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1
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:07,139
I love pinball.
2
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:08,980
Ah. You never played?
3
00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:10,999
Oh, no, sir. Our pastor always said,
4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,210
"Only churches should
have that many bells."
5
00:00:13,218 --> 00:00:14,859
- [LAUGHS]
- What the hell?
6
00:00:14,860 --> 00:00:17,179
Hey, hey, Mikey, look at,
look at this. Come here.
7
00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:19,710
I bought this for the
game room at my house,
8
00:00:19,716 --> 00:00:21,604
and they delivered it here by mistake.
9
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:24,080
- Great story. Get rid of it.
- No, no, no.
10
00:00:24,088 --> 00:00:27,040
I'll get rid of it in a few days,
but, but try it, it's fun.
11
00:00:27,049 --> 00:00:28,950
Yeah, so much fun. I
only want to be paid
12
00:00:28,959 --> 00:00:30,697
- in quarters from now on.
- [CHUCKLES]
13
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,240
Not interested.
14
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,289
Okay, so you weren't into pinball.
15
00:00:34,290 --> 00:00:36,300
It's not for everybody. Only for those
16
00:00:36,310 --> 00:00:38,247
who aren't afraid to
live a little, yeah?
17
00:00:40,954 --> 00:00:44,669
All right. Move aside, I'm just
gonna show you this one time.
18
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,600
All right. Go ahead.
19
00:00:46,602 --> 00:00:48,380
[MIKE SIGHS]
20
00:00:48,386 --> 00:00:50,610
Oh, he knows where the money goes.
21
00:00:50,614 --> 00:00:52,400
I think we got a ringer.
22
00:00:52,408 --> 00:00:54,060
[MACHINE BEEPS AND JANGLES]
23
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:55,859
[GAME BUZZES]
24
00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:58,420
Oh, you have to use the flippers, Mr. B.
25
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,231
- [GAME BUZZES]
- Let me have your tie.
26
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,357
Okay.
27
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,769
What's that about... tie?
28
00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:10,020
[GAME WHIRRING]
29
00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:12,030
Uh, this isn't golf.
30
00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:14,800
Low score does not win.
31
00:01:14,804 --> 00:01:16,785
All right? [CLEARS THROAT] So...
32
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:19,970
[INHALES DEEPLY]
33
00:01:19,977 --> 00:01:22,400
[EXHALES]
34
00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:36,570
No cussword way.
35
00:01:36,577 --> 00:01:38,790
I believe...
36
00:01:38,795 --> 00:01:41,920
that would be a free game.
37
00:01:41,923 --> 00:01:46,080
Now get the cussword back to work.
38
00:01:46,086 --> 00:01:47,099
[LAUGHS]
39
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:51,100
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
40
00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:56,679
Thanks for coming grocery
shopping with me, Jen.
41
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:57,909
I know it's a chore.
42
00:01:57,910 --> 00:01:59,239
Not at all. At first,
43
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,010
I was put off by all the ridiculously
44
00:02:01,018 --> 00:02:02,949
oversized product at the store,
45
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:06,293
but then I found this.
46
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,630
God bless America.
47
00:02:11,195 --> 00:02:13,007
Ooh, good, you guys went shopping.
48
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,900
Kyle and I are gonna need
this at the new apartment.
49
00:02:14,907 --> 00:02:16,260
No. You can't take all of them.
50
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,139
I'll leave you one. [CHUCKLES]
51
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:22,990
Hey. Uh, if you're here
to steal toilet paper,
52
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,139
I already got it.
53
00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:26,819
Uh... no. Kris is
stealing ink cartridges,
54
00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:28,670
and I'm just the sexy getaway driver.
55
00:02:28,671 --> 00:02:32,060
Uh, hey, guys. Look at this.
56
00:02:32,065 --> 00:02:35,339
Looks like someone wrote a poem
and left it in the printer.
57
00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:36,579
"To my little bird,
58
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:38,379
"About to fly the nest into the night,
59
00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:42,250
Our time is precious, like
a piece of tanzanite."
60
00:02:42,259 --> 00:02:43,663
Interesting.
61
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,409
Hmm. It's certainly lyrical.
