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1
00:00:33,494 --> 00:00:35,494
I don't give a shit what you say, Matt.
2
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,843
The yellow sun may give
him plenty of powers,
3
00:00:40,830 --> 00:00:44,077
but there's no way it has
any effect on his dick.
4
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:45,817
The fact that you think for a second
5
00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:49,447
that the Bat's dick is bigger
than Superman blows my mind
6
00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:51,817
and has me questioning your sanity.
7
00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:53,587
Do you really think that the Kryptonians
8
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:55,447
would send some baby dick fuck
9
00:00:55,530 --> 00:00:57,723
as the last representation
of their people?
10
00:00:59,370 --> 00:01:00,547
Known fact, though,
11
00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:02,587
House of El men, hung like meese.
12
00:01:02,670 --> 00:01:03,427
You know what?
13
00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:05,257
I'm not gonna argue with someone,
14
00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:07,447
who thinks there's a
person in the universe
15
00:01:07,530 --> 00:01:10,533
that's packing as much
heat as Bruce Wayne.
16
00:01:13,170 --> 00:01:15,633
Mutants excluded, obviously.
17
00:01:29,687 --> 00:01:30,933
Empire Toys.
18
00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:38,767
Hello?
19
00:01:38,850 --> 00:01:40,364
Empire Toys.
20
00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:43,507
Dude, don't even go there.
21
00:01:43,590 --> 00:01:45,127
I know what you're gonna say.
22
00:01:45,210 --> 00:01:47,407
It's been exactly one
year tomorrow, Chuck.
23
00:01:47,490 --> 00:01:49,657
Yeah, and that shit had
nothing to do with us.
24
00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:52,717
Ross had his heart
removed from his body.
25
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,927
And Ross worked here for, like, a month?
26
00:01:56,010 --> 00:01:59,707
I'm telling you, dude,
Cincy and NARC went crazy,
27
00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:01,447
and they murdered all those people.
28
00:02:01,530 --> 00:02:02,977
There's no such thing as Acula
29
00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:04,987
or any other demons for that matter.
30
00:02:05,070 --> 00:02:05,820
No way, dude.
31
00:02:05,903 --> 00:02:08,107
The police completely cleared Cincy Nerd
32
00:02:08,190 --> 00:02:09,907
and NARC on all that.
33
00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:12,817
Plus, nobody's seen or
heard from NARC in a year.
34
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:16,109
Yeah, it's because Cincy
chopped him up, fucking ate him.
35
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,267
Wind?
36
00:02:19,350 --> 00:02:20,521
You're kidding, right?
37
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,923
Rob left the door open again.
38
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,947
You guys are still here?
39
00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:45,817
Holy shit.
40
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,857
What are you still doing here?
41
00:02:47,940 --> 00:02:49,237
Full disclosure?
42
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:50,153
I don't know.
43
00:02:53,910 --> 00:02:56,973
Yo, he ate all the Scooby snacks.
44
00:02:58,140 --> 00:03:01,177
There's enough weed in
there to last us a month.
45
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,153
The fucker owes us 80 bucks.
46
00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:05,707
Just take it out of his check.
47
00:03:05,790 --> 00:03:08,433
Don't say shit, we
can get sued for that.
48
00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:12,367
-All right, just take the trash out.
-I'll give you a ride home.
49
00:03:12,450 --> 00:03:13,747
The trash?
50
00:03:13,830 --> 00:03:14,663
Thanks, Matt.
51
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:17,737
I love you.
52
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:18,663
Love you too?
53
00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:20,943
I love him.
54
00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:23,856
I love you too.
55
00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:27,053
It's always something with you.
56
00:03:27,136 --> 00:03:28,881
Because you're
a fucking piece of shit.
57
00:03:36,687 --> 00:03:38,557
Oh, 100%.
58
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,687
Absolutely, you're sure?
59
00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:41,603
-Yeah.
-Okay.
60
00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:44,737
No joke, I'm taking the marijuana treats
61
00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:46,567
out of his goddamn check.
62
00:03:46,650 --> 00:03:49,367
I'm surprised the diabetic
fuck is still standing.
63
00:04:08,135 --> 00:04:08,968
Hello?
64
00:04:40,345 --> 00:04:41,734
Holy shit!
65
00:04:49,953 --> 00:04:51,993
Get the door, get the door!
66
00:05:00,537 --> 00:05:02,947
The one time you're
right about something.
67
00:05:03,030 --> 00:05:04,417
It has to be murder?
68
00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:06,054
Fuck.
69
00:05:11,918 --> 00:05:12,668
What do we do?
70
00:05:12,751 --> 00:05:14,017
-What are we gonna do?
-You need to shh!
71
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:15,367
Shut the fuck up.
72
00:05:15,450 --> 00:05:17,084
Give me your phone.
73
00:05:17,167 --> 00:05:19,507
I left it in the back room.
74
00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:21,323
I was putting stuff on the website.
75
00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:24,330
The one day you decide to go to work.
76
00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:26,873
Just use your phone.
77
00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:31,503
I left it in the bathroom.
78
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,107
I always knew your poop habits
79
00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:36,907
were gonna be the death of us.
80
00:05:36,990 --> 00:05:38,913
Just relax.
81
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:44,167
Whoever that was, can't get
in without a key, right?
82
00:06:25,781 --> 00:06:28,486
♪ I put the knife in my heart ♪
83
00:06:28,569 --> 00:06:33,506
♪ I don't remember to bite ♪
84
00:06:33,589 --> 00:06:36,786
♪ Over and over ♪
85
00:06:36,869 --> 00:06:41,114
♪ My hands forever tied
down watch as your smile ♪
86
00:06:41,197 --> 00:06:42,365
Dad, can I have some eggs?
87
00:06:42,448 --> 00:06:43,345
Oh, me, too.
88
00:06:45,067 --> 00:06:48,375
♪ I'm left over ♪
89
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:53,291
♪ I don't want you to
be happy without me ♪
90
00:06:54,319 --> 00:06:55,995
He doesn't love us anymore.
91
00:06:59,645 --> 00:07:04,645
♪ I don't want you to
be happy without me ♪
92
00:07:05,966 --> 00:07:08,883
♪ Happy without me ♪
93
00:07:30,337 --> 00:07:31,837
Here we go.
94
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:35,077
They told us to bring
something that was special to us.
95
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,883
We brought our favorite games
and toys, comics, you know.
96
00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:44,511
Next thing I know, they throw
it all in a box and bury it.
97
00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:48,093
Well, guess what?
98
00:07:49,740 --> 00:07:51,121
They just dug it up.
99
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,068
Next.
100
00:07:53,984 --> 00:07:58,327
And because no one has any
idea how she exploded heads,
101
00:07:58,410 --> 00:08:00,487
we're supposed to believe in possessions?
102
00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:02,718
We're supposed to believe in possessions?
103
00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:04,413
Jesus Christ.
104
00:08:06,932 --> 00:08:08,767
Those guys 100% killed all those people
105
00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:10,267
with that crazy chick.
106
00:08:10,350 --> 00:08:11,557
No doubt about it.
107
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,147
Plus, one of them's bald,
108
00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:17,377
and there's a huge long
history of evil do-gooders,
109
00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:20,617
no do-gooders with zero hair follicles.
110
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:25,048
-I mean, we got Lex Luthor, we got...
-Next.
111
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:31,550
I mean, I know for a fact that Cincy
and NARC they did not kill anybody.
112
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:33,903
No, they didn't.
113
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,150
You got that right, Burt.
114
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,977
Maybe they did, I don't know.
115
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,160
I honestly don't know.
116
00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:49,834
-Demons have rights, too.
-Free the Princess.
117
00:08:49,917 --> 00:08:51,054
Free the Princess.
118
00:08:51,137 --> 00:08:52,142
Free the Princess!
119
00:08:52,225 --> 00:08:55,357
A crowd of protesters gathered
outside Retro Plaza in Bedford today,
120
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:58,117
marking the one year
anniversary of the mysterious
121
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,477
and tragic deaths that
shook the small town.
122
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,537
The incident left several
dead inside Retro Plaza
123
00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:06,427
under circumstances authorities
124
00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:08,977
never fully explained to the public.
125
00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:12,397
Initial investigations centered
on two well-known figures
126
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,857
in the retro collecting community.
127
00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:19,473
Cincy Nerd and Craig Roberts,
known online as NARC.
128
00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:24,967
I should get going.
129
00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:26,347
Can you take the girls to school?
130
00:09:26,430 --> 00:09:27,453
Yeah, I can.
131
00:09:28,710 --> 00:09:29,587
Bye.
132
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:30,757
Thanks.
133
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,352
-I made 'em breakfast.
-Okay.
134
00:09:36,257 --> 00:09:38,696
Demon season.
135
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,036
Demon season.
136
00:09:41,603 --> 00:09:42,932
Demon season.
137
00:09:44,595 --> 00:09:45,683
Demon season.
138
00:09:47,343 --> 00:09:48,370
Demon season.
139
00:09:50,119 --> 00:09:51,148
Demon season.
140
00:09:52,862 --> 00:09:53,945
Demon season.
141
00:09:55,651 --> 00:09:57,213
Demon season.
142
00:10:08,768 --> 00:10:10,746
Free The princess.
143
00:10:10,829 --> 00:10:12,374
Free the Princess.
