Original subtitles

It's always the same dream

I'm wandering Naked

In this strange Maze of hallways

And I feel this creeping sense Of impending doom

Like something terrible's About to happen

I pass my roommate

My Mom

My best friend Stella

Basically every significant person in my life

And they're all just staring at me

Like I'm some kind of museum display Behind glass

Then I see two people I've never met before

A mysterious unearthly Beautiful woman

And this red-haired girl

And they both seem to be Leading me deeper into the corridor

This is when I noticed

A black door

And I'm not sure why

But somehow I know that I've gotta Find out what's behind it

So I grabbed hold of the knob

Opened the door and discovered

A dumpster

I've had the same bizarre Fucking dream

Every night since I moved into The dorms last week

So now I'm wide awake

And, being 18 and perpetually horny

Anytime I have 5 idle minutes

My right hand automatically Takes over

Like it's got a will of its own

Sorry I'm just trying to be quiet

It's too hot to sleep anyway

How's the party?

Rad

I'm wasted

Nice

You should've come with us, dude

Everyone got crumped

Took their clothes off

Swam

The water was so warm

Mind if I sit?

Can I ask you something?

Sure - You're like gay, right?

Uhhh, I'm more Undeclared

What's it like exactly?

I imagine it's different from Being with a girl

It's way different

It's more...

Raw

Physical

I mean, cause you're intimately familiar

With plumbing, There's less mystery and guesswork

Like, You know exactly what to do...

And how it feels

Do you like, Kiss and stuff?

Of course

I've never...

Y'know, Kissed another guy before

Well, it's pretty fucking awesome

My roommate...

Plough me

Plough me with your monstrous tool!

So, yeah

I have an excruciatingly Hot, straight roommate

Wassup I'm Thor

Like the comic Yup!

And his name really is Thor

As in the superhero God of Thunder

With the giant hammer

I sleep naked I hope that doesn't weird you out

It's a perpetual torture

Plus of course he's a surfer, Dumb as a box of rocks

AKA, exactly my type

I'm like really into Gran Turismo 5

And before that I was into SOCOM

And oh yeah! Killzone!

I get with guys sometimes

Sexually I mean

And also, I like to surf

Do you surf, dude?

The guy sounds like a fucking asstard

My partner-in-crime Stella

Stella and I first met way back in 9th Grade

I refuse to do this assignment Cause you're

A sexist loser who has no fucking clue What you're talking about

Are you sure it's not straight love Or in love with another oblivious boy fixation?

It's just that I'm not sure How straight Thor really is

You said he was putting a load In some pinhead stryer last night

Yeah, but doing it with women Doesn't necessarily make him straight

Case in point

The fact that you randomly sometimes

Stick it in a girl does not mean anything

Beyond you Need to monitor your drinking

Here we go

Now he's your typical straight guy, right?

When it comes to sloppiness, and manners

And scratching his balls In public

Or like eating half a piece of pizza On someone's coffee table

However, he also does Stuff like that...

He wears deodorant every single day

And he exfoliates every night

Religiously, with one of those vibrating Derma-brasion things

Plus, he's a little too

Into his own body Like beyond a normal

Straight guy who works out Admiring his self kinda way

Are we done?

No I saved the weirdest thing for last

He wears flip flops like Almost everyday, right?

Very hetero, very dude, choice

Except for the fact He has a whole collection of them

Which he keeps in a color coordinated row

In his closet

Wow, except from putting a dick in your mouth

With Lady Gaga playing in the background

That's about as gay as it gets

See? I told you

Smith, I'm kidding

It's all cute and fun When you're 15

But we're legal adults now

In college

Anyway

I gotta get to class

Me too Where are you headed?

Imagination Theory

I'm beginning to wonder if being an Art major in a college of Creative Studies

Is a little too hippy dippy Even for me

Hey, dudes!

The Messiah

Our pothead RA who is baked 24/7

What's goin' on?

We were just on our way to class

That's cool

I'd a really freaky dream last night

We'd love to hear all about it But...

Both of you Were in it

And the whole world...

Blew up

In a horrible nuclear catastrophe

Great, thanks Messiah Goodbye

Majoring in Film Studies Is something I wanted to do all my life

Eventhough it is a little anachronistic

Considering there is real doubt As to whether cinema

As we know will even exist Anymore in the next few years

It's kinda like devoting your life

To studying an animal That's on the verge of extinction

Smith, college is just an intermission between

high school and the rest of your life

It's 4 years of having sex

Making stupid mistakes And experiencing stuffs

It's a pitstop Not the second coming of the Messiah

Speaking of, it was sorta bizarre What the Messiah was saying this morning

No kidding

What's that guy's deal? He's gotta be like 30 at least

Yeah I've been having Weird dreams lately too

What do you think it means?