62
00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:46,779
The rhyme scheme's a little forced,
63
00:02:46,780 --> 00:02:49,780
but I guess I'm just a
free verse kind of guy.
64
00:02:49,783 --> 00:02:51,979
Wha... What's tanzanite?
65
00:02:51,980 --> 00:02:53,079
Uh, a gemstone.
66
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,990
It was in the earrings Mom
gave me for Christmas.
67
00:02:54,996 --> 00:02:56,220
Oh, my gosh.
68
00:02:56,222 --> 00:02:58,210
Mom wrote me a poem
69
00:02:58,217 --> 00:03:00,263
because I'm moving out next week.
70
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:02,979
Hmm. When you moved out, all you got
71
00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:04,079
was a box of pancake mix
72
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,685
- and a can of bug spray.
- Shh.
73
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,359
Hey, hey. Uh, parents care for
their kids in different ways.
74
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:09,710
Some get meaningful words,
75
00:03:09,719 --> 00:03:14,380
others get flapjacks
and a can of poison.
76
00:03:14,383 --> 00:03:16,510
Big deal. Okay? I don't care. [CHUCKLES]
77
00:03:16,518 --> 00:03:18,750
I mean, I only gave Mom
her first grandchild.
78
00:03:18,754 --> 00:03:21,329
That should merit a poem, right?
79
00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:23,439
"My darling Kristin, how the light... "
80
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,709
No. Not from you. N...
81
00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:28,390
You-you know what? I'm just
gonna up my daughter game
82
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:29,909
and earn myself a poem.
83
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,200
Okay. Good luck.
84
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,059
It'll be hard to compete
with this little bird.
85
00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:35,160
- Tweet, tweet.
- Hmm.
86
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:37,999
"My darling Kristin,
87
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,560
"One-upped by her sister,
88
00:03:39,570 --> 00:03:41,722
Abandoned in the foyer of life."
89
00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:49,187
We've been trying for an hour to
duplicate that pinball trick,
90
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:52,349
and I'm starting to
think it's not a trick.
91
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:53,879
It's not.
92
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,780
Listen.
93
00:03:55,782 --> 00:03:59,572
There was a time that pinball,
literally, was my life.
94
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,299
- You were that good, huh?
- I wasn't good.
95
00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,110
I was... I was the best.
96
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,010
Huh. Well...
97
00:04:05,017 --> 00:04:07,580
Kids from other schools
would drive to Ann Arbor
98
00:04:07,585 --> 00:04:09,430
just to take me down.
99
00:04:09,438 --> 00:04:13,044
Takes a lot to make a
man drive to Ann Arbor.
100
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,319
I didn't go to class, I didn't go out.
101
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:16,459
It was an obsession, man,
102
00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:17,879
you know, and every time I turned,
103
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,159
there was some twitchy-fingered kid
104
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,219
just looking to find me and go,
105
00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:21,840
"Hey, I hear you're the one to beat."
106
00:04:21,850 --> 00:04:22,887
Wow.
107
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:25,020
You were like Clint Eastwood, right?
108
00:04:25,028 --> 00:04:28,259
In every Clint Eastwood movie.
109
00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:29,939
There got to be a point
where I was hoping
110
00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:31,659
- that I'd get beat, you know?
- Yeah.
111
00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:33,259
Somebody to take the target off my back.
112
00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:35,329
But God was right there saying to me,
113
00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:38,152
"I only made one of you, Baxter."
114
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,010
That's a hell of a story, Mike.
115
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,509
Yes. Don't worry, I'll get
rid of the machine tomorrow.
116
00:04:43,510 --> 00:04:44,519
- Don't worry.
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
117
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:45,520
- Yeah.
- Oh, hey.
118
00:04:45,521 --> 00:04:46,869
Uh, Kyle was looking for you.
119
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,619
Oh. Thanks, Chuck. Don't
worry about that.
120
00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:50,240
- Thanks, man.
- Yep.
121
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,259
I hear you're the guy to beat.
122
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:05,969
[VOCALIZING]
123
00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:07,980
- What are you doing here? You're cooking?
- Oh.
124
00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:09,230
Oh, yeah. Just throwing
125
00:05:09,239 --> 00:05:12,749
a little somethin' somethin'
together for Mom.
