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1
00:00:04,146 --> 00:00:05,348
CHUCK:
Okay.
2
00:00:05,382 --> 00:00:07,417
I got it. Oh, no, no, no.
3
00:00:07,450 --> 00:00:09,085
But is it safe with me?
4
00:00:09,118 --> 00:00:11,421
What am I gonna do?
Make a big announcement?
5
00:00:12,989 --> 00:00:15,525
Big announcement, everybody.
6
00:00:15,558 --> 00:00:17,627
The rumor is true.
7
00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:21,130
Arvo Industries just bought
Ted's Tackle Box.
8
00:00:21,163 --> 00:00:22,765
-(all groaning)
-That means we're next.
9
00:00:22,799 --> 00:00:24,601
What's gonna keep them
from buying us?
10
00:00:24,634 --> 00:00:26,102
Okay, but calm down, Joe.
11
00:00:26,135 --> 00:00:27,537
Hey, I have cats, okay?
12
00:00:27,570 --> 00:00:29,639
They need sweaters.
They're hairless.
13
00:00:29,672 --> 00:00:31,908
-You guys hear about Ted's?
-Yes!
14
00:00:31,941 --> 00:00:34,110
How does Arvo have
that much money?
15
00:00:34,143 --> 00:00:36,313
They make linoleum
and baby food.
16
00:00:36,346 --> 00:00:39,749
You know, the peach is
surprisingly tangy. I...
17
00:00:39,782 --> 00:00:41,818
Arvo is laying off 30%
of Ted's staff.
18
00:00:41,851 --> 00:00:44,086
-It's a bloodbath over there.
-(people groaning, sighing)
19
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,589
My friend works at Ted's.
He's got three cats.
20
00:00:46,623 --> 00:00:49,726
He just invested
in a claw tower.
21
00:00:49,759 --> 00:00:52,562
-Hey, there's Mike. Mike?
-(loud, overlapping chatter)
22
00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:55,298
You know, and I was afraid
I was gonna walk into a panic.
23
00:00:55,332 --> 00:00:57,567
The entire kitchen staff
is freaking out,
24
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,436
and they all have knives.
25
00:00:59,469 --> 00:01:00,970
Hey, where's Kyle?
26
00:01:01,003 --> 00:01:02,572
He comes in with you.
27
00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:04,474
He's been fired, hasn't he?
It's happening, people!
28
00:01:04,507 --> 00:01:06,175
It's happening already!
29
00:01:06,208 --> 00:01:08,177
All right, all right, calm down.
Nothing's happening.
30
00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:09,979
Kyle took a personal day off.
31
00:01:10,012 --> 00:01:13,149
Look, Arvo Industries can smash
Ted's Tackle Box all they want.
32
00:01:13,182 --> 00:01:14,951
They can't smash this store.
33
00:01:14,984 --> 00:01:16,419
You understand that?
34
00:01:16,453 --> 00:01:18,421
I'm not worried.
35
00:01:18,455 --> 00:01:19,989
Don't be worried.
36
00:01:20,022 --> 00:01:21,424
Come on!
37
00:01:21,458 --> 00:01:23,526
Back to work.
38
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,261
(Kristin sighs)
39
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,996
Thanks, Dad.
We all needed to hear that.
40
00:01:27,029 --> 00:01:29,031
Yeah.
I think we're screwed.
41
00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:33,069
*
42
00:01:37,907 --> 00:01:39,509
You think we're screwed?
43
00:01:39,542 --> 00:01:41,644
You just told everybody
that things are gonna be okay.
44
00:01:41,678 --> 00:01:43,179
Because I didn't want everybody
freaking out.
45
00:01:43,212 --> 00:01:44,881
That's what a good boss does.
46
00:01:44,914 --> 00:01:46,883
Sometimes you have to tell
people stuff they want to hear.
47
00:01:46,916 --> 00:01:48,317
That's a nice jacket,
by the way.
48
00:01:48,351 --> 00:01:50,453
Oh. Thank you.
49
00:01:50,487 --> 00:01:52,622
Wait.
50
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,991
So, what's the plan, Baxter?
51
00:01:55,024 --> 00:01:57,560
Arvo bought Ted's Tackle Box
'cause Ted refuses to grow.
52
00:01:57,594 --> 00:01:59,996
I have a plan here
to expand Outdoor Man
53
00:02:00,029 --> 00:02:03,165
so we can take advantage
of the economies of scale.
54
00:02:03,199 --> 00:02:04,634
Wow. This looks great.
55
00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:06,403
What are we waiting for?
56
00:02:06,436 --> 00:02:10,540
Well, there's an obstacle--
old, grumpy and hates change.
57
00:02:10,573 --> 00:02:13,476
Is it you?
58
00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:15,745
Old and grumpy,
but I like change.
59
00:02:15,778 --> 00:02:17,213
Like, maybe eliminating
your job.
60
00:02:17,246 --> 00:02:18,681
How about that?
61
00:02:18,715 --> 00:02:20,917
He's talking about Ed.
