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1
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,000
What about that chicken
with the mushroom sauce and rice?
2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,200
Mm, not sure.
3
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:08,920
Yeah... Pasta?
4
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,960
We're always having pasta.
5
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,960
HE SIGHS
6
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,480
We could phone something in.
7
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:13,960
On a Tuesday?
8
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,680
Well, what do you want, then?
9
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:19,200
Oh, I don't know,
just something a bit different.
10
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,360
Egg and chips?
11
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,400
DOORBELL RINGS
12
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:26,800
Mrs Baird?
13
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,760
Yes?
14
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,960
You don't remember me, do you?
15
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,400
Um...
16
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,440
Darren. Darren McNaughton.
17
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,160
Ian's friend from school?
18
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:38,000
Oh, yes. Darren!
19
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,720
I'm just back for a few days and
I thought I'd try and catch him,
20
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,600
but I don't have his number
or anything.
21
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,360
Um...
22
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,360
Well, listen, why don't you come in,
23
00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,400
and I'll give him a ring?
See where he is.
24
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,680
I'm amazed you remembered
what house it was.
25
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,440
No, no, I spotted it no problem.
26
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,120
Really? It's ages
since you've been here.
27
00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,480
Oh, yeah, but all the others have
had stuff done to them
28
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,480
but yours is exactly the same.
29
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,560
Ach, I'm sorry to hear that.
30
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,720
Aye, she was a good age,
though, Mr Baird,
31
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,800
do you know what I mean?
Was it your mum's mum?
32
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,800
It was, aye.
That must have hit her hard.
33
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,680
Oh, it did.
She took a half day yesterday.
34
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,160
OK, see you shortly, bye.
35
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,480
He's going to pop over.
Oh, brilliant.
36
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,720
So how long are you up for, then?
37
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,840
Just till the weekend,
then I'm back down the road.
38
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,160
Ah, right. Well, I'm sorry it's
under such rotten circumstances.
39
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:44,360
Ah, it's fine.
40
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,240
But as my mum says, "Darren, she'll
be up there now with your papa,
41
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,880
"so we just need be thankful for
all the good times we've had
42
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,200
"and get her house on the market
before that boiler dies as well."
43
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,920
Right...
44
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,920
KNOCK ON DOOR
45
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:56,360
Excuse me a moment, Darren.
46
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,440
Ah, Christine.
47
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:01,680
That's them been.
48
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,000
Er, sorry?
49
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,880
Rentokil. Oh, right, OK. What did
they say?
50
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,680
Aye, it's mice, Beth.
51
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,160
Oh, dear.
So he's laid traps
52
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,400
and he's put my Frosties
into a Tupperware.
53
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,800
Oh, well, that's good.
54
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,760
It's the humane ones he's put down.
55
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,840
Right, right.
And if they don't work,
56
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,440
I'll just go back to smashing
them with that sandal.
57
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,840
Right. Are you sure
58
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,320
you've not had any signs
of them in here, Beth?
59
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,920
No, I don't think so.
60
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:29,120
Do you want me to come in
and have a quick look round?
61
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,640
Well...
It's no problem.
62
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:35,560
All I'll need's a magnifying
glass and a flat-soled shoe.
63
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,360
And cos my gran had worked
at the bus station for years, a few
of the drivers came as well.
64
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,080
Ah. My mum said to them,
65
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,600
"She's not seen hide nor hair
of you lot for years,
66
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,480
"and then six of you
turn up at once!"
67
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,120
Oh! Aye!
68
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,160
And the only reason they made it
at all was cos they got a taxi.
69
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,080
Ah...
70
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,120
Oh, hello. Who's this?
71
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,880
This is Darren,
Ian's friend from school.
72
00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,480
I'm actually just in checking
if she's had any droppings.
73
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,920
What?
Have you seen any?
74
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:05,680
They're like wee pieces
of black rice, Eric,
75
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,120
but they're not rice.
76
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,400
They're actually wee pieces of shit.
77
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,520
No... No, no, we haven't seen any.
78
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,840
Aye, but would you know
what you're looking for?
79
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,240
They're very small.
80
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,320
Well, I would hope so, if they're
coming out a mouse.
81
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,240
Sorry about this, Darren.
Christine's had Rentokil in.