It's a well-known fact that dreams are just

Your brain taking a dump at the end of the day

It don't mean anything

Hey dude

Let me guess

Thor Wassup?

Thor, this is my best friend Stella Stella, Thor

Mind if I join?

Whatcha major in, Stella?

Art

Oh really? Cool

Yeah Cool

Are you gay, or whatever too?

Or just like...

Normal?

Hey, Messiah

Smith!

Got something for you

What is it?

Someone slipped it Under my door this morning

You Are The Chosen Son

What does it say?

"The Chosen Son?"

What the crap's that supposed to mean?

I have no idea

Oh, hey dude

What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

Trying to suck your own dick?

Bingo

I've been reading on the Internet

That if you do these Flexibility exercises twice a day

You'll be able to give yourself A blowjob in 3 weeks

I'll email you the link

That's ok - You sure?

It's a useful skill to have, y'know?

In case you hit a dry spell... You ever taste your own cum?

Not a whole load, mind you? But y'know if you

Shoot really hard and some gets In your mouth by accident

Mine's not bad actually

Kinda vanilla-ish - Really, can we change the subject?

Oh, bro!

What's it with you and your friend?

Who, Stella?

Yeah, the uptight dyke

Yeah I know she can be a little aloof When you first meet her, but she's actually

Super hot In a bitter, edgy les kinda way

You think I have any shot At hitting that?

I just threw up a little In my mouth

I know Hello I'm obsessed with you

And you're into my vagitarian best friend?

It's like I told you That guy's a toad

I've met plants With better personalities

And what do you make of him Trying to blow himself... this afternoon

He likes having a sword swallowed Not exactly a revelation

So anyways The party tonight

You're going

Lorelei, this hot girl from my Emotion Painting class invited me

Lorelei?

As in legendary siren luring Helpless sailors to their doom?

Yeah I know

She's gorgeous and I need a wingman So you're drafted

So that you can hook up And ditch me after 5 seconds?

Basically

Nice hat by the way Are we in Paris?

Well, it's about time asshole - I know

It's been awhile I'm sorry, I've just been super busy

Don't worry bout it, hon I work my ass off

Keeping a roof over your head For the past 18 years

How's college life?

Oh, shit, sweetie

That's Australia on the other line Can I ring you back in 15?

I'm going to a party with Stella I'll just call you later this weekend or something

Sure you will

There she is

Lorelei!

That's her?

I know Effing hot, right?

Smith, Lorelei... Lorelei... this is Smith

Have we met before?

No

I'm sorry, I...

Anyway... Shall we hit the bar?

Definitely

Are you gonna be okay? - Yeah I'll be fine

Just a minute

Can you hold on?

Can you hurry it up in there I'm gonna piss like a banshee

Hello, are you giving birth To a marine in there or what?

Finally!

What happened to your shoe?

A drunk girl barfed on it

Nice hat

Yeah Same to you

London

Huh? - I'm London

You don't expect me to shake that hand Before you wash it

Sorry gay dude

Excuse me?

Well you are, right?

What?

Gay

I don't really believe in Standardized sexual pejoratives

So you're bi? - Not exactly

You do it with guys and girls, right? Depending on which way your Peter points?

It's...

A little more...

Complicated

Life doesn't have to be so complicated Neither does sex

Are you okay?

What was the question again?

Do you wanna fuck?

What? - Do You Want To Fuck?

I just so happen to find queer guys hot So my thing

Dude, keep it simple

You, me, intercourse

Yes, no?

What?! I'll drive

What are you doing?

What do you think?

Maybe We should wait Till we get back to your place

Why?

It's kinda dangerous I mean I'm trying drive here

I live with danger

Me too

I'm gonna cum

Do it, do it Just let me do it more

Did you cum too?

No, it's kinda hard for me In that position

But it was really cool watching you

Wait You didn't cum?

Whatever, I'm good

What kinda guy are you?

If I didn't just have your dick inside of me I swear you didn't have one

I got this kinda weird thing

Where I'm really into making Whoever I'm with, cum

Now that Really turns me on

I happen to take pride In being scandalously great in bed

So if you think you're going Home without cumming

Forget it

Ahh, feels so good!

Oh God...!

Wait

Don't cum yet

I want to show you something

What?

Just lay back, and relax - Alright

Are you ready?

