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This programme contains
strong language
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DOOR CLOSES
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Oh, that was quick.
4
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Did you get milk? Aye.
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Look what else I got.
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Oh, what's that?
7
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Doughnuts.
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Christ, how many did you get?
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12. Family bundle.
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12 doughnuts, between two of us?
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I just thought they'd be nice
with a coffee.
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We'd need to open our own Costa
to get through all them.
13
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,360
Well, what do you want me
to do with them?
14
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I don't know, but we're no'
sitting here eating 12 doughnuts.
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What in God's name's
a family bundle anyway?
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Two plain rings, two raspberry,
two fudge sundaes,
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two chocolate dreamies,
two apple pie,
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one caramel custard,
one white chocolate cheesecake.
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I think.
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00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,200
MUSIC: S.O.B.
by Nathaniel Rateliff
& The Night Sweats
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Oh, hello. Oh, hiya, Beth.
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Listen, Alan's bought
a whole load of doughnuts
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and we'll never eat them all.
Would you and Eric like some?
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00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,240
Erm, well...
25
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It's a family bundle, Beth.
26
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I only went in to get milk
and panty liners, as well!
27
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,440
Oh, they look lovely.
28
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Wee bit of jam
missing from that one,
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but apart from that,
they've not been touched.
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00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,240
Take as many as you want. Erm...
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Well, let's not stand here
and do this. Come in.
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Eric!
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00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,360
Oh, hi, Michelle. Hi, Alan.
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00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,000
Hi, Eric. Listen,
sorry to disturb you,
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00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,880
it's just we've got these doughnuts,
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and I was just saying to Beth,
there's far too many of them for us,
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so we just wanted to see
if you might like some.
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00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,240
Oh, that's nice. That'd be nice
with a cup of tea, eh?
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That's what I says, Eric.
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Cup of tea and a doughnut,
you cannae beat it.
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00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,480
Yes, a doughnut, Alan, not 12.
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Oh, he's the same -
terrible sweet tooth.
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I have to hide the KitKats. Oh.
44
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Try in behind the microwave, Eric.
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Well, look, please help yourself,
because we'll never eat them all.
46
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,560
OK, then. Cannae have them
go to waste, eh?
47
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:10,920
Let's have a look.
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What have we got? Two plain rings,
two raspberry, two fudge sundaes,
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two chocolate dreamies, two apple
pie, one caramel custard,
50
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,760
and that one there's
a white chocolate cheesecake.
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Jeezo, some selection, eh?
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Family bundle, Eric.
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Is there any you don't like?
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No' really, Beth, no.
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What you going to go for?
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00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,720
Erm... I don't know. I'll just
take whichever's smallest.
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00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:30,960
Plain ring, Beth?
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Erm... No, I think
I'll have a raspberry one.
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I'm going to have a fudge one.
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Aw, you sure that's all yous want?
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00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,240
Yes, yes, that'll do us.
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I mean, there's still tonnes.
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SHE STAMMERS
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No, honestly, we're fine.
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That's all they want.
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00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,880
I don't know what we're going
to do with them all.
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00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,720
Is there anyone else
that might want one?
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00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,240
Erm...
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00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,800
Oh, hi, Alan, son. All right?
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00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,080
You all right?
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00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,760
I'm waiting on this boilerman coming
to see about my hot water.
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00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,240
How, what's wrong with it?
73
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,520
Well, it's fucking cold.
That's what's wrong wi' it.
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00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,920
Ah. I've not had a bath
or a shower since Thursday.
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It's like Glastonbury in there.
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Anyway, what can I do you for?
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You want a doughnut?
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00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,800
Oh, where'd you get this fae?
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I bought a box of them.
Michelle says there's too many.
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00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,840
Oh, are you sure?
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00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,120
Aye. Go for it, aye.
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00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,080
Oh, I do love a wee doughnut
wi' a cup of tea.
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00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,040
Aye, it's the bollocks, in't it?
Mm-hm.
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00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,840
As long as you're sure you're no'
leaving yourself short.
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00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,040
No, Eric and Beth have chosen theirs
and there's still quite a few left.
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00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,120
They got to choose theirs?
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00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:39,160
Right, that's me in, Alan. Ta, son.
DOOR SHUTS
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00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,440
Ooh. Where's these doughnuts,
till I get a look at them.
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00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,000
Oh, hi, Christine.
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00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,080
Right, what's left?
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00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,080
Hi, Christine.
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That's chocolate something or other,
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and there's jam in that...
94
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,600
Is that cinnamon on the top of that?