144
00:10:12,457 --> 00:10:13,732
Free the Princess.
145
00:10:13,815 --> 00:10:15,217
Free the Princess.
146
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,787
Free the Princess.
147
00:10:16,870 --> 00:10:18,244
Free the Princess.
148
00:10:22,257 --> 00:10:24,307
I'm not even supposed to be here today.
149
00:10:28,162 --> 00:10:29,302
Cincy sucks.
150
00:10:29,385 --> 00:10:30,639
Cincy sucks.
151
00:10:30,722 --> 00:10:31,982
Cincy sucks.
152
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:32,999
Cincy sucks.
153
00:10:33,915 --> 00:10:35,107
Good morning, everyone.
154
00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:37,597
If you don't mind, please
leave some parking spots open
155
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,837
for some actual paying customers.
156
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,787
You can't trap us on
the witch board, nerd.
157
00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:44,887
She was a freaking demon princess.
158
00:10:44,970 --> 00:10:48,629
Sounds like someone doesn't
want a woman in power.
159
00:10:48,712 --> 00:10:49,629
Free Acula.
160
00:10:50,531 --> 00:10:51,992
Free the Princess.
161
00:10:52,075 --> 00:10:53,227
Free the Princess.
162
00:10:53,310 --> 00:10:54,453
Demons have rights.
163
00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:07,797
Cincy sucks.
164
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,325
Cincy sucks.
165
00:11:09,408 --> 00:11:10,767
Cincy sucks.
166
00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:12,333
Cincy sucks.
167
00:11:12,416 --> 00:11:13,992
Cincy sucks.
168
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,347
Who the fuck are you?
169
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:24,320
Uh...
170
00:11:28,046 --> 00:11:29,253
Ow.
171
00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:34,353
Who the fuck are you?
172
00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:37,733
Cincy?
173
00:11:38,670 --> 00:11:40,627
You're not supposed to be here today.
174
00:11:40,710 --> 00:11:43,113
Yeah, I'm training the
new guy at Retro today.
175
00:11:44,352 --> 00:11:46,923
It's 10:00 AM, Sam.
176
00:11:47,850 --> 00:11:48,783
10:00 AM.
177
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:51,276
Cincy sucks.
178
00:11:51,359 --> 00:11:52,359
Cincy sucks.
179
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,480
You're still doing me later.
180
00:11:58,931 --> 00:12:01,459
-Free the Princess.
-Free the Princess.
181
00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:04,222
-Free the Princess. Free the Princess.
-Acula deserves better.
182
00:12:04,305 --> 00:12:06,607
-Free the Princess.
-Demons have rights, too.
183
00:12:06,690 --> 00:12:09,547
This is our vintage video game section.
184
00:12:09,630 --> 00:12:11,894
Oh yeah, and whenever a
customer comes in, can you say,
185
00:12:11,977 --> 00:12:13,927
"Welcome to Retro, have a radical time."
186
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,104
Yeah, that's awesome.
187
00:12:15,187 --> 00:12:16,435
Free the Princess.
188
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:17,875
Free the Princess.
189
00:12:17,958 --> 00:12:19,326
Free the Princess.
190
00:12:19,409 --> 00:12:20,875
Free the Princess.
191
00:12:20,958 --> 00:12:22,406
Free the Princess.
192
00:12:22,489 --> 00:12:24,006
Free the Princess.
193
00:12:24,089 --> 00:12:25,635
Free the Princess.
194
00:12:25,718 --> 00:12:27,115
Free the Princess.
195
00:12:27,198 --> 00:12:28,235
Oh.
196
00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:34,597
Boo longer or he won't sell.
197
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,447
Good afternoon, you little devils.
198
00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:40,327
You are on a dark path, a misguided path.
199
00:12:40,410 --> 00:12:44,317
But don't you worry, just a
few drops of my Jesus Juice,
200
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,210
and you'll be seeing the light.
201
00:12:47,293 --> 00:12:49,111
Yes, yeah.
202
00:12:50,991 --> 00:12:52,311
Fuck no.
203
00:12:52,394 --> 00:12:54,599
Fuck you, you motherfucker.
204
00:12:54,682 --> 00:12:55,599
Boo! Bitch.
205
00:13:06,781 --> 00:13:09,135
Fuck this asshole!
206
00:13:11,899 --> 00:13:14,163
-Who's next?
-No, no, no, no, no, no.
207
00:13:15,116 --> 00:13:17,737
-No.
-Damn, selling out now.
208
00:13:17,820 --> 00:13:18,757
If a guy comes in here
209
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,407
with a big tub full of Beanie Babies,
210
00:13:20,490 --> 00:13:24,187
just tell him Dallas Vintage
Toys or 181 Comics buys them.
211
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:25,477
It'll buy us a little bit of time
212
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,247
before he comes back
around and tries again.
213
00:13:27,330 --> 00:13:29,257
So no Beanie Babies then?
214
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:30,337
Cincy?
215
00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:33,457
So that bus just pulled up
into the parking lot again.
216
00:13:33,540 --> 00:13:34,290
Dammit.
217
00:13:34,373 --> 00:13:36,217
All right. Hang tight, Mitch.
218
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:38,647
Yeah, hey, can I use the bathroom?
219
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:39,637
Sure, go ahead.
220
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,866
About to blow
that motherfucker up.
221
00:13:59,665 --> 00:14:00,415
Anybody else?
222
00:14:00,498 --> 00:14:03,577
-No, Sabrina, come on.
-No! No!
223
00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:05,417
Sabrina, you had good a life.
224
00:14:06,897 --> 00:14:08,617
Ah, good afternoon.
225
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,147
How many times do we have to do this?
226
00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:12,277
You can't sell drugs
in front of my stores.
227
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:13,117
Drugs?
228
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,287
Who's selling drugs?
229
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:18,423
I'm, I'm delivering salvation
to these misguided souls.
230
00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:20,827
Whoa, whoa, what the hell?
231
00:14:20,910 --> 00:14:23,253
-Jesus rocks.
-Whoa.
232
00:14:25,088 --> 00:14:25,921
No, no!
233
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,750
That's it, I'm calling the cops.
234
00:14:33,690 --> 00:14:35,973
How long before this shit kicks in?
235
00:14:37,020 --> 00:14:40,327
30 minutes-ish, and
I'd get somewhere safe.
236
00:14:40,410 --> 00:14:42,457
Somewhere you feel comfortable.
237
00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:45,127
And until we meet again, may God hold you
238
00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:46,593
in the palm of his hand.
239
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:48,450
And good luck,
240
00:14:48,533 --> 00:14:50,289
'cause you're in for a fucking ride.
241
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,227
I hate you St. Patrick.
242
00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:57,637
And I love you.
243
00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:58,733
Get fucked.
244
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:02,167
Empire Toys is dead.
245
00:15:02,250 --> 00:15:04,477
That's right, you heard it here first.
246
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:08,887
Matt, Chuck, and Rod of
Empire Toys in Keller, Texas
247
00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:12,817
were found slain in
their very own toy store.
248
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:14,317
Holy shit.
249
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:19,400
And the police have zero
leads, which means one thing.
250
00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:22,597
The killer is still out there.
251
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:23,857
Times are tough.
252
00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:26,317
And let me tell you, guys,
when times are tough,
253
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,594
you could use the Toys of He-Man
254
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:30,307
and the Masters of the Universe.
255
00:15:30,390 --> 00:15:34,237
My book, which is available
now in all bookstores.
256
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,370
Are you the killer?
257
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:40,153
Die!
258
00:15:40,236 --> 00:15:42,935
Until next time.
259
00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:02,587
We gotta close up.
260
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:03,637
Why, what happened?
261
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,137
Two words.
262
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,483
Jesus Juice.
263
00:16:10,662 --> 00:16:12,933
Mitch, we're closing up early.
264
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:15,533
Mitch.
265
00:16:37,739 --> 00:16:39,907
Oh, my God, I'm in the sequel.
266
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:42,217
Holy shit, she's back.
267
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:43,417
Wait, what?
268
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,707
Um. Should I call the cops?
269
00:16:44,790 --> 00:16:45,540
No.
270
00:16:45,623 --> 00:16:48,307
I mean, yes, of course, but
I can't be here for that.
271
00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:49,717
You need to deal with them.
272
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,877
I need to get out of here.
Just tell 'em it was my day off
273
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:52,777
-or something.
-What?
274
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:53,610
Why?
275
00:16:53,693 --> 00:16:55,027
What if they find out that you are here?
276
00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:56,407
Listen, the police tried to convict me
277
00:16:56,490 --> 00:16:57,937
for all those murders last year.
278
00:16:58,020 --> 00:17:00,577
If I stay here, I am fucked.
279
00:17:00,660 --> 00:17:01,627
Where are you gonna go?
280
00:17:01,710 --> 00:17:03,007
I don't know.
281
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,657
I do have one idea, though.
282
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:06,640
Try not to blow anyone while I'm gone.
283
00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:19,597
-Well, look who it is.
-Look, I don't have time for this today.
284
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,787
Then just give me my uncle's knife back.
285
00:17:21,870 --> 00:17:23,497
I don't have your uncle's knife.
286
00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:25,807
And from what I understand,
you sold it to Horror Freak.
287
00:17:25,890 --> 00:17:28,207
Correction, I was
robbed by Horror Freak.
