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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:05,200 CAR HORN BEEPS Ooh, the car's here! Oh, right. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,320 How you feeling? Aye, I'm OK. 3 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:10,800 Are you sure? 4 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,440 Yeah. 5 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:13,600 Give me a hug. 6 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,280 Oh, thanks, Cath. 7 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,960 I don't know what I'd do without you. I honestly don't. 8 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,840 Oh, Col, don't you worry. 9 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:22,200 We are going to give your dad a funeral 10 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,840 that he would be proud of, with all the dignity and respect 11 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,240 that he deserves. 12 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,760 Oh, Cath. 13 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,640 You got hankies in your bag? 14 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:33,760 No. 15 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,920 We'll get the hearse to stop at the garage. 16 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,800 This programme contains some strong language 17 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,320 Aah, sit down, Beth. 18 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,480 We won't stay long, Cathy. Mm-hm. 19 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,400 Sit down, Christine, you're allowed in today. 20 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,920 Ooh, it's nice to get into the warm. 21 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,520 That crematorium was freezin'! 22 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,880 Which is surprising, cos you'd think that given that the... 23 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,000 Er, Christine? 24 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,240 And their pews were a bit on the hard side, as well. 25 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,280 Tell you, if you wirnae weeping before you went in, 26 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,520 you would be after half an hour wi' your arse sat on them. 27 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,440 Er, it was a really nice service, Colin. 28 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:24,680 Eh? 29 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,800 I'm saying the service was lovely. 30 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:29,880 Do you think so? Oh, yes, very nice, Colin. 31 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,160 The wee minister did an excellent job, I thought. Aye, he did. 32 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,840 He judged it just right. 33 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,400 Hm. Mm, very sensitively done. 34 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,080 Yeah. I thought so, too. 35 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,040 How much did he charge ya, Colin? 36 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,520 Right, who's for a drink? 37 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,040 Just a tea for me. Tea? 38 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:46,440 Er, I'll take a coffee. 39 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,160 Oh, aye, I'll have a coffee as well, Cath. 40 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:50,960 You any decaf? All right, Ian, 41 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,800 it's not fuckin' Costa! 42 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:53,840 BREATHY LAUGH 43 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,160 Is there anything you'd like us to do, Colin? 44 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,040 No, no, yous have been great. 45 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,920 I really appreciate you coming today. My... 46 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,760 ..my dad spoke very highly of you. 47 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:06,800 Oh, really? 48 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,800 Oh, yes, he was always asking after you and the family. 49 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,520 Ach, he was a good man. 50 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,360 Only last week he said to me, 51 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:17,440 "How's that wee chunky fella next door with the queer son getting on?" 52 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,840 Can't believe that's him gone, now. 53 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:25,880 Was that his preference then, Colin? To be cremated rather than buried? 54 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,480 Well, I... 55 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,200 I've left strict instructions, for when I die it's to be a burial, 56 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,080 haven't I Beth? You have. 57 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,920 Aye, a coffin with the satin inside and my best cardigan on, 58 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,600 in case I get exhumed. 59 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,240 I just hope we did all right for him. 60 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,800 Aye, I'm sure you did, Colin. 61 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,720 No, no, it was all done very nicely. 62 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,240 I'm sure he'd have been very happy. 63 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,440 Well, I hope so. I really do. 64 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,720 Let's go and see how Cath's getting on with the kettle. 65 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,560 He's not good, is he? 66 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,680 It seemed to be that song they played tipped him. 67 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:02,960 Aye, what was that?! 68 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,680 Well, you know his dad was an accordion player? 69 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:09,080 That was the song he always used to play for Colin when he was a wee boy. 70 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,680 It was just too much for him. 71 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,480 A few tears and a blow at the nose is natural. 72 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,720 That was like something out of The Exorcist! 73 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,320 He was gettin' hysterical. 74 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,000 Thank God the minister switched it off. Oh, him. 75 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,040 He was just wanting the whole thing done and dusted so he could 76 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,120 get onto the next one. 77 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,040 It's no' a Bible he should have under his arm, 78 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,680 it's a debit card machine. 