Original subtitles

Well, Eddie Murphy sure has come a long way since

"My girl wants to party all the time.

Party all the time. Party all the time."

Ooh.

Anyway, you know Eddie got a new movie out

and it features the star of our show...

...Mr. Charles S. Dutton, our very own.

And for a change, his hair.

Anyway, since Charles is much too modest

to speak up about his own movie, I'm gonna do it for him.

And since we don't have a clip or anything

I'm gonna have to act out all the parts, okay.

So, now Charles' character

is standing there with his niece wearing a nice suit.

And then Eddie's character comes up.

And so he says...

"So is this your uncle?"

And then Charles' character...

Oh and girl, he's wearing this goatee

looking so fine.

Oh, girl, we talking Billy De-licious.

So, Charles, he's standin' there with this nice suit on.

And so he says...

"Yeah. My niece tells me you're not half as slimy as I thought."

What do you think?

That's some pretty good imitation of Charles, ain't it?

So, sit back and enjoy the show.

This is "Roc Live" from Hollywood.

We better get to work, Charles. Places.

♪ Them that's got shall have ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ So the Bible says ♪

♪ And it still is news ♪

♪ Mama may have ♪

♪ Papa may have ♪

♪ But God bless the child ♪

♪ That's got his own ♪

♪ That's got his own ♪ Them that's got shall get ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ Them that's got shall get ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

Hey, pop.

Hey, son.

You know, I was just reading here about

the state of our educational system.

- It's a mess. - Yeah, I know, pop.

I hope when Clinton gets in office

he does something about it.

Well, he better.

Our children's futures depend on it.

If a child doesn't get a good education

he could grow up to be a criminal or a drug addict.

Or the owner of the Cincinnati Reds.

Hey, pop, I picked up some really great stuff

on my route today.

What? You finally got ahold of some tapes

for that eight track player you found?

Hey, don't kid yourself, pop. Eight track's coming back.

'Yeah..'

Hey, look, something else good happened today, too.

I bumped into Ronnie and he's inviting me

and some of the fellas over

to watch the Johnson Morales fight.

Oh, really? I didn't know Ronnie had cable.

Yeah, it's not that great, you know.

He still needs pliers to change the channel.

- Hey. - Hey, Eleanor.

Eleanor, there's a package for you on the table.

Oh, goody, finally.

It's probably the crystal platter that I ordered.

Oh, it's beautiful.

What? Forty-eight dollars for a bumpy piece of glass?

I'll get a blow torch and a old car windshield

and make you one for nothin'.

Roc, I don't have anything nice like this for company.

Eleanor, we don't need a forty-eight dollar platter

to serve two dollar potato chips.

Roc, when have you ever sprung for two dollar potato chips?

Roc, why can't I have one new

beautiful nice thing in this house?

Now, we both making some good money.

Why do we have to deny ourselves these simple pleasures?

Eleanor, we're in a recession. Banks are failing every day.

Companies are laying people off by the thousands.

Look, and if things are gonna improve

we all have to do our part to bring the national budget down.

So, are you saying that the future of the entire US economy

hinges on this one forty-eight dollar platter?

Well, yeah.

Well, I was gonna buy some pants.

But now I'm afraid it'll cause the stock market to crash.

Oh...

See, daddy even know how you are.

♪ Yeah keep on rocking ♪

Man, I don't agree with that. What are you saying?

You don't know what you talkin' about.

Hey, hey, hey, my money says this macho Morales is gonna put

this boy Scrap Iron Johnson on his face kissing the canvas

six rounds, watch.

- Watch, watch. - Joey, that's why you ignorant.

When you run your mouth off like that

I wanna donate to the United Negro College fund

because your mind is a waste.

Scrap Iron Johnson is gonna go the distance with Morales.

Hey, I ain't lying about that.

Them boys in Vegas gonna make sure they go the distance.

Or sleep with the fishes, you know what I'm saying?

Well, Ronnie, for the record, the plural for fish is fish.

But, uh, you know what I'm saying, right?

Yeah.

Alright, the fight is getting ready. Come on.

I'm gonna get another beer. Anybody want anything?

- I'll take another cold one. - Yeah, some Beer Nuts, Roc.

Hey, Roc, make me a ham and Swiss on rye

and hold the mayonnaise and put some Grey Poupon on it.

Thanks.

'Good evening, sports fans.'

'Welcome to the main event of the evening.'

'The middle weight championship of the world.'

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Let's get ready to rumble!

