All language subtitles for W02E01 Audition_track3_[eng]

[Crow squawking]

[Harmonica music playing]

-You know, I love waterfalls,
especially the kind where

you can stand on a ledge
and look down into

the churning waters and imagine
what it'd be like if you

fell off and starting yelling
as you were plummeting

to your certain death.

[Harmonica music playing]

But let's not be morbid.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, everybody,
have you heard the news? ♪

♪ Joe Bob is back in town ♪

♪ He's over at the drive-in,
hanging around ♪

♪ Watching crazy movies,
so come on down ♪

♪ To Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Blood, beasties,
boobies, and more ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's a spooky good time
with monsters and ghosts ♪

♪ Crazy, kooky fun with
the world's greatest host ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be legendary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be very scary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-So, gentlemen of the audience,
how many times have you met

a woman for the first time in
a work environment,

not really talked to her
about anything personal,

but then sneaked around
to get her phone number,

called her up,
and she immediately said

she was so glad you called
and wanted to date you?

How about never?

[Laughter]

But when not only think
this is possible.

They think making eye contact
on the subway can cause women

to instantly fall in love,
whereas women --

or most women -- I'm tempted
to say "all women" --

think being stared at on
the subway is creepy as fuck!

Anyway, I'm Joe Bob Briggs,
and this is "The Last Drive-In",

where we always land
on the topic.

We just don't take
the interstate to get there.

So, they used to have these
personal ads on the back page

of The Village Voice
every week.

"Tuesday afternoon
in St. Mark's Place.

You were walking east,
I was walking west.

You were in a turquoise skirt
and wedge heels.

I was tie-less
in a sport jacket.

We had a moment.

You smiled. I laughed.

Please respond to my box
so the connection can live on."

Now...I'm gonna go out
on a limb here.

I'm gonna estimate the number
of women who happen to see

these ads on the back page
of The Village Voice

remembered whatever it was that
happened on St. Mark's Place,

remembered the guy they saw
for two seconds on the sidewalk,

and went, "Wow, I should
hook up with him."

And that number is...

zero for all of recorded time!

Women do not do this.

Only men do this.

Am I right, Darcy?

-Sure.
-Okay.

Darcy the Mail Girl,
ladies and gentlemen,

the queen of social media,
avatar of "The Last Drive-In",

woman of many e-mail addresses.

She is here to field your
tweets, your messages,

your e-mails.

What do you do, Darcy,
if a stranger makes eye contact

in public and wants to chat you
up and he maybe gives you

his business card
or he makes a date proposal?

-I kind of just stare
at the ground

and walk fast
and mind my own business.

-Yeah, exactly.

In fact, don't you have
special clothes that you wear

on airplanes so nobody
will talk to you?

-Yeah, it's, like, incognito.

I, like, pull my hat down,
like, this far.

-[Laughs]

You must love the states
that still have

the mandatory mask rule, right?

-Oh, my God. Yeah.
I'm like the Shadow.

It's like mask here, hat here.

[Laughter]

-You know, there's
a screenwriting cliche

in love stories called
the cute meet.

Certain kinds of love stories,
Hallmark Channel stuff.

You know, the guy comes
around the corner of

the frozen foods aisle with
his shopping cart too fast,

and he knocks into
her shopping cart

and breaks all her eggs
and stuff flies on to the floor

and he feels terrible
and he starts apologizing

and picking stuff up off the
floor and babbling and saying,

"Oh, you buy these
chicken Alfredo stuffed shells?

Aren't they wonderful?"

And they strike up
a conversation, and pretty soon,

the 30-something single mom --

she wasn't looking for
love at all.

The 30-something single mom
starts to take pity on the guy,

and the next week,
when they see each other again,

they decide to share
a stuffed chicken Alfredo shell,

and you know, for me,
just wanting to talk to me about

a chicken Alfredo stuffed shell
would result in

"I can never see you again."

You know, but anyway, what is
the chicken Alfredo shell

stuffed with besides
chicken Alfredo?

Do you know, Darcy?

-Spinach?

-Spinach. Oh, right.
You're vegan, right?

That's what you would say.

So, for you, Darcy,
the cute meet would have to be

at Whole Foods in the fermented
soy protein aisle, right?

-Exactly.
-Okay.

Have you ever had anybody
meet you for five seconds

and become totally obsessive?

-Yeah.
It got a little weird.

-That happened to you?
-Yeah.

-Like, literally,
they just see you, like,

less than a minute
and become obsessed?

-There's some people out there.

-Okay.

Alright, well, anyway,
the cute meet is

an exclusively female thing,
you know?

It's a "fate brought us
together thing."

They don't want the staring guy
on the subway.

They want the clumsy guy
in front of

the gluten-free almond milk
refrigerator.

So, if the staring-on-the-subway
guy was really intelligent

about meeting a woman,
which he's probably not,

he would fake a cute meet
of the other type.

And, guys, if you're watching
this, please don't go to

Whole Foods and start crashing
your cart into random women.

You have to say these things

these days because dudes
will do anything.

Okay, so, the movie tonight
is "Audition",

and for those of you
who have seen it,

you know why I'm going down
this road,

because we're starting out
with one of these guys who --

he's one of those guys
who would put an ad on

the back page of
The Village Voice,

and then we're pairing him up
with a woman who likes that

kind of attention because
she has secrets

because she's damaged
in one way or another.

And so, highly
combustible combination.

"Audition" is
a great horror movie,

but a very misunderstood
horror movie.

I can't really analyze it
right now because anything I say

might spoil it,
but Takashi Miike, the director,

would say it's not
really a horror movie.

Of course, half the time,
the viewers of this show say,

"Well, that's not horror,
Joe Bob!

Call it something else,
but it's not horror."

But stop saying that,
because our definition of horror

is we know it when
we see it, okay?

And I think this is horror,

even if the director and the
writer say that it's not.

More on that later.

But this is the sensitive story
of a mid-level

Japanese businessman
who loses his wife

and decides to pick a new wife
by staging a fake audition

set up by his cynical
movie producer friend,

and by the way, guys,
I would not suggest this

as a way to meet girls, either.