126
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:14,840
- Oh, chicken Bellagio?
- Mm.
127
00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:17,109
You're just, uh, throwing
together Mom's favorite meal?
128
00:05:17,110 --> 00:05:18,779
Oh, yeah, that's right.
129
00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:20,990
Now that you mention it,
I do seem to recall
130
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,109
that she loves it.
131
00:05:24,110 --> 00:05:25,469
Is it love, Kris?
132
00:05:25,470 --> 00:05:28,203
I mean, it's not like
she's written it a poem.
133
00:05:29,685 --> 00:05:31,449
Hey.
134
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:32,979
- Mom, hi.
- Hi.
135
00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:34,330
Uh, wait, no. You know what?
136
00:05:34,340 --> 00:05:36,330
Let's keep your coat on. I'm
gonna take you to dinner.
137
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,713
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No. I made-I made dinner.
138
00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:40,099
- Yeah, just sit down and...
- You? Oh. Oh, okay.
139
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,219
- and I'll get you a glass of wine.
- Okay.
140
00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:44,690
Sit down!
141
00:05:44,691 --> 00:05:47,909
Wow, wow, look at all this
attention I'm getting.
142
00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:49,879
- I-I feel so special.
- Yeah.
143
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,144
You are so special. Get away from her.
144
00:05:56,761 --> 00:05:59,590
[CHUCKLES] Hey. Hold on.
You guys found my poem.
145
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,160
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, yes.
146
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:04,510
And I would love to hear it
performed by the author.
147
00:06:04,511 --> 00:06:06,908
Oh, really? You don't think
that would be kind of weird?
148
00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,760
- No.
- Yes.
149
00:06:09,766 --> 00:06:12,140
Yeah. You-you go ahead and read it, Mom.
150
00:06:12,144 --> 00:06:14,248
[CRYING]: I'll try to keep it together.
151
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:16,390
[SIGHS] Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
152
00:06:16,397 --> 00:06:18,600
Oh, gosh. I'm actually kind of nervous.
153
00:06:18,609 --> 00:06:20,850
Uh, Jen!
154
00:06:20,852 --> 00:06:23,382
[CHUCKLES]: Um, uh, Jen?
155
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,700
Uh, that's not how the poem starts.
156
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,514
[MOUTH FULL]: Yes, Vanessa?
157
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:34,090
I'd like to read a poem I wrote for you.
158
00:06:34,099 --> 00:06:35,646
Wait, what?
159
00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:38,469
Yeah. I hope when you're
back in Hong Kong,
160
00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:41,370
you will read this and-and think of me.
161
00:06:41,373 --> 00:06:44,236
Oh, I'm going to cry.
162
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,115
Want some flapjacks now, Mandy?
163
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,179
"So, farewell, little bird.
164
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:01,650
"I hope you know you will be missed.
165
00:07:01,652 --> 00:07:03,969
"You'll forever shine,
166
00:07:03,970 --> 00:07:06,690
like purple amethyst."
167
00:07:06,698 --> 00:07:10,220
That is the sweetest
poem I've ever heard.
168
00:07:10,226 --> 00:07:11,639
I want to frame it.
169
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,919
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
170
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,799
Well, we can use one of Mike's.
171
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,270
He won't notice one less
picture of him and John Elway.
172
00:07:19,419 --> 00:07:22,316
- [CHUCKLES]
- What are you grinning at?
173
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:25,459
You. I know that there are
26 letters in the alphabet,
174
00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:27,940
but all I see are "N," "V."
175
00:07:29,554 --> 00:07:31,839
Okay, I fell a lot farther than you.
176
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,510
Um. I had everything,
then I had nothing.
177
00:07:34,518 --> 00:07:36,189
You had nothing,
178
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:38,219
then a little s-sideways shuffle,
179
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,910
and then still nothing.
180
00:07:39,915 --> 00:07:44,171
Okay, starting to share your resentment.
181
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,020
We need to win Mom back.
182
00:07:46,029 --> 00:07:47,258
[WHINING]: How?
183
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:50,079
What if we treat her
184
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,550
to a spa weekend at the Abbott-Berry?
185
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:55,290
Okay. I am all for winning Mom back,
186
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,279
but can't we find some
place a little bit cheaper
187
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,090
than the Abbott-Berry?
