:32,940
You're lucky.
491
00:39:33,110 --> 00:39:36,210
I've been to every Wayne show
for the last 15 years.
492
00:39:36,380 --> 00:39:39,210
I've never seen him do
anything like this.
493
00:39:40,290 --> 00:39:43,550
"Each day in springtime"
494
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,720
I'm just saying I've never heard you
hit those notes before.
495
00:39:50,900 --> 00:39:52,120
Don't worry.
496
00:39:52,300 --> 00:39:55,390
You have nothing to fear
from Wayne Newton. He's...
497
00:39:55,570 --> 00:39:56,900
...unattainable.
498
00:39:57,240 --> 00:39:58,790
Did you see him staring at...
499
00:39:58,970 --> 00:40:00,130
Watch your mouth.
500
00:40:00,310 --> 00:40:03,070
I think I'll go upstairs
and take a bath.
501
00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:04,300
Not me.
502
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:06,740
Anyone for craps?
503
00:40:06,910 --> 00:40:08,310
We're too young.
504
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,740
I was once too young.
505
00:40:13,420 --> 00:40:14,410
Here.
506
00:40:15,420 --> 00:40:16,650
Take 20 bucks.
507
00:40:16,820 --> 00:40:18,080
If you need me...
508
00:40:18,260 --> 00:40:20,990
...l'll be rolling the dice.
509
00:40:21,930 --> 00:40:22,920
Have fun, kids.
510
00:40:23,590 --> 00:40:25,430
- Have a nice night.
- See you later.
511
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,590
Daddy wants a seven! Let's go, seven!
512
00:40:31,770 --> 00:40:34,170
Seven! A winner!
513
00:40:34,340 --> 00:40:37,170
Place your bets.
Lucky roller coming out.
514
00:40:37,340 --> 00:40:38,500
Place your bets.
515
00:40:41,810 --> 00:40:44,980
Let go of me! Let go of me!
516
00:40:45,750 --> 00:40:47,240
There he is. Clark!
517
00:40:47,590 --> 00:40:49,250
See, I told you.
518
00:40:49,690 --> 00:40:51,850
Look out, don't hurt me now.
519
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,350
Nice place for a pearl necklace.
520
00:40:54,630 --> 00:40:56,120
Do you know this person?
521
00:40:56,290 --> 00:40:58,630
Hi, Clark Griswold. Nice to meet you.
522
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,290
Have you ever swam with dolphins?
523
00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:04,930
Them things is hard to catch.
524
00:41:05,100 --> 00:41:07,830
Twelve. Craps. A loser.
525
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,300
Has anyone ever told you before...
526
00:41:11,210 --> 00:41:12,300
...you're bad luck?
527
00:41:13,340 --> 00:41:15,840
Those were my mother's dying words.
528
00:41:16,010 --> 00:41:19,450
But when you got your body
covered in third-degree burns...
529
00:41:19,620 --> 00:41:22,520
...and your foot's in a bear trap,
you start talking crazy.
530
00:41:29,690 --> 00:41:32,630
I've run out of money.
Do you cash checks?
531
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,960
Only if you're staying at the hotel.
532
00:41:35,130 --> 00:41:36,360
Indeed I am.
533
00:41:37,470 --> 00:41:39,200
Here we are.
534
00:41:45,210 --> 00:41:46,800
No problem.
535
00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:55,980
Good luck.
536
00:41:56,150 --> 00:41:58,320
Look, Clark, if you're...
537
00:41:58,490 --> 00:42:01,720
...thinking about buying me
a Cadillac, forget it.
538
00:42:01,890 --> 00:42:02,720
I won't take it.
539
00:42:02,930 --> 00:42:04,420
I'm just trying to get even.
540
00:42:04,930 --> 00:42:07,190
Now where can I do the most damage?
541
00:42:10,500 --> 00:42:12,490
"Come fly with me
542
00:42:12,670 --> 00:42:13,830
"Let's fly"
543
00:42:14,010 --> 00:42:15,910
Shrimp cocktail, 29 cents.
544
00:42:16,240 --> 00:42:19,230
"If you can use some exotic boo"
545
00:42:19,740 --> 00:42:21,510
Fake IDs.
546
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:22,840
How'd you know?
547
00:42:23,010 --> 00:42:26,580
When I was your age I needed
a water cannon to keep me away...
548
00:42:26,750 --> 00:42:28,510
...from the girls.
549
00:42:28,690 --> 00:42:30,590
Ten bucks. Ten! Ten!
550
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,090
Shrimp, ladies.
551
00:42:32,260 --> 00:42:33,750
I need the ten.
552
00:42:35,030 --> 00:42:36,360
Here.
553
00:42:36,930 --> 00:42:38,920
Have a good evening, Mr. Morris.
554
00:42:39,430 --> 00:42:41,020
"That's why..."
555
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:41,860
Whatever.
556
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,600
- Another 21!
- You nailed her there.
557
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,130
Let's see. House has 14,
and house busts.
558
00:42:48,540 --> 00:42:50,200
Oh, boy!
559
00:42:50,370 --> 00:42:52,100
Wendy, you are my lucky charm.
560
00:42:52,380 --> 00:42:54,870
I don't know what's wrong
with me tonight.
561
00:42:56,050 --> 00:42:57,380
You're rolling.
562
00:42:57,720 --> 00:42:59,550
Good luck, everybody.
563
00:43:02,450 --> 00:43:03,720
Good luck, everybody!
564
00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:05,880
Batter up.
565
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,450
Big bet for a big man!
566
00:43:12,230 --> 00:43:14,960
Sure you don't want to save money
for the buffet?
567
00:43:15,130 --> 00:43:15,960
Okay, wise guy.
568
00:43:16,130 --> 00:43:17,800
Go against three hands.
569
00:43:20,470 --> 00:43:22,460
This should be sweet.
570
00:43:22,740 --> 00:43:24,970
Sweet for me. You're finished.
571
00:43:29,750 --> 00:43:30,980
Straw.
572
00:43:32,420 --> 00:43:33,910
I'm trying to concentrate.
573
00:43:36,910 --> 00:43:39,570
That's a bigger fire
than the red drink.
574
00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:50,150
Did you come to Las Vegas
to be a showgirl?
575
00:43:50,650 --> 00:43:53,090
No, I'm on vacation with my parents.
576
00:43:55,790 --> 00:43:58,520
Hard to believe we're related, right?
577
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,130
A drink, please.
578
00:44:10,310 --> 00:44:12,370
Welcome. Can I see some ID?
579
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:23,310
I think we have a problem.
580
00:44:28,890 --> 00:44:30,050
Good night.
581
00:44:35,670 --> 00:44:37,330
Hey, why the long face?
582
00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:40,330
You know that crap ID you sold me?
I want my ten bucks back.
583
00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:42,340
Those bums threw you out?
584
00:44:42,910 --> 00:44:46,000
Helicopter rides to the Grand Canyon.
See it as God does.
585
00:44:46,180 --> 00:44:47,340
They tossed me.
586
00:44:49,350 --> 00:44:51,510
Don't they realize
what it's like to be:
587
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,340
"A boy on the town when he's in love"
588
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:55,750
Give me my money.
589
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,250
I'm not through with you yet. Okay?
590
00:44:58,590 --> 00:45:03,080
You're Nick Pappagiorgio. You're from
Yuma, Arizona. You're into software.
591
00:45:03,260 --> 00:45:05,850
Put your head in the hole
and say "Joey Heatherton."
592
00:45:06,030 --> 00:45:08,520
- Right here on the strip?
- Smile, kid.
