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Okay, let's catch up
our listeners. So you might remember
2
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:17,350
that, against all odds,
3
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:20,603
the Prophet and I fell in love,
and we became an adorable couple.
4
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:23,231
Then, at a very fun bat mitzvah
for his niece,
5
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:25,233
I freaked out and broke it off with him.
6
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I was actually being very selfless,
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putting his career over my own happiness.
8
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,823
Anyway, he ran after me
in a very romantic way.
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It was as if I planned the whole thing,
but I swear I didn't.
10
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,453
And now we're making it work.
11
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We're actually… We've made it work.
We're an amazing couple.
12
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:44,502
Anyway, I am in a big, beautiful,
healthy relationship
13
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:47,922
with a real-life adult man,
and I think it's solid enough for me
14
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,341
to stop using a nickname
when I talk about him.
15
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:53,678
Whoa, okay, we did not discuss
this. Um, also, sorry, is it that solid?
16
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,014
I feel like you guys have a lot
you haven't figured out
17
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,058
that's very important.
You know what I mean?
18
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Okay, you… you will understand,
Morgan, when you are in love.
19
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We are living in the present.
Not the past. Not the future.
20
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-Oh, that's a foul! That's a foul!
-Yes!
21
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Number eight grabbed it out of his hands.
Major flag on the play.
22
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It's okay. They're allowed to do that.
They're allowed.
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That's stupid.
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Anyway, his name is Noah,
25
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and he's a rabbi.
26
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Yes, you heard that correct.
He is a rabbi.
27
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And what else? We're in love.
28
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Breaking news. You're in a psychotically
annoying relationship.
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Way to make
all our single listeners feel bad.
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No, this relationship is inspirational.
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I am dating a man who has
glass water carafes next to his bed.
32
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Mm. I wonder when the other shoe
is gonna drop, and what it will be.
33
00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:40,266
Ah, the mysteries of life.
34
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,938
Hey. I'm going over my notes
for this weekend.
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I'm gonna make the pomodoro,
you're making the cucumber salad,
36
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:50,652
and then Ryann's boyfriend
is gonna bring appetizers?
37
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:53,154
Uh, one appetizer, yes.
38
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:57,492
Uh, but they're these, like, fancy little
cheese balls that will change your life.
39
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,452
Great. Writing it down.
40
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,039
Okay. Here we go.
41
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,041
All right.
42
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:06,376
Are you ready?
43
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,794
Oh yeah. Just do it.
44
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,215
-God!
-Oh.
45
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:14,384
-Damn it. Those toes are cold.
-Yeah.
46
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,885
Can I please put socks on you?
47
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,680
No, because then I'm gonna get too hot.
You know?
48
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,473
No, I get it. That's logical.
49
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:21,850
Hold my hand.
50
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:26,020
I'm saying a relationship isn't solid
until you're out of the honeymoon phase.
51
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,522
We are out of the honeymoon phase.
52
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:30,191
What? No you're not. You've been together
for, like, five minutes.
53
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,526
The real test is, you know,
54
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,028
when you merge your lives
and you blend your friends.
55
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:36,823
That's what we're doing.
We're hosting our first dinner party,
56
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:39,951
which you're invited to, by the way,
and you still haven't RSVP'd.
57
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,078
Okay. I'm RSVPing right now. Calm down.
58
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,205
Right now, this here, this is my RSVP.
59
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:48,209
Okay? Also, first dinner party, huh?
It's, like, a lot of pressure.
60
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,588
Can you please stop
poking holes in my story?
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00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,549
Okay? I'm unveiling my relationship.
I am trying to stay positive.
62
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:58,219
Noah has put almost everything
he cares about on the line for me.
63
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,514
Okay. Wow. Clearly,
I struck a nerve.
64
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:07,353
Anyway, um…
His name is Noah.
65
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,523
-Love a hand lotion, don't you?
-Yeah. Of course.
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00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,070
Yeah. Just…
67
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:20,033
You do like how I updated my room, right?
68
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,369
The woman at the store
said it was masculine minimalist.
69
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,706
So sweet.