82
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,440
Mm-hm. Oh, right. And where are they
coming in from?
83
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,600
The vent at my tumble dryer.
84
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,040
And the guy says that
he thinks they're using
85
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,120
the fluff residue as bedding.
86
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,000
Oh, they know what
they're doing, don't they?
87
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,240
They do.
88
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,400
See, I used to have hamsters,
so I've seen it all.
89
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,840
Oh... Right, well, it's good that
you've got the professionals in.
90
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,040
I'm sure they'll get on top of it.
So, um...
91
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,440
who'd like a cup of tea?
Oh, yes, please, Beth.
92
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,800
Right. Darren, cup of tea?
Or coffee?
93
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,920
I wouldn't say no to a cup of tea.
Of course. How do you take it?
94
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,880
Milk and two, please, Mrs Baird.
95
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,440
Here, Beth.
96
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:59,680
Check your lino
for any debris lying about.
97
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:03,680
That guy says they will
hoover up any leftover food.
98
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,760
Bit like this one here, Darren.
99
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,000
Aye...
100
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,560
SHE SIGHS
101
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,120
So you were at school with Ian,
were you?
102
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,480
Yeah, the academy, yeah.
103
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,920
Hmm.
Did you do better than him?
104
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,080
He had very poor results.
105
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,600
Excuse me, Ian did OK.
106
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,880
What did he get?
107
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,280
Well, he...
108
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,280
I remember he got a B in English.
109
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,320
Ach! It's no' like it used to be.
110
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:46,600
I mean, they practically
give them away nowadays.
111
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,640
Spell your name right
and you get pass marks.
112
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,680
Ach, you're talking rubbish,
isn't she?
113
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,000
I mean, what did you get?
114
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,360
A D.
115
00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,240
Oh, it was maths that
my daughter struggled with.
116
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:01,640
Oh, really?
117
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,720
Although she always had
the right change
118
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,600
when the ice cream van came round.
119
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,200
What school did she go to?
120
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,680
Queen Margaret's.
121
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,680
Oh, Queen Margaret's. That's all
right, that place, isn't it?
122
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,760
Yeah, she did quite well.
123
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:18,720
Certainly surprised a few of those
teachers she had.
124
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,000
And what does she do now?
125
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,520
She's a homemaker
in North Wales, Darren.
126
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,520
Oh, OK.
127
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,360
So where are you staying now?
128
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,880
Manchester.
Ah.
129
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,400
Oh, Manchester?
130
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,680
You're a Granada man now, eh?
131
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,400
SHE CHUCKLES
132
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,720
Do you remember
The Krypton Factor, Eric?
133
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,160
Oh, aye, aye.
134
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,920
That was Granada, Darren.
135
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,040
I... I don't think I've seen that.
136
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,640
Oh, it was a game show.
137
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,000
They used to put people
through challenges,
138
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,480
sort of tested them to their limits.
139
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,720
A bit like she does
when she comes in here.
140
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,480
I was very good at
the observation round, Darren.
141
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:58,960
Oh, OK.
142
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,360
Hmm. Mind you, that was when
I had the old specs.
143
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,680
So what brings you
back up here, then?
144
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,440
My gran's funeral.
145
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,160
Oh, no.
146
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,840
Oh, dear.
I know.
147
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:14,360
I am sorry for your loss, son.
148
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,960
Had she been fighting
poor health for quite a while
149
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,480
or was she taken quickly?
150
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,200
It was quite quick in the end.
151
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,920
That's what I hope for myself -
152
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,560
no lingering,
153
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,560
just a swift and painless exit.
154
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,680
You can do one now, if you want.
155
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,200
It's been a tough time,
but we've all sort of
156
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,120
pulled together
and we're getting there.
157
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,960
And you can take great comfort
in the fact
158
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:44,640
that she is now in
a far, far better place.
159
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,720
Where was the funeral?
St Luke's.
160
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,480
Oh, well, in saying that...
161
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,480
DOORBELL RINGS
162
00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,160
I'll get it.
163
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,040
Have you got rats, Beth?
164
00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,680
What? Um, no.
165
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,000
Well, we just saw the van. We
thought you had a wee problem.
166
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,440
Is it a nest? Have you got a rats'
nest in your house?
