All language subtitles for I Remember Nelson - episode 1 - starring Kenneth Colley, Geraldine James and Anna Massey (1982)

?!

towd

I don't know.

There's something coming about.

No!

No!

No!

Tell them all!

Tell them all!

You know what?

You know what?

Oh, yeah.

You know what?

There's a chain wreck in that corner.

Oh, he's not.

Hey, I'm gonna get to the corner.

Come on.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Let me see him.

Oh, wonderful.

Perfect.

It's large.

It's up to the light.

I hear that I remember I saw one.

Watch this.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Pride.

© BF-WATCH TV Studio

igliano.com

It should have been one of the happiest evenings of my life.

Lord Nelson had returned home victorious after three years at sea, and a theatrical

entertainment was to be staged especially in his honor.

Do hurry, Fan!

We shall be late!

He were to attend the theatre with Sir William and Lady Hamilton, with whom my husband had

stayed in Naples and who had travelled with him on the journey back to London.

No, Sir, Fulcrate!

Go from life!

Zero, Dr. Zero, out!

No, Sir, Fulcrate!

Go from life!

Zero, Dr. Zero, out!

No, Sir, Fulcrate!

Go from life!

Zero, Dr. Zero, out!

No, Sir, Fulcrate!

Go from life!

Zero, Dr. Zero, out!

No, Sir, Fulcrate!

Go from life!

Go from life!

Zero, out!

I was, of course, fully aware of the vile rumours concerning the fact that the people

were fully aware of the vile rumours concerning my husband and Lady Hamilton, but since famous

men are always the targets for malicious gossip, I decided that the whole matter was best ignored.

Nevertheless, I would have preferred it if we had not spent quite so much time in the

Hamilton's company.

I so longed for a few hours alone with him.

The play we were to see celebrated my husband's great victory over the French at the Nile.

The theatre was crowded and the enthusiasm of the audience quite overwhelming.

Lady Hamilton, I observe, was clearly delighted by all the cheering and public acclaim.

There's one whose fame exceeds the rest.

His school was French and sword and gun.

Not resting, not resting till the battle's won.

This son he'll go in for the world and did.

He's brave, he's brave, he's brave.

My brother's love is brave.

She's in the royal box sitting right next to her.

Lady Hamilton, Paul Craze, groom from life, see the lady beautifully for yourself.

You're a great lady and so you're master Nelson.

You want to be a sailor, do you?

Yes, sir, I do.

It's a grand life and no mistake.

It's a grand life being a sailor in the King's Navy.

And what's new, I am salamilad.

You might even become a captain one day.

Oh, no, sir. I'll do better than that.

I'm going to be an admiral.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Please.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm going to get one.

One day, very soon, I, old pony parks,

will be master of all the world.

I will cross the Mediterranean to Egypt.

She's control of the Nile.

And from the X, I will send my gallant troops to conquer the whole of India.

I will not be master of the world until you're master of the seas.

And that you'll never be while I live and breathe.

What fool dares to challenge me, das?

I am Lord Nelson.

See, here is my thing.

What's the matter?

I feel sick.

I feel sick.

You better take a song.

Don't leave me, please.

I can't stay here. I must go.

You all right?

I feel sick.

I'm trying to hold my hand.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

I will not be in just a way.

Don't leave me, please, don't leave me.

Don't leave me, don't leave me.

Don't leave me, please.

Don't leave me, don't leave me.

Don't leave me.

Don't leave me.

And the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And the home of the brave.

To say, say,

evermore,

o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And who may find the joy

please or for us

evermore,

o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Thank you, all.

Come on, gentlemen.

APPLAUSE

Until that evening, it had not occurred to me that Lady Hamilton might be pregnant.

I waited for my husband to say something, to offer perhaps an explanation.

But he said nothing.

And to make matters worse, every day seemed to be filled with gatherings of either social or official importance, which we had to attend.

Yes, but I can't believe that our progress to life is just about our own chance.

What else can it be?

Well, I think we're destined to do certain things.

Don't follow a certain path.

Fated, in other words.

I did my utmost to hide my true feelings.

My husband's indifference towards me grew more obvious.

This humiliating state of affairs reached its peak at a dinner party given by the First Lord of the Admiralty.

We must assume that nature makes the appropriate endowments.

Suppose I were fated to be a great and famous admiral.

I'm sure you'd manage the fleet quite admirably.

What's your opinion, my lord?

But what?

Well, don't you feel that your whole life has been directed by some outside controlling force?

Oh, yes, of course.

But whether that's fate or ambition is a hand of God, I really couldn't say.

Yes, but were you ever aware of the future that lay before you?