95
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:55,800
Aye, that's apple pie.
96
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,040
That's plain rings,
that's a raspberry,
97
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,320
that's a fudge sundae,
that's chocolate dreamies,
98
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,680
that's your caramel custard,
99
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,960
that there is your
white chocolate cheesecake.
100
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,800
Mm. Just help yourself,
Christine, don't mind us.
101
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What have you got? Fudge sundae.
102
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,480
What about you, Beth?
Erm, raspberry.
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00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,040
Mmm.
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Caramel and custard.
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00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,360
Yes! Right, is that everyone?
106
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,240
Ah, yes.
107
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,920
You couldn't gimme a wee bit
of kitchen roll, could you, Beth?
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Thanks. Awful sticky, aren't they?
109
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Oh, aye.
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00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,200
Hey, no' as bad as a yum yum,
though.
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00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:37,320
Oh, you'd give Spider-Man a run for
his money after one of them.
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There you go.
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00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,760
Aw, bless you, Beth, bless you.
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Right, that's us all set.
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SHE CHUCKLES
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How'd you end up
wi' all these, Alan?
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00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,360
I just wanted something
with a cup of tea.
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00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:56,040
Oh, a doughnut wi' a cup of tea -
match made in heaven, eh?
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00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,560
Mm?
120
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:02,720
I'm just saying, a doughnut
wi' a cup of tea, Beth, eh?
121
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,360
Mm-hm.
122
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,240
They go well together, don't they?
123
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:13,000
Right, is everyone wanting
a cup of tea?
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00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,680
Aye, please, Beth.
If you're making one.
125
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,280
Oh, aye, Beth. That would be lovely.
126
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,360
Aye. Thanks, Beth.
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She got there in the end, Alan, eh?
128
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,000
I'd better watch my time.
129
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,480
I've got a guy coming
to look at my boiler.
130
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,600
Is that still no' working? Nope.
131
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What a pain. You're telling me.
132
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,880
Three days to get an engineer out!
133
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,640
Oh, and the lassie says,
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00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,720
"We're experiencing
a high volume of calls."
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00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,840
I said, "I'm experiencing
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00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:45,800
"a high volume of washes
at the fucking sink."
137
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,000
You should have said.
138
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,560
You could have came over
and had a bath or a shower at ours.
139
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,680
Oh, no.
140
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,600
I'm...I'm funny
about getting undressed
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00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,920
in other people's houses, Michelle.
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You were fine that time
you stayed here.
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I had no idea you were
coming up those stairs, Eric.
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BETH: Right, here we are.
145
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,800
Aw, that's magic, Beth. Cheers.
146
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,600
Here we go. So, ha-ha.
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00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,440
Aye. That us?
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00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,920
Right.
149
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,480
Aye. Come on.
150
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,160
Mm! Oh, God. Mmm.
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00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,560
DOORBELL RINGS
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Oh, Jesus.
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00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,200
Oh, hello. Hi.
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00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:37,680
Mm?
155
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,520
Sorry to bother you - we've just
moved in across the road
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00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,680
and just wanted to pop over
and say a quick hello.
157
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,480
Oh! Right. Of course.
158
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,400
Erm, sorry. Sorry, erm...
159
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,600
I'm Iqbal. I'm Ash.
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00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,600
Hi, I'm Beth. Lovely to meet you.
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Erm...
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00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,360
Do you want to come in?
163
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:58,120
Are you sure?
We don't want to interrupt you.
164
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,800
Oh, nobody bothers about that
round here. Come on in.
165
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,080
Come in, come in.
166
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,600
DOOR SHUTS
167
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Oh, hiya. Oh, erm...
168
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,680
I didn't know you had people in.
169
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,160
Oh, no, no, no. It's fine.
170
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:17,520
Everybody, this is Ash and Iqbal.
171
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,800
Hi. Hiya. Hello.
172
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,160
They've just moved in across the
road into the Grants' old house.
173
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,520
ALL: Oh!
174
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,800
Great!
175
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,880
How you doing?
Eric, pleased to meet you.
176
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Hi. Hi.
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00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,480
Hello. Oh, sorry. Oh, I'm sorry.
178
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,760
I've just been eating
a wee doughnut. Kind of a bit...
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00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,480
It's my husband.
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00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:36,640
Yeah.
181
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,560
Right, and this is Alan
and Michelle.
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00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,720
Hiya.
183
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,240
They live a couple of doors
up from you on the same side.
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00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:43,640
Oh. Hi there.
185
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:47,240
Sorry, excuse me. I'm Michelle.