62
00:02:20,950 --> 00:02:23,520
I want to expand five stores,
you know, and upgrade them,
63
00:02:23,553 --> 00:02:25,187
turn them
into marketing showcases.
64
00:02:25,221 --> 00:02:26,389
So what's Ed's problem?
65
00:02:26,423 --> 00:02:27,924
Well...
he is majority owner, right?
66
00:02:27,957 --> 00:02:30,259
So for 30 years,
I've had to always take him
67
00:02:30,292 --> 00:02:31,661
kicking and screaming
towards change.
68
00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:33,496
It's kind of, like,
our little dance.
69
00:02:33,530 --> 00:02:35,264
(chuckles) I can't
picture you dancing, Baxter.
70
00:02:35,297 --> 00:02:37,400
What do you do? Put your left
foot in and shake it all about?
71
00:02:37,434 --> 00:02:38,435
Floss?
72
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,739
-Does Ed know about Arvo?
-Probably not,
73
00:02:42,772 --> 00:02:44,173
'cause he's fishing right now.
74
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,708
-Oh.
-Well, call him.
75
00:02:45,742 --> 00:02:47,343
Uh, he's probably fishing
up in his favorite spot
76
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,878
at Idaho Springs.
77
00:02:48,911 --> 00:02:50,680
There's no cell service
on the river, so,
78
00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:53,115
if we want to talk to him, we'd
have to drive up there, so...
79
00:02:53,149 --> 00:02:55,217
-Not it!
-Not it.
-Oh.
80
00:02:55,251 --> 00:02:57,253
Damn it. I hate this game.
81
00:02:59,321 --> 00:03:01,257
Listen, I was in Mandy
and Kyle's room,
82
00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:03,092
and I was looking
under the bed.
83
00:03:04,627 --> 00:03:07,697
I found these. Look. "Aunt."
84
00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:10,767
(laughs softly)
"Uncle."
85
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,269
And... (giggling)
86
00:03:17,006 --> 00:03:18,908
You know what this means, right?
87
00:03:18,941 --> 00:03:21,744
Uh... Kyle made shirts
88
00:03:21,778 --> 00:03:24,180
to keep track
of who's who in the family?
89
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:27,049
No. No, no. These are for us.
90
00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,951
No. This is...
this is how they're announcing
91
00:03:28,985 --> 00:03:30,620
they're having a baby.
92
00:03:30,653 --> 00:03:32,088
Hmm. That's really clever.
93
00:03:32,121 --> 00:03:34,223
That's how I know
that's not what it is.
94
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:35,992
MANDY:
We're back!
95
00:03:36,025 --> 00:03:39,762
-Hide the loot.
-Yeah.
96
00:03:39,796 --> 00:03:42,665
-Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Oh.
-What?
97
00:03:42,699 --> 00:03:44,967
Hey, you guys.
Where'd you get that, Eve?
98
00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:47,737
What T-shirts?
99
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,839
Mom snooped.
100
00:03:49,872 --> 00:03:52,241
Kyle, I thought
you were gonna hide these.
101
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:56,445
I did. Under the bed, in a box
marked "nothing in here."
102
00:03:57,947 --> 00:04:00,449
Look, honey, I am so happy
for you. (laughs)
103
00:04:00,483 --> 00:04:01,818
-Oh!
-Oh. Mom. Mom, Mom.
104
00:04:01,851 --> 00:04:03,586
I'm not pregnant.
105
00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:05,988
Uh, Kyle jumped the gun
on the T-shirts.
106
00:04:06,022 --> 00:04:07,824
Oh. O-Okay. All right.
107
00:04:07,857 --> 00:04:10,026
Well, um,
so-so maybe you're trying.
108
00:04:10,059 --> 00:04:12,094
Like crazy.
109
00:04:12,128 --> 00:04:13,830
-Ew!
-MANDY: Kyle!
110
00:04:13,863 --> 00:04:15,632
Uh, sorry. Sorry, sorry.
111
00:04:15,665 --> 00:04:18,668
I meant... we're mating.
112
00:04:18,701 --> 00:04:20,302
Boundaries, Kyle.
113
00:04:20,336 --> 00:04:22,605
I eat in here.
114
00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:24,306
She is such a child.
115
00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:26,375
People have sex.
116
00:04:31,881 --> 00:04:33,883
-Hey, Mrs. B?
-Mm?
117
00:04:33,916 --> 00:04:35,718
How long should it take?
118
00:04:35,752 --> 00:04:38,320
Oh, uh, well,
it's different for everybody.
119
00:04:38,354 --> 00:04:40,056
I mean, there's no set time.
120
00:04:40,089 --> 00:04:42,792
-It's already been,
like, three months.
-Mm.
121
00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,493
I'm starting
to be a little concerned
122
00:04:44,527 --> 00:04:47,664
it might have something
to do with my vasectomy.
123
00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:54,003
You, uh...
124
00:04:54,036 --> 00:04:57,540
you... you had-had a vasectomy?
125
00:04:57,574 --> 00:05:00,710
-Yeah, you want to see the scar?