593
00:45:08,700 --> 00:45:09,690
You're in Vegas!
594
00:45:29,750 --> 00:45:33,420
So you guys have been together
longer than the real Beatles?
595
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:34,580
Great.
596
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,090
Will you excuse me?
597
00:45:43,430 --> 00:45:45,430
You want to dance up here?
598
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:47,370
No, I don't think so.
599
00:45:47,940 --> 00:45:50,700
Audrey, honey, let me tell you
something I learned.
600
00:45:50,870 --> 00:45:54,710
In this world, you're either
up on stage in the spotlight...
601
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,040
...or down in the pit serving drinks.
602
00:45:57,210 --> 00:45:58,610
Go have fun.
603
00:46:25,980 --> 00:46:27,810
What are you doing up there?
604
00:46:28,650 --> 00:46:30,980
I'm starting my vacation!
605
00:46:34,490 --> 00:46:36,820
She's going to break hearts.
606
00:46:37,150 --> 00:46:39,150
She's going to break something.
607
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:19,190
Congratulations.
608
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:20,520
You won the car.
609
00:47:21,700 --> 00:47:23,130
May I see some ID?
610
00:47:29,870 --> 00:47:32,640
Where would you like the car sent,
Mr. Pappagiorgio?
611
00:47:39,650 --> 00:47:40,380
Eighteen.
612
00:47:42,150 --> 00:47:43,140
Nineteen.
613
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:44,550
So close.
614
00:47:47,390 --> 00:47:49,990
I've had enough.
Let's get out of here.
615
00:47:50,730 --> 00:47:52,390
Good luck, sir.
616
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:57,560
Never seen such a beating since
someone stuck a banana in my pants...
617
00:47:57,740 --> 00:47:58,830
...and turned a monkey loose.
618
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:00,730
Thanks for the pick-me-up.
619
00:48:00,900 --> 00:48:04,000
Why don't you just call it a night
and let Ellen lick your wounds?
620
00:48:04,170 --> 00:48:07,580
That sounds great,
but Ellen went to sleep hours ago.
621
00:48:07,750 --> 00:48:10,340
She must be one hell of a sleepwalker.
622
00:48:12,580 --> 00:48:14,520
Did you record that in Germany?
623
00:48:15,750 --> 00:48:17,080
Good night, Eddie.
624
00:48:18,060 --> 00:48:20,550
That's how they got the title
"Danke Sch�n."
625
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:21,950
It means "thank you."
626
00:48:22,230 --> 00:48:23,780
"Thank you" in German.
627
00:48:28,300 --> 00:48:29,960
I thought you went to bed.
628
00:48:30,130 --> 00:48:32,230
It got late. I got worried.
629
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:33,960
Clark, Wayne Newton.
630
00:48:34,570 --> 00:48:35,560
Nice to meet you.
631
00:48:35,740 --> 00:48:38,400
You're in food preservatives?
What a gas.
632
00:48:40,580 --> 00:48:42,070
I like it.
633
00:48:42,250 --> 00:48:43,650
As I was saying...
634
00:48:43,810 --> 00:48:45,910
You've traveled.
We never go anywhere.
635
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:50,490
We're very boring. Usually Clark falls
asleep in front of the TV each night.
636
00:48:50,650 --> 00:48:53,750
I guess I'll go upstairs
and get some sleep.
637
00:48:55,260 --> 00:48:58,160
Let me just tip the piano player.
She was marvelous.
638
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:01,460
I might have... l've got a chip here.
639
00:49:04,740 --> 00:49:05,720
Danke Sch�n.
640
00:49:06,970 --> 00:49:07,900
Thanks.
641
00:49:08,110 --> 00:49:09,330
Sit down.
642
00:49:12,340 --> 00:49:14,000
Very special lady.
643
00:49:14,780 --> 00:49:18,270
That's why I entered into the sacred
bond of marriage with her.
644
00:49:19,020 --> 00:49:20,350
I hear that.
645
00:49:21,290 --> 00:49:23,520
You know, I love women.
646
00:49:23,690 --> 00:49:25,780
I observe them.
647
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:27,620
I cherish them.
648
00:49:29,830 --> 00:49:31,820
Don't let that one out of your sight.
649
00:49:41,170 --> 00:49:45,270
Wayne has invited us to Shenandoah
tomorrow for lunch.
650
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:46,430
That's my home.
651
00:49:46,610 --> 00:49:47,600
Thank you.
652
00:49:47,780 --> 00:49:49,440
But we have a lot of plans.
653
00:49:49,610 --> 00:49:50,270
Don't we?
654
00:49:53,850 --> 00:49:56,120
Oh, my God!
655
00:49:56,290 --> 00:49:58,520
It's Wayne Newton!
656
00:50:00,190 --> 00:50:02,020
I'm a fan, sir.
657
00:50:02,190 --> 00:50:03,180
I'm a fan.
658
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:04,850
I can believe it!
659
00:50:05,030 --> 00:50:07,020
Take my seat, Eddie.
660
00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,530
Thank you for the drink.
661
00:50:10,700 --> 00:50:12,130
Good night, Wayne.
662
00:50:19,210 --> 00:50:20,800
Do you need a bodyguard?
663
00:50:20,980 --> 00:50:22,380
I'd die for you.
664
00:50:29,890 --> 00:50:32,650
Could I play $5 in coins, please?
665
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:34,860
I'd like to bet $5.
666
00:50:35,090 --> 00:50:36,180
$5.
667
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:37,350
New roller.
668
00:50:37,530 --> 00:50:39,690
Looks like a shooter.
I'm going for it.
669
00:50:39,860 --> 00:50:42,530
- Go for this. Go for this.
- I'm ready.
670
00:50:42,700 --> 00:50:43,600
Come on!
671
00:50:44,530 --> 00:50:45,930
Seven, now!
672
00:50:46,100 --> 00:50:47,370
Seven! A winner.
673
00:50:48,570 --> 00:50:49,560
Way to go!
674
00:50:51,740 --> 00:50:52,400
Press it?
675
00:50:52,910 --> 00:50:53,840
Press it?
676
00:50:54,010 --> 00:50:55,340
I want to press this up.
677
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:56,340
Press it?
678
00:50:56,510 --> 00:50:57,840
Yeah, press it.
679
00:50:58,020 --> 00:51:00,180
Give him the dice. Come on.
680
00:51:02,690 --> 00:51:03,580
Seven, dice!
681
00:51:04,690 --> 00:51:05,750
Winner.
682
00:51:06,190 --> 00:51:07,020
Fantastic!
683
00:51:07,190 --> 00:51:08,350
He's great!
684
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:12,020
I'm sorry to bother you, sir.
May I see some ID?
685
00:51:13,030 --> 00:51:14,690
ID? Sure.
686
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:18,190
Thank you.
687
00:51:22,540 --> 00:51:25,600
Welcome to the Mirage, Mr. Pappagiorgio.
688
00:51:25,780 --> 00:51:28,440
Why do they do that
when we got a hot table?
689
00:51:29,610 --> 00:51:30,770
How's Yuma?
690
00:51:30,950 --> 00:51:31,880
It's great.
691
00:51:32,050 --> 00:51:36,450
My wife and kids are back in Yuma,
where I work in software...
692
00:51:36,620 --> 00:51:38,110
In the software business.
693
00:51:38,290 --> 00:51:40,220
Let him roll the dice.
694
00:51:42,630 --> 00:51:43,790
No glasses tonight?
695
00:51:45,460 --> 00:51:47,120
No, I do not require them.
696
00:51:48,570 --> 00:51:49,790
Good luck, sir.