- Alright. - Come on.

Hey, Roc, you better come on back, man

the fight getting ready to start.

'Alright, I'll be right there.'

'I'm bakin' the bread for Joey's sandwich.'

Alright, alright, it's time baby.

Oh!

- Oh! Oh! What's going on? - Wait a minute.

- Five, six, seven... - Get up!

- What are you doing? - Eight, nine...

That's the fight, baby. Stop the fight.

What did I tell you? What did I tell you?

What did I tell you, huh? What did I tell you about this boy?

Hey, hey, Scrap Iron Johnson

is a tired-no-stamina-having-two dollar-pull-in-a-gas-tank

stranded-on-the-highway punk. Always has been.

Hey, what happened? What happened?

What happened? He got knocked out.

Good thing the pliers didn't fall over TV

we'd have missed the whole thing.

Oh, man, you sayin' I missed it all, man?

Everything but the autopsy.

Here, here, Joey, you want this sandwich?

No, the fight's over. I want no sandwich now.

Now, you're gonna eat this Grey Poupon and--

Alright, alright, alright. Not in this man's house.

Alright, so what we gonna do now?

I missed the fight. Look, why don't we go bowling?

- Man. - No bowling, man.

We can do a little pool or somethin'.

Oh, man, nobody wants to shoot no pool, man.

Hey, I'll tell you what.

Why don't we just sit around and talk?

About women and cars.

Hey, hey, hey. Ya'll wanna play some poker?

- That's a good idea. - Let's play some poker then.

Put your money where your mouth is. I know you just got paid.

- So let's go. - Hey, you mean...

You mean, for money?

No, Roc, for goats and chickens like in the old country.

Yeah, for money. Come on.

Now why do we only have to play for money, you know?

Can't we just play for, you know, the joy of the sport?

Come on, Roc, man, you suckin' all the fun out of the evening.

I mean, you know, everyone thinks you gotta shell out

a lot of money to have fun.

- That's not true. - Oh, here we go.

I mean, okay, just like you guys, you know.

You spend $2.50 on a beer.

If I gotta go out and blow 2.50, I'm gonna do it at happy hour.

That way I get beer, popcorn, chicken wing

and a fist full of chicken wings.

So, what's your point, Roc?

You sayin' we should play for chicken wings?

No, I'll tell you what.

Let's play for match sticks.

- Ooh. - Ooh.

Match sticks, well, my palms are sweatin' now, deal me in.

Alright, check this out. Why don't we just play?

- Is that cool? - Alright, match sticks...

- Match sticks it is. - Alright.

Alright, cool, since we playing for match sticks

we might as well smoke some bubble gum cigars...

- Yeah, I fold. - Yeah, me too.

Yeah, me, too, I got a hand like a foot.

Well, Roc...

- Look like it's me and you. - 'That's right.'

Three tens. Ha-ha, I feel for you, baby.

- Oh! Nice hand, Fred. - Tough to beat.

- Eh, a pair of queens. - Ha--

Oh-oh.. Plus, their ugly sister.

- Oh... - There you go.

Now, I'll tell you if these match sticks was dollars

I'd be in loss 83 bucks.

Yeah, and I would've won about three months of rent. Whoa!

Look here, ladies, all this old nursery school poker

is fine and dandy. But this time we get down for real.

- You know what I'm sayin'? - Yeah, I hear you.

Well, I know what you're saying. Do you know what you're saying?

'Cause if you're sayin' what I think you're sayin'

you're sayin' you wanna play for some real money?

Yeah.

You wanna play me for some real money?

Well, then hold off the fire alarm 'cause I'm smokin'.

Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute, Roc.

So you trying to say you wanna play for money for real?

- You talkin' to me? - Yeah.

- No, is you talkin' to me? - Yeah, I'm...

I'm askin' you if you wanna play for real?

- You wanna play for real? - You must be, my brother.

Let's play for real.

Y'all wanna play me for real for some money?

Come on. Let's play.

Y'all wanna play me for some money?

Y'all wanna play me for some money?

Alright, we'll play for some money.

Ya'll wanna play me for some money. Alright. Come on.

'Wanna play me for some money.'

If you don't sit your Larry Moe and Curly dancin' self...

Alright, okay, you wanna play for some money.

Alright, fine. Alright.

Okay, let's get it on. Let's get down to business.

- Alright. - Dollar a match stick.

- Dollar a match stick. - That's cool.

Dollar a match stick, pal.

Yes, yes, yes.

