All language subtitles for Wizards.Beyond.Waverly.Place.S02E01.en

- [rumbling]
- [thunderclaps]

[♪ intense music playing]

[squeaking]

[Lord Morsus]
Minister McFigglehorn.

I've been waiting.

Lord Morsus.

I've brought you
the Eye of Evilini.

[Lord Morsus] Excellent.

[music intensifies]

I have a very important
job for you.

I assure you,
I will not let you down.

[laughs]

[Lord Morsus] I'll make sure
that you don't...

with this.

[gasps]

[whooshing]

[Lord Morsus] Now you are
fully under my control.

If the prophecy
is to be fulfilled,

I must have
the young wizard's power.

But the Russos
will never let that happen.

They're too strong together.

Then we must break them apart.

[Lord Morsus laughing]

- [laughing]
- [Lord Morsus laughs louder]

[laughing loudly]

[both laughing intensely]

[Lord Morsus]
Okay, we're done laughing.

I know. I know, I'm late.

But don't worry,
your number one student is here.

Let the wizarding begin!

Nice work, Roman!

Whoa. You started
the wizarding

without your number one student?

Billie, you weren't his
"number one student."

You were his "one student."
There's a difference.

Sorry, Billie,
we had to get started.

Now that the boys have powers,

you're not
the only wizard I'm teaching.

I'm getting good with my wand.

I've only had it for two days

and I already know how
to scratch my back.

You already taught him
Scratch-us My Back-us?

Oh, no, you're just
using it like a stick.

Milo, stop messing around.

We have a ton of work ahead.

I have to get you all
ready to compete

in the
Family Wizard Competition.

That's not for three years.

Check it out.
Taught myself a new spell.

I call it Itch-us My Arm Pit-us.

Three years
is suddenly feeling like not enough time.

Well, if only one of us
can be the family wizard

and keep our powers,

everyone knows it's gonna be me.

Learning is my superpower.

I thought turning
milk into farts was your superpower.

I wouldn't talk to me that way.

Unlike you, I know how
to use my wand.

I know how to use my wand, too.

[in high-pitched voice] Ow!

Dad!

Yeah, I think I got
this competition locked up.

[scoffs] You wish.

Too bad there isn't
a way to prove who's the better wizard.

Oh, wait, there is.

Numbers rise, points are scored.

Track them
with a Bibbidi Bobbidi Board.

It follows our progress and gives us
points for every new spell we learn.

That's not gonna be distracting.

[dings]

Sweet. Got another point
for doing the Bibbidi Bobbidi Board spell.

It's fine. I'll catch up.

Please. You've got
five points.

Talk to me when you've got 500.

- [dings]
- Yes! Another point.

Hey, Billie.

Remember a month ago when you said
to talk to you when I had 500 points?

- Yeah.
- What'd you wanna talk about?

[♪ theme song playing]

♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have what you want
by the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪

♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪

Yes, please.

♪ What it seems ♪

All I'm saying is you're pronouncing
the Snack spell wrong.

I've been doing magic
since you were in diapers.

I'm sure I know
how to say Tummy-us Yummy-us.

That's just it.
It's Tum-me-us Yum-me-us.

I always
put the emphasis on "me."

Yeah, you do.
That's why you're annoying.

You're just jealous
because my brain is wired for magic.

I'm like Mozart with music,
or da Vinci with painting,

or a... or a sports guy
with... with sports.

Hey, guys. What's new?

I'm just explaining
to Roman that I'm

the best wizard in the house
and always will be.

Oh, so nothing's new.

Hey, guys. Great lesson today.

But, Roman, next time you try
to correct my pronunciation, don't...

wait so long.
I sounded like an idiot!

Not anymore, you don't.

Better watch out, Billie.
Pretty soon, this guy

is gonna be teaching
the class. [laughs]

Up top!

[both] Whoo!

Like Roman could ever
teach me to be a wizard.

- Up top!
- [screams]

I could teach you how
to do that, too. [chuckles]

Having all the kids
in the lair has been so much fun.

Billie's doing great and...
and you should see Roman.

He just soaks up magic.

- And?
- And what?

- You forgot about Milo.
- I said Milo.

- No, you didn't.
- I didn't?

Oh, Well, uh, that's because...

he's a pleasure
to have in class.

That's what teachers say
on your report card

when they don't have
anything good to say.

- Wait, does everyone know we do that?
- [chuckles]

I gotta come up
with a new report card lie.

Look, I get that Roman
is a lot like you were

when you were a student,
and you're excited about that.

But just don't forget
about Billie and Milo.

I won't forget about Billie.

- And Milo.
- Right.

[Milo] Hey, Dad!

I finally learned
my first spell.

Oh, that's great, buddy.
Let's see it.

Junk-us M'Trunk-us.