697
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:52,960
But you do.
698
00:51:53,300 --> 00:51:54,570
- Come on!
- Seven!
699
00:51:54,740 --> 00:51:58,400
Seven again! Seven again!
I can't believe it!
700
00:52:02,250 --> 00:52:04,080
Don't wake them.
701
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:15,760
Forget craps, forget blackjack.
If you want to make money...
702
00:52:16,990 --> 00:52:20,830
...walk up to a baccarat table and say,
"I want to play baccarat."
703
00:52:22,170 --> 00:52:24,260
Feeling lucky tonight, Sparky?
704
00:52:24,430 --> 00:52:28,000
Not right now, honey.
They're teaching me baccarat.
705
00:52:29,110 --> 00:52:30,660
Bet with the player.
706
00:52:32,780 --> 00:52:35,440
That's not exactly what I had in mind.
707
00:52:35,610 --> 00:52:38,950
Bet with the bank.
Bet with the player.
708
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:41,280
Nine is a natural.
709
00:52:41,450 --> 00:52:42,850
Bet with the bank.
710
00:52:43,020 --> 00:52:46,110
Bet with the player.
Nine is a natural.
711
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:49,620
Bet with the bank.
712
00:52:49,790 --> 00:52:51,190
Bet with the player.
713
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:52,690
Nine is a natural.
714
00:52:53,700 --> 00:52:55,460
Bet with the bank.
715
00:52:55,630 --> 00:52:57,030
Eight is a winner.
716
00:52:58,300 --> 00:52:59,360
Give me that.
717
00:52:59,540 --> 00:53:02,200
We shouldn't be doing this
before we get married?
718
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:06,370
Hard six coming out.
719
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:08,710
Hit me.
720
00:53:10,050 --> 00:53:11,310
Good night.
721
00:53:16,050 --> 00:53:17,210
Do it again!
722
00:53:17,390 --> 00:53:18,720
Do it again!
723
00:53:18,890 --> 00:53:20,320
I'm coming out. Ready?
724
00:53:22,530 --> 00:53:23,190
Seven out.
725
00:53:23,830 --> 00:53:25,060
God!
726
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:28,220
Nice roll.
727
00:53:28,570 --> 00:53:29,730
You did good.
728
00:53:31,070 --> 00:53:31,730
Thank you.
729
00:53:32,240 --> 00:53:33,500
Cash me in.
730
00:53:36,340 --> 00:53:39,330
Kid, you made me
a lot of money tonight.
731
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:40,910
Jilly from Philly.
732
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:42,840
Nick Pappagiorgio from Yuma.
733
00:53:43,010 --> 00:53:45,910
Nick Pappagiorgio from Yuma,
you like getting massaged?
734
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:47,240
By who?
735
00:53:47,420 --> 00:53:48,510
By me!
736
00:53:48,690 --> 00:53:51,180
Meet us in the spa at 10:00
tomorrow morning.
737
00:53:51,350 --> 00:53:54,260
Randy, this guy is with us.
You take care of him.
738
00:53:54,420 --> 00:53:58,190
We're so impressed with your play
we'd like you to stay here.
739
00:53:58,360 --> 00:53:59,260
Follow me.
740
00:54:02,700 --> 00:54:06,760
And if there's anything you need,
don't hesitate to call me.
741
00:54:07,270 --> 00:54:08,530
Thank you!
742
00:54:40,570 --> 00:54:42,090
Oh, my God!
743
00:54:48,450 --> 00:54:50,540
Card counting, Clark?
744
00:54:51,110 --> 00:54:52,210
Is that legal?
745
00:54:52,720 --> 00:54:54,210
Sharpens the player's edge.
746
00:54:56,720 --> 00:54:58,050
Here's the kids.
747
00:54:58,860 --> 00:55:01,190
What happened to you last night?
748
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:05,250
What are you having for breakfast?
749
00:55:05,430 --> 00:55:06,190
Coffee.
750
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:07,190
Three.
751
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:08,190
Four.
752
00:55:08,370 --> 00:55:09,020
Gang!
753
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:10,760
Don't shout, Daddy.
754
00:55:10,930 --> 00:55:14,770
I had an idea.
How about an "alone" day...
755
00:55:14,940 --> 00:55:18,930
...where each of us Griswolds
goes out and explores Las Vegas...
756
00:55:19,110 --> 00:55:20,270
...in their own way?
757
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,100
I don't think that's a good idea.
758
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:24,540
- Great.
- Love you.
759
00:55:24,710 --> 00:55:26,270
Be back at 5:00.
760
00:55:27,780 --> 00:55:29,550
You'll have a great time.
761
00:55:29,720 --> 00:55:30,710
Have fun.
762
00:56:03,850 --> 00:56:05,510
Payback time.
763
00:56:11,130 --> 00:56:13,030
$500.
764
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,790
You don't know when to quit.
765
00:56:16,270 --> 00:56:16,930
Chips.
766
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:19,130
Changing 500!
767
00:56:23,370 --> 00:56:24,860
Here's an idea.
768
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:29,310
You give me half the money
you're going to bet, we go out back...
769
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,380
...l'll kick you in the nuts
and we'll call it a day?
770
00:56:39,990 --> 00:56:41,480
Pappagiorgio...
771
00:56:41,660 --> 00:56:42,990
...enjoying the massage?
772
00:56:43,230 --> 00:56:45,490
I'm enjoying it, Jilly. Really.
773
00:56:45,660 --> 00:56:48,890
You know what your problem is?
You're a nervous guy.
774
00:56:49,730 --> 00:56:51,720
You must learn how to relax.
775
00:56:51,900 --> 00:56:54,060
You're right, Jilly, I do.
776
00:56:54,570 --> 00:56:56,230
Harder on the shoulders.
777
00:56:56,410 --> 00:56:58,240
That's it, kid.
778
00:56:58,410 --> 00:57:01,900
Now that you got that,
we must teach you how to dress.
779
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:10,250
Now aren't you a little slice of pie?
780
00:57:10,420 --> 00:57:12,250
Are you thinking of dancing?
781
00:57:13,260 --> 00:57:14,920
She's got a body for it.
782
00:57:15,090 --> 00:57:16,520
I do? Thanks.
783
00:57:16,690 --> 00:57:19,530
If you're thinking about it,
do it while you're young and foolish.
784
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:23,260
I'm going to college but hoping to do
volunteer work in the summer.
785
00:57:23,430 --> 00:57:25,700
Our prime years are few and fast.
786
00:57:25,870 --> 00:57:27,530
Would've, could've, should've.
787
00:57:28,770 --> 00:57:31,210
Show this girl something with a heel.
788
00:57:34,780 --> 00:57:35,710
Hit me!
789
00:57:37,380 --> 00:57:38,710
Yeah! Twenty!
790
00:57:41,380 --> 00:57:43,940
It's 20. It's a push.
791
00:57:44,390 --> 00:57:45,450
I didn't lose.
792
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:49,890
That's it, Griswold,
you are freaking dead!
793
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:52,550
I love you, kid.
794
00:58:25,500 --> 00:58:27,830
Outrageous. Where's the family?
795
00:58:28,430 --> 00:58:29,760
They're busy.
796
00:58:31,330 --> 00:58:34,000
Did I come at a bad time? Because...
797
00:58:34,170 --> 00:58:35,500
...I could just...
798
00:58:35,670 --> 00:58:40,110
A singer's body is his instrument and
I believe in keeping it finely tuned.
799
00:58:40,940 --> 00:58:43,170
Come in, let's have some fun.
800
00:58:48,790 --> 00:58:49,950
Blackjack.
