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(Transcrito por TurboScribe.ai. Actualizar a Ilimitado para eliminar este mensaje.) Welcome to our fourth annual Halloween Haunt Adventure!
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A tradition started freshman year when we were
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in the dorms together.
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Let me introduce everyone.
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Brad is driving.
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Say hi, Brad.
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You look better with the mask on.
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The rabbit woman is Haley.
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Hi, everybody.
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And next to her is Jess.
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Hi.
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You want to talk about last year's adventure?
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No.
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About how you ran screaming from the haunt?
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Past numerous children who, after seeing you hysterical,
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believed they was about to get murdered?
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No.
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About the therapeutic kids that still receive it.
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Okay, we don't need to talk about this.
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I'm sure they're all doing fine now.
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Okay.
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Hey, you haven't introduced Peter yet.
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Nobody cares about Peter.
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Fine.
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Last and definitely least.
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Taking a break from his busy fraternity schedule
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to slum it with his old dorm mates
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is Peter.
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I always have time for the little people.
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We only see you once a year.
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Exactly.
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Once a year.
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I have time for little people.
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What about you, Kevin?
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Introduce yourself.
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I'm Kevin.
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I'll be your tour guide tonight, as you
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know.
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Wait, wasn't that the exit for the park?
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Yep.
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Some reason why you didn't take it?
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We're going somewhere different this year.
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Someplace that's actually supposed to be scary.
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No more amusement park bullshit.
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But I love the amusement park.
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That's our tradition.
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I'm starting a new tradition.
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So what's the new place?
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It's called Nightmare Farm or some shit like
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that.
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Oh, is the farming organic or non-GMO
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or what?
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Freaking hell.
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Did you just say farm to table?
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Wait, you can't just take us to a
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different place without asking.
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Sure I can.
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Okay, so where exactly is this new place
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then?
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A little bit past where you got that
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speeding ticket on the way to Vegas.
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Shit, all the way out there, man?
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We might as well just go to Vegas.
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I mean, I can't go to Vegas.
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I have class tomorrow.
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Relax.
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It's not in Vegas.
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It's on the way to Vegas.
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It's one of those little towns off the
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freeway.
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Man, those towns are scary enough without any
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of that Howie Bullshit already going on.
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You're such a real estate snob, Peter.
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You think anybody who didn't grow up by
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the beach is stupid and poor?
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Pretty much.
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You're either a coastal elite or you're not.
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Winners head to the coast to live with
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other winners.
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Because no one else can stand your smugness.
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I think country people are really nice.
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And I mean, I love country music.
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I think this is more meth country than
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Blake Shelton country.
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Uh, there's a difference?
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They wear different belt buckles over here.
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How'd you even hear about this place, bud?
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The guy in my gym, I bought...
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Stay where it's...
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Shut up.
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He says it's so scary they can't even
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advertise.
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A total word-of-mouth thing.
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Sounds a little tense.
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I mean, I have a midterm next week,
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so...
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My god, forget about school for one night,
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Jess.
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This is probably the last time we'll all
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be together before graduation.
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Damn, you're right.
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So, uh, you check it out online?
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No.
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You're taking us to a place you know
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nothing about?
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I know it's supposed to be scary.
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Scary as in it's haunted or scary because
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it's overrun with inbred country people?
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Uh, he called it a total immersive country
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terror experience.
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Oh, okay, so he'll Billy Sonomize you while
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eating fried foods?
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No, you're thinking of the county fair.
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In that case, let's just go to the
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county fair.
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Are you sure it's worth the drive?
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The dude promised me it would be the
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scariest thing I ever saw in my life,
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okay?
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He knows you look in the mirror every
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day, right?
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He wouldn't tell me about it unless it's
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legit.
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I trust him.
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This isn't one of those extreme haunts, is
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it?
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Because I heard those are brutal, okay?
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I heard that they scream at you and
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spit on people.
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I heard there's one in Waterboy.
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That doesn't sound like fun.
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That sounds horrible.
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Yeah, relax.
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It's just supposed to be scary.
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You didn't say anything else about any other
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ghouls.
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There better not be any spitting and spurting.
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Oh, uh, forget I said that.
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Too late.
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Seriously, I mean, this sounds a little extreme.
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Do you want to be surrounded by screaming
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eight-year-olds again or have some real
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fun?
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Uh, were the eight-year-olds screaming?
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Because I couldn't hear them over Jess.
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Any chance you don't freak out with your
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shit this year?
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Very slim.
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I mean, I'm just saying, you were seriously
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scared than the people working the haunt last
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year.
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You took your anxiety meds, right?
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Yes.
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Can't you just take the whole bottle and
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be super chill?
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That's not really how it works, bud.
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Can't you take a whole bottle of steroids
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and be super strong?
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I can try.
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Update here.
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We've been on a road for what feels
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like 12 hours.
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Morale, is that an all-time low?
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This talk is gonna get me.
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Yo, after this drive, this place better be
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awesome.
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If it's not awesome, you can walk home
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and protest.
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Do you even know where we are?
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Absolutely.
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The middle of nowhere.
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You guys can quit crying, here's our exit.
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I can't believe this is just an hour
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outside the city.
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It feels like a whole different world out
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here.
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Yeah, people who live in the middle of
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nowhere scare me.
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Uh, they should.
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They only live out here so they can
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do shady shit.
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Yeah, like running jacked up halloween haunts.
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And harvesting the organs of college kids stupid
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enough to go out and haunt.
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I just think it's a really long way
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to go for somewhere we know nothing about.
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What if Columbus would have had that attitude,
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Jess?
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Huh?
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We'd have no Thanksgiving or any of that
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shit.
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Good point, Brad.
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See, why can't you be more open-minded
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like Brad, Jess?
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Maybe he should be the one going to
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medical school.
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Four more years of school, hell no.
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You'd have to add another four years if
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you weren't graduating.
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You guys are just jealous I don't need
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school to make money.
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Oh yeah, that's right.
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You have all the winnings from your MMA
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career.
