Original subtitles

Alright. What I wanna know is, who's throwing this barbecue?

And that you got to find out if it's in Malibu

or just near Malibu, because if it's not...

Oh, I gotta go. I gotta go. Gotta go. Hey, thank you.

Thank you very much, man. Hey, how you doing?

I'm Rocky Carroll welcome to tonight's episode of "Roc" live.

Listen, I know there was a big snowstorm back East

and, uh, I hope everybody is bundled up and warm.

Especially, this director back in New York

who didn't cast me in this show over a year and half ago

which forced me to pack up everything

and move out here to California.

I didn't wanna move, y'all.

But, you know, when you're unemployed

and desperate, you'll move anywhere.

Even... sunny California.

So, uh, and this is a message from Carl Gordon

to his friend Orville, uh, "Get well soon, please."

And to my director friend in New York...

...here's to you, stay warm and enjoy the show...

...coming from California, you know the place

swimming pools, movie stars.

♪ There's a man ♪

♪ With no future ♪

♪ So it seems ♪

♪ Can't live out his dreams ♪

♪ Now he's trapped into thinking ♪

♪ He won't succeed ♪

♪ And he can believe ♪

♪ Live your life today ♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Not for tomorrow ♪ Not for tomorrow ♪

♪ Oh oh oh ohhh ♪

♪ Live your life today ♪

- Oh. Oh. Next round's on you. - Okay, pretty boy.

You know what?

Girl, we have got to get together after work more often.

Well, we would but we always have to reschedule

because Cynthia keeps cancelling on us.

Yeah, you're always snuggled up with that new boyfriend Dennis.

Mm-mm. Tell us more about him, girlfriend.

I see you checking off

all the lingerie in the Victoria's Secret catalogue.

Well, what can I say? He's just so romantic.

Would you believe he kidnapped me from work...

...took me to dinner on a boat

where he hid these in an oyster shell.

Oh, they're pretty.

- Oh, that's nice! - Yes.

Girl, here's spontaneous.

One night last summer

Andrew took me on a moonlit walk in the park.

We get to the big fountain and suddenly he grabs my hand...

...and we jump into the water.

Matty, everybody jumps

into that fountain in the summertime.

Uh, not to skinny dip.

- Oh, girl! No clothes? - Not a stitch.

Ooh, you bad.

Remember last week when Roger and I

got stuck in the elevator?

Well, it wasn't stuck, Roger pushed the stop button.

And then he pushed all of my buttons.

And the red emergency button, huh?

Whoo!

Oh, well, okay. Romantic and spontaneous, huh?

Oh, I know.

Roc bought me a box

of beautiful chocolate candy for Valentine Day.

Well, she did say bought.

That's pretty spontaneous for Roc.

Honey, for Roc, that's deviant behavior.

Oh! Now, wait a minute.

Roc is romantic.

It's just that, you know, between work

and well we're both landlords now and...

- We're real busy, you know... - Eleanor, we're just kidding.

But every once in a while you've got to clock out

and take a nice evening walk together.

Watch the stars come out and...

...be romantic.

Roc is romantic.

In a sit in front of the TV and let's watch

the ball game kinda way.

Well, you guys just have a mature relationship.

Girl, did I tell you that Dennis

had flowers delivered to me on the bus?

- On the bus? Oh, no! - Girl, he is fine.

- He loves me. - Flowers?

On the bus! That's nice.

- Hey, Joey. - Hey, pop.

What are you doing?

I got this song dancin' around in my head

I'm trying to hammer it out.

Now you know, sometimes you can't tell

if the melody works until you hear it with the lyrics.

Mm, alright, well, check this out. It goes like this.

♪ I got a hole in my heart ♪

♪ And I can't stand it without you gal ♪

♪ Well well ♪

- The melody don't work. - Come on, pop. I like the--

Now, son, not that I'm, uh...

...complaining about your musical ability...

- 'Uh-huh.' - But I may be able to help you.

Uh, remember that time you and I wrote that song together?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. Uh...

Uh, well, I'm not doing good by myself

so come on, let's give it a shot.

- Now, I'm gonna help you. - Okay.

- But... if we win a Grammy... - Mm-hmm.

