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This programme contains strong
language and discriminatory language
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00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,200
You got it? Yep. Sure you're OK
there? It's quite heavy. I'm fine.
3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,960
Listen, I'm just thinking...
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00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,000
..shall we get the Christmas tree
down while I'm up here?
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00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,840
Yes, all right, I suppose we could.
6
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Right, I'll pass it down to you.
7
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Ready? Give me a minute!
8
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,720
Just watch yourself with it.
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00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,760
Yes, all right, Eric,
I'm not totally useless.
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00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,000
Everything OK?
11
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,200
Yep, all fine.
12
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,000
Do you not think it's a bit
early to put it up?
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00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,600
I mean, it's not even December yet.
14
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Pfft, it's fine.
Who's going to notice?
15
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,080
KNOCKING
16
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Christine. That's me
definitely going.
17
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Going where?
18
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:07,920
To Ireland.
19
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:11,800
For God's sake, Beth, do you not
listen to a thing I tell you?
20
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,120
Of course I do. We're in
the middle of a big clear out
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00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,680
and I'm just a wee bit busy.
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Right, OK, I'll come in and I'll
talk you through the arrangements.
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00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,840
But I cannot stay long.
24
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,240
Right.
25
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,080
Are you putting your
Christmas tree up?
26
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,600
It's a bit early, is it no?
27
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,240
Yes, well, we were up
in the loft anyway,
28
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,320
so we just thought we might as well.
29
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:39,120
Oh, you see, I always
follow what the church does,
30
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,640
and they put it up 12 days before.
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00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,720
No, you're thinking
of Twelfth Night.
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00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,360
That's when you take it down.
33
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:49,240
Yes, a church puts theirs up on
the first Sunday of December.
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00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,680
Do they? Mm.
35
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,440
Well, that's awful early.
36
00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:55,920
I think I'll have to have a word
with Father Haggarty about that.
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00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,880
I don't think it was ever up that
early in Father Kowalski's day.
38
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:03,080
But he really was a religious man.
39
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,400
Where is it he is now?
40
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,360
B&Q, Nitshill. Ah.
41
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,120
But I don't think I'll bother
putting up a tree this year,
42
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,560
what with me not being here.
What's this?
43
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,040
I'm going to visit my cousin
Dearbhla in Ireland
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for Christmas, Eric.
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00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,120
Oh, it's fantastic, Christine.
46
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,640
It's so nice that they made
contact with you.
47
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,240
Oh, I know, Beth.
48
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:26,320
And to think, if Dearbhla hadn't
sent that saliva sample off
49
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:30,680
to Ancestry.com we might never have
known that we were related.
50
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:36,040
Imagine if she'd had
a dry mooth that day.
51
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,400
Er, whereabouts are they?
52
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,520
County Galway, Eric.
Oh.
53
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:43,120
I get the train to Stranraer,
a ferry to Larne,
54
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,160
a bus into Belfast
and then coach down to Galway.
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00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,120
Oh! A bit of a trek, that!
56
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,520
So, er, will it be Dearbhla's
whole family?
57
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:52,640
Oh, yes.
58
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:56,000
Her husband, Eoin, now he's
got his own plumbing business,
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00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,080
so I will be looking
forward to a bath.
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00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,120
That's definitely on the list.
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00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,320
And then there's her twin girls,
Maeve and Aoife.
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00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:08,640
Aw. It'll be nice to meet them
because they're actually my...
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00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,840
What is it? My first cousins.
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00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,880
No, no, no, second.
65
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,600
Oh, aye, I'm forgetting
they're twins.
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00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,200
Well, you'll have a great time,
I'm sure.
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00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,720
Oh, I hope so, Eric.
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00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,720
I must say, I am looking forward
to it.
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00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:27,880
Although it will be strange not
being at home on Christmas Day.
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00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:32,480
Oh. I know you're always keen
to have me in here, Beth,
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00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,360
so I do feel a bit guilty
that I might be letting you down.
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00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,840
Are you sure you're
OK with me going?
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00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,560
You're all right... We'll be fine!
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00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,760
Well, I think it's time we get
down to discussing what bag
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00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:44,880
I'm taking, eh?
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00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,600
Ah, well, the thing is, Christine...
DOORBELL RINGS
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Ah, who's this interrupting us?
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00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,640
That's no you got your Christmas
tree up already, is it, Beth?
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00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,600
Beth! Well, uh-huh...