167
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,240
No, I don't, Cathy.
168
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,040
They were actually in
at Christine's.
169
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,680
Has she got them?
Oh, well, a couple of mice.
170
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,400
Oh, mice, is it?
What have they put down?
171
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,640
Um... These sort of bait boxes.
172
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:21,400
Oh, look, why don't you come in
and she'll explain it herself?
173
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,320
At Pat's funeral?
174
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,040
No, no. It wasn't.
175
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,320
It was.
It was not.
176
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,280
I'm telling you it was.
177
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,760
No, it wasn't.
178
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,480
It was 50-50
with the crusts cut off.
179
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:38,480
Torpedo rolls are no way to show
respect, Darren.
180
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,000
Hey...
181
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,200
Oh, hello.
182
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,840
Who's he?
183
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,640
Are you a rat-catcher?
184
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,480
I'm not, sorry, no.
I work in digital marketing.
185
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,120
SHE SCOFFS
186
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,720
This is Darren,
an old friend of Ian's.
187
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,600
He's up from Manchester.
188
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,040
Oh, Manchester?
189
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,400
Which bit do you live in?
190
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,720
Just near Canal Street.
Hmm.
191
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,320
Oh, yeah, I see.
192
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,720
You've got it
right on your doorstep.
193
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,840
Remember I had my photo taken there?
194
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,920
She made me stand in front of the C,
so it just said...
195
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,280
Right! I was just telling
Cathy and Colin
196
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,520
about your mice, Christine.
197
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,800
Oh, yes. I've had pest control
in earlier.
198
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,280
Aye, we saw the van.
199
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,480
We thought maybe Beth
was having Eric dealt with.
200
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,880
THEY LAUGH
201
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,800
They live next door, Darren.
He's a cheeky wee shite,
202
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,000
but he can be funny occasionally.
203
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,880
So where have these mice
come from, then?
204
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:35,840
Well, he says they're
field mice looking for food.
205
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,560
Poor wee souls.
206
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,880
Just trying to
put food on the table.
207
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,000
Well, not a table, but...
208
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,000
COLIN: So what have they done?
Have they put traps down?
209
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,520
Bait boxes.
210
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,880
That's what they do nowadays,
they're a bit kinder.
211
00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,720
Oh, they are, Beth, they are.
212
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,760
But I've put down some cubes
of bread
213
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,400
soaked in bleach as well.
214
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,560
Remember we had them when
we lived in Deanston Drive?
215
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,560
Oh, yes.
How did you get rid of them?
216
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:03,480
Oh, I just put down the old
snap traps.
217
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,320
Oh, see, you know where you are
wi' them, eh?
218
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,440
Yes. They're not very humane,
though, are they?
219
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,000
Oh, you're telling me!
220
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,800
I nearly lost
the tip of a finger in one.
221
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,880
So, Manchester, eh?
222
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,520
What made you want
to live there, Darren?
223
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,400
Don't know, really.
Lots going on, I suppose.
224
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,320
Lots of cafes,
bars, restaurants...
225
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,720
COUGHS: Cock!
226
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,720
SHE CLEARS THROAT
227
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,880
I'm sure there are lots
of good reasons
228
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,960
to live in Manchester, Cathy.
229
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,560
Aye, it's a big, bustling city,
isn't it?
230
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:34,960
It is, uh-huh.
231
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,960
Aye. So you'll be getting it
every night.
232
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,880
Oh, for God's sake, give the boy
a bloody break, will you?
233
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,720
I am so sorry, Darren,
234
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,840
you must wonder
what you've come into.
235
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,760
It's not always like this in here.
SHE CHUCKLES
236
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,240
DOORBELL RINGS
Oh, that'll be Ian. Excuse me.
237
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,520
Darren, what's this monkeypox?
238
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,720
Eh...
239
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,520
Hi. Hi. Oh, thank God you're here.
240
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,520
So you've got Darren McNaughton
in there?
241
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:07,840
Oh, yes, and he's through talking
to Christine and Cathy and Colin.
242
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,320
Oh, that's nice.
What are they doing here?
243
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,480
Christine's got mice.
What?
244
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:13,920
Just go through.
245
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,280
He did.
No!
246
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,720
I'm telling you.
247
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,600
He also killed
some heterosexual men.
