Original subtitles

[Static crackles]

-I'm Joe Bob Briggs, on the next-to-the-last week

of the season.

What do they call that?

On the penultimate.

This is the penultimate show of the season.

And it's Devil Appreciation Night.

We're dealing with all kinds of demonic themes

throughout the evening.

We're trying to get a little Satanism into our diet

before time runs out on us.

Darcy, can you believe it?

-Believe what?

-We're leaving next week!

-Yeah. I mean, that's not a secret.

-"Day of the Beast"! In the beastly season.

I feel like we're getting back to old-school horror

right before we go back out into the dangerous world.

-Not with subtitles, we're not.

-[Laughter] -Yeah, your right.

We're gonna get flak for "El Día de la Bestia"

because if you took a poll of our hard-core fans

on what they think about subtitles,

half of them would say, "Joe Bob, you're killing me.

Stop with that stuff." And the other half would say,

"Why don't they just dub the movie into English?"

Which is a good question. They used to do that all the time.

30 years ago, any horror movie from a foreign country

would be automatically dubbed into English.

Why don't they do that anymore? It's now considered --

It's considered "low-class" to do that.

Darcy the Mail Girl is here

to keep up the social-media connection

the rest of this evening.

Just send her your tweets, your e-mails, your Instas,

any other communications -- mostly Twitter.

We tend to live on Twitter during the actual movie.

But we want hear from you

no matter how you choose to interact.

Anyhow, the reason I like this story is that it's about a guy

who comes from a poor part of the country.

He thinks the world is about to be destroyed.

And so he goes to the capital and sacrifices himself

for the benefit of everybody else.

And I like him 'cause he has a nerdy, annoying personality,

so nobody believes he could really be the guy

who's gonna save the world.

So, the story takes place in Spain in 1995,

when that country had bad unemployment

and a lot of social unrest.

But it reminded me of what this country is going through now

but actually went through several times before.

Did you know that, in 1933, when the country was really sick

and nobody knew what to do about it,

people got in their cars, just drove to Washington,

and presented themselves at the White House or the Capitol

or the Works Progress Administration,

and they just said, "What can I do to help?"

Lawyers did it. Railroad executives did it.

Sometimes bankers would take a leave of absence

or even quit their jobs altogether

to go help the Federal Reserve as it tried to keep banks afloat

and stave off runs during the Depression.

Farmers got together at the local markets

and they would elect a person to go help out,

and then they passed a hat to collect enough money

to pay the man's train fare to Washington.

Chambers of commerce sent men to Washington.

The Masons sent men to Washington.

There were professors who didn't represent

any company or organization at all,

but they had specialized knowledge

that could be put to use.

They went to Washington.

Writers, the most anti-social species ever to walk the earth,

went to Washington

and voluntarily worked for the government.

They produced these state travel guides that are --

Some of them are still worth reading today.

And when all these people got to Washington,

President Roosevelt held the door open for them.

And they were put to work. Committees were formed.

Conference rooms in government buildings

were converted into offices.

I got this John Dos Passos quote, the novelist.

He watched the whole thing in amazement, and he said that,

"Some worked on folding chairs and card tables in corridors.

And when the offices closed, they hurriedly ate

and went home and sat smoking in their shirt sleeves

in hotel rooms, still checking programs, industrial pricelists,

fair-trade practices, standards of wages,

and working conditions,

poring red-eyed over dog-eared acts of Congress

in the dense tiny print of the Government Printing Office."

And slowly, by stages,

the country started to work, too.

It sounds crazy, but these guys just went to Washington

and created jobs by simply willing the job to exist.

And the joy in their work was contagious.

'Cause these men worked 12 hours a day

breaking rocks in state parks

to be used to build hiking trails.

And they were grateful for the chance.

And a lot of them destroyed their spines

digging drainage ditches in places

that still had dirt roads.

And most of them still praised Roosevelt

for creating the job in the first place.

And there was never any extra money.

There was no stimulus check.

There were no unemployment benefits.