-Uh, no. No.
126
00:05:00,743 --> 00:05:02,912
-Oh, no. It's pretty awesome.
-No, no. I...
127
00:05:02,945 --> 00:05:05,815
-It takes up, like,
half my belly.
-No, I... but...
128
00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,984
Your belly? What? No.
129
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:10,219
Oh, Kyle. Kyle. (sighs)
130
00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:17,159
That's a scar
from an appendectomy.
131
00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:19,562
I always do that.
132
00:05:19,596 --> 00:05:21,598
I hate operations that rhyme.
133
00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:23,566
Yeah.
134
00:05:27,704 --> 00:05:29,505
Yeah, yeah. Well, obviously,
135
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:32,441
I'm entitled to a large
compensation if I'm laid off.
136
00:05:32,474 --> 00:05:34,711
More if I have dependents,
right?
137
00:05:34,744 --> 00:05:36,112
My cats.
138
00:05:36,145 --> 00:05:39,548
It's my lawyer.
I'm just gonna be a minute.
139
00:05:39,582 --> 00:05:41,383
No, I am not gonna sue
Mike Baxter
140
00:05:41,417 --> 00:05:42,785
'cause the man is a prince.
141
00:05:42,819 --> 00:05:45,087
All right?
Good day to you, sir.
142
00:05:45,121 --> 00:05:47,724
-Lawyers. Hate 'em.
-Yeah.
143
00:05:47,757 --> 00:05:51,027
How long you been waiting
out here for me to walk out?
144
00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:53,630
About an hour.
145
00:05:53,663 --> 00:05:55,598
Do you feel it was worth it?
146
00:05:55,632 --> 00:05:57,133
Probably not.
147
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,238
Mikey.
We need to talk.
148
00:06:02,271 --> 00:06:04,807
Damn right we do. Um...
149
00:06:04,841 --> 00:06:08,577
-I know about Ted's Tackle Box.
-Great.
150
00:06:08,611 --> 00:06:11,280
-Great. So you know
we need to do something.
-Yeah.
151
00:06:11,313 --> 00:06:14,150
At our size,
Outdoor Man is like a hot dog,
152
00:06:14,183 --> 00:06:17,754
and Arvo Industries is like
Joey Chestnut.
153
00:06:17,787 --> 00:06:20,089
Is that the kid
who eats all those hot dogs?
154
00:06:20,122 --> 00:06:21,924
-Yeah.
-Yeah. Dips them in water first?
155
00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:24,326
-Right.
-Why isn't that cheating?
156
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,263
I don't know. He probably does
that so he can get more...
157
00:06:27,296 --> 00:06:29,465
-You know, I think
we're off track here.
-Yeah.
158
00:06:29,498 --> 00:06:31,133
-Sit down for a second, Ed.
-Sure.
159
00:06:31,167 --> 00:06:32,769
-I got to ask you a question.
-Okay. (clears throat)
160
00:06:32,802 --> 00:06:34,837
Did you read this proposal
I wrote up for you?
161
00:06:34,871 --> 00:06:37,273
-Yes. Yes, yes.
-You read all 60 pages of it?
162
00:06:37,306 --> 00:06:39,008
-Yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes.
-That's interesting--
163
00:06:39,041 --> 00:06:40,943
there's only 30 pages in there.
164
00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:44,313
I read it twice.
165
00:06:44,346 --> 00:06:47,116
Y-You've said this before.
166
00:06:47,149 --> 00:06:50,019
I don't see why you need me to
analyze every single pie chart.
167
00:06:50,052 --> 00:06:51,620
Yeah, I do,
because we're partners,
168
00:06:51,654 --> 00:06:53,455
you know,
like-like Ben and Jerry,
169
00:06:53,489 --> 00:06:56,258
if Ben did all the work
and Jerry fished all the time.
170
00:06:56,292 --> 00:07:00,162
You do a lot of work, but do you
ever ask me what I'm working on?
171
00:07:00,196 --> 00:07:01,597
-Of course I do.
-Hmm?
172
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,032
I often walk into your office,
173
00:07:03,065 --> 00:07:07,103
look at you and go,
"What are you doing?"
174
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:09,205
-Look, your premise is right.
-Good.
175
00:07:09,238 --> 00:07:11,473
If we don't do something,
we'll get swallowed up,
176
00:07:11,507 --> 00:07:13,976
but why is that a bad idea?
177
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:15,511
What do you mean?
178
00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:18,614
I've just returned
from a private lodge
179
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,883
on a beautiful lake in Wyoming.
180
00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:22,719
Trout the size of your arm.
181
00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:24,987
Guess who invited me.
182
00:07:25,021 --> 00:07:26,723
-Wild guess?
-Hmm.
183
00:07:26,756 --> 00:07:28,791
Arvo Industries,
or some wacky billionaire
184
00:07:28,825 --> 00:07:30,659
hunting you for sport.
185
00:07:30,693 --> 00:07:34,630
They want to buy Outdoor Man,
Mikey. (clears throat)
186
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,966
And you said no.
