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{\an8}This programme contains strong
language and discriminatory language
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00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,400
{\an8}You got it?Yep. Sure you're OK
there? It's quite heavy.I'm fine.
3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,160
Listen, I'm just thinking...
4
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,200
..shall we get the Christmas tree
down while I'm up here?
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Yes, all right, I suppose we could.
6
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Right, I'll pass it down to you.
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Ready?Give me a minute!
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00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,920
Just watch yourself with it.
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00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,920
Yes, all right, Eric,
I'm not totally useless.
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Everything OK?
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00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,360
Yep, all fine.
12
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{\an8}Do you not think it's a bit
early to put it up?
13
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,800
{\an8}I mean, it's not even December yet.
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{\an8}Pfft, it's fine.
Who's going to notice?
15
00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,240
{\an8}KNOCKING
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Christine. That's me
definitely going.
17
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Going where?
18
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To Ireland.
19
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:12,000
For God's sake, Beth, do you not
listen to a thing I tell you?
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Of course I do. We're in
the middle of a big clear out
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00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:15,880
and I'm just a wee bit busy.
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00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,320
Right, OK, I'll come in and I'll
talk you through the arrangements.
23
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,000
But I cannot stay long.
24
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:23,400
Right.
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00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,280
Are you putting your
Christmas tree up?
26
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:29,760
It's a bit early, is it no?
27
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,440
Yes, well, we were up
in the loft anyway,
28
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,520
so we just thought we might as well.
29
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,320
Oh, you see, I always
follow what the church does,
30
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,840
and they put it up 12 days before.
31
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,920
No, you're thinking
of Twelfth Night.
32
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,560
That's when you take it down.
33
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,440
Yes, a church puts theirs up on
the first Sunday of December.
34
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:50,880
Do they? Mm.
35
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,640
Well, that's awful early.
36
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,120
I think I'll have to have a word
with Father Haggarty about that.
37
00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:00,080
I don't think it was ever up that
early in Father Kowalski's day.
38
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,280
But he really was a religious man.
39
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,600
Where is it he is now?
40
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,560
B&Q, Nitshill. Ah.
41
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,320
But I don't think I'll bother
putting up a tree this year,
42
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,760
what with me not being here.
What's this?
43
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,240
I'm going to visit my cousin
Dearbhla in Ireland
44
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,760
for Christmas, Eric.
45
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,320
Oh, it's fantastic, Christine.
46
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,000
Oh, I know, Beth.
47
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:25,080
And to think, if Dearbhla hadn't
sent that saliva sample off
48
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:29,400
to Ancestry.com we might never have
known that we were related.
49
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,800
Imagine if she'd had
a dry mooth that day.
50
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,160
Er, whereabouts are they?
51
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,280
County Galway, Eric.
Oh.
52
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,880
I get the train to Stranraer,
a ferry to Larne,
53
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:45,920
a bus into Belfast
and then coach down to Galway.
54
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,880
Oh! A bit of a trek, that!
55
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,280
So, er, will it be Dearbhla's
whole family?
56
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,400
Oh, yes.
57
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,760
Her husband, Eoin, now he's
got his own plumbing business,
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00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,840
so I will be looking
forward to a bath.
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00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,880
That's definitely on the list.
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00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:03,080
And then there's her twin girls,
Maeve and Aoife.
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00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:07,400
Aw. It'll be nice to meet them
because they're actually my...
62
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,600
What is it? My first cousins.
63
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,640
No, no, no, second.
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00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,320
Oh, aye, I'm forgetting
they're twins.
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00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,960
Well, you'll have a great time,
I'm sure.
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00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,480
Oh, I hope so, Eric.
67
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,480
I must say, I am looking forward
to it.
68
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:26,640
Although it will be strange not
being at home on Christmas Day.
69
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:31,240
Oh. I know you're always keen
to have me in here, Beth,
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00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:35,120
so I do feel a bit guilty
that I might be letting you down.
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00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,600
Are you sure you're
OK with me going?
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00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,320
You're all right... We'll be fine!
73
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,520
Well, I think it's time we get
down to discussing what bag
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00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:43,640
I'm taking, eh?
75
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,360
Ah, well, the thing is, Christine...
DOORBELL RINGS
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00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,720
Ah, who's this interrupting us?
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00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,400
That's no you got your Christmas
tree up already, is it, Beth?
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00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,360
Beth!Well, uh-huh...
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00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,080
It's a bit early, is it not?
