Original subtitles

♪ Whoa-oh whoa-oh whoa oh-whoa ♪

'So, hurry, there are only 17 left.'

'And remember, they're solid gold-plated.'

Oh, Lord, I gotta get in on this.

Come on, baby. Come on, baby.

- Come on, pick up, baby. - 'Hello, who's on the line?'

Ho! Jackpot! Hey, uh, this is Joey from Baltimore.

'Hello, Joey from Baltimore.'

'Are you a first-time caller?'

Uh, yes, I am.

'Well, you're on with Tina at the Super Shopping Network.'

- 'May I help you?' - Yeah, can I get a number?

'Of course, the number of that item is BY372--'

Uh, no, no, no, Tina.

I want your number.

'Next caller please.'

Hey, Tina. Tina!

Damn! So much for shopping at home.

♪ Them that's got shall have ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ So the Bible says ♪

♪ And it's still in news ♪

♪ Mama may have ♪

♪ Papa may have ♪

♪ But God bless the child ♪

♪ That's got his own ♪

♪ Them that's got shall get ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ Them that's got shall get ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ Whoa-oh oh-whoa ♪

♪ She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes ♪

Well, goodbye, kids.

- I'm outta here. - Where you goin', pop?

- Well-- - He's got a date with Maureen.

Yeah, sweet Maureen.

And see, Roc? you didn't even want me to fix them up.

Well, I changed my mind...

...once I found out she had her own place.

Pop, you sure seeing an awful lot of her.

- Well, you know-- - They got a lot in common.

I knew they'd be perfect for each other.

- You sure were right, Eleanor. - 'Mm-hmm.'

Maureen is a lovely woman.

So tell me about her, pop.

- Well, she's about-- - She's in her 50s.

But she look like she in her 40s. And she bright.

And got this cute little hourglass figure.

Uh, Eleanor, would you like to take her out?

No, daddy, I told you once I introduced you two

I was out of it.

Well, thank you, Eleanor.

So where're you taking her?

- Well-- - That's right.

He said he gonna take her to Sails on the Harbor.

Uh-huh. So, what are they having, Eleanor?

How would I know?

Well, for your information...

...we both have a taste for scrod.

Well, goodnight, kids.

♪ She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes ♪

I've never seen pops so excited about a woman

in a long time.

And down at the hospital

Maureen never stops talking about dad.

Oh, really?

Yeah, between you and me

Maureen never stops talking about anything.

Honey, that child can talk.

Well, this is a match made in Heaven.

- I have one question though. - What's that?

What the hell is scrod?

Oh, come on, Eleanor. You don't know what scrod is?

Roc, you don't know what it is either, do you?

- Yes, I do. - What is it?

It's lamb.

Hey, hey, greetings, sports fans.

Man, it's tough out there. They are not hiring anywhere.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, you mean

you were out looking for a job?

No, I read it in the papers.

They said they're not hiring anywhere.

Well, enough about me. What you got.. Ow!

So, what're you doing here? What's going on here, Roc?

I'm doing something you haven't done in your entire life.

I'm doing my taxes.

Is that the short form you filing?

Yeah, it's the same one I file every year.

Look, Roc, I know it's your money. Well, sort of.

But you know, you can make yourself a nice chunk of change

as a refund if you took the time to file the long form

and take advantage of all the deductions.

Joey, for your information

we're already gettin' a refund.

Three hundred and forty-seven dollars.

- Ha! You hear that, Eleanor? - Wow.

That's more than we got last year.

That's right. Five bucks.

So what do you say, Eleanor, you think we ought to donate

a dollar to a campaign fund?

Yeah, sure.

I think all the candidates runnin'

are worth about a dollar.

That's exactly what the IRS wants you to do, Roc.

You're putty in their hands, man.

- What do you mean? - Look, it might take longer.

But filing the long form and taking all the deductions

that are rightfully yours, Roc, you'll make a big refund, man.

You just throwing money away like this, that's not like you.

- Is this a cheap shot, Joey? - Yeah, but this is business.

Look here, for instance, Roc, under your number of deductions.

Yeah, yeah, two. Me and Eleanor.

- Roc, what am I, chopped-liver? - What are you talking about?

Roc, I live here, you pay for my food, you pay for my rent.

I'm a dependent. What good am I if you can't write me up?