And if you watch it all the way
to the end of the movie,

you won't want
to meet girls this way.

But it's a story about
loneliness and the stuff

males project on to females
and the stuff that

females project on to males,
and then you add on top of that

that it's Japanese,
and so it's got all that

cultural baggage, which is
full of old-fashioned

male/female roles on
the one hand

and a kind of no-holds-barred
kinkiness on the other hand.

If you watch enough
Japanese movies,

you realize the Japanese,
despite their reputation for

being a retiring, polite people,
are very bold about what

they'll say to one another
to describe their minds

and hearts and other things,
if you know what I mean,

and I think you do.

This is the movie that started
a lot of trends.

It's kind of the introductory
movie for most people

to J-horror.

It's one of two of the first
movies in the category of

"Asia extreme",
which is more of a UK thing

than an American thing,
and it's also the movie

that made Takashi Miike famous.

"Dead or Alive",
which we showed on our

"Thanksgiving Dinners of Death"
marathon, actually came out

in America before "Audition",

but that was kind of
art house-y, you know?

A few people saw it, but then
everybody saw this movie,

and everybody involved
with it became famous.

Actually, they were already
famous in Japan --

many of them were --
but several of the actors

were well known in Japan,

but they now started
working overseas, as well.

So, great movie.
Unique movie.

I don't often say that.

I have a lot to
say about this movie,

but not until you get into it.

So, let's take a look at
those Drive-In totals.

We have five dead bodies,
four breasts, one dead dog,

one fake audition,
with baton twirling,

flamenco dancing, and stripping,
one fake radio show,

body bagging, thigh scarring,
aardvarking with thunder,

neck breaking, head rolls,
fingers roll, ear rolls,

tongue rolls, foot rolls,
bikini fu, dead wife fu,

hallucinatory nightmare
sequence fu, duffel bag fu,

whiskey fu, obsession fu,
hot fire poker fu,

dog bowl upchuck fu, syringe fu,
acupuncture needle fu.

Drive-In Academy Award
nominations for Ryo Ishibashi

as the loneliest man in Japan,

Jun Kunimura as the worldly-wise
film producer for saying,

"Just leave it to me,
I'm a professional auditioner."

And "I can't put
my finger on it,

but something is
wrong with her."

Eihi Shiina as
the dream date for saying,

"I've been waiting
and waiting for your call"

and "Men approached me,
but never anyone like you"

and "Love me and nobody else."

Takashi Miike, the director, for
going places no one wants to go.

Daisuke Tengan,
the screenwriter,

for giving a new dimension
to dating horror.

And Ryu Murakami, the novelist,
for living through it.

Four stars.

Joe Bob says check it out.

And I've said this before,
and it's a rule of horror films.

Actually, it's a rule of life.

If a woman says,
"I just met you,

but I want to rip my clothes
off and have mad, passionate sex

with you because you're
the best-looking

man I've ever seen" --
if this ever happens to you,

run for your life!

Seek out the nearest fire exit!

Find the ripcord
on your parachute!

Is that understood?

I do not want to have to
tell you guys again!

What do guys do instead?

"No, dude, she's into me."

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

[Footsteps]

[Monitor beeping]

[Beeping continues]

[Beeping speeds up, flat lines]

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

[Cellphone rings]

[Reel clicking]

[Cellphone beeps]

[Reel clicks]

[Dog whimpers]

[Dishes clattering]

[Dog whining]

[Dog barks]

-Hai.

-[Chuckles]

[Women laughing]

-[Laughs]

[Door opens]

[Rain falling,
dialogue inaudible]

[Cellphone beeps]

[Hard rock music plays]

[Classical music plays]

[Dog barks]

[Siren wailing in distance]

[Telephone rings]

-[Chuckles]

-Gangu!

Gangu.

[Static crackles]

-Loneliness, boredom, routine.

That's what I get from these
first 24 minutes of the movie.

I think Aoyama's editor
even says at one point,

"Everybody in Japan is lonely."

And is that how you
say his name?

Yuki, how --

I'm tired of getting these
Japanese names wrong,

and so I said...

Yuki, how do you say this?

-Aoyama.

-Okay.

Yuki, come on over here.

I'm gonna need your help
on this, alright?

You're gonna do this names
for me, okay?

Have a seat.

Yuki Nakamura,
ladies and gentlemen,

the Tokyo cowboy, best
art director east of Mount Fuji.

So, the main character...

-Aoyama.

-Thank you, Yuki --
owns a production company,

but it's not an important
production company.

It's not an imaginative
production company.

They do videos and commercials
and the occasional documentary.

He fishes with his son and helps
wash the dishes, and apparently,

he had a sexual fling with his
employee sometime in the past.

That's how I read that moment
where she follows him

to the elevator to tell him
she's getting married.

And then his best friend...

-Yoshikawa.

-...is all the things that...

-Aoyama.
-...is not --

experienced, cynical,
makes real movies,

and they both talk about women
like possessions that you might

want to own at one point
in your life.

So...
-Aoyama.

-...even has a list of things
he wants in a woman.

You know, she has to be young,
play the piano, et cetera,

and when he starts going
through the résumés

for the fake audition,
which one does he fixate on?

The one who's damaged.

The one named...

-Asami.

-Okay. Played by...

-Shiina Eihi.

-Okay.
And she's hot, you know?

But not that hot, right, Yuki?

-Attractive.

Mirikiteki.
-Okay.

[Laughter]

How do you say "hot"
in Japanese?

-Mirikiteki.

-Okay, so she's
[babbles incoherently],

and she says she experienced
a living death

when her ballet career
ended in an injury.

So...

-Aoyama.

-...is kind of a middle-class
robot looking for comfort,

sensing a power advantage,
seeking out a woman who will be

grateful for
male attention, and...

-Yoshikawa.

-...is like a drug dealer
saying,

"Trust me,
I know how to do this.

We'll find you a wife."