[whooshing]

Ha! How great is this?

Oh, we just folded that.

Sorry. This thing's got
a mind of its own.

Milo, magic is no joke.

I know. I worked really hard
on Junk-us M'Trunk-us.

[whooshing]

My backyard's got a backyard!

Milo, you need to start
taking magic more seriously.

- [hesitate] Like your brother.
- [winces] Justin.

Giada, he's starting
the sixth grade this year.

He's not a little kid anymore.

You're can't be a great wizard

if you don't start
taking magic seriously.

Fine! I'll go in the lair and spend rest
of the day working on serious spells.

Is that what you want?

Uh, yeah, that'd be great.

Fine! Then...
that's where I'll be.

[squeaking]

Shrunk-us His Trunk-us.

- [pops]
- [Milo] Ah!

Thank you.

I don't even
know what I was worried about.

Roman learned
all the easy spells.

- So what? He's gonna slow down.
- [dings]

[Roman] Learned another one.

I'm not worried.

[dinging]

[Roman] Oh. Two more
that time.

Still not worried.

[dinging]

[Roman] That's a three-fer.

Okay, I gotta do something.

You could study harder.

[laughs] Winter, quit playing?

You know, I'mma cast
a spell on him.

Right. Let's see.

[gasps] Ooh. Reverse curse.
Here's one I've never done.

I'll cast this on him,
and his points will go down.

Time unbound, cast this curse,

put this boy in reverse.

[dings]

[gasps] Yes! It worked.

Now, every time
he casts a spell, he'll lose a point.

I assume.

[baby crying]

Do you hear a baby crying?

No. You don't either.

[crying continues]

Okay, that's a baby crying.

Billie, you turned Roman
into a baby.

Nah, you don't know that.
That could be any baby.

It's wearing flat front chinos
and a cardigan.

Dang it. I turned Roman
into a baby.

I turned Roman into a baby.

It's fine. We'll get him
into a good preschool,

and in 14 years,
it'll be like this never happened.

I can't believe
I'm saying this, but...

[in baby voice]
he is kinda cute.

[Roman] Of course,
I'm cute. I'm a baby.

Why are you looking at me
like you can't understand me?

Oh, no. I can only
make baby noises.

You can't hear
what I'm thinking.

I have to find a way
to turn him back before anyone finds out.

[farts]

And before I have
to change his diaper. I'm not doing that.

Dad wants me
to be more like Roman?

I will be exactly like Roman.

[imitates Roman] "I love school.
Learning is my superpower."

[in normal voice] Dude, that was
a perfect Roman. I gotta do it for Billie.

[sighs] No. This is exactly
what Dad was talking about.

[imitates Justin] "Milo, you have to
take magic more seriously."

[in normal voice] Dude, that was
a perfect Dad. I gotta do it for Mom.

[sighs] Come on, Milo!

Would you stop being hilarious
and just study?

[♪ foreboding music playing]

[softly] I just need
to sneak into the house

and find the perfect place
to hide this.

Minister McFigglehorn?

- What are you doing here?
- I... uh...

Did you come to see
if I was doing serious magic?

Yes. That's why I'm here.

How's it going?

- Short answer or long answer?
- Short answer.

It was the morning
of my father's birthday.

I was in my bedroom
when Billie came through my mirror.

This is the short version?

Yeah. The long version starts when
my parents decided to "try for a girl."

So, where was I?

It was the morning
of my father's birthday.

Man, there's gotta be
a spell in here to turn you back.

- [baby Roman sniffles]
- Ugh.

I didn't think it was possible for you
to cry more than you do as a teenager.

[Roman] This crying
is perfectly justified

because you turned me
into a baby.

- [baby Roman whines]
- You must be hungry.

[Roman] I'm not hungry.

Or maybe you want a binkie.

[Roman] I don't need a binkie.
I'm 14.

- [baby Roman crying]
- Why won't you just go to sleep?

♪ Rock-a-bye Roman
On the treetop... ♪

[Roman] Oh, yeah. Like your
dumb song' gonna make me...

[snoring]

Finally. Some peace and quiet.

- Billie!
- [baby Roman crying]

Dang it, Winter.
I just got him to sleep.

Why are you yelling at me?

I'm the one who'd to go
to three stores to get baby supplies.

Well, while you were out
having a great time shopping,

I was here caring
for our little bundle of joy.

Billie, please,
let's not fight in front of the baby.

Can you just hold him,
so I can find a spell to fix this?

[Roman] No, no.
Don't give me to Winter.

You've seen her phone screen.

She drops that thing
like four times a day!

How was Price-Co?

Weird. I know
I'm wrong about this,

but I swear I saw Winter
buying diapers in bulk.

Anyway, have you seen Milo?

I got some fun
back-to-school stuff to show him.

I think
he's in the lair, studying.