187
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:38,968
Well, you said it yourself--
188
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,203
they're Joey Chestnut,
we're the soggy dog.
189
00:07:41,237 --> 00:07:43,205
We have to sell, Mikey.
190
00:07:43,239 --> 00:07:45,407
No, no, no,
We do not have to sell. Ed?
191
00:07:45,441 --> 00:07:48,644
Ed. Ed, hold on a second. Ed.
192
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:51,080
What the hell, man?
193
00:07:51,113 --> 00:07:54,050
You-you sent me
to Idaho Springs.
194
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:55,651
Yeah.
195
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:58,054
(chuckles)
196
00:07:59,221 --> 00:08:00,890
Turn-Turns out...
197
00:08:00,923 --> 00:08:02,892
-he was actually in Wyoming.
-Uh-huh.
198
00:08:02,925 --> 00:08:05,862
Ah. You know what is
on that river?
199
00:08:05,895 --> 00:08:08,530
A lot of old, bald white guys.
200
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:14,036
And they can run.
(sighs)
201
00:08:19,742 --> 00:08:22,444
(on TV): Hey, Mike Baxter here
for Outdoor Man.
202
00:08:22,478 --> 00:08:23,445
I'm sitting here,
thinking about
203
00:08:23,479 --> 00:08:25,581
my least favorite phrases.
204
00:08:25,614 --> 00:08:29,852
Top of my list:
"Good government."
205
00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:32,955
Actually, a hilarious oxymoron.
206
00:08:32,989 --> 00:08:35,391
But today,
it's this nugget a boss drops
207
00:08:35,424 --> 00:08:38,394
right before
he becomes your former boss.
208
00:08:38,427 --> 00:08:40,696
"It's not personal.
It's business."
209
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,398
Well, I promise you,
210
00:08:42,431 --> 00:08:44,733
it's personal
to the dude losing his job.
211
00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:47,203
I guarantee he'd rather
you hated him personally
212
00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:49,571
but he get to keep his job,
instead of hearing,
213
00:08:49,605 --> 00:08:51,073
(chuckling):
"Gary, you're a swell guy.
214
00:08:51,107 --> 00:08:53,742
"Now pack your crap
and beat it.
215
00:08:53,776 --> 00:08:55,912
"That job you poured your heart
and soul into--
216
00:08:55,945 --> 00:08:57,446
"we've given it to a robot.
217
00:08:57,479 --> 00:08:59,748
"And you know what we don't
have to give the robot?
218
00:08:59,782 --> 00:09:03,219
"Money.
But don't take it personally.
219
00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:04,954
"After you train
your replacement
220
00:09:04,987 --> 00:09:07,489
"in China how to run this
lathe, you're out on your ass.
221
00:09:07,523 --> 00:09:09,826
"But don't take it personally.
222
00:09:09,859 --> 00:09:11,994
"The money your family relies
on for food and clothes--
223
00:09:12,028 --> 00:09:15,264
"we're gonna spread that
around India.
224
00:09:15,297 --> 00:09:17,133
But don't take it personally."
225
00:09:17,166 --> 00:09:19,135
Well, here
at this American business,
226
00:09:19,168 --> 00:09:20,970
it's about the workers.
227
00:09:21,003 --> 00:09:23,439
We're not breaking faith with
those workers who built it.
228
00:09:23,472 --> 00:09:26,508
Yes, it's about workers. I said
"workers" three or four times.
229
00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:28,945
Now, before you go raising the
hammer and sickle and saying,
230
00:09:28,978 --> 00:09:31,147
"What, are you channeling
Bernie Sanders?," I promise
231
00:09:31,180 --> 00:09:34,083
I'm willing to pass or fail
in the free market system,
232
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:36,518
but my coworkers are my family.
233
00:09:36,552 --> 00:09:38,187
It's called "Outdoor Man," not
234
00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:40,089
"Outdoor Spreadsheet"
or "Outdoor Revenue."
235
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:42,191
Great outdoor goods
made by people,
236
00:09:42,224 --> 00:09:44,293
sold by people to people.
237
00:09:44,326 --> 00:09:47,196
However, if your Labrador
can operate it safely,
238
00:09:47,229 --> 00:09:49,731
I'll sell him a crossbow.
239
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,635
Great job, Mike.
They're gonna love it.
240
00:09:53,669 --> 00:09:56,005
It's not for them.
It's for you.
241
00:09:56,038 --> 00:09:57,974
Follow me.
242
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,278
-(knocking)
-Hey, honey.
243
00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,213
-Hey, Mom.
-Hey.
244
00:10:04,246 --> 00:10:07,049
Ooh, busy, busy, busy.
(laughs)
245
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:11,320
Yeah. I, um,
was talking to Kyle earlier.
246
00:10:11,353 --> 00:10:13,956
God, he seems pretty excited
about starting a family.
247
00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:16,959
Yeah, Kyle's really eager
to be a dad.
248
00:10:16,993 --> 00:10:19,996
He's already been online looking
at pediatricians.