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Tell me, man, what are you going to
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do with all your tens of dollars?
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As soon as I graduate, I can start
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training full-time.
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Then I can get bigger fights and start
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making real money.
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Got it.
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Yeah, so maybe don't put all your eggs
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in that basket, Brad.
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Why not?
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I'm undefeated.
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You've had two fights.
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Yeah, two wins.
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If that one guy's wheelchair hadn't locked up,
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I'm not sure you would have beaten him.
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He wasn't in a wheelchair.
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He was like 75 years old.
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He had experience.
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Yeah, like 60 years of fighting experience.
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I think he invented the sport.
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I just fight isn't probably enough.
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I mean, I wish you wouldn't fight though,
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Brad.
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Why?
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Because you secretly love me.
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It would be devastating if anything happened to
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me.
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No, because you weren't given much of a
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brain to begin with, so the last thing
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you need to be doing is doing more
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damage to it.
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You can't have something as little as Brad's
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brain be damaged.
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You should talk.
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How many times have you fallen on your
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head riding your skateboard?
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I can't remember.
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Exactly.
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You've got brain damage too.
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You're equally stupid.
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Congratulations.
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Not all of us can go work for
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our dads, Peter.
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Some of us actually have to take chances.
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No, I'll take chances.
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It'll just be with other people's money.
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You guys should really try being born rich
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sometime.
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It's awesome.
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You know, now I remember why we only
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hang out with you once a year.
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Yeah, well at least when we do hang
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out, I don't spend the whole night on
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my phone.
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I'm working.
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I didn't realize narcissism was a business.
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No, it's called building a brand.
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Yeah, just because a bunch of horny losers
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follow you, that doesn't make you a brand.
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I have tens of thousands of followers who
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have happened to disagree with your statement.
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I mean, doesn't it creep you out though?
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Just like all those people watching what you're
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doing all the time.
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No, because I have nothing to hide.
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Oh, and a few of my followers want
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to know who my hot friend is.
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Oh, my name's Brad.
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No, not you, idiot.
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Jess, my followers want to know if you're
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single.
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Don't put my picture on there.
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Well, it's too late, so what should I
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tell them?
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Don't, I don't know, leave me alone.
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Are you single?
281
00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:11,370
Yeah, Jess, what's going on with your romantic
282
00:08:11,370 --> 00:08:11,710
life?
283
00:08:12,790 --> 00:08:14,130
I am not going out with one of
284
00:08:14,130 --> 00:08:14,730
your stalkers.
285
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:16,630
What's wrong with my followers?
286
00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:18,810
Most of them are very sweet.
287
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:20,570
Yeah, and the rest?
288
00:08:21,110 --> 00:08:22,430
I just want to go to the boneyard.
289
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,280
Uh, Kevin, do you know where you're going
290
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,020
to law school yet?
291
00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:30,120
Whoever will let me in.
292
00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:31,620
Well, how'd you do on the LSAT?
293
00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:33,500
Pretty good, I think.
294
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:35,840
Wait, what kind of law do you want
295
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:36,200
to practice?
296
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:37,340
Environmental.
297
00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:38,919
Ah, screw that, man.
298
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,020
Nobody's in corporate law.
299
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,960
No, you should do criminal law.
300
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,420
Brad will always need a good lawyer.
301
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:44,880
Suck it.
302
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,800
And for that matter, so will Karen.
303
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,440
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah.
304
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,620
People like me don't go to jail.
305
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:50,860
Ha, they should.
306
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:55,720
I lost my cell service.
307
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:57,620
It's official.
308
00:08:58,380 --> 00:09:00,180
We're no longer in civilized America.
309
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,520
How am I supposed to post updates?
310
00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:05,920
I think your fans would go an hour
311
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:06,620
without hearing from you.
312
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:07,640
You know what?
313
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:08,420
They cannot.
314
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:11,220
Because my fans like to experience my life
315
00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:12,820
with me as I live it.
316
00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:15,860
Plus, they'll love the scary stuff.
317
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:17,480
We're almost there.
318
00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:19,680
We should be right around here.
319
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:21,440
Look for a sign, guys.
320
00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:23,080
A sign from God?
321
00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:25,080
A sign in the ground, asshole.
322
00:09:27,180 --> 00:09:28,620
Is that it?
323
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:31,260
No, that's a sign for a different odd.
324
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:33,560
Yes, yes, that's it.
325
00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:45,000
Wow, Brad, this place looks first class.
326
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:45,960
Thanks for bringing us out here.
327
00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:47,560
It's supposed to be shitty.
328
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:48,760
That's part of the authenticity.
329
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,620
Well, it is authentically shitty.
330
00:09:50,660 --> 00:09:51,340
I'll give them that.
331
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:52,180
Is it even open?
332
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:53,840
I told you they were trying to keep
333
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,000
a low profile, okay?
334
00:09:58,520 --> 00:09:59,560
Look at this guy.
335
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:00,440
Can I go?
336
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:01,180
Oh, God.
337
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:03,660
These hillbillies know scary.
338
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,240
How do you know they're hillbillies?
339
00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:06,640
Who the hell else would live out here?
340
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:08,520
Maybe they're like the rogue who moved out
341
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,240
to the woods to live in quiet contemplation.
342
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:12,580
Yeah, I don't think that's what's happening out
343
00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:12,760
here.
344
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,000
Who is this guy?
345
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,100
Looks like we have to park and walk
346
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:16,980
to the haunt, I guess.
347
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,040
Oh, God.
348
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,020
Not while he's out there.
349
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:19,800
Let's go.
350
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:20,960
Just stay in the car.
351
00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:21,800
No, come on.
352
00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:23,940
Jesus.
353
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:24,840
Great.
354
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:32,940
I'm gonna take my jacket off.
355
00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:34,200
I hear it gets super hot in these
356
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:34,480
things.
357
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:35,960
Uh, let's do both.
358
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:37,780
It'll be just fine.
359
00:10:38,660 --> 00:10:40,660
Isn't this so much cooler than the other
360
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:41,760
stupid haunt we were at?