That's the point, isn't it?

Did you ever feel when you were young that you were destined for a remarkable career?

Yes, I think I did.

At least I had this sense of great excitement of exaltation.

It seemed to see a light, a radiant orb which I knew I had to follow.

I will be a hero, I said to myself, I'll brave every danger.

Amazing.

There.

You see?

With respect, I don't think that proves anything.

A great many young men have dreams of conquering the world.

When did you have this extraordinary experience?

It was two years ago.

I was about 12, 13.

I was a midshipman in the seahorse.

I was on my way back from the East Indies, I'd been taken ill.

Laying my sickbed, not knowing whether I was going to die.

Quite suddenly, had this great surge of confidence and absolute certainty.

Mind you, I've been timed since when I thought it was all the time.

As well, it might have been.

Ah, yes, but it wasn't, was it?

I think my point is proved.

You see, his lordship was given a glimpse of his own destiny.

I'll harp it that.

It was scarcely a child when it happened after all.

And a number of things might have gone wrong.

Oh, what a way.

Who knows? Bad luck, your health.

I don't mention a stray cannonball.

But these things didn't happen, did they?

They couldn't happen, because your fate had tested him.

It was already fixed and certain.

I don't believe that.

I mean, good heavens.

I can remember once when I was 30, I really thought my entire career had come to an end.

And why was that?

It was peacetime.

The Admiralty was trying to save pennies.

It was sent home on half pay.

Quite appalling.

Five whole years.

Doing nothing.

Most of the time, I was in the city.

Most of them.

Five whole years of boredom and anxiety.

They were staying in Norfolk with their father.

Sitting in that freezing rectory,

sipping soup and listening to the hail rattling on the windows.

All he has to do.

I remember looking across the salt marsh and thinking to myself,

if I do not get a ship in the next month,

I should lose my sanity.

He wasn't as dumb as that, surely.

It was dreadful.

The winters may have been rather bleak, but the summers were lovely.

It was the longest time we've ever been together.

Of course, I knew it couldn't last.

I so enjoyed those five years, and I think you did too.

Some of them anyway.

Speak for yourself, and it was held on earth.

Do please excuse me?

What are you doing?

Writing some notes on Mr. Hazelwood.

Mr. Hazelwood?

My solicitor.

Must you do it now? It's very late.

Please.

You must talk.

Please.

Not now.

I'll talk tomorrow.

Please, we must.

Oh, for heaven's sake, Fanny.

I must finish these papers before I go to bed.

Mr. Hazelwood's coming here for breakfast.

I came to wait.

Of course you can.

Another day, won't make any notes.

We'll talk tomorrow.

No, no.

I can't wait any longer.

Do you realize what this is?

This is the draft of the lawsuit against Lord Simpson.

If I do not get these papers to the admiralty tomorrow,

I risk losing 14,000 pounds worth of prize money.

And losing your wife?

Does that mean that?

You're very tired.

So much has been happening, you must be exhausted.

How can you be so cruel?

I don't mean to be cruel.

No, I don't think you do.

I don't suppose it ever crosses your mind for imagine how I feel, does it?

Do you ever think of other people?

Do you ever stop and wonder for a moment what it's like?

I don't think you do.

I don't suppose it ever crosses your mind for imagine how I feel, does it?

Do you ever wonder for a moment what it's like not to be the great Lord Nelson?

I don't suppose you do.

It was foolish of me to ask.

I showed you after all.

I mean, you are Lord Nelson.

Why think about anyone else?

Not wrong.

You see, got tired.

And you're upset.

Come on, let me take you up to the...

Take me upstairs, Matthew.

Lord Nelson, what are you suggesting?

I gave up from all the gossips that I have only myself to blame.

They say I didn't pay enough attention to your...

Your physical needs.

Well, you'll be surprised at the amount of gossip I hear and the details.

Everyone seems to be remarkably well informed.

They say she calls me Tom Tit, you lady Halton.

Is that true?

Poor old Tom Tit, plain middle aged and dull, who would want to make love to her.

Perhaps they're right.

Perhaps it is all my fault.

Is it?

Tell me the truth.

Do you love her?

Yes.

You asked me for the truth.

Why?

So awful.

People laugh at her, they laugh at you.

Haven't you seen all those vile caricatures and cartoons?

Everyone is laughing at you.

Is it because of the love making?

Is that why you find yourself irresistible?

Tell me.

I want to know.

Why not?

It's not right.

You mean it's indelicate?

Well, don't say it's no concern of mine because it most certainly is.

Do you want to live with her?

Do you want that?

I don't want to hurt you, Fanny.

It's too late for that.

I have been hurt and I'm being hurt.