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00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,320
It's a bit early, is it not?
Mm. Well, we were up in the loft...
81
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,360
Do you know? Just let her
do it, Col,
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00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,640
it'll brighten up
that dingy front room.
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00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:08,800
I suppose so.
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00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,400
It's OK, Beth, that's fine.
85
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,760
If it gives you something
to look forward to, that's OK.
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00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,720
Should we go in and see it?
Oh....
87
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,760
She'll be put out if we don't.
You know what she's like.
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00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,480
Right, we'll just come
in for a minute and see it, Beth.
89
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,040
Apparently, the cooked
breakfasts onboard
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00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,560
the Stena Line are excellent.
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00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,680
Ah. Irene up the high flats told me,
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00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:37,040
they serve a black pudding that is
technically illegal on dry land.
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00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,960
Ah, here he is - wee elf here,
helping you put your tree up, Beth.
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00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,720
He's far too big for an elf, Col.
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00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,240
Oh, and there's Christine...
Ah. How are you doing?
96
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,920
Oh, no bad, Colin.
97
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:53,400
That is me all booked up
for Ireland for Christmas.
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00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,880
You're going to
Ireland for Christmas, are you?
99
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,720
Oh, yes, I'm staying with my
cousin, Dearbhla in Galway.
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00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,240
Oh, that's nice, you're not
going to be here, Christine.
101
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,040
You'll be having a bit of
the black stuff over there, eh?
102
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,880
Remember, we went to
the Guinness factory
103
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,320
when we were in Dublin, Cath?
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00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:12,280
Oh, God, that place?
Oh, I will not be going back there.
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00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:13,680
Oh, why not?
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Only serves fucking Guinness.
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00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,320
So is this you getting
all set for Christmas, then?
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00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:19,720
What's the plans?
109
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,480
Ah, well, nothing special.
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00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,800
It's just the two of us,
so just, you know, traditional.
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Traditional?
112
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,680
Well, you've no made a very good
start putting your tree up
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00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:29,720
this fucking early.
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00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,640
And what about you two?
Do you know what you're doing?
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00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,280
We're going to that same hotel
again on Christmas Day
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00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,080
because we quite like it, don't we?
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00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,520
It's really festive
how they decorate it all.
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00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,760
And you get steak instead of turkey,
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00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,080
a cocktail instead
of Christmas pudding,
120
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,600
and there's a massive
smoking section out by the nativity.
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00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,720
The problem we've got is
we don't know what presents to get.
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Well, I'm fine just with money.
123
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,520
No. I mean for each other.
124
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,480
Yeah, we're not getting you
anything, Eric.
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00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,680
You see, we've already got
everything, haven't we?
126
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,760
Mm. Oh, poor you, right enough.
127
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,680
I always get Colin
pants for Christmas
128
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,000
but I can't get any more
in the drawer. No.
129
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,160
And you can't exactly take the old
ones to the charity shop, can you?
130
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,120
No, they don't take them.
131
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,880
Well, certainly
the British Heart Foundation don't,
132
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,120
though Irene did tell me
about a website
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00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,800
where there seems to be
quite a lot of interest.
134
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,720
We were just going up
to the charity shop
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00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,120
once we'd finished the tree.
136
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,000
Are you getting yourself
something, Beth?
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00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,080
Well, it is finished, really,
apart from turning on the lights.
138
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,800
OK, then,
let's see the big switch on.
139
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,240
Come on, Eric,
up off your fat arse.
140
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:41,480
Here, Beth, this reminds me
of that time we saw Marti Pellow
141
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,280
switch on the lights in Clydebank.
Do you remember that, Beth?
142
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,560
I do.
143
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,760
I'm no actually sure whether
he was on the heroin at that point
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00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,320
because we were quite far back,
you know.
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00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,720
Right, are we all ready?
146
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:56,040
Aye. Yeah. Aye, go on.
Come on, Eric!
147
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,480
Oh... Oh.
148
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:02,520
Ah, well, you know, you could
always stop by the dump as well.
149
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,640
I don't know how much longer
I'm going to manage
150
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,320
getting in and out
of this seat, Alan.
151
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,960
You want to start
getting in the back?
152
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,000
No, I mean you might
need to get a car
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00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,960
or get on my insurance or something.
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00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,440
Oh, aye, right, right.
155
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,160
I'm really starting to struggle
on the stairs as well.
156
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,920
You maybe chucked the gym too soon.