Mm.Well, we were up in the loft...
80
00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,120
Do you know? Just let her
do it, Col,
81
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,400
it'll brighten up
that dingy front room.
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00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:07,560
I suppose so.
83
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,160
It's OK, Beth, that's fine.
84
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,520
If it gives you something
to look forward to, that's OK.
85
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,480
Should we go in and see it?
Oh....
86
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,520
She'll be put out if we don't.
You know what she's like.
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00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,200
Right, we'll just come
in for a minute and see it, Beth.
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00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,800
Apparently, the cooked
breakfasts onboard
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00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,320
the Stena Line are excellent.
90
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,440
Ah.Irene up the high flats told me,
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00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,760
they serve a black pudding that is
technically illegal on dry land.
92
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,680
Ah, here he is - wee elf here,
helping you put your tree up, Beth.
93
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,480
He's far too big for an elf, Col.
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00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,000
Oh, and there's Christine...
Ah.How are you doing?
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00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,680
Oh, no bad, Colin.
96
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,160
That is me all booked up
for Ireland for Christmas.
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00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,640
You're going to
Ireland for Christmas, are you?
98
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,480
Oh, yes, I'm staying with my
cousin, Dearbhla in Galway.
99
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:02,000
Oh, that's nice, you're not
going to be here, Christine.
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00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,800
You'll be having a bit of
the black stuff over there, eh?
101
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,640
Remember, we went to
the Guinness factory
102
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,080
when we were in Dublin, Cath?
103
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,040
Oh, God, that place?
Oh, I will not be going back there.
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00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,440
Oh, why not?
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Only serves fucking Guinness.
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00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,080
So is this you getting
all set for Christmas, then?
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00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,480
What's the plans?
108
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,240
Ah, well, nothing special.
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00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,560
It's just the two of us,
so just, you know, traditional.
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00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,920
Traditional?
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00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,440
Well, you've no made a very good
start putting your tree up
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00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,440
this fucking early.
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00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,400
And what about you two?
Do you know what you're doing?
114
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,040
We're going to that same hotel
again on Christmas Day
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00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,840
because we quite like it, don't we?
116
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,280
It's really festive
how they decorate it all.
117
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,520
And you get steak instead of turkey,
118
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,840
a cocktail instead
of Christmas pudding,
119
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:46,360
and there's a massive
smoking section out by the nativity.
120
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,480
The problem we've got is
we don't know what presents to get.
121
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,680
Well, I'm fine just with money.
122
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,280
No. I mean for each other.
123
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,240
Yeah, we're not getting you
anything, Eric.
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00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,440
You see, we've already got
everything, haven't we?
125
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,520
Mm.Oh, poor you, right enough.
126
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,440
I always get Colin
pants for Christmas
127
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,760
but I can't get any more
in the drawer.No.
128
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,920
And you can't exactly take the old
ones to the charity shop, can you?
129
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,880
No, they don't take them.
130
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,640
Well, certainly
the British Heart Foundation don't,
131
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,880
though Irene did tell me
about a website
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00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,520
where there seems to be
quite a lot of interest.
133
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,480
We were just going up
to the charity shop
134
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,880
once we'd finished the tree.
135
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,760
Are you getting yourself
something, Beth?
136
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,840
Well, it is finished, really,
apart from turning on the lights.
137
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,560
OK, then,
let's see the big switch on.
138
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,960
Come on, Eric,
up off your fat arse.
139
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:40,240
Here, Beth, this reminds me
of that time we saw Marti Pellow
140
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:43,040
switch on the lights in Clydebank.
Do you remember that, Beth?
141
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,320
I do.
142
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,520
I'm no actually sure whether
he was on the heroin at that point
143
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,080
because we were quite far back,
you know.
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00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,480
Right, are we all ready?
145
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,800
Aye. Yeah. Aye, go on.
Come on, Eric!
146
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,200
Oh...Oh.
147
00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,240
Ah, well, you know, you could
always stop by the dump as well.
148
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,400
I don't know how much longer
I'm going to manage
149
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,080
getting in and out
of this seat, Alan.
150
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,720
You want to start
getting in the back?
151
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,760
No, I mean you might
need to get a car
152
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,720
or get on my insurance or something.
153
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,200
Oh, aye, right, right.
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00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,920
I'm really starting to struggle
on the stairs as well.
155
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,640
You maybe chucked the gym too soon.
156
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,240
Look! Beth's got her Christmas
tree up.