I love her, I love you.

And I can't see why we have to make any hurt from damaging decisions, not yet.

Why can't we continue with things as they are now?

You mean all live together.

No, no, no, not live together.

No, I don't mean that.

Well, what then?

Just a friendship, some form of loving friendship.

Oh God, it's bad.

What's wrong with that?

Oh, for one thing, it's immoral and for another it's just horrible.

Please.

Please don't, please don't cry, please don't cry.

I care for you so very much.

Care, but not loved.

Did you ever love me?

Yes, of course, you know that.

I don't know.

Not now.

I don't know.

I'm not, honey.

Listen to me.

Listen.

Trouble is, the point is,

we change, don't we?

Life changes us, we change, our feelings change.

You might not have it.

Oh, I'm sure they have, they must have done it.

I still not feel, I still want to live with you and I still want to be your wife.

Shanny, please don't say such things.

Why not?

It's the truth.

How long have you known her?

Ever since I first went to Naples, eight years.

No, I meant how long have you been like us?

You are like us aren't you?

For how long?

Two years.

Almost two years.

Two years.

That's the William, no?

Possibly.

Probably, maybe not.

You say he's very fond of you.

Yes.

I think he is.

I'm very fond of him.

So much love, it must be quite overwhelming.

Bitterness does not help.

It helps me.

How did it all begin?

I can't remember.

Of course I can't.

I want to know.

Sir William was ambassador to the King of Naples.

He'd been there 30 years or so.

No.

He was very good to me.

Sir, you said in your letters.

Well, it's true he was.

He couldn't have been kinder.

And his wife.

Yes, and Emma, they were both very kind.

Anyway, but years later,

as years after I first meeting, that I got to know them properly,

it was after Abucia Bay, the Nile.

Our ships were very badly holed during the battle.

We were all exhausted.

We needed a friendly port to rest and refit.

Naples seemed the obvious choice.

There was a tremendous welcome.

Tremendous.

Even then, it might have been different.

Even then.

Adventure Army pushed on down through Italy.

Naples was threatened.

Had to move quickly.

We all sailed for Palermo to the King and the Queen

and the Hamilton's all of us.

We all sailed together.

It was then.

In Palermo?

Yes.

I had no idea.

I never suspected.

Well, of course not.

But your letters were still as loving as ever.

How could you do it?

How could you tell them?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

What could you do it?

How could you tell me something like that?

What else could I do?

What else could I do?

It was an agony, fan.

It was a physical pain.

I felt as if I were being torn apart.

If I were not concerned about you,

I was concerned about Sir William.

I felt so desperately ashamed of deceiving him so callously

and yet I could not bring myself to renounce him.

Some days I almost wish for death I seemed no other solution.

When did you decide to come home together?

That was later.

I couldn't leave until Naples was secure again.

Then Sir William was recalled home to London.

It seemed very sensible to travel together.

I'm sorry.

I'm so very sorry.

Why?

Why did it have to happen?

Why does anything happen?

She could have been your mistress in Naples.

You didn't have to fall in love with her.

Why did you bring her back here?

The idea of not seeing her was unbearable.

I'm telling you the truth, fan.

I'm being honest with you.

It's all my fault.

I know.

No man could have had a better wife.

You've been kind and gentle and loving and good.

Then why?

All sorts of reasons.

Tell me.

I can't.

I'm trying to explain. I cannot tell you anymore.

You've told me nothing.

All you've said is that people change.

But that's nonsense. You know it's nonsense.

It's just an excuse.

No, fan! It is not!

You cannot entertain me to be the man I was 15 years ago.

Too much has happened.

You mean her?

No, it's nothing to do with Emma.

It's what I've done. It's what I've become.

Listen to me, fan.

No, I've heard enough.

Fan, listen to me.

Fan, listen to me.

Being in a sea battle changes a man fan, changes him forever.

I can't possibly describe to you what a battle's like.

It's just noise and smoke and men screaming and men dying.

I've seen literally dozens of men torn apart before my eyes.

Hundreds.

A cannonball strikes one in the breast and carries off his head.

Another has his belly blown open by a musket shot and falls into a field,

drenching you with his blood.

And you look down at them, the wounded and the dying.

You look down at them and you think I'm no more than that.

Just scraps of flesh and splinters of bone.

I am no more than that.

Once you've seen these things, you can never be the same again.

You lose the innocence of ordinary men.

That's how I've changed, fan.

That's why.

And the others.

What others?

Other seamen, the other survivors.

Do they all come home and commit adultery?

Do they?

Or is it different for you? Is that what you're trying to tell me?

Of course.