79 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,280 Look, not everybody wants a big religious affair. 80 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,920 Well, they were in the right place today, then, weren't they? 81 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:38,920 I mean, not one prayer and then a quick blast of The Lord's My Shepherd? 82 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,600 I've had better religious experiences with two codeine 83 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,680 and a shot at the foot spa. 84 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,480 Guess what? What? 85 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,960 I was looking for tea bags 86 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,720 and I found a bottle of brandy. 87 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,560 Oh, look Cathy, I'd rather have a tea to be honest. 88 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,200 Oh, Beth! Er, no. Honestly, Cathy. 89 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,920 It's what Willie would've wanted! 90 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,440 Oh, aye, he was very fond of his brandy. 91 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,800 I remember seeing him one morning in ASDA, 92 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,240 when he was self-scanning a quarter bottle. 93 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,920 Cathy, is he all right? 94 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,760 Who? 95 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,560 Colin. 96 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,680 He's awful quiet. He's definitely not his usual self. 97 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:13,840 I know. 98 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,800 He's not even wanting sex or anything. 99 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,800 But he's grieving, Cathy. 100 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,200 I know, but he was gagging for it after the dogs got put down! 101 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,200 Well, maybe the two of you just need some time on your own? 102 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,440 Now... 103 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,920 ..nice to see Ian in a shirt and tie, isn't it? 104 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,200 Look at you, Ian! 105 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,640 You look like you're all ready for working in a phone shop. 106 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,440 Oh, here he is. 107 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,840 Ah, you all right, Colin? 108 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:39,640 Now, how is my brave boy? 109 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,240 Is there anything I can do for you? 110 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,320 No. 111 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,160 INAUDIBLE 112 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,200 No. 113 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,400 WHISPERS: He still doesn't want to, Beth. 114 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,840 I was just saying your, er, your dad was a man for his brandy, wasn't he? 115 00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,680 Eh? Oh, aye, aye, aye. 116 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,600 Aye, he liked his brandy. 117 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,960 Mm, a brandy's good for the nerves. 118 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:08,560 Pat over the back gave me one in DFS when I signed for that couch. 119 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,040 I tell you what else he was very fond of... 120 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:12,240 ..music. 121 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,840 He was a great man for his music. 122 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:17,000 I mean, see that accordion? 123 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,680 See when I was a wee boy? 124 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,320 See, we used to get it out. 125 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,280 He'd get it on his knee and he'd start to play... 126 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:28,240 Oh, fuck, he's going to go again. 127 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,880 VOICE BREAKING: He'd always play me the same wee song. 128 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,440 Er, why don't we have a toast? 129 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,040 A toast, aye. That's a good idea. 130 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,320 Colin, shall we have a wee toast? 131 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,640 Aye. Aye, all right, then. Good man. 132 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,960 Woohoo! I'll get a couple of bottles of prosecco. 133 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,400 No, Cathy, we'll just do it with this! 134 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,680 You going to do it, then? 135 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,600 What, me? Aye, I don't think I could. 136 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,160 Right, er... 137 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,560 ..erm... 138 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,120 Oh, for Christ's sake! Will somebody just say something? 139 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,600 OK, OK... 140 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,120 Er... 141 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:18,440 Er, well...so, it's been a sad day today, seeing Willie off. 142 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,480 He was a...he was a real character. 143 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:27,000 Everybody here today will remember him fondly for... 144 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,600 ..for all the many things that, er... 145 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:36,280 ..that he got up to and all the happy times they had with him. 146 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:40,800 Er, so, if you'd care to join me in raising a glass... 147 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,080 ..to Willie. 148 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,520 ALL: To Willie! 149 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:50,920 Thank you, Eric. 150 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,360 That was lovely. 151 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,920 Aye, that was nice, Dad. 152 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,480 Here, Colin. 