You're not even touching me But it's like I can feel your mouth on my...

Cool, huh?

How do you do that?

I have special talents

What do you mean?

That was so hot

I almost came again Just watching you

Don't get any ideas OrgasMomatic

I gotta get some sleep

What are you doing?

No offence dude...

I'm really not into the whole...

Sleepover breakfast thing

Here, gimme your number

So...

See you?

Help! They're coming! They're coming to get me!

Please! We gotta get outta here! Come on!

Wow Talking bout a bad trip

What kinda drugs were you on anyway?

That's just it I'm not sure

It was so vivid And real

I must have blacked out or something cause When I woke up

I don't know how much later The animal-masked men, the red-haired girl

They were nowhere to be found

Smith, you were hallucinating

I can't believe I let you drag me out of A very sexy dyke's bed for this

That's the other thing, How do you explain me seeing Lorelei in a dream

Before I even met her

Could be because there's more Lorelei Than meets the eye

What do you mean?

She's a witch

A... what?

She's a witch

Y'know... Supernatural powers, casts spells

I know Pretty cool, huh?

Dude, we've been searching All morning and found

No footprints, no blood, zilch - I know

And now you wanna spend the rest of the day

Poring over the entire student population In the campus directory?

You got something better to do?

Sucking a fart Out of a dead seagull's ass?

Stella! Stella! - I'm awake

100% awake

Come here

Are you sure that's her?

So what do we do now?

Start calling every O'Hara In the phonebook I guess?

And... Say what?

"Hi. I was tripping balls last night And you were in my dream"

What are you doing here? - I came to rescue you

Oh my God, Awesome

Smith...

Go ahead Bail

Hi, I was lookin' for a Madeleine O'Hara... Is there...

Okay, sorry to bother you Thank you

What are you doing?

Who is this?

The girl you fucked last night

Hi, sorry... - I repeat, what are you doing?

I was kinda in the middle of something Right now

I'm stressed about this exam I have on Monday

I was thinking

I could really use a good orgasm

Thanks

I needed that

What?

Nothing

I just, I just think you...

Cool

Yeah? You're cool too

Now where are you going?

I told you I have a massive test Monday

And I'm still here

So that's it We both cum and you leave?

Pretty much Is there a problem?

Eventhough we just met

I feel...

This weirdly intense connection with you

I know Me too

Sure you can't stay A little bit longer?

Is that you...

Or Smith junior talking?

Both

As much as I love to help The two of you out

I gots to study

What's this?

Last night after I left your place

I was walking out By the lagoon and

What?

I know her

What?

I know her Know her

She was in my Sociology class

She was always strung out Totally fucked up

Last week she passed out in the middle of a lecture

And what happened?

Paramedics came and took her away

Well, last night

I had this insanely intense

Vision of her getting murdered

By 3 guys in animal masks

Did you say animal masks?

Why?

Oh, sorry

You guys boning?

I was just leaving

I'll call you

Hi

Errr... can you move your Fat ass out of my way?

Thanks

I'm Thor By the way

Yeah I'm sure you are

Who was that?

Wow I think that broke my all-time record

You tired already?

We've been going at it For 5 hours

I mean I love sex As much as anyone else

But if I cum anymore tonight My crude is just gonna break

But I wanna make love again

You're kidding, right?

What are you? Some kind of insatiable sex maniac?

Too bad, I'm beat

Buzzkill

What was that?

What What are you talking about?

I felt that Lorelei I know what you're doing, it's not...

Hello - Smith, what are you doing?

Walking home from the library

Why? What's wrong?

You gotta rescue me

It turns out Lorelei is a little bit crazy Like a shithouse rat

I told you There was something scary about her

Look I'm gonna make up An excuse about you

Having some kinda crisis That I'll meet you back at your place

Stella, what? What's going on?

She walked on

Stella... Stella are you in there?

I'm just peeing

What's taking so long?

I miss you

Be out in a sec

I gotta go... - Wait, Stel

Shit

Shit!

Help! Somebody help!

Smith? What's wrong?

The door

It was stuck

Are you alright, man?

Yeah... I'm fine

Who's there?

The Queen of fucking England Who do you think?

Get in!

- What the...? - Just come here quick

What? - Look!

Yeah that's a beautiful parking lot Smith

They were just down there

Who? What are you talking about?

The animal masks men

You mean the ones you hallucinated?

I'm not hallucinating now

I think that something really Fucking freaky is going on

Oh, sorry Were you two...