248
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,320
Although, it was only the gay ones
that got their dinner made for them.
249
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,280
DOOR OPENS
250
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,280
Ohh...
251
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,800
Hello! Hello, you!
How are you doing?
252
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,960
I'm good, aye! Yeah.
253
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,880
Are you OK? Uh, good, yeah.
254
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,520
Oh, my God. I can't believe this.
255
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,280
I know. I'm sorry just to drop in,
256
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,720
I-I don't think I have
the right number for you.
257
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:42,960
No, it's maybe changed.
258
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,960
And you're not on Facebook or
anything, are you?
259
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,480
No. I can't be bothered
with social media.
260
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,680
Anyway, listen,
sorry, this is Gordon.
261
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:50,840
Hi, how are you doing?
262
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,480
Hi, I'm fine, thanks.
Pleased to meet you.
263
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,480
That's his boyfriend, Darren.
264
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,160
Honestly!
265
00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,480
Uh... OK.
266
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,920
So how come you're back?
267
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,200
My gran died, so it was
the funeral yesterday.
268
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,120
Oh, I'm so sorry.
269
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:12,720
That cemetery at St Luke's
is a fucking disgrace.
270
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,320
No disrespect, Darren.
271
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,160
Where is it you're living now?
272
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,720
Manchester. I was in London
for a couple of years
273
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,600
and then I stayed in Bristol
for six months,
274
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,480
but I just bought a flat
in Manchester.
275
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,000
Oh, right. Whereabouts?
Just off Whitworth Street.
276
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,240
Oh, yeah.
Oh, do you know Manchester?
277
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,680
Not really, no.
278
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:32,440
COLIN: She took my photo just round
from there, didn't you?
279
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:33,800
Aye, made me stand right...
280
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,000
Yes, thank you, Colin, we know.
281
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,000
ERIC: You used to go for the odd
weekend to Manchester, did you not?
282
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:43,040
Oh, aye, back in the day,
but I'm a homebird now.
283
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,440
I've literally just been
painting a ceiling, haven't I?
284
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,240
Yeah, it looks really nice.
285
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,840
We've splashed out on Crown.
286
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,440
CHRISTINE: Ooh.
287
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,440
So how long has it been? I can't
remember the last time I saw you.
288
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,680
Pfft. God knows. Years.
289
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,320
Aww, it's so nice
you got back in touch.
290
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,480
Aye, the two of you
were such great pals.
291
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:04,760
In fact, I remember, did you not
stay over once or twice?
292
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,720
Eh...
293
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,160
CATHY: Oh, did you, Darren?
294
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,680
I think he might have.
I can't remember.
295
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,440
Did the two of yous bunk up?
296
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,760
Honestly, I can't even remember
why you ended up staying.
297
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,120
It was just crashing over
at friends.
298
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,480
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just friends.
299
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,920
Yeah.
Close friends?
300
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,120
Cathy.
301
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,480
Oh, aye? Wee bit of the old
Brokeback Mountain?
302
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,920
COLIN CHUCKLES
IAN LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
303
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,520
You weren't...?
304
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,400
I mean, we were, like, 16, 17.
305
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,840
Oh, so you were
just experimenting?
306
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:42,680
Oh, Beth, experiments happening
up in your boxroom.
307
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,920
SHE MOUTHS
I think you can date a lot of this
308
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,760
back to the gay kiss
in EastEnders.
309
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,960
You know, it's nothing to be
embarrassed about.
310
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,560
I was the same at that age.
311
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,400
I'd have stuck it anywhere.
312
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,000
And then again,
not long after that,
313
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,320
you had the two women in Brookside.
314
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,720
Do remember that, Beth?
315
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,800
I do, yes.
Aye.
316
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:07,640
One of them buried a man under
the patio and then became a lesbian.
317
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,080
Or was it the other way round?
318
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,520
CATHY: So, Ian, come on,
spill the beans.
319
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,400
Was he your first?
Cathy!
320
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,320
Yes, Cathy, that'll do us.
321
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,120
Oh, come on, Beth! Don't say you
don't want to know.
322
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,800
Hmm? Ian, was that your first time
with a boy, was it?
323
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,920
Up in the boxroom?
324
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,560
Well, yeah.
325
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,960
And what about you, Darren?