157
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,480
Look! Beth's got her Christmas
tree up.
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00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:35,640
Do you think we should go over
159
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,400
and say a wee quick hello
and see it?
160
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,240
Nah.
161
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,880
We've got a nice picture of us
in front of the Oscar Wilde statue
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00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,960
in Dublin, haven't we? Aye.
163
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,800
Oh, you know,
my favourite quote of his is
164
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:52,040
is when he was going through
customs in America and he said,
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00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,120
"I have nothing to declare
but my genius."
166
00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,200
Well, I preferred the statue
of Molly Malone.
167
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,600
You go up, rub her tits,
brings you luck.
168
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,240
Oh, for God's sake.
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00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,560
I did as well.
170
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:09,760
We went to Temple Bar after that,
we didn't get hassled by one beggar.
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00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:10,960
Mm.
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00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,480
DOORBELL RINGS
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I'll go.
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00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,640
Oh, hello, you two!
175
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,360
Or should that be two and a half?
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00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,320
She's some size now,
in't she, Eric?
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00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:30,520
Train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne,
bus to Belfast, coach to Galway.
178
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,000
Oh, my God, I'd need a flight
to Switzerland after that.
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00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,160
That's a proper Irish
road trip, that.
180
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,600
It is, Colin.
181
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:41,360
But, do you know, I now feel I've
got a really deep connection
182
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:45,840
to Ireland, now that I know for sure
that I've got Irish blood in me.
183
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:49,240
If you're going to Galway, would you
no be better flying to Shannon?
184
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,680
Where's that?
185
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,160
Oh! Hi, Michelle. Hi, Alan.
186
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,360
Hi!
187
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,880
Hello, everyone.
188
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,920
Sorry to just appear
at your door, Beth.
189
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,760
Oh, don't worry about that,
no-one else does.
190
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,920
How are you, Michelle?
191
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,920
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
Just so tired all the time.
192
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,920
Oh, yeah,
you do look really knackered.
193
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,200
Come and sit down, Michelle.
194
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,880
Come on. Yeah, there we go.
195
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:19,360
Sit down there. How's you, Alan, eh?
Everything all right?
196
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,400
Aye, all right. Just back from
the garage with the van.
197
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,320
Oh, no, something wrong with it?
198
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,680
Somebody ran into the back of me,
Eric. Oh...
199
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,280
Oh, my God, what happened?
200
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,840
Were you eating a sausage roll
while you were driving, Alan?
201
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,280
No, I was coming off the motorway
to go through the tunnel
202
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,320
and there was a wee jam,
so I had to slow right down.
203
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,920
Next thing I know, somebody's
ran into the back of me.
204
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,920
Oh! And they'd be on their phone,
no doubt.
205
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,400
Aye. And see the force of it,
206
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,800
mine's flew right out my hand,
under the seat.
207
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,640
They took their time fixing it
at the garage, didn't they? Mm.
208
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,280
Alan was late picking me up
from antenatal class.
209
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,480
Oh, no.
210
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,960
Ah, it's fine, Beth,
you cannae see the dent at all.
211
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,360
So, anyway, how are you guys doing?
How's Ian?
212
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,080
Oh, he's fine, aye.
213
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,200
He's coming over to have a look
through his old stuff
214
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,360
before we junk it.
215
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,920
Are you trying to get rid
of every trace of him, Eric?
216
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,320
Have you any baby stuff, Eric?
217
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,680
Because maybe Alan and Michelle
might want that.
218
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:15,560
I remember she used to have him
in a lot of brown, Michelle.
219
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:19,880
Eric, it's fine. I've ordered
loads of stuff already, actually.
220
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,840
You know, all the wee babygrows
and the jammies and the wee onesies.
221
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,360
They're just all so cute,
aren't they?
222
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,960
Oh, they are, Michelle.
223
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,840
Well, until they soil them.
224
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,360
Have you made any decisions
on names, Michelle?
225
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:37,640
No, because we still can't seem to
agree on anything, can we?
226
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,520
But if it's a boy,
I like the name Lewis.
227
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,200
Good Scottish name, that.
228
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,240
Do you no think it sounds a bit like
"loos", though, Eric?
229
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,160
And are you definitely sure you
don't want to find out
230
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,040
what you're having, Michelle?
231
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,000
I mean, that would make it
a bit easier.
232
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,160
No, I just don't want to know.
233
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,520
No, I'm not that interested
either, Michelle.