186
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,000
Hi. I'm Al'n.
187
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,040
Sorry?
188
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,320
Al'n.
189
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,640
Oh. OK.
190
00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,000
And this is Christine.
191
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,120
Hello there.
192
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,240
Hi.
193
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,680
I must apologise,
194
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,480
I'm in my dressing gown.
195
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,520
My boiler's on the blink.
196
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,440
Oh, God, that's...that's annoying.
197
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,640
Oh, well, three days I've been
waiting on an engineer.
198
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:11,920
Oh, gosh, you poor thing.
199
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,160
Mm-hm.
200
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,680
It's no' a bath I'm needing,
it's a fucking sheep dip.
201
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,800
Ha-ha. Erm...
Have a seat, have a seat.
202
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,320
Thank you.
203
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,880
Can I get you a tea or a coffee?
204
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,840
Oh, no, I'm fine, thank you. Ash?
205
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,440
Oh, no, I've had
my coffee already today.
206
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,400
There's doughnuts there
if you'd like one.
207
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,560
Oh, no, thank you.
208
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,000
Erm, no, thank you. You sure?
209
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,280
They're out of Asda.
210
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,040
Oh, no, honestly, we're fine.
211
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,520
So when did you move in?
212
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,800
Yesterday. Oh, not long.
213
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,600
And how was the move?
Yeah, it was fine.
214
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,400
Ash had everything labelled,
didn't you?
215
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,160
Yeah, we were pretty organised,
so it all went quite smoothly.
216
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,520
Oh, that's good.
217
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,160
They say it's the
most stressful thing
218
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,200
you can do, is move house,
don't they? Aye, aye.
219
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,280
They've never tried
getting a pilot light going
220
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,560
wi' a damp box of Swan Vestas.
221
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,680
It's a lovely house you've got.
222
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,920
Ah.
223
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,040
Oh, it is, aye. A smashing house.
224
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,720
Was it the Grants
that had the big Alsatian?
225
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,520
Aye, erm... Sheba.
226
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,240
Ah, Sheba.
227
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,560
Any smell of dog left in the house?
228
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,560
Erm... Erm, not that we noticed, no.
229
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,840
Erm... Beth, I'm really sorry
to hassle you,
230
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,920
but you don't have any wipes
or anything, do you?
231
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,160
Oh, yes, sure.
232
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,440
Oh, sorry, could I have one
as well, please? Thank you.
233
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,880
You never had a doughnut.
234
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,520
Sorry?
235
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,280
You never had one -
how come you're sticky?
236
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,680
Erm, I-I sho...
237
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,880
Oh, ah, that was me.
Sorry about that.
238
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,280
Sorry. Oh, no, no, no.
239
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,000
It was us that interrupted
your doughnut time.
240
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,560
Oh, no, no.
This isn't a set thing we do,
241
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,280
it was just a spur
of the moment thing.
242
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:40,280
Alan brought them in.
Oh. It's a family bundle.
243
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,600
You sure you don't want one?
244
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,760
No, honestly, we're fine.
245
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,080
I can highly recommend
the caramel and custard, Ash.
246
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,360
Oh.
247
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,840
There was only one of them.
248
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,480
You snooze, you lose.
249
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,560
So where have you moved from?
250
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,280
London. London? Oh, really?
251
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,000
You been on the London Eye?
252
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,800
Erm, you know what,
I don't think I have. No.
253
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,640
So what's brought you up here?
254
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,840
Ah, well, it was after we
came up on holiday last year.
255
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,400
Oh, is that right? Yeah, yeah.
256
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,640
We didn't want to go abroad,
so we were looking for
257
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,160
somewhere in the UK.
258
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,680
Our friends had been up here
and they really enjoyed it, so...
259
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,600
Yeah, we found
this great little eco lodge
260
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,840
just near Fort William, and we were
absolutely blown away, weren't we?
261
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,040
Yeah, it was amazing. Mm.
262
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,880
Wet wipe? Oh, thank you.
263
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,000
Yeah, we went to some amazing
beaches.
264
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,240
We saw dolphins, otters, deer...
265
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,040
Do you remember the stars at night?
266
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,760
Oh, my God, it was incredible.
There was no light pollution at all.
267
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,200
I mean, you could see everything.
268
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,200
Was there bats?
269
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,880
Hmm.
270
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,840
It was a really amazing experience.
271
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,280
Yeah. The best holiday
we've had in our lives.
272
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:44,040
We're booked up
for Turkey in October.
273
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,440
Oh, great, whereabouts?