361
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,300
No, because I get to eat funnel cake
362
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:43,560
here.
363
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,080
And like, at least I get to do
364
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:45,720
that, you know?
365
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,180
Live a little.
366
00:10:47,420 --> 00:10:48,260
Good God.
367
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,200
Looks like we're gonna die.
368
00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:51,560
We're not gonna die.
369
00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,080
This place is getting creepier and creepier.
370
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,620
No, it just has like a fun new
371
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:55,080
vibe.
372
00:10:56,340 --> 00:10:58,180
Kind of with that whinge of creep.
373
00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:03,960
Oh, come on.
374
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,040
We already come this far.
375
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:05,900
Let's just go in.
376
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:06,840
Relax, Tristan.
377
00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:07,540
He's gonna be okay.
378
00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:11,500
Oh, don't do that to me.
379
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:12,820
I told you this was gonna be the
380
00:11:12,820 --> 00:11:13,340
scariest thing.
381
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:14,120
I hate you.
382
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:14,740
Oh, God.
383
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,240
It's okay.
384
00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:17,960
You're alright.
385
00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:20,200
Oh, man.
386
00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,220
What are you supposed to be?
387
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,340
Can you see the camera?
388
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:24,520
Uh, no.
389
00:11:24,620 --> 00:11:26,580
I'm too distracted by you looking like an
390
00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:27,680
idiot to see a camera.
391
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:28,660
Then I've succeeded.
392
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,440
Haunts never let you film inside.
393
00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:32,060
Thus, Operation Hidden Camera.
394
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:33,200
Ah.
395
00:11:34,180 --> 00:11:34,780
Alrighty, then.
396
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:35,080
Let's go.
397
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:36,180
Let's do it.
398
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,600
Another Halloween in the books, guys.
399
00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:40,380
We're gonna get time.
400
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:41,940
Yeah, it is.
401
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:44,120
Now that we're actually at a cool spot.
402
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,120
Oh, yeah.
403
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,000
Kev, let me get the camera.
404
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:46,960
Absolutely not.
405
00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:47,800
Just give me the camera.
406
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:48,120
No.
407
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:48,740
Come on, man.
408
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:49,400
Give me the camera.
409
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:50,120
I got it.
410
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:50,980
There it is.
411
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,440
Now I got it.
412
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,440
It's gonna be fun now.
413
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:54,740
It's Brad cam, baby.
414
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:55,020
Woo!
415
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:57,680
I guess it's probably quiet now.
416
00:11:58,220 --> 00:11:58,920
No, that's alright.
417
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,120
Jess, say something.
418
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:00,900
Come on.
419
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:02,180
Come on.
420
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,520
We're gonna look back on this.
421
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:04,500
It's gonna be great.
422
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:06,020
Come on.
423
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:06,300
Alright.
424
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:07,680
Haley's got something at least.
425
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:07,980
Oh, yeah.
426
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:08,780
Get me in the camera.
427
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:09,860
Get her.
428
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,000
There she is.
429
00:12:12,220 --> 00:12:13,400
I don't get it.
430
00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:14,080
We all don't.
431
00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:14,840
There we go.
432
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:15,880
Kevin, say something.
433
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:16,660
What do you got to say?
434
00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:18,360
You're the one making this stupid video.
435
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,440
Everyone tell me your favorite experience from last
436
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:22,960
year's haunt.
437
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:23,440
Gotcha.
438
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:25,400
Jess, we'll start with you.
439
00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:26,380
Why would we start with me?
440
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:27,960
Because it was very eventful for you.
441
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,100
She was very scared.
442
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:30,180
I mean, yeah.
443
00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:30,540
Right?
444
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:31,480
We don't need to talk about it.
445
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,560
Let's go with you.
446
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:33,020
Come on.
447
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:34,600
Keep her away from all kids.
448
00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:36,900
Yeah, when we left, okay?
449
00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:38,080
That was my favorite part.
450
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:39,540
No, I'll tell you.
451
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:40,300
Get out.
452
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:40,800
Get out.
453
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:41,500
The funnel cake.
454
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:42,280
The funnel cake.
455
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:42,940
Get out of here.
456
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,640
Haley, shh.
457
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,320
My favorite part was probably watching Peter almost
458
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:48,900
pee himself.
459
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:50,480
Was that mean?
460
00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:53,120
Because what I remember is there was some
461
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,960
moisture coming out of those eyelids right there.
462
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,240
I was not crying.
463
00:12:57,740 --> 00:12:59,020
What a strange way to say that.
464
00:12:59,020 --> 00:12:59,180
I was not crying.
465
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:00,880
That was weird.
466
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:06,780
My favorite part was none of it.
467
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:07,960
And that's why we're here this year.
468
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:09,700
We actually want to get scared because that
469
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:10,360
place sucked.
470
00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:11,580
I don't care if it's our tradition.
471
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:12,360
Yeah, because you're not scared of anything.
472
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,740
I want to have some fun, baby.
473
00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:15,660
I'm much better at this than you are,
474
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:15,940
Kevin.
475
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,200
I should have been the cameraman the whole
476
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:17,500
time.
477
00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:17,940
Come on, bro.
478
00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:19,140
Last year, too.
479
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:20,260
See, hold it like this.
480
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:20,960
All right, perfect.
481
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:23,020
Guys, I don't want to be responsible for
482
00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:24,640
this camera because if someone scares me and
483
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:25,900
I drop it, that is not going to
484
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:26,340
be on me.
485
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:26,940
You got this.
486
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:27,300
You got it.
487
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:27,800
I believe in you.
488
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,700
I don't believe in myself, so.
489
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:30,320
I believe in you.
490
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:30,820
Well, don't worry.
491
00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:31,260
It's Kevin.
492
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:31,980
We don't care.
493
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,120
Hey, come on now.
494
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,400
I care about Kevin's camera.
495
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:35,200
I don't want to.
496
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:35,860
Here, I'll take it.
497
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:44,240
Is that true?
498
00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:46,740
This is your year.