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00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,400
Do you think we should go over
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00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,120
and say a wee quick hello
and see it?
159
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,000
Nah.
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00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,640
We've got a nice picture of us
in front of the Oscar Wilde statue
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00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,720
in Dublin, haven't we? Aye.
162
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,560
Oh, you know,
my favourite quote of his is
163
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,800
is when he was going through
customs in America and he said,
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00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,840
"I have nothing to declare
but my genius."
165
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,960
Well, I preferred the statue
of Molly Malone.
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00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,360
You go up, rub her tits,
brings you luck.
167
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,000
Oh, for God's sake.
168
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,320
I did as well.
169
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,520
We went to Temple Bar after that,
we didn't get hassled by one beggar.
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00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:09,720
Mm.
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00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,240
DOORBELL RINGS
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I'll go.
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00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,400
Oh, hello, you two!
174
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,120
Or should that be two and a half?
175
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,040
She's some size now,
in't she, Eric?
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00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:29,280
Train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne,
bus to Belfast, coach to Galway.
177
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,760
Oh, my God, I'd need a flight
to Switzerland after that.
178
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,920
That's a proper Irish
road trip, that.
179
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,360
It is, Colin.
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00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:40,120
But, do you know, I now feel I've
got a really deep connection
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00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:44,600
to Ireland, now that I know for sure
that I've got Irish blood in me.
182
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,960
If you're going to Galway, would you
no be better flying to Shannon?
183
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,440
Where's that?
184
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,920
Oh! Hi, Michelle. Hi, Alan.
185
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,120
Hi!
186
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,640
Hello, everyone.
187
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,680
Sorry to just appear
at your door, Beth.
188
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,520
Oh, don't worry about that,
no-one else does.
189
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,680
How are you, Michelle?
190
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,680
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
Just so tired all the time.
191
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,640
Oh, yeah,
you do look really knackered.
192
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,960
Come and sit down, Michelle.
193
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,600
Come on.Yeah, there we go.
194
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,120
Sit down there. How's you, Alan, eh?
Everything all right?
195
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,160
Aye, all right. Just back from
the garage with the van.
196
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,080
Oh, no, something wrong with it?
197
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,440
Somebody ran into the back of me,
Eric. Oh...
198
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,040
Oh, my God, what happened?
199
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,600
Were you eating a sausage roll
while you were driving, Alan?
200
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,040
No, I was coming off the motorway
to go through the tunnel
201
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:35,080
and there was a wee jam,
so I had to slow right down.
202
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,680
Next thing I know, somebody's
ran into the back of me.
203
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,680
Oh!And they'd be on their phone,
no doubt.
204
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,160
Aye. And see the force of it,
205
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,560
mine's flew right out my hand,
under the seat.
206
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,400
They took their time fixing it
at the garage, didn't they? Mm.
207
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,040
Alan was late picking me up
from antenatal class.
208
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,240
Oh, no.
209
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,680
Ah, it's fine, Beth,
you cannae see the dent at all.
210
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,120
So, anyway, how are you guys doing?
How's Ian?
211
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,840
Oh, he's fine, aye.
212
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,960
He's coming over to have a look
through his old stuff
213
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,120
before we junk it.
214
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,680
Are you trying to get rid
of every trace of him, Eric?
215
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,080
Have you any baby stuff, Eric?
216
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,440
Because maybe Alan and Michelle
might want that.
217
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:14,320
I remember she used to have him
in a lot of brown, Michelle.
218
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,640
Eric, it's fine. I've ordered
loads of stuff already, actually.
219
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:22,600
You know, all the wee babygrows
and the jammies and the wee onesies.
220
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,120
They're just all so cute,
aren't they?
221
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,720
Oh, they are, Michelle.
222
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,560
Well, until they soil them.
223
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,120
Have you made any decisions
on names, Michelle?
224
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,400
No, because we still can't seem to
agree on anything, can we?
225
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:40,280
But if it's a boy,
I like the name Lewis.
226
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,920
Good Scottish name, that.
227
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,000
Do you no think it sounds a bit like
"loos", though, Eric?
228
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,920
And are you definitely sure you
don't want to find out
229
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,800
what you're having, Michelle?
230
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,720
I mean, that would make it
a bit easier.
231
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,920
No, I just don't want to know.
232
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,240
No, I'm not that interested
either, Michelle.
233
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,440
Can I get you a tea or
a glass of water or something?
