Original subtitles

♪ Whoa-ooh whoa-ooh whoa ohoo whoa ♪

- Hey, Joey. - Hey, Roc.

Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.

Yeah, I bet you've been waitin' around all day for that.

Roc, I know you think all I do

is lay around all day and do nothing.

- Yeah, that's 'cause you do. - Oh, yeah?

Well, what would you say if I told you that today

I did the laundry, vacuumed the carpets

waxed the floors, rearranged your closets

and took time out to prepare dinner?

Oh, Joey, I'm proud of you.

I guess I owe you an apology.

- Ah, forget it, Roc. - No, no, no.

What can I do to make it up to you?

Well, usually money doesn't make up for the hurt

but I'm hurting for money.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

And if I were working by the hour, I would've made

near 100 bucks.

- A 100 bucks? - I'll take 20.

Yeah, here you go.

- I guess you earned it. - Thanks, Roc.

Hello, night harness racing.

Hey, sweet...

Oh, Eleanor, you look tired, baby.

Oh, baby, I am.

Dinner will be ready in a minute.

I was just upstairs rearrangin' the closet.

Did laundry, washed and waxed the kitchen floor--

Joey!

♪ Them that's got shall have ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ So the Bible says ♪

♪ And it still is news ♪

♪ Mama may have ♪

♪ Papa may have ♪

♪ But God bless the child ♪

♪ That's got his own ♪

♪ That's got his own ♪ Them that's got shall get ♪

♪ God bless the child ♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ Them that's got shall get ♪

♪ Them that's not shall lose ♪

♪ Whoa ohoo whoa ♪

Have a drink. Hey, greetings, bar flies.

Hey, pop, it's nice to see

that they've done some redecorating in here, huh?

Oh, you're talking about that woman.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Circa 20s, I believe.

My favorite period for bar furnishings.

Ah, she's a pretty young thing.

You gonna need all the luck you can get.

Pop, luck has got nothing to do with this.

See, the secret to success with women

is to always be prepared.

Now, if you'll excuse me

I'm gonna go buy that young lady a drink.

Uh, pop, can you loan me some money?

Thanks, pop.

Hi, I'm Mr. Ray.

- Oh, really? - Uh, yeah.

And you've been looking for me.

I'm Joey, can I get you a drink?

Uh, no thanks, the other bartender already got me one.

Oh, I'm not workin' here.

Neither is that tired line of yours.

Oh, y-you thought I was trying to pick you up, didn't you?

Well, forgive me if that's the impression that I gave you

'cause, uh, I didn't mean it, honestly.

However, if you'd like me to, I'd be more than willing--

Look. Why don't you just go bother somebody else?

Well, honey, I can't. There's nobody else here.

- Everybody's taken. - So am I.

I'm just waiting for my boyfriend.

I probably should've told you that right off

but, uh, I didn't know you were slow.

Ouch! Okay, got it. Got it. No hard feelings, eh?

Okay.

No, okay, honey, don't worry, I'll be right back.

- Uh, Joey. - Huh?

Didn't you just die an ugly death over there?

Au contraire, Mr. Fix-It.

That was very much a love thing going on there.

Oh, yeah, well, she just told the last three guys

that she was waitin' for her boyfriend.

Hey, Wiz, what can I say.

When you've got it, you got it, right?

She's crazy about me.

Charlene's. Wiz speaking.

Hold on, I'll ask.

Attention, everyone, is there a Celia Miller here?

- Oh, yes, that's me. - Whoa.

Hello. Yeah, Martin, where are you?

I've been waiting here.

What?

But, Martin, I don't understand.

Couldn't we talk about it?

Alright.

Goodbye, Martin.

Oh, hey, now, don't do that.

Whatever you're upset about couldn't be that bad.

You wanna bet? My boyfriend just broke up with me.

Oh, well, if he's gonna be that way

I think you should just stop seein' him.

That's more like it.

Listen, why don't you sit down and dry those pretty eyes

and forget about him?

Here, take this.

By the way, I'm Andrew Emerson.

- I knew that. - You did?

It's written on your hankie.

I'm Celia Miller.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Notice how that hankie absorbs those tears.

Yeah, wicks away the moisture.

Yeah, that's Egyptian cotton for you.