There was no Social Security.

There was no Medicare. There was no Medicaid.

And things didn't get better for a long, long time.

Foreign trade didn't get any better.

Stock market was still not recovering.

And most people had nothing.

And all Roosevelt could do was say,

"Come help out. We'll get through it."

And people did. They helped out.

They put their own interests aside for a few years,

and they put the country first.

And most of them weren't even paid.

Isn't that quaint?

But, you know, that was people

born more than a hundred years ago,

so they were much less sophisticated than we are.

So, right now we're gonna watch "The Day of the Beast,"

the breakout movie of Alex de la Iglesia,

the man considered responsible for bringing horror

back to Spain in 1995 with this movie.

It won six Goya Awards,

which is Spain's version of the Oscars,

and it was a huge box-office hit.

The style of it is not quite like any other horror movie

you'll ever see, and people sometimes

have trouble figuring it out until well into the second half,

so I'm not gonna do any spoilers.

I'm just gonna encourage you to settle in

and let it carry you away.

It's the story of a priest at a university

who discovers the exact date and exact city

where the Antichrist is gonna show up,

and so, in order to save mankind,

he has to go there and commit as many sins as possible

so that he'll be recruited into the world of Satanism

so that he can either stop the birth

or kill the spawn of Beelzebub.

It's like a "Mission: Impossible" episode,

a spy thriller about a secret agent going deep undercover,

only he's going deep undercover into hell.

Let's look at those drive-in totals

and get this death-metal rave started.

We have 16 dead bodies, 1 dead rabbit,

1 horned goat, 1 whangdoodle,

1 street brawl, 1 home invasion,

1 gun battle, 1 hanging,

1 skyscraper death plunge,

1 motor vehicle chase,

1 makeshift Satanic rite

with flaming pentagram and death-metal mixtape,

1 Nazi street gang, cross crushing,

cane clubbing, elbow to the face,

random grave desecration, amputee abuse,

multiple face clubbing, paint-job destruction,

mime abuse, homeless theft,

tramp burning, luggage stealing,

shoplifter pummeling, girlfriend chasing,

book stealing, foot abuse,

gratuitous Nostradamus lecture,

tarot fu, cigarette fu,

gong fu, cryptography fu,

LSD fu, shotgun fu, electrocution Fu.

Drive-In Academy Award nominations for...

Alex Angulo as the goofy priest on a mission

for saying, "I must learn to do evil."

Terele Pávez as the old lady

who wants to blow the balls off burglars.

Santiago Segura as the record-shop metalhead

who decides to be muscle for the priest.

Armando de Razza as the phony TV-host fortune-teller

in black leather

who gets converted to his own fake beliefs.

And Alex de la Iglesia, the writer-director,

for inventing a new style of horror.

Three stars. Joe Bob says check it out.

You know, when I was in college, they had laws in Spain

that if you made fun of the Catholic Church,

they could basically disembowel you

and feed you to wild pigs, you know?

The fact that this movie can be made at all is evidence

that it doesn't matter which dictators try to suppress

which media, sooner or later,

the subversive horror film will prevail.

The censor always loses.

But, more important,

the censor always ends up looking silly.

There's no defense against comedy.

Are you listening,

all you self-serious angry dudes on the Internet?

Comedy is the answer, people!

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

[Bell tolling]

[Crow cawing]

[Bell tolling stops]

[Door opens and closes]

[Bell tolling]

[Whispering indistinctly]

[Bell tolling stops]

[Thud]

♪♪

♪♪

[Air brakes hiss]

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♪♪

♪♪

[Street band playing]

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

[Stammering]

Hey!

[Siren wailing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-[Gasping faintly]

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♪♪

♪♪

[Radio chatter]

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♪♪

[Click]

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[Coins rattle]

♪♪

♪♪

-Aah! Aah!

[Clattering]

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[Indistinct conversations]

♪♪

♪♪

[Siren wailing]

♪♪

[Tires screech]

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[Indistinct shouting]

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[Woman speaking Spanish on television]

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[Siren wailing]

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[Bell jingles]

-[Grunts]

-Yeah.

