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1
00:00:00,134 --> 00:00:03,602
♪♪
2
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,708
Well, I'm back from my
stupid Soul Spin job,
3
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,844
and I'm about to go
to my stupid diner job.
4
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:14,613
I hate it all,
I have minimum wage rage.
5
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,349
Hey.
6
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,852
What are you sad about?
You're making cupcakes.
7
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:22,388
Oh, did you eat the first batch?
8
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:26,225
No! Elliot and Alan's little
foster daughter's coming today,
9
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,527
and I'm making her cupcakes,
but all this talk
10
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,962
about a little girl without her mom,
11
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:31,130
it's making me miss mine.
12
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:33,665
Yeah, well, your mom
was very sweet and...
13
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,934
- warm and chocolatey--
- Take one.
14
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:40,806
Sometimes I wish I could just pick up
the phone and tell her that I love her.
15
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:43,008
You know what? I am gonna call her.
16
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,043
Who?
17
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,210
My mom.
18
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,813
Gabi... your mom passed away
five years ago.
19
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,181
You know she's not gonna pick up.
20
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:51,150
Yeah, you're right.
21
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:52,151
I'm gonna text her.
22
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,585
Gabi.
23
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,155
I'm just gonna text
"I love you" to her old number.
24
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,257
There, I did it. Done.
25
00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,224
Do you feel better?
26
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,692
Well, I'd feel better
if she responded.
27
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,394
(phone dings)
28
00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:08,867
- Should I look?
- Yes!
29
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,169
No, I'm scared.
30
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,237
You look. No, no,
I'll look. I'm looking.
31
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,506
(gasp) "I love you
too, whoever you are."
32
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,641
(gasps)
33
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,180
- Should I tell them who I are?
- Yes.
34
00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:26,452
Okay, okay, okay. Um, this is Gabi.
Who are you?
35
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,420
- (phone dings)
- Peter Gabe D'Angelo,
36
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,782
- who's Peter Gabe D'Angelo?
- I don't know! I don't know!
37
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,225
Let's look him up.
38
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,594
Okay...
39
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,397
Uh, do you think this
could be Peter Gabe D--
40
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,165
Yes, please!
41
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,735
He freelances for Rolling Stone
and Spin!
42
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,538
(gasps) Oh my god. Sofia,
43
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:47,873
Do you know what this means?
44
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:51,276
My mom is setting me up with
my soul mate from heaven!
45
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:56,148
Okay, can you send her a text
and see if she can find me
46
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,431
a decent full-time job
that I feel passionate about?
47
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,222
Okay, fine, but when your mom
dies, she totally owes me.
48
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,791
(theme music playing)
49
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,429
♪ She's in the spotlight ♪
50
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,431
♪ And she turned my head ♪
51
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,166
♪ She'd run a red light ♪
52
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,101
♪ 'Cause she's bad like that ♪
53
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:19,104
♪ I like that, ooh, baby, ooh, baby ♪
54
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,756
♪ Baby ♪
55
00:02:20,757 --> 00:02:22,557
♪ I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby ♪
56
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,611
I'm loving today.
57
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,579
Alan and Elliot's
foster daughter gets here,
58
00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,481
my mom set me up with my soul mate,
59
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:33,418
and I finally have a reason
to shave above my knees.
60
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:36,421
Gabala, no offense but you're gonna
have to watch the dirty talk
61
00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:37,923
in front of our new little princess.
62
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:41,093
Yeah, she's only three.
Gabi, that's this many!
63
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,364
I hope Keisha likes princesses.
64
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,966
You better hope she likes queens.
65
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:52,271
Wait a sec... Does that mean
I have to watch my mouth too?
66
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,840
What about... drinking?
67
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,976
And the occasional tokedy-toke
of a smokedy-smoke?
68
00:02:57,978 --> 00:03:01,313
Relax. We're all here
to support you and Keisha.
69
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,182
I can't wait to spoil her rotten
the way my absent,
70
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:05,217
emotionally shut-down father
never did for me.
71
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,885
Not that I'm holding a grudge.
72
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,455
And she's gonna love her godmother!
73
00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:15,060
Oh, no! No, no, no!
74
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,296
Oh, yes! Get on the train.
75
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,498
We're gonna need all the help
we can get, sweetie.