234
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,680
Can I get you a tea or
a glass of water or something?
235
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:06,280
I'd take a water off you
if it's not too much trouble, Beth?
236
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,200
Er, what about the
rest of us, Beth?
237
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,040
Aye, here, have you
got any mince pies?
238
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,840
A wee cup of tea and a mince pie,
that'd be nice. Mm.
239
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,280
Well, the thing is...
Oh, aye, a tea and a mince pie,
240
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,320
I wouldnae say no!
Eh, first of the season.
241
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,360
Aw, I fucking hate mince pies.
242
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,360
Have you got the ones
with the brandy in them, Beth?
243
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,200
Oh, I'd take one of them, though.
244
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,120
No, you see...
You know, I love the ones
245
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,520
with all the cream on the top.
Oh, have you tried them?
246
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,320
Oh, I like the sound of them.
247
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,920
Have you got any of them, Beth?
248
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,400
I haven't got any mince pies.
249
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,200
Oh... Aw!
250
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:40,080
You cannae invite us all in here,
saying it's the start of Christmas
251
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,560
and not have any Christmas
stuff in for us.
252
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,920
We didn't do that!
253
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,640
You've got your tree up, Eric -
that sends a message.
254
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,560
It's like the swingers
with the pampas grass.
255
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,880
Yes, Eric, shut your face.
256
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,000
Is that really a thing, that,
the pampas grass?
257
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,200
I thought it was just like
one of those things folks say.
258
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,160
Oh, no, no, no, no. There's a couple
round the new-builds that had it
259
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,920
and they were very, very active...
260
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,560
..apparently.
261
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:06,120
Beth, don't worry about the water,
actually, I'm fine.
262
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,760
Aye, and it makes the baby kick,
then she goes on about it.
263
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,760
Don't be daft, of course
I'll get you a glass of water.
264
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,440
And I'm happy to do teas and coffees
for anyone who's wanting,
265
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,640
I just don't have any mince pies.
266
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,760
I mean, we were just
clearing out the loft,
267
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:25,400
not declaring that it
was officially Christmas.
268
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,160
I mean, I'd like to have
the power to do that,
269
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,160
but I'm afraid I don't, OK?
270
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,120
Beth?
271
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,920
You don't even have a wee tub
of Celebrations or nothing, no?
272
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,440
DOORBELL RINGS
273
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,200
A bit early with the tree,
are you not?
274
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,520
What is it, just
feeling Christmassy?
275
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,840
I wish we'd never bothered,
to be honest.
276
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:07,600
Quality Street is what I used to get
when it was just Sophie
277
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,200
and me, you know?
278
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:13,240
Oh, the green ones were my
favourite. I used to love them.
279
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,640
Aw, and what about Sophie?
What ones were hers?
280
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:16,800
All the other ones.
281
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,640
Oh, right, not like you to have
a houseful.
282
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,440
Hi, son. Hi, Ian.
283
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,360
Hiya, Dad. Hi, Colin. Hi, Cathy.
284
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,360
How are you doing, Ian?
Och, I'm fine.
285
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,680
How are you guys? Everything OK?
286
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,640
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just feeling...
No really, Ian.
287
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,440
Somebody went into
the back of my van.
288
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,400
Oh, no. I know. I just
got it back today.
289
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,400
You weren't in it at the time,
were you? No.
290
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,440
Oh, well, could've been worse.
Well, you're saying that,
291
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,680
but that was two full days it
was aff the road.
292
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,240
Anyway, how are you doing, Ian?
How's Gordon?
293
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,920
Aye, he's good, he's coming over
here to meet me after college.
294
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,360
Oh, is he still enjoying it?
295
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,800
Oh, aye, he's loving it.
296
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,680
I'm not loving being the only
one earning, though.
297
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:55,520
Oh... And you'll be on
a very poor wage as it is, Ian.
298
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,880
What did he pack his job
in for anyway, Ian?
299
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,200
Och, basically he just wasn't happy.
300
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,640
Oh, you see, this is the new thing,
isn't it?
301
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,040
You don't like something,
you just stop doing it.
302
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:13,120
Never used to be like that. No, you
just kept going, that was your lot,
303
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,200
you just had to accept it.
304
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,880
Like you with Eric, Beth.
305
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,240
Right, listen, you want to look
through this stuff
306
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,920
from the loft before
we throw it out?
307
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,680
Oh, right, now? Oh...
308
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,600
OK, where is it? I'll go get it.