288
00:17:28,290 --> 00:17:31,240
Those two buff fucking bozos
knew they were ripping me off.
289
00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,327
What's up, horror freaks?
290
00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:37,357
Man, we just got this
awesome movie prop knife
291
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,067
from this fuckboy, Jordan.
292
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:41,467
Man, we seriously ripped this fool off.
293
00:17:41,550 --> 00:17:42,757
What an idiot.
294
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,607
But anyways, make sure to come
down here and check it out.
295
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,340
Highlight your motherfuckin' boy!
296
00:17:49,140 --> 00:17:52,297
Ouch! Yeah, it's not a good look.
297
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:54,427
But like I've told you all year long,
298
00:17:54,510 --> 00:17:56,737
I inherited this place
when Eric was murdered
299
00:17:56,820 --> 00:17:57,967
with that exact same knife.
300
00:17:58,050 --> 00:18:00,500
Then it's your responsibility
to make it right.
301
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,607
Now, where is it?
302
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:05,137
Last time I saw your knife,
303
00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:07,503
it was sticking out of my fucking back.
304
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:13,177
So you admit it.
305
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,643
You touched it last.
306
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:24,877
Hey, you think if I take
more of this, it would help?
307
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,553
They're gonna regret not
buying my Beanie Babies.
308
00:18:45,437 --> 00:18:46,270
Oh God.
309
00:19:09,033 --> 00:19:11,103
It's green, let's go.
310
00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:13,283
Beep, beep.
311
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:17,523
Go.
312
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:25,942
Ugh.
313
00:19:31,890 --> 00:19:33,667
Come on, man!
314
00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:34,923
Fucking go!
315
00:19:39,454 --> 00:19:41,259
You're really fucking me here, buddy.
316
00:19:42,150 --> 00:19:44,170
DJ, the light's green.
317
00:19:44,253 --> 00:19:45,654
Ah!
318
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:28,393
Cincy sucks.
319
00:20:28,476 --> 00:20:29,743
Cincy sucks.
320
00:20:29,826 --> 00:20:31,094
Cincy sucks.
321
00:20:31,177 --> 00:20:32,633
Cincy sucks.
322
00:20:32,716 --> 00:20:33,873
Cincy sucks.
323
00:20:33,956 --> 00:20:35,404
Cincy sucks.
324
00:20:35,487 --> 00:20:36,487
Cincy sucks.
325
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:46,550
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
326
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:49,835
How am I supposed to
take down Acula alone?
327
00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:53,493
All my stupid friends are dead.
328
00:20:56,730 --> 00:20:57,723
Oh, shit.
329
00:20:59,490 --> 00:21:00,752
It's kicking in.
330
00:21:01,668 --> 00:21:02,595
This is gonna suck.
331
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:06,933
Quiet down.
332
00:21:08,610 --> 00:21:10,327
Quiet down, class.
333
00:21:10,410 --> 00:21:11,253
Shut up!
334
00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:18,303
Welcome to Ms. Tillum's Time Capsule Day.
335
00:21:22,025 --> 00:21:23,870
I remember this day.
336
00:21:23,953 --> 00:21:25,462
I remember this day.
337
00:21:25,545 --> 00:21:29,467
Time capsules.
338
00:21:29,550 --> 00:21:30,993
Time capsule '89.
339
00:21:32,302 --> 00:21:33,402
Man, we were so young.
340
00:21:34,410 --> 00:21:35,977
These are my Care Bear friends,
341
00:21:36,060 --> 00:21:37,833
and I'm going to bury them.
342
00:21:40,140 --> 00:21:41,917
This is He-Man and Battle Cat.
343
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:42,750
NARC?
344
00:21:42,833 --> 00:21:44,107
-Rescue.
-What's a NARC?
345
00:21:44,190 --> 00:21:45,428
I'm Craig.
346
00:21:47,010 --> 00:21:49,383
Seven Shakes going in a time capsule.
347
00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:51,907
I'm gonna put my Game Boy in here
348
00:21:51,990 --> 00:21:53,493
because I just played the NES.
349
00:21:55,430 --> 00:21:56,680
You're not my NARC yet.
350
00:21:59,460 --> 00:22:04,387
Mark McGuire, Pete Rose, Roger
Clemens, and Kurt Chilling.
351
00:22:04,470 --> 00:22:08,167
I have four future Hall of
Famers going in the time capsule.
352
00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:10,597
Did you rearrange my collection?
353
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,207
Did you rearrange my collection?
354
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:15,987
Did you rearrange my collection?
355
00:22:26,550 --> 00:22:29,467
All right, miss, that's
gonna wrap up my job here.
356
00:22:29,550 --> 00:22:30,937
Reckon the boys in blue will be here soon
357
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:32,377
to clean up that mess.
358
00:22:32,460 --> 00:22:33,547
It's all good.
359
00:22:33,630 --> 00:22:35,257
Today was his first day anyway.
360
00:22:35,340 --> 00:22:37,267
And that bathroom, it
needed a clean up crew
361
00:22:37,350 --> 00:22:38,583
way before the murder.
362
00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:43,567
Anyway, have a good day.
363
00:22:43,650 --> 00:22:45,203
Donny, this is Fife.
364
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:47,737
Yeah, we got another one.
365
00:22:47,820 --> 00:22:50,377
If we don't catch 'em
before they get to 13,
366
00:22:50,460 --> 00:22:53,110
then there's gonna be no
stopping the reign of Acula.
367
00:23:02,544 --> 00:23:04,607
What the fuck.
368
00:23:10,020 --> 00:23:11,720
Jesus Christ, you're a sore loser.
369
00:23:19,135 --> 00:23:24,135
Did you
rearrange my collection?
370
00:23:24,253 --> 00:23:29,253
Did you rearrange my collection?
371
00:23:30,133 --> 00:23:32,587
-Can you answer my question?
-Did you rearrange my collection?
372
00:23:32,670 --> 00:23:34,068
NARC?
373
00:23:34,151 --> 00:23:34,984
Oh.
374
00:23:37,140 --> 00:23:38,887
Dude, is this fourth
grade Ms. Tillum's class?
375
00:23:38,970 --> 00:23:40,327
Yes. Dude.
376
00:23:40,410 --> 00:23:41,497
I think the universe is trying
377
00:23:41,580 --> 00:23:43,793
to tell me something important right now.
378
00:23:43,876 --> 00:23:47,017
Libby Winks.
379
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:49,443
Okay. Michael, why don't you present?
380
00:23:52,380 --> 00:23:53,213
Boston Mike.
381
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,227
Hey, I'm gonna put this g-genie.
382
00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:58,717
I'm mean lamp in the box.
383
00:23:58,800 --> 00:23:59,857
A genie?
384
00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:01,807
Michael, I told you to bring something
385
00:24:01,890 --> 00:24:03,397
that represents the 1980s.
386
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,167
That looks super old.
387
00:24:05,250 --> 00:24:06,757
I'm still gonna do it.
388
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,337
That's it, the fucking genie.
389
00:24:09,420 --> 00:24:10,447
Fuck the Yankees.
390
00:24:10,530 --> 00:24:12,757
Mike Swirl was real all those years.
391
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,677
They just dug that thing up.
392
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,803
I can get that lamp and bring you back.
393
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,447
But Cincy, I'm here.
394
00:24:19,530 --> 00:24:20,823
I'm here.
395
00:24:20,906 --> 00:24:22,297
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
396
00:24:22,380 --> 00:24:25,237
Cincy, it's time to go home now.
397
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:26,437
I'm here.
398
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:27,547
I'm here.
399
00:24:27,630 --> 00:24:28,463
I'm here!
400
00:24:34,397 --> 00:24:35,679
Cincy, Cincy.
401
00:24:36,630 --> 00:24:37,987
Craig?
402
00:24:38,070 --> 00:24:38,903
What?
403
00:24:42,060 --> 00:24:43,567
What are you doing here?
404
00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:44,763
I beat Jesus at UNO.
405
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:46,873
What?
406
00:24:47,731 --> 00:24:48,607
Fucking aye.
407
00:24:48,690 --> 00:24:51,277
Cincy and NARC back together again.
408
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:53,017
We're gonna need some backup, though.
409
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:54,847
Acula possessed someone else.
410
00:24:54,930 --> 00:24:56,137
We don't know who it is.
411
00:24:56,220 --> 00:24:58,203
Okay, before we do,
412
00:25:00,390 --> 00:25:02,674
are my Scooby snacks still over there?
413
00:25:02,757 --> 00:25:04,182
♪ How the hell can I ♪
414
00:25:07,066 --> 00:25:08,463
♪ Without cashing in ♪
415
00:25:08,546 --> 00:25:13,546
♪ My heroes have all died in battle ♪
416
00:25:13,936 --> 00:25:18,936
♪ So cut off my hands at the wrists ♪
417
00:25:19,561 --> 00:25:24,561
♪ The streets will run
red with our blood now ♪
418
00:25:25,212 --> 00:25:28,017
♪ The streets will run red ♪
419
00:25:28,100 --> 00:25:33,100
♪ The streets will run red with my love ♪
420
00:25:35,180 --> 00:25:40,180
♪ My vendetta black ♪
421
00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:42,960
♪ Lie ♪
422
00:25:43,043 --> 00:25:44,253
Is that Burf?
423
00:25:46,260 --> 00:25:47,486
Hey, it's your boy Burf
424
00:25:47,569 --> 00:25:49,537
and we're in Elm Street
toys in Allen, Texas.