Gross! No

You must be Smith's new girlfriend

Huh? - She's kidding

Madeleine O'Hara, the red-haired girl...

London says she was in her Sociology class And then went missing about a week ago

Well that's why I came by

She may have turned up

What do you mean?

Is Oceanography, that building past

Madigan Hall Way out on the west side of campus

Right by the lagoon?

I don't know What's going on?

It could just be a coincidence

But I was studying tonight In the library

And there on the floor

I saw this...

Unidentified Headless Female Torso Found In Oceanography Department Dumpster

Days passed

I searched the news religiously but There was no word on the body in the dumpster

I started to wonder If maybe I really was losing my mind

To clear my head I went to this nude beach

A few miles from campus

I've never been to One before in my life

So one morning before class I checked it out

I gotta say It was a little nerve-wracking

But kinda liberating

Lying there with the sun, and the breeze The smell of the ocean

All my worries All the weird shit going on

Everything melted away

But then...

How's it goin'?

Mind if I join you?

Hunter

Smith

You come here often?

This is my first time

I didn't think I'd seen ya around

You in school?

Yeah. You? - Fuck, no

I build and design hot tubs

Oh really?

Wait...

Do you like Do this a lot?

What do you mean?

This...

Oh, hey dude!

What's going on? - Teaching this fag a lesson

Yeah, who's teaching who yeah fag?

Smith, this is my best bud Rex Rex, Smith

Wassup, man

Well I was just gonna grab a shower

Alright hey man, if you want it you should try

Some of that awesome new conditioner I just got

It's the one on my sofa With the French name

Listen to yourself You sound like a huge fucking fag!

Ok fag, that's it! I'm kicking your giant homo ass!

Who's the fag now huh?

You, faggot fag steak!

What's that? - Fag burger with a side of fag fries

Yeah... I'm just gonna...

You meet some guy on the nude beach

And 5 minutes later, you're downloading his hard drive in the back of a van?

You're a slut

Really?

So did you dump Lorelei yet?

I'm trying to pull away But she's not exactly making it easy

You're not inviting me in?

I'm kinda tired And I have a super early class tomorrow

Is something wrong?

No, I'm just tired

Aren't you gonna kiss me goodnight?

Uhmmm... Sure

Well, ummm... Goodnight

I love you

Yeah... Me too

I know I have to end it But my experience with psychopaths

Like her You have to ease away very gradually

The sooner the better Before she pulls something really nutty

I told you nothing's wrong I just gotta finish this project

You're not avoiding me Are you?

Of course not

If you're lying That would make me very upset

I'm not lying babe

Look, I need to get back to work

I'll call you tomorrow, alright?

What time tomorrow?

After class

I'll be counting the minutes

Okay - I love you

Me too

Goodnight

Hi, Smith

I hope you don't think This is too creepy stalker of me

But I'm too much of a social retard to Walk up and say Hi like a normal person

In case you're wondering

I got your e-mail from the Explosions in the Sky's Facebook page

So at least We have this much in common

Anyways I was wondering If you maybe wanna get together

Have coffee or something

If not, then uh...

Have a great life I guess

Okay, I'm gonna stop now before I chicken out and toss this in the trash

Yeah, I'm Oliver By the way

So I've been meaning to ask

The other day when I mentioned The animal masks guys

You seemed kinda weirded out

It seems appropriate

It's a weird story

Is it your Mom?

How did...

Your face

My Mom's okay She did the best she could

Raising me on her own... Working full-time

What about your Dad?

He died in a car accident When I was a baby

I'm sorry

I never knew him so it's kinda like I don't even have a father

I don't see my Dad either He was an alcoholic

Abandoned us when I was little

I guess we have more in common Than we thought

What are you looking at now?

It's just my roommate's friend

Smith's got a crush!

I do not have a crush

You're hooked for him like you're Hooked for that shaved egg roommate of yours

When I walked in They were both rolling around

On the floor Wrestling in their underwear

Straight guys are gayer than gay guys The fact that they're in love but can't

Suck each other's dick Makes them queerer than Clay Aiken

What... What are you doing?

I inviting him over

Chillax Just having some fun

Here he comes

Hey

Rex, this is my friend London London, Rex

You look lonesome Want some company?

Sure Thanks

We were just talking about sex

She's kidding

So Rex, Have you ever heard of the Kinsey scale?

It's a rating system For sexual orientation

0, being totally hetero And 6, 100% gay

Smith here is probably a 3 or 4

While I'm like a 1.5

Why don't we talk about something else?

Kinsey discovered that only 5 to 10% of the population are at 6 or 0

What do you think your number is?