Life does have different rules if you're a great man like Lord Nelson,

the hero of Van Eyle, the trivial details of morality and marriage

appear not to apply to you.

That's what she tells you, isn't it? Isn't it?

Oh, I've heard all about those beautiful charades you play

and the adoring verses and the laurel reams and bathing your brow in acid.

Let's just play acting, don't you see? It's not real.

She's just feeding your vanity so that you can feel even more of a hero

and she can feel less of a whore.

We all of us have to face death.

And whether it's one death or a thousand, it takes the same amount of courage.

Oh, I'm sure you've seen some terrible things and I'm sure you've been very brave.

But if you start believing that you're the greatest hero that ever lived,

if you start thinking that you're somehow different,

from the rest of mankind, you'll end your days with everyone aging and despising you.

Either that or they'll lock you away in the madhouse.

All right, I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

I have been right to stay all out.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry what you like.

Only words?

I love you.

I love you with all my heart.

We'll talk again tomorrow. I must finish my work.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

I love you with all my heart.

Believing that we would both be happier, living apart.

My husband instructed his solicitors to deal with us.

solicitors to deal with the practical matters of separation.

As you know Lord Nelson's income is about £4,000 a year. The terms he suggests are

these. You will receive £2,000 a year subject to the income tax, who paid every quarter

in advance and you'll receive the money from us, Mrs. Marsh Page and Creed, with income

tax deducted the settlement amounts to an actual sum of £1,800 per annum. I've prepared

a short resume of these facts and figures, I think we'll find it all reasonably soon.

Thank you. He's been very generous.

Yes, I think he has. He's been fair, certainly. More than fair.

I have to tell you that there is a condition attached to the settlement. A condition? A new

form condition. Since his lordship has made such a liberal alliance to you, he wishes

to be left to himself and without any inquiries from you. I see. I don't think that's too

unreasonable, do you?

No. No, of course not. It's a wretched business, I know. I can't tell you how sorry I am.

You've been very kind and that's grateful. I only wish there was more that I could

do more. Have you ever made any plans? No, not yet. No, it's early days, Lett. I gather

he's bought a house in Surrey. Yes, of what? Have you seen it? Yes, it's charming. Really,

it's not very big. And the severe give it most of you studied in the port. He said

that the roof is unsound, the walls are weak and the whole place is damp. Even I could

see that, there are damp patches everywhere. But you know what his lordship is like? Once

his mind is made up, nothing will deter him. Is there much land? It was maker so fair,

there's no garden to speak of, so long if you trees end a canal. Canal. It's a very small

canal. It runs into the river Wanda, I believe. Who do you say like a port, such a house?

I suppose you know that there's a child. Yes, erasure. I can't help feeling that his lordship

has mismanaged all this quite great for him. Miss Manifte. I'm trying to keep the birth

as secret, trying to pretend that the child is not his age. Very foolish. How did Sir William

react to it? I guess this is what is mine. They told everyone Lady Hamilton was confined

to bed with a severe cold. I said, William, seeing this inclined to contradict this. Well,

our ignorance is bliss. Thomas Grey said it is folly to be wise. They smuggled the baby

out of the house in a large month. It's unbelievable. Have you seen my husband recently? Oh, yes.

I saw him last week. Is he well? Yes, I think so. He's had a troublesome

coffin, so you're chilled. Nothing worse. An Elson family attending their backs on me. Does

that surprise you? It saddens me. Well, I mean, it is difficult. It's difficult to know how

to behave. Royalty is about to be strained. I'm sure your father in law isn't turning his

back? Oh, no. No, he would never do that. Lord Nelson's often said how fond of you his

father is. Yes, we are devoted to each other. He's living in Bath, now, isn't he? Yes. You're

seeing him often? As often as I can. I think he's dying. My dear lady, Nelson, I wish there

was something that I could do. My dearest husband, your generosity and tenderness was

never more strongly shown than in the payment of your very handsome allowance, which far

exceeded my expectation knowing your income. And had you left it to me, I could not in

conscience have said so much. Except my warmest, my most affectionate and grateful thanks.

I could say more, but my heart is too full. Be assured, every wish, every desire of mine,

is to please the man whose affection constitutes my happiness. Make or bless my dear husband.

What do you want this, sir? Ah, I'm not quite sure. In there, perhaps. Or perhaps in there.

Ah, Marsh, we need some help. This chair. Perhaps stairs the large room in the front.

Thank you, sir. Have your pay, Marsh. Marsh.

One of those letters you gave me this morning was from Lady Nelson. Oh, I'm sorry.

You did not make it clear. I do not want her writing to me. Oh, yes, Lord. I'm sorry.

