Original subtitles

We're dancing from town now, drinking some wine.

Look up in the heaven, Lord, at somebody's sign. Ripping fire across the

plain as black and white. Get prepared, oh, it feels hot tonight.

Oh, I'm a rig with a bass and all the animatronics. I'm a police.

Everybody gets packed. The rock's up. Now, play it on the fly.

Hurry. I'm hungry.

Let's eat.

There's nothing to eat.

Let's get stoned.

Stoned?

There's nothing around.

They smoked it all. The bums took everything again, didn't they?

That'll be my new penthouse.

Leave it to Frank. I'll ring it out later.

What?

What?

I found it. I smoked it.

Oh, jeez.

That mouse was in the toilet.

Where's that cat?

Fucking cat.

No good.

The whole damn place stinks of cat.

Essence of cat.

Frank, you want to drown that cat of yours?

You need to get the goddamn thing fixed.

Oh, yeah.

It's not bad. We got to clean up the actor on here. I don't know. This is too

much. That's not bad.

I like that.

I'm really hungry. Say one. Oh, yeah. Isn't it about time?

Maybe Sadie upstairs will front us another kilo of grass. You know what she

about that?

She said no more fronts until we pay off the last one. Besides, she's probably

having trouble making her own rent.

Oh, man.

Hmm.

Stuff looks poor.

A little Colombian.

That'll make me happy.

around later to collapse.

Rick, those freak brothers better come up with some front money.

That's it.

How long have they been hanging me up?

Jobs!

Jobs! That's it. We've got to find jobs.

Where did that paper go? Did you see my boot?

Here it is.

Did you see my boot? I didn't see it.

Don't go on it. Here we are.

Administrative assistant.

What's that mean?

Hey, have you seen my book?

Uh, no. I haven't. Assistant bookkeeper.

Biker.

Biker. Biker. Biker.

Biker. Biker. Biker. Biker. Biker. Biker. Biker. Biker. Biker. Biker.

Biker. Biker. Biker.

Biker.

Check it out.

Hey check it out.

Check it out.

Check it out.

Hey check it out. Check it out. Check it out.

Hey check it out. Check it out.

I don't know what I'm going to do with you two.

I can't believe it. Everyone else in my sales force is selling these things like

hotcakes.

And, you know, you got everything you want to have with this morning.

Now, listen.

It's simple.

The easiest way to sell these products is to sell me, Mr. Natural.

You know, in two weeks, I'm going to be 82 years old, and I'm fit as a fiddle.

Everybody knows me.

And for the last 20 years, I've lived only on the vitamins that I sell in this

store and that you sell out on the street.

Everyone can be like Mr. Natural.

And you know, at one time, I had a heart disease.

And I had a cancer in my leg.

And I had a syphilitic infection that was all over my fucking body.

But look at me today.

What's your problem? Have you got any excuses?

I don't want to hear them.

I don't want to hear excuses.

Wait outside.

I never did like sales talks anyway.

I know you're doing your best. Hell.

Anyway, I think it's about time to do what comes naturally for Mr. Natural.

Oh,

Mr. Natural.

We've been working for you for such a long time. Would you, uh... Well, is the

door locked?

And it drapes closed.

And it's okay.

Oh, yeah.

You're sure the door is closed?

Just you guys can take a lot of my vitamins, huh?

Looking good.

Okay, first off, if you could get a job, what kind of a job would you like? What

kind of a job? God, if I could get any job, painter must be experienced,

references, and reliable.

That's painter. I'd like to be a painter.

You don't think you could do something like that right now, do you?

I've never painted anything in my life, except with the spray can on walls.

It's not important.

Follow me.

You see that little trick?

See this?

Yeah? Whenever I feel that I'm not like 100 % together, when I just don't quite

have it, I come over here and I stare in this mirror.

I look myself right in the eye and I go, Confidence.

Confidence.

Confidence!

Confidence! And then I gut.

I can lick the world.

Now you're going to try.

Start off slow.

It's kind of foolish.

No, no, no, it isn't. You start off slow because it'll build up too fast.

Confidence.

Confidence.

Confidence.

Confidence.

Go right down there.

Take that right in your mouth.

I'm okay now.

That was 20 years ago that my body was riddled by syphilis.

I told you to wait outside.

brothers that there's more than one way to skin a cat.

There's more than one way to box a lamb.

Hey, hi, Bill. Check it out. Come on in.

Check it out. Hey.

Check it out. Check it out. Hey,

check it out. Check it out.

Check it out. Yeah.

Hey. Yo, check it out.