Uh, Joey, how do you do it?

How come all the women are so attracted to you?

Well, grasshopper, it's, uh...

...it's not just one thing.

See, it's the whole concept of Joey, see.

When a woman meets me, she's not just meeting me

she is meeting a total package.

You know, an amalgam.

The charm, the wit

the wisdom, the whole gestalt.

See, if you know who you are, then they know who you are.

See, Wiz, you gotta, you gotta be grounded J.

Yeah, well, you may be grounded

but your old man is takin' off with the girl.

Well, there's a simple explanation for that, Wiz.

See, uh, she's just usin' him to get to me.

Oh, I-I-I didn't get that.

Well, you oughta get out of the bathroom more often.

- What you doing, Joey? - What, what, what?

What? I was making sure the street lights were on.

I maean, we wouldn't want any old people like, for instance

uh, pop, to fall down in the dark

and break a hip or somethin', now wouldn't we?

Oh, now, come on, Joey, admit it.

You were lookin' out for pop to get home from another one

of his date with Celia, weren't you?

I don't know what you talking about.

You know, it really bugs you

that he got the girl and you didn't.

Oh, hell no.

Okay, fine, alright, alright, alright

I-I admit it it did bother me a lil' bit at first

but then I realized the situation, I mean

come on, let's face it.

Pop is a very attractive man, right?

And he's warm and distinguished

and I'm sure she enjoys his company.

You're right and I think it's nice for him

to have a nice friendly relationship like that.

You know, a companion.

Yeah, and he's havin' a good time

he's doin' somethin' else besides

hanging around the house and playing dominos.

'He's going to the museums, the movies.'

- Theater, concerts. - Race track, the strip joints.

Oh, I'm sorry, that's me.

- Hi! - Hey, pop!

So, daddy, how was your evening?

Oh, it was wonderful as usual.

We went out to dinner tonight. Seafood restaurant.

Yeah, I had the dover sole.

Celia thinks I should have more protein in my diet.

Oh, it's nice that she's lookin' out for you, pop.

I think she sound like a nice, sweet, young lady.

Yeah. And then we went for a walk on the pier.

But it got a little chilly, so we ducked into

this little hotel coffee shop

had some hot chocolate and a cannoli.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah, then we paid the bill

and since we were already there, we got a room.

- A room? - Hmm.

Now, you don't mean...

Nah!

Yes, son, we made love.

Come on, pop, you gotta be kiddin'.

Oh, yeah? Got you some of these little soaps.

Eleanor, got you a little mending kit.

- Daddy, how could you do that? - They expect you to take it.

Hey, wait a minute.

You guys don't have a problem with this, do you?

Well, yeah, you know, I think it's a little weird.

You didn't think this was just a platonic relationship, did you?

- Well, yes, I guess we did. - Yeah, yeah.

I admit it started out that way.

But there was a strong physical attraction.

And I couldn't break her heart.

- Hey, I have needs too. - Oh, pop, please.

The last thing we need to hear--

I can't believe

you kids are reacting this way.

Daddy, you right and we're sorry.

I mean, after all, you're both consenting adults.

And besides that, we practice safe sex.

Pop, at your age, no kind of sex is safe.

- I beg your pardon. - 'Oh, now, pop.'

Come on, now, be honest.

You're old enough to be her father.

Oh, that ain't true.

Her father's only 47 and a nice guy.

- You know her father? - 'Yeah.'

I met him tonight when I saw Celia home.

Yeah, Mamie and Tom are a lovely couple.

Yeah, and they seem really happy for us too

when we made our announcement of our engagement.

Wh-wh-what you say?

We're getting married.

Well, goodnight, kids.

♪ Here comes the bride ♪

♪ Here comes the..♪

How far is she gon' take this just to get to me?

♪ Whoa-ooh whoa-ooh whoa ohoo whoa ♪

Well, that's it. Listen, I tried to talked to him.

- It's no use. - What did he say?

He said his mind is made up

he's goin' through with this wedding

and there's no use trying to talk him out of it

because he's a grown man and he can make his own decisions.

- Where's he now? - He's upstairs.

He can't decide whether to wear a belt or suspenders.

Man, I can't believe this is happening.

