Original subtitles

Next year, I'm decorating this entire tree

in ornaments of you and our first year together.

Babies' first everything.

Christmas, Easter.

Sleeps through the night.

First poop

Everything.

I really hope we get a white Christmas.

Nothing can harm you

more than your own unguarded thoughts.

Nothing can harm you

more than your own unguarded thoughts.

Nothing can harm you

more than your own unguarded thoughts.

♪ Mary ♪

♪ Where my homie Santa with the gifts ♪

♪ He told me that he double checked the list ♪

♪ One time, two times, do a fly by ♪

♪ Going in the flash ♪

♪ He'll be done by sunrise ♪

♪ Where my homie Santa with the gifts for you ♪

♪ He told me that he double check the list ♪

♪ One time, two time, third time charm ♪

♪ Imagine all the joy that we'll feel in the morning ♪

The tree is being decorated.

Copy. Wait, what's that code for?

Nothing. Just the, the tree is being decorated,

with tinsel.

Ewe.

What's your beef with tinsel?

Other than strippers using it as a stage name

during the holidays?

I've been made abort. Abort.

No. No. Jo, don't.

Don't abort.

Hey Auntie Jo.

Noel.

Thank you for checking on me.

You wanna hang out on your cruiser like usual?

And miss the opportunity to solicit charitable donations

for those in need?

Noble. Wanna come inside?

Nope. I'm good. Thanks.

That, for me?

I, I was gonna sneak in

and hide it under the tree when your dad wasn't there.

If the two of you would just communicate,

you'll get why he is not upset at you anymore.

For trying to protect my family?

Maybe could be that I'm just still upset

about his role in things,

and he can really just pick up the phone

and call me if he wants to chat.

Come on. Tomorrow is Christmas.

You gonna open it?

No way. Is it?

It's waterproof and has a GPS tracker.

Oh, I know. Did you know that stores data

and I can call and text without signal?

No, but I just figured

that since we can't be together for Christmas,

we can still communicate.

If the two of you will just communicate,

we can be together on Christmas.

Jo, are you there or did you finally suck it up

and get the nerve to go talk to your brother, Nick?

That's a negative, Merv.

Santa has not left the sleigh.

Hey, Noel.

Well, tell your Aunt Santa

that we got a hit on the skip,

but that we could handle it,

and for her to go make things right with your pops.

No, no, no. I, I, I'm on my way.

Jo, stay. I can take the lead.

Send me the locale.

Ugh. Merry Christmas, Noel.

Same. Enjoy your Christmas.

Here. Do me a favor and drop that off, will you?

Well, you collected it quite a bit.

People just emptied their pockets

when they saw the gun.

Merry Christmas kiddo.

I wish that we can all celebrate Christmas together

as a family.

Not gonna happen.

Don't forget, Santa always delivers.

So our guys in a black SUV right up ahead

just texted you the plate.

Oh, great. At this rate, we'll be there by New Year's.

I could have handled this, you know.

Yes, you could have Merv,

but then I would've been left to deal with my emotions

instead of chasing some asshole perp who...

Give Trace a house arrest, not bail.

He's wearing some bougie outfit.

Chose to sit in traffic on Christmas Eve.

Maybe he's trying to avoid his emotions

and family too.

Well played, Merv,

He is a sitting duck moving in.

No, no, no, no, too dangerous.

There's civilians everywhere.

Let's just tail him and see where he is headed.

Probably some dingy airport about two miles up the way.

Oh, my garland.

He's on foot. He just ran across five lanes traffic.

And he is running on the shoulder lane.

And you're not gonna believe who's here.

Golden, you son of...

Merv move, Merv go after.

Get him, get him.

Get him!

We're gonna get this guy.

We're gonna get him.

Ah, dammit Merv, I told you.

Just get off the next exit.

They just went over a fence.

How'd you get off the freeway, man?

You think we were gonna get you?

Yeah. Dumb man.

Such a dummy.

Yeah, no more ducking, no more ducking

That is a gold standard bounty.

What do you think?

Take maybe choke hold or something.

We got the best shots ever, bro.

Viral golden hit.

Viral golden hit.

You're part of this, man.

You're part of this.

One million view.

Ain't got time for this.

Go, go, go, go. Come on, man.

Homie, homie.

Done.

Oh, Jo, Jo, Jo.

Merry Christmas, Santa.

You know why you elves were playing dress up.

Me and mine right here snatched this mo phone

and rate in 50 K.

Isn't that like half your salary?

No, your retired salary, right?

Close with benefits it's more like 55, 56.

How in the, how do you even support a family on that?

Tell me about it.

No kidding.

I like it. Nice outfit.

It's cute.

Let's go.

Let's go.

You're fired Johnston!

What?

Those will be the only words

you hear coming out of my mouth.

If that ever happens again, you hear me?

So, so I'm, I'm not fired?

Oh, no. I'm not gonna fire you on Christmas eve,

but I'm also not going to allow you or that bounty hunter

to make the marshals look ridiculous?

I have no idea how he even knew about the perp

or got there first.

Neither do I, and I don't care.

But what I do care about,

your head has been up your ass since that little snuff fool.

And that this being your strike two,

and if it ever happens again...

You're gonna kill me.

No, you're just done, fired.

Capish.

Yeah.

Now perk out and go enjoy the Christmas party

that you clearly all nice and dressed up for.

No, this was...

Carry on.

Carry on.

♪ Jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle, jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun is is to have ♪

♪ A great Marshall today ♪

♪ Jingle bells, Jingle bells ♪

♪ He took all the day ♪

Hey, Jo, you okay?

What did Winter say?

I still suck at my job.

So where are you going?

To do exactly that.

What about the party?

I mean, the guys put together this Christmas party,

Yankee Swap.

Well, that does sound awesome.

I wanna know where Crooked Manhattan millionaire

was headed on Christmas Eve.

My guess it's the same reason his wife

has been missing since she was supposed to testify.

I'm just not in the spirit.

I thought you might say that.

Which is why I snag the best sweater for the best partner.

Huh? Look at baby Jesus.

Doesn't he look happy?

Okay, Merv, seriously?

I, you know, I gotta work, so thank you.

Very kind of you, but.

Oh, I'm, I'm coming too then.