Zero I guess...?

Boring

You wanna fuck anyway?

Are you out of your fucking mind?

Dude don't worry I'll give you the 4-1-1 after

Okay

Excuse me?

Let's have sex

Just with you, though Right?

Yeah, that's it!

Oh don't stop You're doing great!

Are you joking?

Sorry - I've had pelvic exams last longer than that

It's just... You felt so good

What are you, 14? Wow!

I'll be hard again in a few

And it lasts way longer The second time around, I swear

Oh joy!

In the meantime I'll eat your pussy or something

This just keeps getting Better and better doesn't it?

C'mon Let me make it up to you

Yeah that's it, baby I just want to make you feel good

What the hell's going on down there?

What do you think you're doing? - Eating you out

Dude, it's a vagina not a bowl of spaghetti

I don't know What your fucking problem is

But I've gone down on lots of girls And never had any complaints

Maybe they're faking it to Spare your fragile male ego?

Look, you want a few Constructive pointers?

I don't need pointers

Trust, you so do

And you know what a clit is, right?

Yeah I know what a clit is

Think of it as a little girl dick

And treat it accordingly Imagine what your dick likes

Kiss it, tease it with your tongue

Suck it, even nibble it a little

Just make sure you true-to-God Treat it with the utmost care and respect

Which brings us to the number one Golden rule of oral

Pay attention to how she's reacting

If she seems into something

Keep doing that same thing Over and over and over

It's about finding the rhythm she likes And sticking to it until the job is done

Got it

You want a practical?

So ready

Well, get busy son

Hey - So we hooking up or what?

Excuse me?

I thought maybe you might wanna have sex so

that You can do Rex via the transfer property

If A fucks B, and B fucks C It's like A fucks C by default

As appealing as you make that sound I'll pass

You're not curious?

About...

What Rex is like in bed

Oh hey - Hey

I just came by to pick up some stuff

Is everything alright?

Yeah Totally

Well late

See ya

What was that about? - I don't know, got me

What is it?

I set a Google Alert For any news of the dead girl in the dumpster

Did they finally identify her? - Maybe

What?

It's gone - What's gone?

The torso

Someone stole it From the coroner's office

Today's the day

My 19th birthday

My morning starts out Like any other

But very quickly Weirdness takes over

And now what begins? - The hell if I know

It's just freaking me out Because the minute I woke up

I was overwhelmed by this vague sense

That some sort of Major shift has occurred

Well I finally did break up with Lorelei this morning

Yeah How did that go?

Yikes Then what happened?

This isn't over Stella

You have no fucking idea What you're getting yourself into

So are you worried?

Does Mel Gibson hate Jews?

Anyway, let's change the subject

Any word yet from what's-his-name?

Oswald? - Oliver

No, I spent literally hours honing my reply of a masterpiece

That's definitely interested but Not too desperate for this

How long's it been?

Three days

I know

So, don't forget

We're seeing Helen Stellar Tonight over in Ocean City

That's right!

Fuck me!

Smith! What happened?

Smith stepped into dog shit

And it's his birthday

Happy fucking birthday!

Could this day get any worse?

Hello? - Smith?

Hi, who is this?

Hunter

Who?

Hunter From the beach?

Oh hi, sorry I didn't recognize your voice

That's okay Just playing back

In my mind the good time we had

Started getting a chub Just thinking about it

So, I'm sure you have an important class Or something to go to?

I'm totally free all afternoon

Sweet Wanna come down?

I'm on my way

I'll fuck you

Just a second!

Hold on!

Hey!

Dude, you don't have to hide your porn I'm not your Mom

What do you mean?

Like you think the unmistakable sound of gay porn Doesn't penetrate these walls?

Alright, biatch

You made your point

So I gather your tawdry hook-up At the beach was a bust?

His cell went just when He was going down on me

It's my wife

You're married? - Yeah, I thought I told you

Gotta run, we'll take care Of this guy later

Can you believe it?

Since it's you Yes

Anyway... Happy Birthday monkey-spanker

What's this? You already got me The Helen Stellar tickets

Shut up and open it already

Oh my God... How did you...

I contacted them through their website and they autographed it for me

This is so awesome Thank you

What are you doing right now?

Uhmm, I'm just Talking to Stella

Can you meet me in my room In 20 minutes?

I have a birthday surprise for you

This is making me a little uncomfortable

Do you want your surprise Or do you want to complain?

I'm not complaining

I really appreciate the effort But...

London?