801
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:51,450
Blackjack.
802
00:58:52,190 --> 00:58:53,620
Six.
803
00:59:10,710 --> 00:59:12,300
They're not bad.
804
00:59:12,810 --> 00:59:17,710
The boys aren't much to talk to, but if
you need a night away from your cat...
805
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:19,970
...they're more than fine.
806
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:00,250
What did you say?
807
01:00:00,590 --> 01:00:03,250
I said, "Blackjack!"
808
01:00:10,100 --> 01:00:12,190
Changing 1,600!
809
01:00:15,100 --> 01:00:16,540
Lunch was wonderful.
810
01:00:16,710 --> 01:00:18,940
I hope you enjoyed the company
as much as the food.
811
01:00:21,210 --> 01:00:23,540
Please, madam, chin up.
812
01:00:25,110 --> 01:00:26,210
You know...
813
01:00:26,380 --> 01:00:29,940
...l've always felt very blessed
by all the gifts I've been given.
814
01:00:31,390 --> 01:00:34,450
But after meeting you
I realize how truly alone I am.
815
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:38,550
But, Wayne, you have millions of fans.
816
01:00:38,900 --> 01:00:40,120
Please.
817
01:00:40,300 --> 01:00:41,890
They just love my talent.
818
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:45,230
I feel so many things right now.
819
01:00:45,470 --> 01:00:47,460
I wish I could spend my life with you.
820
01:00:49,570 --> 01:00:50,900
Well...
821
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:55,800
...we could turn the den into a guest
room, but what about your horses?
822
01:00:55,980 --> 01:00:59,420
Clark pretty much likes the garage
for the car and the lawn mowers.
823
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:07,480
You're too much.
824
01:01:08,590 --> 01:01:10,420
I have something for you.
825
01:01:20,940 --> 01:01:22,430
It's a lock of my hair.
826
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:26,770
Gosh!
827
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:30,180
It's getting late!
828
01:01:31,180 --> 01:01:32,610
I've got to go!
829
01:01:32,780 --> 01:01:34,340
But thank you.
830
01:01:35,790 --> 01:01:37,010
- It's been wonderful.
- Wait.
831
01:01:38,450 --> 01:01:41,450
If you have nothing to do later,
please come back!
832
01:01:41,620 --> 01:01:43,350
I'm making pasta!
833
01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:51,630
Come on, you think this sign's here
to hold down the table?
834
01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:56,040
What can I do with $5?
835
01:01:56,710 --> 01:01:58,140
I don't know.
836
01:01:58,540 --> 01:02:01,200
Buy a bullet and rent a gun?
837
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:08,780
See you.
838
01:02:08,950 --> 01:02:09,940
Have a good time.
839
01:02:19,460 --> 01:02:21,020
Good luck, sir.
840
01:02:22,130 --> 01:02:25,690
I had a fantastic "alone" day.
It was a great idea.
841
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:28,040
Where'd you get that stuff?
842
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:30,140
At the men's store.
843
01:02:31,980 --> 01:02:32,630
My God!
844
01:02:32,810 --> 01:02:34,640
Vickie took me to her stylist.
845
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:39,310
Did you know there were 92 muscles
in the human throat?
846
01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:43,250
All this time I thought I was
unhappy with you and Mom.
847
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:47,650
But I was dissatisfied with myself.
That's changed, thanks to Las Vegas!
848
01:02:48,060 --> 01:02:51,820
This is Larry, Kurt and Ira.
They're professional entertainers.
849
01:02:52,060 --> 01:02:52,890
Nice to meet you.
850
01:02:53,500 --> 01:02:54,900
You know what drives me crazy?
851
01:02:55,060 --> 01:02:56,550
The baccarat tables.
852
01:02:56,730 --> 01:03:00,000
Larry can bend his leg up
over his head. Want to see?
853
01:03:00,170 --> 01:03:01,000
You should.
854
01:03:01,170 --> 01:03:02,000
It's after-riding wear.
855
01:03:02,170 --> 01:03:05,500
If those guys weren't bust-outs,
you think they'd be home writing?
856
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:07,170
Come with me!
857
01:03:07,340 --> 01:03:08,330
Not you!
858
01:03:15,650 --> 01:03:18,950
I know we haven't seen a lot
of each other lately and that's okay...
859
01:03:19,020 --> 01:03:20,510
...but we're Griswolds.
860
01:03:20,690 --> 01:03:22,350
We're on vacation.
861
01:03:22,530 --> 01:03:25,590
And starting now, we're going
to have a great time.
862
01:03:25,860 --> 01:03:27,920
But, Dad, we're having a great time.
863
01:03:28,100 --> 01:03:30,590
My sister has the legs
of a thoroughbred.
864
01:03:30,770 --> 01:03:31,700
Am I right?
865
01:03:31,870 --> 01:03:32,860
Shut up.
866
01:03:33,370 --> 01:03:35,530
The point is, starting now...
867
01:03:35,710 --> 01:03:38,110
...we'll have a great time together!
868
01:03:38,270 --> 01:03:39,260
How?
869
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:41,440
How?
870
01:03:41,610 --> 01:03:42,770
Well...
871
01:03:42,980 --> 01:03:44,140
How?
872
01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:48,970
We could all...
873
01:03:49,150 --> 01:03:51,640
...sit on a bench, as a family...
874
01:03:51,820 --> 01:03:55,480
...and watch a Vegas sunset.
Wouldn't that be great?
875
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:04,090
We could count the bulbs
on the strip, Audrey.
876
01:04:04,730 --> 01:04:07,730
Larry's taking me to see
the world's largest thermometer.
877
01:04:10,410 --> 01:04:12,470
I got a thing happening downtown.
878
01:04:14,410 --> 01:04:15,900
I mean, you know...
879
01:04:21,420 --> 01:04:22,650
I know.
880
01:04:23,820 --> 01:04:26,580
We can get remarried. Right now.
881
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:30,820
There's a honeymoon slots tournament
over at the Golden Nugget. And guess?
882
01:04:30,990 --> 01:04:33,480
Newlyweds get in for free.
883
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:36,260
I've got news for you, Clark.
884
01:04:36,500 --> 01:04:38,260
I haven't said "yes" yet.
885
01:04:42,510 --> 01:04:43,770
If you're too busy...
886
01:04:43,940 --> 01:04:45,840
You hang on a minute!
887
01:04:46,010 --> 01:04:48,270
You brought us on a family vacation...
888
01:04:48,440 --> 01:04:52,280
...and we only see you on your way
in or out of the casino!
889
01:04:52,450 --> 01:04:53,440
I've invited you...
890
01:04:53,620 --> 01:04:56,020
You find the Clark Griswold
I married...
891
01:04:56,190 --> 01:04:58,780
...and tell him I'm at the Mirage!
892
01:04:58,960 --> 01:04:59,680
Come on.
893
01:05:02,290 --> 01:05:06,460
Don't worry about me! I got plenty
I can do on my own in Las Vegas!
894
01:05:15,570 --> 01:05:17,160
Which hand is it in?
895
01:05:19,540 --> 01:05:21,870
Who wants it now? Who wants it?
896
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:24,010
There you go, you heathens!
897
01:05:24,710 --> 01:05:26,710
Thanks for buying me dinner.
898
01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:29,720
Best $1.49 in town, Clark.
899
01:05:29,990 --> 01:05:32,720
Clark, this is all you can eat.
900
01:05:32,890 --> 01:05:34,720
We only need one plate.
901
01:05:44,530 --> 01:05:46,020
I need rolls.
902
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:47,860
I had that last time.