188
00:07:59,092 --> 00:08:00,390
I mean, I don't want
to have to tell Boyd
189
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,189
that he's going to community college.
190
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,079
This is no time to pinch
pennies. We are at war.
191
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,359
Our mother's love has been
stolen by a foreign power.
192
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,370
It's collusion.
193
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:12,880
I... Oh, I, uh, I just need a pen.
194
00:08:12,889 --> 00:08:15,911
Jen wants me to autograph the
poem before we frame it.
195
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,159
- Aw.
- That is so sweet.
196
00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,379
- Yeah.
- Um, unrelated,
197
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:22,859
uh, so Kris and I were just
talking, and we realized
198
00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:25,460
that we haven't been spending
enough time with you lately.
199
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,130
- Oh. Yeah, it bothers me, too.
- KRISTIN: Yeah.
200
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,959
- Yeah. So why don't you pack your bags?
- Yeah.
201
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,860
Because we are stealing you away
202
00:08:30,865 --> 00:08:32,470
for a weekend at the Abbott-Berry.
203
00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:35,530
[GASPS] What? Really? The
Abbott-Berry? [CHUCKLES]
204
00:08:35,537 --> 00:08:37,329
Unless that's too glitzy.
205
00:08:37,330 --> 00:08:39,079
You know, there are a lot
of other great spas.
206
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,259
- Are you kidding? No.
- I mean, you know what I mean?
207
00:08:40,260 --> 00:08:43,550
- I love this. I love this.
- Okay, then. Yeah, sure.
208
00:08:43,553 --> 00:08:46,129
Oh, I have the best
daughters in the world.
209
00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:49,700
[KISSING NOISES] Oh. The Abbott-Berry!
210
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,750
I'm gonna head down and have some lunch.
211
00:08:54,756 --> 00:08:56,740
What are you gonna have... chicken?
212
00:08:56,749 --> 00:08:58,121
Oh, that's right.
213
00:08:59,477 --> 00:09:01,416
You don't eat your own kind.
214
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:05,340
I'm not playing you in pinball.
215
00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:07,129
Why is this so important to you?
216
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,990
I'll tell you why.
217
00:09:08,995 --> 00:09:10,717
Because I was great, man.
218
00:09:13,658 --> 00:09:15,549
'Cause I was great.
219
00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:19,419
It was 1986, the annual
pinball tournament
220
00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:21,960
at Flippo's Arcade in Minneapolis.
221
00:09:21,966 --> 00:09:23,879
[CHUCKLES]
222
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:28,000
This was the year I was
gonna take home the crown.
223
00:09:28,048 --> 00:09:31,050
Was there actually a crown?
224
00:09:31,051 --> 00:09:34,490
It was a baseball cap with boobs on it.
225
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,409
It was a different time.
226
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,279
I was in the final
227
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,320
against Petey "Pinball" Johnson.
228
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:45,833
Wha... Are you familiar with
the Captain and Tennille game?
229
00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:47,599
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
230
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:48,979
Uh, electro-mechanical,
231
00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:50,490
- double flippers.
- Yes.
232
00:09:50,495 --> 00:09:52,160
You got a free game if you could, uh,
233
00:09:52,163 --> 00:09:55,080
spell "Muskrat Love."
234
00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,649
I was on it.
235
00:09:57,650 --> 00:09:58,999
All rollovers and spinners,
236
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,820
- not a single outlane.
- Yeah.
237
00:10:00,822 --> 00:10:02,686
And then, out of nowhere...
238
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:05,647
... the fire alarm.
239
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:09,720
Someone had pulled it.
240
00:10:09,722 --> 00:10:13,350
"Pinball" Johnson.
241
00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:14,970
We had to evacuate.
242
00:10:14,978 --> 00:10:16,500
I had to forfeit.
243
00:10:16,504 --> 00:10:18,702
He stole my...
244
00:10:21,885 --> 00:10:24,940
He stole my boob hat.
245
00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:32,180
[EXHALES] This is sad on so many levels.
246
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,258
I need this, Baxter.
247
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:37,636
Yeah... I'll play you one game.
248
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,599
- Yes.
- But it won't matter,
249
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,049
- you're still gonna lose.
