Original subtitles

(both grunting)

Hold your fire! We got them.

Put down the memory drive and maybe we'll let you live.

Nick fury? Black widow?

Okay, now I know you're messing with me.

You could've handled a couple of m.O.D.O.K.'s a.I.M. Goons

With your other eye closed.

I wanted to talk.

You only return my calls if you smell a fight.

That's not true.

Okay, that's true.

What do you want to talk about, boss?

The memory drive!

This?

(grunts)

I got him! Ahh!

We need to talk about your new playmate.

One in particular.

(yells)

(roaring) (video game noises)

(growls)

(grunts)

Ugh! Why are the buttons so small?

Hawkeye: Come on, it's about finesse,

Not growling and pounding things.

(growls)

Just a game, hulk...

That you lost. To me...

Again.

Jerk.

The hulk is the hulk.

He growls, eats like a pig, and smashes.

Pretty straightforward.

And have you formulated a straightforward plan to take him out...

If he ever loses control?

What did we just steal?

Under m.O.D.O.K.'s leadership,

A.I.M has been experimenting with gamma energy.

If they can make a hulk,

Maybe s.H.I.E.L.D can reverse engineer the tech

To stop a hulk.

But hulk's with us.

(grunts)

Call me over-cautious,

But I think a rampaging rage monster should have an off-switch.

Don't you?

Let's see if he wins this game.

Hey, mean green. Lend a hand?

What is it?

The science maybe a little over your head.

Just push while I test the thrusters.

(growls)

(hulk grunts)

Iron man: I said push, not pulverize.

Your instructions must've been over my head.

(grunts)

Hulk's alone. What do we do?

Let's have some fun.

If hulk ever lost control, it would be very, very bad.

We have no idea how strong he really is, natasha.

He's what fail-safes are invented for.

Good point.

I'll get you a contingency plan.

Huh?

If the hulk ever did lose control,

We'd all wind up smashed.

Blood brother 1: Hit him fast, hit him hard!

Drop that freak, blood brother-style!

(hulk roars)

(strains)

(roars)

(horn honks)

Ha! Isn't every day the blood brothers

Get to hit someone who gets back up again.

If you like that,

Wait till I start hitting back!

K.O. Time?

Not yet.

What's the deal?

New episode of christmas colors gone wild?

They want to smash. Hulk smashes better!

You're the best there is at what you do.

I'm the only one that gets to knock out hawkeye!

Now? Not yet.

(captain america clears throat)

Mind if we tag in?

It's like a mutated christmas tree threw up all over 23rd street.

All ready cracked that one. And something else. Ow.

Want to fight?

(grunts)

(straining)

Huh?

(grunts)

Ahh!

The blood brothers,

Alien wrestling washouts.

Now they're intergalactic thugs for hire.

Now?

Yeah, now.

(buzzing)

Sayonara, suckers.

(electricity crackles)

Hulk, let me see that.

(roars)

(crackling)

(screams)

They're trying to cover their escape.

Iron man: Hulk, disengage.

We have to scan that thing on your...

Oh, who am I talking to?

Stop!

(roars)

(electricity crackles)

(groans)

Is it a weapon?

It's using the hulk's gamma energy to power up.

Bio-tanks.

(growls)

Falcon, funnel now!

(coughs)

Oh, boy.

(coughs)

No.

Hawkeye!

Ah!

(roars)

I funneled that gas into space.

What was it?

Whoa! That's not good.

Thank you, falcon.

Stupid falling cars.

The gamma genome project! My biological prototypes are gone!

There's only two people who had the security card.

Me and you! I am aware.

I took them.

What? Why would you do that?

The subjects were too unstable!

Your a.I.M agents couldn't guard a simple memory drive.

I took matters into my own hands.

It is done?

You got what you paid for.

What about our mon...

Sit back and watch, m.O.D.O.K.

As I transform your failure into my success.

Hulk, turns out s.H.I.E.L.D doesn't trust you.

Got any weakness we can exploit?

Like that's gonna work.

Jarvis, open up.

Sorry, natasha, that's not such a hot idea.

We're feeling a little green around the gills in here.

You can laugh, go ahead.

I am laughing, inside. What happened?

Biological weapon, gamma energy.

We dispersed it into space

But not before catching a dose of "gamma flu" .

I'm running tests.

I'm coming in. No!

I mean, no, please.

Look, it's airborne.

When we came back, thor got infected too.

Tower's locked down until we can get this under control.

Sorry. Wait, what about the hulk?

(sighs)

Yeah. Like a lock has ever stopped me before.

Stay calm or I will smash you.

Calm? You tell me to stay calm?

We're out of pizza bagels!

Hmm? Huh?

(groans)

(rumbling)

Stupid doors! That's the fifth one!

Where you trying to go?

There are six more bathrooms. Concentrate.

Pretend the door knob is an egg.

Pretend everything is an egg.

(whines)

Wow.

Why am I so hungry?

I already ate all the pizza bagels in the freezer!

Hawkeye: Pizza bagels!

You just turned into a living reactor.

You need fuel.

Is this what it's like for you all the time?

Thor: I'm a monster!

Yeah, sort of.

(grunts) no!

So that's what it's like to live with me.

I'd hate living with me.

Iron man: Okay, biological.

Gamma. Gamma energy carried on...

Jarvis: I'm searching for the virus in your blood stream, sir.

Remember not... I know!

Tony. Natasha?

I told you to... Stop.

Clearly time is the enemy.

What's happening and how do I help?

It's a virus infused with gamma energy.