70
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:28,875
-You can be talked into anything.
-Mm-hmm.
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00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,586
No, I like it.
72
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:32,921
-I have my system.
-Yeah.
73
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,881
♪ Hold on till the end… ♪
74
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:36,549
I like your system.
75
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,219
My system? My system is very complicated.
76
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,845
Oh, I think I've…
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00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,764
…figured it out a few times.
78
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:48,853
♪ No one can make a wish
That's better than this, yeah ♪
79
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:52,690
Oh.
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00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,318
Noah. Come on in. Have a seat.
81
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:58,238
Thanks for seeing me.
I won't take up too much of your time.
82
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:00,531
Just wanted to come in
and clear a few things up
83
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,118
because, um, you know, this opportunity,
84
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,621
it's my dream job.
85
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:09,832
That's what I was thinking,
and then you went a little MIA,
86
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,125
as the kids would say.
87
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:15,296
-Well…
-The temple chatter has a lot of theories.
88
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,423
I don't listen to it,
89
00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:19,634
but I hear it.
90
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:23,221
Okay. And you're referring to Joanne.
91
00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:25,598
Love is crazy.
92
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,141
Yeah.
93
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:30,019
My girlfriend in college,
she kept telling me
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00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:33,022
that she was going to stop taking walks
with her high school sweetheart,
95
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:38,152
but in the end, she was cheating on me
with him the whole time.
96
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,197
And I married her anyway.
97
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,617
That doesn't seem… Judy?
98
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:47,078
-Your current wife, Judy?
-Yeah.
99
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:52,250
Okay. Well, listen, like I was saying,
Joanne is going to convert.
100
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:55,044
You know, she just wants to do it
on her own timeline, and--
101
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:58,089
As she should,
but it is a very difficult decision.
102
00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:00,508
Sorry to interrupt.
103
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:04,929
-I have your lunch, Rabbi Cohen.
-Oh.
104
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:07,056
Also, Rabbi Noah,
105
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,560
glass carafes by the bed
is king shit. Slay.
106
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:13,354
Huh?
107
00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:18,026
Joanne talked about them on the pod.
My uncle has those at his house.
108
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,068
He's gay.
109
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:22,989
Hm. Hm.
110
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,663
-Is that Chardonnay? I hate Chardonnay.
-You hate Chardonnay. Ah, see?
111
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,332
That is why we are bringing this.
112
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,751
For the love of my life
only drinks Sauvignon Blanc.
113
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,463
And this is a joke Chardonnay that Noah
and I regift every couple of months.
114
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:41,341
Oh, I'm familiar. Maybe no bits tonight.
Leave it in the car.
115
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,843
-Okay.
-Is the, uh, sister gonna be there?
116
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,514
-She'll probably be there.
-Don't even think about being nice to her.
117
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,516
-Of course not.
-Don't even say hello to her.
118
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,434
I'd never do that.
119
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:55,188
But don't completely ignore her so
she thinks we had a conversation about it
120
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,565
and I'm threatened by her,
because I don't care.
121
00:05:57,648 --> 00:06:00,526
Maybe just, like, say hello or…
No, that's too nice.
122
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,988
Like, just say hello, and then that's it.
Just be done.
123
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,198
Okay, yeah. No, 100%.
124
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,407
-That makes sense.
-Okay.
125
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:10,119
And there's, like, nothing there.
You know, we were just texting dumb stuff.
126
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,746
-Right.
-We were just having fun.
127
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:13,998
You think she's fun?
128
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:15,875
You have fun with her?
129
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:18,628
No. No, no, no. I do not think she is fun.
130
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,004
She is not fun.
131
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:22,340
This is fun.
132
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,469
There is an art
to throwing a great dinner party,
133
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,221
and seating is the foundation.
134
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,431
-Do you know what the second part is?
-No.
135
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:31,432
-Lighting.
-Mm-hmm.
136
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,226
Would you like to handle lighting?
137
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,688
Moi? I would be honored.
138
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:41,067
When Morgan and I go to parties
or weddings and we're not seated together,
139
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,276
we just switch the name tags.
140
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,114
You don't actually do that, do you?