274
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,600
Dunno. 400 for the week.
275
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,320
That's wi' the one bag, though.
276
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,960
Erm... Anyway as soon as
we got home, we just thought,
277
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,080
"What are we doing,
why are we living in London?"
278
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,800
Well, it is good for the shops.
279
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,040
You been in NikeTown? Alan.
280
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:03,120
Erm... So we put the flat on the
market, sold it, and that's us.
281
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,000
That's terrific. Yes, it is.
282
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,480
I hope you'll be very happy here.
283
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,120
And if there's anything
you need to help you settle in
284
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,160
or feel at home,
you just let us know.
285
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:12,800
Thank you, that's so sweet.
286
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,000
We might not be able
to give you the weather,
287
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,760
but we can give you a warm welcome.
288
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:20,760
DOORBELL RINGS
289
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:20,760
Ah, Christ, who's this now?
290
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,400
HONKING
291
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,400
Ah, heya.
292
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,240
Fucking fanny.
293
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,080
All right, Colin?
294
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,000
See that for sale sign's down
across the road?
295
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,320
D'you know how much they got for it?
I don't know, Colin.
296
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,960
I mean, it's a dump
compared to ours.
297
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,720
We've got the Monoblock, the
extension at the back and the bidet.
298
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,000
They've got that big manky
Alsatian roaming the place
299
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,560
and that's ten grand off right
away, Eric, know what I mean?
300
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:47,200
The new folk are actually in
having a cup of tea at the minute.
301
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,560
Oh, are they? Aye.
302
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,080
You want to come in?
303
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,840
Aye, well, it's only manners. Right.
304
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,600
Hey! Oh, hi, Colin.
305
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,720
Is this the new kids
on the block, is it?
306
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:03,880
Welcome, welcome.
307
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,440
That's a beautiful house
you've got yourself there.
308
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,680
Oh, thank you very much.
309
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:11,040
Apparently,
they cannae smell the dog.
310
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,360
What dog? Big Sheba.
311
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,480
Oh, aye, aye.
What kind was she again?
312
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:17,880
Alsatian.
313
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,400
Alsatian, that's right.
314
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,040
I'd forgotten all about her.
315
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:27,400
Maybe when you hoover, Ash,
the hair'll circulate again.
316
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,720
Mm.
317
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,880
Ash, is it?
318
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,400
Erm, yes. Thank you. I'm Colin.
319
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,680
And you're?
320
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,600
Iqbal. Iqbal, good to meet you.
321
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,200
How much did you pay
for that across there? Oh, for...
322
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,160
Colin, I don't think
you need to ask that.
323
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,080
No, true. I'll look it up
on Zoopla later on.
324
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,160
Colin lives just one along
on this side.
325
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,360
Oh.
326
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,040
It's similar to the one
you guys have got,
327
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,600
except ours would be valued
a lot higher.
328
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,080
They've moved here from
London, Colin.
329
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,360
London, really?
330
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,360
You got an Oyster card?
331
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,960
Yes. You cannae use it here.
332
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,640
What brought yous up here, then?
333
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,400
Oh, well, we came up
for a holiday last year,
334
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,160
and really loved the place, so we
thought, why not move here?
335
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,640
You came on holiday here?
336
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,160
Oh, no, no, no.
We were up near Fort William.
337
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,480
Oh.
338
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:13,880
We rented an eco lodge. Yeah.
339
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,520
Were you allowed to use loo roll?
340
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,560
Beth. Beth.
341
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:24,400
D'you think they're maybe
running away from something?
342
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,760
You know, like debt
or store cards or that?
343
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,760
We did actually think
about buying up there,
344
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,760
but then we thought it might be
a bit too remote
345
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,000
to actually live, you know.
346
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,400
Well, we're very happy with where
we ended up, aren't we?
347
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,760
Yeah, it's great.
348
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,240
Is there much needing done to it?
349
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,960
Well, the carpets need
a fucking shampoo for a start.
350
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,600
We were going to put a new kitchen
in.
351
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,240
ALL: Ooh!
352
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,360
We both love cooking,
but I mean, there's no rush,
353
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,600
we'll just get ourselves
settled in first. Mm.
354
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,760
Well, if you need a hand getting
your bearings, just shout. Mm-hm.
355
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:57,040
Aye, there's a big Morrisons
up the top there, Ash. Oh, right.
356
00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,600
There used to be a wee local shop,
but that's away now. Aye.
357
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,360
They cannae compete with
the bigger stores, you see. Aye.