And they don't really care
whether the thousands of women

who listen to
the "Tomorrow's Heroine"

radio show and get
dreams of stardom --

they don't care whether
they're disappointed

or misled or whatever.

It's very subtle because of
the way it develops naturally,

but they're basically fleecing
widows and orphans, you know?

And I'm only pointing this out
because there are

endless debates about whether
the protagonist deserves

his fate or not.

He's a nice guy,
but he's not innocent, okay?

Both of the older male actors --

-Aoyama and Yoshikawa.

-...would have been well-known
to Japanese audiences.

Aoyama is played by, um...

-Ryo Ishibashi.
-Okay.

And he was in his early 40s
when the movie was made,

and he was known primarily
as a rock star

who had crossed over into film.

He had a band called ARB,
which stands for

"Alexander's Ragtime Band",
that released a dozen albums

between 1978 and 1990,
but during his fame years,

he met a great Japanese
actor/producer named...

-Yusaku Matsuda.

-...who was like
Marlon Brando in Japan.

Very important actor.

And...

-Yusaku Matsuda.

-...became his mentor
in the few years before

his death in 1989,
and after that...

-Ryo Ishibashi.

-...was always trying to emulate
him, to be like him,

to go to Hollywood
and be in big Western films,

and this was the trait that --
you know, I've been saying

his name probably wrong,
so I'll ever do this one.

The guy I'm talking
about here --

-Takashi Miike.

-...the director, said,

"My intuition told me that
he was hungry for something."

He wanted to cast a middle-aged
man who was still attractive,

and so he approached him
for the role,

playing on his desire
to compete with...

-Yusaku Matsuda.

-Was he a good actor, Yuki?
Do you know?

-The best.
-Really? Okay.

Then there's the actor
who plays...

-Yoshikawa.
-Okay.

The guy who sets up the fake
audition -- that was, um...

Whoop.

[Laughter]

-Oh. Jun Kunimura.

-Okay.
Who is even more famous than...

-Ryo Ishibashi.
-Okay.

The older actor has been in
everything -- 200 credits,

including "Kill Bill"
for Tarantino.

Always a very memorable actor.

And actually, both actors
in the bar scene

had frequently played
Yakuza gangsters,

so two strong screen
personalities that would

be well known
to Japanese audiences.

The audiences would
favor these guys.

They would identify
with these guys.

But there's a third guy
that I want to talk about.

Um...

-Ryu Murakami.
-Okay.

He wrote the novel that
"Audition" is based on,

and he was also extremely
well known in Japan,

both for his novels
and his talk show,

and he was also in a rock band.

He's a film director himself,
but he did not direct

this adaptation of his novel,

and he did not write
the screenplay.

The screenwriter...

-Oh, Daisuke Tengan.

-Okay -- had several meetings
with the novelist,

where he said -- this is a quote
from the screenwriter --

"He had a lot of theories
about the story,

and I pretended to listen
to his suggestions."

But the reason that...

-Ryu Murakami.

-...probably wanted to distance
himself from the production,

and by the way,
the novel is excellent.

I would recommend it.

Although it's very different
from the movie.

The reason he might want
to distance himself

from the project is that
apparently the novel

was autobiographical.

He did meet a woman in this way,
and it did not turn out well.

So, a very personal
story, and...

-Takashi Miike.

-...says that...

-Ryu Murakami.

-...puts his whole personal life
into the novels,

and so when he met with him
for this project,

the first thing he said was,

"This novel is a love letter
to a woman, isn't it?"

And the novelist said,
"Is it that obvious?"

So, this stuff may not seem
important to you right now,

if you haven't seen
the movie before,

but when it gets real later,
you will thank me.

Okay.

Back to the movie.

Alright.

You know, I've heard
a lot of casting couch stories

from people working in LA,
but all those stories

are about getting laid,
you know?

Leave it to Japan to come up
with a whole story

about using the casting couch
to get a wife.

You know, Aoyama
is not even sure that --

-No.
-No?

What?

-Aoyama.
-Aoyama.

Alright. Sorry.

He's not even sure he wants
sex before marriage,

and he says at one point, quote,
"I feel like a criminal."

It's like the eharmony version
of a casting couch.

You know, "Here, answer these
97 questions and your life

will improve greatly because you
might end up married to me."

So, Yuki,
when they lettered these,

they gave me an extra one.

Did I leave somebody out,
what does this one say?

-"Who is Joe Bob?

Why are we making
this stupid sign?"

[Laughter]

-Oh.

Okay.

[Static crackles]

[Elevator whirring]

[Laughter]

[Cellphone rings]

-Hai.

-[Chuckles]

[Beeping]

[Line ringing]

[Beeps]

[Telephone rings]

[Door closes]

-[Sighs]

[Static crackles]

-Did you see that quick image
of the woman half hidden

behind the tree?

I was just having
a discussion with my director,

Austin Jennings.

He's standing right over here.

Austin, you think that's Asami,
and the image is about hiding

her identity from
our protagonist.

I think it's Ryoko,
Aoyama's wife,

who died seven years ago,
you know, as though what

he's doing is gradually
making her disappear

as she struggles to be seen.

And then you just made
a good point.

Maybe it's his dream woman.

Maybe it's both women
and all women.

Maybe it's something
emerging in his head,

and based on
what's coming up next,

I think we may have hit
on something.

Anyway, it's interesting to
me that in a movie called

"Audition", the audition
doesn't matter.

Aoyama has already decided
which girl he wants as soon as

he sees the résumé, maybe as
soon as he just sees the photo.

Not that the audition itself
isn't immensely entertaining.

A lot of those actresses
were amateurs.

They used crew members and some
of the actresses who had really

auditioned for "Audition",
so a lot of the scene

was improvved, but
it's really a story about

loneliness and obsession.

Notice that whenever Asami
is in a scene,

she's frequently photographed
from behind

or in half-silhouette, because
the focus is always on Aoyama.

It's never on her.
She remains mysterious.

Asami is played by Eihi Shiina,
who had been in one other movie

when she made this film,
but was principally a model.