903
01:05:48,040 --> 01:05:49,200
Fresh broccoli.
904
01:05:51,110 --> 01:05:51,940
Bless you.
905
01:05:52,110 --> 01:05:53,270
Thank you.
906
01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:56,610
Maybe I'll just replace these
and take a carrot.
907
01:05:56,780 --> 01:05:58,440
The best macaroni.
908
01:05:58,780 --> 01:06:01,380
- That's good.
- No, let's get a little more.
909
01:06:03,290 --> 01:06:05,450
Some of this spaghetti bolognese here.
910
01:06:06,220 --> 01:06:08,710
You're lucky you came on Italian night.
911
01:06:09,790 --> 01:06:10,620
That stuff...
912
01:06:11,130 --> 01:06:13,120
...will knock your socks off.
913
01:06:13,300 --> 01:06:15,290
This doesn't look like chicken.
914
01:06:15,630 --> 01:06:17,290
Oh, you're right.
915
01:06:17,470 --> 01:06:20,230
This isn't chicken. This is chicken.
916
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:21,560
Want some?
917
01:06:22,570 --> 01:06:25,630
Eddie, I think I'll just be over
by the Saltines.
918
01:06:25,810 --> 01:06:28,140
- Here, go ahead.
- Go get us a table.
919
01:06:30,250 --> 01:06:32,410
We'll have some...
920
01:06:32,580 --> 01:06:33,980
...of the yellow.
921
01:06:35,150 --> 01:06:37,590
And don't get cheap on me.
922
01:06:45,330 --> 01:06:48,160
This bread pudding's
extra runny tonight.
923
01:06:48,330 --> 01:06:51,660
Eddie, when you look at me,
what do you see?
924
01:06:59,110 --> 01:07:00,770
Time's up, Eddie.
925
01:07:01,810 --> 01:07:03,470
I'll tell you what you see.
926
01:07:03,750 --> 01:07:05,010
You see a man...
927
01:07:05,110 --> 01:07:09,020
...whose family counted on him
to give them the best vacation ever.
928
01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:11,950
And I can't do it. Because...
929
01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:15,690
You have something on your...
930
01:07:18,690 --> 01:07:19,460
Off?
931
01:07:19,700 --> 01:07:21,130
You got it.
932
01:07:22,730 --> 01:07:25,390
I've gambled away more money
than you'll ever understand.
933
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:27,400
Try me.
934
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:34,810
$22,600.
935
01:07:34,980 --> 01:07:35,640
God!
936
01:07:36,550 --> 01:07:37,640
Oh, God!
937
01:07:37,810 --> 01:07:39,210
Oh, God!
938
01:07:39,650 --> 01:07:41,210
Oh, God!
939
01:07:43,220 --> 01:07:44,550
- Oh, God!
- Please!
940
01:07:49,890 --> 01:07:52,160
I don't know what to tell Ellen.
941
01:07:54,030 --> 01:07:57,800
If I could just get that money back,
I could turn it all around.
942
01:08:00,140 --> 01:08:04,040
You've been so good to Catherine
and me through the years.
943
01:08:04,210 --> 01:08:05,870
I hate to see you down.
944
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:08,200
I've got some...
945
01:08:20,890 --> 01:08:23,150
...money stashed away and...
946
01:08:23,830 --> 01:08:27,990
...it'd be my honor to help you
in your time of need.
947
01:08:29,070 --> 01:08:30,330
You mean it?
948
01:08:31,500 --> 01:08:33,230
There's just one problem.
949
01:08:34,400 --> 01:08:36,560
I forgot where I buried it.
950
01:08:38,910 --> 01:08:41,070
Is it safe to be digging like this?
951
01:08:42,180 --> 01:08:44,240
Just watch out for the scorpions.
952
01:08:53,190 --> 01:08:55,750
I got money buried all over this yard.
953
01:08:57,590 --> 01:09:00,530
I used to have quite a little system
for finding it.
954
01:09:00,700 --> 01:09:02,530
Wait, here's something.
955
01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:06,390
$28!
956
01:09:09,240 --> 01:09:10,070
Got one.
957
01:09:10,240 --> 01:09:11,640
Got one. Got one.
958
01:09:16,480 --> 01:09:17,470
Six bucks.
959
01:09:17,650 --> 01:09:21,580
Yuban coffee. You can sprinkle
that stuff on anything.
960
01:09:21,750 --> 01:09:26,150
Ice cream, mashed potatoes, or eat it
right out of the can for a pick-me-up.
961
01:09:28,660 --> 01:09:30,150
Oh, my God.
962
01:09:30,660 --> 01:09:32,990
There must be over $100 in here.
963
01:09:33,830 --> 01:09:36,920
Yeah, that's from when I sold
one of my kidneys.
964
01:09:37,170 --> 01:09:39,660
We didn't need the cash
at the time but...
965
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:42,600
...I figured with all the advances
in modern medicine...
966
01:09:42,770 --> 01:09:46,000
...I should sell it while somebody
still wanted to buy it.
967
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:47,940
The smartest thing I ever did.
968
01:09:49,110 --> 01:09:51,840
Why do you have all this money
buried in the ground?
969
01:09:52,950 --> 01:09:54,940
For a rainy day.
970
01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:58,180
We don't get many of those
in the desert.
971
01:10:03,290 --> 01:10:05,020
Where's the nearest casino?
972
01:10:05,630 --> 01:10:07,460
Hello, room service.
973
01:10:07,630 --> 01:10:09,960
I'd like the Crab Rangoon...
974
01:10:10,300 --> 01:10:11,960
...chicken fingers...
975
01:10:12,470 --> 01:10:14,370
...the Jackpot Burger...
976
01:10:15,370 --> 01:10:17,860
...and the Tropical Banana Torte.
977
01:10:20,540 --> 01:10:21,530
No.
978
01:10:21,980 --> 01:10:23,470
Cancel that.
979
01:10:23,810 --> 01:10:25,300
I'm going out.
980
01:10:25,820 --> 01:10:27,310
I must warn you.
981
01:10:27,480 --> 01:10:31,980
They don't play the same games
here as at them regular casinos.
982
01:10:34,820 --> 01:10:36,880
Eddie, this place is great.
983
01:10:37,490 --> 01:10:39,390
They don't play this at the Mirage.
984
01:10:40,230 --> 01:10:42,490
Pick a number? I'm great at that.
985
01:10:43,070 --> 01:10:44,500
Coin toss?
986
01:10:44,670 --> 01:10:46,000
These are my games.
987
01:10:46,170 --> 01:10:47,500
Give me 20 bucks.
988
01:10:47,670 --> 01:10:48,730
War!
989
01:10:48,900 --> 01:10:51,500
Russ and I play this all the time.
990
01:10:52,240 --> 01:10:53,170
I'm in.
991
01:10:53,340 --> 01:10:54,570
Here we go.
992
01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:56,070
Mine.
993
01:10:56,580 --> 01:10:58,170
That's fast.
994
01:10:58,350 --> 01:10:59,680
Give me another 20.
995
01:11:02,750 --> 01:11:03,680
War, bet again.
996
01:11:08,260 --> 01:11:09,520
Mine again.
997
01:11:09,860 --> 01:11:12,420
Maybe you should spread it around...
998
01:11:12,700 --> 01:11:14,930
...not have all your fun at one table.
999
01:11:20,270 --> 01:11:22,530
Dealer has rock. Pay paper.
1000
01:11:25,770 --> 01:11:26,430
Call it.
1001
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:30,280
What say we go home and
bury what's left of my money?
1002
01:11:30,450 --> 01:11:31,380
Heads.