Nice outfits.

Pretty festive.

Oh, Peter Newton,

you know the conditions surrounding

your release awaiting trial

prohibit you from leaving your house

other than to go to court.

Do they?

Yeah, sure do.

And being that we didn't find you in court.

Technically you didn't find me.

I did, I was right behind you.

Regardless being that you weren't found in court

by whomever and that your wife Mary has been missing

for about 10 months.

I can't help but wonder if your discovery

might have something to do with her disappearance.

Hmm.

I mean, trust me, I get it

It's the holidays, there's a snowfall out

and you're feeling nostalgic and lonely,

missing your family.

And I bet you just figured, you know what?

No one's gonna notice if a douchebag millionaire

just violates his, his house arrest order

for a couple of hours.

I'll just slip away to the site where I buried my wife

before the snow makes it too hard to find it.

Wait, what?

No.

Fine.

You don't refer to yourself as a douchebag, we do.

No, not that.

I mean, yes, that,

but I didn't kill my wife.

Mary's not dead.

She's not.

No.

Then where is she?

Hey, Jo. Jo.

Now where are you going?

We have been looking for this man's wife

for nearly a year.

So we are going to find her and bring her in

before she runs again, or Golden gets her,

or that snobby prick can have her offed.

Sure. But I mean, do we have to go

do it right now tonight?

It's Christmas Eve, we're having a party.

You know, she's not going anywhere.

Neither should we.

We aren't. You are gonna stay here

and make sure that that schmuck

doesn't get his call before I drag her in.

And then you are gonna go home

and have the most delightfully

merry first Christmas with your wife.

And what about you?

Well, I'm flying solo.

I mean this chick's on the run for,

for avoiding testifying,

not for hanging on our most wanted tree.

I was talking about Christmas with your family,

Noel, Nick.

Well, it won't be the first time

the job gets in the way, will it?

And you know what?

I'll wear this guy for good luck.

Jesus.

Try again.

I mean, sir.

Is that you?

Well...

Were you taking a dump on my precinct?

Sometimes things just don't go according to plan, sir.

We did our best.

Oh, come.

Congratulations, Merv.

I had no idea that doing your best

was on par with a holiday themed circus act.

Peter is in custody now, sir.

Yeah.

Thanks to some reality show wannabe you're not a Marshall.

Call me impressed.

Understood.

It won't happen again next time, sir.

Oh, you damn right,

because if I even catch wind the two of you,

like a screw up like that again,

you'll both be decking the halls at another precinct.

You got it?

Yes sir.

Go on. Gimme my sweater.

Oh, pronto. Let's go.

Go on, go on.

Let's get it over. Let's go.

Look, got this custom made just for you.

Guys, right

It lights up.

Yeah. Yeah.

Look like you are

You woo, you out did yourself again, Merv.

Just make sure you don't forget

to take the batteries out when you wash it.

That's good to hear, Merv.

Any other night, buddy.

Oh, thank goodness you made it.

I was so nervous with the storm.

I mean, can you believe all of this?

I guess nature likes to remind us

what it means to be human, right?

Oh my God, your sweater.

Literally the best.

I've had a lot of free time on my hand, so I did in my own,

but yours with those pants.

And you brought a gun. Excellent.

I'm nonviolent, of course,

other than my Krav Maga for self-defense.

So I don't touch those things.

But that's what you're here for, right?

Yeah.

Okay. Come in, come in, come in.

It's so cold outside. Woo.

Come on in.

Go ahead and make yourself at home.

So you, you're alone here?

Yeah.

And you're, you're pregnant.

And you're hilarious.

Which is actually a relief, I was so nervous

the agency was gonna send a dud

and I'd be stuck with a Grinch for Christmas.

You received a call from the agency?

Just a bit ago.

I gave her one job.

You know, you coming alone,

I got the impression you'd be a lot bigger.

That's what the gun's for.

Of course, you have to forgive me.

My pregnancy brain has added a 10,

but I'm sure you're more than familiar with that.

Mm. Are you hungry?

I have some cookies baking in the oven.

They should be ready in a few.

No, I'm, I'm good.

Well, feel free to use a kitchen, obviously.

You know, do you have a bag?

Did you leave it outside?

Do you wanna go go outside

and get it before the storm worsens?

At least you can come back in

and we can go over the birth plan

and the next steps...

No, I'm good. I got everything I need here.

I'm good.

Wow. Mm.

I'm good.

Impressive.

As much as I'd love for this to last till New Year's,

I can't not see us being on the road

in about 10 to 15 minutes,

Minutes, you are hilarious.

You know, I read that it can take anywhere

from eight to 15 hours

and that's after you induce me, Sasha.

Sasha, induce?

Exactly what, what agency do you think

that I work for, Mary?

How do you know my real name?

My name's Jo Johnston,

and I work for the US Marshal Service.

Look, I didn't do anything that I'm accused of.

I couldn't care less.

It is not my job to judge you or determine that,

but it is my job to transport you back to our offices

where you can then choose whether or not

you wanna go into witness protection

prior to testifying against your husband

like you agreed to do or join him at trial.

I am not going anywhere

until my midwife gets here and I have my baby.

Baby, baby.

That's why you fled.

And Sasha is your midwife

and she's coming here tonight?

I'm being induced for Christmas.

Well, how festive.

Yeah, that kind of sounds like a song.

Do you honestly think that I would've hugged you

and gave you cookies if I had known

you were a marshal and not my midwife?

You know what?

We're gonna wait here for Sasha then.

Really?

Oh, absolutely.

'Cause babysitting you tonight

is getting me out of going home

and spending Christmas with my brother.

Okay, so now what?

I'm gonna call this in and and we're gonna wait

and you know, you can, you can choose whether or not

you wanna go into witness protection with your baby

or, or prison without.

But if you try to run or fight,

or negotiate your way out of this,

your ass is gonna be dragged outta here in cuffs.

You got me?

I'll take one of those cookies now.

Alright. All right. We're getting there.

We're getting there.

We don't over any donkeys.

Hey, right there.

What?

Right there.

Oh yeah.

Wow. Wow. This,

if it isn't the Mary Marshall, what you think?

Oh yeah, yeah. Let's do it.

Which way should we get in there?

What do you think?