76
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,134
Keisha's black, Yolanda's black,
black is the new orange,
77
00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:23,735
and orange you glad
we're getting a three-year-old,
78
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,737
and I'm freaking out!
79
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,539
- (knock on door)
- She's here!
80
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,809
I'll get it... No, you get it.
We should both get it.
81
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,679
Oh my god.
I've never been this excited
82
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,547
to meet a girl in my life!
83
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,317
Open the door!
84
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,388
Hi, guys, this is Keisha.
85
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,857
Damn, this place is huge.
86
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,526
Come in, angel.
87
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:50,662
Bat Mitzvah-aged angel.
88
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,332
I'm Alan, and this
is my husband, Elliot.
89
00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,901
Please tell me those two
are my foster parents,
90
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,570
and these are my funny, gay uncles.
91
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,273
(whispering) She has go to back!
She's a hundred!
92
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,775
(whispering) There's obviously
been some kind of mistake.
93
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,111
Why is there baby stuff everywhere?
94
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:09,281
Oh, I get it, you thought
you were getting a little kid?
95
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,083
- No-o...
- Yes!
96
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:15,220
Miss Higgs, maybe we should talk
in the other room.
97
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,089
So, uh, are you hungry?
98
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:19,458
Yeah, Gabi can make you
anything you want,
99
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:25,430
and remember, I pay her, so it's like
I'm making you anything... you want!
100
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,533
So, what do you want for breakfast?
How do you like your eggs?
101
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,470
In a "to go" box?
I'm not gonna be here long.
102
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,238
What do you mean?
103
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,607
Those two are gonna be just like
all of my other foster parents.
104
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,410
Why do you think they're in
there talking to Miss Higgs?
105
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:42,881
Well, maybe they're in there thanking her
for bringing them you, instead of some
106
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,317
sticky, whiny, germy three-year-old.
107
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:50,322
Aw, well look at you...
all white and cute and hopeful.
108
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:57,729
Gabi, maybe Keisha's godmother
should handle this.
109
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,467
Baby girl...
110
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:06,405
Don't "baby girl" me.
I'm not your baby.
111
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:10,108
You might be. I made a
lotta mistakes in 2003.
112
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:13,378
Okay! All right! I got this. Ladies?
113
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:19,484
How about a smart watch, tablet?
How about some blue chip stock?
114
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,320
Stop trying to impress me.
115
00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:24,562
There's no way queer eye and
the fat guy are gonna keep me.
116
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,593
- We're not keeping her.
- Elliot,
117
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:31,263
we can't just return her like she's
an ugly cardigan from J. Crew.
118
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:33,432
I knew you hated that present!
119
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,801
Look. Miss Higgs,
can I be honest with you?
120
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,336
We ordered a three-year-old!
121
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,004
Can I be honest with you?
122
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:43,308
A bi-racial middle-aged gay couple
is not on every kid's wish list.
123
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:46,611
And no one's knocking down
the door for 13-year-old Keisha.
124
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,380
I thought this would be
a perfect match.
125
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:51,483
- Nobody wanted Keisha?
- Don't go soft, Alan.
126
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,519
Miss Higgs, do you mind
giving us a moment to discuss?
127
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,122
You can wait right out here
on the lovely terrace.
128
00:05:57,124 --> 00:06:00,644
I don't have all day, I have
other couples to disappoint.
129
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,895
We're not keeping her!
130
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,630
Did you not hear
what Miss Higgs just said?
131
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:06,732
Nobody wants Keisha.
132
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,368
Of course not!
She's old and homophobic.
133
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,536
If we wanted that,
we'd take in my grandma.
134
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,005
Sweetie, I understand
you're in shock.
135
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,574
We didn't get
the three-year-old we wanted.
136
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,309
I didn't even want
the three-year-old!
137
00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:18,343
What?
138
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:22,147
I was going along with it for you.
139
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:25,517
I wanna spend my life with you!
140
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:29,254
Go on romantic cruises... with you.
141
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:32,924
Get plastic surgeries
to look younger... with you!
142
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:35,527
And I wanna do all those things
with you!
143
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:38,497
But I also wanna be a father
and have a family.
144
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:41,433
Come on. We can be the
parents we always wanted.
145
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:45,337
Open, accepting,
theater-camp friendly.
146
00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:48,440
Please, Elliot?
147
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,409
One week! We'll try it for one week!
148
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:54,045
- But if she does anything--
- She won't! We're havin' a baby!