1003
01:11:32,620 --> 01:11:34,380
I'm sorry, it's tails.
1004
01:11:34,950 --> 01:11:36,380
Almost.
1005
01:11:47,130 --> 01:11:50,120
No, give me that! Give me that!
1006
01:11:50,300 --> 01:11:53,290
He cheated, Eddie!
He switched them, I saw it!
1007
01:12:08,680 --> 01:12:09,340
Four.
1008
01:12:09,420 --> 01:12:10,350
Seven.
1009
01:12:13,490 --> 01:12:15,150
What am I doing?
1010
01:12:16,490 --> 01:12:19,090
I need to go someplace
where a man can think.
1011
01:12:19,930 --> 01:12:21,590
I wouldn't do that here.
1012
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:25,330
These stalls are awfully dirty
and they're backed up.
1013
01:12:26,770 --> 01:12:28,430
I need to be alone.
1014
01:12:30,840 --> 01:12:32,170
I see.
1015
01:12:32,340 --> 01:12:33,430
Want me to come?
1016
01:12:35,180 --> 01:12:36,770
All right. Come on.
1017
01:12:39,480 --> 01:12:40,880
Come on, Clark.
1018
01:12:41,050 --> 01:12:45,320
The night is young. They're giving away
free sandwiches at the blood bank.
1019
01:12:45,490 --> 01:12:47,720
I'm not worthy of a sandwich.
1020
01:12:47,890 --> 01:12:50,880
I'm not a father, I'm not a husband,
I'm nothing!
1021
01:12:51,060 --> 01:12:54,500
You may feel like nothing now,
but look on the bright side.
1022
01:12:54,660 --> 01:12:58,220
You used to be something.
Nobody can take that away from you.
1023
01:12:59,840 --> 01:13:01,170
Good-bye, Ellen.
1024
01:13:01,670 --> 01:13:04,500
I'm sure you'll be happy
with Wayne Newton.
1025
01:13:05,740 --> 01:13:07,400
Where am I going to go?
1026
01:13:07,580 --> 01:13:10,240
You can live with us
right here in Vegas.
1027
01:13:10,410 --> 01:13:11,900
We'll dig you a room.
1028
01:13:12,080 --> 01:13:14,170
And Rusty and poor Audrey...
1029
01:13:14,350 --> 01:13:16,680
At night you can sit outside...
1030
01:13:16,850 --> 01:13:20,020
...and you can tell us how much
more good you used to have it.
1031
01:13:20,260 --> 01:13:23,090
Look at all these happy families.
1032
01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:25,420
Where did I go wrong?
1033
01:13:29,700 --> 01:13:32,360
Without my family,
there is no Clark Griswold.
1034
01:13:32,530 --> 01:13:34,430
We can go into business.
1035
01:13:34,600 --> 01:13:37,270
We can raise more snakes,
open a petting zoo.
1036
01:13:37,440 --> 01:13:39,430
Yeah, that's what we could do.
1037
01:13:39,610 --> 01:13:42,540
We could have a lot of happy,
wonderful times.
1038
01:13:42,880 --> 01:13:44,710
We'll get your money back.
1039
01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:49,110
I'm not worried about my money.
1040
01:13:49,720 --> 01:13:51,550
I don't care about it.
1041
01:13:52,620 --> 01:13:54,110
I must get my family back!
1042
01:13:54,790 --> 01:13:56,450
What about my money?
1043
01:13:56,630 --> 01:13:58,460
Stay here, I'll be back.
1044
01:14:00,560 --> 01:14:01,890
Police, emergency.
1045
01:14:06,970 --> 01:14:08,400
Open up!
1046
01:14:10,010 --> 01:14:11,670
Don't be alarmed, he's with me.
1047
01:14:18,110 --> 01:14:19,670
Say: "Cheese."
1048
01:14:30,360 --> 01:14:32,290
It's Dean Martin's recipe.
1049
01:14:32,460 --> 01:14:34,360
I always make too much.
1050
01:14:34,800 --> 01:14:37,130
Thank you for having me for dinner.
1051
01:14:39,540 --> 01:14:41,530
There's something I must tell you.
1052
01:14:43,210 --> 01:14:44,190
Oh, no.
1053
01:14:45,540 --> 01:14:46,970
Wayne, please, don't.
1054
01:14:47,210 --> 01:14:49,640
I've always been a moral man.
1055
01:14:50,880 --> 01:14:54,650
But my resolve is melting
in the light of your smile.
1056
01:14:54,980 --> 01:14:57,380
Maybe you're hungry. More pasta?
1057
01:14:57,550 --> 01:14:58,490
There's Treasure Island.
1058
01:14:58,650 --> 01:15:00,710
There's Harrah's. There's the Mirage.
1059
01:15:00,890 --> 01:15:02,050
Next, Wayne Newton's house.
1060
01:15:05,230 --> 01:15:06,820
Wayne, please.
1061
01:15:07,900 --> 01:15:08,890
Please.
1062
01:15:17,740 --> 01:15:19,670
Don't worry, I'm here.
1063
01:15:19,840 --> 01:15:21,240
Get out of my way.
1064
01:15:21,510 --> 01:15:23,410
Hands off my wife!
1065
01:15:27,420 --> 01:15:29,850
Clark, it's not the way it looks.
1066
01:15:30,020 --> 01:15:31,420
We're having pasta.
1067
01:15:32,490 --> 01:15:33,420
I've been a fool.
1068
01:15:33,590 --> 01:15:37,860
And not a loveable fool who clowns
for the delight of children.
1069
01:15:38,760 --> 01:15:40,350
But a fool who's...
1070
01:15:40,600 --> 01:15:42,260
...only fooling himself.
1071
01:15:44,930 --> 01:15:46,090
You're back.
1072
01:15:46,270 --> 01:15:48,930
You have got to be kidding me.
1073
01:15:49,100 --> 01:15:51,370
Why don't you go sing something?
1074
01:15:52,540 --> 01:15:55,700
I've learned that
a family vacation only works...
1075
01:15:55,880 --> 01:15:59,370
...when you're with your family.
You and Russ and...
1076
01:15:59,550 --> 01:16:00,610
Audrey.
1077
01:16:00,780 --> 01:16:01,940
Audrey.
1078
01:16:02,120 --> 01:16:03,280
You're my family.
1079
01:16:04,050 --> 01:16:08,720
The most important thing is for us to
get back together before it's too late.
1080
01:16:09,430 --> 01:16:10,410
What do you say?
1081
01:16:11,090 --> 01:16:12,250
I'm with you.
1082
01:16:12,930 --> 01:16:14,160
Let's go get our kids.
1083
01:16:20,700 --> 01:16:22,190
- Is there a charge?
- No, sir.
1084
01:16:22,370 --> 01:16:23,360
Park it.
1085
01:16:28,380 --> 01:16:29,870
Have you seen him?
1086
01:16:30,050 --> 01:16:31,210
Mr. Pappagiorgio.
1087
01:16:31,380 --> 01:16:33,710
- Lanai Six.
- He's my son.
1088
01:16:33,950 --> 01:16:36,040
Mr. Pappagiorgio?
1089
01:16:36,550 --> 01:16:37,950
Let's go.
1090
01:16:38,450 --> 01:16:40,890
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
1091
01:16:47,130 --> 01:16:48,620
Clark, do something.
1092
01:16:48,800 --> 01:16:49,790
Look out!
1093
01:17:00,140 --> 01:17:02,910
Oh, my little baby boy!
1094
01:17:03,580 --> 01:17:06,140
Excuse me. Excuse me!