When she was still
a high school student,

her head shots were discovered
by the famous Oliviero Toscani,

who is an Italian photographer

best known his campaigns
for Benetton.

He was the art director
for Benetton.

He's the guy who did all
the social justice campaigns.

He did the AIDS photo,
he did the anorexia campaign.

So, anyhow,
he saw Eihi Shiina's photos,

and he flew her to Paris
for a Benetton shoot,

and that launched her career,
and as you can see,

she's not conventionally
beautiful.

There's something remote about
the way she looks at you,

but perfect for this movie.

She grew up in Fukuoka,
on the island of Kyoshu,

and her father opened
the first video store there,

so she grew up watching movies.

But anyway, more interesting
than what she says about

this role is what Takashi Miike
says about it.

He says he knew he was gonna
cast her as soon as she

walked through the door
at the audition,

and he says that
she instinctively knew

the character.

She had absolutely no questions
to ask about the character,

which as we'll see,
is kind of scary,

and Miike says he didn't
totally understand

the character himself, so when
he was not sure about anything,

he would ask her, and he also
tried to stay away from her

when they weren't filming
because her presence

was unsettling to him
and to his screenwriter,

and so he wanted
to keep that feeling.

In other words, he said,
"She naturally had

a 'something is not quite
right about that girl'

aura about her."

So, Miike gave an interview
10 years later, where he said,

"I probably still don't
know who she is."

I talked about Miike before
when I showed "Dead or Alive",

but this is probably
his most famous movie,

and it's certainly the movie
that introduced him to

an international audience,
'cause in later years,

he would go to film festivals,
and the critics would always

say, "It's not the same Miike.

It's not the Miike
of 'Audition'."

But he would say, "I was never
the Miike of 'Audition'.

That was a unique project."

But what I love about Miike is

that every movie for him
is a unique project.

He has no style.

He adapts the form of the movie
to fit the script.

He is a screenwriter's dream
because he'll go to any lengths

to convert the written vision
into a film image.

"Audition" was his 35th film,
and he was still a young man.

All through the '90s, he'd made
cheap, straight-to-video movies,

what they call "V-Cinema"
in Japan,

and then a production company
called the Omega Project

optioned Murakami's book
"Audition" and decided

they wanted it to be written
and directed by people not known

for horror, and Miike hadn't
been making horror films at all.

He had one movie about vampires,
but that was it.

And actually, the screenwriter,
Daisuke Tengan, was known mostly

for working on the scripts of
his father, Shohei Imamura,

very famous Japanese director,
and the two of them

had collaborated on "The Eel"
in 1997,

which won the Golden Palm
at the Cannes Film Festival.

Imamura is known for running
one of the most famous

film schools in Japan,

and Miike was actually
one of his students.

He was a bad student,
he was an unmotivated student,

and even Miike admits this,
but Miike did get his first

film credit while studying at

the Yokohama Vocational School
of Broadcast and Film,

better known as -- Yuki!

Yuki.

This is the school
that Miike went to.

-Yokohama Hoso Eiga
Senmon Gakko.

-That's the school
that Yokohama went to.

[Laughter]

And so, he got an assistant
director credit on

"Zigan" in 1987.

"Zigan."

Am I saying that right, Yuki?
Probably not.

"Zigan" is a dark satire about

a brothel owner who
goes big time.

Anyway, my point is that
Omega Project,

the production company,
did not want horror people

at all to make this film,
and yet, this is the movie

later referred to as
the foundation film of J-horror.

Yet it has none of the cliches
of that genre.

Most Japanese horror is tied to
the supernatural, and of course,

this goes back to the original
ghost stories of Japan that were

collected by Lafcadio Hearn
in the late 19th century.

Okay, way off topic.

Don't get me talking about
Lafcadio Hearn.

I'll never stop.

Anyway, this is
anti-supernatural.

It's body horror
and psycho horror.

It's about real people.

Miike, to this day,
is known as a horror director,

and he's honored at
horror festivals

and he's given horror awards,

and yet, he's made very few
horror films.

He once admitted in an interview
that he pretends to be

a horror guy because
he enjoys the attention

when he's overseas,
but he doesn't really

go out of his way
to find horror projects.

Alright.

Back to the movie.

Ah.

Miike says he was stunned
when Showtime asked him

to be part of
the "Masters of Horror" series.

He was surprised by that.

They wanted him because
of "Audition",

and he was supposed to be
the 13th and final director

in the "Masters of Horror"
series, and they kept

telling him, "Do whatever
you want, Takashi.

Do whatever you want.

Do something you could never
get away with in Japan."

And so, he made a story
called "Imprint",

and as soon as he turned it in,

they said,
"We can't show this in America."

[Laughter]

So, it was never seen
in the series.

It was released on DVD, I think,
but in an edited form.

I think the only place
the uncut "Imprint"

has been seen is in England.

But who would say to
Takashi Miike,

"Be more outrageous"?

And second, shouldn't it be
the Japanese telling us,

"Do something you can't get away
with in America", you know,

not vice versa,
if you know what I mean?

And I think you do, and I know
you know what I mean, Yuki.

-Oh, yes.

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

-[Chuckles]

[Water running]

[Dishes clattering]

[Telephone ringing]

[Beeps]

[Receiver clicks]

[Telephone rings]

[Ringing continues]

[Ringing continues]

[Snarling]

-[Sighs]

[Door closes]

[Static crackles]

♪♪

-Yeah.

Derelict apartment
with torn walls,

like something violent
has happened there,

an old phone sitting
on the floor,

and a burlap bag
that occasionally rolls over

on its own.

That is a great jump scare.

I don't know why
it's a great jump scare,

because it's just a bag moving,
but the whole atmosphere,

including Asami's posture --
you know, sitting hunched over

on her knees 24/7,
waiting on the phone to ring,

no known address, no known
contacts with any other human.

Yeah, nothing wrong here.
[Chuckles]

And yet, we don't think
Aoyama is that weird, right?

He's in love.

We don't see this apartment
in the novel, by the way.

This is a writer/director
choice.

This is only in the movie.