Mr. Freak, we look nice today.

Thank you. You have the rent money, and so soon.

Boy, you're early on topic. Actually, I came down to talk about things other

than rent. Please sit down.

Thank you.

I don't know if I've ever told you this, Dolores, and I'd prefer that you call

me Frank.

But my brothers and I have often thought that you cut a fine figure of a woman.

Why, thank you.

And actually what I came down about was to see if there isn't some possibility

of perhaps talking about this little rental property. I knew you didn't have

money. No, that's not it. That's not it. In fact, I'm on my way to a very large

business deal in about a half an hour.

I thought maybe I could just stop in and we could talk a little. Oh, I see.

Because there just hasn't been enough talk between the tenants and the

management of this building.

The one thing I think is too much distance between the...

The people that live here and the people that run the building.

And I, for one, would like to narrow that distance.

Girls, that feels good.

One at a time, girls. You know the way Mr. Natural likes it.

And we get on and on and on.

then you take it.

All right, you take it for Mr. Natural.

The vitamin is due for you.

Take it all in there.

All of it. All of it.

Okay.

Now both of you can take it.

Both of you again.

I didn't know.

Dolores, if you knew how many nights I laid awake wondering what you really

like.

Oh, tell me more.

I see you once a month. You come in, you take the rent, you leave, and I'm in

agony for hours afterwards.

Oh, poor baby.

So many times I've wondered what lays beneath these garments.

See, those brothers of mine are real slobs. They don't have the culture I do.

see. They don't appreciate the finer things.

Well, maybe you would like to lay beneath these garments.

Well, as a matter of fact, Alois, that brings me to the point of my being here.

You see, much like yourself, I'm a very cultured person, and I could tell right

off the bat that you were a cultured broad, a cultured lady.

I knew that.

I think that in the future, we're going to have a very equitable rent

arrangement here.

I see.

If you catch my drift.

I hope you don't mind if I remove my kettle. No, please make yourself

comfortable.

Who is it?

Vinnie, this is my name.

Painting's my game.

Oh, I see. Hi.

Just an ad for the painter.

Which one were you? I had a couple of them call.

Well, I'm the one that you want.

Oh. The best.

Oh. I'm the best. Oh, my God. We've got to do a... Look at these cracks. We've

got to spangle these things.

I just want to know how much... Listen.

Moon... Rise, moon, set.

Phineas Freak, finest painter yet.

Oh.

That's cute, but... Well, maybe we should take a quick off. Maybe we should

about this a little bit. I mean... Not much time for talk. This is going to

quite a while.

This is going to take a while?

Yeah. Oh.

Well, maybe... Why don't we just sit down and discuss it? I mean, we just sit

down and have a cup of tea.

I'm not sure what I want yet, you know?

Well, the first thing to do is the spackle.

You know, most guys wouldn't do all the spackling. You really need this. What's

all that stuff?

This fills in the cracks.

You've got to have this. Oh, you have to have that? Yeah.

Otherwise, the cracks will show.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Well, ooh.

It's so gooey, you're going to get it all over your hands, though. No, no,

all right.

Part of the job.

Don't you think it's going to get a little hot in here with your shirt on?

it's true.

Are you sure you have to put all

that glue on the walls? Yeah.

Look, I do all the decorating in my tab.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Do you have a girl?

Well, I have two partners that I live with. Oh, yeah?

Looks like you're doing a good job.

Oh, you'll love it.

A little here, a little there.

Go in these cracks.

Good.

Oh, here. You can help me. Take it. Take it. Here.

Well, I was thinking maybe you could help me.

Back to the first one. Back to the first.

That's it. Oh, yeah. Take it all in there.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you again. Back to... Okay.

Okay, cool. Now let's get down to some real natural, cool -fashioned screwing.

All right.

Keep it right down on this table.

All the way down here.

I want a little closer to Mr. Neckle.

Mr.

Neckle.

like this is the only building or anything that you have but with the wall

street people and the other people i know we could probably like i could help

you with some of the investments and things here and so that make a lot more

money and and also this this is kind of a tacky building

and uh and this uh

we could get you know there's the things that we could do we could find people

to finance buildings on a

Places like that.

I like to live by.

I like Great North.

You are so sweet, Lambie.

I think I'm

going to leave my socks on.

My socks.

That was natural once. Do a little switcheroo for another natural position.

Naturally.

You come up here.

You lay down on your side.

Just because I was natural.

Was it good? Well, you did okay.

Can we set this down?

If you can make a couple of sales today, that'll really be good.

