All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 06x13 - The Bloom Is Off the Rose.

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road
and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidante

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see the biggest
gift would be from me

♪ And the card attached
would say

♪ "Thank you
for being a friend" ♪

(woman on radio) Thank you, Jack.
I'm Dr. Kelly.

We're going to be talking about mothers
and daughters, the dark side.

And we're ready for
our first call. Hello?

Hi, you're on the air
with Dr. Kelly.

I need your first name only.
My name is Cher.

And your problem, Cher?

I have a 55-year-old daughter
named Dorothy, Dorothy Zbornak.

She's got problems.

First names only, please.
I told you, it's Cher.

Zbornak. You said Dorothy Zbornak.
Oh, sorry.

So what's wrong
with this Dorothy Zbornak?

She's still living home,
and she's cramping my style.

Have you done anything
in a positive direction

to encourage separation?

When I hear her coming, I hide.

Uh, gotta go.

Morning, Ma.
Good morning, Pussycat.

(♪ humming)

Blanche, honey, are you OK?

Never better. Why?

I've just never seen you
do anything domestic.

Dorothy, I've done the laundry
thousands of times.

Oh, by the way,
we're out of ble-ach.

Blanche, you dropped these.
Oh, thanks.

Men's underwear?

Getting a little misty,
are you, Pussycat?

I don't believe it.

Blanche Devereaux
doing laundry for a man?

Not just any man.
Rex Huntington. Ohh...

Rex Huntington?

Isn't he the guy who
stood you up last week?

Yeah, he did,
but I happen to like the man,

so I'm giving him
a second chance.

That was his second chance.
He stood you up the week before that.

You're enjoying this,
aren't you, Dorothy?

Oh, yeah.

Look, Rex and I have had
lots of nice dates together.

Maybe he's
a little unpredictable,

but that's what makes him
so exciting.

That and... these.

I wish Miles
was more unpredictable.

I know where I'm going
every night.

Miles and I are in such a rut.

It was never like that
with Charlie.

You want to talk about a rut, try spending
three nights in a row with this one.

Ma, I thought you liked the
lunar landing jigsaw puzzle.

Sure, Pussycat. It makes whatever
time I have left seem so much longer.

I hate to admit it,

but my relationship with Miles
is really getting boring.

We even make love the same.

How?

Well, first he says, "Let's
go watch TV in the bedroom."

And then I think, "Wait, he doesn't
have a TV in the bedroom."

And then he says, "Come lie down.
I won't try anything."

And then we have four hours
of the most boring sex

you've ever had in your life.

Four hours?

I guess it could take less

if I stopped playing
hard to get.

Ma, you you put
Buzz Aldrin's head

on Neil Armstrong's body.

I did?
Yes, Ma, you did.

I'm so ashamed.

I wouldn't blame you if you sent me to bed.
Now, right now.

Look, Ma, it's important to be accurate.
Now look at the box.

Hey, Pussycat, it says here,
"From ages 8 to 80."

I'm out. I'm out.

Come on, Ma.

Hi, Dorothy, Sophia.

You kids have fun tonight?

Oh, did we ever.

There's this sewing shop
on Fourth Street.

In the back they've got a thimble
museum I've wanted to go to.

You could put in a thimble what
most people know about thimbles.

(laughing loudly)

Well, no, that's not mine.

They tell that one
down at the thimble museum.

You actually had a good time
at a thimble museum?

It was sew-sew.

No, again, that was not mine.

They sell bumper stickers
out of the thimble museum.

So, Rose, how 'bout tomorrow night?
Hmm? Dinner at the usual?

And, you know, uh, we've been putting
off that trip to Zippertown.

Do you think we'll have time
after dinner?

Well, Zippertown
is always open.

I'm sorr- That was mine.
Just now, I swear.

Good night, Rose.

"Always open."
(laughs)

Two hours of learning
about thimbles

from foreign lands.

I couldn't wait
to give the headset back.

Look, Rose,
have you talked to Miles?

I think this is just who he is.

I don't think I was ever bored
for one day

when I was with Charlie.

He had a theory - "Even a trip
to the bank can be exciting

if you wear a ski mask."

He would say that often?

Almost as often as he'd say, "Don't shoot. It's me
- Charlie Nylund."

(sighs)

What's the problem? Oh, Rex Huntington.
That's the problem.