This is where the movie goes
where the novel didn't,

and of course, Asami is always
shot diagonally from behind,

so we can't know
what's on her face.

We only see his face
when she's talking.

They were trying to avoid
the cliches and tropes

of what was called "J-horror"
in the '90s, like "Cure"

and "The Ring", but they did
feed into one recurring image

in Japanese movies --
spooky young ladies

with long black hair
hiding their faces.

Miike is still
toying with us here

because he's filming these dates
like a Lifetime movie.

In fact, there was a certain
type of romantic drama in Japan

made for a female audience.

The genre was focused on males,
but a lot of the empathy

in the stories went towards
the women in the males' lives,

and one of the conventions
of this genre is to have

conversations of people
speaking straight to camera,

which Miike does a lot
in these date scenes,

especially focusing on Aoyama.

Anyway, he's filming this
exactly the way these

romantic dramas for
the big screen were made,

playing with
the audiences expectations.

It would be in American terms
like an Eli Roth movie

that starts off
as a Hallmark movie.

So, when the horror part
shows up --

well, I'm not gonna
go there yet.

Anyway, what's in
the duffel bag?

That's what I want to know.

Roll it.

Ah.

One interesting thing,
if you read the criticism

of this movie, is that half
the critics say it's misogynist,

and the other half
say it's feminist.

Now, why do I love that?

Because the same things have
been said about me.

"Hey, that's misogynist!"
"No, actually, that's feminist."

So, here's a novel idea --

what if I'm not misogynist
and I'm not feminist?

Crazy talk, right?

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

[Door opens, computer beeps]

[Knock on door]

-[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Breathing heavily]

[Telephone rings]

[Ringing continues]

[Ringing continues]

[Groans]

[Ringing continues]

[Groans]

[Telephones ringing]

-[Sighs]

[Static crackles]

-Again, guys,
if you go away with a woman

for a romantic weekend
and you have sex

for the fist time
and you wake up later

like you've been drugged
and she leaves without you,

number one, make sure
your wallet, credit cards,

and valuables are still there,

and number two,
assume she doesn't like you!

But of course,
Aoyama does the opposite.

He sets out on a mission
to find her.

I don't want to say much about
this part of the movie,

except please note the different
ways the scenes are shot.

Some are shot realistically,
and some are shot

surrealistically,
and there's a reason for that,

so pay attention.

For example, the scene
we just watched with

Yoshikawa telling him to
forget about the girl

and move on with his life,
which pisses him off --

handheld camera
all over that room.

That's new.

That didn't exist
in the previous scenes,

which were very formal,
very fixed.

We might just be inside the
desperate head of Aoyama, right?

And did you know that Aoyama's
dinosaur-obsessed son

has a more realistic view of
everything than Aoyama does?

He even says, "Women scare me."

That actor is Tetsu Sawaki,
who was 17 playing 15,

and this was his
very first movie.

Another tip, guys --
when the woman you just met

keeps saying things that are
too peculiar to be true,

they're not true.

[Laughter]

There should be required classes
for men when they turn 16.

"How Not to End Up Drugged
and Alone

in Beautiful Resort Hotels",
because yeah, that does happen.

Plus, alcohol.

Notice how Aoyama frequently
has a glass in his hand.

Don't drink unless she drinks.

Okay.

Back to the movie.

Ah.

I live in a neighborhood
that has a lot of bars

and restaurants,
and on weekends,

a lot of people come in
from out of town,

and there is always
the same 3:00 AM scene

waking everybody up -- girl who
used to be wearing high heels,

now barefoot and holding
one high heel in her hand,

running down the street
screaming, "You bastard!"

Now, you would think there would
be so many varieties of

drunken anguish that
that couldn't happen

more than once, right?

I guarantee you,
all the elements

in what I just said
occur at least once a week.

Barefoot girl in a dress,
lost high heel, "You bastard."

If you ever come over,
we can just open up a window

around 2:30,
pour some Wild Turkey,

and just wait for it.

You'll be amazed.

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

[Train rumbling]

[Piano playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Music stops]

[Crackling]

-[Laughing softly]

[Laughing]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Crackling]

[Laughing]

-[Singeing]
-[Screams]

-[Gasps]

[Train rumbling]

-[Groans]

[Squishing sounds]

[Lock clicks, door opens]

[Door closes]

[Static crackles]

-Daisuke Tengan,
the screenwriter,

said he often puts things
in screenplays that he doesn't

really expect the director
to film, at least not in

any kind of explicit way,
which is why he was amazed

when he saw three amputated
fingers, an ear,

and a tongue literally
tormenting Aoyama in that scene.

Only Miike does that.

If it's part of the mind
of the character,

he thinks it has to be a visual,

and he finds a way
to create the visual.

So, we're not in
Kansas anymore, right?

The desperation of Aoyama
has put us into

an alternate universe,
which I'll talk about later.

But have you noticed
how suddenly the camera

is just all over the place,
often handheld,

often confusing
the points of view to reflect

Aoyama's disordered mind?

And this character of the guy
at the piano with

the prosthetic legs,
legs that looked like they were

put together by Leatherface...

-[Laughter]
-...this character,

who may or may not be
Mr. Shimada, may or may not be

Asami's ballet teacher,
may or may not be

her stepfather,
may or may not be an abuser

who burned her thighs
with hot fire pokers --

what a great performance,
and not by just any actor.

The man in the wheelchair
is Renji Ishibashi.

No relation to Ryo Ishibashi,
who plays Aoyama,

and Renji Ishibashi is --
I'm trying to think what

American actor
to compare him to.

Maybe a Christopher Walken
or a Ron Perlman -- you know,

the kind of guy who can turn up
in any movie and steal a scene

because he's willing
to go places

that most people won't go.

Any Japanese filmgoer
would recognize Renji Ishibashi

and delight in this part.

The guy's made 400 films,
started back in the '70s.

He did a type of
softcore pornography

that only exists in Japan --
Nikkatsu Roman Porno.

Nikkatsu Roman Porno.

Nikkatsu is the name
of the studio.

It's actually the oldest
Japanese studio.