Did you tell her? Yes, my Lord, I did. We'll tell her again. Don't be coy about it.

Never understand.

No, not that. Around the back with that room.

Good. Now that, any good, in that no longer, my whole new series of new letters,

that will never move back. That one goes...

My father-in-law was the only remaining link I had with 15 years of marriage,

and he, dear man, was growing weaker every day. Van. Van. There? Yes, I'm here.

Oh, first sleep. Always falling asleep these days. Is there anything you need?

No, I'm all right. Thank you. It was good of you to come, Van. So good of you to come.

I was afraid I mightn't see you again. I was afraid you might shut me out of your life.

Why should I do that? Some would. Most, I'd just say, under the circumstances.

It's not your fault. You're not responsible. Oh, no. Indeed, I'm not. I only wish I was.

He's not an adult, so a family must believe that, no matter what people might say.

And I know he's very fond of you still. I know that, Van. I know it.

The trouble is being at sea all those months. That's why it happened.

Being a part of the marriage was bound to suffer, anywhere.

He told me,

he said they became friends and Naples. The old man was ambuster out there.

I say, old, in fact, he's younger than I am.

I don't feel old, Van. I can't believe I'm nearly 80.

You look very well. Oh, no, I don't. I look old and ill and I shan't live another year.

I mustn't say that. Oh, I don't mind.

I serve God all my life. His turn soon.

I saw a mention of all these trials and tribulations and scientists and miseries.

Nothing we can do to change them. The hand of God shapes our destiny.

All we can do is to pray for strength and forgiveness.

I pray for you, Van. You're always in my prize.

Come and see me very. Please don't talk of such things. Oh, but I'm lost. It's important.

Don't let the family frighten you away. I want you by my side.

Thank you, dear Van.

Thank you.

I dear husband, it is some time since I have written to you.

The silence you have imposed is more than my affection will allow me.

And in this instance, I hope you will forgive me in not obeying you.

One thing I omitted in my life is that I am not a man.

I am not a man. I am not a man.

I am not a man. I am not a man.

I am not a man.

One thing I omitted in my letter of July is that I now have a comfortable warm house to offer for your accommodation.

Do my dear husband let us live together. I can never be happy until such an event takes place.

I assure you I have but one wish in the world to please you. Let everything be buried in oblivion.

It will pass away like a dream. I can only now entreat you to believe I am most sincerely and affectionately your wife.

Raunce his age, Nelson.

Um, this letter?

Yes, my name.

Turn it to 16 Somerset Street, mark the envelope.

Open by mistake by Lord Nelson.

But not red.

Very well, my lord.

My husband did not attend his father's funeral. He was or so I was told unwell.

More than anything else, even more than his own death, this one single act severed me completely

from the man I had loved for so many years.

I assumed and I think correctly that Lady Hamilton desired me never to see her Nelson again.

All my hopes of a reconciliation were at an end.

As far in their Sweets,

instruments

I

gel

elbow

elbow

fielded

locked

fortunate

To thy name and face of mortal partners of thy fame.

As the years passed, so the men and women who played such important roles in my life

and the events surrounding his life and death.

But when he asked me about Lady Hamilton, I was amazed to find that I could scarcely even recall her face.

In fact, there was only one thing about her I could remember.

The truth is, I only remember one thing about her. She had dirty hair.

We were sitting together in the theatre and as she learnt it forward,

I could see that her hair was not at all clean. Not at all clean.

I remember thinking, how can my husband love a woman with dirty hair?

As we talked, so the memories flooded back to me.

I met Gordon Elson in the West Indies. I was born now, you see, on the island of Nevis.

My father was the senior drager and my uncle, President of the council.

I was married before, you know.

When I was 18, I married Dr. Nisbet. But he died.

We had a son, Josiah. He lives in Paris now.

Oh, he spent several years at sea, but when the peace came, his career seemed to wither away.

I was delighted. One sailor should suffice any family.

Lord Nelson came to Nevis' captain of the Barreus.

So he was very ambitious, very determined.

People were rather afraid of him.

I loved him from the first moment I saw him.

I hope he doesn't upset you talking about these things.

No, not in the least.

Apart from the five years we spent together at Burnham Thor,

I really saw very little of him. He was at sea most of the time.

Yes, in many ways we were almost strangers.

Of course, I loved him very much.

Very much.

But it's taken me almost 20 years to realize that the pain doesn't last.

Could love forever run like a river?

And times in never be tried in vain?

No, no other treasure if this could measure.

And like a treasure, it can't get a train.

But since our sighing ends not in dying,

and formed for flying, love prunes his wing.

And for this reason, let's love a season.

But let the cut season be only spring.