It's 10:00,
and I've been stood up again.

I feel totally unattractive,
undesirable and ignored.

Oh, Dorothy,
you explain it to 'em.

Well, Blanche feels the way
any one of us would feel

if we were stood up
three times.

(chuckles) Three whole times.

Three in a row. Ha-ha-ha.
Count 'em - 1, 2...

Dorothy!

Oh, I'm sorry, Blanche.

Come on, honey, sit down.
Now, it's not so bad.

Do what the rest of us do.

Sure, our dance cards
may not be filled,

but at least we can face
the lonely nights together.

We're like sisters.

You're right.

Sisters united in the battle
against the opposite sex.

(doorbell rings)
See you later, sisters.

It's date time.

Only first, I'm gonna let that
man know just how I feel.

Rex Huntington,
where ha-

Looks like he knows
how she feels.

You wait right here. I'll get my purse.
I won't be a minute.

Don't bother. It's too late to go out.
We're staying here?

I wish I could. I just came by
to give my favorite girl a kiss.

And since
I've already done that,

I'll just take my laundry
and go home.

Come on, it's not too late
to go out.

I mean, you kept me waiting
for hours.

No, no, no.
I'm sorry, baby. I'm tired.

But I'm all dressed up, and I'm
wearing your favorite perfume.

Hey, I said it was too late
to go out.

I guess you think
I come over here to get nagged.

And to get your laundry.
Don't forget your laundry.

Well, Rex...

Look, I guess I do owe you an apology.
Yes, I think you do.

I got a better idea.
Tomorrow night, I'm taking you out.

I'll call you tomorrow,
and we'll decide where.

We'll have a great time. OK?
OK.

Ooh.

So that's a typical date
with Blanche.

I mean, after you cut out
all the dirty parts.

You know what the joke going around the
teachers' lounge was today, Ma? Me.

I know that joke.

Everybody heard on the radio that
some anonymous "Ma" was complaining

that her dependent daughter Dorothy
doesn't have a life of her own.

What, you think you're
the only gray-haired

spinster substitute teacher
named Dorothy

wasting her life away in Miami?

I'm sorry, Sophia,
but in Dorothy's defense,

that sure does sound
a lot like her.

(♪ jazz on radio)

Hello, Rose.
Oh, hi, Miles.

I was just listening to a song
Charlie and I used to dance to.

We've danced to it, too.

Not around a campfire,
hoping for rain.

Look, Rose...

Rose, we gotta talk.

Are things between us
getting a little dull?

Oh, let's face it.

You and I are Yawn City,
population - two.

Miles, do you love me?

Well, of course I do.

How much?

Well, I don't know.
Lots.

Enough to jump
out of an airplane?

Well, sure, sure.

Enough to climb
the highest mountain,

swim the widest river,
jump out of an airplane.

So, what do you say?
Dinner, huh?

Then we'll over to my place
and watch some TV.

I won't try anything, I swear.

I have made arrangements
for us tomorrow.

Oh? What arrangements?

We're supposed to
show up at the hangar

at 10:00 in the morning
for skydiving class.

Wha- You mean actually jump out
of an airpl- literally?

Oh, there is nothing
like skydiving.

I mean, soaring through the air...
the freedom of it,

the whole idea of
plummeting toward a pasture

and watching a cow
get bigger and bigger.

It's just something we should
do together before we die.

Rose, could-couldn't I just run
toward you yelling, "Moo"?

Too little too late, Miles.

We're gonna jump
out of that airplane.

Hey, what do you want for dinner?
Nothing too heavy.

Am I fat?

What, no, "Hello. Am I fat?"

Dorothy, I seriously
want to know. Am I fat?

Well, of course not.

Oh, this guy Rex
is ruining your self-esteem.

Did he say that you're fat?

Not in so many words.

But I am starting to wonder
whether "barrel-butt"

is really a term of endearment.

(doorbell rings) Oh!

God, it's Rex.

Oh, Rex! Why, you're right on
time, aren't you, you devil?

You remember my roommates...

What are you dressed for?
We're going to a beach party.

Oh, I could've sworn
you said the theater.

Once again, you're wrong.
I'll go change.

No, no, no, just skip it.
We're late. This is so stupid.

What's the big deal? I can go change.
No, there's no time.

You're the one that's going
to be embarrassed, not me.

I'll be waiting in the car.