It dates from the silent era.

Yuki, did you ever
work at Nikkatsu?

-No.
-No?

But you know what
Roman Porno is, don't you?

-Oh, yes.
-Okay. I thought so.

They call them "pink films."

Anyway, Miike likes to use
Renji Ishibashi,

partly because Ishibashi
will just instantly agree

to anything he wants.

I saw an interview with
Ishibashi where he said,

"Other directors try to build
something when they work.

Miike tries to
destroy everything.

I'm like his toy.
His old toy made of wood.

He plays with new toys, and when
he gets bored with those,

he thinks of an old toy.

He thinks of me, and he makes me
do terrible things.

He dresses me like a woman,

he sticks a metal ladle
in my ass, he electrocutes me.

He doesn't care
how bizarre it is.

He's strange.
I hope somebody can stop him.

Somebody has to scold him.

He totally wrecks
all my acting theories."

But then he says,

"So, I just accept whatever
he's doing without question.

I love being destroyed.
I guess. You know?

I always get killed
in his movies.

It's like working with him
in the afterlife.

So, yes, he treats me like
this toy, but I don't want

to bore him, I don't want him
to throw his toy in the river.

I want him to think he wants
to play with the toy again.

An energetic retro toy."

That's basically what he said.

Alright.

I don't want to give anything
away, now, so back to the movie.

And, Yuki, do you remember
an actress named...um...

I think I wrote it down for you.

Yeah. Do you remember this?

-Oh, yes.
Junko Miyashita.

-You remember Junko Miyashita?

You remember her?
Did I say it right?

-Yes.
-Okay.

She was a character called
the Apartment Wife

in Japanese pink films.

But more important, she was
the co-star with Renji Ishibashi

in "Woman with Red Hair",
which is considered one of

the all-time greatest
Japanese pink films.

1979.

I think the plot is she's nekkid
and she has red hair,

and Renji Ishibashi
has sex with her.

But...you saw all her movies,
didn't you, Yu?

-No, just the one. Apartment.

-Oh, no, you're lying to me.

You saw every movie
that she ever made.

You know what I'm talking about.

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

[Clicks]

[Whimpers]

[Phone beeps]

[Light switch clicks]

-[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Zipper unzips]

-[Laughs]

-[Growling]
-[Gasps]

-[Groaning]

[Groans]

[Groaning]

[Gagging]

[Squelching]

-[Retching, coughing]

[Squelching]

-[Gagging]

-[Screams]

[Slurping]

[Groans]

[Slurping]

[Wheelchair squeaking]

[Crackling]

[Sizzling]

[Sizzling]
-[Screams]

[Piano playing]

♪♪

[Chains rattle]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Creaking]

[Bones cracking]

[Piano playing stops]

[Piano playing resumes]

-[Gagging]

[Gasps]

-[Breathing shakily]

[Ice rattling]

[Rattling]

-Ah!

[Gags]

[Discordant chord plays]

-[Gasps]

[Thud]

[Gasps]

[Breathing heavily]

[Footsteps]

[Static crackles]

♪♪

-They killed the dog again?

I can't believe they
keep killing the dog.

Isn't there a rule?
You can't kill the dog?

But we should be grateful
to Takashi Miike.

He must be a dog lover,
because in the novel,

Asami slowly tortures and kills
the dog in front of Aoyama,

who has to watch helplessly
because he's paralyzed.

But anyway, we have now entered
the rather complicated mind

of Aoyama, and I don't know
if you noticed this during

the nightmare sequence,

but he faces of
the women keep changing.

Sometimes, it's Asami, sometimes
it's his dead wife, Ryoko,

sometimes they're
both in the same scene,

sometimes he's getting
sexual service from Asami

and Ryoko and the secretary
in his office

who's getting married,
and then there's some

quick-cutting stuff
on the staircase implying

sex with his housekeeper
and possibly sex with

his son's girlfriend.

I don't think he had sex
with all of these women,

but like I say,
we're inside Aoyama's mind,

and he's lonely and desperate
and confused,

and also in that sequence,
we have a series of explanations

for what may have possibly
happened to Asami when she was

a young girl --
abused by her mother,

abused by her stepfather,
or maybe not,

because the accounts
are contradictory.

But here's what
a perfectionist Miike is.

He obviously wanted the body
in the burlap bag to be

the controlling image
of the movie,

because he called up Ren Osugi,
one of the most well known

character actors in Japan, a man
who's made more than 400 movies,

star of the Tokyo stage,
and Miike calls him up,

and he says, "I want you
to play a role in my movie."

And he says, "What's the role?"

"Um, you're in a bag.

You don't have any lines."

"Well, what's the character?"

"You're the man in the bag."

And that's all he said,
but because it was Miike,

Osugi instantly
accepted the part.

So, when he got to the set --
Then he found out he had to be

five hours in makeup,
and he didn't really like that,

and then five additional hours
waiting to shoot,

and so it was dawn by the time
they did the scene

where he comes out of the bag,
and then the little additional

moment where he slurps
Asami's vomit out of

a dog bowl and says, "Yummy."

That "Yummy" by the way,
was an ad lib,

so he ended up having a line
in the movie after all.

So, while he's in the bag,
Osugi is thinking to himself,

"I'm gonna do the ankoku butoh
dance as I come out of the bag."

[Chuckles]

This is a Japanese dance.

It actually translate
"dance of utter darkness",

and it involves -- if you want
to see some amazing videos,

go to YouTube and type in
"ankoku butoh dance",

and you'll see these
zombie dancers.

It's like dead people
trying to become alive.

It's really mesmerizing stuff.

They usually wear white body
paint so that they'll look dead,

and their bodies
are usually buck naked.

Now everybody go check out
ankoku butoh, right?

They do this stuff with their
arms and legs where the veins

and the tendons and the muscles
stand out like they're about to

explode through their skin,
so when I say "dancing",

it's weird weird-beard
Joyce Theater dancing.

You know, Joyce Theater being
the place in New York

where they do a lot of
weird-beard dancing.

But I digress.