Look at that natural product that I put out there.

Just like my vitamin.

All right, get your clothes together, girls. Get your clothes together and

out in the field. Sell the product.

Don't forget to be back at 5 o 'clock sharp.

Be sure you come in the... Girls, don't forget. Be sure you come in the back

way, please.

But, Snatcher, let me do it next time, please. Let me be the one to do it.

All right, if you sell enough product today... I will. I promise, I will.

I've got to get this place cleaned up.

Get back to work.

The business office.

I can't tolerate these constant interruptions on my time.

Come on up.

Come in. Come in. I'm a busy man.

Are you Mr. Natural?

A fellow said you had some work, you know.

Of course I'm Mr. Natural. Don't you recognize me?

Well? Speak up, young man. I mean, a lot of people get tongue -tied when they're

facing Mr. Natural.

I want to get a job. A job, you know.

Job? Yeah.

You think you can handle a job?

What's your name?

Uh, uh, Freddy.

They call me Fat Freddy.

Fat Freddy? I hate fat people.

Where did you get this card?

Oh, you know, the dude on the street.

You think you can do that? Oh, man, I can do it. I can...

Let me see you do it.

Check it out. Check it out. Check it out.

It's not bad.

Not bad, Freddy.

I'll tell you what.

I'm going to give you a chance, Freddy.

You take a couple of these cards here.

You pass them out.

One to a person.

Just a second, Freddy.

And I want you back here an hour before sundown.

Hold still, Freddy.

And if you've done the job properly, I'll consider paying you the sum of

$30.

30 beans.

30 beans. Hold on, Freddy.

If you fuck up, Freddy, you don't get a penny.

That's the way Mr. Natural works.

One to a person. One to a person.

Gotcha.

Ready?

Don't forget, an hour before sundown.

Okay.

I hope the kid can handle it.

A little fat.

Maybe he can work off a little of it.

Lady, why'd you knock me down?

Now, look, what I need here is not so much a painting job. Now, do you

understand, or do I have to knock you down again?

But if that spackle dries, it'll crack, and then I won't be able to finish the

job today, and I've got to finish before sundown.

Listen, honey, I don't think you understand.

I don't need a painting job.

This is what I really need.

You mean I don't have to paint? I'll still get paid? You'll still get paid if

you do a good job.

Damn!

Now, let me just take your pants off.

This pays as good as the painting job?

Terrific.

This will be the first job I've held down for more than two hours.

Can you hold it for two hours?

That remains to be seen.

Good stuff.

You are one notorious landlady.

Just imbue me with confidence.

Oh, yes.

I feel so good.

once you get back down anyway. Like this.

Yeah.

I really like going up like this way.

I figure the landlady gets down on me, I can get down on the landlady.

I do have to see those stockbrokers pretty soon, so...

I'll reach down and grab it.

Ow!

Oh, my

God.

I do have to get down to Wall Street.

I'm going to have to split.

God, I hate to.

In a rush like this, we've only been able to do this a whole lot of times.

We've got no problem on that.

You do understand that... I'll tell you this, though. I'm going to go to Wall

Street right now. When I get down there, I'm going to finish off this

transaction. I know there's no big deal about the rent anymore. As far as that

goes, it probably will happen in a week or so. You do understand.

that the rent has to be in the sundown or you will be evicted.

I thought that, uh... Oh, shit.

Good day, Mr.

Frank.

Yeah. Good day, Mrs. Lowney.

Check it out.

Remember to hire the vet.

I'll give it to him. He'll paint me all over.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, I wish I hadn't waited so long to paint my room.

Who is it?

Brian.

Jesus Christ, it's you.

What is this? It's so funny.

I never saw you. What's with this suit, man? You look crazy. Don't worry about

the suit. I've got a problem.

Say, you've got to give us a front.

We've got to have another front. One pound. One lousy pound. We've got to

it. If we don't, that crumpled man is going to throw us out of here by

And that's it.

She's got bullshit. She's throwing us out. You haven't paid for the last front

yet. There's just no way.

There's just no way. You've got to come up with some bucks for this thing.

Oregano? It is. It's oregano. You're cutting your shit with oregano. If you

don't give us the front, I'm telling everybody.

Who's that?

Who is it?

It's your landlady.

Shit. From your landlady, then you're getting the hell out of here. You go out

the back door.

Hello,

Lord. Hello.

I've done it slowly studying in the West, and I'm here to collect my rent

Dope, baby.

You see the good dope I got. You know I'm good a little bit fast.

I've always done it before.