London, c'mon This isn't funny

Chill pill I'm right here

Can you please take The blindfold off?

Seriously, you've had enough fun for...

Happy birthday

So epic

I know, I'm not gonna Be able to hear for a week

I must admit after a shaky start

This may be the best birthday ever

Smith?

I thought that was you

Hey It's Oliver

Well, I'm just...

Uh huh I'll meet you back at the car

So...

I just wanted to say...

Eat shit and kill yourself

Wait, what the fuck is that? You're pissed at me?

Just next time someone puts Their balls on the line like that

At least be man enough to respond!

I did respond, I sent an email That was so long

And overbaked I thought I scared you off

Dude, I'm already over it

You don't have to lie

I'm not lying, I did want to go out with you I still do

Are you fucking with me now?

No

Just let me take you to dinner And I'll prove it

Here, so we don't have To rely on emails

Gimme your number And I'll give you mine

I have a huge paper due Friday

But that night I'm totally open

Me too

Cool

So It's a date

You aren't gonna...

Flake again, are ya?

I'm calling you No matter what

Even if the world ends

I better get back to my friends They're probably wondering what happened to me

Alright

See ya

So should I call him?

What?

Should I give Oliver a call, just to say "Hi, it was nice running into you"

Good idea, let him know you're a need-ball freak Right off the bat

Really?

Smith, the universe is finally smiling on you And everything is going your way

Don't fuck it up - Yeah right, okay

Can you pull over at the next stop I haveta pee like a pregnant woman

Hello?

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

I didn't mean to

Are you alright?

Yeah

I was just dozed off

Do you remember me?

I think we've met before

At a party

I've never seen you before In my life

You barfed on my shoe

And later that night

I saw three men In animal masks...

I don't know what you're talking about

Are you sure?

Look I told you...

I don't know anything

Please I gotta go

Madeleine?

Madeleine O'Hara

What do you know About the animal-masked men?

You gotta tell me

I had a twin sister

Named Rebecca

And when we were little...

Men in animal masks Came and took her away

Dude, you already googled Rebecca O'Hara

On your BlackBerry And got a million hits of nothing

Deal with it tomorrow

You're right. Let's just try to enjoy Whatever's left of my birthday

So how does it feel to be 19?

Now what is it?

Nothing I'm just tired

So, any more crazy messages From Lorelei?

Well, seems to have died down a little So that's promising

Who knows Maybe I was over-reacting

I mean I know how hell hath no fury and all But could be, she's

Not as bonkers as we thought

Stella What's wrong?

I don't know, do you think Maybe I'm being too much of a wimp?

Dude, you have a Fatal Attraction stalker

With supernatural powers You've got every right to be creeped out

Yeah, okay Sold

I'm gonna give you the bed, lady

You want an Ambien? - No

Thank you. After the day we've had Don't think

I'm gonna have any trouble falling asleep

Me neither, but I wanna be so knocked out I don't want how many more gnarly nightmares

So where's Board Knight?

He disappears sometimes For a few days

I assume he's off somewhere Burying his bone in some...

Smith c'mon That's not funny

Smith, I'm not kidding Cut it out

Smith, what the fuck You're freaking me out, stop it

It's not Smith

Smith, stop fucking around

Stella, I told you

It's not Smith

I warned you Stella

I warned you not to do this

Fuck you, Lorelei

This isn't real

This isn't really happening - Oh it's happening alright

Believe me...

It's happening

I'm dreaming I must be dreaming

Wake up! Wake up, c'mon...!

Wake up...!

Till Death Do Us Part

Lorelei! I know you're out there!

Stop hiding and show your fucking face You fucking coward!

Fuck you, you crazy bitch! You hear me? Fuck you...

Fuck you!

Holy fucking shit!

Why are you...

I was up all night I didn't sleep at all

Smith, what's going on?

I woke up In the middle of the night...

And I found this IM

Telling me to go to this address

You ever heard of the New Order?

The seminal New Wave band from the 80s?

No Here, I'll show you

It's like this secret underground cult

What?

The address It's not in my browser history

Are you sure you weren't just Having some kinda sugar-induced nightmare?

Stella, I'm not making this up

It's gone, all of it The site, the IMs

Stel, I'm not crazy I was on this site

It had a list

Of all these ostracized members

Number 1 on the list was...

Her name was Rebecca Novak

Rebecca, as in the name of The red-haired girl's twin

So why does she have a different Last name?

I don't know Maybe she was adopted or something

Anyway...