So, Osugi does
the ankoku butoh dance

as he's coming out of the bag.

Of course, you can't see
that because his legs

and his arms are
covered by the bag.

But he thought that would create
the physical presence

that was needed for that scene.

Now, if an American director
is making a movie,

the role of Man in Bag,
with five hours of

special effects makeup
and 10 seconds of screen time

and no lines, that would be
played by whatever extra

volunteered for the job.

The fact that Miike considered
it an acting role

and Osugi considered it
an acting role --

these are artists at work here.

They are doing things we don't
know about, you know?

Okay.

I'm trying to think if there's
anything else I should say

before we watch the most
disturbing 15 minutes in horror.

The conclusion of "Audition."

When they premiered this movie
at the Rotterdam Film Festival,

about half the audience
couldn't take it.

They walked out.

Surely, we're better
than that, right, people?

So, keep your eyes open.

Notice that all the handheld
stuff is gone now.

We're back to fixed camera work.

Notice that Aoyama always has
a whiskey glass in his hand

and always fails to lock
the doors in his house.

You wanted a girlfriend?
Okay, bud. You got one.

Roll the film.

Oh, man.

I've watched this
scene several times,

and it still gets to me,
you know?

Miike claims that
after this scene,

Japanese men started treating
Japanese women better.

[Laughs]

And I believe that.

I mean, all it would take is
your girlfriend or your wife

saying, "I'm about to go
full Asami on your ass,"

and you would say, "Yes, dear,
whatever you want."

You know?

Although,
you could counter with,

"I'll come back from the dead
and go ankoku butoh on you."

You know?

Ankoku butoh would actually
be a good thing

to talk about on a first date.

You know how guys say, you know,
"I really like this girl,

Joe Bob, but I don't
think she's into horror.

Might be a deal-breaker for me."

So, pour a little sake, tell her
it's Japan Appreciation Month,

tell her you're gonna watch
some ankoku butoh together.

If she likes the skeletal,
naked, dead Asian dancers

popping their veins and
contracting their buttocks --

then that would ankoku butoh
bu-tocks -- if she likes

all that, then she just might
be the girl for you,

and if she doesn't,
she's gonna be nervous

as a long-tailed cat in a room
full of rocking chairs,

so you'll probably never
see her again anyway.

[Laughter]

[Static crackles]

-[Groans]

[Gasps]

[Groans]

[Syringe clatters]

[Groans]

[Groans]

[Groans]

[Groans]

[Gasps]

[Squishing]

[Gasps, groans]

[Groans]

[Breathing heavily]

[Gasps]

[Groans]

[Groans]

[Groans]

[Cranking]

[Groans]

[Gasps]

[Groans]

[Groans]

-[Squelching]
-[Screams]

[Groans]

[Groaning]

-[Breathing heavily]

-[Groans]

[Screams]

[Screams]

[Cord slicing]

-[Panting]

[Door opens]

[Door closes]

[Door closes]

-[Groans]

[Grunts]

[Panting]

[Sobbing]

[Breathing heavily]

[Water stops]

-[Sprays]
-Whoa!

[Sprays]

-[Screams]

[Thuds]

[Squelching]

-[Gasping]

[Sobs]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Singing in Japanese]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I don't want to abuse myself ♪

♪ I want to risk my emotions ♪

♪ I want to know who I am ♪

♪ I don't want to go insane ♪

♪ I don't want to abuse myself ♪

♪ I want to risk my emotions ♪

♪ I want to know who I am ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Static crackles]

♪♪

-Whoa!
Dream woman, right?

Aoyama still loves his
dead wife, his son, and his dog,

so of course, he must die
because he lied when he said

he would only love her.

This is actually
a psychologically accurate

portrayal of a certain type of
abuse victim, but then again,

we don't know how much of
Asami's abuse story is true,

and which abuse story is closest
to the truth, if any,

and none of that matters
anyway because I think --

and there are many, many
imminent critics who disagree

with this -- but I think from
the time Aoyama wakes up

in the hotel room bed
feeling drugged and finds out

that Asami has left the hotel,
which about the half way point

of the movie, I think from that
moment on, we are completely

inside the head of Aoyama.

The ballet studio with the man
in the wheelchair --

doesn't exist.

It's a project of Aoyama's
fevered imaginations.

The bar where somebody
was murdered and there are

body parts lying around --
doesn't exist.

It's a projection of
Aoyama's fear and guilt.

The second conversation at
the restaurant on their date,

the one we did not see before --
doesn't exist.

It's a projection of
Aoyama's strange interpretation

of why Asami left him.

And all this mind of
Aoyama stuff,

including the various sex
scenarios with various women,

are his overworked brain
trying to figure out what

he's afraid of, and then when
he falls on his back

the second time, the torture
scene may or may not be real,

because Miike gives us
an out there.

Miike takes us back
to the hotel room,

let's us see what
really happened.

She accepted his
marriage proposal,

or what he's now projecting
could have happened

when he's in an altered state.

So, Aoyama's guilt is so deep,
his self blame is so strong,

that he may have created Asami
or turned her into a killer,

and it's only the clear thinking
of his dead wife

and his wise-for-his-years
teenaged son that save him

from destroying himself.

I always get a chill from
the last few moments

of the film, when Asami says,

"I've been waiting and waiting
for your call.

I thought I'd never
see you again.

I'm so happy.
I can't stop smiling."

All those cliches
that people want to say

and people want to hear,
and now it sounds like

what she's really saying is,

"You can hear me now
because you're dead like me."

So, anyway, the debate about
which scenes are reality

and which are nightmares will
probably rage forever,

but I think if you study the way
the scenes are shot,

especially the switches
in points of view

and the handheld camera versus
the fixed camera decisions,

you have to come to
the conclusion that 99%

of everything after
the turning point of the movie,

which is in the bedroom,
where she undresses for Aoyama

and shows him her scars,
everything after that

is a desperation nightmare.

The movie is not about
her at all.

It's all about him.

Okay, the thing I keep going
back to is the fact that

Ryu Murakami, who wrote this
novel, and Takashi Miike,

who directed the film
adaptation, both say --

A -- it really happened.