[Bell jingles]

[Death-metal music plays]

[Record needle scratches]

[Music playing in reverse]

[Click]

[Death-metal music plays]

♪♪

[Indistinct conversations]

♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

[Door opens]

[Ominous music plays]

♪♪

[Toilet flushes in distance]

♪♪

[Coughing]

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[Sizzling]

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[Festive music playing]

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[Ominous music plays]

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♪♪

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-Yeah.

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[Tires screech]

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[Keys jingling]

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[Scraping]

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[Static crackles]

-And, so, the strangest priest in the history of Catholicism --

is he crazy or is he inspired? --

starts us down the path toward encountering The Beast.

He keeps referring to the Apocalypse of John,

which is the book of the Bible that most churches

just call Revelation.

And what's that full of?

Beasts and prophecies.

Whenever you have soothsayers getting involved with the Bible,

that's the book they go to.

And it turns out our priest is a cryptographer

who asks people whether they're familiar with Tritheism.

All right. What does that mean?

He's talking about this guy named Johannes Trithemius

who was a Benedictine monk in the 15th century

and he wrote all these books where he supposedly discovered

secret meanings in the Bible.

He was considered a heretic,

and all his books were on the Catholic Church banned list

until 1990 when he was liberated from the banned list

when it was shown that

he was not advocating magic and sorcery;

he was just counting words and letters

and things like that to come up with theories

about hidden messages that God was supposedly sending us --

in Latin, of course.

In other words, the Vatican decided

he was stupid but harmless,

so they took him off the banned list.

Anyway, Johannes Trithemius is considered

the founder of modern occultism,

meaning everything involving ESP, magic, alchemy --

all the stuff that the smooth dude on TV is talking about.

So, the priest is played by an actor named Alex Angulo,

who would later have a role in the Oscar-winning

"Pan's Labyrinth" as Doctor Ferreiro.

He was from the troubled Basque Country of Northeastern Spain,

which is also where the director,

Alex de la Iglesia, is from.

He was a schoolteacher there,

and then he got into acting

with Karraka, the Bilbao-based theater troupe.

He's best remembered in Spain for a TV comedy series

called "Periodistas"

about the people working at a Madrid newspaper.

But this was the movie that made his career take off.

It's known as a sort of everyman "normal guy" comedian.

He often worked with a Groucho Marx mustache.

Sadly, died in a car accident at the age of 61.

He was 42 when this movie came out.

All right. At this point, he has been out there

sinning as much as he's capable of --

pushing mimes off ledges,

telling dying men they're going to rot in hell,

and trying to find a metal band that puts out satanic messages

when their records are played backwards.

And those cigarette burns on the soles of his feet --

that's a new one for me.

I think he's doing fake stigmata?

Or maybe it's a sin to mutilate your skin? I don't know.

Anyway, he's assuming that if he finds enough ways to sin,

the devil will find him and confide in him

about the details of the Antichrist.

But it seems to me he started too late.

'Cause everything goes down on Christmas Eve, which is tonight.

So let's roll the film.

I should know exactly what happens

when the Antichrist shows up,

but I'm a little rusty on my Revelations scholarship.

I haven't read that stuff lately.

But I think it could be interpreted as a good thing,

because the Antichrist substitutes himself in power,

and then you have seven years

of famine and plague and destruction,

and then Christ comes back and fixes everything, right?

I mean, the Second Coming, that's a good thing, right?

Except that part about being raptured up.

I don't like that part. I don't like the idea

of being jerked out of your Uber car and air-mailed up to heaven

in the middle of the afternoon.

You know, if Jesus comes back, I would prefer

he just stick me in a condo somewhere.

I don't need the whole jet-pack thing.