Has he been in there
this whole time?

[sighs] I was worried this would happen
when you compared him to Roman.

If Milo wants to win
the Family Wizard Competition,

Sorry, but he's
gonna have to be a little more like Roman.

I don't have a sub shop
to give him if he loses.

Wait, Max got stuck
making sandwiches

because he lost the competition?

Yeah. And you've seen Milo
make a sandwich.

It's wizard
or nothing for that kid.

I just... I wanna be sure
you didn't hurt his feelings.

I didn't hurt his feelings.
He's in there studying.

I motivated him.

Is that how your dad
motivated Alex?

By telling her
to be more like you?

Oh. Are you kidding me?

When dad did that,
Alex conjured a genie,

and she erased me
from existence.

[laughing] She...

You know what?
I'm gonna go check on Milo.

[Roman] Mmm, that is good.
Slides right down.

It's kind of fun
not having teeth.

And I thought I could eat
a lot of pureed asparagus.

There's no counter-spell
in here for a Reverse curse.

[spits]

[Roman] You're telling me
I'm stuck like this?

[baby cries]

No, no, don't cry.

Do I hear crying? Oh!

Where'd that baby come from?

Oh, Mrs. Russo, I can't believe
I'm the first to tell you this.

Okay, when two people
love each other very much...

We're babysitting.

Yep. We started babysitting.

You know, for neighborhood
babies and some small dogs.

Aw! I used to babysit
when I was your age.

[Roman] Mom! Mom, it's me!

Oh, this guy seems really upset!

[gasps] Roman used
to get fussy like this.

Mostly when he needed
his diapey changed.

- I'm out.
- Gross.

You wimps. I'll do it.

Aw.
[sniffs] Ooh!

Who's a Mr. Stinky Bottom?

[Roman] This is humiliating.

Look, we can't keep up
this up much longer.

Too bad you can't just
reverse the Reverse curse.

That's it! I'll just say
the spell backwards.

But I have to get the baby back from Giada
before she figures out it's Roman.

[Giada] I know this tushy!

She figured it out.

Uh, why is my 14-year-old son
a baby?

Um...

Roman was trying to do a spell
that was too hard for him,

and he turned himself
into a baby.

I told him not to.

[Roman] Like she's ever gonna
believe that.

- I believe it.
- [Roman] Oh, come on!

Roman's been so obsessed
with getting more points than you,

it was only a matter of time
before one of his spells backfired.

I'll go get Justin.
He'll fix this.

Here, take Roman.
I have to fix this.

- But Giadi just said...
- I know what she said.

But if Justin fixes it,
I don't get the points.

This is still about the points?

It was always about the points.

I heard a dog barking
and I thought it was our neighbor's dog.

But no, our neighbor has a fish.

What are you talking about?

- I was kind of hoping you knew.
- [groans]

I am never getting
in that house.

Hey, Milo, I want... Uh...

Minister McFigglehorn!
[laughs]

What a surprise.
[chuckles]

Did you call the Tribunal?

I didn't call them.
She just showed up.

There's something
different about you.

I got new glasses.

Sure! Let's go with that.
[chuckles]

I heard there are issues
with your students.

I'd like to speak
to Roman and Billie inside your house.

Issues? There are no issues.

Roman misused his spell
and it turned him into a baby.

On second thought,
maybe we should just talk, um, in here.

All right, Roman, if I fix this,
any chance we could keep this between us?

[Roman blows raspberry]

Yeah, I didn't think so.

All right. I just have to say
this curse in reverse.

Reverse in...

reverse in...

Yeah, there's no way
I'm gonna remember this.

You are so lucky
I'm the president of the Cue Card Club.

Aw, yes, Winter!

Reverse in boy this put,

curse this cast, unbound time!

Did it work? Is he back?

You are in so much trouble!

Yeah, he's back.

- [buzzes]
- [Billie] What the heck?

Why did I lose a point?

I'll tell you why.

Because you didn't
do the spell right.

Hey, on the bright side,
you're not a baby anymore.

And yet I'm still
wearing a diaper.

Billie, you have
to do something fast.

I ain't getting any younger.

He's really not.

In fact, I think
he's getting older.

What? Speak up!

Why's your generation
always mumbling?

Man, this is bad.

If he keeps aging,
he's gonna eventually, you know...

- What?
- What?

- Stop aging!
- Like Paul Rudd?

No, Winter.
Like, he's gonna die.

I'm gonna die?

That you heard?

I'm telling Dad.

Hurry! We have to figure out
how to fix this before he tells.

I think we've got time.

Professor Russo,
if there are no issues

why can't I go
inside your house?

You're not hiding
something from me?

I am not hiding
something from you.

Dad, why can't you go
into the house?

[whispers] Because I'm hiding
something from her.

Roman's a baby.