309
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,200
So, what are you and Gordon
up to for Christmas, then?
310
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,000
Oh, just having a quiet one,
to be honest.
311
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,640
We did invite them but they said no.
312
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,840
Och, Gordon's got an assignment
to do over the holidays,
313
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,920
sort of taking over
everything at the minute.
314
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,800
What's it on? That's the thing,
he can't make up his mind.
315
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,480
Do you think he's quite
a weak person, Ian?
316
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,200
We got rid of a lot of other stuff,
317
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,120
but we weren't sure whether
you'd want to keep any of this.
318
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,360
God, my old laptop.
319
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,000
I remember the year you got me this.
320
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,280
I remember going to Curry's
out at Renfrew to get it.
321
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,920
Oh, that is a nice store, that.
322
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,920
Me and Pat went there to get
Sophie her Gameboy.
323
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,760
That was the big present that year.
324
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,920
And did you get her one?
325
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:13,680
No, they were sold out so I
just got her a LadyShave instead.
326
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:17,560
And if I remember right, I think
Pat got some Hoover bags.
327
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,640
God, I can remember taking
the wrapping off it.
328
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,080
And then straight upstairs
and onto the porn, eh, Ian?
329
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,440
Ian, gay porn on Christmas Day.
330
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,240
We didn't want to just throw it out.
331
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,320
No, no, no, listen, he could have
some good stuff on it, Eric.
332
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,600
Look, I'll take this
but you can get rid of the rest.
333
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,880
Oh, are you sure?
334
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,680
That hat and scarf set
was a present as well,
335
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,640
and I don't think you've ever
worn them.
336
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:46,800
Ian! He was always a very ungrateful
wee boy, Michelle.
337
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,320
I remember I gave him a banana once
338
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,240
and he just threw it behind the hut.
339
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,520
You'll need to get your mum
something decent for that
340
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,520
this year, Ian, to make up for that.
341
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,120
Just get her a bottle of rose,
Ian. That's what we do,
342
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,360
and she always seems
genuinely quite happy.
343
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,360
Sorry, Mum, I'll take those as well.
344
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,160
Oh, well, if you're sure.
345
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,440
And if you don't like them,
maybe Gordon will.
346
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,520
Yeah, he's got no fashion
sense at all, Ian.
347
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,840
I still don't understand how he's
starting college at his age.
348
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,840
I mean, is he no too old?
349
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,480
He's a mature student.
350
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,280
Yeah, exactly,
he's a mature student.
351
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:28,600
HUMMING
352
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,200
Hello, how's it going?
353
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,120
Are we going just now or am
I coming in?
354
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,080
Oh, I'm coming in, aren't I? Righto.
355
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:44,200
I get the train to Stranraer,
ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast,
356
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,720
coach down to Galway.
357
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,600
Pfft, well, that's a
hoor of a trip, that.
358
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:52,280
Alan. It's a fair way, Alan,
but when it is family,
359
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,920
it is worth all the effort.
360
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,240
Quite right. And, you know,
you'll be like Santa
361
00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:00,600
coming down from the North Pole with
your big sack of Christmas presents.
362
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,880
I'll no need to buy them
all presents, will I?
363
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,320
Hi, Gordon. Oh, hiya, Gordon.
Hi, hi.
364
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,280
Gordon, what's that you've got
on your head?
365
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,400
Oh, it's my helmet.
I came on my scooter.
366
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,360
You came here by scooter?
Um, yeah.
367
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:19,480
It'll be one of those e-scooters.
Ooh!
368
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:20,640
I quite fancy one myself.
369
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,600
Is it an e-scooter
you've got, Gordon?
370
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,840
No, it's just a regular one.
371
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,600
Aw. Oh.
372
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,720
Gordon, come here a minute.
Come here.
373
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,120
That's you. It was, er,
sticking up a bit.
374
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,800
So how's your course going, Gordon?
375
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,400
Yeah, good, yeah.
376
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,120
What is it you're studying again?
377
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,600
Sociology and literature.
378
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,760
Oh, right, you not bothered
about getting a job after, are you?
379
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:51,960
Ian says you've got
an assignment to do?
380
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,240
Oh, yeah. I haven't made up my mind
what to do it on yet.
381
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,600
It's meant to be something
on cultural change,
382
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,120
but it's such a big subject.
383
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,560
Oh, God, yeah.
384
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,520
What about Emmerdale
going onto YouTube?