249
00:10:20,029 --> 00:10:21,697
Well, that is important.
250
00:10:21,730 --> 00:10:23,799
Mostly, he wants one
with a bow tie.
251
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,801
(Vanessa laughs)
252
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:29,338
Well, I just think it's great
that you want to have a baby.
253
00:10:29,371 --> 00:10:32,008
Sure.
254
00:10:32,041 --> 00:10:34,210
S-Sure?
255
00:10:34,243 --> 00:10:37,379
No, I didn't mean "sure"
as in "kind of."
256
00:10:37,413 --> 00:10:40,849
I meant "sure" as in...
"Yay, baby."
257
00:10:43,519 --> 00:10:46,889
And I mean, "I'm not buying it"
as in "I'm not buying it."
258
00:10:46,923 --> 00:10:49,091
I'm just worried
this isn't the right time.
259
00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:51,260
I'm-I'm putting a lot of work
into my business.
260
00:10:51,293 --> 00:10:52,995
Kyle just started his new job.
261
00:10:53,029 --> 00:10:55,932
And, like, no pediatricians
still wear bow ties.
262
00:10:55,965 --> 00:10:57,766
(sighs)
All right. Wait, wait, wait.
263
00:10:57,799 --> 00:11:00,502
Listen, listen, listen. Listen.
264
00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:03,372
As much as I can't wait
to be a grandma again,
265
00:11:03,405 --> 00:11:06,208
you waiting until you're ready
is more important.
266
00:11:06,242 --> 00:11:09,878
Look, your-your life changes
big-time when you become a mom.
267
00:11:09,912 --> 00:11:12,114
Beautifully.
268
00:11:12,148 --> 00:11:13,849
But big-time.
269
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:17,053
What if I'm not as good
at it as you?
270
00:11:17,086 --> 00:11:19,288
Oh, stop, stop.
Come on, you will be.
271
00:11:19,321 --> 00:11:23,125
You will be,
but when you are ready.
272
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,464
Wait.
273
00:11:28,497 --> 00:11:30,732
If you feel that way,
then why are you trying?
274
00:11:30,766 --> 00:11:32,935
I'm sort of not.
275
00:11:35,171 --> 00:11:37,273
I mean, I know
the best times to try,
276
00:11:37,306 --> 00:11:40,109
and I've been avoiding them.
277
00:11:40,142 --> 00:11:42,111
Well, is that fair to Kyle?
278
00:11:42,144 --> 00:11:44,380
No, it's okay. We...
(laughing): We more than make up
279
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:45,781
-for it other times.
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
280
00:11:45,814 --> 00:11:48,150
No. No, no, no, no.
281
00:11:48,184 --> 00:11:51,487
Um, honey, it's okay
if you feel that way,
282
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,956
but-but, really,
you need to tell your husband.
283
00:11:53,990 --> 00:11:56,292
Do I?
284
00:11:56,325 --> 00:11:57,626
Mandy.
285
00:11:57,659 --> 00:11:58,927
It's not like I'm lying to him.
286
00:11:58,961 --> 00:12:00,296
I'm just not telling him
the truth.
287
00:12:00,329 --> 00:12:01,397
Mandy.
288
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:02,999
Fine. Fine. I'll stop lying.
289
00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:07,203
-Mandy.
-Fine.
290
00:12:09,838 --> 00:12:11,940
I just want
to show you something
291
00:12:11,974 --> 00:12:16,778
that I forgot to put in that
proposal that you didn't read.
292
00:12:16,812 --> 00:12:18,914
Now, listen, I'm sure you don't
know who that is.
293
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,683
ED:
Uh, that's Connor
from Fishing Gear.
294
00:12:21,717 --> 00:12:24,520
Yeah, well, his wife, she, uh,
his wife, um...
295
00:12:24,553 --> 00:12:26,255
Liz. Liz. They just had a kid,
remember?
296
00:12:26,288 --> 00:12:27,990
Of course they did.
Beautiful little girl.
297
00:12:28,024 --> 00:12:30,159
That's not exactly what I want
to show you, though.
298
00:12:30,192 --> 00:12:32,194
-Yeah.
-What I want to show you is...
299
00:12:32,228 --> 00:12:33,962
-Mm-hmm.
-...over there.
300
00:12:33,996 --> 00:12:35,531
-That-that woman there.
She, um...
-ED: Yeah.
301
00:12:35,564 --> 00:12:37,333
Leslie. We just went
302
00:12:37,366 --> 00:12:38,767
to her housewarming party
last month.
303
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,836
-I gave her a toaster.
-Right.
304
00:12:40,869 --> 00:12:44,506
Richest guy in the room
gave her a toaster.
305
00:12:44,540 --> 00:12:47,176
Okay. All right.
(chuckles)
306
00:12:47,209 --> 00:12:49,445
I get where you're going
with this, Mike.
307
00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:51,480
-Uh, think so?
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
308
00:12:51,513 --> 00:12:53,649
They're not just, uh,
numbers on a spreadsheet,
309
00:12:53,682 --> 00:12:55,117
they're people, hmm?
