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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,640
Eric! Scrambled eggs ready!
2
00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:06,200
Oh, sorry.
3
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,360
It's all right.
4
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:11,760
This programme contains some strong
language.
5
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:12,840
Thank you.
6
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,960
DJ CHATS ON RADIO
7
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:20,360
Good morning, Mr Baird.
8
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,480
Hi, son.
9
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,040
Are you having a shave?
10
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,160
Aye. I've got some post-shave
moisturiser, if you'd like it.
11
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,800
No, you're all right.
12
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:28,920
It's good for cuts.
13
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,160
I don't get cuts.
14
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,240
Have you ever tried growing a beard?
15
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,280
No.
16
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:37,240
I did, but I kept on getting
stopped at the airport.
17
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:38,720
What about a moustache?
18
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:39,760
No!
19
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,520
I tried one but Ian said it
was too tickly.
20
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,160
Mr Baird?
21
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:45,200
What?
22
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,280
You've cut yourself.
23
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:06,960
So, what are you up to today?
24
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,640
Not much. What about you?
25
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,000
Well, once your dad's away, I'm
going to go and get my hair done.
26
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,760
Aw, nice. Are you getting it dyed?
27
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,160
I mean, cut?
28
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,720
Well, I'm just looking forward to
getting a bit of time to myself.
29
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,000
DOORBELL RINGS
30
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,360
Oh, Beth, you're up and dressed.
Good, I'll come in.
31
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,080
MUSIC: Love Sex Magic
by Ciara ft Justin Timberlake
32
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,080
Ooooh, there he is.
33
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:41,640
Give us a twirl.
34
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,040
Wait till I get my hat on.
35
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,000
Hey, hey!
36
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,680
Oh, look at you!
37
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,320
Like a wee Krankie.
38
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:50,960
Right, that's me.
39
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,120
Latvia, here I come!
40
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:54,440
Are you no' taking a bag?
41
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:57,640
Naw! Everything I need
I've got in here.
42
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:01,080
Passport, my wallet,
tickets for the match, my lip balm.
43
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,720
What about clean pants and stuff?
44
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,080
Oh.
45
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,200
Fair enough.
46
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,800
So then I pressed confirm.
47
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,920
You know how you get that wee box
down at the bottom
48
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:17,240
on the right-hand side that
says confirm?
49
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,000
Uh-huh. Well, I pressed that.
50
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:24,520
And then the wee dots started going
round and round in a circle.
51
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,440
And then I says to her -
what was it I said, Sophie?
52
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,880
"What do they wee dots mean?"
53
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,000
Uh-huh.
54
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,240
And she says -
what was it you said again?
55
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,640
"Buffering."
56
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,120
Buffering, Beth.
57
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:39,640
It buffered and
buffered and buffered and then...
58
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,160
went blank. It froze halfway
through the order,
59
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,000
so we don't know
if it's gone through or not.
60
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,000
What were you buying?
Don't ask.
61
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,040
A buggy.
62
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:48,080
Oh, right.
63
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,240
The Barneyboo, Beth.
64
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,760
In navy, in't it, Sophie?
65
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,080
Barneyboo, Ian.
66
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:57,240
I said that I would buy her that and
her breast pumps,
67
00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,640
and Pat over the back is going to
buy her the brolly to match
68
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,280
and an Elsa potty.
69
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,480
Oh, hiya, Christine.
70
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,400
Oh, you're here, as well?
71
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,920
You've got a houseful the day, Beth!
72
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,280
Uh-huh. Well, Ian and Jaz are
staying here until
73
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,160
they get the keys to
their new place.
74
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,120
And is that all your boxes there?
75
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,200
Uh-huh.
76
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,800
Let me know if you've got any
bubble wrap going a-begging,
77
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,360
because Sophie loves popping that
wi' her teeth.
78
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,680
For fuck's sake.
79
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,720
Actually, Jaz,
you might be able to help.
80
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,680
Are you any good wi' computers?
81
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:26,720
Sorry, I'm not.
82
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:27,760
What it is is...
83
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,680
She was in the middle of buying
something online
84
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:30,960
and her computer froze.
85
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,320
Sophie, can I get you anything?
86
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,160
A cup o' tea for me, please, Beth.