149
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,948
A 13-year-old baby!
150
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,625
- (flatly) Ta-da!
- What do you think?
151
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,961
It looks like Tinker Bell
threw up in here.
152
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,897
I thought you people were
supposed to have good taste?
153
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,632
"You people"?
154
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,400
We can redecorate!
155
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:19,538
We're gay, Jewish and Asian. It'll
be stylish, cheap, and Feng Shui-ed.
156
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:21,907
Okay, time for bed.
157
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,609
Elliot, wait. We need to
get to know each other.
158
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,611
Keisha, I want you
to feel comfortable.
159
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:30,916
So if there's anything you need
or wanna ask us, go right ahead.
160
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:33,585
Where's the TV?
161
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,655
Oh, uh, we didn't put a TV
in your room.
162
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:39,257
But Alan got you one of these things
163
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:41,460
where you pull the lever
and it makes the animal noises?
164
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:44,162
Ba-a-a-a-a!
165
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:52,037
But... I can't sleep without a TV.
166
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,575
Of course you can't.
167
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,777
She can't sleep without a TV.
168
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:01,646
You know what, honey?
You can take our room tonight.
169
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,582
There's a TV in there.
170
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:06,318
What? What?
171
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,760
We'll just lock the second drawer.
172
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,623
It's the final night
of The Bachelorette
173
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,824
and I wanna know
who gets the final rose.
174
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,326
That's what a DVR is for.
175
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:16,194
But you have to watch
the finale live,
176
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,696
or everybody will know
everything before me,
177
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,564
and I won't get to see
the drama unfold.
178
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:25,670
It's okay. I don't need a TV.
I'll just cry myself to sleep.
179
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,641
Oh, she's good.
180
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:33,712
Okay. I know
this is a little uncomfortable,
181
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,481
but being a parent
is all about sacrifice.
182
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:39,484
Trust me, it'll be the most
rewarding thing we've ever done.
183
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:43,455
Keisha: Oh my god! She picked the
ex-con who works at the pre-school!
184
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,132
Good morning.
185
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,034
Hey! Just in time for breakfast.
186
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,471
Good, I'm starving. All they gave me
to eat was an onion-flavored donut.
187
00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:00,753
It was a bagel!
188
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:07,979
Keisha... why don't you go eat
your breakfast out on the terrace?
189
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,748
So you can talk about me?
190
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,050
- No...
- Your dude wife said we were supposed to be
191
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,418
honest with each other.
192
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:18,757
Fine, go outside
so I can talk about you.
193
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,696
Last night was a nightmare.
194
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,866
Alan and I were up till four in the
morning fighting about Keisha!
195
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,501
Why, what happened?
196
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:32,737
She took our bedroom and our TV, and
we had to sleep in the princess bed.
197
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,273
If the shoe fits...
198
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:40,178
Get ready to learn from the master!
199
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:44,783
I raised three kids.
And two of 'em still talk to me.
200
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,052
Can I have some bacon?
201
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,687
Oh, of course, baby!
202
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,690
And then maybe later
we can go to a movie,
203
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,191
and get some Chinese food, and ooh...
204
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,593
and then we can knock on the door
205
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,628
of one of my exes, and you can
scare the crap out of him
206
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,930
by saying, "Hey, Daddy."
207
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,101
- Pass.
- What the hell?
208
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,771
Hey-y, Keisha!
209
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,641
Look what your super cool
Uncle Joshy got you.
210
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:13,078
Your very own 3D printer, where
you can print any gift you want!
211
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,813
The only limit...
212
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,982
(breathy) is your imagination.
213
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,617
Pass.
214
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,252
See? She's impossible.
215
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,587
Honesty.
216
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,723
You're impossible!
217
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,792
Guys, she's not impossible,
she's a teenager.
218
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,961
If you want her to have fun,
just do something she likes.
219
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,463
Take her to mall and go shopping.
220
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:34,399
Now that's what I'm talking about.
Can I kick it with you?
221
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:38,403
Yes! Kick it with her!
222
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,572
Josh, is it okay
if I take Keisha to the mall?
223
00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:43,274
Is it? I'll tell you what.
224
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,677
Why don't you take my platinum card,
225
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,747
and get Keisha a nice jacket
that'll keep her warm on her...
226
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,749
hot air balloon ride!
227
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,717
Pass.