310
00:12:55,151 --> 00:12:57,053
They're-they're our people,
right?
311
00:12:57,086 --> 00:13:00,289
And if we sell, our people
will be taken care of.
312
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:02,324
But for how long? I mean,
I think Connor wants
313
00:13:02,358 --> 00:13:04,626
to keep that kid for a while.
Same with Leslie and her house.
314
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:07,796
Despite the toaster fire.
315
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,465
But if Arvo buys Outdoor Man,
316
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,233
they're still gonna need
our people.
317
00:13:11,267 --> 00:13:13,035
Yeah? Why don't you tell that
to all the people
318
00:13:13,069 --> 00:13:15,437
just laid off from
Ted's Tackle Box?
319
00:13:19,941 --> 00:13:22,211
Yeah, well...
320
00:13:22,244 --> 00:13:24,580
you're right, Mike.
321
00:13:24,613 --> 00:13:27,049
I can't throw these people
to the wolves.
322
00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:28,750
So we're not gonna sell.
323
00:13:28,784 --> 00:13:30,386
Won't sell.
324
00:13:30,419 --> 00:13:32,488
Now it's time we took a look
at my proposal.
325
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:36,592
Actually, I have a proposal
of my own: I'm gonna retire.
326
00:13:36,625 --> 00:13:38,327
-(chuckles)
-Yeah.
327
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,662
From what?
328
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:42,831
It's time you took
the reins, Mike.
329
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:46,168
Yes, you said yourself,
you don't need me anymore.
330
00:13:46,202 --> 00:13:47,169
Come on.
331
00:13:47,203 --> 00:13:48,937
You know, this...
332
00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:51,607
this is why I hate doing
the hokeypokey.
333
00:13:55,644 --> 00:13:58,114
VANESSA:
Wow. So Ed just quit?
334
00:13:58,147 --> 00:14:00,449
That's what he said.
335
00:14:00,482 --> 00:14:02,518
Well, I'm sure that's hard
for him, but, you know,
336
00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:05,221
he knows what's best
for himself.
337
00:14:05,254 --> 00:14:07,923
Really? Three marriages,
no prenups?
338
00:14:07,956 --> 00:14:10,859
And I'm supposed to trust
his judgment?
339
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:12,394
Well, I don't know, maybe
he just feels like it's time
340
00:14:12,428 --> 00:14:13,795
to try something else.
341
00:14:13,829 --> 00:14:15,797
Trust me, within a week,
342
00:14:15,831 --> 00:14:19,301
he'll be going crazy without me
being around to bust his balls.
343
00:14:19,335 --> 00:14:21,303
Will he?
344
00:14:25,307 --> 00:14:29,278
What'd you mean by that?
345
00:14:29,311 --> 00:14:31,046
Look, Mike, I...
346
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,914
-You like to kid around a lot.
-Mm-hmm.
347
00:14:32,948 --> 00:14:34,250
A-And I know
you're just trying
348
00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:35,584
to be funny with people.
349
00:14:35,617 --> 00:14:38,620
Trying to be funny?
350
00:14:38,654 --> 00:14:40,422
A lot of people use my jokes.
351
00:14:40,456 --> 00:14:42,724
I've heard them.
352
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:45,827
Well, I'm just saying
that some people--
353
00:14:45,861 --> 00:14:47,663
I mean, not me or the kids
354
00:14:47,696 --> 00:14:49,965
or, you know,
that waiter from last night--
355
00:14:49,998 --> 00:14:52,901
-(chuckles)
-but some people might think
356
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:56,172
you were saying what you
actually felt.
357
00:14:56,205 --> 00:14:59,441
That's ridiculous. What kind
of moron would think that?
358
00:14:59,475 --> 00:15:01,810
So maybe you give Ed
the impression
359
00:15:01,843 --> 00:15:04,346
that he's not that important
to you anymore.
360
00:15:04,380 --> 00:15:06,348
-I don't do that.
-All right, well,
361
00:15:06,382 --> 00:15:08,350
what did you say to him when he
came back from the fishing trip?
362
00:15:08,384 --> 00:15:11,787
I said something nice.
I compared us to Ben and Jerry.
363
00:15:11,820 --> 00:15:14,690
A cat and mouse?
364
00:15:14,723 --> 00:15:18,360
That would be Tom and Jerry.
365
00:15:18,394 --> 00:15:21,930
(laughing): Oh.
Oh, right, yeah.
366
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:24,766
Well, look,
if-if you want Ed to stay,
367
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,835
then maybe you should tell him
how important he is to you.
368
00:15:26,868 --> 00:15:31,240
Perfect. Give us something to
talk about while we're spooning.
369
00:15:34,210 --> 00:15:35,711
(gasps) Kyle.
370
00:15:35,744 --> 00:15:37,246
There you are.
371
00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:40,782
What's wrong?
372
00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:42,984
(exhales) Bad day.
373
00:15:43,018 --> 00:15:45,521
I know something
that'll cheer you up.
374
00:15:45,554 --> 00:15:48,224
A kiss from your turtle.