153 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,760 Do you no' think we could maybe say a wee prayer for your dad? 154 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,720 Er, no. 155 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:06,720 I mean, I don't want tae go on aboot it, but that wee minister 156 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,320 couldnae lead a fuckin' conga, never mind a prayer! 157 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,080 Look, Christine, I don't think Colin wants that. 158 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,680 Actually, that...that...that might be nice. 159 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:19,280 A...a prayer might be nice. 160 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,000 Mh-hm. 161 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,960 Right, come on, let's do it properly. 162 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,520 There we go, that's it... 163 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,920 Eric! Join hands. 164 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,960 Jesus. Beth, Beth...that's it. 165 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,600 Heavenly Father, 166 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:40,000 we are gathered here today in Colin and Cathy's front room 167 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,760 to say farewell to Colin's dad, 168 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,880 who has recently died and been cremated. 169 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,080 Ashes are expected on Wednesday. 170 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,720 It is Wednesday, Colin, aye? 171 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,200 It's Wednesday, aye. 172 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,640 Wednesday, Father. 173 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,640 KNOWING CHUCKLE 174 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,520 Bit busy after that cold snap, maybes. 175 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:03,960 So, we ask you for your comfort at this sad time. 176 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,000 Colin has been quite upset. 177 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,760 In fact, he was crying very loudly 178 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,520 when the music came on in the Crematorium. 179 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,800 So much so that the wee minister guy, 180 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:19,760 who you would not have liked, had to press pause on the CD. 181 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,040 Ahem! 182 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:26,840 So, we thank you for being with us today. 183 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:35,360 And could I just say, also, a wee prayer for Father Di Marco, 184 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:39,200 who has been under a great deal of stress recently. 185 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:43,320 I personally believe that what happened in 1985 186 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:46,560 should stay in 1985. 187 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,280 Amen. 188 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,280 ALL: Amen. 189 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,160 I'll tell you the one that really floored me when he died. 190 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:02,080 And I can remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. 191 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,680 Seve Ballesteros. 192 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,320 Beth, another brandy? 193 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:07,680 No, thank you. 194 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,640 The amount of people that he must have inspired to go up that 195 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,880 pitch n' putt is incredible! 196 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:18,520 I see you've had, er...you've had quite a...a few cards, Colin. 197 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:21,480 Oh, aye, he was very well-liked. PHONE BUZZES 198 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,520 That's from Paddy Power, 199 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,680 and he got one from a Ladbrokes. 200 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,880 Er, Mum, is it OK if I maybe make a move? 201 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,120 Yes, I think so. 202 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,560 Your dad and I are going to be going shortly, too. 203 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:32,800 What's that, Beth? 204 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,680 Ian's just heading off. What?! 205 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:37,400 Yeah, Gordon's coming to get me. Said he'd text when he's outside. 206 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,800 What, he's outside now? 207 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,080 Well, yeah. 208 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,000 I should maybe just... 209 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,640 ..go and say a quick hello. 210 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,120 Hi, Gordon, honey! 211 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,760 RADIO PLAYS "ANNIE'S SONG" BY JOHN DENVER 212 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,480 Hi, Cathy. 213 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,160 How are you? 214 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,000 Oh, not so good, Gordon, to be honest. 215 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,880 It's Colin's dad's just died and we had to have a funeral. 216 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,400 Yeah, I was sorry to hear that. 217 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,000 Were you quite close to him? 218 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,360 To Willie?! 219 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,640 Oh! Yeah. Yeah... 220 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:14,720 How's Colin doing? 221 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:15,920 He's terrible, Gordon. 222 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,840 He's taken it very badly. 223 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,280 Would you like to come in and see? 224 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,320 No. Come on. No, honestly, we... 225 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,840 Come on! Just for a minute! 226 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,360 No, Cathy, I can't. 227 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,160 Thanks very much for coming, Ian. 228 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,280 Aye, no bother, Colin. 229 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,880 And listen... 230 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,720 ..you cherish your parents while they're still around. 231 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,200 Aye, I will. 232 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,560 Aye, look son... 233 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,320 ..I know they can maybe get on your nerves. 