1095
01:17:15,160 --> 01:17:16,320
Am I right?
1096
01:17:16,790 --> 01:17:17,590
Am I?
1097
01:17:21,860 --> 01:17:24,770
So I says to him, I said,
"Get your own monkey."
1098
01:17:24,930 --> 01:17:27,270
Oh, my Lord! Rusty!
1099
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:30,490
You must be lost.
This is Mr. Pappagiorgio.
1100
01:17:30,670 --> 01:17:33,660
His name is not Pappagiorgio,
he's Rusty Griswold!
1101
01:17:33,840 --> 01:17:36,000
He's a "C plus" student.
Now, out of the pool!
1102
01:17:36,180 --> 01:17:37,610
Let's go, young man!
1103
01:17:37,780 --> 01:17:39,610
Now! Get dressed!
1104
01:17:44,120 --> 01:17:46,950
I'm looking for this underage kid
named Pappagiorgio.
1105
01:17:47,120 --> 01:17:49,780
Yes, he stole my wallet.
He's back there.
1106
01:17:51,790 --> 01:17:52,690
Where's your sister?
1107
01:17:52,860 --> 01:17:54,950
She's with Vickie somewhere.
1108
01:17:55,130 --> 01:17:56,360
Where's Vickie?
1109
01:18:09,550 --> 01:18:12,380
- Mr. Pappagiorgio, your usual table?
- Not tonight.
1110
01:18:12,550 --> 01:18:14,540
You are in deep trouble, my friend.
1111
01:18:15,380 --> 01:18:16,820
Excuse me.
1112
01:18:26,660 --> 01:18:28,490
Hey, everybody!
1113
01:18:28,660 --> 01:18:30,060
Where's Audrey?
1114
01:18:33,500 --> 01:18:34,830
Oh, my God!
1115
01:18:38,170 --> 01:18:39,400
Our baby!
1116
01:18:39,580 --> 01:18:42,340
Hang on, honey,
Daddy's coming to get you!
1117
01:18:44,580 --> 01:18:45,510
Move!
1118
01:18:46,350 --> 01:18:48,080
What do you think you're doing?
1119
01:18:48,250 --> 01:18:50,580
You told me to get a summer job!
1120
01:18:50,850 --> 01:18:54,250
Ten years of tap dancing lessons
and this is how you repay me?
1121
01:18:54,420 --> 01:18:55,910
Let's go!
1122
01:18:56,090 --> 01:18:58,580
Excuse me! Excuse me!
1123
01:18:59,260 --> 01:19:01,020
Come on, let's go.
1124
01:19:11,410 --> 01:19:14,600
I don't know what I was thinking.
Let's go home now.
1125
01:19:14,710 --> 01:19:15,770
When are we going?
1126
01:19:15,940 --> 01:19:18,040
Let's quit while we're ahead.
1127
01:19:18,210 --> 01:19:20,610
Ahead or behind, what does it matter?
1128
01:19:21,380 --> 01:19:23,280
We still have each other.
1129
01:19:25,620 --> 01:19:28,720
When we get home, even though
I lost most of our money...
1130
01:19:28,890 --> 01:19:30,120
Wait a minute.
1131
01:19:30,460 --> 01:19:32,790
"I've lost most of our money"?
1132
01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:35,460
How much did you lose?
1133
01:19:36,300 --> 01:19:38,730
Well, with the checks
and the credit cards...
1134
01:19:38,900 --> 01:19:42,130
...some trips to the ATM and
the plane tickets I cashed in...
1135
01:19:42,640 --> 01:19:43,400
I don't know...
1136
01:19:43,910 --> 01:19:47,310
$22,000, $23,000.
1137
01:19:47,480 --> 01:19:48,470
Somewhere in there.
1138
01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:50,570
What about my tuition?
1139
01:19:50,750 --> 01:19:51,910
And my snowboard?
1140
01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:53,740
We still have our love.
1141
01:19:55,150 --> 01:19:57,410
That's what I've come to realize.
1142
01:19:57,590 --> 01:20:01,080
Clark, how much money
do you have right now?
1143
01:20:03,430 --> 01:20:04,320
I'm broke.
1144
01:20:05,660 --> 01:20:06,490
Rusty?
1145
01:20:06,660 --> 01:20:09,760
I spent it all.
Having an entourage is expensive.
1146
01:20:10,100 --> 01:20:11,260
Audrey?
1147
01:20:11,430 --> 01:20:12,920
No pockets.
1148
01:20:15,840 --> 01:20:17,500
I've got...
1149
01:20:19,010 --> 01:20:20,000
...$2.
1150
01:20:23,450 --> 01:20:25,350
Get our money back.
1151
01:20:31,190 --> 01:20:32,280
There.
1152
01:20:36,190 --> 01:20:38,460
This is not the way to do this.
1153
01:20:38,630 --> 01:20:41,360
Can't we just get your parents
to wire us some money?
1154
01:20:43,630 --> 01:20:47,360
Oh, keno. This is easy.
I saw this on TV.
1155
01:20:54,480 --> 01:20:57,310
Okay, you've got to pick ten numbers.
1156
01:20:57,550 --> 01:21:00,210
We must play the kids' birthdays.
Sixteen, seven.
1157
01:21:00,380 --> 01:21:02,150
And Dad's football number, 44.
1158
01:21:10,490 --> 01:21:12,980
Excuse me, is that your family?
1159
01:21:14,560 --> 01:21:15,550
You're lucky man.
1160
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:17,660
Luckiest guy on earth.
1161
01:21:18,730 --> 01:21:20,220
The grandparent's anniversary.
1162
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:23,160
I never got married.
1163
01:21:23,340 --> 01:21:25,200
I was afraid to take the risk.
1164
01:21:26,270 --> 01:21:27,370
Beautiful children.
1165
01:21:28,280 --> 01:21:31,210
Oh, thank you. We're very blessed.
1166
01:21:31,950 --> 01:21:33,880
This thing is money, money.
1167
01:21:34,050 --> 01:21:35,540
Let me tell you something.
1168
01:21:35,720 --> 01:21:36,810
Money isn't everything.
1169
01:21:37,750 --> 01:21:39,350
I sit here alone...
1170
01:21:39,550 --> 01:21:40,450
...nobody cares.
1171
01:21:40,790 --> 01:21:43,780
If I win, I have nobody
to share it with.
1172
01:21:46,560 --> 01:21:48,120
You have your health.
1173
01:21:48,300 --> 01:21:49,960
It seems you have a hobby.
1174
01:21:50,130 --> 01:21:52,620
Yeah, a hobby I got. My health?
1175
01:21:53,740 --> 01:21:56,140
If I had a family,
I'd want it like yours.
1176
01:22:00,410 --> 01:22:03,310
Tonight, consider yourself
part of our family.
1177
01:22:05,150 --> 01:22:06,310
I'll take you up on it.
1178
01:22:07,580 --> 01:22:09,310
Really, thank you.
1179
01:22:09,480 --> 01:22:10,420
Nice of you.
1180
01:22:10,590 --> 01:22:11,240
Good luck.
1181
01:22:11,420 --> 01:22:13,320
The game's almost starting.
1182
01:22:17,730 --> 01:22:18,720
Seven.
1183
01:22:19,390 --> 01:22:20,620
It's seven.
1184
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:22,730
It's Audrey's birthday!
1185
01:22:23,130 --> 01:22:24,890
We're going to do it!
1186
01:22:25,070 --> 01:22:26,290
Ten.
1187
01:22:30,640 --> 01:22:31,400
Fourteen.