Should we go to this creek right here?

Like down the creek?

Or wait, wait, hold on.

You know what I care about?

No, let's go down the rocks on this side.

I don't care for views dude,

nobody cares about getting in there sneaking.

Nobody cares.

How many views do you think we get?

Because last time we did it,

we had the trekking shot following him and he came in last.

Right, right, right.

Let's do it that way.

So what's with the outfit

if you're not a fan of Christmas?

Oh, I'm not, not a fan of Christmas. I love Christmas.

Then why are you trying to get outta

spending it with your family?

Work.

Can I, can I use your phone please?

I don't have one.

Oh, I thought you meant a landline.

No.

Ah, so that's how you found me.

Earlier today we found Peter,

intercepted him en route here.

Peter was headed here?

To kill you. We believe.

So Jo, what is it exactly you're supposed to do?

Transport me, keep me safe.

Maybe take a bullet for me

to ensure that I testify against him.

Well, the former, yes, but as for the latter, no.

No one's taken any bullets.

Not unless you try to run.

In which case I'm more likely to shoot you with one

than take one for you.

Hmm. So, according to your hypothetical,

you'd be perfectly comfortable

shooting a pregnant woman on Christmas.

Christmas, no, no.

Christmas Eve.

That's different.

Although obviously I'd aim for below the equator.

You know, like the thigh, knee, maybe the foot.

Well, Jo's here.

Yeah, I got the marshal.

I mean, the marshal is here.

You know she's gonna have a gun of some sort.

Battery. I need another battery.

Okay, you guys ready?

Let's do it.

I'll swap out the battery and then all.

Yeah, let's do it.

Let's go.

I'll go first.

You trail. Cool.

Alright.

Alright.

You know what looks like these cookies

need a few more minutes.

Should be done by the time I get back from the bathroom.

You don't mind, do you?

This one's just leaning right up against my bladder.

What?

Your phone. I'll get it on the way back.

You know what?

I'm just gonna do a little pickle doodle around here.

Make sure you can't get out.

Okay?

Yep. Alright.

Do your thing.

Alright, thank you.

Yep.

Hey, Mary.

No, no.

I'm not letting anyone take my baby.

I'm not going anywhere.

What's that smell?

The cookies.

Hey.

Hey, you come back here.

You!

Come on, don't run.

All I want for Christmas is you.

-Yeah. -What?

Not tonight.

Him not you.

Also, where were you gonna run in this cold?

Away.

Come on, Jo. Hand her over. All right.

Just go back and hang out with your family.

Spend a little time with them tonight.

The ones I haven't put in jail already, how about that?

Not a chance.

Okay, fine.

I'll split the prize money with you.

Will that work?

50 grand sound good?

Yeah, it sure is.

And if you're willing to gimme 50 K,

I bet she's worth double that to you.

Well, that's kind of idea, split.

You know what I mean?

Like 50 K times two.

Times two.

200,000.

Yeah, exactly. 200,000.

Okay. Whatever. $100, does that work?

Uh-uh, no.

Back off, Golden.

You know the rule.

Finder's keepers.

Not with 200 K at steak.

Alright, uncuff her, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take her.

You mean like uncuff her with this?

Yeah.

Oops, went into the creek there. Sorry.

Aren't those standard issued law enforcement cuffs?

Dumb.

There's a universal key, moron.

Get 'em.

No, my god.

Have you gotten shot?

What are you doing?

I'm trying to save your life.

I'd rather die.

Get the door.

Oh god.

I did not need you to do that.

Not that I had a choice now, did I?

And it's the least I could do

for you taking a bullet for me.

That was not on purpose. Trust me.

I'm more than likely to not ever know

how to shoot you myself.

You are the forger of your own peace.

You are the forger of your own peace.

Whew. Manifesting.

Now?

Really?

Yeah. It helps me.

Calms me down.

Ooh, you should try it.

Close your eyes. Come on.

The quieter you are, the more you hear.

Oh my God.

All I hear, all I hear is the sound of bullets

ricocheting off these windows from the hitman

your husband hired to kill you.

He wouldn't do that.

No. No.

It's all just a huge coincidence.

Him, the hitman, Golden.

Yeah, and who was he?

Another Marshall?

Does he look like a Marshall?

He is a wannabe celebrity bounty hunter

and the fricking bane of my existence.

Oh, so not a friend and a professional colleague, huh?

Definitely not.

He is a bitter rival.

And I'll let the hitman get you before I ever let Golden.

I was being facetious.

So what family member did he put behind bars?

Is that why you're avoiding Christmas?

Hey, focus, quick.

Kill these lights.

Make it harder for whoever your husband

didn't hire to kill you to see inside here.

You do not have that.

What?

It's like one of the best inventions of the '80s.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

You know what we, we gotta get you to a hospital.

I'm waiting for my midwife.

Uh-uh. No you're not.

Where is your phone?

Where is it?

I must have dropped it outside.

Oh, how convenient.

Given the situation. I kind of disagree.

Okay, what is your WiFi password?

You don't know.

Okay, look, there's one on the router, okay.

But creating your own WiFi password

literally one of the number one ways to get hacked.

Where's the router?

Game room downstairs.

Hey, it's me.

Yeah, my phone didn't have any signals,

I'm at Mary's home.

No, but there's somebody else here though.

Go and get him.

Now. Go, go, go, go.

-How does someone like you... -How someone like you...

-Get into sewing? -Get familiar with labor?

It's just one of those hobbies I picked up

to pass the time since my husband left me.

Go on a whim.

Sorry, sorry. Didn't...

It's okay.

I guess the two aren't entirely mutually exclusive,

but you know, it's only so much you can do

when you're all alone trying to avoid people

and being found.

And pregnant.

Yeah, and pregnant.

Me, I picked up sewing and baking, reading.

Yeah.

Krav Maga, spinning, meditating.

Wow, yeah.

Pretty much anything I could do while being alone

to avoid asking the question why my husband left me

for a sorority clergy.

Yeah, too bad you couldn't just drink.

Oh, I drink a lot.

Yep, fetal alcohol syndrome, guaranteed.

Oh!

I'm kidding

No, seriously I am.

Not a drop. Not a drop.

So you and labor, you can't have kids?

What?