326
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,280
I had a wee try at a hand job
on the French exchange,
327
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,960
but Ian was my first proper
full go at it.
328
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,200
Aww... Isn't that nice?
329
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,760
Mine was in someone's porch.
330
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,400
Oh.
331
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,520
Aye, well,
everybody had a first time.
332
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,280
Very good, there we go.
333
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,040
DARREN SLURPS
334
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,240
Where was yours, Beth?
335
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,240
GORDON GASPS
336
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,040
Eh...
337
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,760
I don't think that was
the first time. What?
338
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:04,080
When I stayed over, I don't
think that was the first time.
339
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,400
Remember the day we came back, and
your mum and dad had gone to Asda?
340
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:10,560
Ah...
341
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,840
Oh! And where did you do it
that day?
342
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,400
Come on. Was it in here?
343
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,360
Oh, my God, it was, Col!
344
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,040
Whereabouts?
Where did you do it?
345
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,640
SHE GASPS
COLIN SNICKERS
346
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,320
Cathy, that's enough.
You're embarrassing the boys.
347
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,160
Look, we were all young once,
let's just leave it there.
348
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:45,320
I've got a coupon for the
Rug Doctor if you want it, Beth.
349
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,240
TOILET FLUSHES
350
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,600
So...
Oh!
351
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,400
This is a nice surprise.
Huh?
352
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,880
You didn't mention
that he was your ex when you said we
were coming over.
353
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,760
He's not really my ex.
354
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,760
Well, you had sex with him.
Oh, my God!
355
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:10,240
You can't just say that anybody
you've had sex with is your ex.
356
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:14,680
Yes, you can. You can if you've only
had sex with about three people.
357
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,240
Four...
358
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,960
..if you count that thing
that happened at the urinal.
359
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,520
So did anybody at school
know that you had a wee thing?
360
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,080
No. Oh, God, no.
361
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,160
School was a nightmare.
362
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,040
Sunday nights were the worst.
363
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:36,400
I used to sit in the bath and think
of excuses for why I wouldn't have
to go in.
364
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,440
Hmm. Diarrhoea has never
let me down, Darren.
365
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,480
God, I know. It was terrible,
wasn't it?
366
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,800
Eh...you didn't have
any trouble at school, did you?
367
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,040
Er, yeah.
Did you?
368
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:53,720
Oh, aye. I mean, you didn't want to
be known as gay at our school.
369
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,320
Did you get teased about it?
370
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:59,320
Teased? It was bullying. Full-on
bullying every day.
371
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,160
What...? I mean,
what were they doing?
372
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:06,080
Oh, just constantly getting picked
on, calling you names.
373
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,880
It was a nightmare.
374
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,760
Poof. Bender.
375
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,800
Gay boy. Jobby-jabber.
376
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,400
CATHY: Jobby-jabber?
That's very bad.
377
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,400
Fairy. Bum chum.
378
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,280
Arse bandit.
Oh, that's terrible. Yeah.
379
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,200
So it is, Beth. So it is.
380
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,520
What about turd-burglar?
Did you ever get that?
381
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,760
I don't think we need to hear
any more of these.
382
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,720
It's just abuse and prejudice.
383
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:34,640
You see, I always thought that
shirt-lifter wisnae quite as bad,
384
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,800
cos, technically, you could
just be having a look.
385
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,320
I used to get picked on
at school too.
386
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:42,760
Oh, did you, Gordon?
387
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,720
Oh, yeah, yeah.
388
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,080
What did they call you?
389
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,720
Lanky Legs.
390
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,600
ERIC: Well, I'll tell you something,
see if I'd have known
391
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:52,800
all that was going on...
392
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,520
Oh, aye, what would you have
done about it?
393
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,440
I'd have gone up
to that bloody school!
394
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,200
Oh, they never listen
to the parents!
395
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,160
The amount of times I was up
at Sophie's school
396
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,720
complaining about
the poor range of hot desserts!
397
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,720
If you'd gone up to the school,
it would just have made it worse.
398
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,440
Anyway, I couldn't really talk
to you about stuff like that.
399
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,880
Eh? We would always have listened
to you
400
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,640
if you wanted to talk to us.
Yeah, you say that now.