87
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,800
So, Jaz, what was it you said that
you thought it was again?
88
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:42,960
I really don't know.
89
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,320
I mean, it might be something to
do with your router.
90
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,880
My what-er? Your router.
91
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,360
Either that or a virus.
92
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,520
A virus.
93
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,560
What do you think?
Could be, couldn't it?
94
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,880
Is that what you think, Jaz?
A virus?
95
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,680
And where might that have come from?
96
00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,560
From spam?
97
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,440
A spam virus?
98
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,320
Oh, my God!
99
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,800
I thought maybe just the Wi-Fi
signal was weak.
100
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,880
Well, it would be weak if it'd
had a virus.
101
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,560
That's not how it works, Christine.
102
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,640
Look, could you shush for a wee
minute, Ian?
103
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,280
Jaz is the expert here.
104
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,440
I'm really not.
105
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,720
Jaz, do you think that I
might've been hacked?
106
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,160
Ugh! Look, I'm sure it's nothing
to worry about, Christine.
107
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,160
Oh, that's easy for you to say.
108
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,200
You're not the one that'll be
sitting here without a buggy,
109
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,320
while some thieving bastard is
cutting about Nigeria,
110
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,520
away out for his tea wi'
money aff my debit card.
111
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,680
Did we not get some kind of booklet
thing that came with our broadband?
112
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,960
Aw, yeah, yeah. I think it's in one
of those boxes.
113
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,080
Thank God Jaz is here, eh, Sophie?
114
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,320
CATHY: Yoo-hoo!
115
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,640
It's only us!
116
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,360
Oh, here he is!
117
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,920
All set? Hiya, Cathy.
118
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,280
Morning, squire.
119
00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:54,520
Look at you in your
dressing gown, Eric.
120
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:58,160
Lovely big towelling robe keeping
you all nice and warm.
121
00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,520
Hi, Cathy.
122
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,040
Hiya, missus. Oh, Eric,
are you not even dressed yet?
123
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,280
And I've got scrambled eggs
sitting there for you.
124
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,240
Have you, Beth? Lovely.
125
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,960
I'm nearly ready. I was just
packing my bag.
126
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,680
What are you taking a bag for?
127
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,480
Just put all your essentials into
your sporran, that's what I've done.
128
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,120
That's all Colin's done. Aye, it
weighs it down at the front as well,
129
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:16,360
so it doesnae flap up, you know?
130
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:17,640
Flap up and show your cock.
131
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,280
Ah! Thank you, Cathy.
132
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,520
What? Well, I don't think we need
to spell it out.
133
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,360
Well, we all know he's got one.
134
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,720
You said it was thicker than a....
135
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:27,760
Cathy!
136
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,400
Colin's going commando, aren't you?
137
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,200
I am. Well, you know, if you're on
the pints it just saves time
138
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,240
after a while, Beth.
139
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,320
I'm not wearing a kilt.
140
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,360
BOTH: What?!
141
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,400
He's not wearing a kilt.
He doesn't even have one.
142
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,400
You can't go on a trip with the old
Tartan Army no' wearing a kilt.
143
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,920
Well? Colin, what about your
old one?
144
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,960
That'll no fit Eric. Look at
the size of him.
145
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,280
Oh, go and get it. It'll be fine.
146
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,800
I've wiped all that stuff off it.
147
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,920
Beth!
148
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,280
Oh, is that Christine?
149
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:58,520
Beth!
150
00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,800
Coming, Christine!
151
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:01,960
Yes, Christine?
152
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,080
Jaz thinks it's my router.
153
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,640
I'll go and see if I can figure out
what's the matter with it.
154
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,520
Give us your computer.
155
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,240
Technology, eh, Jaz?
156
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,640
Here, I've got a flashing Christmas
headband that is on the blink
as well.
157
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,120
You might have a wee look at
that, if you don't mind.
158
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,640
Oh, he's a little wizard,
this one, aren't you?
159
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,080
Right, I'll not be long.
160
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,440
So, what are you getting up to
while Eric's away?
161
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,000
I'm having my hair done this
afternoon.
162
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,280
What? I'm having my hair done.
163
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,560
You're going out? Yes.
164
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,480
Today? Yes.
165
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,000
Oh.