234
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:05,040
I'd take a water off you
if it's not too much trouble, Beth?
235
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,960
Er, what about the
rest of us, Beth?
236
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,800
Aye, here, have you
got any mince pies?
237
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,600
A wee cup of tea and a mince pie,
that'd be nice. Mm.
238
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,040
Well, the thing is...
Oh, aye, a tea and a mince pie,
239
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,080
I wouldnae say no!
Eh, first of the season.
240
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,120
Aw, I fucking hate mince pies.
241
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,120
Have you got the ones
with the brandy in them, Beth?
242
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,960
Oh, I'd take one of them, though.
243
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,880
No, you see...
You know, I love the ones
244
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,280
with all the cream on the top.
Oh, have you tried them?
245
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,080
Oh, I like the sound of them.
246
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,680
Have you got any of them, Beth?
247
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,160
I haven't got any mince pies.
248
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,960
Oh...Aw!
249
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,840
You cannae invite us all in here,
saying it's the start of Christmas
250
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,320
and not have any Christmas
stuff in for us.
251
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,680
We didn't do that!
252
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:46,400
You've got your tree up, Eric -
that sends a message.
253
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,160
It's like the swingers
with the pampas grass.
254
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,320
Yes, Eric, shut your face.
255
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,440
Is that really a thing, that,
the pampas grass?
256
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,640
I thought it was just like
one of those things folks say.
257
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:57,600
Oh, no, no, no, no. There's a couple
round the new-builds that had it
258
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,320
and they were very, very active...
259
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,000
..apparently.
260
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,560
Beth, don't worry about the water,
actually, I'm fine.
261
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,200
Aye, and it makes the baby kick,
then she goes on about it.
262
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,200
Don't be daft, of course
I'll get you a glass of water.
263
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,880
And I'm happy to do teas and coffees
for anyone who's wanting,
264
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,080
I just don't have any mince pies.
265
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,200
I mean, we were just
clearing out the loft,
266
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,840
not declaring that it
was officially Christmas.
267
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,600
I mean, I'd like to have
the power to do that,
268
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,560
but I'm afraid I don't, OK?
269
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,520
Beth?
270
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:37,320
You don't even have a wee tub
of Celebrations or nothing, no?
271
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:45,840
DOORBELL RINGS
272
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,640
A bit early with the tree,
are you not?
273
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,960
What is it, just
feeling Christmassy?
274
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,240
I wish we'd never bothered,
to be honest.
275
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:06,040
Quality Street is what I used to get
when it was just Sophie
276
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,640
and me, you know?
277
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:11,680
Oh, the green ones were my
favourite. I used to love them.
278
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,080
Aw, and what about Sophie?
What ones were hers?
279
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,200
All the other ones.
280
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,080
Oh, right, not like you to have
a houseful.
281
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,880
Hi, son.Hi, Ian.
282
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,800
Hiya, Dad. Hi, Colin. Hi, Cathy.
283
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,800
How are you doing, Ian?
Och, I'm fine.
284
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,120
How are you guys? Everything OK?
285
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,080
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just feeling...
No really, Ian.
286
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,880
Somebody went into
the back of my van.
287
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,840
Oh, no. I know. I just
got it back today.
288
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,840
You weren't in it at the time,
were you? No.
289
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,880
Oh, well, could've been worse.
Well, you're saying that,
290
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,080
but that was two full days it
was aff the road.
291
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,680
Anyway, how are you doing, Ian?
How's Gordon?
292
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,360
Aye, he's good, he's coming over
here to meet me after college.
293
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:47,800
Oh, is he still enjoying it?
294
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,240
Oh, aye, he's loving it.
295
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,120
I'm not loving being the only
one earning, though.
296
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,920
Oh... And you'll be on
a very poor wage as it is, Ian.
297
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,320
What did he pack his job
in for anyway, Ian?
298
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,640
Och, basically he just wasn't happy.
299
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:04,080
Oh, you see, this is the new thing,
isn't it?
300
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,480
You don't like something,
you just stop doing it.
301
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:11,560
Never used to be like that. No, you
just kept going, that was your lot,
302
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,640
you just had to accept it.
303
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,320
Like you with Eric, Beth.
304
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,680
Right, listen, you want to look
through this stuff
305
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,360
from the loft before
we throw it out?
306
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,120
Oh, right, now? Oh...
307
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,000
OK, where is it? I'll go get it.
308
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,640
So, what are you and Gordon
up to for Christmas, then?