499
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:47,520
Look at that.
500
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,300
So cute.
501
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:51,740
That's young love right there.
502
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:56,420
Oh, they're just friends.
503
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:57,600
They're just friends.
504
00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,820
And what about you, Haley?
505
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,260
Going to hook up with anybody this year?
506
00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:04,000
Like last year and the year before that?
507
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:04,700
No.
508
00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:06,140
Very funny.
509
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:07,940
I don't know.
510
00:14:08,020 --> 00:14:09,620
Just tell me what you're scared of.
511
00:14:09,740 --> 00:14:10,000
Fears?
512
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,840
Tell me what you want from tonight.
513
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:13,820
Besides Jess.
514
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:14,520
We know you're scared of Jess.
515
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,960
Oh, nice one.
516
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,200
Yeah, I got you.
517
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:19,920
I give it to you.
518
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:20,860
Fears.
519
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:21,280
Let's go.
520
00:14:22,340 --> 00:14:22,740
Commitment.
521
00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:25,980
Okay, if I can answer the question.
522
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,140
So I'm scared of fish, bears, and I
523
00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:32,800
don't do sharks.
524
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:34,360
So anything in the water?
525
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:34,820
Fish.
526
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:35,140
No.
527
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:35,640
Fish?
528
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:36,480
Me?
529
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:37,060
Yeah.
530
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:38,680
My phone dying.
531
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:39,580
That's a big one.
532
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:40,360
That sucks.
533
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:42,040
That's really not a phone that happens.
534
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:43,760
Birds.
535
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,380
And my third fear.
536
00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:50,080
Oh, getting trapped somewhere and I can't get
537
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:50,420
out.
538
00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:51,400
Oh my god.
539
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:51,780
Here we go.
540
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,600
Like claustrophobia, but like to a new level.
541
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:54,780
All right, who's next?
542
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:55,560
Get over here, Brad.
543
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:56,580
This is a tough guy.
544
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:57,520
Get out of here, man.
545
00:14:57,540 --> 00:14:58,640
I'm not scared of anything.
546
00:14:58,780 --> 00:14:59,620
I told you that.
547
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:00,740
Bullshit.
548
00:15:00,820 --> 00:15:02,480
Get that out of my face.
549
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:03,820
It was only fun when I had it.
550
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:04,800
You guys suck at this.
551
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:05,900
Get someone.
552
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,520
I want to see what Jess is scared
553
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:07,660
of.
554
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:07,900
I'm not scared.
555
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:08,480
Come on, Jess.
556
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:09,280
Bring it in, Jess.
557
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:09,900
What you got, Jess?
558
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:10,520
What you got?
559
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:11,560
A lot of things.
560
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:13,640
A B?
561
00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:14,780
Are you afraid of getting a B?
562
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:17,860
That's number one.
563
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:18,320
A B plus?
564
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:18,940
Honestly.
565
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:23,160
Like honestly, I have like dreams of like
566
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,840
failing tests and that's probably my worst fear.
567
00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:28,540
But other than that, I mean like murderers,
568
00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:28,800
right?
569
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:30,300
Like who's not afraid of murderers?
570
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,340
And honestly, my biggest fear is failing.
571
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:37,520
That is pathetic.
572
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:38,600
Go to med school.
573
00:15:38,820 --> 00:15:39,320
Just leave.
574
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:39,900
Just go home.
575
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:43,600
I'm just really stressed right now.
576
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,700
Let's switch to more positive.
577
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:45,660
Let's switch to more positive.
578
00:15:45,780 --> 00:15:46,080
All right.
579
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:46,540
Boring.
580
00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:46,820
Let's go.
581
00:15:47,260 --> 00:15:48,240
Haley's going to suck too, but whatever.
582
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,280
Favorite part about Halloween?
583
00:15:49,420 --> 00:15:49,780
Halloween.
584
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:50,220
Go.
585
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,920
My favorite part about Halloween?
586
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:52,820
Oh, we already know.
587
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,240
Other than hooking up with her.
588
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:55,040
Stop.
589
00:15:55,820 --> 00:16:00,840
No, my favorite part probably is like you
590
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,020
never know who's under the mask.
591
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:03,940
It's like you get scared.
592
00:16:04,140 --> 00:16:05,340
But like as long as it's like a
593
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:05,840
good scare.
594
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:06,760
And the candy's really good.
595
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,000
There are some sexual undertones.
596
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,160
I think there are definitely.
597
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,000
I was going to eat candy and you
598
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,240
didn't let me finish my thought.
599
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,960
Doesn't surprise me at all.
600
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:15,900
I like the candy.
601
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:16,960
I like the costumes.
602
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:18,280
I get to pick a new one every
603
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:18,480
year.
604
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:19,220
It's amazing.
605
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:20,260
Okay.
606
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,480
The candy, I can't eat too much, but
607
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,000
it's good.
608
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:23,360
Yeah.
609
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:24,660
Describe your costume this year.
610
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,060
Because you look like a slutty dolphin trainer.
611
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:28,260
I'm not a slutty dolphin trainer.
612
00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:30,220
You know, it's not nice to be so
613
00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:31,060
accurate.
614
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,120
What are you this year?
615
00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:34,440
Well, this year I'm like kind of a
616
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:34,740
ninja.
617
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:35,580
Oh, like a.
618
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:37,940
I had my little ears, but I decided
619
00:16:37,940 --> 00:16:38,520
to leave them.
620
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:38,840
Okay.
621
00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:40,640
I felt as if that was too like
622
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,120
close to my costume last year.
623
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:44,400
Hey guys, I think it's the entrance over
624
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:44,660
here.
625
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:45,400
Oh, yeah.
626
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,020
Let's go check it out.
627
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:47,880
All right.
628
00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:48,940
Give me this thing back.
629
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:04,160
Hello, good sir.
630
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,020
We have five.
631
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:06,599
Where are you going?
632
00:17:07,579 --> 00:17:08,200
20 bucks.
633
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:09,880
Do you have student discounts?