Well, Roc, you now owe me $706

American, my brother.

Sure, sure, whatever.

You not gonna have a problem with payin' me, are you?

Problem?

Man, easy come, easy go.

Whoa, I tell you.

See, Roc Emerson dropped $700 in poker.

I tell ya, I know I should've brought my camcorder.

- See you later, Joey. - I'll see y'all later.

'Alright, Fred, take it easy.'

So, Roc, how you gonna pay this man?

You gonna dig up some coffee cans

you got buried in your backyard?

Hey, look, Ronnie, I've to run down to the bank.

I'll square you-I'll square you away later.

Hey, man, I know you're good for it.

Don't worry about it.

- You wanna have a cold one? - Yeah, yeah.

Right on.

Seven hundred dollars.

Damn! How did this happen?

- It's like I went crazy. - Well--

I knew one day I'll have to blow my brains out.

That'll teach you, Roc.

You should leave gambling to us professionals.

Eleanor's gonna kill me when she finds out about this.

So, don't tell her then, Roc.

Joey, Eleanor reads bank statements.

When she sees the $700 missing what am I gonna tell her, huh?

Clinton raised taxes.

Alright, alright, Roc, how about this?

I'll give you the $700, okay?

You pay me back a little bit at a time.

That way Eleanor, she'll never know anything about it.

- No, Joey, forget it. - Well, come on, Roc.

Seriously, now since that car accident

my pockets have been runnin' deep for a change.

As much as you've done for me, let me do this for you.

Joey, I don't borrow money from anyone.

It's just not the way I live.

Roc, there's nothing wrong with going into debt.

I mean, the last five presidents did it.

It's your birth right as an American. Come on.

Joey, if I borrow, I owe.

And I don't wanna owe anyone. Especially you.

So, what you're tryin' to say, Roc? My money is no good?

- Well, not that but-- - Yeah, yes, it is.

See, Roc, it would just kill you to let me do

something for you once,' wouldn't it? Damn.

Well, then never mind, big brother.

Forget I even brought it up. Was trying to do something for you...

Hey, man.

I overheard Joey, your brother talking.

You know, I gotta tell you something.

I really respect your integrity.

Of course...

...I would've taken the money. You know what I'm saying.

That's the kind of brother I am. You know what I'm sayin'.

"Roc Live" will continue in a moment.

♪ Keep on rocking ♪

Roc lost $700 at poker?

- Mm-hmm. - He can't even say $700.

Yeah, I know, pop.

You know, I tried to give him the money

so he wouldn't have to tell Eleanor about it.

- Uh-huh. - He turned me down.

I mean, that's insulting, pop.

I mean, especially since I've been polite enough

to take everything he's ever given me.

Well, son, don't take it personally.

Roc's always been too proud to take anything from anyone.

Now, I remember when I used to come home

from one of those long railroad trips.

I'd feel guilty about being away from you boys.

So I'd take you to a movie.

But Roc would always insist on paying his own way.

That must've made you feel more guilty, huh?

No, not really. I just made him pay for you and me too.

Okay, I'm gonna get out of here, pop.

I don't wanna be around when Roc gets home.

Yeah, I wish I could say the same thing. But I live here.

- Take it easy, daddy. - Alright, you too, son.

Alright.

- Hey, pop. - 'Hey.'

- Eleanor home? - No, not yet.

But don't worry.

I didn't breathe a word to her about all that money you lost.

Oh, man, Joey told you already.

Oh, son, don't blame Joey.

See, Joey and I have an understanding.

He tells me your business. And I let him into your house.

Well, it doesn't matter anyway, pop.

'Cause I'm gonna bite the bullet

and tell Eleanor everything.

Oh, I wouldn't do that, son.

The last time you told her about one of your gross errors

of judgment, we got on a first name basis

with this pizza delivery boy.

Oh, pop, I gotta tell her, you know

otherwise... I feel guilty.

Why do you always have to confess?

I swear, when your mother was pregnant with you

she must've been scared by a Catholic.

Oh, hey, baby.

Eleanor, those are some beautiful flowers.

Oh, thank you, daddy.

Yeah, they'll go perfect on your grave.

Now, son, I wouldn't do that if I was you.

I'm tellin' you.

- Uh, Eleanor. - Yeah, sweetie, baby.

Uh, I'll call the pizza guy now.

- Uh, Eleanor. - Hmm.

- We need to talk. - Oh, Roc, come on.

Now don't start gettin' on me about these flowers.