358
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:06,320
It was really just the poppers
and the single fags
359
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,760
that kept him going as
long as it did.
360
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,800
There's plenty of nice places
to go for a walk,
361
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,280
if you like that kind of thing.
362
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,160
Yeah, yeah. That...
That sounds nice.
363
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,600
Aye, there's a wee lane
at the end of the street,
364
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,480
and it takes you
to a nice woody bit.
365
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:22,000
Oh, is there really?
Aye. Oh, it's lovely.
366
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,480
I go up there
to tip the oil out my frier.
367
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:29,200
Well, there's Loch Lomond,
I mean, that's not far.
368
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,240
Oh, it's gorgeous up there. Yeah.
369
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,160
Yeah, we had friends
who went camping up there.
370
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,280
Oh, they said it was brilliant,
so we're definitely
371
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,960
going to give that a try. Yeah.
Aye, well, they've banned that now.
372
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,040
Oh, what?
373
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,520
Aye, too many people starting
fires and leaving rubbish.
374
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,360
Aye, and taking dumps
without digging a wee hole.
375
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,560
Mm. Dirty bastards.
376
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:50,080
That's a shame, we were really
looking forward to that, weren't we?
377
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:53,040
Well, you can definitely go
for a day trip.
378
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:56,400
Aye. Just watch where you're
standing, you'll be fine.
379
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,840
Aye. You won't have to go far.
380
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,400
I mean, couple of hours
in the car from here,
381
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,200
you'll hit some great wee spots.
382
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,400
Well, that's why we chose it -
383
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,160
we wanted somewhere
that was close to work
384
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,560
but somewhere that was, you know,
385
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,240
handy for getting out
to explore and...
386
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,600
And what is it you do?
We work for the NHS.
387
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,720
ALL: Oh! Ooh!
388
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,800
Respect. Oh, no. No, no, no.
389
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,360
Naw, respect to yous both.
390
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,880
No, no, no, it's fine.
No, no, no.
391
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,520
Listen... No, no, you really,
really don't have to do that.
392
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,400
Heroes.
393
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,840
You really don't have to do that.
394
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,240
Two heroes.
395
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,560
We were all out clapping
every Thursday, weren't we?
396
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,960
I was out there
with my pot and my spoon.
397
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,560
I didnae do that.
398
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,160
We've got Le Creuset, you know,
and they're very heavy.
399
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,920
What bit is it you work for?
400
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,360
Well, I'm a consultant
in public health. Aye.
401
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:50,640
What's that?
402
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,560
Penpusher, Al.
403
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,200
What about yourself?
404
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,560
Erm...I'm a doctor.
405
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,320
ALL: Ooooh!
406
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,840
Oh, a doctor.
407
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,600
Do you do shoulders?
408
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,880
No, no. I'm in cardiology.
409
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,000
Cardiology, eh? Here, Beth,
410
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,520
you're all right if he takes
a heart attack now,
411
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:08,760
just shout over the road.
412
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,120
HE LAUGHS
413
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,120
Oh.
414
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,360
Ho!
415
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,360
THEY LAUGH
416
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,320
Here, Beth, can you hear
that clicking
417
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,320
when I do that with my shoulder?
418
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,080
That's quite specialist, isn't it?
419
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,200
Take you a while to qualify?
420
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,600
Yeah. Seven years. Seven years, wow.
421
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,560
Took me two to get my forklift.
422
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,160
Is that seven years in
medical school?
423
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,480
Erm, no, five, and then two
years as a junior doctor.
424
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,680
That's when we met.
425
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,440
Oh, was it?
426
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,480
Was she a nurse? No. No.
427
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:36,800
No, I was on secondment
428
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,840
to a public health unit
in the same hospital.
429
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:43,240
So did you no' get good enough
grades to be a doctor, then, Ash?
430
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,760
Sorry?
431
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,640
It's all A's you need, isn't it?
432
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:49,960
I got a B in woodwork.
433
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,920
Erm, no, I-I just never wanted
to go down that road, really.
434
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:57,280
I always quite fancied
being a detective.
435
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,520
The hours junior doctors have to do
are terrible, aren't they?
436
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,800
I mean, what is it,
70, 80 hours a week?
437
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,600
Yeah. I mean, the hours can be
long and it is hard work,
438
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,680
but you just have to get through it.
439
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:11,000
Oh, but it must be very rewarding.
440
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,040
Oh, yeah, it really is.
It really makes you feel
441
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,320
like you're making a
difference in someone's life.
442
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,000
Mm. You see?
443
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,160
If you had stuck in, Ash,
that could have been you.