141
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:49,117
I… don't do it anymore, no.
142
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,077
-Good.
-Not since you looked at me like that.
143
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:55,206
You think it's gonna be weird having
Morgan and Sasha and Esther all together?
144
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:56,999
No, I think it's gonna be fine.
145
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,752
This is gonna be great.
It's gonna be great.
146
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:03,047
-Okay.
-Okay, I'm on lighting.
147
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,632
This is 20%,
148
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:05,716
50%,
149
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,094
70%.
150
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,347
Yikes, that's an airport bathroom.
Okay, no.
151
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,265
You know what?
152
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:15,184
I should just make an executive decision.
You're right. Right?
153
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:18,646
-Hey, yeah.
-Uh, question for you.
154
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,818
Did you make fun of my water carafes
on the podcast?
155
00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:24,735
-What?
-Yeah.
156
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,780
Did I make fun? No.
I was bragging about your water carafes.
157
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,116
Of course. Okay, great.
158
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:33,828
Uh, well… Look,
I don't wanna censor you or anything,
159
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,873
but maybe no personal stuff
160
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:38,666
about me on the pod?
161
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:39,959
Okay, yeah. No, got it.
162
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:42,003
I didn't think
water carafes were personal.
163
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,465
They're not. I guess they're not.
164
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:47,842
-Okay.
-Okay. Sorry.
165
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,927
All right, carafes are back on the table.
166
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,762
Love it. Our first guest.
167
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:53,973
Hey.
168
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,349
Spencer dumped me.
169
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,185
-Oh no!
-Oh no.
170
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,479
Is that what you're wearing?
171
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:00,396
No.
172
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,023
Oh, Ryann, I'm so sorry.
173
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,025
Oh, that's terrible.
174
00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:07,653
Oh, did he do it
after he made the cheese balls or--
175
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,489
No. He did it this morning.
176
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,658
Just completely out of nowhere.
No warning.
177
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:13,868
-No warning?
-No warning.
178
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,704
Are you sure there wasn't anything
that you did or didn't do?
179
00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:19,290
'Cause sometimes you can be…
That's not important. You know what?
180
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:22,627
I know what you need. Shots.
And just not even think about this.
181
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,045
Just tonight, have fun, okay?
182
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:27,798
No, thanks. Maybe find a place to lay down
so I can be around people.
183
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,217
-I'll get the tea.
-Okay.
184
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,259
Okay.
185
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,678
Um, this is our first dinner party
as a couple.
186
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,473
There's a lot riding on it,
so I need you to lighten the mood.
187
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,350
I feel like you're not hearing me.
188
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,355
Wanna borrow something to wear?
189
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:44,315
Hello.
190
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:45,233
-Hey.
-Hi.
191
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:46,984
Good. You two are still together.
192
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,529
-What? Why would we not be together?
-That's not what I meant.
193
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,113
Just a thing with some other guests
194
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,741
who are no longer in the running
to be our favorite couple friends.
195
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:55,243
Great. You and I are in first place.
196
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,453
There you go.
Esther, wanna be my best friend?
197
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,913
-No, I'm all set.
-Okay.
198
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,624
-Ow! You just shut the door on me!
-Oh my God.
199
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,125
I'm sorry. I didn't see you.
200
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,795
-Come on in.
-Wow, that's quite an outfit.
201
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,549
Oh. What? What? You told us to dress up.
202
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,925
-Uh-huh.
-Mm-hmm.
203
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,177
It's fashion.
204
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,471
Sorry, I didn't bring anything. I, um…
205
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,889
I don't do that, so…
206
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,350
Hi.
207
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:20,351
Hi.
208
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,021
Hi.
209
00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:27,441
Hello.
210
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:31,279
Is… I'm sorry. Are you guys ignoring me?
What's going on?
211
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,280
No. No, I'm not…
212
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,782
I'm not… I'm not ignoring you.
213
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:35,700
-Okay.
-I'm not…
214
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,662
You know, there are just ti…
There are just times when
215
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:44,333
people sometimes
look at a situation from many…
216
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:45,751
Yes.
