Original subtitles

- [rumbling] - [thunderclaps]

[♪ intense music playing]

[squeaking]

[Lord Morsus] Minister McFigglehorn.

I've been waiting.

Lord Morsus.

I've brought you the Eye of Evilini.

[Lord Morsus] Excellent.

[music intensifies]

I have a very important job for you.

I assure you, I will not let you down.

[laughs]

[Lord Morsus] I'll make sure that you don't...

with this.

[gasps]

[whooshing]

[Lord Morsus] Now you are fully under my control.

If the prophecy is to be fulfilled,

I must have the young wizard's power.

But the Russos will never let that happen.

They're too strong together.

Then we must break them apart.

[Lord Morsus laughing]

- [laughing] - [Lord Morsus laughs louder]

[laughing loudly]

[both laughing intensely]

[Lord Morsus] Okay, we're done laughing.

I know. I know, I'm late.

But don't worry, your number one student is here.

Let the wizarding begin!

Nice work, Roman!

Whoa. You started the wizarding

without your number one student?

Billie, you weren't his "number one student."

You were his "one student." There's a difference.

Sorry, Billie, we had to get started.

Now that the boys have powers,

you're not the only wizard I'm teaching.

I'm getting good with my wand.

I've only had it for two days

and I already know how to scratch my back.

You already taught him Scratch-us My Back-us?

Oh, no, you're just using it like a stick.

Milo, stop messing around.

We have a ton of work ahead.

I have to get you all ready to compete

in the Family Wizard Competition.

That's not for three years.

Check it out. Taught myself a new spell.

I call it Itch-us My Arm Pit-us.

Three years is suddenly feeling like not enough time.

Well, if only one of us can be the family wizard

and keep our powers,

everyone knows it's gonna be me.

Learning is my superpower.

I thought turning milk into farts was your superpower.

I wouldn't talk to me that way.

Unlike you, I know how to use my wand.

I know how to use my wand, too.

[in high-pitched voice] Ow!

Dad!

Yeah, I think I got this competition locked up.

[scoffs] You wish.

Too bad there isn't a way to prove who's the better wizard.

Oh, wait, there is.

Numbers rise, points are scored.

Track them with a Bibbidi Bobbidi Board.

It follows our progress and gives us points for every new spell we learn.

That's not gonna be distracting.

[dings]

Sweet. Got another point for doing the Bibbidi Bobbidi Board spell.

It's fine. I'll catch up.

Please. You've got five points.

Talk to me when you've got 500.

- [dings] - Yes! Another point.

Hey, Billie.

Remember a month ago when you said to talk to you when I had 500 points?

- Yeah. - What'd you wanna talk about?

[♪ theme song playing]

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have what you want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪

Yes, please.

♪ What it seems ♪

All I'm saying is you're pronouncing the Snack spell wrong.

I've been doing magic since you were in diapers.

I'm sure I know how to say Tummy-us Yummy-us.

That's just it. It's Tum-me-us Yum-me-us.

I always put the emphasis on "me."

Yeah, you do. That's why you're annoying.

You're just jealous because my brain is wired for magic.

I'm like Mozart with music, or da Vinci with painting,

or a... or a sports guy with... with sports.

Hey, guys. What's new?

I'm just explaining to Roman that I'm

the best wizard in the house and always will be.

Oh, so nothing's new.

Hey, guys. Great lesson today.

But, Roman, next time you try to correct my pronunciation, don't...

wait so long. I sounded like an idiot!

Not anymore, you don't.

Better watch out, Billie. Pretty soon, this guy

is gonna be teaching the class. [laughs]

Up top!

[both] Whoo!

Like Roman could ever teach me to be a wizard.

- Up top! - [screams]

I could teach you how to do that, too. [chuckles]

Having all the kids in the lair has been so much fun.

Billie's doing great and... and you should see Roman.

He just soaks up magic.

- And? - And what?

- You forgot about Milo. - I said Milo.

- No, you didn't. - I didn't?

Oh, Well, uh, that's because...

he's a pleasure to have in class.

That's what teachers say on your report card

when they don't have anything good to say.

- Wait, does everyone know we do that? - [chuckles]

I gotta come up with a new report card lie.

Look, I get that Roman is a lot like you were

when you were a student, and you're excited about that.

But just don't forget about Billie and Milo.

I won't forget about Billie.

- And Milo. - Right.

[Milo] Hey, Dad!

I finally learned my first spell.

Oh, that's great, buddy. Let's see it.

Junk-us M'Trunk-us.

[whooshing]

Ha! How great is this?

Oh, we just folded that.