166
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,400
What about you?
167
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,800
Oh, busy, Beth.
168
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,600
I've, er, tons of stuff to be
getting on with.
169
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,080
What time'll you be back?
170
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,280
Beth.
171
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,320
So, how are you doing, missus?
172
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,680
I'm OK.
I'm getting a bit tired now.
173
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,560
I was gonna say, you look done in.
174
00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,320
Oh, it's so exciting though,
isn't it?
175
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,880
Just think, in a few months' time
you'll be a mum!
176
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,240
A single mum, knackered, but making
the most of it.
177
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,760
Aye, never mind her! I'm knackered.
178
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,080
I've been up since seven o'clock
this morning trying to get
179
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,800
my hands on a Barneyboo.
180
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,960
A what? A Barneyboo, Cathy.
181
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,880
It's a buggy, Mrs Whyte.
182
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,600
THE Barneyboo.
Oh, you should see!
183
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,000
What's it like, Sophie?
184
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,560
It's all right.
Eh?! It's absolutely beautiful.
185
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,520
I said that I would get her that and
her breast pumps,
186
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,320
and Pat over the back's going to get
her the matching brolly
187
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,000
and an Elsa potty.
188
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,160
So, are you breast-feeding,
are you, Sophie?
189
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,200
I'm gonnae try.
190
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,800
Aw, that's amazing.
191
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,720
Jaz, isn't that smashing?
192
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,120
Little baby sucking all the milk out
of Sophie's breasts.
193
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,200
It helps you to bond with the baby.
194
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,920
Oh, yeah. Why pay for milk when
you've basically got two big
195
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,960
bottles attached to you already?
196
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,400
You all right, troops?
Howdy doody.
197
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,680
Christine's computer's packed in.
198
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:56,720
Aw, no.
199
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,080
I know. Oh, that's terrible.
200
00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,920
It is. And is there nothing you can
do with it at all, Jaz?
201
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,880
She was in the middle of ordering
a Bunnybugger, Colin.
202
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:05,320
Barneyboo.
203
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,360
Oh.
204
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,400
It's a buggy.
205
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,280
Hey, what's aw this?
206
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,400
It's for the football.
207
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,200
They're going to Latvia to see
Scotland play, Christine.
208
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,240
Latvia?
209
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,240
There's a guy that goes to my gym
who's from Latvia. Is there, Jaz?
210
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,880
Yeah. It's a beautiful country,
apparently.
211
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,920
It's Riga we're going to, Jaz.
212
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,800
And you say it like this - Riga.
213
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,320
Yeah, that's where he's from.
214
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,640
He says it's a really popular
destination for men looking
215
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,680
for cheap alcohol and prostitutes.
216
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:32,720
Oh.
217
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,440
Can you imagine being
a prostitute, Beth?
218
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,520
Sorry? In and out strangers' cars
all night.
219
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,520
I just couldn't do it.
220
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,480
I get travel sick if I
can't see out.
221
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,680
Oh, Jaz,
can you clear up that mess, please?
222
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:48,920
Oh, sorry.
223
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,600
There is so much shit everywhere.
224
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,080
I don't know how you cope with it.
225
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,040
Colin, are you wanting anything?
226
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,520
Have you still got some of that
scrambled egg on the go?
227
00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:01,080
Oh, Christine,
what a shame about your Buggeryboo.
228
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,720
Barneyboo.
229
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,000
COLIN: Why don't you just order
another one?
230
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,400
Eh? If your order didnae go through,
just order another one.
231
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,160
Oh, right enough.
232
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,440
Where's my computer?
233
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:12,480
Ian's away with it.
234
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:13,680
Beth, iPad!
235
00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:15,400
No, honestly, just leave it.
236
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,680
You're all right, Sophie. We'll get
aw this sorted out for you.
237
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:22,000
Yeah, you single mums need all the
help you can get.
238
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,040
Beth!
239
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,720
What?!
Where is your iPad?
240
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,480
We're gonnae order another
Barneyboo.
241
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,720
Oh, for God's sake.
242
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:30,760
Pig sty.
243
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,520
Ah!
244
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:34,560
Right...
245
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:36,760
Oh, no.
246
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,800
What is it?
247
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:38,920
Battery low.