228
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:59,491
I'm telling you, every dress
you tried on looked poppin'.
229
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,092
I think I love you.
230
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,828
Well, it's probably 'cause you
have such a bangin' body.
231
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,330
Yeah, I know I love you.
232
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,799
You're the only one who does.
233
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:08,833
Oh, come on, Keisha.
234
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,603
Josh likes you. Yolanda likes you.
235
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:12,704
Alan likes you.
236
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,472
- Elliot--
- Doesn't.
237
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,541
Yeah, but Elliot doesn't like
anybody at first.
238
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:18,777
When he first met me, he hated me.
239
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,779
But now...
240
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:23,882
Well, this story's going nowhere.
241
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,384
Look, I get it. I'm 13, annoying,
and I got a big mouth.
242
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:27,485
Everyone says so.
243
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,621
Yeah, but that's how teenagers
are supposed to be.
244
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:31,956
Hey, when I was your age,
I was a total nightmare.
245
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,792
- Yeah, right.
- No, I was.
246
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,860
I cheated on tests,
I snuck out to see boys,
247
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:36,995
I had a fake I.D.
248
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,863
What'd you do, use it to buy booze?
249
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,366
No, I actually just wanted to
go to this dance club in Tampa,
250
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:44,069
but you had to be 18 to get in, so...
251
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:49,174
I went to a smoke shop, and boom.
Zora Martinez, nineteen, Scorpio.
252
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:53,311
Well, you gotta know your sign,
'cause bouncers are gonna ask.
253
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,814
And they didn't ask
about the "Martinez"?
254
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:58,850
They did and that's how I got busted.
255
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,886
I got grounded for two weeks.
But my mom understood.
256
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,589
She even showed me her fake I.D.
from when she was my age.
257
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:05,857
She was cool like that.
258
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,358
You two still close?
259
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,993
Well, she passed away.
260
00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:10,829
That sucks.
261
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,731
My mom's dead too.
262
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,567
Oh, Keisha, I'm sorry.
Do you still talk to her?
263
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,002
I just said she's dead.
264
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,672
I know, but that doesn't mean
you can't talk to her.
265
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,006
I talk to my mom all the time.
266
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:23,041
Really?
267
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,744
Yeah, hey, let's just say
if it wasn't for her,
268
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,246
I would not be going out
with this guy.
269
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,449
- Check him out.
- Oh, I'm gonna check out every inch of his--
270
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,651
personality.
271
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,858
Hey! How's the pizza?
272
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:43,862
Stale and unfulfilling...
like my career.
273
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,730
Okay, well, have fun.
274
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:48,767
I am off on my date with a hot,
supercool music journalist.
275
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:51,936
I can't believe you get to
go backstage and meet Drake!
276
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,139
Mm-hmm, well hey, listen,
if it makes you feel any better,
277
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:57,976
it's not for fun, you know? It's his job.
He has to write a review.
278
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,310
I just get to go with him!
279
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,645
(knock on door)
280
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:08,887
Hi! Wow, guy who has my mom's old
number, you're real and you're cute.
281
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:11,073
Hey, I'm Sofia.
282
00:13:11,074 --> 00:13:13,258
I really liked your article
on the breakup of Journey.
283
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,260
"Do Stop Believing," thank you.
284
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,428
Gabi, we gotta get going.
285
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,898
Oh, right, you gotta get there
early so you can take notes
286
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,399
and really capture the moment?
287
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,961
No, I ate a special brownie
and it is about to kick in.
288
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:30,275
You two have fun at the concert. I'm so
glad good things keep happening to you.
289
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,110
(Gabi's phone rings)
290
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,511
Oh, hang on one second.
291
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:36,681
Oh, it's my co-worker. He's
probably just calling to thank me,
292
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:39,517
I spent the day with his foster
daughter, we totally bonded and,
293
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,820
kind of her mentor.
You're welcome, Elliot.
294
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,522
What? When?
295
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,425
Okay, I'm on my way.
Keisha ran away, I gotta go.
296
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,093
Oh my god...
297
00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,596
Yeah, listen, Peter, I'm really sorry.
I was really looking forward
298
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:52,864
to tonight, but I gotta get going.
299
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,833
Gabi, is there anything I can do?
300
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:59,137
Um... actually, yeah! Will you go
to the concert with my soul mate?
301
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:02,874
I don't want him to like, meet
anybody 'cause he's my soul mate.