- [SCOFFS]
250
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:44,700
Hey, you've never played against
Chucky "The Greek" Larabee.
251
00:10:45,675 --> 00:10:49,670
Who was in charge of nicknames
up there in Minneapolis?
252
00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:52,359
MANDY: Great.
253
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,070
Thank you. We will see
you in a couple hours.
254
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,010
Ah. We are all set.
255
00:10:57,012 --> 00:10:59,470
- You, me and Mom in the deluxe suite.
- [SIGHS]
256
00:10:59,472 --> 00:11:01,780
We are gonna sea-salt-scrub that Jen
257
00:11:01,783 --> 00:11:04,699
right out of our mother's heart.
258
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:05,709
Hey, guys.
259
00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:06,799
- Hi.
- Hi.
260
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,240
Oh, are you going somewhere?
261
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:11,110
Uh, yeah. We are taking our
mom to the Abbott-Berry
262
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,920
for an expensive spa weekend.
263
00:11:12,927 --> 00:11:16,230
It's fine. Boyd can just
go to community college.
264
00:11:16,231 --> 00:11:19,039
Uh, it'll just be us Baxters, though,
265
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,969
but-but you'll have Dad and your poem.
266
00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:23,419
Mm.
267
00:11:23,420 --> 00:11:24,920
Hope you understand.
268
00:11:24,922 --> 00:11:27,239
Of course. There's
nothing more important
269
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,390
than the time a girl gets
to spend with her mom.
270
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,399
Oh, we know. Don't think we don't.
271
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,510
It's important to build memories,
272
00:11:34,515 --> 00:11:36,600
because some day that's all you'll have.
273
00:11:36,609 --> 00:11:38,510
I know, because...
274
00:11:38,511 --> 00:11:40,783
well, you know, my mom is dead.
275
00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:43,140
- No...
- [GROANING]
276
00:11:43,974 --> 00:11:46,310
Enjoy this time, you guys.
277
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:53,950
Oh, all set. [GIGGLES]
278
00:11:53,951 --> 00:11:56,382
I am so excited. Yeah.
279
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:59,070
I have the most loving, generous,
280
00:11:59,074 --> 00:12:01,210
best daughters in the world.
281
00:12:01,217 --> 00:12:03,410
[SIGHS]
282
00:12:04,763 --> 00:12:06,810
Just... just get in the car.
283
00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:09,700
Oh.
284
00:12:17,980 --> 00:12:20,640
We should just come clean
to Mom and turn around.
285
00:12:20,650 --> 00:12:23,451
Uh, sure. Yeah. We'll just say
we broke the orphan's heart.
286
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:26,119
We have to do something.
287
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,010
Okay? The guilt is killing me.
288
00:12:28,011 --> 00:12:30,099
Let's just put it out of our
minds. We can get through
289
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:31,870
the weekend, and we'll make it
up to Jen when we get back.
290
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,639
Hmm. Don't take this the wrong
way, but it is a lot easier
291
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,500
- for you to put things out of your mind.
- [FAKE LAUGHS]
292
00:12:38,755 --> 00:12:40,900
So, it's okay.
293
00:12:40,906 --> 00:12:42,839
- Ooh.
- I got road trip snacks.
294
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,050
- Ah.
- I am pretty sure
295
00:12:45,053 --> 00:12:46,920
there's not a
naturally-occurring substance
296
00:12:46,921 --> 00:12:48,930
- in any of this.
- Mmm. Mmm.
297
00:12:48,932 --> 00:12:51,990
Just what I need... something
else to eat away at me.
298
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,600
Uh-uh, no, no, no, this
is a guilt-free trip.
299
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,510
You hear that, Kris? Guilt-free.
300
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:57,901
- Mm.
- Now let's go.
301
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,479
Oh, you know what? Um, before we go,
302
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,550
guys, I-I just want to clear the air.
303
00:13:02,553 --> 00:13:05,117
- Hmm.
- I know why you girls are doing this.
304
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,510
- You do?
- I do, yeah. I do.
305
00:13:07,517 --> 00:13:09,750
It's because lately
306
00:13:09,752 --> 00:13:12,708
I haven't made the effort to
be present in your lives.