Boy, he makes Wallace Beery
look like Adolphe Menjou.

Has been a long time since I've
taken you to the movies, hasn't it?

Blanche, this guy has gone
past being a challenge.

He is really treating you
very badly.

Dorothy, you'll see.
I'm just reeling him in.

Blanche, look, I usually don't talk
to you about the men you date.

Nor do I talk to you about
the men you date. Oh, ha-ha.

Listen to me.
I made a joke.

Blanche, this is
no laughing matter.

How can you take
this kind of abuse?

Abuse? I'll have you know he
has never raised a hand to me.

Verbal abuse, Blanche.

He talks like that all the time.
I just don't pay any attention.

You're making excuses for him.
(horn honks)

Look, can we continue
this conversation later,

when I can find both the time
and the interest?

Right now I have a date.

Look, Blanche,
I'm only thinking of you.

(honking) Well,
you know what I think?

I think you just ought
to mind your own damn business.

I'm comin', sweetheart!

Sea of Tranquility,
come to Mama.

Lunar module,
you're out of here! Yah!

That's it! Yes! Ha-ha!

Ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha. Ho-ho.

It's just a puzzle, Dorothy.

You didn't make this much noise
on your wedding night.

Oh, Ma, Ma, it looks great,
doesn't it?

Sure. Let's bust it up.
No, wait.

Blanche and Rose
haven't seen it.

Dorothy, they have dates.
They get to see the real moon.

Oh, I wish Blanche wasn't
out on a date.

I just hate the thought of
her being with that guy Rex.

I'll tell you, no man would ever treat
me that way, and you know why, Ma?

The whole city knows why.
They heard it on the radio.

Rose, how was your date
with Miles?

We had a great time.

He seemed much more exciting
tonight.

Miles is living every moment
like it's his last.

He bought champagne,

and we toasted
our first skydive tomorrow.

Your what?
We're gonna go skydiving.

You're going skydiving?
Mm-hmm.

A room with a view.

A room with a -

I mean, good luck.

Oh, hi, girls.

Oh, Blanche, how was
the beach party?

I'm not a big fan
of beach parties.

I'm just glad
that you got home safely.

Are you still
on that Rex thing?

Listen, for your information,
he apologized and apologized

about the things he was sayin'
when we were leaving.

Then he invited me
marlin fishing,

just the two of us
on the open seas.

He says
it's the ideal vacation.

Sure. No witnesses.

Now, Blanche, I know
you find Rex alluring,

but, honey, I know
where you're headed.

I mean, I was once
in an abusive relationship.

Hey, Stan was a yutz,
but when was he abusive?

Not Stan. I've had
relationships with other men.

Oh, yeah, the evil pen pal.

So, what did Koo Duk Kim
say in his letters

that hurt my little girl?

No, it was in high school.

Michael Tortelli, remember?

Captain of the football team.

Oh, he was beautiful.

Black wavy hair.
Strong Roman nose.

And he could read.

Oh, him.

He was always putting me down.

Made me feel
like I had no self-worth.

Will you stop it?
This has nothing to do with me.

Maybe Rex is right.
Maybe I have gained a few pounds.

Maybe I could try
a little harder.

You are buying right into this.

What makes you such an expert
on relationships?

This is male/female stuff.
This is what I know.

If I need advice
on jigsaw puzzles,

I'll come to you.

Seconds after you jump, your
chute will open automatically,

and you'll lurch upwards.

Unfortunately, not high enough
to get back in the plane.

Now, all you have to do
is relax and enjoy the view.

The only thing to remember is,

when you hit the ground,
tuck and roll.

Tuck and roll. Say it.

(all) Tuck and roll.

Someone didn't say "tuck."

I'm sorry.
I'm a little nervous.

Well, that's good.
It'll keep you on your toes.

Too bad there won't be
anything underneath 'em.

OK, we take off
in five minutes.

Are you excited?
Dumbstruck.

Oh, I know that feeling.

I just hope I remember
everything the instructor said.

You must know what you're doing.
You did this with Charlie.

Well, we wanted to, but -
"But"? "But"?

Rose, the way you talked, I thought
you two did this all the time.

Now, I'm confused.

And, you know, I feel
like I'm getting smarter.

That's why we're good
for each other.

What about all those other
great things you two did?

Camping, tennis, boating?

All the time.

Well, maybe only once.