425
00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:51,937
What you got for me today Elm Street Toys?
426
00:25:52,020 --> 00:25:53,343
What you got for me today?
427
00:25:54,180 --> 00:25:55,837
Man I can't wait to get in here.
428
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,017
We're gonna kill it, man. We're
gonna find some killer toys.
429
00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:00,245
It's gonna be good.
430
00:26:01,161 --> 00:26:02,797
Hey, see if you can
get with Patrick tonight
431
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:04,927
and get some more of that juice.
432
00:26:05,010 --> 00:26:07,597
Oh my God. Look at this
leather face I just found.
433
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,885
This thing's fricking awesome.
434
00:26:09,968 --> 00:26:11,645
♪ He's on that jazz man ♪
435
00:26:11,728 --> 00:26:12,478
♪ He's on that jazz ♪
436
00:26:12,561 --> 00:26:13,597
Hey, hold on. Gimme a second.
437
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,517
I gotta get this fricking nerd out.
438
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:16,996
♪ He's on the jazz man ♪
439
00:26:17,079 --> 00:26:18,379
The jiggy G-Excuse me.
440
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,277
Hello?
441
00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:22,923
I'm sorry. We're closed now.
442
00:26:23,850 --> 00:26:24,937
Okay. All right.
443
00:26:25,020 --> 00:26:27,104
Well, I guess we gotta go, guys.
444
00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:43,187
Hello?
445
00:26:50,999 --> 00:26:53,075
Ah!
446
00:27:04,759 --> 00:27:05,592
No!
447
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:10,461
Please!
448
00:27:18,538 --> 00:27:21,247
No, not Brenda.
449
00:27:21,330 --> 00:27:24,847
This addition to the body
count piling up in Texas hurts.
450
00:27:24,930 --> 00:27:26,587
A close personal friend of mine,
451
00:27:26,670 --> 00:27:29,257
Brenda Ortega from Elm Street Toys
452
00:27:29,340 --> 00:27:31,207
was killed this afternoon.
453
00:27:31,290 --> 00:27:34,417
I was toy hunting at a few
yard sales when I got the news.
454
00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:36,157
You can find those videos linked below
455
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,137
if you want to check
'em out after this one.
456
00:27:38,220 --> 00:27:39,757
Rest in peace, Brenda.
457
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:41,703
Love ya. Bye.
458
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,760
Did we get a new wiener schnitzel?
459
00:27:46,380 --> 00:27:48,367
Ah, dude, how's my channel doing?
460
00:27:48,450 --> 00:27:50,403
Did it go full viral after I died?
461
00:27:51,538 --> 00:27:53,197
Uh. Not so much, man.
462
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,543
Well, how's it doing?
463
00:27:59,340 --> 00:28:02,317
NARC is dead. Literally and digitally.
464
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,357
We haven't seen a single new upload
465
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,907
on "Not another retro
channel" since his vanishing.
466
00:28:06,990 --> 00:28:08,827
But that is until today.
467
00:28:08,910 --> 00:28:11,587
Today we got to meet YARC,
a new YouTube channel
468
00:28:11,670 --> 00:28:14,332
with a completely new rebrand.
469
00:28:19,620 --> 00:28:22,710
You are witnessing the
dawn of YARC.
470
00:28:28,410 --> 00:28:29,973
I was fucking hacked.
471
00:28:40,620 --> 00:28:42,547
Yo, let me get your phone.
I want to do a video.
472
00:28:42,630 --> 00:28:43,597
-What?
-Yeah.
473
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,573
No, we're gonna keep moving.
474
00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:48,127
Fine.
475
00:28:48,210 --> 00:28:49,627
But after we take down Acula,
476
00:28:49,710 --> 00:28:51,910
you're gonna have to
give some store credit.
477
00:29:02,490 --> 00:29:04,147
Now remember what I said in the car?
478
00:29:04,230 --> 00:29:07,117
She's just Jen now, not Acula.
479
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,933
She's not possessed
anymore, so don't freak out.
480
00:29:12,070 --> 00:29:15,663
She's a raging
lesbian. So no gay jokes.
481
00:29:16,851 --> 00:29:18,051
You're gay.
482
00:29:29,101 --> 00:29:29,934
68,
483
00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:32,394
69.
484
00:29:33,252 --> 00:29:34,502
Nice.
485
00:29:51,630 --> 00:29:53,673
Um. Hey, Jen.
486
00:29:54,540 --> 00:29:56,857
Um, this is NARC.
487
00:29:56,940 --> 00:30:00,093
NARC, this is Jen.
488
00:30:01,140 --> 00:30:02,013
I remember you.
489
00:30:06,030 --> 00:30:07,927
She's scarier now than
when she was possessed.
490
00:30:08,010 --> 00:30:09,464
Shut the fuck up.
491
00:30:11,370 --> 00:30:12,903
How'd you end up here?
492
00:30:15,416 --> 00:30:17,907
It was that motherfucker
St. Peter up there.
493
00:30:21,270 --> 00:30:23,243
That's why I don't like Peter's anymore.
494
00:30:28,140 --> 00:30:29,493
Wouldn't even let me in.
495
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:33,007
Said that he saw me kill 20 people.
496
00:30:33,090 --> 00:30:35,313
And before I could even defend myself,
497
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,433
he kicked me in my fucking face.
498
00:30:39,660 --> 00:30:40,717
Fell back down to Earth
499
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,450
through the Horror Freak ceiling.
500
00:30:44,130 --> 00:30:47,857
Then, I'm lying on the
floor and this asshole
501
00:30:47,940 --> 00:30:50,290
is fucking spraying me
in the face with Windex.
502
00:30:51,570 --> 00:30:53,107
None of that matters anymore.
503
00:30:53,190 --> 00:30:57,547
The only thing that matters
is that Acula is back.
504
00:30:57,630 --> 00:31:01,443
It's time to clear your name
and save the fucking world.
505
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,033
All right. What's the plan?
506
00:31:07,230 --> 00:31:11,043
Cincy has a plan, it fucking
sucks, but he has a plan.
507
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,227
We're gonna break into
our childhood school
508
00:31:17,310 --> 00:31:19,207
and steal a time capsule
that may or may not
509
00:31:19,290 --> 00:31:21,337
have a genie named George
in it that we're going
510
00:31:21,420 --> 00:31:25,233
to use to bring people back to
help us take this bitch down.
511
00:31:31,350 --> 00:31:32,183
All right.
512
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,242
I don't really know what the
fuck you just said, but let's do it.
513
00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:38,557
Shotgun on the shotgun?
514
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,343
No, not those. Too obvious.
515
00:31:42,420 --> 00:31:44,673
We'll bring the modified ones.
516
00:32:06,542 --> 00:32:07,292
Oh ho.
517
00:32:07,375 --> 00:32:08,647
God bless, God bless.
518
00:32:08,730 --> 00:32:11,077
Speaking of which, who blessed the batch?
519
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:12,307
What you talking about?
520
00:32:12,390 --> 00:32:13,140
The, the batch.
521
00:32:13,223 --> 00:32:14,587
Was it Father Henry again?
522
00:32:14,670 --> 00:32:16,773
Yeah. Father Henry did his thing.
523
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,057
You should have seen it today.
524
00:32:19,140 --> 00:32:21,997
So many souls to save. It was beautiful.
525
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,167
I bet it was.
526
00:32:23,250 --> 00:32:25,267
Even less customers for the store. Right?
527
00:32:25,350 --> 00:32:26,183
Come and go.
528
00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:30,427
Think another one of those retro freaks
was killed there today, you know?
529
00:32:30,510 --> 00:32:31,747
Ah.
530
00:32:31,830 --> 00:32:32,827
That's, that's too bad.
531
00:32:32,910 --> 00:32:35,683
Well, hey, I hope their soul
found their way to heaven.
532
00:32:35,766 --> 00:32:37,117
Yeah. Yeah, me too.
533
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:38,617
But for now, let's lay low.
534
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:40,177
Just stay put for the night, okay?
535
00:32:40,260 --> 00:32:42,517
Stay, stay put. Like stay put here.
536
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:43,477
This is the toy store.
537
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:44,793
Someone was killed here.
538
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:47,917
Don't be such a pussy.
539
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,550
You have the Lord on your side.
540
00:32:51,030 --> 00:32:53,083
That I do. That I do.
541
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:02,917
Coast is clear.
542
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,327
Stay down you dumb shits.
543
00:33:04,410 --> 00:33:05,887
She finds out a couple of 30 year olds
544
00:33:05,970 --> 00:33:07,777
are sneaking in and out of a school
545
00:33:07,860 --> 00:33:09,254
it's probably not gonna look great.
546
00:33:09,337 --> 00:33:11,617
-You wish we were 30?
-Why don't we just run?
547
00:33:11,700 --> 00:33:12,903
You wish we could run.
548
00:33:13,740 --> 00:33:15,907
The fucking Game Chasers.
549
00:33:15,990 --> 00:33:17,857
Who the hell are these guys?
550
00:33:17,940 --> 00:33:19,717
Craig and I
went to school with them.
551
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:21,907
Hey, that's that that
motherfucker that hacked my channel.
552
00:33:21,990 --> 00:33:23,343
What are we waiting for?
553
00:33:25,624 --> 00:33:27,847
Aargh! Keep still.