I know, it's hard to imagine pop gettin' married again.

Yehah, hey, hey, maybe she's marrying him for his money.

- Yeah, right. - What're you talkin' about?

- Pop doesn't have any money. - Oh, yeah, well...

Maybe she's marrying him for your money.

- Yeah, right. - Yeah, yeah.

What're you worried about, Joey, her cuttin' into your share?

Okay, you see, th-that really hurts, Roc.

But you remember, blood is thicker than water.

I think they're both rushin' into this thing too fast.

I know, she's even comin' over here

to talk about their wedding plans.

Roc, are you positive you couldn't

talk your daddy out of doin' it?

Well, I tried my best, Elli, but you know pop

once his mind is made up about something.

Yeah, he can be as stubborn as... well, as you.

Alright, alright, then there's no way around it, right? Okay.

Celia's on her way over here, right?

We gotta try and talk some sense into her.

Good idea, Joey. Eleanor, you talk to her.

- Me, why? - You're a woman, communicate.

Roc, what am I supposed to say to her?

Please don't marry my father-in-law?

I knew you'd think of something.

- That takes care of that, huh? - Yeah.

- Get that door. - Got it.

I'll get that.

It must be my lovely fiance.

Oh, what a wonderful word, fiance.

Fiance.

Now, kids, Celia's my lady.

So remember, I don't care

how you feel about this situation or me

but when she comes in here

I want you to treat her with the utmost respect.

Sure, pop. Respect, we got it.

Come to papa, peaches.

Ho!

Oh, Celia, honey, I'd like you to meet my family.

This is Roc, my son.

And his beautiful wife, Eleanor.

H-hi, nice to meet you, peach... I mean, uh, Celia.

- Hello, Celia. - And you know Joey.

My youngest.

Uh, present company excluded.

Uh, Celia, sweetheart

I need a few more minutes to get ready. Do you mind?

Oh, I'm sure she doesn't mind, pop. Y-you go ahead.

Take your time. We'll keep, um, Celia company.

Oh, that's fine. You can get to know each other.

After all, Celia's gonna be your step-mama soon.

What a guy.

Well, um, Celia, would you like a drink or something?

Oh, no, thank you. I'm fine.

It's so nice to finally meet you all.

I've heard so many wonderful things about you.

Yeah, th-th-that's nice.

Well, um, Celia

w-why don't you and Eleanor sit down and talk, u-um...

If you'll excuse us, we've got some, uh

regrouting to do in the kitchen.

- Come on, Joey. - Uh, yeah.

I'll go heat up the grout.

Well, Celia.

Um, that's a lovely outfit you're wearin'.

Really brings out your eyes.

So they expect you to talk me out of marrying Andrew, huh?

And those shoes, those are cute.

Hey, convincing Eleanor to talk to Celia was pure genius.

We sure dodged a bullet on that one, Roc.

If anyone could handle a situation like this

it's Eleanor. Celia won't know what hit her.

They don't call Eleanor the velvet hammer for nothin'.

Well, she's probably dropped the axe by now.

- Come on, let's go in. - Let's wait another 30 seconds.

For it to cool off in there.

Girl.

Eleanor...

- Did you tell her? - Tell me what, Roc?

I-I didn't get around to it?

Um, Celia...

...Roc and Joey think you're way too young to marry their father.

Isn't that ridiculous?

The velvet hammer, huh?

Is that true?

Yeah, Roc, is that true?

Well, look, Celia, um

I understand you have genuine feelings for my pop

but, uh, yo-you've only known him a short while

and I think you're rushing into things.

I mean, you really don't know anything about the man. Huh!

Did you know he was a porter for 35 years?

Thirty six.

Okay, I'll give you that one.

And before that he sold encyclopedias door to door.

Really?

- I didn't know that. - I didn't either.

Well, anyway, h-h-how can you marry a man

you've only known for a few weeks?

Roc, you only knew me for three weeks when you proposed to me.

Will you work with me here, Eleanor?

Roc... Roc, I love your father and he loves me.

Well, what about the children?

Well, we haven't talked about having children.

No, no, his children. Us. Huh?

I mean, this is embarrassing. I mean, people are gonna talk.

Oh, Roc, I don't even know how you can say that.