248
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,200
Technology, eh, Jaz?
249
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,280
Jaz, do you mind nipping
upstairs, see if you can find
250
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:45,680
the charger for that, please?
251
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:49,520
When it works, it's great. When it
doesn't, you're totally fucked.
252
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,280
Oh.
253
00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,600
Sorry.
254
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,040
I was just looking for
the iPad charger.
255
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,120
Over there.
256
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,440
You know, I've got clippers if
you want to...
257
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,720
No.
258
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:18,360
Just a wee bit of privacy in
my own home would be fine, thanks.
259
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,280
Have you ever been to
Latvia, Sophie?
260
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,640
No, no, I've not.
261
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,840
That's the great thing about the
Tartan Army, you know.
262
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,920
It gives you
a chance to see the world.
263
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,240
I mean, I've been in hospitals and
police stations all over Europe.
264
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,760
Barneywhat, Christine?
265
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:39,800
BOTH: Boo!
266
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,560
I like the way she does that.
267
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,720
Look at that, Sophie.
268
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,520
I'd love an iPad.
269
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,720
But there's always the worry of
sitting on it.
270
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:59,000
I'll leave that to you, Jaz.
You're the, er, whizz kid.
271
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,760
Cathy, come over and sit next to
me so I can watch it.
272
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,160
No, no.
273
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,160
All right, I'll come and
sit next to you then.
274
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,520
Sophie,
can I get you anything at all?
275
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,200
I'm fine, Mrs Baird, honestly.
276
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,880
Do you want a banana or something?
277
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,000
No, I'm OK.
278
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,840
Bananas are supposed to be good if
you're pregnant, are they not?
279
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,760
I don't really like them. I'll have
a banana, Beth, if there's one on
the go.
280
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,600
You've not even finished
your roll yet!
281
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,080
48 hours solid drinking
ahead of us.
282
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,840
Cannae do that on an
empty stomach.
283
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,200
You're not drinking for 48 hours,
surely!
284
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:36,800
No. Well, the game's 90 minutes and,
well, there's no bottles allowed in,
so, naw.
285
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,040
Beth? Beth?
286
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,080
Yes, Christine?
287
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,520
I'll take a wee banana.
288
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,520
Oh, dear God.
289
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,160
Right. Anybody else want a banana?
290
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,400
No, thank you.
291
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,560
Jaz?
292
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:50,120
No, thank you.
293
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,160
Oh, Beth?
294
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:53,840
I'll take half of one.
295
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:56,960
Er...
296
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:00,920
Please, may I have an apple?
297
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,320
Right. Christine, quantity?
298
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:05,360
Er, one.
299
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,400
Oh, uno.
300
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,920
Card details?
301
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,480
Ah, Christ! I've left my bag
in the house.
302
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:13,920
Oh, Christine!
303
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,360
Sophie, nip back next door and bring
me my bag, will you?
304
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,520
No, you don't need to bother.
305
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,600
All right, I'll give you the
money back, Cathy.
306
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,920
It's not my card, it's Beth's.
307
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,000
Oh.
308
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,640
CATHY: Expiry?
309
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,440
CHRISTINE: 04-19.
310
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:40,640
Aye, there's a few trips to
Morrison's left in you, my friend.
311
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,520
Well, what d'you think?
312
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,000
Yeah...looks good.
313
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,120
What?
314
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,880
What is it? What's she laughing at?
315
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,800
All right, that's enough.
I'm taking it off.
316
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,640
No, no, you big baby!
317
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,280
I'll just put my jeans back on.
318
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,720
Honestly, Eric, it's fine.
Looks good.
319
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:09,000
It looks fine, Mr Baird.
It really suits you.
320
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,760
Are you wearing anything underneath?
321
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:11,920
Well, yeah.
322
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,800
Are you? Of course!
323
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,160
I'm not going to Latvia and back wi'
a bare arse.
324
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,280
I saw his bum earlier when I
was upstairs.
325
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,680
It was really hairy.
326
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,920
Colin is a true Scotsman.
327
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,480
Have you got nothing on under that?
328
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,440
No. Aw, for God's sake!
329
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,000
There's food being served here!
330
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,920
Maybe change the shoes, Eric.