554
00:33:27,930 --> 00:33:29,077
Yeah, let's go get 'em.
555
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,357
I'm in the mood to kick some dicks in.
556
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,263
Not here. I know where they're going.
557
00:33:37,860 --> 00:33:40,353
Hey, Dana, are you ready to go yet?
558
00:33:41,370 --> 00:33:42,967
I'll be right there.
559
00:33:43,050 --> 00:33:44,373
It's taco time.
560
00:34:09,152 --> 00:34:11,910
♪ It's a day with no tomorrow ♪
561
00:34:11,993 --> 00:34:14,939
♪ A point of no return ♪
562
00:34:15,022 --> 00:34:17,580
♪ A time for endless sorrow ♪
563
00:34:17,663 --> 00:34:19,297
♪ When the stars no longer burn ♪
564
00:34:19,380 --> 00:34:20,223
No way.
565
00:34:21,390 --> 00:34:22,140
You know what?
566
00:34:22,223 --> 00:34:24,547
I remember the day I figured out
we weren't getting our stuff back.
567
00:34:24,630 --> 00:34:27,127
It was a lot easier getting
that than your NAS though.
568
00:34:27,210 --> 00:34:29,287
Tell me about it. I'm gray now.
569
00:34:29,370 --> 00:34:32,887
Hey, check it out. They
have all their accessories.
570
00:34:32,970 --> 00:34:36,217
The Dark Lord has blessed YARC this day.
571
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:38,073
He's actually missing the shield.
572
00:34:39,570 --> 00:34:40,403
Shit.
573
00:34:42,551 --> 00:34:46,029
We gotta ditch this motherfucker.
574
00:35:02,430 --> 00:35:04,927
Sam? You got here fast.
575
00:35:05,010 --> 00:35:07,267
Cincy, what the hell is going on?
576
00:35:07,350 --> 00:35:09,097
What do the Game Chasers
have to do with any of this?
577
00:35:09,180 --> 00:35:10,087
You'll figure it out.
578
00:35:10,170 --> 00:35:12,847
Just get inside and distract
them while we get the lamp.
579
00:35:12,930 --> 00:35:14,197
Now it's time to see if Boston Mike
580
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,580
was telling the truth
about that genie or not.
581
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:20,763
Fucking genie?
582
00:35:27,270 --> 00:35:28,537
What's up?
583
00:35:28,620 --> 00:35:31,357
Game Chasers. Are they here?
584
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:32,440
What do you think?
585
00:35:43,790 --> 00:35:48,790
Oh my God, guys. Are you
guys like the Game Chasers?
586
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,323
Why yes. Yes, we are.
587
00:35:53,427 --> 00:35:54,427
I am YARC.
588
00:35:59,554 --> 00:36:00,721
That's YARC.
589
00:36:01,556 --> 00:36:02,407
YARC.
590
00:36:02,490 --> 00:36:03,840
I like YARC.
591
00:36:06,117 --> 00:36:07,267
This is so cool.
592
00:36:07,350 --> 00:36:10,597
Um. Oh my goodness, so much.
593
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,097
Who is this guy?
594
00:36:12,180 --> 00:36:13,597
Lady, we're grown men with beards.
595
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,697
What makes you think we know
about the Care Bear Cousins
596
00:36:15,780 --> 00:36:18,277
introduced in the Care Bear movie, 1985.
597
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:19,927
That's Lion Heart. He's
got some buddies here.
598
00:36:20,010 --> 00:36:21,547
Cozy Heart and Lotsa Heart with him.
599
00:36:21,630 --> 00:36:23,467
Oh my God. Amazing.
600
00:36:23,550 --> 00:36:24,877
But you know who else
has a lot of heart?
601
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,493
-Who?
-Me.
602
00:36:40,353 --> 00:36:42,847
Man! You're a button
smashing son of a bitch.
603
00:36:42,930 --> 00:36:45,322
Man, I'm gonna smash your butt.
604
00:36:56,751 --> 00:36:58,357
What now?
605
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:01,357
Well? Do we rub it?
606
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:02,273
You rub it.
607
00:37:03,420 --> 00:37:04,503
We rub together.
608
00:37:21,930 --> 00:37:24,547
Okay, now we do what we should have done
609
00:37:24,630 --> 00:37:26,137
in the first place.
610
00:37:26,220 --> 00:37:28,593
Let's blast this bitch
Acula back into hell.
611
00:37:34,175 --> 00:37:35,008
Oh my...
612
00:37:36,821 --> 00:37:37,904
Yo!
613
00:37:40,981 --> 00:37:41,814
George?
614
00:37:43,260 --> 00:37:45,323
Yeah. You know any other genies?
615
00:37:47,430 --> 00:37:49,267
Do we have to rub you more to come out?
616
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:52,147
Ain't no one
talked to me for 30 years
617
00:37:52,230 --> 00:37:54,187
and y'all think you can just rub your boy
618
00:37:54,270 --> 00:37:57,349
and I'm gonna hop out of this
lamp and suck y'all dicks.
619
00:38:00,630 --> 00:38:02,647
I'm getting a bath.
620
00:38:02,730 --> 00:38:06,157
Make your wishes and
leave George be, please.
621
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:07,177
Alright.
622
00:38:07,260 --> 00:38:08,647
First, we wish for all of our friends
623
00:38:08,730 --> 00:38:10,657
that were killed last year to come back
624
00:38:10,740 --> 00:38:12,590
and help us take down Acula for good.
625
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:14,980
Shit.
626
00:38:15,063 --> 00:38:16,117
Nice try.
627
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,387
You can bring back one person per one wish
628
00:38:19,470 --> 00:38:24,081
per section 15.8,
paragraph four, volume 20
629
00:38:24,164 --> 00:38:26,917
of the Genie Union Handbook.
630
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,810
Okay, we really need to
think about this though.
631
00:38:29,893 --> 00:38:30,667
I have an idea.
632
00:38:30,750 --> 00:38:33,157
No offense, but leave
the planning to us.
633
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:34,927
No, Jen's right?
634
00:38:35,010 --> 00:38:37,310
We need to bring back
the most helpful people.
635
00:38:38,730 --> 00:38:41,257
Genie, I wish for Ezekiel Vance
636
00:38:41,340 --> 00:38:42,757
to be brought back from the afterlife
637
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,353
and help us take down the
demon princess Acula for good.
638
00:38:53,070 --> 00:38:54,667
No way. Lame Pick.
639
00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:57,179
I wish to bring back Boston Mike.
640
00:39:04,150 --> 00:39:06,090
What the fuck?
641
00:39:06,990 --> 00:39:09,937
We get three wishes and
Boston Mike is one of them?
642
00:39:10,020 --> 00:39:12,397
George, is that you?
643
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,367
All right bitches. George out.
644
00:39:15,450 --> 00:39:18,607
Wait, we have one more wish, don't we?
645
00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:20,497
No, Captain Underpants over there
646
00:39:20,580 --> 00:39:24,097
made the first wish back in 1989,
647
00:39:24,180 --> 00:39:26,857
right before he buried my ass
in the ground for 30 years.
648
00:39:26,940 --> 00:39:30,183
All right, I do three
wishes every 100 years.
649
00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:36,487
Dammit, Mike! What did he pick?
650
00:39:36,570 --> 00:39:39,877
Unlimited
supply of Chinese food.
651
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,910
Why I don't eat Chinese food anymore.
652
00:39:43,279 --> 00:39:46,237
We brought you two back
to help us take down Acula.
653
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,077
She's not dead.
654
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,387
No! No.
655
00:39:49,470 --> 00:39:51,037
No, no, no.
656
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:52,563
Acula killed me.
657
00:39:53,891 --> 00:39:55,503
She won.
658
00:39:56,700 --> 00:40:00,187
And I'm too old and
tired to fight a demon.
659
00:40:00,270 --> 00:40:01,819
All right,
this one's on the house.
660
00:40:04,971 --> 00:40:06,157
No.
661
00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:07,983
This is horse shit.
662
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,467
You idiots better have a plan.
663
00:40:11,550 --> 00:40:13,087
Oh, we have a plan.
664
00:40:13,170 --> 00:40:15,217
Boston Mike, go check lost and
found and get some clothes.
665
00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:16,503
You look like shit.
666
00:40:20,515 --> 00:40:21,598
Yo.
667
00:40:25,140 --> 00:40:25,890
Hey, sorry I'm late.
668
00:40:25,973 --> 00:40:26,806
Got the juice?
669
00:40:29,610 --> 00:40:30,663
It's a good batch.
670
00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:34,327
Now that everyone's hooked on the juice,
671
00:40:34,410 --> 00:40:36,697
no money for the stores.
672
00:40:36,780 --> 00:40:37,923
Perfect plan.
673
00:40:48,660 --> 00:40:50,610
Hey, bud. Lost and found, you got it?
674
00:40:55,260 --> 00:40:56,093
Here we go.
675
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:00,123
Accessorize is important.
676
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:02,246
Like that.
677
00:41:02,329 --> 00:41:03,852
Ugh, are you? Don't tell me, don't.
678
00:41:03,935 --> 00:41:05,500
No, ugh!
679
00:41:05,583 --> 00:41:07,633
Ugh, that was close. You see that, buddy?
680
00:41:19,650 --> 00:41:20,553
No pants?