634
00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:10,839
No, I got it.
635
00:17:10,859 --> 00:17:11,220
I got it.
636
00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:11,500
I got it.
637
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:11,800
Don't worry.
638
00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:12,380
Brad drove.
639
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,780
The rest of you are just poor and
640
00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:14,020
sad.
641
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:15,640
There you go, bro.
642
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:16,260
There you go.
643
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:16,579
20.
644
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:17,280
That should cover it.
645
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:18,359
Go.
646
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:19,079
Thanks, man.
647
00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:19,500
All right.
648
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:19,980
Yeah.
649
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:20,400
Nice.
650
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:22,380
But I mean, no thing.
651
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:23,140
Jess, do you want to get in?
652
00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:23,859
No.
653
00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:24,560
Come on.
654
00:17:24,619 --> 00:17:24,880
No.
655
00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:25,420
Come on, come on, come on.
656
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,180
Just one picture.
657
00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:26,960
Come on.
658
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:28,040
There you go.
659
00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:28,440
Your face.
660
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:28,960
That's a good.
661
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:31,740
Oh, God.
662
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:32,700
Girls can sell.
663
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:33,980
Let's go.
664
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,100
I know Jess made me.
665
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,680
No one would ever believe that.
666
00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:40,400
Oh, hey, guys.
667
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,700
Hey, are you guys going to the haunt?
668
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,580
I know Ted Bundy.
669
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:45,460
We're going to go get some coffee.
670
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:45,720
Good.
671
00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:46,280
Thank you for asking.
672
00:17:46,820 --> 00:17:47,540
That sounds fun.
673
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,440
Hey, can I come?
674
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,260
No, we don't know you, bro.
675
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,200
Have a hashtag blessed night.
676
00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:01,980
Can we go home?
677
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:04,840
We just got here.
678
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:06,380
How about I just wait in the car?
679
00:18:06,380 --> 00:18:08,100
You really want to stay out here by
680
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:08,520
yourself?
681
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,300
No, I want to go home.
682
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,160
Was it really necessary to bring us all
683
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,080
the way out here, bro?
684
00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:16,040
I mean, we could have just as easily
685
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:17,000
been murdered in the city.
686
00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:18,600
Or at the beach.
687
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:20,240
Beach is a nice place to murder.
688
00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:22,480
When was the last time you thought you
689
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,320
were in any real danger?
690
00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:24,620
In the car when you were driving.
691
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,540
I'm betting you've never been in real danger.
692
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,460
Our ancestors used to run freaking dinosaurs, man.
693
00:18:31,580 --> 00:18:33,300
And fight for their lives every damn day.
694
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,120
Uh, our ancestors died all by the age
695
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:37,620
of 15.
696
00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:38,380
You want to go back to that?
697
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,380
I don't want to go back to that.
698
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:40,080
You want to go back to that?
699
00:18:40,140 --> 00:18:40,880
I don't want to go back to that.
700
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,080
Okay, here it is.
701
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,980
But your body needs that fighter's polite response
702
00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:47,100
to produce the right chemicals.
703
00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:49,360
All the people who jump out of planes,
704
00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:51,100
surf huge waves, race cars.
705
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,020
Fight in cages.
706
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,540
They're all trying to manufacture that chemical reactant.
707
00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:58,560
Subconsciously, their brains know what their bodies need.
708
00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:00,200
That's what I want you guys to feel.
709
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,960
And if it takes going out to the
710
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,500
middle of nowhere to be chased around by
711
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,680
meth heads and masks, then that's what we'll
712
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:06,900
do.
713
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:08,520
And you'll thank me for it.
714
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:10,500
And why will we thank you?
715
00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:12,120
Is to truly be alive.
716
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,360
You have to risk death, Petey.
717
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:13,980
Come on.
718
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,600
No, not about that.
719
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:18,000
Uh, I'm just here to have some fun,
720
00:19:18,060 --> 00:19:18,200
bro.
721
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:19,460
Not risk death.
722
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,460
He wants you to go over there, Kevin.
723
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:23,500
Hell no.
724
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,120
Why don't you go over there, Brad?
725
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:26,740
Unless you're scared.
726
00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:28,260
I don't get scared, Jess.
727
00:19:28,260 --> 00:19:30,220
Oh, no.
728
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:31,500
I know at least a few things you're
729
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:31,920
scared of.
730
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:32,580
Name one.
731
00:19:32,820 --> 00:19:33,500
Uh, report cards.
732
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:34,260
Paternity test.
733
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,100
Recurring STDs.
734
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,300
That is not funny, bro.
735
00:19:36,460 --> 00:19:37,240
Not funny.
736
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,420
Just an allergic reaction.
737
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,680
I'm telling you, I've never been scared of
738
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:41,440
anything in my life.
739
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:43,620
Why do you come every year if you're
740
00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:44,340
never scared?
741
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,700
Watching you sissies traumatize yourselves.
742
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,960
Reminds me of what a badass I am.
743
00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:51,080
Psst, this guy again?
744
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:52,100
I'm scared.
745
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,400
You got what you wanted, Brad, okay?
746
00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:55,040
We connected with our ancestors.
747
00:19:55,140 --> 00:19:57,000
Now let's go home.
748
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,300
We paid for the whole haunt.
749
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,560
We're going to go through the whole haunt.
750
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:01,600
Hey, folks.
751
00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:04,420
We offer a free dig-your-own-grave
752
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:05,980
experience with the price of admission.
753
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,260
That sounds like fun, but maybe later.
754
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,060
What if I wanted to be cremated?
755
00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:16,680
Well then, how about I show you the
756
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,980
lighter and can of goddamn gasoline I'm fixing
757
00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:19,680
to use on you?
758
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:22,580
Bury his body.
759
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:25,060
Shit, dude.
760
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:27,100
You just got out and you scared me
761
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:27,590
a little bit.
762
00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:31,500
We are so going to get murdered.
763
00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:33,120
Don't even joke about that.
764
00:20:40,220 --> 00:20:43,640
You guys see that rabbit over there in
765
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:43,960
the dirt?