331
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,320
To what? Well, boots or something
would look good.
332
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,400
That's what guys normally
wear wi' a kilt.
333
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,200
I've no' got boots. I have!
334
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,160
Well, sort of high tops.
335
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,160
What size are you?
Nine. Oh, snap.
336
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,200
Go and try them on.
337
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:48,280
Big size nine feet on the end
o' they wee dumpy legs.
338
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:51,640
He looks like somebody's put him
together at a jumble sale.
339
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:56,880
TV IN BACKGROUND
340
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,760
Thanks, Beth.
341
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,160
You all right, Sophie?
342
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,440
Just a bit knackered.
343
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,960
Huh, you and me both, pet.
344
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,400
This is supposed to be
me getting a day to myself.
345
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,560
Do you want to go upstairs for
a wee lie-down?
346
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:14,600
Do you mind?
347
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,800
On you go.
348
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:23,200
Where's she going?
349
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,000
She's going up for a sleep.
350
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,120
Beth. Beth!
351
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,560
God bless, Beth. There we are.
352
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,720
Jaz, Jaz!
353
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:40,200
Let's get a look at the history,
see what Beth's been looking at.
354
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:45,600
Right, so lasagne recipes,
second-hand Fiat dealers, Santander.
355
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,760
Here, I'll put something in for her.
You'll know it.
356
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,520
Latino monster cocks.
357
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,240
Oof!
358
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,560
Eh, sorry, Mr Baird.
359
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:13,920
DOOR SHUTS
360
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,240
Aw, here he is. You took your time.
361
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,360
Aye, sorry.
362
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,400
How did you get on?
363
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,160
I switched everything off
and left it for a good five minutes
364
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,480
and then switched it back on and
it's fine!
365
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,320
As simple as that? Aye.
366
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:29,360
In fact, it looks as if that thing
you were buying has went through.
367
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,520
You're joking?
368
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,160
Naw. Hang on,
I'll just connect to the Wi-Fi here.
369
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:34,840
Jaz, password!
370
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,040
I don't know.
371
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,520
Oh, it must be a hard one if Jaz
doesn't know it, eh, Beth?
372
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,440
It's all right, I've got it.
373
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,240
There you go - look!
374
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,440
Hang on, hang on! What's going on?
Has she got one?
375
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:46,640
She's got two.
376
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:47,720
Two?
377
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,400
Well, if you ordered one when
you came in here
378
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,920
and the original one went through,
then you've got two.
379
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,400
Aw, no. Aw, no, no.
380
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,520
Jaz, how could you let this happen?
381
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,720
It's fine. We'll just,
we'll just cancel one of them.
382
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:03,360
Beth, phone up and cancel yours.
383
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,080
Mine? Well, it's on your card, so...
384
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,440
It's on my card?!
385
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,080
We used your debit card to buy it.
386
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,320
Oh, for God's sake!
387
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,960
Well, Christine'll give you the
money. It's all right.
388
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,680
Can I wait till the end of
September, Beth?
389
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,920
Right, who am I phoning?
390
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,600
Aw, hey, here he is.
391
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,200
Aw, hey, they look the business,
Eric.
392
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,480
Do you think?
Oh, trainers are ideal.
393
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,680
Comfier, aren't they?
394
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,960
Aye, they dry oot quicker than
boots if you get hit by
395
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,240
the old water cannon.
396
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,920
I hope they don't keep your mum on
hold for too long.
397
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:37,400
I was on the phone for 45
minutes last week to
398
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,440
a wee boy in Calcutta about
a fault in my oven.
399
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:41,640
By the time we'd finished,
400
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:44,200
I was for sticking my head in
the bloody thing.
401
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,080
What, er, what time are we meant to
be there?
402
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,560
Should we not be getting
a jilldee on?
403
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,480
Hand baggage only, Eric.
We'll be through in no time.
404
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:51,800
Are you excited, Eric?
405
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,760
Aye, I am quite looking
forward to it.
406
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,680
Not still wearing the pants,
are you?
407
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:56,720
Aye, I am.
408
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,760
Aw, he's letting his country down,
isn't he, Colin?
409
00:16:58,760 --> 00:16:59,840
He can do what he wants.
410
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,080
No! He should take them off!