309
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,440
Oh, just having a quiet one,
to be honest.
310
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,080
We did invite them but they said no.
311
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,040
Och, Gordon's got an assignment
to do over the holidays,
312
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,120
sort of taking over
everything at the minute.
313
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,000
What's it on? That's the thing,
he can't make up his mind.
314
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,640
Do you think he's quite
a weak person, Ian?
315
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,400
We got rid of a lot of other stuff,
316
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,280
but we weren't sure whether
you'd want to keep any of this.
317
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,560
God, my old laptop.
318
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,200
I remember the year you got me this.
319
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,480
I remember going to Curry's
out at Renfrew to get it.
320
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,120
Oh, that is a nice store, that.
321
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:03,120
Me and Pat went there to get
Sophie her Gameboy.
322
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,960
That was the big present that year.
323
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,120
And did you get her one?
324
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:10,880
No, they were sold out so I
just got her a LadyShave instead.
325
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:14,720
And if I remember right, I think
Pat got some Hoover bags.
326
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,840
God, I can remember taking
the wrapping off it.
327
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,280
And then straight upstairs
and onto the porn, eh, Ian?
328
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,640
Ian, gay porn on Christmas Day.
329
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,440
We didn't want to just throw it out.
330
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,520
No, no, no, listen, he could have
some good stuff on it, Eric.
331
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,800
Look, I'll take this
but you can get rid of the rest.
332
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,080
Oh, are you sure?
333
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,880
That hat and scarf set
was a present as well,
334
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,840
and I don't think you've ever
worn them.
335
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:44,000
Ian!He was always a very ungrateful
wee boy, Michelle.
336
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,520
I remember I gave him a banana once
337
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,440
and he just threw it behind the hut.
338
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,720
You'll need to get your mum
something decent for that
339
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,720
this year, Ian, to make up for that.
340
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,320
Just get her a bottle of rose,
Ian. That's what we do,
341
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,520
and she always seems
genuinely quite happy.
342
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,560
Sorry, Mum, I'll take those as well.
343
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,360
Oh, well, if you're sure.
344
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,640
And if you don't like them,
maybe Gordon will.
345
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,720
Yeah, he's got no fashion
sense at all, Ian.
346
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:15,040
I still don't understand how he's
starting college at his age.
347
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,040
I mean, is he no too old?
348
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,680
He's a mature student.
349
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,480
Yeah, exactly,
he's a mature student.
350
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,760
HUMMING
351
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,400
Hello, how's it going?
352
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,320
Are we going just now or am
I coming in?
353
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,240
Oh, I'm coming in, aren't I? Righto.
354
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:41,400
I get the train to Stranraer,
ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast,
355
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,920
coach down to Galway.
356
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,800
Pfft, well, that's a
hoor of a trip, that.
357
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:49,480
Alan. It's a fair way, Alan,
but when it is family,
358
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,120
it is worth all the effort.
359
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,440
Quite right. And, you know,
you'll be like Santa
360
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,800
coming down from the North Pole with
your big sack of Christmas presents.
361
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,040
I'll no need to buy them
all presents, will I?
362
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,520
Hi, Gordon. Oh, hiya, Gordon.
Hi, hi.
363
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,480
Gordon, what's that you've got
on your head?
364
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,560
Oh, it's my helmet.
I came on my scooter.
365
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,560
You came here by scooter?
Um, yeah.
366
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,680
It'll be one of those e-scooters.
Ooh!
367
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,840
I quite fancy one myself.
368
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,800
Is it an e-scooter
you've got, Gordon?
369
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,040
No, it's just a regular one.
370
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,800
Aw. Oh.
371
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,880
Gordon, come here a minute.
Come here.
372
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,280
That's you. It was, er,
sticking up a bit.
373
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,000
So how's your course going, Gordon?
374
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,600
Yeah, good, yeah.
375
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,320
What is it you're studying again?
376
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,800
Sociology and literature.
377
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,920
Oh, right, you not bothered
about getting a job after, are you?
378
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,160
Ian says you've got
an assignment to do?
379
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,440
Oh, yeah. I haven't made up my mind
what to do it on yet.
380
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,800
It's meant to be something
on cultural change,
381
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,320
but it's such a big subject.
382
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:57,760
Oh, God, yeah.
383
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,720
What about Emmerdale
going onto YouTube?
384
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,160
I don't think that's
the sort of thing Gordon's
385
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,880
studying on his course, Christine.
386
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,520
So it's literature you're doing,
is it?