Oh my God.

You had a miscarriage, didn't you?

I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I didn't have any miscarriage, Jesus.

Why can't I have kids?

I don't know. Why can't you?

What? No, no.

I mean, I can, I think it's just,

why do you think I don't already do?

Because you're here

trying to avoid your family on Christmas.

I mean, doesn't everyone.

Avoid their family on Christmas?

And every other holiday.

No. Holidays are meant for family.

Well, you clearly don't have kids.

Well, soon

and I plan on spending every single one with this one.

My brother is an OB, if you know you need.

Oh, what's the niece who can sew.

Yeah.

You know, I don't understand

why you're trying to avoid family

that makes you light up like a Christmas tree.

Just my brother.

Why? What happened?

Long story.

Had anything to do with

what your blonde bestie said about you.

Who he put behind bars.

You know what?

It is gonna be a Christmas miracle

if I don't shoot you tonight.

Geez. I'm sorry. Just joking.

Don't.

Yikes.

Well, what happened? I mean, who, who...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We are not doing this.

We are not a bunch of gals

chatting about the fam over Christmas.

I am a Marshall, you are a fugitive.

I'm not a fugitive. I'm a witness.

Yeah, who flipped on her husband

after being arrested with him for embezzlement

and then fled to avoid testifying.

Making you a fugitive.

I fled to have my baby not to avoid testifying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Having a kid with him to keep him from leaving you

after you flip on him.

Whew. That's smart.

I'm not having a child to keep him.

And I only agreed to testify against him

after the FBI informed me about his affair

and his plan to frame me for embezzlement.

Yeah.

It's not flipping

if I was innocent from the beginning.

Yeah, I'm sure you knew nothing about it

Jesus, you sound just like my brother.

Oh, so now you wanna talk about family.

You know what?

Shut up and seal it.

We're leaving.

No, I told you I'm not going anywhere

until my midwife gets here.

Did your pregnancy brain make you forget

about the hitman who's out there trying to kill you?

You think he's just gonna wait for us?

He is coming in here where we won't be when he arrives.

Okay. So we're supposed to go where he already is?

Yes. We just need to get to the car

and you need to pee.

I thought you really had to pee.

It's called performance anxiety.

It's a little hard to pee

with you sitting right next to me.

Clearly a bunch of people want you shot.

I knew it couldn't just be your husband and me.

Well, you can shoot us outta here, right?

Shoot us out?

Yeah. You know. Bang bang. Pow pow.

You think this is a 1950s western?

And who are you?

I thought you were non-violent.

I am, but you are not.

I mean, that's what I hired you for, remember?

Well, yeah. When I was supposed to be your midwife.

Also what kind of midwife

walks around with an unconcealed gun?

Can you get us outta here or not?

Well, I mean, are there any other exits?

Well, there's a, a window in the garage. The game room.

That's probably the closest.

Well, where does that take us?

Outside, duh.

Well, a creek.

So your plan is either I shoot us outta here

or we go for a polar bear punch in a freezing creek.

You have a better plan?

Please share.

Oh, okay. There's the pee.

Check upstairs.

Put this on.

What?

Oh god. A lot of good this did you?

Well, it's not designed to protect your leg or your head.

Well, what if I just shot there?

Don't. Also avoid the belly and, and the sides.

Great.

All right, here we go.

The Slay Bell. Frankie silent night.

Oh, whoops.

Naughty on the list.

It doesn't matter if you're on my hit list.

That's the sound of me collecting this bounty.

Feliz Navidad.

You see Santa is full of surprises,

but I gotta say dead looks good on you.

Why am I talking to a dead man?

I've gotta make some friends.

Cookies. Santa loves cookies.

We all know that much, huh?

Oopsie. Best Santa forgot to check twice.

I'm not that easy to knock off the Naughty list.

Say hello to my little helpers.

You got a knack for I'll tossing you.

Go downstairs. Get 'em.

That was my gun.

Billy?

What are you doing?

Where's the router?

Did you just fake a contraction?

What? No.

Then why'd you make that noise?

What noise?

Not that noise.

-No, they're coming. -We gotta keep moving.

If you don't get serious, they'll kill us.

It's that what you manifest, sure.

You're supposed to be protecting me.

That's what I'm trying to do.

Are you kidding me?

Yeah. Yeah.

Serious?

Cringe-worthy.

But you missed my jingle ball.

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Holy night ♪

The least I want.

Why isn't this working, Mary?

Of course, it's not working.

What do you mean of course it's not working.

The password is on the router.

I know.

I said there's one on the router.

The default password.

I didn't say I used it.

Come on using the default password

is the number one way to get hacked.

Oh my gosh. You cannot be serious.

Enter the password.

They're coming. We gotta keep moving.

Absolutely not.

You are wasting time, and we are gonna get killed.

Yeah, if that's what you wanna manifest. Sure.

Hey, I'm Mary and I'm not going anywhere.

What? Oh, you know what?

On second thought, let's run.

Wait, you wanna help me and my baby get outta here,

then I'm gonna stay.

Oh, no. Oh no.

You've called for help here. Time to run.

Stop. You sound like a baby.

Yeah, imitating you.

Now, do you want my help or not, Mary?

All I wanna do is to protect my baby.

Then do that.

Here.

Okay.

That's what you get for killing my buddies, Santa.

Now where did this elf go with my gun?

You better hope he picks up.

I can't believe that you lied.

I didn't lie. I withheld.

And can you not?

You're kind of jogging things down here unnecessarily.

They're gonna get in.

Oh, ah, the skip's here and she's in labor.

Yeah. Yeah, and there's a hitman here and Golden too.

They're in the house.

I need your help back up and an ambulance.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Did, did you just say that the skip is pregnant

and there's a hitman there.

Yes, and Golden too.

Okay, well, where's the skip now?

I have her.

What hitman?

The one you hired to kill your pregnant wife?

I didn't hire a hitman.

But wait, Mary's pregnant?

Oh, damn. What the hell is that for?

Don't play dumb with me.

I'm not.

I swear I didn't, and I, I didn't hire a hitman.

Why would I do that when I'm going back to see her?

She's pregnant.

Yeah.

So if you didn't hire a hit man, then who would've?

Former client maybe.