302
00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:06,110
No pressure.
303
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:12,717
Can't believe she ran away.
304
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,185
We're the worst parents ever.
305
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,286
Guys, don't blame yourselves.
306
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,355
I don't. I blame her.
307
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,324
What? Me? What did I do?
308
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,960
You were the last person
to spend time with Keisha.
309
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,995
What did you say to her
to make her run away?
310
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,564
Nothing, we just went to the mall,
and then we went to the diner
311
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:27,899
for milkshakes.
312
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,001
What kind?
313
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:33,004
What? Every detail could be a clue.
314
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,073
Think, Gabala, think.
Did she say anything
315
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:36,541
that might suggest she'd run away?
316
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,509
Spit it out, bitch! Everybody
knows the first few hours
317
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,044
are the most important!
318
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,180
I mean, we just talked
about girl stuff, you know,
319
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:45,917
like clothes and music
and how both our moms are dead.
320
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,352
Keisha's mom's not dead.
321
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,053
- What? But she told me her mom--
- Keisha's mom's
322
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,222
been in a prison upstate
for the last three years.
323
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,257
It was in her file.
324
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,692
But why would she lie?
325
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:58,062
Would you wanna tell someone
your mom was in the big house?
326
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,797
My kids didn't.
327
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,504
Oh my god, you know what? I told
her that I do everything I can
328
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:09,841
to stay connected with my mom. Do you
think she went to to visit her in prison?
329
00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:11,709
How? She doesn't have money.
330
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,478
Actually...
331
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,581
she may have $500.
332
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:20,235
Joshua, you didn't!
333
00:15:20,236 --> 00:15:22,687
I wanted her to like me!
All my presents were tanking.
334
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,455
Okay, everybody slow your damn roll.
335
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,524
Now, a kid just can't
go visit a prison.
336
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:29,260
They have to be with an adult
or be 18.
337
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,596
Actually...
338
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,632
I may have told her you can buy a fake I.D.
at a smoke shop.
339
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,401
Gabala, you didn't.
340
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,603
Gabala did.
341
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,638
Okay, here's the plan.
342
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,640
Yolanda, you're gonna stay here
in case she comes back,
343
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,943
the rest of us will divide up, we'll
hit every smoke shop in the area.
344
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,544
We'll meet at the diner in an hour.
345
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:47,845
Okay.
346
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:53,017
Uch... looks like
Tinker Bell threw up in here.
347
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:59,891
Okay, so I know your article
is due in two hours,
348
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:01,893
and you were nice enough
to introduce me to Drake,
349
00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:04,162
so I'm gonna brew you
a fresh pot of coffee
350
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:07,165
so you can start your article--
351
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:10,068
Peter?
352
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,903
Peter!
353
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:13,638
Hey!
354
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,240
(moaning)
355
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,408
Peter...
356
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,548
Type!
357
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:34,659
Okay, how about this? Uh, you
dictate and I will type.
358
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:39,163
The cloud was maglical...
359
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:43,868
Do you mean the crowd was magical?
360
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:47,271
Good. You're good.
361
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:49,674
The music was--
362
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,211
Peter. Peter!
363
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,146
Hey! You gotta wake up
and write this review.
364
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,015
I don't wanna. You do it.
365
00:16:57,017 --> 00:17:00,018
But I-I'm not a writer.
366
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,687
Pwe-e-ease?
367
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:06,824
I really need this job.
I'm in so much debt.
368
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:09,894
Rehab is so expensive.
369
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,635
Okay. Well, won't be the first
time a guy passes out on me
370
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,437
and I have to do all the work.
371
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:29,213
We've been to eight smoke shops
and still no Keisha.
372
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,848
Alan, what are we gonna do?
373
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,651
We're gonna ditch these patchouli-soaked
jackets and soldier on!
374
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:37,688
You look up the bus lines, I'm gonna
find the number for the prison.
375
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,024
Any word from Gabi and Josh?
376
00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:43,194
They're on their way here, but
they haven't found her, either.
377
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,263
Nothing for me. I'm too upset.
378
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:48,905
Me neither, I can't eat at a time like this.
Two root beer floats.
379
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,738
How could I have trusted our daughter with Gabi.
I'll tell you how!
380
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,374
I wasn't thinking!
And now look what--
381
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:57,775
You said "our daughter."
382
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:58,943
No, I didn't.