I'm the one going over u-up on that stage to hug Natalie Cole.

Alright, but if Halle Berry's up there

we're gonna fight about that.

- Well... - Alright.

- 'I'mma take this chord here.' - Hey, guys.

- 'Oh, hey, Eleanor.' - Where's Roc?

Uh, he walked down to the store to rent some videos.

Oh, well, we're not watchin' any movies tonight.

Tonight, my husband and I...

...gonna be dancing cheek to cheek.

Uh, excuse me, sis, I've seen him dance.

- It's more like foot on foot. - Oh, stop.

Come on, son. Let's go rehearse for the, uh, Soul Train Awards.

Yeah, that's right.

Eleanor... you better have a damn good explanation.

- For what? - For wrecking the car!

What?

Roc, the car is fine.

Look again, Eleanor, it's missing a hubcap.

Roc, it's just an old hubcap.

Now, come on over here...

...and sit next to me.

I got us a bottle of wine.

Why don't you go find something to pop the cork with.

Yeah, why don't I run it up on the curb

you know, and pop it off like you did to that hubcap.

Roc, can we just forget about the hubcap?

Hmm. Well, obviously, some of us can.

Bet I could make you forget about that hubcap.

Come here.

- Isn't that better? - Oh.

Yeah, that's better.

Yeah!

You know what, baby, I was thinking one of these nights

we should take a long romantic drive.

Just look at the stars.

- Look at the stars? - Yeah.

Eleanor, you have to keep your eyes on the road

that's probably how you lost that hubcap!

Roc, you know, there as a time when I could get your mind

off of something as meaningless as a hubcap.

Yeah, that was before we had a car.

Can we just get off the damn car?

Now, I'm talking about us spending some time

together and being romantic.

W-w-well, we're already being romantic.

You know what I mean? Why do you think my ear's wet?

- Never mind. - Oh.

- Never mind! - Oh...

You know I have a funny feeling.

Eleanor's friends are filling her head

with all sorts of romance garbage.

You know, I knew this girls' night out thing was a bad idea.

Oh, come on, Roc. Try and be a little romantic for a change.

I'm romantic! Huh!

I bought her candy for Valentine's.

Oh, Joey's right, son.

Now, that's something I learned very early on with your mother.

And to this day, I'm glad that I bought her flowers

and played her favorite song

and surprised her with midnight train rides to New York.

Oh, it meant a lot to her.

Yeah, well, I just hope this is a phase Eleanor's going through.

Come on, Roc, why don't you, you know, for once

be spontaneous, do something crazy.

I'm spontaneous!

Why last week, just like that...

...I took her to Charlaine's for all-you-could-eat hot wings.

Roc, romance is taking your woman

to a place that doesn't hand out moist towelettes.

Roc, I got an idea.

I got reservations for two for

Cafe La Fleur for next Friday night, alright?

Now this place is so romantic they're building

a wedding chapel next-door to it.

Look, it took me a month to get this reservation.

I'mma give it to you. Go ahead, take her, she'll love it.

Alright, I see right.

I take her out next Friday

I'd give her whatever she wants

and then get things back to normal.

Ha-ha! Hey, Joey, thanks a lot.

I'm gonna go up and tell her right now.

'Alright.'

And then...

...I'm gonna retrace her route

and see if I can find that hubcap.

Don't go away.

There's more "Roc" live after these messages.

Whoa!

Hey, hey. Roc, man, you look great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's Eleanor?

Oh, come on, Roc. You've got to get in the mood.

I'm in the mood for takin' her out.

Buying and giving her anything she wants.

So I can get back home and enjoy myself.

Well, she's in the kitchen putting the flowers

that you sent in some water.

Flowers? What? Now, wait a minute, Joey.

Now I appreciate your help with the reservations

but I don't need you to show me how to be roman-tic.

Roc, I didn't send any flowers.

- Well then, who did? - Oh, Roc.

The flowers are just wonderful.

And I just love the card.

Oh. Yeah, me too. Uh...

What did I say?

Oh, come on, Roc.

Oh, yeah, that's pretty good.

I didn't know you could be so poetic.

Well, you know me, baby.

Heh! I put a lot into it.