Now, Joey, you sure you know what you're doing?

Roc, trust me, I'm here to help you.

Alright.

And if you're making a sandwich, I'll have one too.

Let's see here.

Now, let's look under Charitable Donations.

What does Roc give money to?

Well, he gives it to me.

Let's see

I'm a charitable donation.

I'm a dependent.

Why, he ought to be glad I'm living here.

Oh, Maureen! Tonight was magnificent.

Yeah, you were right to suggest we skip dessert.

Nothin' on that pastry cart could compare to this.

We ran some groove, sweet thing.

Gee. I hope all the screaming didn't disturb your neighbors.

I just couldn't control myself.

Uh, you sure are quiet.

Considering you're usually quite a little chatterbox.

Maureen.

Maureen.

Maureen!

Oh, my God.

- We gonna do my taxes today? - Oh, yeah.

Did you get together the receipts like I asked you to?

Yeah, here it is.

That's all I have.

Ten dollars and ninety-nine cents

for a box of Christmas tree air fresheners?

Joey, have you ever been in the cab of a garbage truck?

No, Roc, I thought I'd see you up first.

Well, I'm not talking to you as your scheming brother Joey

I'm talking to you as your scheming accountant brother.

Listen, we gotta need a lot more receipts

'cause I got a ton of deductions planned.

Well, look, this is all I had. You know what I mean?

You just can't make 'em up.

No, of course not, Roc.

That would be cheating.

Hey, hey, sweetheart.

How you doing, baby?

Hey, Eleanor, you won't believe it.

Pops stayed out all night last night.

Really? Oh, good for him.

Yeah, I'll say.

'Cause you know what they say about them nurses.

No, Roc, I don't know what they say.

They don't say nothin', baby.

Hey, papa. So, you're out a little late, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Uh, Eleanor?

Did you say Maureen was your supervisor?

Yeah, daddy.

Well, you may be in line for a promotion.

What do you mean?

Oh, you kids won't believe this.

Something terrible happened.

Maureen passed away.

- What? - Oh, come on, pops.

Stop kidding, stop kidding around.

No, Roc.

He's not kiddin', he's serious.

Oh, my God.

Daddy, what happened?

Well, we were at dinner.

We were having a great time.

Next thing I know she just died.

Daddy, you wanna talk about it?

Uh, no, I'd rather not. Excuse me.

- Morning, pop. - Yes, I am, son.

What's with him?

Joey, daddy's date died last night.

Well, sometimes these things don't work out.

He'll find somebody else.

- No, Joey, she really died. - Yeah.

Oh, man! That's, that's tough.

- Let's get to these taxes. - Joey!

- How can you be so cold? - Sis, you know the saying.

The only thing you can count on is death and taxes.

Man, both in the same day. What are the odds on that?

Daddy, how are you feeling?

Oh, I'm feeling a little better.

It must've come as quite a shock. Huh, pop?

Mm-hmm.

You ready to talk about it now?

Well, I already did.

What do you mean, pop?

I spoke to your dearly departed mother Loretta about it

and I figured out why this happened.

Well, why did it happen, pop?

Well, isn't it obvious?

It's a sign from Loretta telling me

to stay away from other women.

Oh, no, Pop, you've lost your mind.

Daddy, you're just looking for an excuse

to help you deal with this tragedy.

I mean, you must be under tremendous emotional stress.

Oh, I know, Eleanor.

Uh, listen, I'm a rational man.

I don't really believe that spirits of the dead

pass out threats to the living.

But just to be on the safe side

I'm never gonna look at another woman for the rest of my life.

You know that reminds me of another deduction.

Oh, shut up, Joey.

♪ Whoa-oh whoa-oh whoa oh-whoa ♪

Eleanor, I don't know, you know

I don't know if it's a good idea butting in into pops' life.

I'm not butting in, Roc.

I just invited Helen over because she's a nice person.

- Uh-huh. - Okay, so maybe I'm butting in.

But it's for his own good.

Well, Eleanor, I don't know, if I know Pop

he's not gonna take it that well.

Well, you let me worry about that.

Besides, Helen's a very interesting person.

- Does she have a good heart? - She's the sweetest person.

No, does she have a good heart?

- Oh, Roc, please. - Hey, kids.

Hi, daddy.