387
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,520
I'll tell you a good book -
what's that one I read on holiday?
388
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:15,280
Oh, fuck that, you wouldn't put
that down. He was reading it in bed!
389
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,120
I know, I got right into it,
so I did.
390
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,680
I know what it was. It was
Duncan Bannatyne's autobiography.
391
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,000
Have you read that, Gordon?
392
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,000
Er, no. What about Maeve Binchy?
You read any of hers?
393
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,720
All set in Ireland.
394
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:31,160
They'll no be doing Maeve Binchy
books on a literature course.
395
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,640
Why not? There's fucking tonnes
of them.
396
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,080
Er, I see you've got your Christmas
tree up, Mrs Baird.
397
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,440
Well... It's awful early,
is it not, Gordon?
398
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,040
You've no got yours up, have you?
399
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,480
Well, no, but...
400
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,040
Yeah, it's also shit.
401
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,040
Look at the state of it!
402
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,400
Oh, it'll look great when you've got
the rest of the decorations up.
403
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,680
You're not saying this is it,
are you?
404
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,360
Well, we were having a clear out
405
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,120
and there was decorations there
that we'd had for years and...
406
00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,880
They were a bit tatty.
407
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,600
Erm, if you throw out
everything tatty,
408
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,440
you're not going
to have anything left.
409
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,440
Aw, Beth, we've got absolutely
loads of Christmas decorations
410
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,000
if you want some. Haven't we, Alan?
411
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,920
Aye, she cannae go past them
in the shop without buying them.
412
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,520
It's the same with toilet rolls.
We've got hundreds of them.
413
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,760
Ah, no, that's very kind, Michelle.
414
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,760
Look, we've got
piles of old ones as well.
415
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,960
Aye. You could
always have mine, Beth,
416
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,960
since I'm going to be in Ireland.
417
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,760
Alan, away you go
and get some for Beth and Eric.
418
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,040
Michelle, no, we...
419
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,880
Aw, honestly, Eric, it's fine,
we've got way more
420
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,760
than we've got room to put up, so...
421
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,560
Come on, Eric,
it's fucking miserable in here.
422
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,880
Are we ready? Yes, come on.
423
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:50,400
Yay.Aw. Woo.
424
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,640
That's proper Christmassy now,
isn't it?
425
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,240
Well, not till we get a bottle open!
426
00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,120
What about you, boys? Oh, shh!
I won't tell anyone
427
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,600
you're driving
your scooter drunk, Gordon.
428
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,040
SHE REVS
429
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,760
Yeah, I'll take one,
if that's OK with you, Michelle.
430
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,320
Aw, yeah, you guys go ahead.
I'll just stick to my water.
431
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,160
Did you not realise that being
pregnant was going
432
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,120
to be really boring, Michelle?
433
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,840
Is it OK if I have a lager?
434
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,680
Of course it is, Alan.
435
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,040
Are you just saying that now
and you'll give me a row later,
436
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,240
or do you really mean it?
437
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,680
I think I've got
a bottle of fizz in the fridge.
438
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:29,880
Woo!
439
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,440
You know when I think it
feels like Christmas is coming -
440
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,560
when you hear the Christmas
songs on the radio.
441
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,880
Yeah, I love Christmas songs.
442
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,160
Hey, Eric, have you got
that Christmas album?
443
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,520
Aye, I think I do.
444
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,720
Aye, as long as you
havenae thrown it out.
445
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,880
Yes, Eric, you big stupid donkey.
446
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,120
So when is it you're off
to Ireland, Christine?
447
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,240
Oh, not until the 21st, Michelle.
448
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,440
Oh, God, it's just so exciting.
449
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,280
You're going to have such
a brilliant time.
450
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,720
We loved Dublin, didn't we?
451
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,280
Aye, we were saying earlier, Alan,
that the Guinness that you get
452
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,000
in the Guinness factory
isn't like anywhere else.
453
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,720
Aye, it's 20 fucking Euro.
454
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,680
MUSIC: Wonderful Christmastime
by Paul McCartney
455
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,440
Aw!
456
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,280
Hey!Oh!
457
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,200
Right, everyone want one?
458
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,200
Please.
459
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:17,520
Thank you.
460
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:18,800
Sorry, Michelle.
461
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,800
Oh, Beth, don't worry, I'm fine.
I like my water.
462
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:22,960
It's all right, Michelle.
463
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,120
You can get pissed again once
the baby's here.