681
00:41:25,380 --> 00:41:26,213
Thank you.
682
00:41:29,595 --> 00:41:31,345
Have a good day, bud.
683
00:41:32,217 --> 00:41:34,574
Are you getting a fucking blow job?
684
00:41:34,657 --> 00:41:36,727
Ah.
685
00:41:36,810 --> 00:41:39,183
Wait, are you guys hiring?
686
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,331
Oh, she doesn't work here.
687
00:41:46,770 --> 00:41:49,237
So what's
this genius plan of yours?
688
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:50,797
All right, here it is.
689
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:52,087
Those three are gonna check the stores
690
00:41:52,170 --> 00:41:53,467
on the west side of town.
691
00:41:53,550 --> 00:41:55,477
We're gonna check the stores on the east.
692
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:57,787
Ugh. Which one of you farted?
693
00:41:57,870 --> 00:41:59,647
Hey man, I'm kind of hungry.
694
00:41:59,730 --> 00:42:00,967
Ooh, tacos?
695
00:42:01,050 --> 00:42:02,887
We don't have time to stop.
696
00:42:02,970 --> 00:42:04,957
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Yard sale, yard sale.
697
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:08,107
-So let me get this straight.
-You had access to a genie,
698
00:42:08,190 --> 00:42:12,337
and instead of killing
Acula, you wished us back.
699
00:42:12,420 --> 00:42:14,227
Um...
700
00:42:14,310 --> 00:42:17,189
You didn't even think of
that, did you? Didn't even think of it.
701
00:42:17,272 --> 00:42:20,439
♪ 'Cause I'm tortured ♪
702
00:42:24,672 --> 00:42:25,589
Fuck you!
703
00:42:33,716 --> 00:42:36,299
♪ I'm tortured ♪
704
00:42:43,859 --> 00:42:45,607
Are you fucking kidding me?
705
00:42:45,690 --> 00:42:47,317
You always stopping at a yard sale.
706
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,927
I know this guy. He
has really good deals.
707
00:42:50,010 --> 00:42:51,637
Get back in the car!
708
00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:52,863
Get back in the car!
709
00:42:55,410 --> 00:42:57,177
See, look, look, look.
710
00:42:57,260 --> 00:42:59,482
Ah. Everything's a dollar.
711
00:43:13,740 --> 00:43:15,609
Boston Mike's back baby.
712
00:43:17,549 --> 00:43:20,733
Dude. Where's my fucking ladder at?
713
00:43:26,190 --> 00:43:28,597
Let me get two dozen tacos
714
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,607
and put some of that
green sauce in the bag.
715
00:43:30,690 --> 00:43:34,447
-What are we even doing?
-We need to get to the store.
716
00:43:34,530 --> 00:43:35,687
I've been dead for a year.
717
00:43:35,770 --> 00:43:37,563
I'm a little hungry, okay?
718
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:40,704
Oh, thank you. Green sauce.
719
00:44:23,128 --> 00:44:24,295
Woo hoo hoo!
720
00:45:47,776 --> 00:45:48,983
Come on, dude. Go.
721
00:45:49,066 --> 00:45:49,816
Go, get out of there.
722
00:45:49,899 --> 00:45:51,097
You have to leave. Yes.
723
00:45:51,180 --> 00:45:53,767
So uh, Brenda from Elm Street,
724
00:45:53,850 --> 00:45:57,007
Matt, Chuck, and Rod from
Empire. They're all dead.
725
00:45:57,090 --> 00:45:58,087
I saw that.
726
00:45:58,170 --> 00:46:00,348
Collectors are saying Acula's back.
727
00:46:00,431 --> 00:46:02,827
Well, Acula killed
my brother a year ago.
728
00:46:02,910 --> 00:46:03,727
What?
729
00:46:03,810 --> 00:46:05,797
Yeah. I saw some of
my footage from Empire.
730
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,257
Dude looks like an off-brand ghost face.
731
00:46:08,340 --> 00:46:10,597
Ma, can we get some Ghost Face?
732
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,633
No, we got Ghost Face at home.
733
00:46:14,047 --> 00:46:16,567
-I'm gonna go check the door.
-I'll be back in a little bit.
734
00:46:16,650 --> 00:46:18,337
Shouldn't have said that.
735
00:46:18,420 --> 00:46:20,174
You guys hear that?
736
00:46:20,257 --> 00:46:22,713
Shh. Watching a classic.
737
00:46:28,770 --> 00:46:31,149
Aren't they supposed
to be open until 7:00?
738
00:46:31,232 --> 00:46:32,065
It is.
739
00:46:33,265 --> 00:46:34,420
I thought so too.
740
00:46:34,503 --> 00:46:37,521
Hey, man. You're supposed to be
open for another hour. What's going on?
741
00:46:37,604 --> 00:46:40,031
I know, guys, I'm
sorry, but I have to close
742
00:46:40,114 --> 00:46:42,517
early tonight. My
little girl has this recital
743
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:44,377
and I can't wait to see it
and I'm not gonna miss it.
744
00:46:44,460 --> 00:46:45,514
Sorry again.
745
00:47:15,548 --> 00:47:17,215
I locked the door.
746
00:47:20,310 --> 00:47:22,310
I'd like to see the killer get us now.
747
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:24,393
Not today.
748
00:47:27,292 --> 00:47:28,977
Oh, fuck!
749
00:47:31,350 --> 00:47:32,407
Yeah.
750
00:47:32,490 --> 00:47:35,403
Can't believe the Empire boys
are dead. Yeah, it's crazy.
751
00:47:36,540 --> 00:47:39,187
Yeah, no, I'm, I'm up in their
booth right now at the mall
752
00:47:39,270 --> 00:47:40,807
looking through their stuff.
753
00:47:40,890 --> 00:47:42,187
Man, forget about eating brains.
754
00:47:42,270 --> 00:47:43,773
I'd love to eat her ass.
755
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:47,033
Yeah.
756
00:48:28,955 --> 00:48:32,788
Let's go.
757
00:48:33,682 --> 00:48:36,149
Hey Randy. Light these torches over here.
758
00:48:38,610 --> 00:48:39,573
Door's unlocked.
759
00:48:46,770 --> 00:48:50,017
Oh, your plan sucks.
760
00:48:50,100 --> 00:48:50,850
Fuck!
761
00:48:50,933 --> 00:48:53,163
Maybe the other
guys had better luck.
762
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:08,073
Maybe we shouldn't
have stopped for tacos.
763
00:49:09,750 --> 00:49:11,163
They were so good though.
764
00:49:14,070 --> 00:49:16,867
You are two fucking idiots go upstairs
765
00:49:16,950 --> 00:49:18,423
and I'll go check downstairs.
766
00:49:29,970 --> 00:49:31,537
Hey!
767
00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:33,623
Sam's kind of a bitch, right?
768
00:50:27,510 --> 00:50:29,110
I know you're still down here.
769
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:32,493
It's okay.
770
00:50:34,020 --> 00:50:35,013
I'm alone.
771
00:50:37,140 --> 00:50:38,223
Come out.
772
00:50:50,460 --> 00:50:52,410
You're getting close to your 13th kill.
773
00:50:55,230 --> 00:50:58,593
I have two idiots upstairs
that we can add to your count.
774
00:50:59,700 --> 00:51:01,810
So how about
775
00:51:03,300 --> 00:51:07,233
we raise King Acula together?
776
00:51:14,664 --> 00:51:16,101
Your phone's ringing.
777
00:51:18,390 --> 00:51:21,273
Uh, this might actually be the killer.
778
00:51:22,350 --> 00:51:23,861
Hello.
779
00:51:26,340 --> 00:51:27,783
Guys, it's the killer.
780
00:51:39,270 --> 00:51:42,063
Well, I know where we need to go.
781
00:51:46,770 --> 00:51:48,270
You know it's a trap, right?
782
00:51:49,470 --> 00:51:50,303
Probably.
783
00:52:37,530 --> 00:52:41,527
I still can't believe
you two guys lost Sam.
784
00:52:41,610 --> 00:52:43,477
You better hope she's okay.
785
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,693
She's the one that wanted to separate.
786
00:52:47,850 --> 00:52:50,314
I'm gonna go get something out of her car.
787
00:52:59,550 --> 00:53:02,497
Our winding paths will soon intersect,
788
00:53:02,580 --> 00:53:05,043
and then the harrowing descent begins.
789
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:08,167
Okay.
790
00:53:08,250 --> 00:53:09,847
It's the same mixture
of drugs and holy water
791
00:53:09,930 --> 00:53:12,030
you two used to take down Acula last year.
792
00:53:13,029 --> 00:53:15,663
You have to weaken the demon
if we even stand a chance.
793
00:53:19,230 --> 00:53:24,230
Alright, Acula, this
time I'ma see you coming.
794
00:53:28,307 --> 00:53:30,817
So are you guys ready
to do this or what?
795
00:53:30,900 --> 00:53:32,077
Of course, dude.
796
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:35,227
We got the dream team and Boston Mike.
797
00:53:35,310 --> 00:53:36,483
What could go wrong?
798
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,117
Sorry. Did you say what could go wrong?
799
00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:40,950
I don't know.
800
00:53:41,033 --> 00:53:42,517
How about the fact Acula is most likely
801
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,437
gonna kill all of us, and then afterwards
802
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:47,527
we get to get butt fucked
by demons for all eternity.