444
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,400
What about A&E,
did you ever work there?
445
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,680
Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, you have to -
446
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,080
it's all part of your training.
447
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,480
So you'll have seen
a lot of shoulders, then, eh?
448
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,440
Hey, he'll have seen
more than shoulders, Christine.
449
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,480
He'll have seen all sorts
in there, eh?
450
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,280
It can be quite full-on, yeah.
451
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,160
Have you ever seen an
eye hanging out? Alan!
452
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,320
It's stabbings, the big one
in A&E. You seen a lot of them?
453
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,040
I've seen a few.
454
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,120
If the knife's still in them,
do yous leave it in,
455
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,600
or do yous take it out?
456
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,480
You leave it in, Alan.
457
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,360
You've gotta leave it
in till they get the X-ray.
458
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,400
I've seen that on Holby.
D'you ever watch Holby, Iqbal?
459
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,400
No. Oh, you should.
460
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,120
Maybe save yoursel'
a couple years' training.
461
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,200
What's the worst you've ever seen?
462
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,920
Oh, it's so long ago... Yeah, no.
463
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,320
We're more concerned nowadays
with trying to stop people
464
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,080
ending up in hospital
in the first place.
465
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,440
I mean, that's a lot
of what I do in my job, so... Yeah.
466
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,520
The work that Ash is
involved with is really key
467
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,200
to the future of the NHS. Oh.
468
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,520
Aye, but A&E, I mean, that's the
sharp end, is it not?
469
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,400
Yes, but, erm...
470
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,800
My mate's wife works in A&E.
471
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,040
She said that one guy came in
with a courgette
472
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,880
stuck up his arse.
473
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,880
HE LAUGHS
474
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,800
A courgette?
How did it get up there?
475
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,600
He said he'd fallen
backwards on to it
476
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:35,840
when he was making the dinner.
477
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,000
Aye, that's what he says.
478
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,760
He'll have shoved it up there
himself.
479
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:43,280
Ah, well, that's one way of getting
your five-a-day into you, eh?
480
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:46,360
LAUGHTER
481
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,880
She also said...
482
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:52,160
No. She also said that one woman
come in with a mobile phone up her.
483
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,760
GASPING
484
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,600
Front or back? Front.
485
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,240
Oh, my God.
486
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,920
Christ, I cannae hear mine when it
goes off in the other room.
487
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,560
She'd have no chance!
488
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,520
LAUGHTER
489
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:09,320
Right, Christine,
when's your boilerman coming?
490
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,800
I heard this one
about this guy, right?
491
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,640
He turned up at the hospital,
his jacket all zipped up,
492
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,280
and a wee hoover on wheels,
trailing along beside him.
493
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,800
They got him in, examined him,
494
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,600
they found his willy stuck
in the hose of the hoover.
495
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,400
Oh, no!
496
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,400
EXCLAIMING
497
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,160
Oh, for the love of God!
Can you imagine?
498
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,720
I says to my wife,
499
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,760
"I wonder if it was one
of those wee Henry ones.
500
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,040
"That would've wiped
the smile off its face!"
501
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,760
LAUGHTER
502
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,920
Do you do shoulders, Ash?
503
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,720
Yeah, yeah, it's basically
the same layout as this. Yeah.
504
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,160
We did talk about knocking
through to the dining room
505
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,800
at one time and making it open plan.
506
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,080
Oh, yeah, I think
that's what we'll do.
507
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,680
We ripped out all our units on
one side and put an island in.
508
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,680
Oh, I like an island in the kitchen.
509
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,560
Yeah. Listen,
Alan's in the building trade.
510
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,520
If you ever need any work done,
just give us a shout.
511
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,000
Yeah, no,
I'll have a chat with Iqbal.
512
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,600
Sorry, I did have one question.
513
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,760
Oh, yes? What's the best
gym to join here?
514
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,640
Oh, well,
there's the leisure centre,
515
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,800
and that's got a pool, I know that.
516
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,760
Has it got a gym, though?
517
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,520
I think that's closed now.
I think they had to close that.
518
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:24,840
Did they?
519
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,080
Yeah, remember they found
that spyhole in the shower?
520
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,240
Oh. Oh, yes.
521
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,120
Were they not thinking
about building one
522
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,720
of those 24-hour ones by the bypass?
523
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,040
Oh, that'd be perfect.
524
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,320
No, that's not happening. Oh.
525
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,400
They couldn't get
the planning permission.
526
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,400
That's a shame. I wonder
what they'll do with it.
527
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,760
It's going to be
a drive-through McDonald's.