766
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:44,360
Where?
767
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:46,680
Yeah.
768
00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:48,420
Just keeps staring at us.
769
00:20:48,860 --> 00:20:49,300
That's weird.
770
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:52,380
Although he works at the haunt, he's not
771
00:20:52,380 --> 00:20:54,560
just some random wood-steeped hermit.
772
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,240
Yeah, those dudes are the worst.
773
00:20:57,900 --> 00:20:59,540
I mean, you come to the woods like
774
00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:02,280
a normal person looking for sex with lost
775
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:02,780
hikers.
776
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:05,540
Instead, you run into a bunch of weirdos.
777
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:06,920
I just want to go home.
778
00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:08,840
Relax, Jess.
779
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:09,980
It's all a part of the haunt.
780
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:11,000
They're just setting the mood.
781
00:21:11,340 --> 00:21:12,440
Well, they're doing a really good job of
782
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:12,740
it.
783
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,540
Oh, these are so creepy.
784
00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:18,980
These are so cool.
785
00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:23,220
Haley, really?
786
00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:24,260
All right.
787
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,160
Come on, you got me.
788
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,280
Aren't you glad I brought you here?
789
00:21:35,540 --> 00:21:37,460
You're eight-year-olds can handle this.
790
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:37,860
Are you kidding?
791
00:21:40,940 --> 00:21:41,480
Come here.
792
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:55,420
I want to see what you're scared of.
793
00:21:55,460 --> 00:21:56,380
Guys, who's good?
794
00:21:56,420 --> 00:21:57,120
How am I supposed to make it all
795
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:57,800
the way through this?
796
00:21:58,180 --> 00:21:59,700
Remember, Jess, they're just actors.
797
00:22:00,740 --> 00:22:02,840
I can't stop myself from reacting.
798
00:22:03,580 --> 00:22:04,860
Just don't act scared.
799
00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:07,560
They only attack people who act scared.
800
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:11,120
Well, they should go easiest on the ones
801
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:11,760
who are most scared.
802
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:14,060
Don't bother pretending, Jess.
803
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,200
They can smell your fear.
804
00:22:15,740 --> 00:22:16,880
People like you, why do they come to
805
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:17,500
work every day?
806
00:22:17,780 --> 00:22:19,000
You have nothing to fear, Jess.
807
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,220
You're the most dangerous person here.
808
00:22:20,620 --> 00:22:21,740
I would beg to differ.
809
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,820
Jess knows how to body work, Brad.
810
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:26,320
Even better than you.
811
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,080
I bet she knows more ways to kill
812
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,760
someone than everybody in here combined.
813
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:31,420
That is true.
814
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:34,660
But I mean, I would never, like, hurt
815
00:22:34,660 --> 00:22:35,000
anyone.
816
00:22:35,140 --> 00:22:36,040
I mean, do no harm.
817
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,000
That's the oath.
818
00:22:37,460 --> 00:22:38,600
So you haven't taken the oath yet?
819
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,380
Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can go
820
00:22:40,380 --> 00:22:41,160
around hurting people.
821
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:42,780
That's exactly what it means.
822
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:43,980
That's why there's an oath in the first
823
00:22:43,980 --> 00:22:44,320
place.
824
00:22:44,820 --> 00:22:46,480
You medical freaks can't be trusted otherwise.
825
00:22:47,140 --> 00:22:48,340
Come on, let's go.
826
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:49,200
All right.
827
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,100
Come on, come on.
828
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:52,520
Onward.
829
00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:55,980
I feel like someone's about to, like, come
830
00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:56,260
at us.
831
00:22:56,260 --> 00:22:57,780
No, you'll be fine, Jess.
832
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:58,560
You'll be fine.
833
00:23:10,260 --> 00:23:11,140
Stay away!
834
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,200
Boy, that was scary.
835
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:18,120
Go back to the woods, you freak.
836
00:23:21,740 --> 00:23:22,600
Have a blessed day.
837
00:23:22,660 --> 00:23:23,100
Guys!
838
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:24,380
Nice glasses, bro.
839
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,120
I'm already, I'm just like...
840
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:29,220
Jess!
841
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:29,860
Jess!
842
00:23:29,860 --> 00:23:30,300
You're fine.
843
00:23:30,740 --> 00:23:31,540
Relax, it's me, okay?
844
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,540
Look, look, it doesn't look that bad.
845
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:34,540
It shouldn't take long.
846
00:23:34,540 --> 00:23:34,740
It's nothing.
847
00:23:35,060 --> 00:23:35,840
It should not take long.
848
00:23:35,860 --> 00:23:37,780
I hear all the fun's downstairs.
849
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:39,180
It's underground?
850
00:23:39,580 --> 00:23:39,820
Yeah.
851
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,160
It's pretty big down there.
852
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,100
It's got a giant bunker or something.
853
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:44,180
You been here before?
854
00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:45,940
No, my first time.
855
00:23:46,460 --> 00:23:47,840
But I heard it's pretty intense.
856
00:23:48,140 --> 00:23:48,540
Really?
857
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:49,740
Yeah.
858
00:23:49,740 --> 00:23:50,760
I heard.
859
00:23:51,900 --> 00:23:52,980
I don't want to freak you out.
860
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,600
What did you hear?
861
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,080
Just tell them.
862
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,440
There's a reason they don't advertise.
863
00:23:59,820 --> 00:24:01,080
Supposedly, there was a haunt here a few
864
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:01,720
years back.
865
00:24:02,460 --> 00:24:03,140
Shit went down.
866
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:04,820
I don't know if it's the same people
867
00:24:04,820 --> 00:24:07,320
running it, but one of the workers went
868
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,780
on Method Actor, sort of believing he was
869
00:24:09,780 --> 00:24:10,260
his character.
870
00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:11,920
People got hurt.
871
00:24:12,580 --> 00:24:14,220
It could all be bullshit, though, since none
872
00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:15,280
of it ever made the news or anything
873
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:15,640
official.