Once in the blood stream,

It simulates the effects of hulk-ish-ness.

Hulk-osity? Jarvis: Worse.

The virus is unstable.

If the gamma energy isn't dispersed,

It will build to critical levels.

And the avengers will detonate.

Don't interrupt me! (grunts)

Stupid computer.

Tony?

Stark smash!

(roars)

Stark fix! Leave stark alone!

(roars)

Last time,

Calm down or get knocked down.

Go to your happy place! (knuckles crack)

Listen to hulk. We have to wait for stark.

Falcon smarter than stark. He should be in that lab.

Uh, I mean, me.

Me should... (roars)

Want to cry about it?

Go home to momma and get me some cookies!

Leave him alone!

Enough!

Sit down and be... (grunts)

No command me!

(growls)

You aren't well, thor.

Hmm?

Oh, no.

(grunts)

(shield crashes)

It's different seeing me from your side.

That's why everyone's so mad at me all the time?

Widow! Always spying on us.

Fury's pet.

Easy, boys.

I need you to listen. You're sick.

If you don't get help, you'll... Well, explode.

No talk! Go!

(grunts)

(laughs)

(loud banging)

Hulk, this is an a.I.M viral weapon.

If we don't cure them now...

Boom.

Gamma expert, remember?

Fury: Widow?

Hold that thought.

Fury, this is not a good time.

How's the hulk contingency coming along?

Ready to give me the memory drive back yet?

Contingency plan?

Until five minutes ago, I was the only hulk in this tower.

You looking for a way to shut me down, too?

Hulk, I...

Make sure they stay inside.

They don't, you'll need that contingency.

Wait!

(sighs)

(grunting)

Want pizza bagels!

(roaring)

(sighs) this is gonna go well.

Hulk? Hulk, what are you doing?

Why are we in the middle of nowhere?

Talk to me!

Talk to you? Can't trust you.

Me? I...

Avengers or s.H.I.E.L.D? Fury or us?

I'm angry, not dumb.

I guess that's fair.

Tell the truth.

One. A real truth.

Before today, I didn't really trust you either.

I thought you were like a cornered animal

Ready to snap at the closest hand.

But while everyone else is acting like monsters, you're not.

You're the only one in control.

Always in control. Have to be.

Otherwise I'd be like them.

I'm not like them.

(grunts)

Banner made it.

I hid it.

It's light. What does it do?

Gamma energy siphon.

This will destroy the gamma virus

And avengers will go back to being puny.

Wait. What would this thing do to you?

I'm practically a gamma reactor.

Turn this thing on me, it would turn me to ash.

Come on, they're just gonna get stronger.

Understand the plan?

So simple even a s.H.I.E.L.D agent could handle it.

We sneak back into the tower and take them out one by one,

So long as it stays contained.

(loud explosion) what?

Avengers, smash!

New plan.

Avengers, smash!

Hulk: Widow!

(groans)

(gasps)

Huh?

(yells)

Huh?

Crush little spider!

(roars)

(grunts)

(captain america roaring)

I smash. You give them their medicine.

Hey!

Been waiting for this.

You won't enjoy it as much as I will.

Always worry about hurting people.

Always hold back.

Not now.

Now!

(grunts)

Hulk unleash!

Zap him!

Not me!

(strains)

(screams)

(strains)

(groans)

(all roaring)

Too many. Need to thin them out.

What were you thinking?

Do you trust me?

Yes? Then meet me on the street.

Whoa!

Hulk!

(gasps)

(growls)

(dog barks) here, flippy!

(grunting)

Take your time, widow.

(elevator bell chimes)

(sighs) playing with hulks is fun.

(grunts)

Me falcon gonna crush!

Right, work on that, kid.

(strains)

(growls)

(all grunting)

My turn.

(electricity crackles)

(strains)

(groans)

We're out of time.

They're going full gamma.

(both straining)

(roars)

Ah!

(grunts)

Thor is stronger!

Thor always stronger!

Fall you puny!

Iron man was right.

What?

Said your helmet looks stupid up-close.

(energy hums)

Be the scientist. Be tony...

Thor: Stark!

Thor's helmet accent features perfectly!

Recognize!

(grunts)

Huh?

(grunts)

(thor yells)

(roaring)

Hulk strongest there is!

You saw.

Thor owes me $5 when he wakes up.

That was easy.

Want to go punch galactus in the face for desert?

(chuckles)

(both moan)

It failed.

Not unlike his own teammates,

It appears we underestimated the hulk.

Be assured that won't happen again.

Walk me through this again, from the top.

Bad guy's plan foiled.

Heroes save the day.

Classic good conquers evil.

And just how exactly did you de-power the hulked-out avengers?

The avengers have a contingency plan for this sort of event.

Our resident expert, he's called the hulk.

Ugh. And the memory drive?

A little destroyed, sir.

An unexpected swim.

That's what you're putting in the report?

Okay then.

Good work not blowing up new york again.

You're not going to tell him about the device?

We're avengers, we watch each other's backs.

No matter how big and green those backs get.

Far as I'm concerned, this doesn't exist.

No, it exists.

But now someone I trust will know where I hide it, just in case.

Need a lift?

My car did get smashed.

(groans)

Do I have a killer headache.

Head? (stomach rumbles)

My stomach is killing me.

Feels like I ate a horse.

Honestly, does my helmet look stupid?

Never realized what it must be like to be him every day.

All that rage. That power.

And we couldn't do anything to contain it.

He said it before.

Hulk's the strongest one there is.

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