307
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,480
- [CHUCKLES] Actually, Mom...
- No.
308
00:13:14,482 --> 00:13:16,750
Don't interrupt her. Maybe
that's why she abandoned us.
309
00:13:16,751 --> 00:13:18,499
[LAUGHS] No, I don't...
310
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:21,400
I don't think I abandoned you,
but... but I have been busy,
311
00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:23,799
and I haven't been connecting with you
312
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:24,880
as much as I would like to.
313
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,150
Well, you're forgiven, Mom.
314
00:13:27,153 --> 00:13:29,180
[SIGHS] What a beautiful word.
315
00:13:29,188 --> 00:13:31,179
- "Forgiven."
- Hmm.
316
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,499
Uh, it's not just you, Mom.
317
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,850
I mean... we have lives, too.
318
00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:38,059
I-I'm a newlywed and an
up-and-coming fashion designer.
319
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:39,250
- Mm-hmm.
- I have a new apartment.
320
00:13:39,256 --> 00:13:42,300
And Kris... has that kid.
321
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:48,379
Well, you know, that's why
Kristin understands this.
322
00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:50,890
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Look, the worst thing
323
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:55,540
a mother can do is to disappear
from her child's life.
324
00:13:58,600 --> 00:13:59,919
ED: All right,
325
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,610
listen up, everybody. One game.
326
00:14:02,613 --> 00:14:05,880
Three balls each. High score wins.
327
00:14:05,884 --> 00:14:08,722
All betting is forbidden, all right?
328
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,300
But your bets will be
paid after the match.
329
00:14:11,306 --> 00:14:13,899
All right, Mike, you're up.
330
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:15,179
Ready to do this, Greek?
331
00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:16,250
- Let's dance.
- All right.
332
00:14:16,252 --> 00:14:17,740
Oh, geez.
333
00:14:17,745 --> 00:14:19,314
Are you all right, Kyle?
334
00:14:19,315 --> 00:14:20,760
No, I-I'm a nervous wreck.
335
00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:22,486
I mean, you, the man who's
like a father to me,
336
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,619
playing Chuck, who's
an employee of the man
337
00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:25,900
who's like a father to me.
338
00:14:25,904 --> 00:14:29,201
Just relax. It'll be
over before you know it.
339
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,380
[GAME CHIRPS]
340
00:14:30,383 --> 00:14:33,247
♪ ♪
341
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:36,000
[DINGING, WARBLING]
342
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:48,847
♪ ♪
343
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,688
[DINGING AND CLACKING]
344
00:15:15,145 --> 00:15:16,958
[DINGING AND CLACKING]
345
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,561
[DINGING AND CLACKING]
346
00:15:36,562 --> 00:15:38,479
Hey, uh, hey, Greek,
347
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,960
you notice the score?
You're still behind.
348
00:15:39,961 --> 00:15:41,315
[DINGING AND CLACKING]
349
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:43,330
Stay out of my kitchen, Baxter.
350
00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:46,239
This is how we do it in the 612.
351
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,940
Nice try.
352
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:51,825
There's nothing you can say to
make Minneapolis sound badass.
353
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,779
[FIRE ALARM RINGING]
354
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:55,070
What the hell is that?
355
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,455
It's the fire alarm.
356
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,832
Oh, hell no.
357
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,589
- [DINGING]
- Fiddlesticks, everybody.
358
00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:04,099
What a shame, but-but safety first.
359
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,790
Everybody out, everybody out, come on.
360
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,440
Just finish up, finish up.
Keep going, keep...
361
00:16:07,447 --> 00:16:08,926
But I'm the head of security.
362
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:12,320
- The store is on fire.
- Unless it's a false alarm.
363
00:16:12,327 --> 00:16:14,419
[DINGING CONTINUES]
364
00:16:14,420 --> 00:16:17,379
I've got a lot of lettuce
riding on you, Mike.
365
00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:20,080
Huh? I thought you were a cinch to win.
366
00:16:20,084 --> 00:16:23,210
Thanks, Baxter. I couldn't
have done it without you.
367
00:16:23,213 --> 00:16:25,610
- Done what?
- Win.
368
00:16:27,158 --> 00:16:29,155
[DINGING]
369
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:33,909
Yes! [CHUCKLES]
370
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,020
- Sorry, Ed.