874
00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:18,320
Okay, but they do, like, background checks, right?
875
00:24:18,780 --> 00:24:19,400
Out here?
876
00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:20,180
No chance.
877
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:21,740
If they did, they wouldn't have any workers.
878
00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:23,520
That's part of the appeal in a place
879
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:24,020
like this.
880
00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:26,320
The person under the mask is probably scarier
881
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:27,740
than the monster they're pretending to be.
882
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,400
Oh my god, do not tell me that.
883
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,060
I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.
884
00:24:31,740 --> 00:24:32,540
You ever wear a mask?
885
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:33,940
You become a different person.
886
00:24:34,660 --> 00:24:36,140
You feel like you could do whatever you
887
00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:36,440
want.
888
00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:37,880
You think about it.
889
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,800
Not only is the person working here wearing
890
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,800
a mask, they're also pretending to be a
891
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:42,600
monster or killer.
892
00:24:42,980 --> 00:24:44,260
And if you act like a monster long
893
00:24:44,260 --> 00:24:46,640
enough, eventually, you just might become one.
894
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,560
Okay, um, can we go home?
895
00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:50,080
Don't mind her.
896
00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:51,860
She gets scared at kids' Halloween carnivals.
897
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,740
If you guys, like, actually believe these stories,
898
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:55,840
then, like, why are you here?
899
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:57,480
We love the scary stuff.
900
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,360
And being scared has its benefits.
901
00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:01,160
That's what I've been telling him.
902
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,080
Like, what benefits, though?
903
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,100
It releases a lot of the same chemicals
904
00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:07,680
as sex.
905
00:25:08,660 --> 00:25:11,100
Adrenaline, endorphins, dopamine, all that good stuff.
906
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,240
You mix fear with sex.
907
00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:14,940
It's like a triple shot of euphoria.
908
00:25:15,460 --> 00:25:17,480
I'm liking this place more and more.
909
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,420
Go to a scary haunt, then we have
910
00:25:19,420 --> 00:25:20,160
the best...
911
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:20,580
How many?
912
00:25:21,820 --> 00:25:22,200
Two.
913
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:23,540
Enter.
914
00:25:24,460 --> 00:25:25,200
Looks like we're off.
915
00:25:25,620 --> 00:25:26,060
Good luck.
916
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:27,020
Bye, guys.
917
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:27,980
Yeah, have a good one.
918
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:32,880
Guys, please, can we just go home?
919
00:25:33,140 --> 00:25:34,760
I can understand why you're scared, Jess.
920
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,300
Lots of people die at these things every
921
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:36,500
year.
922
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:37,580
No, they don't.
923
00:25:38,020 --> 00:25:38,620
Sure they do.
924
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:39,460
I've seen statistics.
925
00:25:39,900 --> 00:25:40,940
Stop messing with her.
926
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:42,460
Look, I'm just trying to give Jess an
927
00:25:42,460 --> 00:25:44,480
honest representation of what goes on in these
928
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:44,720
houses.
929
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,480
Lots of unafforded deaths.
930
00:25:46,540 --> 00:25:47,340
She gets scared enough.
931
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:48,280
She doesn't need your lies.
932
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:49,380
Hey, I've seen statistics.
933
00:25:49,820 --> 00:25:52,000
You are more likely to die at one
934
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,180
of these haunted houses than a car accident.
935
00:25:53,660 --> 00:25:54,740
Okay, that's bullshit.
936
00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:57,420
Don't listen to anything he says.
937
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:58,140
Why don't you believe him?
938
00:25:58,160 --> 00:25:58,440
All right, fine.
939
00:25:58,540 --> 00:25:58,800
You know what?
940
00:25:58,880 --> 00:25:59,460
You're probably right.
941
00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:02,260
All right, this place is probably safe.
942
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:03,160
I'm just putting it out there.
943
00:26:03,540 --> 00:26:06,020
Open the door, rednecks.
944
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:07,440
Come on, make the scary.
945
00:26:08,060 --> 00:26:08,780
How many?
946
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:11,240
Twelve.
947
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:12,380
No, five.
948
00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:13,660
Enter.
949
00:26:13,940 --> 00:26:14,560
All right, let's go.
950
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:14,980
Here we go.
951
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:16,240
Come on.
952
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:17,040
Hi.
953
00:26:27,910 --> 00:26:28,990
You kids trick-or-treating?
954
00:26:29,430 --> 00:26:31,190
No, we want to go to the basement.
955
00:26:34,430 --> 00:26:36,890
It's not too scary, is it?
956
00:26:37,570 --> 00:26:38,850
The only way to find out is to
957
00:26:38,850 --> 00:26:39,550
go through that door.
958
00:26:40,310 --> 00:26:41,510
We're just about ready to close up.
959
00:26:42,210 --> 00:26:43,390
You'll be the last one for the night.
960
00:26:43,830 --> 00:26:45,310
Yeah, well, we didn't know you were still
961
00:26:45,310 --> 00:26:45,530
open.
962
00:26:45,530 --> 00:26:46,990
It's kind of quiet out there in the
963
00:26:46,990 --> 00:26:47,510
parking lot.
964
00:26:50,870 --> 00:26:53,350
Due to the extreme nature of our haunted
965
00:26:53,350 --> 00:26:55,790
experience, we like to keep it low profile.
966
00:26:56,530 --> 00:26:59,790
Less houses, safety inspectors, costly permits, and all
967
00:26:59,790 --> 00:27:00,850
that government bullshit.
968
00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:04,650
Where are you kids visiting from?
969
00:27:05,270 --> 00:27:06,990
L.A.? We go to school out there.
970
00:27:08,230 --> 00:27:09,010
College students.
971
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:11,270
You all must be really smart.
972
00:27:11,850 --> 00:27:12,250
Cheers.
973
00:27:12,490 --> 00:27:14,190
The rest of us, not so much.
974
00:27:15,630 --> 00:27:16,910
You came all this way just to visit
975
00:27:16,910 --> 00:27:17,190
us?