803
00:53:47,610 --> 00:53:50,077
Wait, wait, wait. It's
that really on the table?
804
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,613
Jesus Christ, Ezekiel,
is that what was happening to you guys
805
00:53:52,696 --> 00:53:54,773
before we wished you back to Earth?
806
00:54:01,980 --> 00:54:03,723
Acula ain't getting me again.
807
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:28,593
We're all gonna fucking die.
808
00:55:32,354 --> 00:55:34,177
I found the power.
809
00:55:34,260 --> 00:55:37,117
We still need to find an
object to trap Acula in.
810
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,750
That is if we're still
alive to perform the ritual.
811
00:55:40,650 --> 00:55:42,247
No more trapping.
812
00:55:42,330 --> 00:55:44,073
Tonight we kill the demon forever.
813
00:55:50,622 --> 00:55:51,455
Shh.
814
00:55:52,740 --> 00:55:54,847
Okay, what's the plan now, Cincy?
815
00:55:54,930 --> 00:55:57,457
This place is huge. We need to split up.
816
00:55:57,540 --> 00:56:00,121
He's right. What's the plan?
817
00:56:00,204 --> 00:56:02,137
All right, no one makes
a move on their own.
818
00:56:02,220 --> 00:56:04,113
We need to do this together.
819
00:56:05,070 --> 00:56:08,857
You two guys, go upstairs,
take the escalator.
820
00:56:08,940 --> 00:56:09,993
But before that,
821
00:56:11,857 --> 00:56:13,413
"Kill evil" on three.
822
00:56:18,810 --> 00:56:20,433
Oh, you guys serious?
823
00:56:21,533 --> 00:56:22,807
-Come on.
-Yeah.
824
00:56:22,890 --> 00:56:24,637
This one's for you, Eddie.
825
00:56:24,720 --> 00:56:26,527
1, 2, 3.
826
00:56:26,610 --> 00:56:27,588
Kill evil.
827
00:56:27,671 --> 00:56:28,504
Shh.
828
00:56:30,216 --> 00:56:31,216
It's not on.
829
00:56:32,580 --> 00:56:35,837
They're stairs. Just use them as stairs.
830
00:56:45,866 --> 00:56:47,307
Shh.
831
00:56:56,848 --> 00:56:59,598
Dude, flip flops again. Really?
832
00:57:35,758 --> 00:57:37,925
You all ready?
833
00:57:57,621 --> 00:57:59,277
-Hey.
-Yeah.
834
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:00,247
If my head blows up.
835
00:58:00,330 --> 00:58:01,729
Don't leave me this time.
836
00:58:01,812 --> 00:58:03,110
Yeah.
837
00:58:45,615 --> 00:58:46,948
-Anything?
-No.
838
00:58:59,328 --> 00:59:00,505
Is someone there?
839
00:59:00,588 --> 00:59:02,734
Is someone? Cincy?
840
00:59:02,817 --> 00:59:03,864
Cincy! Cincy!
841
00:59:03,947 --> 00:59:05,030
Cincy! Cincy!
842
00:59:06,279 --> 00:59:08,134
Please, somebody help me!
843
00:59:08,217 --> 00:59:08,975
Please help me.
844
00:59:12,121 --> 00:59:14,457
Cincy! Please help me.
845
00:59:14,540 --> 00:59:15,707
Cincy help me.
846
00:59:21,651 --> 00:59:23,901
Help! Help, please help me.
847
00:59:25,297 --> 00:59:26,130
Please.
848
00:59:28,528 --> 00:59:29,647
Please somebody help.
849
00:59:29,730 --> 00:59:31,605
Cincy! Cincy, please.
850
00:59:31,688 --> 00:59:32,476
Get me out of here.
851
00:59:32,559 --> 00:59:34,325
Get me out of here.
852
00:59:34,408 --> 00:59:35,675
Sam, what the fuck?
853
00:59:35,758 --> 00:59:37,544
He's gonna light me on fucking fire.
854
00:59:37,627 --> 00:59:39,515
He's gonna light me on fucking fire.
855
00:59:43,070 --> 00:59:44,653
Cincy, please help.
856
00:59:52,487 --> 00:59:55,570
Uh uh uh. I don't fucking think so.
857
00:59:56,409 --> 00:59:58,510
Did you bring water guns?
858
00:59:58,593 --> 00:59:59,853
What am I? A gremlin?
859
01:00:00,912 --> 01:00:02,477
I'm not allowed to get wet?
860
01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:04,121
It's not Acula. It's a ritual.
861
01:00:05,350 --> 01:00:06,967
It's a ritual.
862
01:00:07,050 --> 01:00:08,857
13th kill.
863
01:00:08,940 --> 01:00:10,340
What is she talking about?
864
01:00:13,264 --> 01:00:14,767
He's not Acula.
865
01:00:14,850 --> 01:00:17,373
He's not raising Princess Acula either.
866
01:00:19,740 --> 01:00:22,987
This ritual will call
King Acula to the world
867
01:00:23,070 --> 01:00:24,663
and he'll rule for eternity.
868
01:00:26,730 --> 01:00:28,983
It's the 13th blood sacrifice.
869
01:00:38,100 --> 01:00:39,843
We are fucked!
870
01:00:49,740 --> 01:00:50,643
You're too late.
871
01:00:52,860 --> 01:00:53,943
This asshole!
872
01:00:54,930 --> 01:00:56,247
What? Are you kidding me?
873
01:00:57,510 --> 01:00:59,647
You guys didn't know
it was me the whole time.
874
01:00:59,730 --> 01:01:01,397
I wasn't even trying to hide it.
875
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:04,503
I killed 12 people, you fucking idiot.
876
01:01:05,528 --> 01:01:07,323
Oh, I just don't know. Whew.
877
01:01:08,307 --> 01:01:10,473
Are we gonna blast this fucker or what?
878
01:01:11,310 --> 01:01:13,360
Why don't we just kick this dude's ass?
879
01:01:14,220 --> 01:01:16,927
Won't matter. He's at 12.
880
01:01:17,010 --> 01:01:18,577
Doesn't matter who the 13th kill is.
881
01:01:18,660 --> 01:01:21,693
If anyone dies here tonight, Acula rises.
882
01:01:24,506 --> 01:01:26,107
You know what?
883
01:01:26,190 --> 01:01:28,413
Fuck this guy. NARC's right.
884
01:01:29,550 --> 01:01:32,275
Let's just kick his fucking ass.
885
01:01:32,358 --> 01:01:34,265
Now we're talking.
886
01:01:35,340 --> 01:01:37,422
Oh damn. Oh shit.
887
01:01:37,505 --> 01:01:39,017
No, Cincy.
888
01:01:43,706 --> 01:01:45,193
Fuck you, Cincy.
889
01:01:45,276 --> 01:01:47,471
No!
890
01:01:47,554 --> 01:01:50,304
Oh no.
891
01:01:51,930 --> 01:01:53,943
Cincy Nerd, you arrogant fuck.
892
01:01:57,570 --> 01:01:59,883
They came to save you with water guns.
893
01:02:01,050 --> 01:02:03,937
I killed 12 people.
894
01:02:04,020 --> 01:02:05,137
12 people!
895
01:02:05,220 --> 01:02:07,807
And they came to save you with water guns.
896
01:02:07,890 --> 01:02:08,820
What the fuck?
897
01:02:10,650 --> 01:02:12,233
You stupid fucks!
898
01:02:13,620 --> 01:02:15,663
I bet you were making videos on the way.
899
01:02:17,850 --> 01:02:20,043
I bet you were toy
hunting on the way here.
900
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:23,690
What the fuck is the matter with you?
901
01:02:26,310 --> 01:02:28,777
Welcome to the Jordan Show.
902
01:02:28,860 --> 01:02:32,103
And this is Jordan's favorite scary movie.
903
01:02:36,270 --> 01:02:37,683
You all disgust me.
904
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:42,607
You think you could just
get away with it too?
905
01:02:42,690 --> 01:02:45,907
Everyone just lets you get
away with it all the time.
906
01:02:45,990 --> 01:02:47,437
But not Jordan.
907
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:48,843
Wait, he's not Acula?
908
01:02:51,150 --> 01:02:53,917
You Look for someone that's
maybe down on his luck,
909
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:57,757
needs a few bucks and
then you rip him off.
910
01:02:57,840 --> 01:02:59,733
But that's not even what bothered me.
911
01:03:00,990 --> 01:03:02,417
And you're just as bad as that.
912
01:03:03,420 --> 01:03:05,557
That's not even what bothered me.
913
01:03:05,640 --> 01:03:08,527
What bothered me is that you
go on the fucking internet
914
01:03:08,610 --> 01:03:11,707
and call me a fuckboy.
915
01:03:11,790 --> 01:03:13,837
Do I look like a fucking fuckboy?
916
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:15,877
Do I look like a fucking fuckboy?
917
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:17,853
Do I look like a fucking fuckboy?
918
01:03:18,930 --> 01:03:21,797
Do I? No.
919
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:25,143
You social media influencers,
920
01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:28,953
you vloggers, you collectors,
921
01:03:30,300 --> 01:03:34,237
all of you think it's so cool
922
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:35,707
to just go around, make videos,
923
01:03:35,790 --> 01:03:37,357
try to take advantage of your fans.