234 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:49,560 I mean, some people find your father very, very boring and... 235 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:52,000 ..and your mum... 236 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,240 ..she's a bit on the dull side as well, Ian. 237 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:58,400 But, see, the thing is, see when they're gone? 238 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,120 You'll miss them. 239 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,680 Ooh! Change of plan. 240 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,960 Gordon would like to come in now. 241 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,280 We'll have one more and then we'll go. 242 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:12,400 Look who I found! Sit down, Gordon, sit down. 243 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,800 Ian, give me your jacket. 244 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,240 Come o-o-on! 245 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,280 That's it. 246 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,400 Aah... 247 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,000 Sorry to hear about your dad. 248 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,000 Did the funeral go OK, did it? 249 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,400 Oh, it was a...it was a nice wee service. 250 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,520 It was very disappointing, Gordon. 251 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:33,720 Very disappointing. 252 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,760 Gordon, would you like a brandy? 253 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,240 I'm driving. 254 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,840 Colin's father has died, Gordon. 255 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,760 Er...OK. 256 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,960 I'm sorry I couldn't make it. 257 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,080 It's all right, Gordon. 258 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,200 I'm rubbish at funerals anyway, to be honest. 259 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,120 Are you, Gordon? Are you rubbish? 260 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,560 Did you ever meet my dad, Gordon? 261 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,000 Er...no, I don't think I did. 262 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,320 Er, you did. 263 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,040 Remember that day I pointed him out to you? 264 00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,920 Oh, the man sleeping on the grass! 265 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,760 He...he was a real character, so he was. 266 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,880 It...it's...it's a sad day. 267 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,440 Ian said he was a musician? 268 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,440 That's right. It was the accordion he played. 269 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,800 Do you know I...I remember as a wee boy, there was this... 270 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,760 ..there was this one song that he... SOBBING: ..he used to play for me. 271 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,600 Gordon, do you remember Seve Ballesteros? 272 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,960 There you go, Gordon. 273 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:32,320 We've had a toast already, so just take a sip and then give me a kiss. 274 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,400 Ooh, you taste all boozy. 275 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,280 You stink! You're going to have to get a taxi, now! 276 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,840 Beautiful V-neck pullovers. 277 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,720 Every colour under the sun. 278 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:51,920 You all right there, Colin? 279 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,480 Aye. 280 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,240 I'm just thinking, he would have loved all this, you know. 281 00:12:56,240 --> 00:13:00,160 Everybody sat round with a wee glass of something. 282 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,120 And remember that Christmas we had him stay, Cath? 283 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,720 Oh, what, when he pissed the couch? 284 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,520 Oh, aye, he was...he was in great form. 285 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:11,600 I can...I can still picture him sat there with his paper hat and cigarette. 286 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,920 Waiting for the Queen's speech to come on, 287 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,480 so he could give her the finger! 288 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,600 Was that your last Christmas together? 289 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,640 It was the last one he was allowed to come here, yes. 290 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,600 What age was he, Colin? I don't think the minister said. 291 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,160 He was 91. 292 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:27,760 91, eh? Phew... 293 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,160 91. 294 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,160 That's what you call a good innings! Oh, aye, aye. 295 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,120 Seve was only 54, Gordon. 296 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,200 If he was 91, then he was born when? 297 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,840 Oh, a long time ago, Beth. 298 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,600 1928 he was born. 299 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,640 So, was he in, like, the war and that? No, Christ, he'd have only been a boy. 300 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,480 My grandpa was in the D-Day landings. 301 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:49,840 Shh, Gordon. 302 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,400 Ian, another brandy? 303 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,960 SHE PINGS GLASS He did National Service, though. 304 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,480 Aye, well, that was the thing. I mean you...you had to. 305 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,560 See, if you'd been around then, 306 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:01,960 you'd have had to go in the army whether you liked it or not. Oh, no, Eric. 307 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,760 They didn't take homosexuals. 308 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,560 We've still got pictures of him somewhere in uniform. 