401
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,000
Christ, up until I was in my 20s,
402
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,200
he was still asking me if I had
a girlfriend.
403
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,840
Eric!
404
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,040
You've never said any of this
to me either.
405
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,640
Well, I'm fine with it now.
406
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,280
Do you need a hug?
407
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,720
Eh, no, I don't need a hug.
408
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,720
COLIN: See, back then, Ian,
409
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,880
there weren't as many
of you around.
410
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,440
Yeah. Not in day-to-day life.
411
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,400
I mean, they were on the television.
412
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:46,840
Aye, on television.
413
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,160
They make for great entertainers.
414
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,960
But we didn't know
anybody personally.
415
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,080
Er, I think you did.
Who?
416
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:58,520
Remember David Walker that lived
in the house on the corner there?
417
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,680
Aye.
He was gay.
418
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:01,760
No!
419
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,360
IAN CHUCKLES
420
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,360
Aye.
421
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,400
I used to see him
in town regularly.
422
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,400
You're joking?!
Oh-ho-ho!
423
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,800
God, I took him for a game
of golf once.
424
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,960
I took my trousers off
in front of him.
425
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,000
Oh, well, he did well
to hold himself back, eh?
426
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,360
Can you believe that, Cathy?
427
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:20,040
Well, I mean, his wife
always did look quite fed up.
428
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,640
Oh, my God!
429
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,640
Well, you just never know.
430
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,600
I got fitted for a bra once
431
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:30,360
and the woman that did it cupped me
just a wee bit too long.
432
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,400
Listen, I'm really sorry if you
feel you couldn't come to us.
433
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,360
I feel awful.
434
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,840
I'm sorry. I feel like I've come in
and put the cat amongst the pigeons.
435
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,400
Well, you have, actually.
436
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,680
Look, no, it's really good
that you got back in touch.
437
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,360
It's so good to see you.
Next time you're here,
438
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,040
you'll need to come to our flat.
We're nearly finished doing it up.
439
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,320
It's looking good, isn't it?
440
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,760
Yeah, it's...OK.
441
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,520
Ceiling needs a second coat.
442
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,920
How long have you two been together?
443
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,320
Oh, God, about...
444
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,600
..three years?
Three years, two months.
445
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,920
Oh, my God. That's three years
longer than my longest relationship!
446
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,360
Aww, really?
447
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:11,160
CATHY: Ah, you see, that's more
like it.
448
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,920
That's a proper gay.
449
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,320
So what is it, Darren?
450
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,760
You never met the right person,
or do you just like
451
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,320
a constant stream of anonymous
sexual encounters?
452
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,320
It's...
Have you ever done groups?
453
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,600
Anyway, who'd like another
cup of tea?
454
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,120
CHRISTINE: Oh, yes, please, Beth.
Aye, on you go.
455
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,720
No, I'm OK, thank you.
Just a tiny wine, Beth.
456
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,160
Er, Darren?
457
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,560
No, thanks.
I think, eh, I'd better not.
458
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,760
CHRISTINE: It was the academy
you two were at, wasn't it?
459
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,000
The academy, aye.
460
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,960
And what did they offer
in the way of hot desserts?
461
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:54,080
Here, what did you make of
what Ian was saying?
462
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,800
What about?
463
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,800
About him at school
and feeling he wasn't able to tell
us what was happening.
464
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,560
Yeah, well...
465
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,760
..we really should
have known what was going on.
466
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,760
But I didn't even know
he was gay.
467
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,440
Oh, come on.
What, did you?
468
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,000
Well, yes. I think I did.
469
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,800
Well, why didn't you tell me?
470
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,240
Because I wasn't sure
what you'd say.
471
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,080
You never tried it
wi' a woman, Darren?
472
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,280
Eh, once.
Did you not like it, no?
473
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,760
No.
Maybe you didn't do it right.
474
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,240
No, I...I think I put it
in the right one.
475
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,760
I've not.
Hmm?
476
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,360
I've never done it with a woman.
477
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,840
Nah. It's always been boys for me.
478
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,400
Boys, boys, boys, boys...
479
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,640
CHRISTINE: Where does it
come from, homosexuality?
480
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,080
Well, I mean...
481
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,560
..I don't know,
it's just part of you.
482
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,640
COLIN: So, do you just know?