217
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,212
I was talking to somebody
about that the other day.
218
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,673
-Okay. Yeah, we're gonna have a talk.
-Okay.
219
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:51,966
-Me?
-Sash.
220
00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:53,634
Whore number two, let's do it.
221
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,552
A chat.
222
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,682
-We should follow them and listen?
-No, we let them figure it out.
223
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,934
-Exactly what I was thinking.
-Yeah. Okay.
224
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,815
All right. Well, okey dokey, artichokies.
225
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:08,816
Let's go.
226
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:12,153
-You're gonna stand up the whole time?
-No, I'm gonna…
227
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,070
Okay.
228
00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:16,616
Oh, this is fabulous. What?
229
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,830
I just wanna say that I'm in no way
prepared to have a threesome.
230
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,165
-In what world?
-What?
231
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,584
Not how I thought this was gonna go.
I… I could do it.
232
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:30,046
In what world do you think
this is the threesome I would initiate?
233
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,881
-Neither of you would be involved.
-Agreed.
234
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,507
Wait. I wouldn't be there?
235
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,719
This is not a threesome.
This is just a conversation.
236
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,221
Well, most threesomes
probably start with a conversation.
237
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,475
I have literally never started a threesome
with a conversation, but…
238
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:44,518
-You don't lay down ground rules?
-I… Okay.
239
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,312
How many threesomes have you been in?
240
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,688
-Lenny!
-Good to see you.
241
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,231
-I fucking miss you!
-Good to see you.
242
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,026
-I like this. This is very good.
-Yeah, I thought it was good.
243
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,653
Who's here? Give me the lay of the land.
244
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,489
Oh, just a casual gathering of friends.
Let's see.
245
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,824
There's, uh, Esther and my brother,
of course.
246
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:02,995
Joanne. Um, Ashley will be coming.
She's a lesbian, so not for you.
247
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:06,999
Ryann is crying on the floor.
And, um, Morgan.
248
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,209
Morgan.
249
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:09,126
Morgan.
250
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,336
I like that name.
251
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:12,421
So this is a setup. Dude, I love you.
252
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,839
It's not a setup.
253
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:17,468
It's just friends and two single people
sitting next to each other at dinner.
254
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,887
And if sparks fly, it's out of my control.
255
00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:23,307
Look, I don't know what weird stuff
went on between the two of you.
256
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:26,852
I don't know what, but I'd like to say
that I'm deading it right now.
257
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,479
No. Nothing happened.
258
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:31,857
I'm gonna be the judge
of what is something and what is nothing.
259
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,610
I saw all the text messages.
260
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:35,653
Mm.
261
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:37,988
Okay, we're just friends.
262
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,741
I mean, we were friends.
We're not friends now.
263
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,660
But we were at one point,
but now we're not.
264
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:44,537
Well, it did get a little bit weird.
265
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,914
And I told him it was weird.
266
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,749
-You agreed that it was weird.
-Sasha?
267
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,335
-Yes, I agreed that it was weird.
-That's what I thought.
268
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,254
-Yes.
-But nothing happened.
269
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:55,381
-This woman means nothing to me.
-That's true.
270
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,966
She is nothing.
271
00:11:57,049 --> 00:12:00,469
-Literally, at her core, she is nothing.
-Wow. Great. Okay, rude.
272
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,430
-No, I didn't mean it like that.
-You didn't?
273
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,932
-No, I did.
-You… Okay.
274
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,892
I'm sorry. I'm not great with conflict.
275
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:10,020
Okay, I'll just make it, like,
a little bit easier for all of us.
276
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,858
I am your wife, and I'll just decide
who you're friends with.
277
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:14,859
-Great.
-Great.
278
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:18,738
So here's what I think happened.
I think whore number two--
279
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:22,366
-You can just call me Morgan, it's--
-It's a term of endearment at this point.
280
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:27,288
Sure, Morgan, you saw your sister,
like, all loved up in a new relaish,
281
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,498
and you got a crush
on the hotter older brother.
282
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,125
-Yeah.
-Classic.
283
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,335
It's not even the crushing that I hated.