309 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:07,920 Fuck, not them... 310 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,000 Not now, Colin, too soon. 311 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,400 Don't upset yourself. 312 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,680 I can still remember him whistling all the old songs 313 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,560 that he'd picked up in the barracks, you know? 314 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:21,640 It's A Long Way To Tipperary, Pack Up Your Troubles and what was the... 315 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,840 ..what was the marching one, again? 316 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,040 HE WHISTLES COLONEL BOGEY MARCH Oh, aye, aye, aye. 317 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,320 Oh, yeah... 318 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:33,720 ALL JOIN IN APART FROM CATHY 319 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,320 Go on, Gordon. March! March! 320 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,120 Pfff! 321 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,480 Pfff! Pfff! 322 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,520 Pfff! Pfff! Pfff! 323 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:43,600 Pfff! 324 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:44,640 SHE LAUGHS 325 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,600 I remember him whistling that clear as day. 326 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:55,280 This isnae the same couch that he pissed on, is it? 327 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:01,960 Cathy... 328 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:06,320 Oh, Beth! I mean, thank God I got all this ice in! 329 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,640 Listen, I don't think we'll stay much longer. Sorry? 330 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,440 Well, we'll head off and leave you and Colin 331 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,040 to have a bit of time to yourselves. 332 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,200 No, you can't do that, Beth. Why? 333 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,120 Because Willie's dead. 334 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,440 I know! 335 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:22,120 And I think Colin needs a bit of time to himself to deal with it. 336 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,120 You say that, Beth, but I think he's taken a great deal of comfort 337 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:29,160 from us all being around him and enjoying our drinks! 338 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,360 I really think, Cathy... 339 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,840 I. Am. Colin's. Wife, Beth. 340 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:34,960 I know what he needs. 341 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:39,360 What he needs is for you to take this ice, 342 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,240 go back through to the sofa 343 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,440 and stop trying to spoil the party! 344 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,520 Now, Father Di Marco. 345 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,440 His funerals are something else. 346 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:53,040 People come from all over to attend them. Really? 347 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:56,360 Here, you should come tae one when he gets back! 348 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,840 Where is he? 349 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,200 He's on a wee break in Argentina. 350 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,440 Gordon, what do you think of Ian and his tie? 351 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:05,920 It's, er... 352 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,520 ..yes. Looks good. 353 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,720 Ian, do you like Gordon in his shirt? 354 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:10,840 Er... 355 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,040 ..yeah. 356 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,000 Maybe you two should just stay the night. 357 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,240 Naw... Oh, no, you can if you want. 358 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:19,160 I've...I've heard guys doing it before. 359 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,560 In hotels. 360 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:26,440 Oh, here he is! Here's my boy with the empty bladder. 361 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,440 All right there, Colin? 362 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,760 Aye. 363 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,800 We, erm... 364 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,600 We gave him a good send-off, didn't we? 365 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:34,640 Course you did. 366 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,720 Oh, aye, yeah. Do you think? Definitely, aye. 367 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,240 Well... 368 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:42,760 It's a sad day but, in a way, it's a good day, eh? Mh-hm. That's it. 369 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,560 We're sad that he's gone, 370 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,240 but it's good to be able to celebrate his life. 371 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,760 In some bits of the world, the whole thing's a celebration. 372 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,000 Aye, that's true. 373 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,320 Like Mexico. 374 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,760 Oh, Mexico. 375 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,720 Pat's son went to Cancun and somebody 376 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,880 wrote a T on the end of his luggage tag. 377 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,560 New Orleans. 378 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,040 I mean, the whole thing there's like a big party. 379 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:06,320 Oh, aye. They've got the bands and all that, haven't they? The jazz bands. 380 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:07,960 Ooh, I like the sound of that! 381 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,240 Yeah, everybody has a bit of a dance and joins in. Oh, yeah! 382 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,240 Well, we should play some music! 383 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,320 Do you really think that's a good idea, Cathy? 384 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,240 Oh, Colin, that would make you feel better. 385 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:18,840 Let's play some music! 386 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,160 I mean, not jazz, cos that's just shit. 387 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,440 Well, a hymn would be a... 388 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,680 Shut up, Christine! 