- That's all right.
371
00:16:36,025 --> 00:16:38,310
I'm out 45 bucks.
372
00:16:41,889 --> 00:16:43,835
- Congratulations.
- Ah.
373
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,297
Don't have a boob hat for you,
but you know what you do get?
374
00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:47,740
What?
375
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:50,139
A bunch of twitchy-fingered kids
376
00:16:50,140 --> 00:16:51,969
just wondering how good you really are.
377
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,700
- Aw, man.
- There you go, guys.
378
00:16:55,303 --> 00:16:56,910
The guy to beat.
379
00:16:56,912 --> 00:16:59,510
Ah. [CHUCKLES]
380
00:16:59,515 --> 00:17:01,550
Okay.
381
00:17:01,559 --> 00:17:03,520
Yeah. [LAUGHS]
382
00:17:03,527 --> 00:17:05,692
Uh, Baxter? Damn it.
383
00:17:07,423 --> 00:17:09,720
Et tu, sister?
384
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,589
Jen-Jen!
385
00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:17,850
Our little bird!
386
00:17:20,810 --> 00:17:22,119
[MOUTH FULL]: I don't
know what's happening,
387
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,800
but I love it.
388
00:17:24,649 --> 00:17:27,220
Ah. The girls excluded you
389
00:17:27,226 --> 00:17:29,080
from our weekend because
they were jealous
390
00:17:29,087 --> 00:17:31,070
of all the attention I give you.
391
00:17:31,072 --> 00:17:33,780
Isn't that awful?
392
00:17:33,783 --> 00:17:35,804
You don't look like
you think it's awful.
393
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,850
Oh! No, it's terrible.
394
00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:39,979
[GIGGLES]
395
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:41,959
Oh, they were just being petty.
396
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,250
Okay, look, I'm sorry.
397
00:17:43,251 --> 00:17:45,379
I'm sorry. It's just, my
daughters haven't competed
398
00:17:45,380 --> 00:17:48,800
for my affection since 2004. [LAUGHS]
399
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:50,470
A mother remembers.
400
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,840
Well, I'm-I'm sorry that
we were so selfish, Jen.
401
00:17:54,845 --> 00:17:57,367
We're honored to share
our mother with you.
402
00:17:57,368 --> 00:18:01,163
Thanks, because Vanessa is the
second-best mom in the world.
403
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,739
[SIGHS]: Yeah.
404
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:04,060
Well, I mean, you've...
405
00:18:04,070 --> 00:18:06,079
you never told us much about your mom.
406
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,139
Well, I lost her when
I was a little girl,
407
00:18:08,140 --> 00:18:09,699
and I don't like to make people
408
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:10,714
- feel uncomfortable.
- Mm.
409
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:13,080
Oh. It doesn't make us
feel uncomfortable.
410
00:18:13,089 --> 00:18:15,470
I mean, it totally did at
first, but-but not now.
411
00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:18,690
We would love to hear about her
412
00:18:18,694 --> 00:18:20,141
if you would like to share.
413
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,750
Well, my mom was a very elegant woman.
414
00:18:24,751 --> 00:18:27,080
- Very fashionable.
- Mm.
415
00:18:27,086 --> 00:18:30,439
For her birthday one year, I
bought her this beautiful scarf.
416
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,610
Oh, that's so sweet.
417
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:36,573
Not really. It turns out
she was allergic to wool.
418
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,419
She broke out in huge hives.
419
00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:39,540
One above her lip,
420
00:18:39,550 --> 00:18:41,536
- [LAUGHING]: another above her eye.
- No.
421
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,829
[LAUGHS]
422
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,130
She looked like that, uh, uh...
423
00:18:45,137 --> 00:18:48,251
Who's that sailor who's angry
who eats all the spinach?
424
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,950
- VANESSA: Oh, um...
- Popeye?
425
00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:51,260
- Mm.
- Yes! [LAUGHS]
426
00:18:51,268 --> 00:18:52,680
[VANESSA LAUGHS]
427
00:18:52,687 --> 00:18:55,430
But she refused to take off the scarf
428
00:18:55,431 --> 00:18:57,589
because it was from her little girl.