Well, everybody knows that!

No, Roman turned himself
into an actual baby,

and I can't let
McFigglehorn see.

[sighs]
I know just the spell to help!

But you only know one spell.

Wait, Milo.

I know.
It's not serious magic.

No, I was actually gonna
say that's genius!

Um, excuse me for one moment.
Just give me a second.

I'll go in there and just,
um, tidy up. [chuckles]

I'm done waiting.

- I'm going in.
- Me first.

Junk-us M'Trunk-us.

Oh, no! I'm stuck!

What a pain in the...
Well, you know.

I was talking about my butt.

How did Roman turn himself
into a baby?

So I'm not exactly sure,
But I can tell you

he is just as adorable
as when he was born.

Oh, Justin, should we have
another one?

Guys! You'll never believe
what Billie just did.

Out of my way, old man.

[gasps]
Watch it, whippersnapper!

Roman?

I thought you said
he was turned into a baby!

Um...

We started senior-sitting.

You know, for neighborhood
old people and some small dogs.

Somebody tell me
what's happening.

[sighs] Okay, fine.

When I saw how fast Roman
was getting points on the board,

I was afraid he was gonna
catch up to me.

So I did a Reverse curse
on him to reverse his progress.

But I ended up turning him
into a baby.

And let me guess,
you tried to reverse the Reverse curse

and you turned him
into an old man.

Great work, Dad.

You figured it out.

Are you giving him
the slow clap?

No, I'm just old.

This is as fast as I can clap.

Okay, I will reverse the reversed
Reverse curse and he'll be back to normal.

No, I have to fix it.

- [Billie gasps]
- Oh.

- Oh.
- [gags]

- Whoa.
- Uh...

[Roman]
Did it work?

Am I back to normal?

Not exactly.

Enough of this!

- Shrunk-us his...
- No!

- Dad, I got a wand!
- Wrong side.

Oh, thanks.

Dad, I got a wand!

- Hey, Milo.
- [Milo screams]

How does it know my name?

Can someone change me back?

- Let me do it.
- I'll do it.

All the magic of today,
with this spell I take away.

- [screams]
- [thuds]

[sighs] I'm gonna miss
dragging that wagon.

It's tough getting old.

Now I know why Mom
turned 32 three times.

You sure you want to take
a swing at me?

I changed your diaper today.

Well, did I say 32,
'cause I meant 22.

Who put a reverse curse
on you, young lady? [chuckles]

Roman, I'm really sorry.

I probably shouldn't have
done that spell.

You definitely shouldn't
have done that spell.

I guess I was just
so used to being Justin's only student.

And now that there's three of us,
it's like, if I'm not the best,

I don't know what makes
me special.

Billie,

you're always gonna be special.

Yeah, you're...

You're our sister.

That's how you think of me?

Y... Yeah.

You took care of me when
I needed you.

Granted I only needed you
because you turned me into a baby.

So you're not mad at me?

Oh, no. I'm furious.

But in a "mad at
my sister, but can't do anything about it,

'cause we're family"
kind of way.

[chuckles softly]

Minister McFigglehorn!

How did you get in here?

Through the mirror, upstairs.

But I took your wand.

And I took yours.

It was in your back pocket.

I mean, to be fair, me and my butt
were in separate rooms, so...

Well, as you can see,
there are no issues. [chuckles nervously]

Everything's under control
with my students.

We'll see about that.

- Oh.
- [sighs]

Did she change her whole...
everything?

Yeah, I think she's going
through something.

I'm sorry I forgot about
the one in my back pocket.

And I know what
you're gonna say.

Roman would have remembered.

That is not what I was
going to say.

I mean, I would have.

- I wouldn't have...
- [pacifier squeaks]

Sorry. He's cranky
'cause he missed his nap.

Milo, I'm the one
who should be apologizing to you.

I should have never
compared you to Roman.

I don't want you to be anyone
but you.

You are fun, you're creative,
you're unique.

I mean, no one else would have thought
of stalling McFigglehorn with that spell.

But you said to be
a great wizard, I needed to be serious.

You are going to be
a great wizard.

You're just gonna do it
in your own way.

So that was you buying diapers
at Price-Co earlier.

And that was you getting yelled at

for taking too many
teriyaki meatball samples.

Know what? I don't think
we saw each other.

I wasn't even at Price-Co.

Okay, Roman, new deal.

We forget about the Bibbidi Bobbidi Board
and support each other

on our journey to becoming
the best wizards we can be.

[both laughing]

You almost had me.

I can barely keep
a straight face.

You're going down.

Did you place the object
in their house, as I asked?

Yes, and to be honest,
it was easier than I thought.

I think they're
going through something.

Good!
Soon the Russos will fall,

and Billie's power will be mine!

[♪ ominous music playing]

[energy crackling]