Did you guys know that my husband

is taking me to Cafe La Fleur tonight?

Really?

Boy, I heard it's hard to get in there.

Well, uh... Well, come on, sweetheart.

Let's-let's-let's go, baby. You know what I mean?

I mean, you know, the sooner we get there

the sooner we can get the evening started.

Don't wait up.

No telling what time my man bringing me home tonight.

'Okay.'

So, uh, pop, you bought those flowers, didn't you?

Well, I knew Roc wouldn't.

Shoot! We're still waiting for him to buy real furniture.

Yeah.

'I'm just saying, Eleanor.'

There's no reason to give a valet 2.50

when street parking is free after 6:00.

Fine, but you didn't have to burn rubber

when the guy tried to open your door.

- Your table. - Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

A whole dollar.

A whole dollar of laundry detergent.

Oh, Roc... this is so nice.

Yeah, whatever you want, baby.

Good evening. I'm Anthony and I'll be serving you.

Uh, would you care for something from the bar?

- Yeah, two waters. - Oh, honey, baby.

Wouldn't you much rather have some champagne?

Champagne is very romantic.

Yeah, right. Whatever she wants. We'll have champagne.

Uh, very good. Very good. Now, may I suggest Moet Chandon?

Okay, what the hell. Two glasses.

Uh-uh-uh, I'm sorry, sir. That only comes by the bottle.

Well, then, could you check to see if anyone

wants to split it with us?

Oh, I'm just kidding, sweetheart.

Yeah, we'll have the whole bottle.

- Thank you, Roc. - Oh, well...

You know, this is your night, baby

and, Mrs. Emerson, you're looking especially beau-ti-ful.

Oh, thank you, Roc, and I just love this place.

Me too.

Okay, now, our special tonight is shrimp scampi

sauteedin a very fine Sauvignon.

Ooh, that sounds good. I'll have that.

Yeah, I'll have that too, and, uh

don't skimp on the free bread.

- Roc! - Hmm?

- Don't you wanna toast first? - Yeah, here's to you, baby.

No, no, no. To us!

Oh, th-that's good too. Yeah, okay.

Ah, after all, this is your evening.

- It's our evening. - Yeah, that's what I meant.

You keep saying it's my evening.

Whatever I want.

Oh, that's because I want you to be happy.

You keep looking at your watch, Roc.

Mm? Oh, I do? Oh...

You know, there's no sense in spending all this money

on an expensive meal if you're not gonna be in the mood.

Oh, come on, Eleanor, don't be silly.

I don't care what it cost, you know.

Just as long as we don't fight like the other night.

What did you say?

I can't believe I said that either.

- I don't care what it costs. - No!

The part about us fighting.

You did this because of the fight.

You brought me to this nice restaurant

just to shut me up.

Now, come on, Eleanor. Baby...

I don't wanna sh-shut you up, your friends maybe.

- But-- - My.. Is that what you think?

You think my friends tricked me

into wanting just a little romance from my husband?

Well, yeah. I mean, no. I mean, damn it's hot in here.

Roc, could you take me home now, please?

Oh, come on, Eleanor. It's the champagne talking.

You hardly had any champagne.

You think they'll take it back?

What are you looking at?

- Alright, let's hear it, pop. - Okay.

"I feel it from my head down to my shoe.

"Without you girl, I feel blue.

"I spend all day thinking 'bout you.

Without you girl, I feel blue."

Pop, you know, you keep saying that same phrase

over and over again. "I feel blue. I feel blue."

Yeah, well, I thought

I feel black was just a little too political.

Back so soon?

Oh, come on, baby. I said I was sorry.

Hey, hey, sis, what's in that duck?

Careful that's mine, you know.

Doesn't look like it went too well, son.

Oh, pop, I did everything right.

I took her to a fancy restaurant.

I ordered expensive champagne...

...by the bottle.

Then what happened?

She said my heart wasn't in it.

Oh, Roc, why is it that flowers and a nice dinner

once in a while is hard for you?

Oh, come on, pop. I know you did all those mushy things for mom.

You know, but I'm, you know, that's just

that's just not me, you know.

- Sit down, son. - Oh, Lord.

I hope this ain't-isn't one of your stories from the '60s.