528
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,160
Oh.
529
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,240
It's awful, awful stiff
when I get up in the morning.
530
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,280
So what's your GP said about it?
531
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,080
Ach, wee McGill?
532
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,280
Christ, you could be sat there
with your head under your arm,
533
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,160
and he'd still tell you to take
two paracetamol and dial 111.
534
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,680
Can you lift your arm up
as high as you can?
535
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,200
All right. Ooh.
536
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:11,280
Apologies if I'm kicking up
a bit of a biff.
537
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,360
Once this boiler's up and running,
538
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:16,000
I'll be back to my usual standards.
539
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,480
And out to the side. Oh.
540
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,440
Here, Eric, you got any WD-40?
541
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,760
CHUCKLING
542
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,760
Cheeky wee bastard.
543
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,520
Excuse me, Doctor.
544
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:32,080
You don't have to call me doctor -
I'm not your doctor.
545
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,360
Erm, can you rotate your whole arm?
546
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,520
Oh, right.
547
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,120
SHE GROANS
548
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,680
Do it with the other one,
see if you take off.
549
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,200
I'll take your fucking head off.
550
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,480
Sorry, Doctor. That's OK.
551
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,160
Erm, I don't think there's
anything to worry about,
552
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,520
to be honest. It's probably
just some stiffness.
553
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,680
Ask your doctor if they can
refer you to a physio.
554
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,720
They might have some stretches
you could try.
555
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,120
Stretches?
556
00:21:57,120 --> 00:22:01,480
I mean, you don't want to just take
painkillers forever. No.
557
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,480
But if I did, could you get me them?
558
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,640
What's happening here? Erm...
559
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,880
I was just having a look
at Christine's shoulder.
560
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,400
Oh, he's got a lovely manner.
561
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,720
Lovely soft hands, Ash.
562
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:14,880
Yeah.
563
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,360
WHISPERING: I don't think
that's very appropriate.
564
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:18,680
SHE MOUTHS
565
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,960
Did you get a look at
her kitchen, then, did you?
566
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,160
I did, thank you.
567
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,480
It's tiny, isn't it? We put
a big extension at the back.
568
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,400
Oh, that's what we're going to do.
Are you?
569
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,640
Yeah, we're going to knock through
to the dining room,
570
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:31,840
then put big double doors in,
571
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,800
so can open up the whole house
out to the garden.
572
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,440
Are you quite keen gardeners, then?
573
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,400
Oh, yeah, yeah. I can't wait to
get out there with my spade.
574
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,560
Well, you'd better watch
where you're sticking it,
575
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,960
because that Labrador that
they had before -
576
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,440
big Sheba'll be up the back
somewhere.
577
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,280
Well, I think
it sounds fantastic, Ash.
578
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,520
You're certainly
going to be kept busy.
579
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:53,160
Yeah, plenty of time, though.
Kitchen first.
580
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,120
Well, if your kitchen's
out of action, you'll no' go hungry.
581
00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:58,680
You're well-placed for takeaways
round about here, eh, Al?
582
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,640
It's good, aye. Mm-hm. Papa John's.
583
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,720
Aye. Domino's.
584
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,600
And there's a good Chinese
as well. D'you like a Chinese?
585
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:07,680
Well, erm...
586
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,360
The New City, it's tremendous.
587
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:13,240
Wait till you try
their spare ribs. Ooh!
588
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,360
There's never any spare
when he's around.
589
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,520
We...we're actually...
590
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,080
You got any menus you can give
them away with them, Beth?
591
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,040
Ooh, I might do somewhere.
592
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,320
See if you've got one
for The Happy Frier.
593
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,880
Do you like chippies, Ash?
594
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,600
Sorry, as in fish...
Fish and chip shop?
595
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,440
Yes. You'll never have tasted
one like this in London.
596
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,680
What's it like, Alan?
597
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,440
I actually prefer Marco's.
598
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,240
What? I do, aye.
599
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,680
I think his chips are better -
thicker.
600
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,400
Oh, don't fucking listen to him.
601
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:41,640
He's talking pish.
602
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,240
No, once you have experienced
a haddock supper
603
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,960
from The Happy Frier,
604
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,560
you'll wish you'd moved
here years ago.
605
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,240
We don't really eat takeaways.
606
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,280
What?
607
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,640
We're not really big fans
of takeaway food.
608
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,920
What d'you do if you want a pizza?
609
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:00,240
We make one.
610
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,520
Eh?
611
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:02,760
We make our own.
612
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,520
Out of what?
