Original subtitles

Why are you home so early?

Oh, man.

Well, my date did not go as planned, let's just say.

What happened?

Oh, God. First, I'm out of breath.

I was running.

What?

Oh, God. Let me catch my breath.

So, basically, I ran all the way home from this date.

Okay. I was terrified.

Why? Well, you know, we're at the movies or whatever.

And then she's trying to get me to take her to the parking lot, so I'm cool with

that, right?

Is it like her car or something?

Yeah. Okay.

So we're in the car, and she's like, you know, we're doing shit, right?

Yeah. And she wants me to eat her out.

Oh, good for you.

You think?

Yeah. I ran home.

Fill my chest.

That was not good.

So I go down there. And did it smell or something? Like, why did you run away?

Did it smell?

Did it have a breath matter?

No, it didn't smell.

That would have probably been a little better. No, I go down there.

Bald.

I've never seen bald before.

Like, bald eagle bald. Like, no feathers. Bald.

So you don't like shaved women, is what you're saying?

I guess I just never experienced it. I don't know.

It scared me.

It's weird.

Okay, well, I mean... Like those little baby dolls you used to play with?

Oh, my God, yeah.

They're kind of weird.

Yeah. Well, I mean, not everyone can... I mean, everyone

shaves. Some people don't. It's normal, so...

So, I didn't mess up your shower or anything?

No. No.

Just lotioning up.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Trying to keep it on.

Whoa!

Damn! It's not like you've never seen me naked before.

Where did you grow the bush?

You used to look like those little baby dolls you played with.

Oh, my gosh.

Did you like that?

No.

What did that girl do?

I don't know. When I was younger, I guess. I never changed.

You look like Blue Lodge right now, man.

Maybe you should take care of that in your room.

But your room's so much better than mine.

Do you want to watch?

No, why would you want to watch? Why would I want to watch you jerk off?

Because we're not related.

Come on.

No, but you're my stepbrother.

And you said put it in the box, throw it away, never bring it up, and just bring

it up out of the box.

One time.

Yeah, we did go through this one time before, but we decided, remember, not to

do it again. But then you grew a bush, and it kind of changed the rules.

Oh, my God.

You want to watch? No, I don't want to watch. I don't want to watch you jerk

off.

Would you like to help me?

No help?

So, uh, you know what Jack and Joan is?

No, what is that?

Basically, we just both jack off or whatever.

I guess I jack off, you masturbate, but we don't touch each other.

Listen, if you want to fuck me, let's just make it happen and not talk about

like last time.

Seriously? Yeah.

Put it back in the box?

The way?

Yes. Put it in the box. thrown away.

That's my best doggy

Thank you.