That Rebecca girl

she had this whole litany of transgressions

Blasphemy, sedition, treason

And her penance

Was death

And there's something else Even weirder

On the website, they had a photo Of the cult's leader

Like their L. Ron Hubbard The whole thing

The Supreme One

And he looked like...

My Dad

What the fuck are you talking about Your Dad is dead

I found this in the trash When I was little

I always kept it a secret

The guy on the website That's him

I know it

Oh Milo... It hurts so good

Tight session You were really in the zone today

I had a lot of tension to work out - I could tell

So is there anything else I can do for you?

Well for starters You can get out of those fucking clothes

Now what?

Oh I've got a few ideas

And they're absolutely Filthy

Oh oh Hold that

Hello? - Mom?

Smith, I'm in the middle of a meeting Can I call you right back?

It's kinda important It's about Dad

What about him?

I just got a couple of questions - Alright

He died when I was a baby, right?

Yeah, in a car accident You know all this already, what's going on?

Mom, I just have to know Is there anything you're not telling me?

No, there is not This chapter of our life has been closed

For a long time

What was Dad's last name?

Did he go by any other aliases?

Smith, look I'm hanging up now okay?

Stop asking questions about your father

For your own good

Mom, wait...

London?

My Dad's alive?

He got his PhD in psychology

His research focused on an obscure

Community of hippies Devoted to this book...

An Ideal for Living

Your father spent years studying the techniques

That leaders use to control the group

In the early 90s, he took the cult head for himself

How do you know all this?

My father wasn't an alcoholic He was in the cult too

Ever since I can remember My Dad would disappear

Then one night When I was around 10

We never saw him again

And what does all this Have to do with me?

You're the first-born male child Of the Supreme One

The Chosen Son

What about you?

Did you know who I was All this time?

So that night we met At the party

I was following you

But only because I was hoping You might be able to lead me to my father

But our friendship, Everything that's happened since then

None of that was planned

You believe me, don't you?

I'm not sure what I believe in anymore

Messiah!

The end...

The end is near

Hello?

So you're saying, her body just Vanished into thin air

It was the freakiest fucking thing One minute I'm checking her for a pulse...

She seems dead Cold as stone

So I run out to grab my cell to call 9-1-1

And by the time I got back I swear it was like 10 seconds later

She's gone

I know it sounds nuttier Than squirrel shit

Well, strange seems to be The new normal lately

What about Messiah?

Did the doctors say He was just tripping or what?

His pupils were like Big black suns

They're running a bunch of tests

Smith?

Mom What is it, what's wrong?

I need you to drop whatever you're doing And come home immediately

What... What are you talking about?

I can't say anything more

They're probably listening to us Right now

Who's listening?

Mom, are you in some kinda danger? Maybe you should call the police

No, no police, they can't be trusted They're part of it

Look, no more questions okay?

Just get in your car And come home

Smith, I'm not kidding

Do it Now!

Smith, don't worry I'm sure your Mom Will explain everything when we get there

I just can't stop thinking about

What the Messiah said

You mean all that "End is Near" shit?

Stella, I have the exact same feeling

And it keeps getting progressively More and more intense

Like...

What if this really Is the beginning...

Of the end?

Hello

Smith, where are you?

Dude, me and Stella are driving To L.A. for the night

Actually it's a family emergency

Is everything okay?

Hope so What's going on?

Well, I just called the hospital

The Messiah's gone

How could someone who's barely even conscious Just up and disappear?

Nobody knows what happened to him

That's not the only thing

What?

The results of his toxicology Report came back

They discovered traces of dioxin in his bloodstream

Dioxin?

You mean, Like that Russian spy dude?

Yeah The Messiah was poisoned

Are you sure You're gonna be alright?

It's just I don't know how my Mom's gonna

React and it might be touchy feely family...

Don't worry about me

Just call or text whenever The coast is clear

Thanks Stel

For everything

Smith, everything's gonna be fine

Mom?

Hello?

Smith, you alright?

Come on, let's get outta here!

Smith, hurry up!

What are you doing? What is it?

London? Smith, I was just about to call you

There's something really weird going on

What do you mean?

All the highest-ranking members of The New Order seem to be heading out of town

It's a mass migration

We're heading back now

Listen

I have something major to tell you

I think my Mom's been kidnapped

What? - She's missing and we found her Blackberry

And there's all this information on it

What kind of information?

A bunch of incriminating documents about My Dad and the New Order

It's so much huger Than just some sick little cult

It's like this whole secret society and

Infiltrating the media, government Even the police are involved

But look, that's not all

My Dad had dozens of wives

Like he basically slept with Anyone in the cult he wanted

As a result, he has all these Illegitimate children

And he's your biological father

And you're my half-sister

London

London, are you still there?