613
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,760
OK, here's a couple for you.
614
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,800
Erm, there's the Chinese one,
and a couple of pizza places,
615
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:16,080
and a nice Indian, the Chasni,
and that's got a wee coupon on it
616
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,600
that you're very welcome to.
617
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,080
Thanks.
618
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,120
So when do you start
your new jobs, then?
619
00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:24,960
BOTH: Next week.
620
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,360
What is it you
said you do again, Ash?
621
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,800
I'm a consultant in public health.
622
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,720
So what does that involve?
623
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:35,240
It's really just overseeing policy
around health and wellbeing -
624
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,280
looking at ways we can improve
health outcomes
625
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:38,720
within the population,
626
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,440
looking at what factors
influence those outcomes,
627
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,960
you know, like where you live
and what you eat.
628
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:47,840
Oh, that sounds, erm,
very interesting. Yeah.
629
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,360
Can you get painkillers, Ash?
630
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,840
Right, would anybody else like
another cup of tea?
631
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,720
Oh, yes. Aye, go on.
632
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,840
Yes, please. Bless you, Beth.
633
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,160
She's an angel, that one.
634
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,800
I'll have one. And I tell you
what I will be having -
635
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,680
one of these doughnuts an' all.
636
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:06,560
It's a nice wee spread
she's put on for you.
637
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,400
Naw, I brought them. Did ye?
638
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,760
Aye, she made me.
Oh, well, then, what's left?
639
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:15,360
One raspberry, one fudge sundae,
two chocolate dreamies,
640
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:18,080
an apple pie, and two plain rings.
641
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,200
Oh, that's tremendous.
What'd you have, Eric?
642
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,240
Fudge. How was it?
643
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,680
Delicious.
644
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,160
What about you, Michelle?
645
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:26,920
Apple pie.
646
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:30,920
I had the caramel and custard,
but there was only one of them.
647
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,840
Aye, a wee limited edition.
Alan, what are you going for?
648
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,200
Maybe a raspberry.
649
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,440
What about you guys?
Oh, no, we're fine, thank you.
650
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,880
Oh, come on, a wee doughnut
with your cup of tea.
651
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,240
No, thank you.
652
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,560
Why not?
653
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,680
Ah, come on, Ash. Aye, go on!
654
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,080
Come on, Ash, wire in.
655
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,080
No. Why not?
656
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,440
Well, they're full of sugar,
they contain salt,
657
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,200
they have God knows
how many chemicals.
658
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,920
They're deep-fried
and full of saturated fat
659
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,720
so they're horrendous
for your heart,
660
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,920
not to mention the links to obesity
and raised cholesterol.
661
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,520
And there's also a lot of research
that suggests that wheat,
662
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,160
which of course is what
the dough itself is made of
663
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,040
and which contains gluten,
664
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,360
is a trigger for a lot
of the autoimmune conditions
665
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,960
that we're seeing
more and more of these days.
666
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,560
So basically they're empty
calories and they have
667
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:19,240
no nutritional value and they do
actual harm to your physical health,
668
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,360
which we,
as public health professionals,
669
00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:23,360
then have to deal
with the effects of.
670
00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:26,800
So, no, I won't have a doughnut,
thank you.
671
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,120
Christine?
672
00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:34,840
Chocolate dreamie, please.
673
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,120
Mm.
674
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:52,680
Mm. Mm!
675
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:56,960
What have you got?
676
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,520
A plain ring.
677
00:26:58,520 --> 00:26:59,800
Is it all right?
678
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,400
It's tremendous.
679
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,400
It's beautiful. Mm.
680
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,360
He seems very nice.
681
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,760
Yeah. She's nice, too.
682
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,520
I think they'll love it here,
I really do.
683
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:11,960
Once they get settled in.
684
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,320
PHONE RINGS
685
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,320
Oh.
686
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,120
I'll get that. Who's this?
687
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:17,880
That might be your boilerman.
688
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:22,520
Hello?
689
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,680
Oh, finally!
690
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,480
Right, I'll be out in five minutes.
691
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,000
Eh?
692
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,960
Cos I'm eating a fucking doughnut.
693
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,480
MUSIC: Sugar Hiccup
by Cocteau Twins
694
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,800
# Sugar hiccup, hiccup
695
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:44,240
# Sugar hiccup
696
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,280
# Makes the Earth tough and tumble
697
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,880
# Sugar hiccup
698
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,640
# Heavens curtsey and bow
699
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:01,280
# Sugar hiccup
700
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,720
# Makes a pig soar and swoon. #
83419
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