389 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:25,760 Right... 390 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,280 ..Oh, I know, I know, I know! Oh, I love this song! 391 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,720 SMOOTH, SEXY MUSIC PLAYS 392 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,400 Such a good idea, Gordon. 393 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:37,200 Now, listen, we've had the funeral, very sad. 394 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:42,080 Poor Willie, in his coffin, off he goes behind the curtain. 395 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,680 Lots of sandwiches and speeches. 396 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,200 But that's all finished, now. 397 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,400 Now? 398 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,040 We're going to have a party. 399 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,200 MUSIC BECOMES LOUD AND UPBEAT 400 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,400 Woo! Yes! 401 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,920 Come on, Col! Woo! 402 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,480 DOORBELL RINGS 403 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,440 Who the fuck is that?! 404 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,680 Oh! Hi, Cathy. 405 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,920 Michelle. 406 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,560 Erm, we heard about Colin's dad. 407 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,720 Oh, yeah, yeah. 408 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,800 It's... 409 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,640 ..it's really sad. 410 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,000 I got you a wee card, so... 411 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,560 Oh, look, thanks, Michelle! 412 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:31,920 Come in. 413 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,520 Oh, no, I won't just now. I just thought... 414 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,680 Come on, all the sad stuff's finished. 415 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,120 We're having drinks now. 416 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,640 Are you sure? Yes, in you come! 417 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,280 OK, well, I'll just let Alan know. 418 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:44,680 Where is he? 419 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,840 Oh, Alan, Alan! 420 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,240 Ala-a-an! Come in! 421 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,320 Colin's dad's died and we're celebrating! 422 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:57,800 What's happened to the music?! 423 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,720 I turned it off, Cathy. 424 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,480 Michelle's here, everyone! 425 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:03,960 Hi there. 426 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,520 Hello, Michelle. 427 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,200 Michelle brought you a card, Colin. 428 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,800 A-a-aw... 429 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,240 Aw, that's lovely. 430 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,080 Sit down, Michelle. Sit down. 431 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,000 Oh, here's Alan! Hug Alan, too. 432 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,120 Hug Alan. 433 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,520 There you go, nice cuddle. 434 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,600 Oh, he's cuddly, isn't he, Michelle? Big, whoargh... 435 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,400 ..cuddly Alan. 436 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,360 We're really sorry to hear about your dad, Colin. 437 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,000 Oh, he was 91, Michelle. 438 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,960 No' exactly a big shock. 439 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,800 So, what would you like to drink? Oh, no, we're fine, honestly. 440 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,400 Alan, would you like a drink? 441 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,800 Aye. What would you like? 442 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:54,920 I'm having a brandy, Alan, in honour of Willie and Seve Ballesteros. 443 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,720 Brandy for Alan. 444 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,000 Brandy, Michelle? 445 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,600 Oh, no, thanks, honestly. 446 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,640 An old man has died, Michelle, take a fuckin' drink! 447 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,200 UNDER BREATH: Fuck's sake... 448 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,640 Right... 449 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:11,880 Cheers, Alan! Cheers, Michelle! 450 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,320 Cheers, everyone! Woohoo! 451 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,960 So, was it the funeral today, was it? 452 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,640 It was Alan, aye. 453 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,720 Cremation, Alan. Right. 454 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,040 Followed by a buffet. 455 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,160 Oh, that's nice. 456 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,520 Oh, very modest affair, Michelle. 457 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,400 Couple of pound a head, max. 458 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,200 So had he not been well, Colin? 459 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,400 Well, obviously... 460 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,480 He was all right until a few months ago and then he had a fall. 461 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,240 That's what happens with old folk. 462 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,600 They just fall. 463 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,000 Your mum fell, didn't she? 464 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,320 She did. Er... 465 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,440 So what happened? 466 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,160 Well, it was downhill from there, Michelle, to be honest. 467 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:59,320 Erm, he took a wee funny turn, then... 468 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,320 ..then he was admitted to hospital and... 469 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,040 Colin's in a state of grief, Michelle. 