Sorry. This thing's got a mind of its own.

Milo, magic is no joke.

I know. I worked really hard on Junk-us M'Trunk-us.

[whooshing]

My backyard's got a backyard!

Milo, you need to start taking magic more seriously.

- [hesitate] Like your brother. - [winces] Justin.

Giada, he's starting the sixth grade this year.

He's not a little kid anymore.

You're can't be a great wizard

if you don't start taking magic seriously.

Fine! I'll go in the lair and spend rest of the day working on serious spells.

Is that what you want?

Uh, yeah, that'd be great.

Fine! Then... that's where I'll be.

[squeaking]

Shrunk-us His Trunk-us.

- [pops] - [Milo] Ah!

Thank you.

I don't even know what I was worried about.

Roman learned all the easy spells.

- So what? He's gonna slow down. - [dings]

[Roman] Learned another one.

I'm not worried.

[dinging]

[Roman] Oh. Two more that time.

Still not worried.

[dinging]

[Roman] That's a three-fer.

Okay, I gotta do something.

You could study harder.

[laughs] Winter, quit playing?

You know, I'mma cast a spell on him.

Right. Let's see.

[gasps] Ooh. Reverse curse. Here's one I've never done.

I'll cast this on him, and his points will go down.

Time unbound, cast this curse,

put this boy in reverse.

[dings]

[gasps] Yes! It worked.

Now, every time he casts a spell, he'll lose a point.

I assume.

[baby crying]

Do you hear a baby crying?

No. You don't either.

[crying continues]

Okay, that's a baby crying.

Billie, you turned Roman into a baby.

Nah, you don't know that. That could be any baby.

It's wearing flat front chinos and a cardigan.

Dang it. I turned Roman into a baby.

I turned Roman into a baby.

It's fine. We'll get him into a good preschool,

and in 14 years, it'll be like this never happened.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but...

[in baby voice] he is kinda cute.

[Roman] Of course, I'm cute. I'm a baby.

Why are you looking at me like you can't understand me?

Oh, no. I can only make baby noises.

You can't hear what I'm thinking.

I have to find a way to turn him back before anyone finds out.

[farts]

And before I have to change his diaper. I'm not doing that.

Dad wants me to be more like Roman?

I will be exactly like Roman.

[imitates Roman] "I love school. Learning is my superpower."

[in normal voice] Dude, that was a perfect Roman. I gotta do it for Billie.

[sighs] No. This is exactly what Dad was talking about.

[imitates Justin] "Milo, you have to take magic more seriously."

[in normal voice] Dude, that was a perfect Dad. I gotta do it for Mom.

[sighs] Come on, Milo!

Would you stop being hilarious and just study?

[♪ foreboding music playing]

[softly] I just need to sneak into the house

and find the perfect place to hide this.

Minister McFigglehorn?

- What are you doing here? - I... uh...

Did you come to see if I was doing serious magic?

Yes. That's why I'm here.

How's it going?

- Short answer or long answer? - Short answer.

It was the morning of my father's birthday.

I was in my bedroom when Billie came through my mirror.

This is the short version?

Yeah. The long version starts when my parents decided to "try for a girl."

So, where was I?

It was the morning of my father's birthday.

Man, there's gotta be a spell in here to turn you back.

- [baby Roman sniffles] - Ugh.

I didn't think it was possible for you to cry more than you do as a teenager.

[Roman] This crying is perfectly justified

because you turned me into a baby.

- [baby Roman whines] - You must be hungry.

[Roman] I'm not hungry.

Or maybe you want a binkie.

[Roman] I don't need a binkie. I'm 14.

- [baby Roman crying] - Why won't you just go to sleep?

♪ Rock-a-bye Roman On the treetop... ♪

[Roman] Oh, yeah. Like your dumb song' gonna make me...

[snoring]

Finally. Some peace and quiet.

- Billie! - [baby Roman crying]

Dang it, Winter. I just got him to sleep.

Why are you yelling at me?

I'm the one who'd to go to three stores to get baby supplies.

Well, while you were out having a great time shopping,

I was here caring for our little bundle of joy.

Billie, please, let's not fight in front of the baby.

Can you just hold him, so I can find a spell to fix this?

[Roman] No, no. Don't give me to Winter.

You've seen her phone screen.

She drops that thing like four times a day!

How was Price-Co?

Weird. I know I'm wrong about this,

but I swear I saw Winter buying diapers in bulk.

Anyway, have you seen Milo?

I got some fun back-to-school stuff to show him.

I think he's in the lair, studying.

Has he been in there this whole time?