284
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,756
It's really more the laughing together
and the inside jokes,
285
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,799
and I just need to remind everyone,
286
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,468
I am also fun.
287
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,972
Oh, babe, you're the most fun.
288
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,725
Okay, I just have to say that, um,
289
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:52,021
I've never seen you be fun,
but I'm really looking forward to it.
290
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:57,067
And I just have to say
that this was a fucking warning,
291
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,694
and I'm really good at revenge.
292
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,363
Okay. Fun.
293
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,282
That was fun.
294
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,325
-Hi.
-Hey.
295
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:05,493
-Oh, hey.
-How are you?
296
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,660
What's goin' on?
297
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,829
-Hey, what's up, bro?
-What's good, bro?
298
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:10,706
-I'm gonna…
-Hi.
299
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,958
-What's your name?
-Morgan. Yeah.
300
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,507
Sure, I'd fuck her.
301
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,801
Nope, don't love that. Can't do that.
302
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,303
-Um, mm-mm.
-I meant it as a compliment. She's hot.
303
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,388
I understand,
but she's my girlfriend's sister.
304
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,723
Do you think you can be serious?
305
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,768
I need to plant deep roots
in the ground with Joanne, right?
306
00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:34,396
And we gotta merge our worlds together,
and you being with her sister,
307
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,731
that'd be so great.
308
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:36,982
-So great.
-Okay.
309
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,651
-Yeah, take a deep breath.
-Okay.
310
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:40,694
You ever hosted a dinner party before?
311
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:41,862
-You're right.
-Yeah.
312
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,073
-You're right. You know what? It's casual.
-It's casual.
313
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,534
-Don't overthink it. Have fun.
-Don't overthink it. Yeah.
314
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:47,535
See you in there.
315
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,162
Hey, how'd it go? What happened?
316
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:52,790
I don't know, man. It got sexual.
317
00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:54,959
That's all I'm gonna say about it.
318
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,383
♪ Tell me the truth, boy ♪
319
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,468
♪ Am I losing you… ♪
320
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:07,555
Assigned seats? That doesn't feel casual.
321
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,932
♪ We used to kiss… ♪
322
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,518
What? My name's not even
the same color ink as everyone else.
323
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,854
Fine, you weren't originally invited,
okay? Get over it.
324
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,147
-The disrespect. Hi, I'm Ashley.
-Hi.
325
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,899
I'm sort of the glue of the group.
326
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,318
Oh, that's cool. I'm Lenny.
Noah and I ball together.
327
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,945
Why do guys have so many hobbies?
328
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,906
Uh, ball's really more of a lifestyle
than a hobby.
329
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:29,702
Totally. We have hobbies because we refuse
to accept the chokehold of adulthood
330
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:31,871
that continues to strangle us
every single day.
331
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,498
-Preach.
-That's not why I play. I'm an adult.
332
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,792
-It's… It's too much.
-I'm gonna need something stronger.
333
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:37,877
Yeah, it's intense.
334
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,338
Ryann, do you want me to get you
a plate of food? Or maybe I can feed you?
335
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:45,342
That's really nice, but I…
I think I just need to lay here
336
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:49,138
and sort of replay everything over
and over in my head until it makes sense.
337
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,556
Do what you have to do.
338
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,766
♪ Tell me the truth, boy ♪
339
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:56,979
♪ Am I losing you for good? ♪
340
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,689
-Thank you.
-I think…
341
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,983
-Oh my God, really?
-No, I actually…
342
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:05,070
I get mistaken for Zooey Deschanel,
like, twice a week.
343
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:09,992
I was in Beverly Hills the other day,
and this paparazzi was like, "Zooey!"
344
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,410
-I was like, "I'm not…"
-What?
345
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:13,913
I'm sorry. Don't get mad.
I… I just don't see it.
346
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:17,958
I'm not always mad, Ashley.
Jesus, I'm also very fun.
347
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,836
-She's fun.
-You know what I think happened?
348
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,256
I think that he saw me
taking the hair out of my hairbrush
349
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:28,344
and balling it up and throwing it away,
and I think that really grossed him out.