470 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,200 I think it's best you don't make him go through the whole 471 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:07,680 experience again. 472 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:08,920 No, listen, I don't mind... 473 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,000 Don't do it to yourself, Colin, please. 474 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,160 Oh, sorry. 475 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,600 Michelle, where did your mum fall? 476 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,960 Er... Greenock. 477 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,560 Shall we put some more music on? 478 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:18,800 Did she bang her head? 479 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,160 I'll put some more music on and Gordon can watch me dance. 480 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,320 No, Cathy, we don't need any more music. 481 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,240 Is that the order of service? 482 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:27,720 Do you mind if I have a wee look? 483 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,720 Oh, go on, Michelle. Aye, have a look Michelle. 484 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,080 Look at that, no' even a crucifix or nothing. 485 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,120 I half expected to turn it over and see a list of fried rice dishes 486 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,640 on the back. 487 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,480 William Cuthbertson White. That your dad's name, was it? 488 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:42,760 Willie. 489 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,520 Aye, my uncle, he was Willie as well. 490 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:49,320 Aye, you don't see so many Willie's about these days, do ye? 491 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,520 IAN SNORTS 492 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,000 Sorry, sorry. It's just... 493 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,920 ..sometimes, if it's really serious... 494 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,400 It's all right. 495 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:04,800 You're all right, Ian. 496 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,720 I'll tell you worse than that. 497 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,000 I worked wi' a guy 498 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,520 called Willie Dick. 499 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,680 BOTH LAUGH 500 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,080 Willie Dick! I'm no joking. 501 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,480 OTHERS LAUGH 502 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,440 Here, have you ever done that thing 503 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,640 where you find out what your porn name is? Oh, aye! 504 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,040 Oh, porn names! I love that game! 505 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,120 Er, Ian, I don't think now's quite the right... 506 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,480 Gordon! What's the name of your first pet? What? 507 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,560 Yeah, you take the name of your first pet 508 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,160 and then you put your mother's...what is it, Ian? 509 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:42,800 You take the name of your first pet and you put it together with your mum's maiden name 510 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:47,000 and then those two names are the name you would use if you were in a porno film. 511 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,520 So, what's the name of your first pet, Gordon?! 512 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:50,880 Er... Toby. 513 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,720 And what was your mum's maiden name before she was married? Nicholls. 514 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,720 So, you'd be Toby Nicholls. 515 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,400 Mm-hm. See, even his porn name is boring. 516 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,640 Let's do another one. 517 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,840 Beth, you do yours. No, Cathy. 518 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,280 Oh, say it, go on, ple-e-ease? 519 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,680 Fluffy Hunter. 520 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,880 THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY 521 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,440 All right, all right. 522 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,920 It's a stupid game anyway, Cathy. 523 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,120 Sorry, I... I need a glass of water. 524 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,840 Fluffy Hunter! 525 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,360 Oh, Christine, do yours. 526 00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:41,080 What is it? The pet? 527 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,480 Yes, the pet! 528 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,880 Oh, well, it was definitely a tortoise. 529 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:46,320 I remember that. 530 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:47,960 Was it George...? 531 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:51,400 Aw, hang on, there was a gerbil prior to that. 532 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,160 What was he called...? 533 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,880 Oh, come on, Christine! 534 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,360 Hi, Colin. Hi, Gordon. 535 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:02,600 How you feeling? 536 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,640 I'm OK. 537 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,120 Well... 538 00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:07,240 ..not bad. 539 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,040 Well, actually I'm... 540 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,600 ..I'm terrible, Gordon. 541 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:15,680 Oh. 542 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,120 Oh, right. 543 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,080 Anything I can do? 544 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,720 What can anyone do, Gordon? What can anyone say? 545 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,560 Maybe, don't have another brandy? 546 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,840 You know, it...it didn't hit me until today, 547 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:46,400 but now that my dad has passed away that's me on my own. 548 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,560 I am now alone in the world. 