411
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,840
We all want you to, don't we, Jaz?
412
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,080
No! Oh, don't be such a spoilsport,
Eric.
413
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,560
Colin's is tiny when it's soft and
he's still going for it.
414
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,680
No! Booo!
415
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,360
BETH: Right, that's it cancelled.
416
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,840
Well done, Beth.
417
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:18,920
Credit where credit's due.
418
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,560
You are amazing when it comes to
cancelling stuff.
419
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,760
Christine, I'm saying that's
it cancelled.
420
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,960
Beth, what d'you reckon?
421
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,200
Really?
422
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,600
Sure he shouldn't wear pants, Beth?
Tell him to go bare.
423
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,680
Christine, what are you doing?
I've phoned and cancelled it!
424
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,480
Take a look at this!
425
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:43,760
Cherry tomatoes, 79 pence.
426
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:48,520
Cherry tomatoes, 79 pence,
add to basket.
427
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,000
Oh, satsumas in the net, 1.59.
428
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,200
Christine, what are you doing?
429
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,720
Oh, I'm just doing
a wee online shop, Beth.
430
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,400
Ian's got me wired up to
your Wi-Fi here.
431
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,600
It's like lightning.
432
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,080
What else? Oh, carrots.
433
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,480
A 5kg bag.
434
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,600
Who's gonna buy that?
Bugs fucking Bunny?
435
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,520
Toilet rolls. Where's Sophie?
436
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,760
She's still upstairs.
437
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,600
Is she sleeping?
I think so.
438
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,200
Ian, away and wake her up and ask
her if she wants Cushelle or Andrex.
439
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,320
Right. Well, I hate to be a pain but
is there any chance you could
440
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,080
finish that off next door?
441
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,120
What?
442
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,560
Well, I've got a hair appointment
this afternoon and, Eric,
443
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,000
you two will need to be getting to
the airport, will you not?
444
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,080
What am I going to do?
445
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,640
Aye, we should be thinking of
making tracks, actually.
446
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,400
As I say, I hate to be a pain...
447
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,480
What about Sophie?
448
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,360
Well, the boys'll be here.
449
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:43,120
Beth, can I come with you to
the hairdresser's?
450
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,400
I'm gonna get dreadlocks.
451
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,240
PHONE RINGS
452
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,560
Oh, wait a minute.
453
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,800
Who is this?
454
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,120
Hello?
455
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,160
Speaking.
456
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:56,480
What?
457
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:57,960
It's about the Barneyboo.
458
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,520
Oh, for God's sake.
459
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,680
Sh! Sit down.
460
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:04,840
Now, don't tell me you don't have
it, because we've just checked
461
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,160
here and it's said it's
gone through.
462
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,200
Good.
463
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,040
What?
464
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,080
Aw, no.
465
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:16,360
They don't have it in the blue,
they've only got it in the red!
466
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,640
Oh, God, no. Red's fine, Christine!
467
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,440
Are you joking?
468
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:25,000
Going about with that with the hood
up, she'll look like Postman Pat.
469
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,240
Pat!
470
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,200
The brolly, the brolly!
471
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,080
Hello?
472
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,240
Er, no, this is Mrs Baird.
473
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,000
I'm with Mrs O'Neil.
474
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,840
Er, no, she's on the other line at
the moment.
475
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,760
Hello, Pat, it's me.
476
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,040
Pat... They're asking if she wants
a refund.
477
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,720
Christine... Sh, sh, sh.
478
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,120
Pat, are you there!
479
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,920
Answer machine.
480
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,080
Aw, hell's teeth!
481
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,880
Don't tell me that she's already
away out buying the brolly.
482
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,960
Look it's complicated. There's
a brolly involved.
483
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,840
Erm, Pat's buying the brolly.
484
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:05,840
Hello, Pat, can you phone me ASAP?
485
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,440
I'll not say much till I
speak to you,
486
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,640
but there's been
a problem with the Barneyboo.
487
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:12,920
Oh, and by the way,
488
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,200
Asda have got satsumas in the net
for 1.59.
489
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,320
Okey dokey.
490
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:19,960
Right, give me that.
491
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,400
Right, son, this is Mrs O'Neil
now.
492
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,320
Let me get this straight.