1188
01:22:32,640 --> 01:22:33,570
Doesn't matter.
1189
01:22:33,980 --> 01:22:36,910
Even eight matches wins $15,500.
1190
01:22:37,410 --> 01:22:38,640
Twenty-two.
1191
01:22:41,420 --> 01:22:42,470
Thirty-three.
1192
01:22:46,250 --> 01:22:47,080
Eighty.
1193
01:23:01,500 --> 01:23:03,330
Your final number, 54.
1194
01:23:13,180 --> 01:23:14,270
I won!
1195
01:23:14,450 --> 01:23:16,210
I won! I won!
1196
01:23:16,820 --> 01:23:17,980
I won!
1197
01:23:19,820 --> 01:23:21,150
I won!
1198
01:23:21,320 --> 01:23:22,380
I won!
1199
01:23:23,290 --> 01:23:27,060
All the years I've waited for this!
I've been coming in here for years!
1200
01:23:27,230 --> 01:23:30,720
I've never won, never won once,
and now I won!
1201
01:23:30,900 --> 01:23:35,560
The money is mine. I have the money,
the money is mine. I got it!
1202
01:23:35,740 --> 01:23:39,000
For the first time, I have the mo...
1203
01:23:46,250 --> 01:23:47,410
Sir...
1204
01:23:47,920 --> 01:23:48,750
...are you okay?
1205
01:23:53,920 --> 01:23:55,580
Go get someone.
1206
01:23:58,190 --> 01:23:59,180
Sir.
1207
01:24:03,430 --> 01:24:04,760
Oh, my God.
1208
01:24:05,530 --> 01:24:06,590
I won!
1209
01:24:06,770 --> 01:24:09,260
I won the money! I won!
1210
01:24:09,600 --> 01:24:10,940
Did you hear me?
1211
01:24:11,010 --> 01:24:13,000
It's okay. It's here, right here.
1212
01:24:13,170 --> 01:24:15,730
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...
1213
01:24:16,240 --> 01:24:17,840
That's wonderful.
1214
01:24:21,850 --> 01:24:23,250
That's wonderful.
1215
01:25:01,120 --> 01:25:02,450
What did he say?
1216
01:25:03,290 --> 01:25:04,780
He said, "Take the ticket."
1217
01:25:06,900 --> 01:25:09,300
He said, "Take the ticket"?
1218
01:25:09,630 --> 01:25:11,220
I think he did.
1219
01:25:19,640 --> 01:25:20,900
He's gone.
1220
01:25:21,310 --> 01:25:22,740
There was nothing you could do.
1221
01:25:23,310 --> 01:25:24,640
We don't know his name.
1222
01:25:24,910 --> 01:25:28,580
He was Mr. Ellis.
The loneliest guy I ever saw.
1223
01:25:28,750 --> 01:25:32,410
He would've given anything to have
someone sit with him and be kind.
1224
01:25:44,670 --> 01:25:46,100
Jeez.
1225
01:26:20,700 --> 01:26:24,970
I hope you kids have learned something
about the dangers of gambling.
1226
01:26:25,170 --> 01:26:27,570
No, Sparklett,
don't blame the gambling.
1227
01:26:27,840 --> 01:26:30,170
Gambling is what made America great.
1228
01:26:30,410 --> 01:26:31,740
You see, kids...
1229
01:26:32,180 --> 01:26:36,080
...when Columbus set sail
on a little rickety boat...
1230
01:26:36,250 --> 01:26:40,690
...and let it ride all the way
to the New World, it was a gamble.
1231
01:26:41,260 --> 01:26:42,920
Ben Franklin, Thomas Edison...
1232
01:26:43,530 --> 01:26:45,520
...Albert Einstein, all gamblers.
1233
01:26:45,860 --> 01:26:47,260
Wasn't Einstein German?
1234
01:26:47,530 --> 01:26:49,260
Hard to tell from his accent.
1235
01:26:49,700 --> 01:26:51,360
But I do know one thing.
1236
01:26:51,770 --> 01:26:54,200
When a beautiful, young co-ed...
1237
01:26:54,370 --> 01:26:57,700
...took a chance on a gangly boy
of a man named Clark...
1238
01:26:58,270 --> 01:27:00,430
...she was taking a gamble, too.
1239
01:27:06,710 --> 01:27:09,710
Ellen Priscilla Ruth Smith Griswold...
1240
01:27:14,120 --> 01:27:16,560
...will you remarry me?
1241
01:27:29,470 --> 01:27:32,440
Ellen Griswold, do you promise
to love and honor Clark...
1242
01:27:32,510 --> 01:27:34,070
...for as long as you live?
1243
01:27:36,140 --> 01:27:37,910
Oh, God!
1244
01:27:41,480 --> 01:27:42,250
I do.
1245
01:27:42,420 --> 01:27:44,480
Clark Griswold...
1246
01:27:44,750 --> 01:27:47,310
I love you, Eddie.
1247
01:27:49,590 --> 01:27:53,580
Do you promise to love and honor Ellen
for as long as you both shall live?
1248
01:27:54,260 --> 01:27:55,090
I do.
1249
01:27:55,400 --> 01:27:59,460
I don't care if you ruined my life,
I love you!
1250
01:28:00,270 --> 01:28:02,600
By the power vested in me...
1251
01:28:02,770 --> 01:28:07,500
...by the Las Vegas Entertainers'
Association, I pronounce you married.
1252
01:28:07,680 --> 01:28:09,270
You may kiss the bride.
1253
01:28:30,530 --> 01:28:32,020
This is for you.
1254
01:28:32,970 --> 01:28:35,630
Clark, were did all this come from?
1255
01:28:36,300 --> 01:28:39,470
We were very fortunate last night,
Eddie, and...
1256
01:28:39,640 --> 01:28:43,300
I think we Griswolds learned
something on this vacation.
1257
01:28:43,480 --> 01:28:46,470
And that is that it's not
what you have but...
1258
01:28:46,650 --> 01:28:48,810
...who you have to share it with.
1259
01:28:49,220 --> 01:28:50,650
In a minute, Russ.
1260
01:28:50,820 --> 01:28:55,050
The promise of material possessions
can often blind one...
1261
01:28:55,220 --> 01:28:56,820
What is it, Russ?
1262
01:28:56,990 --> 01:28:58,720
Those four cars over there...
1263
01:29:00,560 --> 01:29:01,820
...they're mine.
1264
01:29:03,900 --> 01:29:06,160
What do you mean? They're yours?
1265
01:29:10,910 --> 01:29:12,400
Where did they come from?
1266
01:29:12,570 --> 01:29:14,570
Four slot machines.
1267
01:29:14,740 --> 01:29:17,910
I put a dollar in and got a car.
I put a dollar in and got a car.
1268
01:29:18,080 --> 01:29:20,170
Yeah, yeah, I think I get it.
1269
01:29:21,020 --> 01:29:22,000
Give me the keys.
1270
01:29:30,330 --> 01:29:32,190
Ellen, drive the red one.
1271
01:29:32,530 --> 01:29:34,360
You take the white one.
1272
01:29:34,530 --> 01:29:37,760
You take the Mustang.
And I'll take that big black thing.
1273
01:29:37,930 --> 01:29:39,870
After you, Mr. Pappagiorgio.
1274
01:29:40,030 --> 01:29:41,190
- Bye, Eddie.
- Bye, Clark.
1275
01:29:47,610 --> 01:29:49,540
Bye, y'all!
1276
01:29:49,710 --> 01:29:51,270
Drive carefully!
1277
01:29:51,450 --> 01:29:53,110
Have a good trip!86322
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