385
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,960
I don't think that's
the sort of thing Gordon's
386
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,680
studying on his course, Christine.
387
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,320
So it's literature you're doing,
is it?
388
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,320
I'll tell you a good book -
what's that one I read on holiday?
389
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:18,080
Oh, fuck that, you wouldn't put
that down. He was reading it in bed!
390
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,920
I know, I got right into it,
so I did.
391
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,480
I know what it was. It was
Duncan Bannatyne's autobiography.
392
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,800
Have you read that, Gordon?
393
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,800
Er, no. What about Maeve Binchy?
You read any of hers?
394
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,520
All set in Ireland.
395
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,960
They'll no be doing Maeve Binchy
books on a literature course.
396
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,440
Why not? There's fucking tonnes
of them.
397
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,880
Er, I see you've got your Christmas
tree up, Mrs Baird.
398
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,240
Well... It's awful early,
is it not, Gordon?
399
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,840
You've no got yours up, have you?
400
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,280
Well, no, but...
401
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,840
Yeah, it's also shit.
402
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,840
Look at the state of it!
403
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:53,240
Oh, it'll look great when you've got
the rest of the decorations up.
404
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,480
You're not saying this is it,
are you?
405
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,160
Well, we were having a clear out
406
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,920
and there was decorations there
that we'd had for years and...
407
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,680
They were a bit tatty.
408
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,400
Erm, if you throw out
everything tatty,
409
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,240
you're not going
to have anything left.
410
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,240
Aw, Beth, we've got absolutely
loads of Christmas decorations
411
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,800
if you want some. Haven't we, Alan?
412
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,720
Aye, she cannae go past them
in the shop without buying them.
413
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,320
It's the same with toilet rolls.
We've got hundreds of them.
414
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,560
Ah, no, that's very kind, Michelle.
415
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,560
Look, we've got
piles of old ones as well.
416
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,760
Aye. You could
always have mine, Beth,
417
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,760
since I'm going to be in Ireland.
418
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,560
Alan, away you go
and get some for Beth and Eric.
419
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,840
Michelle, no, we...
420
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,680
Aw, honestly, Eric, it's fine,
we've got way more
421
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,560
than we've got room to put up, so...
422
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,400
Come on, Eric,
it's fucking miserable in here.
423
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,720
Are we ready? Yes, come on.
424
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:53,200
Yay. Aw. Woo.
425
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,440
That's proper Christmassy now,
isn't it?
426
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,080
Well, not till we get a bottle open!
427
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,920
What about you, boys? Oh, shh!
I won't tell anyone
428
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,400
you're driving
your scooter drunk, Gordon.
429
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,880
SHE REVS
430
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,560
Yeah, I'll take one,
if that's OK with you, Michelle.
431
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:15,120
Aw, yeah, you guys go ahead.
I'll just stick to my water.
432
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:16,960
Did you not realise that being
pregnant was going
433
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,960
to be really boring, Michelle?
434
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,640
Is it OK if I have a lager?
435
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,480
Of course it is, Alan.
436
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,840
Are you just saying that now
and you'll give me a row later,
437
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,080
or do you really mean it?
438
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,480
I think I've got
a bottle of fizz in the fridge.
439
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,680
Woo!
440
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,240
You know when I think it
feels like Christmas is coming -
441
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,360
when you hear the Christmas
songs on the radio.
442
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,680
Yeah, I love Christmas songs.
443
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,960
Hey, Eric, have you got
that Christmas album?
444
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,320
Aye, I think I do.
445
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,520
Aye, as long as you
havenae thrown it out.
446
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,680
Yes, Eric, you big stupid donkey.
447
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,920
So when is it you're off
to Ireland, Christine?
448
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,040
Oh, not until the 21st, Michelle.
449
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,240
Oh, God, it's just so exciting.
450
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,080
You're going to have such
a brilliant time.
451
00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,520
We loved Dublin, didn't we?
452
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,080
Aye, we were saying earlier, Alan,
that the Guinness that you get
453
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,800
in the Guinness factory
isn't like anywhere else.
454
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,520
Aye, it's 20 fucking Euro.
455
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,480
Wonderful Christmastime
by Paul McCartney
456
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,280
Aw!
457
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,080
Hey! Oh!
458
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,000
Right, everyone want one?
459
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,040
Please.
460
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,320
Thank you.
461
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,600
Sorry, Michelle.
462
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,600
Oh, Beth, don't worry, I'm fine.