350
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,429
-We're eating.
-I shouldn't have done that.
351
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:34,266
-Morgan, how tall are you? Like, 5'10"?
-Oh, no, I'm, uh… I'm 5'9", so…
352
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:37,227
Oh, that's cool. Were you tall as a kid
and felt kind of awkward about it?
353
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,438
Oh, no, not at all.
I didn't have an awkward phase.
354
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,732
I was always very cool
and very pretty, so, yeah.
355
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,901
-That's cool. No, that's great for you.
-Sorry.
356
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:46,320
Does anyone know which of these dips
go with this?
357
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,782
-I feel like the green goes well…
-Look at our worlds. Merging.
358
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:50,741
That in there?
359
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:53,285
-Mix all three.
-I did get my finger in there.
360
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,995
-It's a pesto.
-Trust it.
361
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,247
So you're converting to Judaism.
362
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,624
Welcome to the tribe.
363
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:01,418
Mm.
364
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,672
No, we're gonna do
the whole, like, interfaith thing.
365
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,091
Uh, well…
366
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,135
I mean, I think we agreed
to table it for now,
367
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,554
and then you would decide
in your own timeline.
368
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,891
Right? I totally respect that.
I think that's very cool.
369
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:20,104
Maybe it's because I called his mom "Mom"
and not your mom.
370
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,398
I mean, I'm not his fucking sister.
371
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,358
-Yeah, that's the one.
-That was it.
372
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:28,487
I didn't think we tabled it.
I thought we… we took it off the table.
373
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,075
Off the table? Oh. Oh, okay.
374
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,077
-Yeah, is that not--
-No, as in never?
375
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,413
You guys wanna sidebar this
until after dinner or…
376
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:40,666
-Did we have two different conversations?
-It seems like we did.
377
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:43,627
-What else could you have--
-Joanne, I think you need to pee.
378
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,671
-Do you need to go to the bathroom?
-Yep.
379
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:48,257
And we're going. Come on.
380
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,348
We're done. That's it. It's over.
381
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:59,101
Okay, but how right was I
about the other shoe dropping?
382
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,603
-Morgan, this is my real relationship.
-Okay, sorry.
383
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:04,648
How could we have been on such
different pages about that conversation?
384
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:09,111
I don't know. I mean, I honestly sort of
thought that you guys had tabled it too.
385
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,155
Morgan, do not repeat that.
386
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,240
-Okay.
-Jesus.
387
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:16,952
We're done. Okay. Well, I guess
I should've seen this coming.
388
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:19,413
Joanne, you're being dramatic.
389
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:22,916
The honeymoon phase is over.
Now the real relationship starts. Okay?
390
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,547
Okay, listen.
I have to tell you something.
391
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,674
But I have to give you a warning.
It's not about you.
392
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,384
-Okay?
-Okay.
393
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,387
Sasha said something earlier.
He told me I was nothing.
394
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,681
Why would he say that?
I'm not nothing, you know?
395
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,808
Wait, who cares about Sasha?
Focus on Lenny.
396
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:41,810
Wait, who's Lenny?
397
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,771
The guy sitting right next to you.
398
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,733
Oh my God. Oh my God. Joanne.
Is this a setup? Are you kidding me?
399
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:51,153
The adult man in a vest?
Come on. I am so out of his league.
400
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,988
Mm, maybe that's a good thing. You know?
401
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,824
Maybe he'll become obsessed with you.
Don't you wanna be worshipped?
402
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,659
I do love being worshipped.
403
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,288
Wait, I wanna see the little shelf
next to your bed that you pile stuff on.
404
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,540
Not now. Everything's falling apart.
405
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:06,085
Oh my God. Jesus.
Where are you going so fast?
406
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,836
I've gotta tuck in my shirt.
407
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,880
This playlist is sick.
408
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:13,717
What? This playlist is horrible.
Okay, changing the vibe.
409
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,553
♪ It feel good
Waving your hands in the air… ♪
410
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,138
-Unexpected.
-Okay.
411
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:21,225
♪ Yeah, yeah, uh, ye-ye-ye-yeah… ♪
412
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:24,311
-Could somebody fix the lighting, please?