You know all those romantic things

I said I did for your mother?

- Yeah, pop. - Well, I exaggerated.

Wait a minute. You didn't... You mean...

You didn't take mom on midnight train rides?

Or play her favorite song?

Well, once.

And, well, it's been a heavy burden on my shoulder

ever since because I didn't do it more.

Oh, well, pop, you know, Eleanor knows how I feel about her.

Are you sure about that, son?

Well, yeah.

I mean, she has to know, pop.

I mean, she knows I wanna do things for her, you know.

I mean, one day, I'm gonna buy her a big house.

Take her on a trip around the world.

Oh, Roc, you're talking about goals.

Son, I'm talking about memories.

...wanna have to tell Roc to be romantic.

I want him to just be romantic.

I want us to be crazy in love like we used to be.

You know, the way Cynthia is with her new boyfriend.

Damn, this is good.

Joey.

Oh.

I'm sorry, sis. Go ahead.

I'm listening. I'm listening.

It's just that I don't want Roc and I to end up

like some of those old couples I see at the hospital.

Sitting there for hours not saying a word to each other.

Staying together 'cause they done got used to each other.

I don't wanna end up like that.

Like... strangers.

Sis, I'm gonna tell you something, okay?

And, uh, you got to promise not to repeat this to anybody, okay?

Yeah.

- I envy, Roc. - What?

I envy Roc.

You envy, Roc?

Ugh! Sounds so much worse when you say it.

Yeah, b-b-but it's true.

I mean, look I do all those romantic things

that you think Roc should do right?

Plus, probably a few you never even heard of, but...

But what do I get?

I mean, I get a few laughs, I get a little bit of affection

and then I get to go home alone.

Roc comes home to you.

Eleanor, he lives for that.

Well, I guess so.

Alright, question.

What is it that Roc used to do

before you were married that he doesn't do now?

- Lots of things. - Like what?

Well, he-he used to take me on carriage rides by the harbor...

No, that was Tyrone.

Oh, I know, he used to write me...

No, that was somebody else, too.

You know, Joey, come to think of it.

Roc's never really been very romantic.

Except if he found a perk that day.

You know, sis...

...when you work a double-shift at the hospital...

- Yeah? - ...Roc waits up for you.

- Yeah. - That's your carriage ride.

When he rubs your tired feet till you fall asleep...

...that's your poem.

Now, that's not the kind of romance

that they make movies about, but hey, that's Roc.

So, you know, don't compare him to anybody else

'cause Roc is definitely not like anybody else.

Oh, Joey.

- Thank you. - Ah!

How come you ain't bring home any dessert?

You done ate up everything?

I'm serious. I-I need something sweet.

Romance her, son.

If you don't, you may wind up regretting it.

Hey, thanks, pop.

You're welcome, son.

Well, Eleanor...

...I'm sorry for hurting you tonight.

Oh, Roc, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't even pushed you into something

you really didn't want to do.

Oh, that's.. You know, it's not like I don't wanna be romantic.

It's just that, you know, you know...

You know...

...I'm just not good at it, you know.

Roc, you're lousy at it

but you are good...

...at so many other things.

Eleanor, you wanna go out to the backyard and...

...look at the stars?

I'd love to.

Eleanor baby, you're the greatest.

Well, Loretta, that's another week with a roof over my head.

"Roc" live will be right back.

Nah, that's no good.

Yeah, I know.

Pop, I think we should just call it quits, man.

I guess trying to write a song together

was just a bad idea, huh?

Well, it wasn't this hard when we did it the first time.

I got an idea, pop. What if we, uh... sing that old song?

Maybe it'll get us back on track for this one.

- Good thinking. - Good, good.

- You remember how it went? - Word for word.

Alright, let me hear it.

♪ The little fat dog went arf arf arf ♪

♪ Arf arf arf ♪

♪ Arf arf arf ♪

♪ The little fat dog went arf arf arf ♪

♪ All day long ♪

Pop, you just sang one of the stupidest songs I ever heard.

We wrote that mess?

Well, you liked it when you were seven.

Man, come on. Sing a little with me.

You must be out of your mind. I ain't singing...

♪ The little fat cow went moo ♪

No, oh...