Have I ever let you down?

Have I ever once not given you what you had coming? No.

Not yet, no.

got passed through under the

Now we're speeding along.

This is a good position for me.

For maximum penetration.

Wow, that was fantastic.

Oh, baby.

Now for the 30 buckolas.

Well, first you have to do the painting.

Painting? Yeah.

I thought I got the 30 bucks for this. No, now you have to do the painting.

Lady, that's not what you said.

That is what I said. You came here to do the painting. No, $30 is for the other

thing.

No. But, uh... We'll just consider this even -steven.

Wait, stop!

Finn! Finn, stop!

Remember Pinion.

Hmm.

Okay, Sadie.

That'll buy you a couple more days.

I still need the rent.

You're a hard woman, Dolores.

But those are freak brothers.

Downstairs.

Directly under us. They gotta be out by sundown, and that's that.

Check it out.

We're going back to selling dope. Not one damn sale today.

That's right. We can't sell this stuff.

Easy with the merchandise, ladies.

Nobody wants this.

I'm losing faith. I'm tired. Yes.

I thought your natural product was supposed to work and get people to buy

Sell and sell. Of course my product works. Do you see a syphilitic sore on

whole body? You're damn straight to work. I don't know. People don't believe

that. Listen to me, girls. Listen to me. I should probably spend the time giving

you a complete sales pitch at another sales meeting.

To hell with it, Stedley.

Let's get down to the natural way of life. All right, ladies?

I'll be that fat kid again.

Wait outside.

Do you remember what I told you before?

Yes. Do you remember what I explained to you carefully?

We remember.

Do you understand this fully? Yes, yes.

All right.

Get outside.

Okay. Don't forget the plant.

Okay, we will.

Be careful of the product.

Okay.

All right, Freddie, come on in.

Hey, Mr. Natural, I did it. I got rid of all of them.

Fred, that's wonderful.

Thirty bucks.

Wow.

Fred, of course you're entitled to thirty bucks, but a fool, only a fool,

take only thirty bucks. You've earned a lot more than that, Fred, and I'm going

to see that you get it, because you're entitled to it.

I have here the most potent

vitamin ever known to mankind.

Yeah, but I just want my 30 bucks, you know. And I'm thinking, I'm considering

giving you three of these, Fred.

It's an incredible value worth much more than 30 dollars.

Be gentle with them, Fred.

These are VitaBeans. Listen, I just want 30 bucks.

Easy, Fred, easy.

VitaBeans, I said.

Do you know the significance of those beans right there?

These are incredible things, Fred.

Just the presence, of these and women in the same room. I don't know. I just

want my $30. Fred, hear me out. Fred, these things, the aroma

from these things, drive women mad, just into a sexual frenzy.

I just want my $30. Fred, they don't work on men, Fred. They work on women

single time.

Just give me my 30 bucks, okay? I said I work on women every single fucking

time.

Come in.

Mr. Mantra.

Oh, well, hi, girl. We forgot to pick up opportunity and incense.

Oh, that's too bad. I'm sorry you forgot. I'll get you some in just a

That smell.

That scent.

Didn't I tell you, Fred? Didn't I tell you?

Right here.

See you later, Fred.

You've earned every penny of it, every penny.

I can't control myself.

I

gotta

get a beer.

Phyllis' t -shirt, I don't think it'll do shit.

We gotta get a better class of people here, because... These fucking cigarette

butts. they throw in here.

They got no clamps, so they cannot even get a decent drink.

Look at that.

Slabs. We get nothing but slabs here.

I'm never going to get a full beer out of this.

Frank! Hey!

Confidence! Put it here! You got it? Yeah!

You know that painting job? Remember that? Yeah.

Well, she wasn't going to paint me. She wanted to get it on. Yeah. Well.

I told her first.

30 bucks.

What else is in there?

Some change.

Banaca. What's this going to do for us? Our rent's due.

Hey, well with that 30, with Freddy's money, and with what you got for sure,

we'll have enough to go upstairs and get that front from Sadie, pay her cash,

and we'll be able to pay the rent and make some dinner on the side.

How much did you make, Frank? You usually come through with the most.

Where's Freddy? Where's Freddy with his money anyway?

Well, how much did you get? Where's Freddy?

Who is it?

It's Mr.

Natural!

Well, hello, Mr. Natural. I sure am glad to see you.

I got people waiting in four counties for that organic oregano and that fresh

parsley that just nobody else has like you do.

I'll bet they're waiting for it because I know it's the best in the country.

I can always depend on you, Mr. Natural. You always come through for me.