483
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,880
Oh, yeah.
Yep. 100%.
484
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,080
You remember the first time
we talked about it?
485
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,320
What a relief to know there was
someone the same as you.
486
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,200
I know. I know, I was the same.
487
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,960
And did you just start shagging
straight away, aye?
488
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,640
Here, Beth,
489
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,480
they're both saying that they
always knew they were that way.
490
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,280
Did you know Ian was?
491
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,720
Well, yes.
492
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,720
I had a fair idea.
493
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,360
COLIN: So did we.
Eh?
494
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:25,240
Oh, aye. Remember he went out
for Halloween as George Michael.
495
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,080
He just nailed it, no bother.
496
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,960
I remember that.
497
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,480
I gave him a Braeburn apple and
a fun-size Milky Way.
498
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,960
I actually think my father
might have been.
499
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,360
What?!
Your father?
500
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:44,680
Yes. Looking back,
I think he probably was.
501
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:49,760
You see, maybe it's something
that's passed down genetically,
502
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,600
like flat feet.
503
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,600
That might explain why my dad
was so weird when I came out.
504
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,880
Was he? What did
he do, Darren?
505
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,400
Did he...
Did he slap your face?
506
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,960
Well...
507
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,400
..no.
Oh.
508
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,440
ERIC: Your father, Beth?
You think so?
509
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,520
Yeah. And what makes you think that?
510
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,720
Well, he had a close friendship
with a guy who wasn't married,
511
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,280
and looking back, I think
there was maybe more to it.
512
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,600
Beth, you should tell
more people about this.
513
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,200
It makes you sound interesting.
514
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,280
Well, you had to keep it
under wraps back then.
515
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,560
I mean, it was illegal.
I mean, not like with you boys
516
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,760
with your piercings
and your own bit on the beach.
517
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,120
Pat saw two men going into
the disabled loo
518
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,240
in the old BHS once.
519
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,840
Not a wheelchair
or a stick between them.
520
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,200
Mind you, she said one of them was
kind of hobbling when he came out.
521
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,440
CATHY SNICKERS
522
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:46,960
COLIN: What about you, Gordon?
523
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,840
Any history of it
in your family?
524
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,520
No.
525
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,600
See, this pair,
they've got it in their blood.
526
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,960
Remember the first time
we went to a gay pub?
527
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,560
Oof. Delmonicas.
Is that still there?
528
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,080
No, not any more, no.
529
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,280
Yes, it is.
530
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,160
Actually, it is.
531
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,240
Remember Diane? Mad Diane.
She worked behind the bar.
532
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,640
Oh, my God,
she was off her head.
533
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,240
Remember the night she cracked open
the fruit machine to get coins out
534
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,240
cos she'd run out of change?
535
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,240
THEY LAUGH
536
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,720
I remember that. Oh, Tuesdays nights
were the best.
537
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,000
That was karaoke.
Oh, that was such a laugh.
538
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,600
# Do you believe
in life after love? #
539
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,360
God, that was a big one,
wasn't it?
540
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:27,440
Yeah, she's quite obvious
though, Cher, in't she?
541
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,800
Hmm? I always tried to go for
something a bit more original
542
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,680
at the place I used to go to
down in the gay quarter
543
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,720
on the outskirts of Harrogate.
544
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,840
Right. So what did you do, then?
545
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,720
Classic hip-hop.
546
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,560
Did you, Gordon?
547
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,120
Let's hear a bit.
548
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:46,560
Yeah, come on, Gordon,
let's hear you.
549
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,160
# I said a hip-hop,
550
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,600
# The hippie, the hippie
The hip, hip-hop-a
551
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,840
# You don't stop the rockin'
to the bang-bang boogie
552
00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,080
# Say up jump the boogie to the
rhythm of the boogie the beat. #
553
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,000
Thursday nights were good
as well.
554
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,160
We had some brilliant nights.
Oh, we did.
555
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,080
The best.
Honestly, just the best laugh.
556
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,160
CATHY: Do you know, it's so strange
557
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:21,360
to see Ian all happy
and smiling, isn't it, Col?
558
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,880
It's good that it's still going.
Oh, aye, it's still going,
559
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,640
but we don't really go out
in town now, do we?
560
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,800
Let's go now.