924
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:40,267
Tell 'em what to do, what to watch,
925
01:03:40,350 --> 01:03:42,063
what to wear, what to buy.
926
01:03:44,430 --> 01:03:45,333
For what?
927
01:03:47,430 --> 01:03:48,997
To sell more ad time.
928
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:53,943
And then even today, with every kill,
929
01:03:55,950 --> 01:04:00,280
you promoted more and
more of your own agenda.
930
01:04:02,220 --> 01:04:04,413
Oh wait, there's more.
931
01:04:05,850 --> 01:04:08,973
I almost forgot to tell you the best pa-
932
01:04:09,889 --> 01:04:11,433
You have the right to remain silent.
933
01:04:20,730 --> 01:04:21,563
Forever!
934
01:04:26,273 --> 01:04:27,722
Cincy?
935
01:04:27,805 --> 01:04:28,638
Cincy!
936
01:04:30,526 --> 01:04:31,650
Cincy get me out here.
937
01:04:33,435 --> 01:04:36,993
Please get help.
938
01:04:37,076 --> 01:04:40,682
Oh, honey, Cincy's not here anymore.
939
01:04:40,765 --> 01:04:41,598
What?
940
01:04:42,450 --> 01:04:45,573
The name's King Acula And you're fired.
941
01:04:51,750 --> 01:04:52,583
No! See ya.
942
01:04:59,517 --> 01:05:00,787
Ah! Sam!
943
01:05:00,870 --> 01:05:01,863
Oh Jesus.
944
01:05:02,977 --> 01:05:05,553
That was a fucked up dream.
945
01:05:07,230 --> 01:05:08,063
Yeah.
946
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:11,583
All right, I'm gonna go check my subs.
947
01:05:30,990 --> 01:05:33,277
Craig. Holy shit, dude.
948
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:35,047
Oh my God. It's so good to see you.
949
01:05:35,130 --> 01:05:36,787
Yeah, dude, it's great to see you too.
950
01:05:36,870 --> 01:05:38,013
You, you all right?
951
01:05:38,943 --> 01:05:39,693
I'm okay, dude.
952
01:05:39,776 --> 01:05:41,647
I, I had a fucked up dream last night
953
01:05:41,730 --> 01:05:43,717
and it's just really good to see you.
954
01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:45,217
Anyway, I'm here for
the neck of pre-orders,
955
01:05:45,300 --> 01:05:47,254
but I gotta take a shit.
956
01:05:47,337 --> 01:05:48,487
-Oh.
-And I am afraid
957
01:05:48,570 --> 01:05:49,507
-of that bathroom.
-Yeah.
958
01:05:49,590 --> 01:05:51,570
-I'm gonna use Horror Freak's bathroom.
-For sure, man.
959
01:05:51,653 --> 01:05:52,403
Go around the back.
960
01:05:52,486 --> 01:05:53,377
-Yeah.
-Go through the back.
961
01:05:53,460 --> 01:05:55,327
Because there's some old man in there.
962
01:05:55,410 --> 01:05:56,617
Creepy ass old man.
963
01:05:56,700 --> 01:05:58,537
I'm pretty sure he's flashing Eric
964
01:05:58,620 --> 01:05:59,813
and I think they're fucking, dude.
965
01:05:59,896 --> 01:06:02,407
Ooh. What the frick?
966
01:06:02,490 --> 01:06:03,240
Yeah. I don't know.
967
01:06:03,323 --> 01:06:05,317
It's weird shit, but just
giving you a heads up.
968
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:07,895
Yeah. Fuck creepy ass
old men, dude. Right?
969
01:06:07,978 --> 01:06:09,337
Yeah fuck creepy ass old man, dude.
970
01:06:09,420 --> 01:06:10,657
Good job, buddy.
971
01:06:10,740 --> 01:06:12,783
That's why you are my NARC.
972
01:06:13,650 --> 01:06:14,643
You're my NARC!
973
01:06:16,410 --> 01:06:18,843
Nerd. That's why you're my Cincy Nerd.
974
01:06:23,430 --> 01:06:26,883
This is no ordinary witching board.
975
01:06:27,720 --> 01:06:30,877
This is a vessel board.
976
01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:34,597
It has been in my family for decades,
977
01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:39,247
and it was last used to trap the presence
978
01:06:39,330 --> 01:06:44,123
of a demon princess by the name of Acula.
979
01:06:47,845 --> 01:06:48,678
Acula?
980
01:06:50,617 --> 01:06:51,724
Acula?
981
01:06:53,850 --> 01:06:55,400
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
982
01:06:56,670 --> 01:06:57,843
Not fucking again.
983
01:06:59,460 --> 01:07:01,627
Fucking shit on myself.
984
01:07:01,710 --> 01:07:03,993
Eric don't take that goddamn board.
985
01:07:10,200 --> 01:07:12,907
Whatever happened to predictability,
986
01:07:12,990 --> 01:07:17,137
the milkman, the paper
boy, the evening TV.
987
01:07:17,220 --> 01:07:20,013
Wow, that is awesome.
988
01:07:20,850 --> 01:07:23,077
It's gotta be. This is amazing.
989
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:25,537
We could use this for
Ashley's going away party.
990
01:07:25,620 --> 01:07:27,727
Do a seance and everything.
991
01:07:27,810 --> 01:07:30,260
Yeah, freak the shit out
of everybody. I like it.
992
01:07:31,710 --> 01:07:34,267
Ash, babe, let's go.
993
01:07:34,350 --> 01:07:35,947
No way. This is your last night here.
994
01:07:36,030 --> 01:07:37,480
You need to spend it with us.
995
01:07:41,999 --> 01:07:43,597
Hey, you losers want to drink some beer
996
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:45,607
and do a seance tonight?
997
01:07:45,690 --> 01:07:47,437
Hey, Eric's trying to
resurrect a girlfriend.
998
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:48,967
A what?
999
01:07:49,050 --> 01:07:49,800
Cool.
1000
01:07:49,883 --> 01:07:51,576
Girls bring the candles. All right.
1001
01:07:51,659 --> 01:07:56,536
♪ It's the cry of the Banshee ♪
1002
01:07:56,619 --> 01:08:00,106
♪ Just like a siren's call ♪
1003
01:08:00,189 --> 01:08:05,189
♪ It's the cry of the Banshee ♪
1004
01:08:05,406 --> 01:08:08,757
♪ Are you ready to fall ♪
1005
01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:13,840
♪ It's the cry of the Banshee ♪
1006
01:08:14,147 --> 01:08:17,395
♪ She is leading me on ♪
1007
01:08:17,478 --> 01:08:22,478
♪ It's the cry of the Banshee ♪
1008
01:08:22,787 --> 01:08:26,605
♪ Such a beautiful song ♪
1009
01:09:03,687 --> 01:09:07,826
♪ Sha Nana na na Nana na na na ♪
1010
01:09:07,909 --> 01:09:11,764
♪ Sha na na na na ♪
1011
01:09:11,847 --> 01:09:16,346
♪ Sha Nana na na Nana na na na ♪
1012
01:09:16,429 --> 01:09:20,313
♪ Sha na na na na ♪
1013
01:09:20,396 --> 01:09:25,065
♪ Sha Nana na na Nana na na na ♪
1014
01:09:25,148 --> 01:09:28,794
♪ Sha na na na na ♪
1015
01:09:28,877 --> 01:09:32,544
♪ Sha Nana na na Nana na na ♪
1016
01:13:06,801 --> 01:13:10,593
God, I don't even, I know
how to talk about this.
1017
01:13:11,580 --> 01:13:14,380
Earlier tonight, we
started getting reports in
1018
01:13:14,463 --> 01:13:16,353
that there was a massacre.
1019
01:13:19,492 --> 01:13:21,470
I, I don't know what to do
1020
01:13:23,310 --> 01:13:25,657
other than at this point just pray.
1021
01:13:25,740 --> 01:13:28,567
Pray that the police
figure out what's going on
1022
01:13:28,650 --> 01:13:30,100
so they can put an end to it.
1023
01:13:32,760 --> 01:13:35,947
I wish I had more answers
than that, but I don't.
1024
01:13:36,030 --> 01:13:36,863
So...
1025
01:13:38,970 --> 01:13:41,047
Anyway, uh, guys, uh, just be sure
1026
01:13:41,130 --> 01:13:44,437
to hit that like button, subscribe
1027
01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:46,717
and um, bell notifications,
1028
01:13:46,800 --> 01:13:49,147
and also uh, down below, leave a comment.
1029
01:13:49,230 --> 01:13:51,580
Let me know what you
think about the massacres.
1030
01:13:53,310 --> 01:13:55,660
Stay strong and I'll see
you on the next video.
1031
01:13:57,630 --> 01:13:58,380
Cool.
1032
01:13:58,463 --> 01:14:00,367
Um. Hey, Jay.
1033
01:14:00,450 --> 01:14:03,307
Yo. Hey, man.
1034
01:14:03,390 --> 01:14:05,022
Empty out the van.
1035
01:14:05,105 --> 01:14:06,727
Do you even
realize how many toys
1036
01:14:06,810 --> 01:14:09,577
and games are about to be
on the market right now?
1037
01:14:09,660 --> 01:14:10,493
Retro.
1038
01:14:11,355 --> 01:14:12,547
Woo. Jackpot.
1039
01:14:12,630 --> 01:14:13,463
Let's go!
70767
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