383
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:01,879
Yes, you did. You called
Keisha our daughter.
384
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,047
You like her.
385
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:06,284
Like her? I've got such
a knot in my stomach,
386
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:10,354
I can barely eat. I can't breathe.
She's killing me!
387
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:12,223
It's called worry, Elliot.
388
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,926
This is exactly why I wanted to
bring a child into our lives.
389
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,862
They make everything better
even when they worry you sick.
390
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,698
Well, I don't like it.
If anything happens to her--
391
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:24,035
Get a grip, you two.
I'm fine. I'm right here!
392
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:26,571
- Oh my god--
- What are you doing here?
393
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:29,373
I was just here waiting for the
bus so I could see my mom.
394
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,742
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, while I was waiting
395
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,578
I bought a bunch of scratchers
with Josh's cash.
396
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,279
I was doing them in the corner.
397
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,148
We have to get her stomach pumped!
398
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,416
Those are lottery tickets!
399
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,785
Oh, thank god.
400
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:44,455
You had us worried sick. You can't
just go running off like that.
401
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,591
Yeah, well, I didn't think you cared.
402
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,493
Neither did I.
403
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,094
I didn't think you wanted me around.
404
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,296
Neither did I!
405
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,132
But he does, and so do I!
406
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:57,168
And listen, sweetie, if you wanna
go see your mom, we'll take you.
407
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:58,236
Seriously?
408
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:01,739
Yeah. So hand over that fake I.D.
409
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,308
What fake-- Fine!
410
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,080
Beyoncé Rihanna?
411
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:13,117
Look, I'm sorry I made it seem
like I didn't want you around.
412
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,485
It's just... (sighs)
413
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,120
I've never had a daughter before.
414
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,656
Yeah, well, I've never
had two dads before.
415
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:21,025
Aw, she called us "dads"!
416
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,293
No, I didn't.
417
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,661
Yes, you did.
418
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,364
You like us. And you wanna hug us.
419
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,365
Whatever.
420
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,066
That means yes!
421
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,708
- I couldn't find her.
- Me neither.
422
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,245
Oh my god. There she is.
423
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,517
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
424
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,520
It looks like
they have it under control.
425
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,723
Look at them! Finally coming
together as a family.
426
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,325
Yeah, and you know,
none of this would've happened
427
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,493
if I hadn't told her about my mom,
428
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:56,894
and told her where to get a fake I.D.
429
00:19:56,896 --> 00:20:00,298
Hey! Don't forget I'm the one
that gave her all that cash!
430
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,400
We're gonna be great parents.
431
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,502
Yeah, we are.
432
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:07,405
Hey. I'd like to pay
for everything they're having.
433
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:10,608
And be sure to let the kid know,
it's from Uncle Joshy.
434
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:15,179
So you ever been
in a hot air balloon?
435
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:16,314
Pass.
436
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:23,354
Hi.
437
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:26,424
Whoo, flowers. Who are they from?
438
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,025
- Peter.
- Don't want 'em.
439
00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:29,760
After you told me how he acted
that night,
440
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,597
the only person I want drunkenly
passing out on the couch is Yolanda.
441
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:37,902
Actually, these are for me for me
for writing that review for him.
442
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:42,373
Aw, well, he should have sent a maid
for what he did to our bathroom.
443
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:45,109
Oh my god. Gabi...
444
00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:47,912
his editor thought
the article was so good,
445
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:51,949
Peter got me a gig! I'm writing an
article for an indie music blog!
446
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:54,619
Here are the tickets!
I can't believe it!
447
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,455
Now I'm the cool music journalist!
448
00:20:57,457 --> 00:21:00,358
That's so great, look at you,
with your words!
449
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,060
I know! And I had so much fun
writing that review.
450
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,429
And turns out...
I'm really good at it!
451
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,064
Sofia, maybe this is your thing!
452
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,733
- Oh my god! I have a thing!
- You have a thing!
453
00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:09,900
- I have a thing!
- You're a writer!
454
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:12,069
Aah! Who knew?
455
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,237
My mom!
456
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:15,273
You know what, Gabi?
457
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,875
Maybe your mom wasn't leading
you to your soul mate.
458
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:20,144
Maybe she was leading me
to my passion.
459
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,313
Ohh... that's so sweet.
460
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:25,483
Still single down here, Mom!
461
00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:26,565
(squeals)
35428
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