429
00:18:57,590 --> 00:18:58,760
[CHUCKLES]
430
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:02,580
I still remember her
saying, "No, I love it."
431
00:19:02,588 --> 00:19:04,750
[LAUGHTER]
432
00:19:04,757 --> 00:19:06,980
VANESSA: Yeah.
433
00:19:06,984 --> 00:19:08,410
Those were her last words.
434
00:19:08,419 --> 00:19:10,358
[GASPS] Oh, no.
435
00:19:12,047 --> 00:19:13,460
I'm kidding.
436
00:19:13,466 --> 00:19:14,904
Oh! [LAUGHS]
437
00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:19,110
Well, your mom sounds amazing, Jen.
438
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:22,285
She was. Thank you for asking about her.
439
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,496
We-we would love to hear more about her.
440
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,819
And you can tell us at the Abbott-Berry.
441
00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:28,919
- Go pack, because you're coming with us.
- [KRISTIN LAUGHS]
442
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,379
- VANESSA: Mm.
- Are you sure?
443
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:32,254
I heard that place is very expensive.
444
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:34,257
Oh, it's my treat.
445
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,427
- [PHONE RINGING]
- Ooh. Wonder who this is.
446
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:41,540
- Oh, hey, it's Eve!
- Don't pick up! Do not pick up!
447
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:51,559
Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man.
448
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,119
My good buddy Billy Shakespeare wrote,
449
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:57,300
"Some are born great,
some achieve greatness,
450
00:19:57,301 --> 00:20:00,050
and some have greatness
thrust upon them."
451
00:20:00,054 --> 00:20:03,180
Yeah, London in the swingin' 1590s.
452
00:20:03,182 --> 00:20:05,350
You could... you could still
453
00:20:05,351 --> 00:20:08,480
thrust your greatness
upon people. [CHUCKLES]
454
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,230
Yeah, it was a different time.
455
00:20:12,233 --> 00:20:16,330
But no matter how an all-time
great reaches the top,
456
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,650
they all face the same question.
457
00:20:17,655 --> 00:20:20,900
When is the right time
to pass on the crown?
458
00:20:20,908 --> 00:20:23,910
John Elway and Peyton Manning
timed it pretty good.
459
00:20:23,911 --> 00:20:27,359
They both won championships
and rode off into the sunset.
460
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,899
- [HOOFBEATS]
- Hyah! Hyah! Come on now!
461
00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:32,360
[CHUCKLES] No pressure, Flacco.
462
00:20:32,370 --> 00:20:33,450
[LAUGHS]
463
00:20:33,454 --> 00:20:35,720
[IMITATES INHALING, EXHALING]
464
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,210
But they were the exceptions.
465
00:20:40,219 --> 00:20:43,519
Usually we get Willie Mays
flopping around in center field
466
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,220
for the Mets like a grouper on a dock.
467
00:20:46,225 --> 00:20:50,359
Or the great Muhammad Ali
losing to Trevor Berbick.
468
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,350
Trevor Berbick?
469
00:20:52,356 --> 00:20:55,349
Sounds like a digestive problem.
470
00:20:55,350 --> 00:20:59,499
Hell, even my buddy Billy
Shakespeare hung on too long.
471
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:02,950
You ever seen a great production
of Two Noble Kinsmen?
472
00:21:04,285 --> 00:21:06,519
No.
473
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,499
You don't want to limp out like a lamb.
474
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,890
You want to still be
roaring like a lion,
475
00:21:11,893 --> 00:21:15,660
just not a Detroit Lion.
476
00:21:15,663 --> 00:21:18,579
And while it may be hard
to know when to walk away
477
00:21:18,580 --> 00:21:19,999
from the thing that made you great,
478
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,906
it's never the right time
to be finished as a person.
479
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:25,210
Life is a gift. Every day is a gift.
480
00:21:25,214 --> 00:21:27,359
That's why they call it the "present."
481
00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:30,030
And what you owe in return
for it is to keep growing,
482
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,500
keep learning, and keep getting better.
483
00:21:31,503 --> 00:21:33,334
And call your mom!
484
00:21:35,340 --> 00:21:37,289
Baxter out.
485
00:21:37,290 --> 00:21:41,920
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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