We stole a lot of money from a lot of, a lot of people.

You know who did it.

You're still owed a phone call.

Let's go. Come on.

Get something.

Those are some fierce cop skills you got here, huh?

Get it go.

I'm on it.

Shot him.

For someone who's nonviolent,

you want an unhealthy number of people shot,

you know that, right?

Going under. I got him.

Oh my God.

You better get down that little axe

away from my baby.

Get, get back.

You are not touching me or my baby.

Self-defense only.

Yeah, he, he's fine.

Ah, bad idea.

I don't want it back. Let's go.

Gotta get outta here now.

You know what?

I'm just gonna slow you down with my leg like this.

Here, take my phone.

It's also my key to my car, which is right out there.

As soon as you get service, call my brother, Nick.

He's listed in my phone as Douchecanoe.

He's douche, but he's, he's never not been there for me.

So when you call him,

tell him what happened and where you are,

and he'll come.

And I will take care of Golden

and whoever else is out there.

And you go start your family.

What are you talking about?

I am not gonna let me or my job ruin another family.

I've already done it once and it's why I'm here now.

You know?

I mean, what are you talking about?

Oh, who knew you could have pregnancy brain

when you're not even pregnant

The thing is...

You had the key in your pocket the entire time.

Yeah, Golden dropped it when he ran.

Oh, God.

It is the only way I could ensure

that you wouldn't run off on me.

After all you did lie to me about the whole password

and router thing, so technically we're even.

I didn't lie.

I withheld to protect my baby.

I mean, so did I.

You, you watched me pee.

I mean, I tried my best not to look.

Come on.

Well, I wish you had,

you would've seen a small human

trying to escape from my vagina.

How metaphoric.

All right.

I guess I am coming with you.

Okay. All right. Mother with child first.

No, I insist you first, so you can help me down.

Okay, yeah. Yeah. Smart.

Yeah. Okay.

Oh man, my leg. Ooh.

Okay. Careful.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, good thing there's a bar out here.

Oh, okay.

Watch yourself.

Alright.

Mary?

Mary?

What the hell are you doing?

Maternal instinct.

What?

For the a millionth time.

I'm trying to protect you, Mary.

I see that, but witness protection

was not a part of my birth plan.

I'm sorry, Jo.

Remember, your focus determines your reality.

The reality is there's henchman and a hitman in there

and it is not safe for you.

That's what this is for.

What?

Wait, wait.

I didn't think you would even touch those things.

I'll do anything to protect my baby.

Well, what are you gonna do?

Shoot up the place.

Yeah, but only in self-defense

against those who are trying to kill me.

Oh, it's Noel.

I'll let her know you'll see her later today.

Jo, remember, manifest success.

No, Mary.

Mary I'm gonna manifest throwing your ass in jail

when I get back in there.

Mary!

Your focus determines your reality.

Manifest success.

The quieter you become, the more you can hear.

Mary.

I have Merry Christmas not you.

No Merry Christmas for them.

Too bad, so sad.

Who are you?

Where is she?

I asked you first Rako.

I'm Rako's uncle.

He lose and not die.

Nice sweater, but I think mine's better.

Tell me what she is or I do the same to you?

I don't know.

And I wouldn't tell your ugly oversized KGBS even if I did.

Okay, suit yourself.

Suit yourself.

Gun's fake.

What?

It's not real.

If you don't tell me where Teresa is

I'll break you like pretzel.

Teresa?

Yes.

How do you know my real name?

I told you I'm not going anywhere

until my midwife gets here.

The midwife, Sasha?

Okay, now how, how, how you, how you know that?

The midwife.

No, no. I'm midwife.

Imposter.

You're an imposter.

Imposter.

I'm not imposter.

I'm a Marshall.

I'm here to help Mary.

I don't know Mary.

The baby, labor.

Maybe your Mary is my Teresa.

Yes.

What the hell kind of a midwife are you?

A midwife that, that protect child new to life.

Oh, you're a coyote.

No wonder Mary had to wait.

Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Yes, I'm Coyote, I'm, I'm midwife.

I do DJ too.

DJ Sasha is on the radio sometimes in Russia.

You know, Mariah?

♪ All I want for Christmas ♪

♪ Hands up ♪

You gotta, you gotta find Mary,

'cause we, we've got a baby.

You've got a baby to deliver.

Yes, baby. You're right.

I forgot about the baby.

Hey, look, you know, I'm, I'm really sorry

about that whole ugly oversight.

It, it's fine, it's fine.

I, I am former KGB though.

I'm former KGB and big.

I'm, I'm very, very big.

But the ugly...

Yeah. That was like totally,

totally understood.

I dunno, I dunno about the ugly.

The ugly was, it was a lot.

It was not unnecessary. Is heat the moment kind of stuff.

It, it, it kind of hurt.

It, it hurt me a little.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it was heat of the moment

and I'm, I'm real sorry.

It's, it's fine.

Please, it's okay.

I tried to kill you, so we're even.

We're even, huh?

Cool.

-Yeah, you did. -Okay.

Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

Mary.

Mary, yes.

Okay, let's go.

Yeah.

After, after me, or after you.

Our future depends on what we do in the present.

Inhale the future.

Exhale the past.

A star begins to fill with a single drop.

A journey begins with a single step.

His name is...

Oh my God.

Mary, why?

Breast pump, it helps speed up labor.

I figured I could move a lot quicker

with the baby on the outside.

Not that, that.

I told you I would do what I had to do to protect my baby.

No, but that, that, that man

was trying to protect your baby.

Who?

Him. That's Sasha.

What?

Or was.

Oh my God.

Jo, what have I done?

No, no, no, no, no.

Before tonight, I was a nonviolent law abiding citizen

who wouldn't touch a gun.

Now I'm a gun towing murderer.

But you're, you're not a, a murderer.

-You're a... -I'm sorry.

I mean No, no, you're just...

You thought that he was gonna harm you

and clearly shot him in self defense.

And that makes you a manslaughter at most.

He wasn't just my midwife, he was my coyote.

I know.

I withheld that too.

Why?

Because you never would've let us stay

and wait for him if you'd known he was coming here

to deliver my baby and get us outta here.

Then why bother with a coyote?

Why not just go into witness protection

if you're trying to, you know, start fresh.