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Death-metal music plays]

♪♪

♪♪

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause on television]

-[Sobbing]

-[Screaming]

-[Gasping]

[Cheers and applause]

[Thunder rumbling]

♪♪

[Thunder rumbling]

["Silent Night" playing in Spanish]

♪♪

[Ominous music plays]

[Engine starts]

[Brakes squeal]

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♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Classical music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Television playing faintly]

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[Voicemail beeps]

[Doorbell rings]

[Ominous chord strikes]

♪♪

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-See, I think when you're trying to prevent

the birth of the Antichrist, no measure is too extreme,

so stalking a fake TV healer

and knocking him out with a gong mallet --

completely reasonable if it gets you closer to Satan.

Alex de la Iglesia, the writer-director,

actually attended a Jesuit university,

actually the oldest private university in Spain --

Deusto University in Bilbao, the capital of Basque Country.

And so he probably knew

a few eccentric Jesuits like this priest.

De la Iglesia --

and his name means "of the church," by the way --

started out drawing comic books when he was 10 years old,

but he always wanted to make films,

and by the time he was in his mid-twenties,

he was winning awards for his short films,

and then he made a sci-fi comedy called "Mutant Action"

that won a lot of festival awards,

but this was his first major film,

and this was the film that really launched his career.

In fact, this film became so famous

that he was asked to direct

a Rosie Perez, Javier Bardem film

in English called "Perdita Durango."

In the United States, they released it as

"Dance with the Devil."

It was sort of like a comedy version

of "Natural Born Killers"

about a couple of crazed sexy occultists

on a crime spree.

And then he's made quite a few flicks since then,

and he's been honored at many festivals,

but this is still the movie everybody talks about.

He has a flick called "Dying of Laughter."

It's about a two-man comedy team that reunites

after being apart for a while, and they just loathe each other,

but they have to do comedy together.

He has an interesting heist flick

called "Witching & Bitching."

He made an updated spaghetti western called "800 Bullets."

He did a satirical movie about the media

with Salma Hayek called "As Luck Would Have It."

The most conventional movie he ever made

is "The Oxford Murders" with Elijah Wood and John Hurt.

But most people, when they think of de la Iglesia,

they think of "Day of the Beast."

He's a satirist.

If he gets very far from satire, he's uneasy.

You know, he has the irresistible urge

to point out how messed up everything is.

And I sympathize with that.

Okay. Back to the movie.

See, the problem the satirist has in this day and age

is that it's your job to point out

how the conventional wisdom is wrong.

But when the conventional wisdom

is defended by millions of people online

who are emotional about it,

they'll go out of their way to bury you.

They'll say you have malicious intent, you know?

They'll say, "Well, I think satire's great,

but you can't go over the line.

You can't go too far."

When it's kind of your job to go over the line and too far.

So, de la Iglesia has a script

that he sends around to producers,

and they all want to seethe movie

but none of them want to makethe movie.

Because it's such a politically incorrect idea --

It's so politically incorrect

that we will not be talking about it on this show

because I just don't go there anymore.

It's one of those topics that I self-censor.

And if I'mself-censoring, you know things are bad.

Someday, you know -- Somebody will make that script

80 years from now when we're all dead,

and people will say, "You know there was this dark time

in Western history when you couldn't even do topics like this?"

And everybody will nod approvingly

because they'll be much more enlightened people.

They'll be defending brand-new prejudices

that haven't been invented yet, right?

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

♪♪

[Siren wailing]

[Death-metal music playing]

[Bell tolling]

♪♪

-[Laughs]

[Laughing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-[Grunting]

[Beeping]

-[Sighs]

[Gong crashes]

[Vase shatters]

[Doorbell ringing frantically]

♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Screams]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Up-tempo music playing on stereo]

[Siren wailing]

[Thunder crashes]

[Static crackles]

-The girlfriend who gets chased down the stairs and knocked out

is Maria Grazia Cucinotta,

a famous Italian model -- Sicilian, actually --

who had just come off a big award-winning

international movie called "Il Postino."

She was Beatrice Russo,

the local beauty being wooed by the postman.