I like my water.
463
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:25,760
It's all right, Michelle.
464
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,920
You can get pissed again once
the baby's here.
465
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,520
Well, this is a bit more like it,
eh? Cheers, everybody.
466
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,960
Cheers! Cheers!
467
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:39,080
Here, Beth, could you go and get me
that wee glass that I like?
468
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,040
I don't like the way this one
feels in my hand.
469
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,080
Oh, for...
470
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,600
Thanks. Here, I hope you won't be
so fussy over in Ireland, Christine,
471
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,160
or they'll send you back.
472
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,040
Dad, stick it on to the next song.
473
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,640
I can't be bothered with this one,
it goes on for ages.
474
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,800
I Wish It Could Be Christmas
Everyday by Wizzard
475
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,920
Oh, no, no, no, Col. No, no, no,
I hate this one. Get it off.
476
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,200
She hates this.
477
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,680
Why do you not like it, Cathy?
478
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,120
I don't like the sound
of children singing, Gordon.
479
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,880
Merry Xmas Everybody
by Slade
480
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,840
Now this, this is a classic.
481
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,040
Oh, does this one
no do your head in?
482
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,160
What, do you not like it, Alan?
483
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,200
Och, it's all right but you hear it
everywhere you go, don't you?
484
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,040
It is a bit ubiquitous, yes.
485
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,120
I'll tell you one that you hear
everywhere - Band Aid.
486
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,920
Oh, it was amazing
what they did with that.
487
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,640
Yes. Mm-mm.
488
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,120
Although, there is a bit of
a backlash against it now.
489
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:36,600
Against Band Aid?
490
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,040
Is it because Bono's a wank?
Alan!
491
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,040
Well, he is but. It's just they
think it may be did more harm
492
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,440
than good, because it made people
feel they'd solved the problem
493
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,600
of global inequality when,
in actual fact,
494
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,240
it's worsened with the impact
of climate change.
495
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:54,160
Plus there's the whole white saviour
thing, which is quite toxic as well.
496
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:56,920
Oh...
497
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,800
I didn't realise it was
so controversial.
498
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,840
Well, it's an interesting debate.
I personally think that...
499
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,920
Fairytale Of New York
by The Pogues
500
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:06,960
This is the best one ever.
501
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,440
Oh, I do like this.
502
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,200
What is it? The Pogues.
503
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:11,960
Mm? Shane MacGowan.
504
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,560
Always pissed?
Oh, him, yes.
505
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,440
Here's a couple of names
for you, Michelle.
506
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,840
What? Well, Shane for a boy
or Kirsty for a girl.
507
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:24,080
Oh, a good Irish name,
that, Michelle - Shane.
508
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,600
Actually, I quite like those.
509
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,240
Oh, aye, wee Shane Edgar.
510
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,680
It sounds good, din't it?
Or Kirsty.
511
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,280
Aye, that's all right and all.
512
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,480
Here, Christine, this is
the one where the choir's singing
513
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,240
Galway Bay - that's where
you'll be at Christmas.
514
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,520
Oh, here, so it is.
515
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,720
Christine, it's just going
to feel really weird
516
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,360
you being away at
your cousin's for Christmas.
517
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,280
Beth?
518
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,560
Do you think it's going to be OK?
519
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,200
What do you mean?
Well, me going to Dearbhla's.
520
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:06,240
Because, well, it's just I know
that sometimes I can be
521
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,360
a wee bit demanding.
Oh, Christine...
522
00:24:09,360 --> 00:24:12,760
But what if they end up wishing
they'd never made contact with me
523
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,720
and cannae wait to see
the back of me?
524
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,160
You're going to have
a wonderful time.
525
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,400
Christmas is for families,
and they're your family.
526
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,480
They're going to be thrilled
you're there.
527
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,320
Do you think so? Yes.
528
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:32,400
Here, Beth, you know how I'm
getting the train to Stranraer
529
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,800
and then getting the ferry...
530
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:37,240
Yes - train to Stranraer,
ferry to Larne,
531
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,080
bus to Belfast and coach to Galway.
532
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,800
Are you OK to give me
a lift into the station?
533
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,040
Yes.
534
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,640
Are you OK there, Gordon?
Any problem with this song?
535
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,160
Well, it depends
which version it is. What?
536
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,960
Well, there's a word in the song
that's quite offensive, so...
537
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,680
What word? Well, I don't
really want to say it.