Well, Claps is busy tonight. And I don't know where Joey is.

Would you kids be interested in taking in a movie?

Well, we can't tonight, daddy.

Um, we're having some company over for supper.

Oh, well, have a good time.

Maybe Wiz would wanna do something.

Uh, no, no, daddy.

Um, look, why don't you join us for dinner, huh?

- Yeah, pop. - Well, okay.

Great. Who's the company?

Oh, just a lady I know from church.

On second thought, maybe it's not a good idea.

Alright now, pop, I'm not gonna lie to you.

Now, now, look, Eleanor thinks you've been taking this

sign-from-mom thing a little too far now.

Besides, it's been a while.

Mom wouldn't hold a grudge that long.

Eleanor, listen.

I appreciate what you're trying to do.

I know you care for me.

But I'm just not ready.

- And, Roc? - Yeah, pop.

You got some damn nerve butting into my business.

Oh, daddy, that's her.

Please, now, it won't hurt you to just meet her.

Just meet her.

Helen, I'm so glad you could make it.

Thanks for inviting me.

I brought you a little something.

Oh, Helen, that wasn't even necessary.

But thank you. Come on in.

Helen, I'd like for you to meet my husband Roc Emerson.

- Hi, how you doing? - Hello, Roc.

And, Helen, this is my father-in-law Andrew Emerson.

- How do you do, Andrew? - Nice to meet you.

Well, I gotta be goin'.

Oh, no, come on, sit down, pop, let's chat.

Have a seat.

Eleanor mentioned you used to work on the railroad.

That's fascinating. I love trains.

Yeah, pop worked on the railroad for 36 years.

'Boy, he's got some great stories to tell.'

Hey, pop, how about that terrific story you tell

about working on the Century Limited

with Lena Horne?

Lena Horne? Oh, that's exciting.

What happened?

The train was late.

Well, he usually tells it so much better.

Um, daddy...

You know, Helen owns a cute little flower shop

down on State Street.

Oh, that's nice.

Uh, listen, is dinner ready yet?

In a few minutes.

Call me.

Wonderful story.

I wish your father could've told it.

Oh, Helen, I'm so sorry about that.

Uh, well, looks like I better get going.

- Oh, do you have to? - I'm afraid so.

Oh.

But, Eleanor, dinner was just fabulous.

Oh, thank you.

I think...

- Well, It was nice meeting you. - Oh, okay. Bye, Helen. Um...

And I'm sorry about my ex-father.

- You call me soon now, Helen. - I will.

- And thank you. - Oh, yeah.

What, your friend gone so soon?

Daddy, you were upstairs for two hours?

What, she couldn't wait?

If she has somewhere better to go

she shouldn't have come by.

Daddy, I'm really angry.

You embarrassed my friend and me.

- How could you do this to her? - What did I do?

- You were rude, pop. - How dare you behave this way!

What gives you the right to treat another person like that?

I'm sure Loretta didn't tell you to demean

and insult people like that.

How do you know?

You didn't talk to her.

Hey, pop, Eleanor was thinking of you

when she invited Helen over.

You've been acting weird lately.

Well, weirder.

I'm sorry, son.

Now, I said I swore off women.

When I say something, I mean it.

Well, when I say something, I mean it, pop.

And you let me down.

I mean, Eleanor invited Helen over here

because we care about you.

If you care about me, you'd leave me alone.

Okay, fine, pop, that's what I'll do.

You ain't gotta ever worry about me...

But let me tell you one thing.

The one thing you taught me was to respect women.

And I never thought I'd see you treat a woman

the way you treated Helen tonight.

Well, you don't know what I've been living with.

Oh, pop, for the last time now

you're not responsible for Maureen's death.

Now, I know it's shocked you

but she had a history of heart trouble.

You can't blame yourself.

Oh, yes, I can. You don't know the whole story.

Oh, come on, pop, what are you talking about?

You said she passed at dinner.

Oh, I know I said that

but that's not completely the truth.

What do you mean? She didn't die at dinner?

Well, you could say she died at dessert.

Well, as dessert.

- What? - Oh, grow up, son.

What do I have to do? Spell it out for you?

While I was basking in the afterglow

poor Maureen was already in the afterlife.

Oh, my God.

She died in bed?

Right there next to me.