They only co.. They was on sale, only cost a dollar forty nine.

And I didn't even touch the household fund.

I used some change that I found under the sofa cushion.

Hey, well, that's great.

Ain't you becoming a fine domestic economist.

- Thank you. - Hey, listen, sweetheart.

What I wanted to tell you is, um...

Well... it all started, you know

with the fight last night, you know.

- Yeah. - It was real short.

- Yeah. - You know, real short.

I mean, real, real, real, real short.

Roc, honey, what are you trying to say?

Oh, we didn't have anything else to do, you know

so we played poker, and I lost $700.

What did you say?

Oh, you know, it was a real short fight, I was crying

'cause, you know I lost...

You lost $700. Roc, how could you?

Eleanor, I got really excited.

You know, my blood started pumping, you know.

I started picturing myself with all this cash in my pocket.

Did you also picture yourself with suitcases and a bus ticket?

Hey, come on, Eleanor.

Come on, I made a mistake and I'm sorry.

And I don't need to be lectured about it.

Oh, yeah, right.

You don't need a lecture about losing $700

but I need a lecture about a crystal platter

that cost only $47.

Forty-eight.

Look at this, Roc.

So, Eleanor, did you drop it or bust it over his head?

I dropped this one but it's still early.

Well, if it were me

I'd have taken the $700 from Joey

and kept it quiet.

Joey offered you $700 and you didn't take it?

Oh, come on, Eleanor.

You know how I feel about borrowing money.

Roc, so you're saying that you could've taken the money

paid up, I wouldn't have known anything

and I still had my beautiful vase?

Well, yeah, I guess so.

What the hell wrong with you?

You on some kind of medication I don't know nothing about?

And when he turned down Joey's help

he hurt his feelings too.

In fact, as Joey told it to me

I think he was holdin' back tears.

Oh, poor little Joey.

Bid bad Roc wouldn't take his money.

I don't think he meant it. He was showboating.

Joey's never done nothin' unless it's for Joey.

Hey, Roc, I need to talk to you in private, please.

Anything you've to say to me

you can say it in front of Eleanor and pop.

Roc, if I tell you in front of certain people

it defeats the purpose of what I got to tell you.

Well, just go on, say what you gotta say.

Alright, fine.

Roc, I bought you a marker from Ronnie, so wouldn't have to

tell your wife about that $700 you lost.

Now she knows, are you happy?

Well, alright, Joey.

Wait a minute, she knew already?

That's right, so I don't need your money.

Well, I'm gonna lend it to you anyway.

- Look, Joey, I told you no. - I don't care what you say.

I'm gonna give you this help whether you want it or not.

Forget it, I pay my own debts.

There was a time when you weren't so independent

that you took money from me.

If you talkin' about that pencil box

I paid you back for it.

Now, you just wait a minute.

Now, you just listen to me, Roc Emerson.

I'm gonna tell you something. Now Joey here is family.

And that is what family is for, to depend on.

Yeah, you're always sayin' that Joey was too selfish.

Now this is a big step for him. Let him help you.

Now, Roc, I want you to accept what Joey did.

And I want you to tell him thank you.

Ha, you can't be serious.

She looks serious to me.

Now, what do you say when somebody gives you something?

Thanks.

Now you can do better than that.

Come on, Roc, say it like you mean it.

I'm waiting.

Well, thank you, Joey.

I'll write you a check.

Check? Are you crazy?

After all the food he's eaten out of our refrigerator?

After all the loads of laundry I done washed for him?

Oh, I know how to pay him back, Roc.

Joey, I wanna thank you very much.

Son, you made me feel real proud today.

Eh, eh. That's the last time I loan anybody

in this family some money.

I'm serious, too. That's it, I'm serious.

From now on, "Eh, Joey, can I borrow--"

"No, you can't borrow nothing."

"Roc Live" will be back after these messages.

♪ Whoa whoa whoa oh whoa ♪

- Deal the cards. - I know how to play poker.

I'm not sayin' that you don't.

I just wanna see how you managed to flush

$700 down the toilet.

Eleanor, all I wanna know is

is this gonna haunt me till I die?

No, if you slip into a coma someday, I'll let it go.

Just look at your cards, Roc.

Bad hand, huh?

What, what, what happened?

What, what, what did I do? My face give it away?

Sorta.

You perspiring and I can see the cards

reflected on your forehead.

♪ Keep on rocking ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ Whoa whoa ♪

♪ Keep on rocking ♪

♪ Whoa yeah ♪