375
00:15:48,257 --> 00:15:50,326
Turtle kiss.
376
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:53,061
(laughs)
377
00:15:53,094 --> 00:15:55,697
There's my happy hubby.
378
00:15:55,731 --> 00:15:58,367
Yeah, well, it's hard to be sad
when you're a turtle.
379
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:02,838
You know, honey, if...
if you're still worried
380
00:16:02,871 --> 00:16:04,706
because we haven't been able
to get pregnant yet,
381
00:16:04,740 --> 00:16:07,376
I think I can make you
feel better.
382
00:16:07,409 --> 00:16:09,978
No. You can't.
383
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,913
I went to the doctor.
384
00:16:11,947 --> 00:16:14,416
You're not still worried
about the vasectomy, are you?
385
00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:17,519
I told you that is
a kidney thing.
386
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,690
No, I already had
the appointment.
387
00:16:21,723 --> 00:16:25,261
But while I was there,
I... had my sperm counted.
388
00:16:25,294 --> 00:16:27,162
They can do that?
389
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,765
It seems like they'd be hard
to catch.
390
00:16:29,798 --> 00:16:32,834
Yeah, I-I don't know
how they do it.
391
00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,536
But they did.
392
00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:37,138
And mine is low.
393
00:16:39,408 --> 00:16:41,577
Sorry I let you down.
394
00:16:41,610 --> 00:16:44,680
Oh, honey, you-you didn't.
395
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:46,348
Look,
396
00:16:46,382 --> 00:16:49,117
the truth is...
397
00:16:49,150 --> 00:16:52,854
I'm not sure I want
to have a baby yet.
398
00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:54,456
You don't?
399
00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:56,725
No.
400
00:16:56,758 --> 00:16:59,428
So maybe it's a good thing
we have to wait.
401
00:16:59,461 --> 00:17:01,297
(sighs)
Wow.
402
00:17:03,499 --> 00:17:06,568
How lucky am I?
403
00:17:08,437 --> 00:17:11,072
You love me so much,
you'd make up this lie
404
00:17:11,106 --> 00:17:12,641
just to make me feel better.
405
00:17:12,674 --> 00:17:15,043
No, no. I'm not lying.
406
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,112
I have serious doubts
this is the right time.
407
00:17:17,145 --> 00:17:20,148
How do you get dressed in the
morning with those angel wings?
408
00:17:20,181 --> 00:17:22,884
Kyle, listen to me,
I am telling the truth.
409
00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:26,788
Then I'm gonna tell you
the truth. I hate you.
410
00:17:26,822 --> 00:17:28,724
-I'm doing your lying thing,
-Oh.
411
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:31,627
-You got that, right?
-Yeah.
412
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:33,562
You're just not gonna
believe me, are you?
413
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,431
No. But I appreciate it.
414
00:17:35,464 --> 00:17:37,132
And we still have hope.
415
00:17:37,165 --> 00:17:39,668
The-the doctor suggested things
to help boost my numbers.
416
00:17:39,701 --> 00:17:42,471
-Like what?
-Well...
417
00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:45,474
I have to start wearing
boxer shorts.
418
00:17:45,507 --> 00:17:48,176
And eating superfoods.
419
00:17:48,209 --> 00:17:50,078
Oh, and...
420
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,781
I might have to give up
the unicycle.
421
00:17:56,652 --> 00:17:58,587
MIKE:
Ed.
422
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,255
What are you doing?
423
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,923
Packing up, Mikey.
424
00:18:01,957 --> 00:18:04,125
Oh, yes, and I'm leaving you
my-my copy
425
00:18:04,159 --> 00:18:06,595
of Laughs for the Lavatory.
426
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:08,997
From what I understand,
it's in poor taste now.
427
00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:10,932
Put that stuff back.
428
00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:13,335
You're not gonna want to leave
after you see this.
429
00:18:13,369 --> 00:18:15,804
-The hell is that?
-It's the first commercial
430
00:18:15,837 --> 00:18:17,473
we ever did together on,
literally,
431
00:18:17,506 --> 00:18:20,141
the last VCR in America.
432
00:18:20,175 --> 00:18:24,212
Come on. Oh, man.
433
00:18:24,245 --> 00:18:28,116
*
434
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,685
Hello, I'm Mike Baxter.
435
00:18:29,718 --> 00:18:32,020
Hey, actually that's my line.
436
00:18:32,053 --> 00:18:34,456
(chuckles) That's right.
And this is my line.
437
00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:36,224
And my hook and sinker.
Mm-hmm.
438
00:18:36,257 --> 00:18:38,460
That's right. This is wh...
this is the Bull Taylor
439
00:18:38,494 --> 00:18:40,028
-rod and reel.
-Mm-hmm. Yup.
440
00:18:40,061 --> 00:18:41,697
Available exclusively at...
441
00:18:41,730 --> 00:18:45,000
BOTH (echoing):
Outdoor Man.
442
00:18:45,033 --> 00:18:46,802
-Mm-hmm.