You've always been so proud of bein' your own man.

And you've never let anybody else tell you what to do

or what to think.

Yeah.

Well, you've barely started your own life

I mean, h-h-how are you gonna take care of his?

Just because I'm young

it doesn't mean I can't love your father

as much as someone his own age.

Maybe more.

I-I think I can make him happy.

And I desperately wanna try.

Uh, C-Celia, I-I don't like it.

I don't like it at all.

I know how much you and your brother mean to your dad.

You guys are the most important things in the world to him.

But if it's gonna tear this family apart...

...I'll just walk away.

- Oh, no. Dear. - Well, I'm ready.

I guess you can see why I'm crazy about her.

Well, Andrew, I think Roc has something to say.

Welcome to the family, mom.

Anyway, I thought we'd sit Celia here

and then her parents over there, and at least

that way, we can discuss the wedding plans over dinner.

Yeah, j-just remember, I'm working with a budget.

So just make sure you keep everything

small and intimate, okay?

Chill, Roc, the bride's parents pay for the wedding.

Shoot the moon, pop.

What's on your mind, daddy?

Oh, I don't know.

I guess I was thinkin' about your mother.

Feelin' a little guilty about all this?

Well, at first.

But life goes on.

And you know, I think if Loretta were alive

she'd be pleased.

I think if mama were alive, she wouldn't be too pleased

about you marryin' another woman.

You know what I mean.

I think she'd have liked Celia.

Oh, I'll get that.

It's probably Celia and her parents.

Celia, you look beautiful.

Uh, where's Tom and Mamie.

Uh, they're not coming, Andrew.

They're still gonna pay for the wedding, aren't they?

Not coming? Why not?

- Uh, Andrew, we need to talk. - Oh, Roc, Joey,

Uh, you wanna give me a hand in the kitchen?

Ah, no, stay.

Now, if we're gonna be married

I don't want any secrets from my family.

Now, what is it, Celia?

I can't marry you, Andrew.

Hit the kitchen, kids.

No, no, no, stay, please.

I owe an explanation to all of you.

Andrew, Martin called me tonight.

Martin? Well, what the hell did he want?

Me. He wants to marry me.

Well, so do I.

He won.

Oh.

Look, um, I see now, that I fell into this thing

with you on the rebound from Martin.

I guess I never really stopped loving him.

But thank you for being there, Andrew.

You're a wonderful man.

And that's it?

But you said you was serious about marrying pop.

And that you wanted to make him happy

and I stood up for you, girl.

Yeah, and I called you mom.

Yeah, that was cool.

Oh, that's Martin. He's waiting in the car.

Goodbye, Andrew.

Bye, Celia.

Well, let's eat.

Pop, you okay?

Hell, no. I just got dumped. What's the matter with you?

- You know, I'm sorry, pop. - I am, too.

Ah, thanks, kids.

I guess I should've expected this.

I mean what would a beautiful young girl

want with an old codger like me anyway?

I was thinking the same thing, pop.

What're you agreeing with me for? I just got my heart broken.

Yeah, I'm-I'm sorry for jokin' around, papa.

I mean, you must be really upset, huh?

Well, I'm not gon' stand here and tell you this doesn't hurt

it does... a lot.

But for some strange reason

even the pain I'm feeling right now

makes me feel more alive than I felt in years.

Celia woke up feelings in me I thought were dead.

It don't matter how it all worked out

I'd do it all again.

Oh, that's a wonderful attitude, pop.

And besides how often does a father

get to steal a girl from his son?

Once.

And anyway, she needs to be with her young fella.

And just knowing she'll be happy makes me feel good.

Oh, daddy, Celia was right. You are a wonderful man.

And she made a big mistake lettin' you go.

- That's right. - Ah, kids.

Well, where's that dinner?

Oh, I'll get that.

Hi, I'm Martin, Celia's fiance.

You're Celia's fiance?

Yeah. She left her purse here.

There it is.

Are you Andrew?

Tough break, kid.

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Keep on walking on ♪

♪ Oh lord ♪

♪ Oh yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah well well well ♪

♪ Oh good God now ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Whoa whoa ♪

♪ Keep on walking on ♪

♪ Oh yeah walk on ♪

♪ Yeah ♪