I mean, Ryu Murakami is not
missing his feet,

but apparently, something
this dramatic happened

that started with an audition,
and Ryu Murakami

is a film director
besides being a novelist.

His most famous film --
in the West, anyway --

is "Tokyo Decadence."

Whoo!

I remember when
that movie came out.

That was one of those movies
that everyone went to see

because it was supposed
to be sexy,

but then when you see what
kind of sexy it is,

you leave going,
"I'm never going to Tokyo."

[Chuckles]

And Ryu Murakami loves stories
about sadomasochism,

and -- B -- it's a love letter,
indicating that as both

Aoyama and Asami lay dying
on the living room floor

looking into each other's eyes,
they're both still in love.

She's a jilted lover
who's set things right now,

and he's already forgiving her.

So, who's more psychotic,
her or him?

Alright, I could talk
about this movie all day,

but we got to keep moving.

"Audition" was first screened
at a tiny film festival

in Courmayeur, Italy.

The town has a French name
because it's up in the Alps

on the border with France,
and it caused such a sensation

that it was booked into
the Rotterdam Film Festival,

where it won first prize,

and it sort of
changed horror forever.

The first thing it did was
Takashi Miike a star.

This movie and "Visitor Q"
established him as, quote,

"that weird mad genius
from Japan

who puts torture in his movies."

In Europe, they called
"Audition" a feminist film.

In America, they called
it a misogynistic film.

It had an enormous influence
on American directors, though,

especially Eli Roth,
who had not yet done "Hostel."

Rob Zombie calls it
the creepiest movie

he's ever watched.

Also, another Asian film
came out at the very same time

as "Audition" called "The Isle",
and "The Isle" included

extreme physical torture,
and even though those films have

nothing to do with each other
and they're from

different countries --
"The Isle" is from Korea --

but even given that,
for a while,

it was assumed that there
was this new violent

kind of horror that
was coming out of Asia.

It was really just a matter of
timing, because while audiences

in Rotterdam were throwing up
after seeing "Audition",

audiences at
the Venice Film Festival

were throwing up watching
"The Isle",

which made Kim Ki-duk famous,
so the films got lumped together

as creating a new genre
called "Asia Extreme."

What was actually happening
is that American distributors

were just picking up the most
violent films for distribution.

Nothing had really changed
that much.

It had started earlier with
"Ringu", actually,

which didn't do that well
in the West until it was remade

as "The Ring."

And by the way,
Takashi Miike has now completed

his 103rd film, which is
a traditional Yakuza flick

called "First Love",
and he doesn't work

at quite the same pace anymore.

The year "Audition" came out,
he also directed

a TV miniseries, two TV movies,
and three other feature films.

That was his speed for about the
first 15 years of his career.

Okay, Darcy, come on over,
and, oh, man, I love this.

Okay.

You identify with Asami?

Ooh. Seriously.

-[Chittering]

-[Laughs]

You do that too well.

Have you ever wanted to stick
extremely long, sharp needles

into the eyes of a man
who wants to marry you?

-Oh, my God. Many times.

[Laughter]

Alright.

I guess that's
a universal thing, then.

I know it's time for this week's
Silver Bolo Award,

whereby we honor the best
in horror media

and mostly people who don't get
the attention they deserve,

people -- we're trying to give
them a boost because of their

excellent quality work, and so
this week, who are we honoring?

-Well, remember last season,
when we showed "Heathers"

and you said that we could
honor live theater as well as

traditional media?

-Yeah, I do remember that,
'cause I like live theater.

-Well, this week, we have our
very first live event winner.

Zombie Joe's Underground.

-I love the name.
-It's awesome.

It's an avant-garde theater
located in North Hollywood

specializing in
shocking productions.

It's been around for 25 years,

and they try to horrify
the audience.

-Okay.

I can't believe I've never been
to that place.

What do you mean
horrify the audience?

Like, what's an example
of a show?

-They did Edgar Allan Poe's
"Masque of the Red Death."

Oh, okay.

So, it's like live
versions of horror stories,

like the theater version
of a Roger Corman Poe movie.

-No, not really.

[Laughter]

Because they like to
take it to extremes.

Their signature show is called
"Urban Death",

and it's like macabre vignettes.

Their motto is,

"They disturb, they dismay,
and they discomfort you."

I've gone a whole bunch
of times, and I love it.

-So, it's like
"Bloodsucking Freaks",

the theater in
"Bloodsucking Freaks."

-No, it's not like that at all.

But if you need Grand Guignol,
then yes.

-Is that how you say that?

I can never say that.

I always said "Grand Gee-no."

Alright.
I need your help, Yuki.

Um, come on over.

I have the Silver Bolo
right here in my hand,

and I want to make sure
it's genuine silver,

so will you take this into
your silversmithery

and get it ready for -- who runs
Zombie Joe's Underground?

-Zombie Joe.
-Okay.

Do you know Zombie Joe?
-I do.

-Your life is so much more
exciting than mine.

I don't know a single person
with Zombie

as either a first name
or a last name.

Do you know Rob Zombie?

-I've met him
a couple times, yeah.

-Really? I haven't.

-What?

-You think he'd come
on this show?

-I actually do, yeah.

-Well, work on that.

You landed Chris Jericho,
you know.

Next assignment -- Rob Zombie.

-On it.
-Okay, Yuki,

see that the Silver Bolo
is delivered to Zombie Joe,

and, Yuki, how do
you say this, Yuki?

How do you say that?

-Grand Guignol.
-Grand Guignol.

-Nailed that.
-Okay. Thank you.

Well, that's it for tonight.

Always remember --
life is simpler

when you plow around the stump.

The drive-in will never die.

Darcy, which block of cheese
directed giallo movies

in the '70s?

-Is that really
a question for me?

[Chuckles]
-Yes.

Which block of cheese directed
giallo movies in the '70s?

-I don't know.

-Dario Sargento.

[Laughter]

-So cheesy.

[Laughter]

♪♪

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