I guess I don't have to put on airs with you.

You know me.

Can the beard, Mr. Natural, already.

This is... Homegrown.

Natural.

The best.

You can count on Mr. Natural.

And Mr. Natural can count on you.

The cash, please.

Well, actually, I don't have the cash that I know that you want me to put in

your hand because you see, Mr. Natural, those idiots downstairs won't pay me. I

fronted him some a while ago and I'm still waiting for it and I got rent to

And it's, um, do you understand I'm just kind of short on bucks?

Mr. Natural only understands one thing. That happens to be hard cash.

Yeah, but Mr. Natural, you know, you could, like, maybe front it to me.

a, that's, you could front it to me.

Mr. Natural, you don't understand.

Mr. Natural never fronts anyone.

Yeah, but Mr. Natural, you know, that's not, cash isn't everything, and, um...

I think we could work out another arrangement. We could work out another

pay for it.

Like a little snatch, Mr. Natch?

Chugging, got my chips cashed in.

Keep chugging, like the do -dog man.

Together, all this in line.

Just keep chugging. Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, yeah.

Arrows of the internet flashing markings on the main street.

Chicago, New York, St. Clair, and it's all on the same street.

The typical city in Baltimore, the typical daydream.

Very, very happy.

Open up in there.

All right, five minutes, that's all. I'll be back in five minutes, and you're

out if you don't have the rent money.

Most of the cats that you meet on the street speak of true love.

Most of the time they're bitten and crying at home.

One of these days, they know they gotta get going.

Out of that door and down to the street all alone.

Judging like a doodah man.

Once told me you got to play your hand.

Sometimes the cause is worth the time.

30 bucks.

What's that going to do to me? You're a faggot.

Look, when Freddie gets to do it, the money worked all day. Now we're going to

have the money, all right?

Let's get going with this because Freddie's going to have the money. We've

to have confidence.

She's going to be back in five minutes.

and the flashy marquees on the main street.

Chicago, New York, Detroit, and it's all on the same street.

The typical city involves a typical daydream.

Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings.

Dallas, got a soft machine.

Houston, you close to New Orleans.

New York, got the waves and beams and just won't let you see.

We're here in five minutes, and we've got to be ready to go.

We've got to be ready.

I've got the beans.

You've got the beans. You've got the beans.

Man, you wouldn't believe this shit. Real beans?

What about money?

It's wild.

The smell of it is driving me to heart. You wouldn't believe it.

You've got what?

Yeah, but what's the money? What's the money?

You don't need money for this. This is how you get laid like a bandit. Five

minutes for the fucking rent. It's crazy.

Well, maybe find the beans.

She's coming in five minutes and you get these goddamn beans.

Beans?

Beans? What are we going to do? What are we going to do?

Confidence. This isn't going to work.

Confidence.

Confidence.

appreciate this.

I mean the front. The front and me, the parsley.

I got so many problems with those guys downstairs.

Those idiotic freak brothers. They won't pay their bills. They owe me money.

They never have anything.

Especially that stupid fat one, Freddy.

Fat one?

Freddy? Sort of an oafish fellow with an IQ about the size of a strawberry?

That's it. That's Freddy.

Oh, Freddy.

I guess I was a little hard on him.

I didn't know he was in such circumstances.

Do you know these guys?

Yeah, you know, this sounds like a job only Mr. Natural can handle.

My dear, my robe and my beard. Get everything.

Get everything.

There we go.

Hey. Hey.

Toast. We're gonna eat again. Right.

Now you schmuck. Give me back.

What are you doing?

Pat, pat. We gotta go.

We gotta go. We gotta go.

We gotta buy that. We gotta buy that. The beans work. What are you talking

about? The beans work.

They work. What do you mean the beans work?

Who's that?

Who is that faggot? Oh, this is my friend, Mr. Natural.

Oh, I meant him in a gay bar.

Who is that? Oh, me, Mr. Natural.

Mr. Natural Hilton?

Mr. Natural? You mean...

Those beans, they really work?

Well, three brothers, not exactly.

You see, I had Fat Freddy take those VitaBeans and grind them up and put them

your landlady's coffee.

I have a feeling she's going to be tied up for about a week.

Hey! Hey!

Any more?

Hey, Mr. Natural.

Hey. All right. Wow, terrific. All right. Hey, yeah.

I'm releasing some tunes, man.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Fat Freddy, play some tunes. I can't believe this is working out. Yeah,

month with no rip. We're going to release this, boy.

What's going on?

I can't shit in my headphones.