-I knew it was wrong.
413
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,063
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah… ♪
414
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:27,564
It's good.
415
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,109
I'm just not afraid
to be the only one dancing.
416
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,819
That is me. Fun.
417
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:33,445
So fun.
418
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:34,947
Look at you.
419
00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,073
-Yeah, right?
-Wow.
420
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:38,325
-Okay, that's my cue.
-Yeah, save yourself.
421
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:39,409
Are you leaving?
422
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,996
-Mm-hmm. It was nice meeting you.
-Okay, so, um…
423
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,290
♪ If you did it then
Then you'd probably… ♪
424
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,375
Well,
425
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,586
do you, uh, want my number or…
426
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,880
Oh. No, it's all good.
I'm sure I'll see you around.
427
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,007
-Oh.
-Yeah, right there.
428
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,342
Yeah. Cool.
429
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:58,053
-Thanks for having me. Nice to meet you.
-Same.
430
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,055
Young and wild and free, baby.
431
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,182
Okay, I got excited
about the pie though.
432
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,100
Okay.
433
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,560
♪ You really are a gem, baby girl ♪
434
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,019
-Hey, can we talk?
-Mm-hmm.
435
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,313
Yeah, sure. Let's get this over with.
436
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:11,358
This is bad.
437
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,861
Well, yeah, it's not great. Uh…
438
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,906
So when did you decide
that you're just never converting?
439
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,701
-I don't know what to do with that.
-I didn't… You… I just…
440
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:22,786
I thought you said I choose you, so…
441
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:26,665
-I do choose you. But I was just--
-But… But only if I convert?
442
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:33,463
I mean, look, it's not a rule.
I was just hoping
443
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:37,843
it would be something
you would want to do eventually.
444
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,054
And if you don't, then, I…
445
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,600
I don't know.
It really complicates my life.
446
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:53,233
I can't decide
if it's what I want for myself
447
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,321
with that pressure on me.
448
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:58,363
I know.
449
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,490
I know.
450
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,124
Are we doomed?
451
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,628
Excuse me?
452
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,005
You're not allowed to…
No. I'm the cynical one.
453
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:16,924
I say stuff like that.
454
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:19,134
When you say stuff like that, it's scary.
455
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,719
Well, it is a little scary.
456
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,266
Where did that come from?
457
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,769
♪ Cold sweat, hot-headed believer ♪
458
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:29,686
Oh.
459
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,148
Well, I saw you kept building
that tower of all your stuff,
460
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,733
so I got you a nightstand for it.
461
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:38,028
I mean, it doesn't really
go with the room, but…
462
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:40,030
Are you kidding me?
463
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:41,823
What? Is it weird?
464
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,408
Are you kidding me?
465
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:44,910
-Noah!
-Yes.
466
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:46,954
-Are you kidding me?
-Oh, you like it.
467
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,538
Noah!
468
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:52,626
It's the most romantic thing
that anyone's ever done on planet Earth.
469
00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:56,255
You got me a nightstand for my tower.
470
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,840
♪ It takes me all the way… ♪
471
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:01,802
I mean, who even thinks of that?
472
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:03,887
I do.
473
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:07,516
I just want you to be happy.
474
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:10,811
I am happy.
475
00:21:10,894 --> 00:21:13,480
♪ …of a life you're living… ♪
476
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,400
I don't wanna deal with this.
477
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:18,151
I don't wanna deal with it either.
478
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,445
♪ …something you take… ♪
479
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,739
Let's just enjoy being together.
480
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,157
Okay.
481
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,368
-Okay.
-Okay.
482
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:28,287
♪ Round and around and around… ♪
483
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,997
We will have to eventually.
484
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,331
♪ …we go… ♪
485
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:35,294
Not today.
486
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:39,673
♪ Tell me now, tell me now
Tell me now, you know ♪
487
00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:43,802
Hey. Sorry, I'm a little early.
488
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:46,763
Oh. No problem. Please sit.
489
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,143
You know, after that conversation
we had the other day,
490
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:52,936
I had some clarity.