I'm here Smith

Look, you just need to get back here Soon...

London?

London, what's going on? What's happening?

London...

London Open up!

Fuck!

This always works on my room

First The Messiah, then my Mom, now London What's fucking next!

What are you gonna do?

We gotta get outta here, just pack some stuffs In a

bag, I'll meet you in your room in like 5 minutes

- What? - Stel, just do it!

Five minutes, hurry And watch your back!

Mom, what happened Who did this to you?

What are you waiting for? We don't have all night

Blow me, fag Who made you queen for the day?

Dudes, seriously

This is no time for dicking around

Smith? Smith?

Messiah? Jesus, you gave me a freakin' heart attack

Stella, there's no time to explain Where is Smith?

I think he's been kidnapped

Fuck! - Messiah, what the shit is going on?

Come with me I'll explain on the way

On the way where? What are you talking about?

Stella, we may already be too late Just come on

Welcome back, dude

What is this?

Finally!

The Chosen Son awakes

Can someone please tell me What the fuck is happening?

It's Day Zero

What the hell is Day Zero?

It's New Order codespeak For the day the world ends

Dude I'm sure you heard it before But you gotta cut way back on your weed intake

As a matter of fact...

I've never touched that stuff

The stoner thing was just a front

I'm actually part of a covert group Operation called The Resistance

And it's our mission, to wipe out The New Order once and for all

Oliver?

So lemme get this straight You guys are both ex-members

Of the New Order who are Now like spies trying to destroy it?

In grossly simplified terms Yes

My girlfriend Rebecca Is also in the movement

Rebecca Novak?

The red-haired girl

She's your girlfriend?

She was

Before she was murdered

The cult performs secret initiations Involving underage girls

Who are either abducted or donated By their fucked up parents

Rebecca was working undercover Videotaping the rituals for the FBI

Smith saw that video It was on the USB drive he said got stolen

We suspect Thor and Rex are responsible for that - Thor?

And Rex?

So all 3 of you have been Spying on me this whole time?

Dude, you're the Chosen Son

We have to monitor and report Your every move

Hers too

Where are you taking us now?

Go ahead, tell him

Tell me what?

We're taking you To meet your father

Where are they Oliver? Do you see them?

Yeah, I got them They're heading east on I-10

You're some kinda witch too? Like Lorelei?

The New Order tests all its members' Offspring for the "gift"

A certain type of brain activity indicating a predisposition

For paranormal ability

Subjects displaying a high level Of this marker

Are inducted into a program with Intensive psychotropic treatment

To cultivate those skills

And that's what happened to you?

And Lorelei?

Some come out of the program Severely damaged

With a laundry list Of personality disorders

Others don't make it at all

Smith's gift is exceptionally strong

Smith has psychic powers too?

They're just dormant Like seeds that haven't germinated

Now that he's turned 19

It looks like the Prophecy Is coming true

What's the Prophecy?

It's based on a recurring dream Of your father's

The Chosen Son will return to the fold In its 19th year

And the world as we know it

Will be destroyed in a nuclear holocaust

You're shitting me

The New Order has warheads Strategically planted in every major city in the world

World War 3 can be started With the push of a button

But won't they obliterate Themselves in the process?

The cult has a massive underground lair Called the Secret Sanctum

Specially designed to survive A nuclear disaster

So after the great Apocalypse

The New Order will be all that's left

When the Prophecy transpires You'll inherit the Kingdom

You're gonna be like The Prince of the new fucking world

Well if that's true Why am I tied up

Why do London and my Mom Have their mouths taped?

Sorry, man We're just following orders

Though I guess now that we're out

In the middle of nowhere It's probably okay to let them get some air

What do you guys think?

Why not? But if either of them mouth off I reserve the right

To plug their face - whole With my cock

Don't worry

I'll do it nice, and slow

So it won't hurt

Thanks, arse hat

No problemo

Grab her, fucking douche! - I'm trying!

Look, is that them?

That van belongs to a Level 4 Night Assignment Smith

So, yes

Well then What the Jesus are you waiting for?

Floor it!

Who's the girl now?

What the fuck's wrong With you pussies?

Jesus! She's a fucking girl!

Dude, come on! Get her!

What the...

Pull over!

Kiss my fucking starfish Homo!

What are you doing?

Hang on!

Are you fucking kidding?!

You couldn't pick a smoother road?

What the hell?

Look out!