See, Charlie had
this unnatural fear.

Of what?
Camping, tennis, boating.

Rose, don't you see?
You're remembering the way it never was.

Then you're expecting me
to compete with it.

That's not true.

Listen, Rose,
I can't fight a ghost.

Gee, Charlie's not only dead,
he's much younger.

Look, Rose,
you know I'm nuts about you,

but I shouldn't
have to prove it

by jumping out of an airplane.

I'm-I'm over 60.

Well, so is Paul Newman,
and he still races cars.

I don't want to be compared
with Charlie,

and I sure as hell don't want to
be compared with Paul Newman.

Although I gotta tell you,

I do make
a better salad dressing.

In fact, I don't want
to be compared with anybody.

I'm the best me there is,
and that should be enough.

It is. Why, I don't know why
I put you through all this.

Now that I think of it,

I guess there were times that
Charlie was a little boring.

Not that I loved him any less.

That's all I ask, Rose, that you
love me even when I'm boring.

Oh, I do, Miles.

OK, it's time to take off.

Let's go home.
OK.

Rose, uh... you say...
Charlie never did this?

I think he was scared.

He was, huh? (chuckles)

OK, Rose, come on.
Let's go for it.

I bet if Charlie had jumped,

he'd have thrown in
a few somersaults.

Don't push it, Rose.

Well, I have everything I need
for the fishing trip.

Plenty of suntan lotion
and a string bikini.

I don't want the fish to be
the only things nibblin'.

Or floppin' around in the boat.

Blanche.
Yes?

I've been trying to think
of something to say to you,

some words that would make you
come to your senses,

and all I can come up with is,
"Don't go."

That's it? It would be
wrong for me to keep quiet

and let you go off with this guy
when I know you're gonna be hurt.

You've had your say,
but I do not agree with you,

so please just stay out of it.

If you're trying to help me,
you're just kiddin' yourself.

Darn it, I forgot
my lucky silver dollar.

What do you need that for?
To get lucky.

(doorbell rings)

Hi. Is Blanche ready?

Not quite yet.
Would you like to sit down?

No. I'm in a hurry.
She'll only be a few minutes.

Great. Now we're gonna run into traffic.
I hate it when she does this.

You evidently hate it
when she does a lot of things.

What? Nothing.
I'm staying out of it.

Good. Do you want to go
light a fire under her?

No, I don't think so.
Why not?

Because I think she's getting
burned enough as it is.

Would you just go tell Blanche
to hurry up?

I've got to teach this woman
what being on time means.

Wait a minute.
I don't want you teaching her anything.

You're starting
to get on my nerves.

Good, because you're already
on mine.

I don't like the way
you're treating Blanche.

Under all that makeup
and sexy talk,

there's a little girl there,
and for some reason,

she's letting you
take advantage of her.

I can't stop her
from seeing you,

but I'll be damned
if I'm gonna hurry her up.

Who do you think you are?
A friend.

This is none of your business.
Just butt out.

You're hurting me.
Stop that!

Are you ready?

I think you'd better go.

Oh, look, look...
Uh, uh, I'm sorry.

Really, I'm sorry. Uh...

Look, sweetie, you know I don't
mean these things I say.

Just leave. If I walk out that
door, I'm not coming back here.

That's a promise
I'm gonna see that you keep.

Are you all right?
I'm OK.

I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say.
Honey, I'm fine.

You know,
until I saw him grab you,

I-I just couldn't see
what he was.

Listen, it could've been
a lot worse.

Most people
in an abusive relationship

have to hit bottom
before they can get out.

You were lucky.

Your bottom is a lot higher
than most people's.

Well, I'm off.
Oh, where you going, Rose?

To see Miles.

Visiting hours at the
hospital are until ten.

Please tell him I hope
his leg feels better.

Oh, he feels great.

He says a week in bed
is just what he needs.

Tell him I'll drop by
to see him again tomorrow.

I went by that thimble museum.

I got him a thimble
from France.

See, it's got
this little man on it,

and when you turn it
upside dow... (chuckles)

I think I'll keep this one
for myself.

You know, your Miles
is a pretty exciting guy.

I hope you know that.

Oh, I know it now.

You don't realize
how much you care for a man

until you see him streaking toward
the earth trying to grab a bird.

Boy, he must really love you.

Well, I love him, too.

Boy, am I glad I didn't jump.