She would go on to become a Bond Girl

in "The World is Not Enough," one of those really good

Pierce Brosnan James Bond movies,

and she's continued to act right up until the present day,

mostly in Italy.

Her boyfriend in the movie is also Italian, Armando de Razza,

although I think both of them are playing Spaniards

for the purposes of this film.

I think the reason the priest interrogates the talk-show host

about, "How do you possibly know whether Susana

is a virgin or not?"

is to show just how unworldly the priest is, you know?

He's never even watched a TV show

until he watches Cavan doing the exorcism on the little boy

in an obviously fake setup.

So the priest has been in his cloister for years and years,

virtually his whole life,

and it's his innocence of the ways of the world

that makes him do things no one else would do

and trust that doing something like searching for virgin blood

will turn out okay simply because God is on his side.

In fact, now that I think about it, the two main actors --

the priest and the death-metal record-shop dude --

are like the two most famous characters

in Spanish literature, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza.

Right? Don Quixote is probably crazy, but in a good way.

And Sancho Panza is intensely loyal to him.

And together they go on a quest, right?

I don't know where this apartment building is

where they got Cavan tied up, but I think I wanna live there.

I haven't been to Madrid since I was a student,

but I actually stayed in a pension

very much like the one owned

by the bigoted old lady in the movie.

You gave her the cash every morning at breakfast

to stay the next day, and then she'd be nice to you.

And if you told her you were there

to search for the Antichrist, she would have helped you,

as long as you gave her that cash at breakfast.

Anyway, back to the movie.

There was a guy named Solovyov, a Russian,

who wrote a book called "A Short Tale of the Antichrist,"

and he thought the Antichrist would appear as a lawyer.

You know?

He would be an internationalist and a humanist

and an ecologist and a pacifist,

and he would bring all the religions of the world together

and tell them all that they were good

and that they were the same,

and he would talk them into eventually abandoning

their beliefs in order to be popular and together.

This actually sounds like a better strategy to me

than the whole "war, pestilence, famine" thing.

You know, four horsemen of Notre Dame

or whatever that thing is.

I gotta think the devil is pretty good at psyching us out.

You know, it'd be like him to just say,

"Let's join hands and act

like our various gods are stupid."

And pretty soon nobody believes anything, and he wins.

Anyway, I don't know about all that,

but I ampretty sure that Satan is a lawyer.

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

[Bell ringing]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

-[Giggling]

Aah!

-[Thunder crashes] -[Shrieks]

[Liquid splashes]

♪♪

♪♪

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[Buzzing]

[Thunder crashes]

[Buzzing]

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[Thunder crashes]

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[Door closes]

[Thunder crashes]

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♪♪

[Gun cocks]

-[Whimpering]

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♪♪

[Gunshot]

[Gun cocks]

[Gunshot]

-[Screaming]

[Screaming]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Screaming]

♪♪

[Sirens approaching]

♪♪

♪♪

[Electricity buzzing]

[Door opens and closes]

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-[Grunting]

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[Woman shrieks]

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-Susana! Susana!

♪♪

♪♪

[Thud]

[Static crackles]

-All of these physical slapstick scenes are brilliant.

They remind me of theatrical farces

where people are constantly opening doors

and pursuing one another, and as soon as one door is opened,

the person they're looking for disappears through another door,

and then people are always peering around corners

and almostseeing what they intended to see.

Especially that scene where the priest

is dragging the unconscious Mina down the hall

and hiding her in the bathroom with the nekkid grandpa

who has dementia...

followed by the shotgun-toting landlady going Rambo

and shooting off his ear and chasing him down the stairs

before he dispatches her

with an unlikely over-the-bannister tumble.

The actress who plays the mother-in-law is Terele Pávez,

also from the Basque region.

Had a hundred character roles in TV and film

going back to 1954.

She just passed away in 2017.

And that's Nathalie Seseña as Mina.

She had just been acting for four years

at the time of this movie, but the brief role

really helped her career just as it helped

every other actor in the movie.

It helped Santiago Segura more than anyone else, though.