493
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,840
You don't have the buggy
in the blue? Right.
494
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,600
You've only got it in the red?
495
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:32,760
Uh-huh.
496
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,680
And you don't know when you're going
to get blue ones back in?
497
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:36,760
Fine.
498
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:41,040
But, you have refunded the
money onto my card?
499
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,120
Good-oh.
500
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,360
Now, fuck off.
501
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,360
What are we going to do?
502
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,760
So, then I said to her, "Well, I'm
thinking about using cloth nappies,"
503
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,600
and she says, "What d'you want to
use cloth nappies for?"
504
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,600
And I said, "Oh, cos they're better
for the environment."
505
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,920
And then she said, "Oh, you'll
no' be saying that when your
506
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,480
"environment's a sink full of
shitty nappies."
507
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,600
It's only nappies, innit?
508
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,440
It's not just nappies,
it's everything.
509
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,400
It's shawls, cots, dummies.
510
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,400
One dummy's the same as
another, is it not?
511
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,400
Not after she's tested it
out, it's not.
512
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,360
Well, at least you're getting
the buggy you want.
513
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,200
I'm not getting the buggy I want.
514
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,480
I only said yes to shut her up.
515
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,280
It's not exactly worked, has it?
516
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,720
No, you're right, it hasn't.
517
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,080
We should be getting
a move on, should we not?
518
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,480
Er, just wait a minute, Eric,
until we sort this out.
519
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:35,960
Have you not got the hairdresser's?
520
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,560
You're going nowhere, missus.
521
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,520
What?
Pat's already got the brolly!
522
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,800
Eh? Pat's got the brolly,
so we need to get the buggy.
523
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,000
Now, Christine's on the phone
to...
524
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,040
Who are you on the phone to,
Christine? Argos!
525
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:50,440
Argos. I've still
got this Vivaldi blaring in my ears.
526
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:51,760
The Four Seasons.
527
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,040
Feels like a fuck of
a lot longer than that.
528
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:58,000
Oh, hello?! Hello,
I wonder if yous could help me...
529
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,760
Beth, you do Debenhams. Eric, you
do Mothercare. I'll do John Lewis.
530
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:04,120
..I'm phoning to enquire if you've
got a blue Barneyboo buggy in stock.
531
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,200
Er, Barneyboo.
532
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,920
"Barney" as in argument,
533
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,720
"boo" as in gie you a fright.
534
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,160
Do Halfords do buggies, Jaz?
535
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,680
Er... Come on, Jaz, think!
536
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,720
I'll give them a try anyway.
537
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,440
Oh, useless bastards.
538
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:25,880
All right, who am I doing now?
539
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,760
TK Maxx, Christine!
540
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,640
Aw, bloody junkyard!
541
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,080
Oh, hello! Hello, yes...
542
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,160
All right,
I'll give them a try anyway.
543
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,560
Aw, have you no'?
544
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,600
Ooh, yes, hello! I'm looking
for a Barneyboo in navy blue.
545
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:39,640
Aw, that's a shame.
546
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,000
And do you have it in blue,
by any chance?
547
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:46,000
Just out of interest, how much are
you doing screen wash for?
548
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,920
No, you don't, you've only
got them in red?
549
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:48,960
Ssh!
550
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,480
Oh, hello!
I'm so sorry to trouble you,
551
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,320
excuse me, but we have
a bit of an emergency here.
552
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,280
So, my friend's neighbour's daughter
is pregnant, but Pat over the
553
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:02,440
back has already got the brolly but
we are looking for the Buggeryboo
554
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,480
to go with it, so I'm wondering if
you can help us with that at all?
555
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,200
Oh, no, don't put me on hold!
556
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:09,640
Aw, there she is.
557
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,800
I hope you're
feeling nice and rested.
558
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,200
It's going like a Filipino
sweatshop in here.
559
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,120
Mum, listen.
Er, Christine.
560
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,240
Mum, will you listen?
See this buggy....
561
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,440
Christine... Mum!
562
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,920
What is it, Sophie?
563
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,280
Christine, they've got one!
564
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,680
I don't want it.
565
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:25,800
You what?
566
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,080
Sophie, what's the matter?
567
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,040
I don't want the buggy.