-You don't have to be in Miami
443
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:49,304
-to enjoy this vice.
-Ooh.
444
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:52,641
Ah. (chuckles)
445
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:55,043
If you don't get it here,
you don't get it.
446
00:18:55,076 --> 00:18:59,047
-Get it? (chuckles)
-Get it.
447
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,816
We were idiots.
All right, what's the point?
448
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,250
The-the point is
look at those two idiots.
449
00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:03,719
They're having a great time.
450
00:19:03,752 --> 00:19:05,721
Yeah, we were a good team, huh?
451
00:19:05,754 --> 00:19:07,489
What do you mean?
We're still a good team.
452
00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:09,858
Outdoor Man works
because we work.
453
00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:12,093
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
454
00:19:12,127 --> 00:19:15,196
The only thing in my life
that ever did.
455
00:19:15,230 --> 00:19:18,166
Okay, look, if I've ever
made fun of you
456
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:20,836
in a joke or two... dozen,
457
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:23,104
-I-I'm sorry.
-Yeah, I see,
458
00:19:23,138 --> 00:19:24,873
I see what you're saying--
so you think I'm a crybaby
459
00:19:24,906 --> 00:19:27,609
because I can't take a joke,
huh? Please.
460
00:19:27,643 --> 00:19:31,046
I sat in the front row
at a Rickles show.
461
00:19:31,079 --> 00:19:32,948
Okay, so what is it?
462
00:19:32,981 --> 00:19:34,550
-It's time, Mike.
-For what?
463
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:36,251
That's all. Here. It-It's time.
464
00:19:36,284 --> 00:19:37,953
Come on, I've worked my ass off
my whole life.
465
00:19:37,986 --> 00:19:39,387
I-I didn't stay
in this kind of shape
466
00:19:39,421 --> 00:19:40,856
so I could sit behind my desk
467
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,691
for-for another 30 years.
468
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,760
I-I want to enjoy the time
I've got left, that's all.
469
00:19:44,793 --> 00:19:46,695
(chuckles) Well, if you last
another 30 years,
470
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,797
you won't be enjoying it,
I'll tell you that.
471
00:19:48,830 --> 00:19:52,100
Listen, wh-why are you making
this so hard?
472
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:53,935
Wh-Why don't you let me leave?
473
00:19:53,969 --> 00:19:58,139
We-Well, we, you know,
we got to, um...
474
00:19:58,173 --> 00:20:00,408
We, you know, there...
475
00:20:00,442 --> 00:20:02,210
We have the... Let me...
476
00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:04,880
All right, um,
let me help you here, okay?
477
00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:07,215
You've lost a lot lately.
Haven't you?
478
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,084
Hmm? You know, Mike.
479
00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:12,654
Your girls are growing up.
Your father passed away.
480
00:20:12,688 --> 00:20:15,190
And now you don't want to lose
your best friend.
481
00:20:20,529 --> 00:20:22,430
I'm gonna miss you, man.
482
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,835
Okay. I'll miss you, too.
483
00:20:26,868 --> 00:20:29,738
Yeah.
484
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:32,674
Here. I don't have a VCR.
485
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:43,752
-CHUCK: There he is!
-(applause)
486
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:46,655
-The man who saved our jobs.
-All right, all right.
487
00:20:46,688 --> 00:20:48,624
When you do right,
we got to give it up.
488
00:20:48,657 --> 00:20:50,425
And, look, my cats are smiling,
and not just 'cause
489
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,427
-they killed a lizard.
Check that out.
-Oh.
490
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:56,532
Well, this, uh, new era is gonna
be great for all of us.
491
00:20:56,565 --> 00:20:58,967
But we'll all have to do
some more work.
492
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,435
-How's that, now?
-Hmm?
493
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:03,171
Well, I want all the stores
to be up to Denver standards.
494
00:21:03,204 --> 00:21:05,641
All department heads--
we're gonna need proposals,
495
00:21:05,674 --> 00:21:07,943
budgets, training manuals.
496
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,711
That sounds like a lot of work.
(laughs)
497
00:21:09,745 --> 00:21:12,113
You clearly just said
"some" more work.
498
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:13,949
Well, this is a big job.
499
00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,884
That means extra work.
500
00:21:15,917 --> 00:21:17,986
That means late nights.
Weekends.
501
00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:20,488
Oh, during football season.
502
00:21:20,522 --> 00:21:23,559
(laughs): Oh, man. I'm all
for expansion, Baxter,
503
00:21:23,592 --> 00:21:27,195
but we don't have to take over
the whole damn world.
504
00:21:27,228 --> 00:21:29,898
Well, a lot of people
at Ted's Tackle Box
505
00:21:29,931 --> 00:21:31,466
are looking for work
right about now.
506
00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:33,635
Look, I can't do it all,
everybody.
507
00:21:33,669 --> 00:21:36,738
Come on, let's get to work.
Come on, let's do it.
508
00:21:38,273 --> 00:21:39,741
(chicken clucking)
509
00:21:39,775 --> 00:21:41,777
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
35393
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