Eh?
561
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,040
Let's go. Let's go into town.
Darren's come all this way.
562
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:36,280
Let's all go out into a gay bar
and get totally fucking fucked.
563
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,840
CATHY: Yes, Gordon, come on!
Really?
564
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come on, let's do this.
565
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,400
We're up for it, aren't we, Col?
566
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,920
Well, aye...
567
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:48,040
..as long as you stand outside
the toilet in case I need to go.
568
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,560
Beth, do you want to come and get
shit-faced in a gay club?
569
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,360
No, Cathy.
570
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,000
Eric, you up for it?
571
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,720
Come on, Eric,
get your hot pants on.
572
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,160
No. Christine, what about you?
573
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:03,240
Well, I'd like to, but I'd better
go in and check my bait boxes.
574
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,800
Come on, let's do this!
575
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,960
Let's go and hit the booze
with other gay men!
576
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,480
I can't go out like this.
577
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,360
CATHY: Well, just go
and get changed, then.
578
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:13,080
I don't have any stuff with me.
579
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,840
You've still got
some tops upstairs.
580
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,960
I'll need to go
and get changed as well.
581
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,520
Darren, come with me and
help me decide what to wear.
582
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,160
I'm hopeless with clothes.
583
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,120
Well, just come
and give me attention. Come.
584
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:28,920
Where's this stuff, then?
585
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,920
Er, right, I'll come and show you.
586
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,600
This is great!
587
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,160
Can't wait to get into town
and get strutting my stuff!
588
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,800
Do... Do they have locks on
the toilet doors, Gordon?
589
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:44,000
I 'ope not,
cos I am ready for action!
590
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:48,320
I...I might just walk about
with my flies down all night.
591
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:52,040
Yeah, let the old cock hang out.
592
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,640
Yep, cocks, cocks, cocks!
593
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,960
I absolutely love them!
594
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,680
Are you all right, Gordon?
Hmm?
595
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,680
You seem a bit wound up.
596
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,080
Me? No, no, I'm ready to go.
597
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,440
You really want to go to this place?
598
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,440
Does sound quite lively, Eric.
599
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:17,600
Are you sure you're no' just
trying to prove a point, son?
600
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,440
What do you mean?
601
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:25,280
Well, cos this Darren boy's shown up
and they've been talking
602
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,400
about all the stuff
that they used to get up to,
603
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,680
you're wanting to do something
604
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,080
in case Ian thinks that your life's
a bit boring.
605
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,560
I mean, Gordon...
606
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,560
..you're painting ceilings.
607
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,040
You know something?
608
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,320
I wish I'd been more switched on
609
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,960
and a bit more supportive of Ian
when he was growing up.
610
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:54,960
So let me tell you something.
611
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,960
It's OK just to be the person
you are, Gordon.
612
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:02,520
To hell with what anybody
else says, just be yourself.
613
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,960
IAN: Right, how we doing?
614
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,160
You all set?
615
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,200
SHE INHALES DEEPLY
616
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,040
What's happening?
617
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,480
Do you know what, I think
I might just give it a miss.
618
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,080
Huh? But it was your idea.
619
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,400
Yeah, but you and Darren go.
620
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,000
I think I'll just go home.
621
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,520
Well, listen, I'm not bothered
about going either.
622
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,000
Are you not?
623
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,280
Nah. I'll just come home too.
624
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,320
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
625
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,880
OK, are you going to get a taxi,
626
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,840
or will I get your dad
to run you in?
627
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,400
Change of plan.
628
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:53,600
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
629
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:04,520
I mean, bait boxes are all right,
630
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,720
but see the old snap traps?
631
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,640
There's a... There's a satisfaction
in it,
632
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,680
from actually hearing
the impact of the metal
633
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:14,360
on the mouse.
634
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,640
Have you got the poppers?
635
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,000
Oh, aye, sorry.
636
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,520
# The other man's grass
is always greener
637
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:26,240
# The sun shines brighter
on the other side
638
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:30,120
# The other man's grass
is always greener
639
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:33,720
# Some are lucky, some are not
640
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:40,760
# But I'm so thankful
for what I've got
641
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:45,480
# Yes, the other man's grass
is always greener
642
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,840
# The sun shines brighter
on the other side. #
77454
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