[sighs] I was worried this would happen when you compared him to Roman.

If Milo wants to win the Family Wizard Competition,

Sorry, but he's gonna have to be a little more like Roman.

I don't have a sub shop to give him if he loses.

Wait, Max got stuck making sandwiches

because he lost the competition?

Yeah. And you've seen Milo make a sandwich.

It's wizard or nothing for that kid.

I just... I wanna be sure you didn't hurt his feelings.

I didn't hurt his feelings. He's in there studying.

I motivated him.

Is that how your dad motivated Alex?

By telling her to be more like you?

Oh. Are you kidding me?

When dad did that, Alex conjured a genie,

and she erased me from existence.

[laughing] She...

You know what? I'm gonna go check on Milo.

[Roman] Mmm, that is good. Slides right down.

It's kind of fun not having teeth.

And I thought I could eat a lot of pureed asparagus.

There's no counter-spell in here for a Reverse curse.

[spits]

[Roman] You're telling me I'm stuck like this?

[baby cries]

No, no, don't cry.

Do I hear crying? Oh!

Where'd that baby come from?

Oh, Mrs. Russo, I can't believe I'm the first to tell you this.

Okay, when two people love each other very much...

We're babysitting.

Yep. We started babysitting.

You know, for neighborhood babies and some small dogs.

Aw! I used to babysit when I was your age.

[Roman] Mom! Mom, it's me!

Oh, this guy seems really upset!

[gasps] Roman used to get fussy like this.

Mostly when he needed his diapey changed.

- I'm out. - Gross.

You wimps. I'll do it.

Aw. [sniffs] Ooh!

Who's a Mr. Stinky Bottom?

[Roman] This is humiliating.

Look, we can't keep up this up much longer.

Too bad you can't just reverse the Reverse curse.

That's it! I'll just say the spell backwards.

But I have to get the baby back from Giada before she figures out it's Roman.

[Giada] I know this tushy!

She figured it out.

Uh, why is my 14-year-old son a baby?

Um...

Roman was trying to do a spell that was too hard for him,

and he turned himself into a baby.

I told him not to.

[Roman] Like she's ever gonna believe that.

- I believe it. - [Roman] Oh, come on!

Roman's been so obsessed with getting more points than you,

it was only a matter of time before one of his spells backfired.

I'll go get Justin. He'll fix this.

Here, take Roman. I have to fix this.

- But Giadi just said... - I know what she said.

But if Justin fixes it, I don't get the points.

This is still about the points?

It was always about the points.

I heard a dog barking and I thought it was our neighbor's dog.

But no, our neighbor has a fish.

What are you talking about?

- I was kind of hoping you knew. - [groans]

I am never getting in that house.

Hey, Milo, I want... Uh...

Minister McFigglehorn! [laughs]

What a surprise. [chuckles]

Did you call the Tribunal?

I didn't call them. She just showed up.

There's something different about you.

I got new glasses.

Sure! Let's go with that. [chuckles]

I heard there are issues with your students.

I'd like to speak to Roman and Billie inside your house.

Issues? There are no issues.

Roman misused his spell and it turned him into a baby.

On second thought, maybe we should just talk, um, in here.

All right, Roman, if I fix this, any chance we could keep this between us?

[Roman blows raspberry]

Yeah, I didn't think so.

All right. I just have to say this curse in reverse.

Reverse in...

reverse in...

Yeah, there's no way I'm gonna remember this.

You are so lucky I'm the president of the Cue Card Club.

Aw, yes, Winter!

Reverse in boy this put,

curse this cast, unbound time!

Did it work? Is he back?

You are in so much trouble!

Yeah, he's back.

- [buzzes] - [Billie] What the heck?

Why did I lose a point?

I'll tell you why.

Because you didn't do the spell right.

Hey, on the bright side, you're not a baby anymore.

And yet I'm still wearing a diaper.

Billie, you have to do something fast.

I ain't getting any younger.

He's really not.

In fact, I think he's getting older.

What? Speak up!

Why's your generation always mumbling?

Man, this is bad.

If he keeps aging, he's gonna eventually, you know...

- What? - What?

- Stop aging! - Like Paul Rudd?

No, Winter. Like, he's gonna die.

I'm gonna die?

That you heard?

I'm telling Dad.

Hurry! We have to figure out how to fix this before he tells.

I think we've got time.

Professor Russo, if there are no issues

why can't I go inside your house?

You're not hiding something from me?

I am not hiding something from you.

Dad, why can't you go into the house?

[whispers] Because I'm hiding something from her.

Roman's a baby.

Well, everybody knows that!