I already told you I can't begin to tell you

the things I've gone through to carry this baby.

Begin.

All I ever wanted was a family.

But Peter wanted...

So you are having this baby to try to keep him.

What?

No. Peter wanted the business, that was his baby.

So I had to put mine on hold.

Before we launched the firm,

I froze my eggs.

I thought that if I helped give Peter what he wanted,

he'd do the same for me.

But he didn't, instead he cheated on me

and left me for one of our youngest clients.

Used our business to embezzle millions with her,

and then tried to frame me for all of it.

And it was only after the FBI informed me of all of that,

that I agreed to testify and go into witness protection.

I thought that I could start a new life

and a family on my own.

The only problem was that the eggs

belonged to Mary Newton not Theresa Brady.

If I went into witness protection, IVF was out,

and I didn't wanna wait for what I wanted any longer.

Well, then why didn't you just do the in vitro

and then go into witness protection?

Definitely would've been a lot easier than fleeing,

avoiding people and being found.

Yeah, and safer too for both of us.

You're right about that.

Yeah.

But honestly, I just didn't wanna start my baby's life out

with a lie, after I had in vitro

and found out I was pregnant, I just ran.

And I've been having to lie as a result ever since.

Yeah, that happens.

What happens?

Doing the exact opposite of what you set out to do.

Your brother?

All he ever wanted to do was protect my family.

That's why I became a marshal in the first place.

Well, what happened?

I found out his wife was running a cat fishing

and money laundering ring online

and I arrested her and, yeah.

And you and your brother had a falling out

because you put your badge in front of your family?

Sort of.

Our falling out stem more from the fact that

I accused my brother of knowing what she was doing

and putting his family in peril

by turning a blind eye to it.

And then things didn't really get any better

when I tried to remedy the situation

by vouching for her with the courts

so that she could get bail

only to have her skip out on my brother, my niece,

and the court date resulting in...

Golden.

Yeah.

Is it true that she's pregnant?

Frankie Anthony?

Press the key if you can hear me.

Yeah, Slay Bell aint pressing anything.

He's a silent one now.

Oh, I see. I don't care what happened to him.

All I care about is getting what I want.

Now tell me, who is this?

You can call me, The Grinch.

The Grinch.

No, I'm not calling you that.

Okay, Golden's fine then.

You're that Bounty Hunter, huh?

Listen to me very carefully, Golden.

Forget about the measly 200,000 bounty you're after.

Deliver Mary to me with the baby

along with Peter and pay you what Frankie was gonna get,

1 million dollars.

So in trying to protect my family, I ruined it instead.

Jo, you didn't ruin it.

You did what you thought was best for Noel

and Douchecanoe, right?

Things falling apart

sometimes is a testing and also a healing.

Just call 'em and make things right.

Absolutely not.

Please.

-Nope. -For me.

Nope. We are not gonna do this.

We've already been through this.

I have tried to make amends and you know what,

I like it's not my fault that his wife up and left.

You know, I have, I have literally sat outside of that house

every day watching Noel

every time he's been on call for the last six months,

so that my decision to arrest his criminal wife

didn't become a financial burden for him or his family.

You know, calling me is the least that he can do.

No, I mean, now.

Please, Jo for me, please.

Really.

I need you to get this baby outta me safely.

Oh, ooh.

Okay.

Nick.

Hey, Jo, you okay?

And tell me about the mother.

I'm fine. What?

Wait, how do you know about the, what?

Noel, your texts.

Come on.

Did you text my brother?

I told you I was going to.

What the hell did you say?

Nothing.

Oh, Merry Christmas.

And that you were sorry,

and you couldn't wait to spend Christmas

with your family.

Mary, what in the actual...

Oh, Merv called too.

What?

Merv?

He said EMTs were having trouble

making their way up to you right now.

So you might need some help with the mom and the baby.

Speaking of which,

tell me how long she's been in labor right now.

Do you know how far she's dilated to?

About eight hours.

What are you dilated to, Mary?

I don't know.

How am I supposed to know that?

You're gonna have to check the cervix.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Let me talk to her.

All right.

Mary, Douchecanoe, Douchecanoe, Mary.

Hey Mary. How you doing?

You know, I'm Dr. Douchecanoe,

but most people call me Nick.

Let's, let's just get into this a little bit here.

Have you ever felt your cervix?

Do you know what it felt like before all this?

No.

I'm gonna have Jo do it.

Mary, are you comfortable with that?

Yes.

-What? No. -Yes.

Jo, just tell me what you see.

Let's start with that.

I see a pregnant woman

who shouldn't have shot her coyote midwife.

What?

Nothing. Jesus.

Okay, just tell me, just tell me what I have to do.

Okay, Jo, before you do anything at all,

can you see the baby's head?

If the cervix is fully dilated,

the head should be crowning at this point.

I mean, can I just tell you that I see it

even if I don't?

What happens then?

Fetal distress,

Perennial tears, potential stillborn.

Jo, stay with me.

Okay.

Hmm. Okay.

Just gonna spread these open just a little bit

so I can...

Oh, oh, nope.

Don't see anything. Don't see it.

Okay, Jo, I want you to gently take your middle finger

and your index finger.

That's right.

And insert them into her vagina, gently.

Okay. This is happening.

Not with your gross, bare hands, Jo.

Sasha brought a bag.

Okay.

Look. Hey, how convenient.

Plus, yeah, this will help. Right, right.

All right.

Oh my gosh.

How have they not invented

something better than this by now?

Look at me.

I'm just like you.

Okay.

God, it so gross.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah. Can you, you know what?

Both of you just stop staring at me, okay?

You're making me nervous.

Jo, just tell me what you feel.

Shame, confusion.

Regret.

I really never should have accused you

of knowing what your wife was doing.

I'm, I'm really sorry.

That was really wrong.

Really?

Really, Jo.

You gonna choose now to apologize to him?

Now?

What do you feel?

Okay, it's real spongy in there.

Perfect. Perfect.

Okay, go to the end of that hallway

and I want you to feel for a door.

Are you serious?

Yes. Jo, feel for the door.

Okay. Yep, found the door.

Good. Good, good, good.

Okay, we're onto something here.

Just tell me how open it is.