976
00:27:17,850 --> 00:27:19,330
We're just in the neighborhood.
977
00:27:20,250 --> 00:27:21,910
My parents have a vacation home a few
978
00:27:21,910 --> 00:27:22,510
blocks from here.
979
00:27:24,630 --> 00:27:26,450
So how long does it take to get
980
00:27:26,450 --> 00:27:27,650
through it?
981
00:27:29,110 --> 00:27:30,630
That depends on if you can make it
982
00:27:30,630 --> 00:27:31,330
through the whole thing.
983
00:27:31,850 --> 00:27:32,770
Most people can't.
984
00:27:33,690 --> 00:27:35,490
So if we do make it all the
985
00:27:35,490 --> 00:27:37,030
way through, do we get something?
986
00:27:37,910 --> 00:27:39,010
You get to go home.
987
00:27:40,110 --> 00:27:41,810
And if we don't make it all the
988
00:27:41,810 --> 00:27:42,090
way through?
989
00:27:43,510 --> 00:27:44,710
You don't want to find out.
990
00:27:49,730 --> 00:27:51,690
Um, so do you have Wi-Fi?
991
00:27:52,890 --> 00:27:53,290
What?
992
00:27:53,790 --> 00:27:54,210
Wi-Fi.
993
00:27:54,670 --> 00:27:56,470
Like, for a phone.
994
00:27:57,210 --> 00:27:57,810
No phones.
995
00:27:58,490 --> 00:27:59,890
Like, the internet?
996
00:28:00,610 --> 00:28:03,410
So I can upload photos from my phone?
997
00:28:04,030 --> 00:28:04,850
No pictures.
998
00:28:05,890 --> 00:28:06,730
Why not?
999
00:28:08,170 --> 00:28:09,810
I just want something to remember.
1000
00:28:10,850 --> 00:28:12,750
You're not going to want to remember tonight.
1001
00:28:13,770 --> 00:28:15,870
Uh, so I've heard places like this usually
1002
00:28:15,870 --> 00:28:17,110
have a safe word.
1003
00:28:17,710 --> 00:28:19,130
You know, like things get too scary.
1004
00:28:20,010 --> 00:28:21,750
I don't think you're going to need that.
1005
00:28:22,210 --> 00:28:23,510
Big strong guy like you.
1006
00:28:24,110 --> 00:28:25,290
That's not for me.
1007
00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:25,790
Kidding.
1008
00:28:26,050 --> 00:28:26,530
These guys.
1009
00:28:27,070 --> 00:28:29,230
Uh, is this your first time away from
1010
00:28:29,230 --> 00:28:29,410
home?
1011
00:28:30,390 --> 00:28:32,070
Can you just tell us already?
1012
00:28:33,510 --> 00:28:34,030
Sure.
1013
00:28:34,770 --> 00:28:36,630
Now, pay close attention.
1014
00:28:37,690 --> 00:28:40,250
Since you kids are so delicate, you're probably
1015
00:28:40,250 --> 00:28:40,950
going to need this.
1016
00:28:41,790 --> 00:28:44,950
If things get too scary, you just repeat
1017
00:28:44,950 --> 00:28:47,270
this phrase and everyone will stop being scared.
1018
00:28:47,270 --> 00:28:47,410
You ready?
1019
00:28:49,970 --> 00:28:50,490
Yep, we're ready.
1020
00:28:51,530 --> 00:28:54,730
Just say, I'm a sissy and I want
1021
00:28:54,730 --> 00:28:55,310
to go home.
1022
00:28:56,610 --> 00:28:57,010
Really?
1023
00:28:58,650 --> 00:28:59,750
That makes me feel safer.
1024
00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:01,510
Thanks for your professionalism.
1025
00:29:02,710 --> 00:29:03,490
It's quite all right.
1026
00:29:04,030 --> 00:29:05,370
Okay, can we go in now?
1027
00:29:06,830 --> 00:29:08,170
There's a couple more things you need to
1028
00:29:08,170 --> 00:29:08,990
know before you go in.
1029
00:29:10,770 --> 00:29:11,170
What?
1030
00:29:12,930 --> 00:29:14,570
This ain't a motel, if you get what
1031
00:29:14,570 --> 00:29:14,890
I'm saying.
1032
00:29:15,550 --> 00:29:16,870
What, no ice machine?
1033
00:29:17,270 --> 00:29:17,730
No.
1034
00:29:18,150 --> 00:29:19,190
No funny business.
1035
00:29:19,790 --> 00:29:20,490
Keep your clothes on.
1036
00:29:20,730 --> 00:29:21,690
Oh, sorry, Jess.
1037
00:29:21,870 --> 00:29:22,450
You heard the man.
1038
00:29:24,610 --> 00:29:26,970
And the second thing is the most important
1039
00:29:26,970 --> 00:29:28,030
thing I'm going to tell you.
1040
00:29:29,190 --> 00:29:32,850
Do not, under any circumstances, touch the actors
1041
00:29:32,850 --> 00:29:33,650
inside the haunt.
1042
00:29:34,490 --> 00:29:35,750
I cannot stress this enough.
1043
00:29:36,290 --> 00:29:37,430
Do not touch them.
1044
00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:41,590
So, wait, we can or can't touch the
1045
00:29:41,590 --> 00:29:41,810
actors?
1046
00:29:42,150 --> 00:29:42,630
Brad!
1047
00:29:42,930 --> 00:29:44,210
I know, I know.
1048
00:29:44,250 --> 00:29:44,750
I'm kidding.
1049
00:29:45,130 --> 00:29:45,870
Okay, fine.
1050
00:29:45,870 --> 00:29:47,110
Don't touch the actors.
1051
00:29:47,310 --> 00:29:48,070
You know, you got it.
1052
00:29:48,590 --> 00:29:50,630
Can you just give us like a hint
1053
00:29:50,630 --> 00:29:51,570
about what's inside?
1054
00:29:54,410 --> 00:29:55,450
What's inside?
1055
00:29:57,410 --> 00:29:58,790
It's your worst fears.
63244
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