No, Roman turned himself into an actual baby,

and I can't let McFigglehorn see.

[sighs] I know just the spell to help!

But you only know one spell.

Wait, Milo.

I know. It's not serious magic.

No, I was actually gonna say that's genius!

Um, excuse me for one moment. Just give me a second.

I'll go in there and just, um, tidy up. [chuckles]

I'm done waiting.

- I'm going in. - Me first.

Junk-us M'Trunk-us.

Oh, no! I'm stuck!

What a pain in the... Well, you know.

I was talking about my butt.

How did Roman turn himself into a baby?

So I'm not exactly sure, But I can tell you

he is just as adorable as when he was born.

Oh, Justin, should we have another one?

Guys! You'll never believe what Billie just did.

Out of my way, old man.

[gasps] Watch it, whippersnapper!

Roman?

I thought you said he was turned into a baby!

Um...

We started senior-sitting.

You know, for neighborhood old people and some small dogs.

Somebody tell me what's happening.

[sighs] Okay, fine.

When I saw how fast Roman was getting points on the board,

I was afraid he was gonna catch up to me.

So I did a Reverse curse on him to reverse his progress.

But I ended up turning him into a baby.

And let me guess, you tried to reverse the Reverse curse

and you turned him into an old man.

Great work, Dad.

You figured it out.

Are you giving him the slow clap?

No, I'm just old.

This is as fast as I can clap.

Okay, I will reverse the reversed Reverse curse and he'll be back to normal.

No, I have to fix it.

- [Billie gasps] - Oh.

- Oh. - [gags]

- Whoa. - Uh...

[Roman] Did it work?

Am I back to normal?

Not exactly.

Enough of this!

- Shrunk-us his... - No!

- Dad, I got a wand! - Wrong side.

Oh, thanks.

Dad, I got a wand!

- Hey, Milo. - [Milo screams]

How does it know my name?

Can someone change me back?

- Let me do it. - I'll do it.

All the magic of today, with this spell I take away.

- [screams] - [thuds]

[sighs] I'm gonna miss dragging that wagon.

It's tough getting old.

Now I know why Mom turned 32 three times.

You sure you want to take a swing at me?

I changed your diaper today.

Well, did I say 32, 'cause I meant 22.

Who put a reverse curse on you, young lady? [chuckles]

Roman, I'm really sorry.

I probably shouldn't have done that spell.

You definitely shouldn't have done that spell.

I guess I was just so used to being Justin's only student.

And now that there's three of us, it's like, if I'm not the best,

I don't know what makes me special.

Billie,

you're always gonna be special.

Yeah, you're...

You're our sister.

That's how you think of me?

Y... Yeah.

You took care of me when I needed you.

Granted I only needed you because you turned me into a baby.

So you're not mad at me?

Oh, no. I'm furious.

But in a "mad at my sister, but can't do anything about it,

'cause we're family" kind of way.

[chuckles softly]

Minister McFigglehorn!

How did you get in here?

Through the mirror, upstairs.

But I took your wand.

And I took yours.

It was in your back pocket.

I mean, to be fair, me and my butt were in separate rooms, so...

Well, as you can see, there are no issues. [chuckles nervously]

Everything's under control with my students.

We'll see about that.

- Oh. - [sighs]

Did she change her whole... everything?

Yeah, I think she's going through something.

I'm sorry I forgot about the one in my back pocket.

And I know what you're gonna say.

Roman would have remembered.

That is not what I was going to say.

I mean, I would have.

- I wouldn't have... - [pacifier squeaks]

Sorry. He's cranky 'cause he missed his nap.

Milo, I'm the one who should be apologizing to you.

I should have never compared you to Roman.

I don't want you to be anyone but you.

You are fun, you're creative, you're unique.

I mean, no one else would have thought of stalling McFigglehorn with that spell.

But you said to be a great wizard, I needed to be serious.

You are going to be a great wizard.

You're just gonna do it in your own way.

So that was you buying diapers at Price-Co earlier.

And that was you getting yelled at

for taking too many teriyaki meatball samples.

Know what? I don't think we saw each other.

I wasn't even at Price-Co.

Okay, Roman, new deal.

We forget about the Bibbidi Bobbidi Board and support each other

on our journey to becoming the best wizards we can be.

[both laughing]

You almost had me.

I can barely keep a straight face.

You're going down.

Did you place the object in their house, as I asked?

Yes, and to be honest, it was easier than I thought.

I think they're going through something.

Good! Soon the Russos will fall,

and Billie's power will be mine!

[♪ ominous music playing]

[energy crackling]