549 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,080 You're not alone, Colin. 550 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:55,280 Am I not? 551 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,640 No, you're never alone. 552 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,240 We're all here. 553 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:00,920 I'm here. 554 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:04,880 C'mere. 555 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,000 There we go. 556 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,200 Good lad. 557 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,880 Oh! Oh, so sorry. 558 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,040 Just came to get a glass of water. 559 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,880 Oh, c'mere. Come on. 560 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,680 C'mere. Oh. 561 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,320 Aw... 562 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:27,760 Aw... 563 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:41,720 Oh... 564 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,840 So, if we say, for the purposes of this, 565 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,400 that the cat predated the gerbil... 566 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,240 Oh... ..although it was technically a stray, I remem... 567 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,000 Hey! 568 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,880 You all right, Colin, aye? 569 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,640 I'm no bad, Ian. 570 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,160 I'm actually feeling a wee bit better. 571 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,480 Just had a wee chat with Gordon, there. 572 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:03,800 Oh, good! Good. 573 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,520 And Michelle came through looking for a hug, so... 574 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,120 ..we're naw too bad. 575 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:13,760 You've just got to accept, don't you, that...that things move on. 576 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,000 I've got my memories, though. 577 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,800 Well, we all do, by the sounds of things. 578 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,760 He seems to have left his mark on all of us, hasn't he? Oh, aye, aye. 579 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,200 Certainly has, aye. 580 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:23,920 I didnae know him. 581 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,160 You'll always have your memories, Colin. 582 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,480 Oh, aye. 583 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,360 In fact, do you know what? 584 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:31,520 I can see him sitting just there, 585 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,640 exactly where you're sat just now, Christine. 586 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,600 In fact... 587 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,520 ..stand up a minute. Eh? 588 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,080 Stand up. Come on. 589 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,640 Right... 590 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,080 Where... 591 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:49,080 ..where is it...? Aye. 592 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:52,640 There it is. 593 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,360 What is it? 594 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,640 That's his burn. 595 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,680 That's where he burnt the carpet wi' his cigarette. 596 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:04,560 And we had to move the sofa over to cover it up, didn't we, Cath? 597 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,440 We did. 598 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:07,840 Aye, look at that. 599 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,600 I really appreciate you guys being here today. 600 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:15,720 It means a lot to me. 601 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,080 Aye, you're all right. 602 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,560 We're here for you, Colin. 603 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,120 Without you guys today, I... 604 00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:23,720 ..I don't think I'd have been able to cope. 605 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,720 But yous have really given me the strength I needed. I... 606 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,840 ..I feel stronger just knowing that yous are here. 607 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,320 Oh, Colin. 608 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,440 In fact, do you know what I think I'd like to do? 609 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:35,560 Not another hug... 610 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:39,640 I think I'd actually like to listen to that song. 611 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,600 The one that we started playing in the crematorium, but... 612 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,200 Now, Colin, are you sure you want to do that? 613 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,400 Yes. 614 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:48,600 Yes, Beth. 615 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,160 I feel I'm ready to listen to it now. 616 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,680 That was my dad's favourite song and, as you say, today is as much 617 00:27:55,680 --> 00:28:00,080 about celebrating his memory as it is saying goodbye to him. 618 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,120 So, Cathy, stick it on. 619 00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:03,800 You sure? Aye. 620 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,320 Go on! I want tae hear it! 621 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:13,680 SCOTTISH ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS 622 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:20,840 COLIN SOBS 623 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,400 I fucking knew it! 624 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:32,560 # We all need a hug in the morning and one at the end of the day 625 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:38,120 # As many as possible squeezed in between 626 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:42,480 # To keep life's troubles at bay 627 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,640 # No matter wherever you ramble 628 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:50,280 # Your problems be great or be small 629 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,960 # A hug is the best cure of all. # 71788

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