464
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,720
Well, this is a bit more like it,
eh? Cheers, everybody.
465
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,160
Cheers!Cheers!
466
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:36,280
Here, Beth, could you go and get me
that wee glass that I like?
467
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,240
I don't like the way this one
feels in my hand.
468
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:40,240
Oh, for...
469
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,800
Thanks. Here, I hope you won't be
so fussy over in Ireland, Christine,
470
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,320
or they'll send you back.
471
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,240
Dad, stick it on to the next song.
472
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,840
I can't be bothered with this one,
it goes on for ages.
473
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,000
MUSIC: I Wish It Could Be Christmas
Everyday by Wizzard
474
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,120
Oh, no, no, no, Col. No, no, no,
I hate this one. Get it off.
475
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,400
She hates this.
476
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:03,880
Why do you not like it, Cathy?
477
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,320
I don't like the sound
of children singing, Gordon.
478
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,080
MUSIC: Merry Xmas Everybody
by Slade
479
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,040
Now this, this is a classic.
480
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,240
Oh, does this one
no do your head in?
481
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,360
What, do you not like it, Alan?
482
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,400
Och, it's all right but you hear it
everywhere you go, don't you?
483
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,200
It is a bit ubiquitous, yes.
484
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,320
I'll tell you one that you hear
everywhere - Band Aid.
485
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:27,120
Oh, it was amazing
what they did with that.
486
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,840
Yes. Mm-mm.
487
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,320
Although, there is a bit of
a backlash against it now.
488
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:33,800
Against Band Aid?
489
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,240
Is it because Bono's a wank?
Alan!
490
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,240
Well, he is but.It's just they
think it may be did more harm
491
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,640
than good, because it made people
feel they'd solved the problem
492
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,800
of global inequality when,
in actual fact,
493
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,440
it's worsened with the impact
of climate change.
494
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:51,320
Plus there's the whole white saviour
thing, which is quite toxic as well.
495
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,120
Oh...
496
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,000
I didn't realise it was
so controversial.
497
00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,040
Well, it's an interesting debate.
I personally think that...
498
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,120
MUSIC: Fairytale Of New York
by The Pogues
499
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,160
This is the best one ever.
500
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,640
Oh, I do like this.
501
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,400
What is it?The Pogues.
502
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,160
Mm?Shane MacGowan.
503
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,760
Always pissed?
Oh, him, yes.
504
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,640
Here's a couple of names
for you, Michelle.
505
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,040
What? Well, Shane for a boy
or Kirsty for a girl.
506
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:21,280
Oh, a good Irish name,
that, Michelle - Shane.
507
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,800
Actually, I quite like those.
508
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,440
Oh, aye, wee Shane Edgar.
509
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,880
It sounds good, din't it?
Or Kirsty.
510
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,480
Aye, that's all right and all.
511
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,680
Here, Christine, this is
the one where the choir's singing
512
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,440
Galway Bay - that's where
you'll be at Christmas.
513
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,720
Oh, here, so it is.
514
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,920
Christine, it's just going
to feel really weird
515
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,520
you being away at
your cousin's for Christmas.
516
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:47,440
Beth?
517
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,760
Do you think it's going to be OK?
518
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,400
What do you mean?
Well, me going to Dearbhla's.
519
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:03,440
Because, well, it's just I know
that sometimes I can be
520
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,560
a wee bit demanding.
Oh, Christine...
521
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,960
But what if they end up wishing
they'd never made contact with me
522
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,920
and cannae wait to see
the back of me?
523
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,360
You're going to have
a wonderful time.
524
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,600
Christmas is for families,
and they're your family.
525
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,680
They're going to be thrilled
you're there.
526
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,480
Do you think so? Yes.
527
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:29,600
Here, Beth, you know how I'm
getting the train to Stranraer
528
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,000
and then getting the ferry...
529
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,440
Yes - train to Stranraer,
ferry to Larne,
530
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,280
bus to Belfast and coach to Galway.
531
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:41,000
Are you OK to give me
a lift into the station?
532
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,240
Yes.
533
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,840
Are you OK there, Gordon?
Any problem with this song?
534
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,360
Well, it depends
which version it is. What?
535
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,160
Well, there's a word in the song
that's quite offensive, so...
536
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,880
What word?Well, I don't
really want to say it.
537
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,240
I think I know what it is.
538
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,000
What is it, Beth?Is it scumbag?