Sometimes I think if I had kissed her goodnight

and left her at the door...

...she might still be alive today.

Pop, why didn't you tell us this when it happened?

Well, it was embarrassing.

Not just for me, but for poor Maureen

going like that.

Yeah, uh, I can understand. You know?

Look, son, I didn't really think it was a sign from Loretta.

The fact is...

...two wonderful women in my life have died.

I don't wanna open up myself up to that experience again.

Now, look, pop, I know this hurts. You know?

But you can't stop livin', just because Maureen did.

I mean, think about it, you know

she might have died alone that night.

You know, you, um...

You probably gave her her last moments of pleasure, pop.

You may be right, son.

I think I did make her happy at the end.

I mean, I was a quite a firecracker that night.

Between you and me

I may have reached my own personal best.

Oh, that's great, pop.

I think we've said all that needs to be said

don't you think, pop?

Sure, son.

So, what do I do?

Well, you can go up and apologize to Eleanor.

That's a good idea, son.

I'll go upstairs and apologize to Eleanor now.

- Roc. - Yeah, pop.

Thanks, son.

Ah, don't mention it, pop.

'Firecracker.'

Hey, hey, Roc, good news.

Your refund check came today, but you weren't here

so as your accountant, I assumed power of attorney.

You didn't cash it, did you?

No, I wanted to see the look

on your face when you opened it.

Fifteen hundred dollars!

Fifteen hundred dollars.

Oh, Joey, I can't believe this. This is great.

So, Roc, you're in a good mood, huh?

Oh, I'm in a $1500 good mood.

Hey, you know somethin', Joey? I'm gonna share this with you.

You gonna...

Um, look, Roc, you hang on to it, okay?

But why?

'Cause, uh, this also came.

Oh, oh, what's this?

Roc, you're being audited for the past five years.

What?

Yeah, I guess that long form you filed

kinda sent up a red flag.

- Joey! - We can work this out.

We can work this out.

- Andrew? - 'Hello, Helen.'

What do you want?

Helen, I came by to apologize.

That wasn't necessary.

Oh, yes, it is.

Listen, I was rude and inconsiderate.

I was gonna bring you flowers

but since you're a florist

that would be gilding the lily.

So to speak.

So I brought you 31 flavors instead.

I love ice-cream.

What kind?

Well, I just told you.

I brought you 31 flavors.

Well, I didn't know what kind you like.

Look, can I come in?

This is a lot of ice-cream

my hands are frostbit.

Alright, come on in.

You know, I dropped the whole social security check on this

so I hope you have an appetite.

You sure know how to make an entrance.

Look, Helen, if it's alright with you

let's start the evening over.

Hi, I'm Andrew Emerson.

Ooh!

You weren't kidding.

You are frostbitten.

Well, you know what they say.

Cold hands... warm heart.

And Lena sang to me all the way to New York.

You do tell a much better Lena Horne story than your son.

Who, by the way, is a very nice man.

As a matter of fact, you have a wonderful family.

Yeah. I'm lucky to have him.

But you know something...

You can be surrounded by a family and still be lonely.

Yes, I know what you mean.

Well, that's why it's so nice

when you meet someone

you're comfortable with.

Are you comfortable with me now, Andrew?

Yes.

Very much so.

♪ Don't know why ♪

♪ There's no sun up in the sky ♪

Did Lena Horne really sing this song to you?

Hmm. Well, as far as I'm concerned she did.

Who would have thought

the way evening started

that it would turn out like this?

I'm so glad you came by to apologize, Andrew.

So am I.

But it's late. I better be going.

Andrew, you don't have to.

Look, Helen, I have to tell you something.

The reason I behaved towards you

the way I did earlier this evening is...

...I was just coming off a pretty tragic experience.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Well, if you don't want to--

Oh, I do, but...

I'm a little nervous.

Oh, you don't have to be nervous.

Oh, yeah.

But you do.

Why?

Well...

The last woman I made love to dropped dead right afterwards.

Really?

I'll take my chances.

Really?

♪ Everything I had is gone ♪

'Oh, Helen.'

'That was wonderful.'

'What do you say we go to dinner tomorrow night?'

'Helen?'

'Helen!'

'Ah, yes, Andrew?'

'Oh, Lord!'

'Don't ever do that to me again.'