568
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:32,120
I've decided, and you can tell Pat
to forget the brolly
569
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:35,040
or whatever it is that she's got to
go with it as well.
570
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,480
Aw, no, no, no, no, no.
571
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:39,720
Mum! Will you listen?
572
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,280
It's my pregnancy and it's my baby
573
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,880
and I just want to be able to choose
my own stuff.
574
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,080
Erm, can you hold the line for
a minute, please?
575
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:53,840
Sophie, listen...
576
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,880
Sophie, we have done everything.
577
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:59,560
We have been sitting in here working
for you and your baby... Cathy.
578
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:00,680
Cathy!
579
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:03,400
Sophie's right.
580
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,640
Maybe I have just got
a bit carried away wi' all of this.
581
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,520
I didn't mean it.
582
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:14,560
Honestly.
583
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:20,160
It's just that, wi' this being my
first and hopefully my last
584
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,120
grandchild, I just had my heart set
on getting everything right.
585
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,920
And when I saw that buggy, I just
thought, that's it.
586
00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:34,680
I can just see Sophie wheeling
that about the town,
587
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:38,120
Pat's wee brolly on the side
keeping the sun out.
588
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:39,880
Mair like the rain, I think.
589
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:40,920
Ssh!
590
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,520
But, maybe you're right.
591
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,640
Even as the grandmother,
592
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,160
I should just keep my nose out.
593
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,840
It's a shame, but, hey-ho...
594
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,600
..if that's what you want.
595
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,560
Get the buggy!
596
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,600
Only if you're sure.
597
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,680
Get the buggy, but I swear,
from now on, I'm in charge.
598
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:13,840
Got it?!
599
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:14,880
Mm-hm!
600
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,920
Right, hello.
601
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,400
Yes, we'll take it.
602
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,720
Er, great.
603
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,160
And that's the Barneyboo...
604
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:24,720
In blue!
..and it's definitely navy blue?
605
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,480
Great. OK, and we can pay for it
when we collect it?
606
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,680
Oh, that's great.
607
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,000
No, no, no - that's all.
608
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,360
Thanks for your help. Bye!
609
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,920
Hey-hey!
610
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,960
Oh, great.
611
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:39,680
Oh, Jaz!
612
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:40,720
PHONE RINGS
613
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,000
Oh, ho! Oh, there's Pat.
614
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,280
Hello, Pat.
615
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,200
Yes.
616
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,200
What?
617
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:49,240
Oh.
618
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,000
Oh.
619
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,400
Oh, yes,
620
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,520
I'll let her know.
621
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,160
Thanks. Bye, Pat.
622
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:03,520
What was she saying?
623
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,120
It's about the brolly.
624
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:12,040
She has been everywhere and she
couldn't get it in the navy blue.
625
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:14,680
So she's got it in the red.
626
00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:30,680
Where are you travelling to today?
627
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,640
Riga. Ah, away for the football, eh?
628
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:33,680
Aye.
629
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:34,840
Any bags to check in?
630
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,680
No, no - this is us.
631
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,680
I can show you the inside of my
sporran if you like.
632
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,960
No. No, you're all right.
633
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:42,000
Passports?
634
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:45,640
First time over there?
635
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,760
Aye, aye. I hear it's very popular.
636
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,920
Aye, what's not to like?
Cheap alcohol and plenty of fa...
637
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,240
Gate 20.
638
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,640
Boarding in 40 minutes.
639
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:56,840
Thank you.
640
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,440
Here we go, eh! Excited?
641
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,680
Oh, I'm just excited to get away
fae that madhouse.
642
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,560
Christ, I've no' had
a moment's peace the whole day.
643
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,480
Just the boys now, eh? Here, Eric.
644
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,240
Oh, no. On you go.
645
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,360
It's a wee tradition, that.
646
00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaking of which, are you no' going
to do the true Scotsman thing, no?
647
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:23,480
Och, sod it! Why not?
648
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,680
That's the spirit!
649
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,240
Here, on you go in behind there.
650
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:29,120
Eh? On you go.
651
00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:30,640
Nip in there. Naebody'll see you.
652
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:44,440
PASSENGERS CHEER AND LAUGH
653
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,440
Oh, shit!
654
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,720
You little...
74226
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