It's ajar.

Is it hard?

I don't know. Not really.

Feel for the baby's head.

I don't know.

Look and see.

I don't want to.

Jo, you have to do this.

Come on. Can you see the baby's head?

Oh man. It's like the red wedding up in here.

Blood and mucus?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Alright. Yeah, that's the bloody show.

Good.

Oh, you better not, you better not.

Which sure is.

Basically her mucus plug has just dropped,

so you guys are probably about eight centimeters.

Okay, great.

Now what?

Now you wait.

For what?

Me to dilate two more centimeters.

Oh, great.

Oh. Oh.

Jo?

Jo?

Dad, Merv's here.

Hold on one second. I think Merv's at the door.

Any luck with the EMTs?

I got Jo on the phone,

she's been waiting for you.

Stay on the floor.

Aunty Jo, he has a gun.

Merv, what are you doing?

I'm taking lead for a change.

Dad, are you okay?

It's gonna be okay.

Don't you dare.

Or else, what, Jo?

You're there. I'm here.

I mean, what are you gonna do?

What do you want, Merv?

I'm on brand.

I'm doing it for the same reason you are, family.

Except I want what he wants.

-Jo. -Who?

Golden.

And since there's no place to go, gimme her, Jo.

Gimme her, Jo.

Gimme her, Jo.

He offered me 100 K.

What did it take for you to flip?

Flip? No, no, no, no, no, no.

This whole partnership was my idea.

So I feed him our tips

and he films our grabs for clicks.

And you make me look like an ass.

Well, I was gonna say that we split everything 50/50

but making you look like an ass,

that's just icing on the cake.

Since when?

Hey, don't ask questions

you know you already know the answer to.

Come on.

You put the job before your family

and my family just profited from it.

Which brings us here, Jo.

You have a choice to make.

It's the same one it's always been,

your family or your job

because you're gonna lose one tonight.

Yeah. You know, either way,

I'm gonna take your new little friend here

on this glorious Christmas morning.

Only difference is whether you

or your family have another time to see it, okay?

How do I know I can trust you?

I'm an opportunist, not a liar.

Following this little Yankee swap, you have my word

that Nick and Noel will be returned to you unharmed.

And how do you know you can trust me

not to turn you in after all this is over?

Oh, I don't.

Which is why accounts were created under your name

and incremental deposits made

after each one of Golden snags,

beginning with the Noel's Mom,

you turn us in, you go down too.

Just take her before anything happens to the baby.

No.

And before I change my mind.

We'll meet you at the extraction point.

Get it?

Extraction point

because you're gonna deliver her baby.

Oh, and merry Christmas, Jo.

No.

Let's go, let's go.

No, no, no.

Let's go.

Jo?

Jo?

No. Jo, help.

No, no, no.

Not unless you wanna ruin Christmas for your friend here.

You know what.

Let's go.

Let's go.

I don't like Christmas after all.

Ah.

Oh, blood.

What?

Oh.

Mary?

Ow.

Noel.

Ow.

Nick, Noel.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Good girl.

Good girl. I see you.

Okay.

Yep.

Oh, good.

Painkillers.

And a syrup.

Coming for you.

Noel, I'm coming for you.

Okay.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Coming for you, Noel.

Okay.

Okay.

One more.

Ah, okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Manifest success.

All right, I'm feeling better.

I got this.

All right, call Winters.

Oh, oh, Merry Christmas, Johnston.

That is not why I'm calling Winters.

Merv is the one who's been tipping off Golden.

And he's been splitting the bounties

and I've tracked him to the Bethlehem Airport

and I need backup.

Bethlehem. Slow down.

So you're not calling to wish me, Merry Christmas.

Focus. He's got my niece, my brother,

and a woman in labor and he could kill 'em all.

Hey, Bethlehem Airport, hmm.

Hey, copy that.

Do not engage until we get there.

Understand?

Sure thing.

Johnston, you hear me?

Jo?

So, what are we having?

We, we haven't been together in well over two years

since you left me for that psycho.

On what planet do you think this baby is possibly yours?

And what would make you think

I'd ever wanna be with somebody who would lie

and cheat on me, steal from me,

and then try to blame me for all of it.

Mary, were you trying to or what?

Like you liking his oldest pic online

wasn't some thirst trap you set to lure him back.

Thirst trap?

You both are delusional.

It was an accident.

So wait, are you trying to tell me,

you actually put a head out on me

because you thought I wanted him back.

I would never want him back.

He's all yours.

But I didn't know about the baby.

Oh my God, it sounds like

the Nutcracker Ballet in here, guys.

Look, I made the deliveries as promise.

Now why don't you transfer them funds?

Yes, sir.

You'll get the money once we get the baby.

So why don't you go get him so he can deliver.

Go

Yeah, that's not gonna work like that.

Peter.

Need a water or something?

There you go baby.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

You all right there. Let me get this.

What is this?

Stay behind me.

What do you want?

Look, don't touch her.

Just take me, take me, here.

You can have me let her go.

Please. Please let.

Noel.

Sit down.

Sit down like your daddy before you get hurt, right?

Huh?

Get down there like your papa, huh?

Don't do it. Don't do it.

Don't do it.

Hey, hey, don't do it.

You gonna deliver baby now, huh?

You know they say every time a bell rings

an angel gets its wings.

Looks like that angel just found

a one way ticket to a mere concussion.

Whoa.

Pump your brakes there Mr. Potter.

It's Christmas.

Besides half of that money's mine.

Was.

I got you babe.

Noel, you okay?

Oh yeah, doctor finally got a taste of his own medicine.

He's fine, okay?

He'll be fine.

Told you I'll see you on Christmas.

Yeah, I'm sure this is exactly

what you had in mind, isn't it?

I was

Hi five.

What's the plan, what can I do?

We are gonna get you outta here to safety

because the marshals are on their way, okay?

No, let's go get those cockroaches.

God, you are stubborn, you know that.

Okay fine.

But do exactly what I say and do not talk, alright?

I'm coming for you Nick.

Don't go anywhere, stay within.

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

Sending you the money right now, eh?

I see, that wasn't so hard was it, huh?

Hands up.

You really gonna shoot me Jo, huh?

Oh Lord, this is it.

You shot Merv.