The guy who plays Jose Maria is actually a filmmaker himself.

He's one of those guys who started making films

with a Super 8 camera when he was 12 years old,

and then when he was still a very young man,

he appeared as a contestant on several quiz shows,

and he used his prize money

to start making 35-millimeter short films

that appeared in festivals all over the world.

And this role made him famous in Spain,

and, in fact, it cemented a friendship

with Alex de la Iglesia that persists to this day.

He's been in every film de la Iglesia has made.

He's also a close friend of Guillermo del Toro,

and he appears in many of hisfilms.

But the film that really made Segura a giant celebrity

in Spain was "Torrente" in 1998.

It's a film he directed

and acted in as the lead character,

a sleazy cop fighting against the mob.

And it was so popular that it led to four sequels,

including one with Alec Baldwin as a guest star.

And in the meantime, he's a voice specialist.

He's one of the most in-demand dubbing actors in Spain.

At various times, he's been the voice of Nathan Lane,

Will Ferrell, Seth MacFarlane, John Goodman.

A very versatile, popular performer

who sometimes hosts the Goya Awards in Madrid.

But his introduction to the public was primarily through

this Sancho Panza character in "Day of the Beast."

All right.

It's interesting that they use LSD as the substitute drug.

You know?

Europe is always about 20 years late on stuff, you know?

It's 1995, they're still dropping LSD

and playing metal records backwards

to find satanic messages.

Continental Europe -- Spain, Italy, France, Germany --

they all pride themselves on being

this progressive part of the world,

especially on stuff like --

Big topics. Climate change, you know?

But in pop culture, youth culture,

alternative culture, not so much.

Stodgy old Great Britain is where you find the punkers

and the fashion drugs

and the in-your-face society dropouts.

You know? The UK is bipolar, though.

On the one hand, they wanna keep traditions alive

that are a thousand years old, and on the other hand,

they're the first people in Europe to say, "Bollocks!"

I'm never quite sure what they mean when they say "bollocks."

'Cause it means "balls," right? It means testicles. You know?

But when they say it,

I would imagine they're saying something like,

"Get your royal blueblood snobbery out of my face

and listen to this goth death chant

that I wrote this morning." You know?

They're so polite all day,

and then, at night, they just wanna rip everything apart.

[Laughter]

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[Static crackles]

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[Muffled scream]

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[Laughing]

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[Ominous chord strikes]

[Snarling]

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♪♪

[Thud]

-[Laughing]

-No, no, no!

No, no, no...

[Sirens wailing]

[Siren wailing]

[Electricity crackles, screaming]

-There's nothing like three losers

who have just witnessed Satan in the form of

a black long-horned goat walking upright,

hanging off the giant Schweppes sign on the side of

the Capitol Building while hopped up on LSD while police

are swarming the streets below

to increase the Antichrist stakes.

You know, I'm gonna revise my views a little bit here.

Yes, the priest is Don Quixote, but the actor who plays him,

Alex Angulo, is Buster Keaton.

He's got the physical agility, he's got the deadpan delivery,

and he's got the set pieces where he constantly barely

escapes disaster.

Buster Keaton as the protagonist of a horror flick --

yes, that's what we have here.

We've also got that graphic-novel feel.

The characters are all a little larger than life,

especially in those scenes where Cavan,

who is now converted into a devil hunter,

goes to the TV station, sabotages his own show,

and takes over the studio.

It's all building to a climax that is, of course,

completely unpredictable because this is, after all,

an Alex de la Iglesia satire so we he's incapable of playing

it totally straight, pretty satisfying nonetheless.

So let's get back to the flick.

Roll it.

Did you know there have been over a hundred different

versions of the Antichrist in film, TV, novels, etcetera?

C.S. Lewis made him a talking ape.

Michael York was the Antichrist in "The Omega Code."

"The Omen" is about the Antichrist

actually being born that character was Damien Thorn,

great name.

There have been several books and films suggesting that

Adolf Hitler was the Antichrist.