539
00:24:58,040 --> 00:24:59,480
What is wrong with scumbag?
540
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,840
It rhymes with maggot...
541
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,400
It rhymes with maggot?
542
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,520
Maybe just forward it
on to the next one.
543
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,240
What rhymes with maggot?
544
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,320
I know, I know!
545
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,120
What is it?
It begins with an F, Christine.
546
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,560
Fuckwit?
547
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,040
Look, maybe just put it off, Dad.
548
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,080
What is it?
549
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,920
What's wrong with that?
550
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,800
It's quite offensive,
especially to gay people.
551
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,160
I thought it was "poofter" was
the one that yous didnae like.
552
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,720
Och, it's getting to the point
you cannae say anything
553
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,200
without offending someone.
554
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,520
Oh, here we go.
555
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:36,840
Well, it's ridiculous.
556
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,400
I mean, you cannae even have
a bit of homophobic swearing
557
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:40,920
in a Christmas song any more.
558
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,800
I think it's more we're
just becoming more aware
559
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,560
of how the things we say
impact on other people,
560
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,480
and a recognition that some terms
that were once in common usage
561
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,440
were, in fact, offensive, frankly.
562
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,160
We should probably make a move.
563
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,560
What other words
can we not say, Gordon?
564
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,120
Well, it's not up to me.
565
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,000
What about fanny?
566
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,920
If someone was to call you
a silly fanny,
567
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,280
would you be offended by that?
568
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,920
Cathy. Well, I wouldn't really be
offended, but, I mean,
569
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,160
if we're going to get into it,
I don't really think anyone
570
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,600
should be using a female
body part as an insult.
571
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,560
Does that mean that you
cannae say cu...?Christine!
572
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,480
What about dick?
Can you still call someone a dick?
573
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:20,680
That's less bad.
574
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,400
Oh, thank God for that.
575
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:23,880
I say dick quite a lot, don't I?
576
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,000
Uh-huh. Aye, me
as well, Alan. Aye.
577
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,440
Why is dick not as bad, Gordon?
578
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,720
Well, it's that men
have, historically,
579
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,280
been the dominant gender so the...
580
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:33,960
What about wanker, Gordon?
581
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,680
Because technically
that's either, isn't it?
582
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,560
Arsehole? You know,
we've all got one of those.
583
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,720
And where would the gays
be withoot them? Oh, for...
584
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,360
I really think we should head...
585
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:46,600
You know what I think, Gordon?
586
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:47,840
What?!
587
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:53,680
I think you should
do your assignment on all of this.
588
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,520
Language and all that,
how it's changed.
589
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,440
You really know what
you're talking about.
590
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:00,960
Well, I don't think that's...
591
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,280
I can't really see how that would...
592
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:09,480
Actually, that's a really good idea.
593
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,440
Don't forget your hat and scarf.
594
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,320
Ah, yeah, see about that...
595
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:21,640
Do you mind
if we don't do presents this year?
596
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:22,960
Oh, right.
597
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:27,280
Yeah, it's just we're a bit skint
this year with me being at college.
598
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,840
Is that why you're not coming
over on Christmas Day?
599
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,360
Kind of, yeah.
600
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:37,040
Do not worry about presents
but come over for dinner,
601
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,120
we'd love to have you.
602
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,240
Right, OK.
603
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:42,720
Thank you. Cheers, Mum.
604
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,240
Erm, no hugs for me, Gordon?
605
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:52,520
Oh!
606
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,040
That's a nice kiss for you as well.
607
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:01,480
Bye, Ian.
608
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,880
Oh, is that your scooter, Gordon?
609
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,320
Yeah. Ooh! I wonder
if Col would like one of those?
610
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,440
Oh, my God, I could get him
one for his Christmas.
611
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:22,040
Col! Col! Come and get a look
at Gordon's scooter!
612
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:23,400
What's happening?
613
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:27,000
I think Colin's going to have
a go on Gordon's scooter.
614
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,360
Oh, I'd quite like to see that.
615
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,720
I haven't been on one
of these for years.
616
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:35,120
Go on, Col.
617
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:36,680
HE GIGGLES
618
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,040
Whee!
619
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,320
Woo!
620
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,080
Oh!
621
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,160
CRASHING
Oh!
622
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,840
Oh, my fucking van!
623
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:55,840
# The boys of the NYPD choir
still singing Galway Bay
624
00:28:55,880 --> 00:29:00,480
# And the bells are ringing out
for Christmas Day. #
73029
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