Merry Christmas to all and to all the good nights.

Get on the ground.

Jo. Jo. No, no, no.

Please don't leave me.

I need you to help me deliver this baby.

Please don't go.

Please.

Okay, you know what?

I don't have drugs 'cause I took your drugs, okay.

Or gloves so...

This was not part of my birth plan.

Well, it looks like,

it looks like I'm gonna be the first to welcome you

to motherhood because this little one doesn't give a damn.

It's out.

Oh, eyes, ears.

There's something connected.

No else ever connected.

Aunty Jo.

Connected, connected.

Don't do that to me.

It is just,

oh, it's a beautiful baby boy if you say so.

Sure.

Oh, I always assumed it was a girl this whole time.

Oh, thank you Jo. He's perfect.

Hi

Wow. What are you gonna name him?

Don't know yet, maybe Joseph.

Not bad.

You know you can have a really cool nickname like Jo.

Hi Jo.

Jo Junior.

Jo Junior.

Marshals coming.

What are you doing?

I'm going to get what I paid for.

Mary said the baby isn't mine.

And you believe everything that comes out of her mouth.

Start the plane.

Tada, I'll be back.

Will this work?

Guess that's what we got.

Hello pretty girl.

Gimme the baby.

Right now give it to me.

Come here. It's okay.

Don't you touch that.

I paid for it.

Give it to me.

Never.

Give it to me, it's mine.

Good thing these drugs are kicking in.

God, let's leave this airport already.

That woman is crazy.

So was it a boy?

What?

What?

He's white?

I told you that baby wasn't mine.

No.

Damn it!

No.

The baby isn't real.

No.

Jo?

So they got away?

Looks like Santa went rogue.

And the others?

Safe.

Well, strength isn't about what you could do, Jo.

It's about overcoming what you thought you couldn't.

Gotta be impressed.

I'm proud of you.

You are, sir?

Sir?

Oh my.

My, my, my.

Nice shot, Jo.

What do we got next?

Oh, that's my favorite.

Oh, she's putting up an ornament, you like that?

Perfect.

That looks pretty, doesn't it?

Next year there'll be one up there for you too.

Wanna give it smoke.

What's next?

Oh, it's for mama.

Thank you, honey.

Oh, it's my favorite.

Joseph, you want cut?

Oh.

Oh, can you give that to me, honey?

That's all of us.

Oh, I love that one.

That's my favorite.

Perfect.

Told you Santa always delivers.

-He sure does. -He does.

Well, looks like all we have left is tinsel.

Oh no, no. I swear to God.

You put tinsel on that tree, I am leaving.

What is it with you and tinsel?

Come on, Jo.

Seriously I love tinsel.

I love tinsel too. Is sparkling fun.

I have my reasons.

I don't know. It's three against one.

Oh, Joseph, do you like tinsel?

Do you like tinsel?

Yeah.

Four.

Four against one

Sister rolled out.

Completely rolled out.

Bye guys.

See y'all.

See y'all next year.

I'm out.

I gonna go get the tinsel.

♪ Where my homie Santa with the gifts ♪

♪ He told me that he double checked the list ♪

♪ One time, two time, do a fly by ♪

♪ Gone in a flash, he'll be done by sunrise ♪

♪ Where my homie Santa with the gifts ♪

♪ Where he at ♪

♪ He told me that he double checked the list ♪

♪ One time, two times, third time charm ♪

♪ Imagine all the joy that we'll feel in the morning ♪

♪ Bells ringing angelic ♪

♪ Spirit in my bones ♪

♪ Angels in the snow ♪

♪ Airports packed ♪

♪ People trying to make it home ♪

♪ Gibson a sack whole city in a globe ♪

♪ Shovel in the streets ♪

♪ Sprinkle salt at our feet ♪

♪ Ice skating where you step ♪

♪ I'm as jolly as it gets ♪

♪ Dressed in all red ♪

♪ Stuffing treats in a stocking ♪

♪ Hella gingerbread ♪

♪ Peppermint milk chocolate ♪

♪ Makes me chili, trenched coat, scarf ♪

♪ With the Gucci print silky ♪

♪ Drag a whole tree through the crib ♪

♪ The rug filthy ♪

♪ Gumbo on the porch ♪

♪ Rolling up some mistletoe ♪

♪ Was colder than the study knows ♪

♪ Where my homie Santa with the gifts ♪

♪ Where he at ♪

♪ He told me that he double checked the list ♪

♪ One time, two times, do a fly by ♪

♪ Gone in a flash ♪

♪ He'll be done by sunrise ♪

♪ Where my homie Santa with the gifts ♪

♪ Where he at ♪

♪ He told me that he double checked the list ♪

♪ One time, two times, third time charm ♪

♪ Imagine all the joy that we'll feel in the morning ♪

♪ Slay bell singing with chestnut overheat ♪

♪ Cookies and milk I'm trying to add my BMI ♪

♪ But they taste so sweet, man ♪

♪ I do this every time, every holiday season ♪

♪ I got watch my waistline, but it's fine ♪

♪ Matchbox cars and Lego sets for the kiddos ♪

♪ Send a big stepping on the roof like the fiddler ♪

♪ Snowflakes dancing in the light like crystals ♪

♪ Hot cold coat with marshmallows as you waiting ♪

♪ Ornaments hanging like decorations ♪

♪ Happy Hanukkah and Kwanza to all my neighbors ♪

♪ Holiday cheer to all my people that need it ♪

♪ I'm filled with the spirit ♪

♪ I share with those who receiving ♪

♪ Where my homie Santa with the gifts ♪

♪ He told me that he double checked the list ♪

♪ One time, two times, do a fly by ♪

♪ Gone in a flash ♪

♪ He'll be done by sunrise ♪

♪ Where my homie Santa with the gifts ♪

♪ Where he at ♪

♪ He told me that he double checked the list ♪

♪ One time, two times, third time charm ♪

♪ Imagine all the joy that we'll feel in the morning ♪

♪ 'Cause we'll store a little bit ♪

♪ We'll store a little for you ♪

♪ 'Cause we'll store a little bit ♪

♪ We'll store a little for you ♪

♪ 'Cause we'll store a little bit ♪

♪ We'll store a little for you ♪