538
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,040
I think I know what it is.
539
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,800
What is it, Beth? Is it scumbag?
540
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,280
What is wrong with scumbag?
541
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,640
It rhymes with maggot...
542
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,200
It rhymes with maggot?
543
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,320
Maybe just forward it
on to the next one.
544
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,040
What rhymes with maggot?
545
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,120
I know, I know!
546
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,960
What is it?
It begins with an F, Christine.
547
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:17,360
Fuckwit?
548
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:18,880
Look, maybe just put it off, Dad.
549
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:21,920
What is it?
550
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:26,720
What's wrong with that?
551
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,600
It's quite offensive,
especially to gay people.
552
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,960
I thought it was "poofter" was
the one that yous didnae like.
553
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,520
Och, it's getting to the point
you cannae say anything
554
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,000
without offending someone.
555
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,320
Oh, here we go.
556
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:39,640
Well, it's ridiculous.
557
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,200
I mean, you cannae even have
a bit of homophobic swearing
558
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,760
in a Christmas song any more.
559
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,600
I think it's more we're
just becoming more aware
560
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,360
of how the things we say
impact on other people,
561
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:54,280
and a recognition that some terms
that were once in common usage
562
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,240
were, in fact, offensive, frankly.
563
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:58,960
We should probably make a move.
564
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,360
What other words
can we not say, Gordon?
565
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:02,920
Well, it's not up to me.
566
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,800
What about fanny?
567
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,720
If someone was to call you
a silly fanny,
568
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,080
would you be offended by that?
569
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,720
Cathy. Well, I wouldn't really be
offended, but, I mean,
570
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,960
if we're going to get into it,
I don't really think anyone
571
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,400
should be using a female
body part as an insult.
572
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,360
Does that mean that you
cannae say cu...? Christine!
573
00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:22,280
What about dick?
Can you still call someone a dick?
574
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:23,840
That's less bad.
575
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,560
Oh, thank God for that.
576
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,040
I say dick quite a lot, don't I?
577
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,160
Uh-huh. Aye, me
as well, Alan. Aye.
578
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,600
Why is dick not as bad, Gordon?
579
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,880
Well, it's that men
have, historically,
580
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,440
been the dominant gender so the...
581
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,120
What about wanker, Gordon?
582
00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:39,840
Because technically
that's either, isn't it?
583
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,720
Arsehole? You know,
we've all got one of those.
584
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,920
And where would the gays
be withoot them? Oh, for...
585
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,520
I really think we should head...
586
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,760
You know what I think, Gordon?
587
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,040
What?!
588
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,840
I think you should
do your assignment on all of this.
589
00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:00,680
Language and all that,
how it's changed.
590
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,600
You really know what
you're talking about.
591
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,160
Well, I don't think that's...
592
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:07,480
I can't really see how that would...
593
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,680
Actually, that's a really good idea.
594
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,600
Don't forget your hat and scarf.
595
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,480
Ah, yeah, see about that...
596
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,800
Do you mind
if we don't do presents this year?
597
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,120
Oh, right.
598
00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:30,440
Yeah, it's just we're a bit skint
this year with me being at college.
599
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,040
Is that why you're not coming
over on Christmas Day?
600
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:36,520
Kind of, yeah.
601
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,200
Do not worry about presents
but come over for dinner,
602
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,320
we'd love to have you.
603
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,400
Right, OK.
604
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,920
Thank you. Cheers, Mum.
605
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,440
Erm, no hugs for me, Gordon?
606
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:55,720
Oh!
607
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,240
That's a nice kiss for you as well.
608
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:04,680
Bye, Ian.
609
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:15,040
Oh, is that your scooter, Gordon?
610
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,480
Yeah. Ooh! I wonder
if Col would like one of those?
611
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,600
Oh, my God, I could get him
one for his Christmas.
612
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:25,200
Col! Col! Come and get a look
at Gordon's scooter!
613
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:26,560
What's happening?
614
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,160
I think Colin's going to have
a go on Gordon's scooter.
615
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,560
Oh, I'd quite like to see that.
616
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,880
I haven't been on one
of these for years.
617
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:38,280
Go on, Col.
618
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:39,840
HE GIGGLES
619
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,200
Whee!
620
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:42,520
Woo!
621
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,240
Oh!
622
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,320
CRASHING
Oh!
623
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,040
Oh, my fucking van!
624
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:59,000
still singing Galway Bay
49319
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