491
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,438
Great. Great.
492
00:21:54,521 --> 00:22:00,736
And I felt like what we really need
is a new guy in my place ASAP.
493
00:22:01,903 --> 00:22:02,946
Wow.
494
00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:03,989
Okay.
495
00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,240
Sorry to interrupt.
496
00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:08,327
Oh man, is it…
497
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:12,080
Is it happening right now?
I'm so sorry. Apologies.
498
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,457
Is what happening?
499
00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:14,374
Uh…
500
00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:18,170
These things are not supposed
to unfold this way. Please.
501
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:21,381
-Rabbi Noah Roklov, meet Rabbi Noah Field.
-Hi.
502
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:22,632
Nice to meet you.
503
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:24,593
He's Temple Chai's new senior rabbi.
504
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,180
I'm sorry.
505
00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:30,140
Wait.
506
00:22:30,974 --> 00:22:32,059
Did I just get passed over?
507
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:35,062
No offense, Noah,
but one day your girl's converting,
508
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:36,938
the next day she's not converting.
509
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:41,026
Who the hell knows?
I think people just wanted a… safer bet.
510
00:22:41,109 --> 00:22:44,613
Excuse me, how do you even… Wait.
We talked about my timeline dilemma.
511
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:47,157
We agreed to put a pin in it.
I don't even understand.
512
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:51,286
-There's a whole process with the board.
-Noah is someone with a lot of buzz.
513
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,413
We've been eyeing him
since his sermon went viral.
514
00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:55,415
-This is a competitive situation.
-Went viral?
515
00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:57,334
We have to act fast.
516
00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:00,212
My socials are on fire.
517
00:23:00,295 --> 00:23:02,547
It was Hot Ones.
That's what really did it for me.
518
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:07,010
Noah, you will always be
an important part of Temple Chai.
519
00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:08,845
But we can't have a whole congregation
520
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:12,057
waiting to see
if your girlfriend is going to convert.
521
00:23:15,977 --> 00:23:16,812
I…
522
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:21,191
I need to change my lunch order.
523
00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:26,113
-You two get to know each other.
-Thank you, Rabbi.
524
00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:29,783
You don't remember me, huh?
525
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:32,536
We don't know each other.
526
00:23:32,619 --> 00:23:35,205
We had two summers of crossover
at Camp Haverim.
527
00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:36,164
You don't remember?
528
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,166
I was color war captain,
two years running.
529
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:39,126
Blue team.
530
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:43,505
Everyone called me Big Noah,
and they called you Little--
531
00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:44,548
Okay.
532
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:47,217
I kind of remember you. I…
533
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,302
I didn't recognize you.
534
00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:52,764
For the record, I think
only two people called me that,
535
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,349
and you tried to make it stick.
536
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,060
-Sorry, I didn't mean to trigger you.
-I'm not triggered.
537
00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:58,562
'Cause you seem a little worked up.
538
00:23:58,645 --> 00:24:01,606
Actually, I think I'm being very calm,
given the situation.
539
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:03,942
-Likewise. That's very nice to hear.
-Rabbi Noah?
540
00:24:04,025 --> 00:24:04,985
-Yeah?
-Yeah?
541
00:24:09,781 --> 00:24:13,076
♪ If it's easier to be ♪
542
00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:16,037
♪ Alone than be with me… ♪
543
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,122
How'd it go?
544
00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:20,250
♪ I love you just the same ♪
545
00:24:21,042 --> 00:24:22,377
♪ It's fine ♪
546
00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:26,089
♪ No, don't cry ♪
547
00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:29,468
♪ I'm still on your side ♪
548
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,847
♪ I'll piece myself together ♪
549
00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:38,351
♪ When I fall apart ♪
550
00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:44,858
♪ Homesick, with nowhere to go ♪
551
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:52,449
♪ Can't kick this feeling
Everything that I miss ♪
552
00:24:52,949 --> 00:24:59,456
♪ And I will love you wherever you go ♪
553
00:24:59,956 --> 00:25:01,875
♪ I know ♪
554
00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:06,463
♪ Leaving wasn't easy ♪
43178
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