There have even been a few female Antichrists --

Christina in the series "Point Pleasant,"

Lucy in the movie "Daughter of the Devil."

Pat Robertson wrote a book

where the President turns out to be the Antichrist.

There's a Swedish band called Ghost

that did a whole song cycle, two albums,

about the birth of the Antichrist

and his life on Earth.

There are lots of others.

The great thing about the Antichrist as a character is

that the scriptures describing him or her are so dense and hard

to understand that you can just go,

"Well, here's what it means."

Which is kind of what preachers do anyway.

So flexible rules always great for fiction.

I really like the spooky goat take on it, though.

That's the turning point and the set up

for the apocalyptic ending.

♪♪

[Siren wailing]

[Gunshots, screaming]

["Jingle Bells" playing]

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Over the hills we go laughing all the way ♪

♪ Bells on bobtails ring making our spirits bright ♪

♪ What fun it is to ride and sing ♪

♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh ♪

♪♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪

[Gunshots, screaming]

[Car doors close]

-[Grunting]

[Screaming]

[Heavy metal music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Beeping]

I wonder if Alex de la Iglesia could go back to church

after this film came out?

Didn't he just kill all three Wise Men?

In the Happy Mall?

And use a burning homeless man

as nothing more than a plot device?

I never quite buy it, in any movie,

when they do the scene where the guy takes over

a live TV program and starts spouting his personal agenda.

Don't they do that in "Network"?

I mean, it's too easy just to turn off the guy's microphone,

nobody is gonna let that happen in real life,

but on the other hand,

we did have that news anchor who killed himself on TV,

so I guess it's possible, right?

The Clean Up Madrid Gang,

that's what it says when they graffiti the building,

is a version of the roving bands of neo-Nazi punks

who are actually still there in Europe,

not just in Spain but all over the continent.

We think we've got a problem

when 40 or 50 of these guys show up at a rally

and get shouted down?

In Europe they have weapons and crowd support!

So this movie makes me wanna go to a rave club in Madrid

and mosh with skinheads or maybe not.

Let's go back to the movie because we're almost there.

We're almost at the truly weird and over the rainbow ending

of "Day of the Beast."

Roll it.

When I was in college over there

we used to go to Spain all the time.

First because it was cheap,

second, because they had bullfights,

third, because they did not hate Americans,

and fourth, because the girls would

talk to you even if they didn't speak English

and we didn't speak Spanish.

So if you're sizing each other up,

and you can't really communicate except by hand signals

and eye contact,

there aren't that many options as to what to do next

if you know what I mean and I think you do.

We used to have this movie on my old show on The Movie Channel

called "Wild in Ibiza."

It was a party movie set on the vacation island of Ibiza

right off the coast of Spain.

And every time we would show it, somebody would say,

"Spain is a Catholic country, they can't be that hedonistic."

Oh, yeah, they can.

[Laughter]

♪♪

♪♪

[Tires screech]

♪♪

[Car door closes]

♪♪

♪♪

[Alarm blaring]

[Horn honks]

[Car doors close]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Baby crying]

[Gunshots]

♪♪

♪♪

[Gunshot, pipe thuds]

-[Grunting]

-[Growling]

♪♪

-No, no, no!

No, no!

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

-[Screaming]

[Goat bleats, gunshots]

-[Screaming]

[Gunshots]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Singing in Spanish]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

That final shot of the priest and Cavan as homeless buddies

walking through the park with the world unaware of

what they've done -- the crane kind of moves over to the left

and you see a statue on top of a fountain,

and that statue is famous in Madrid

as being the only public monument to Satan in the world.

Of course that's not the way the church

and the city look at it.

It's called "Fallen Angel" and it's a sculpture of

the defeated Lucifer,

writhing in pain after being hurled from heaven

the sculptor Ricardo Bellver made it in 1877 after being

inspired by "Paradise Lost."

And it does sit in the largest park in Madrid because it was so

admired and received so many prizes that the city decided to

establish a permanent place for it.

Also, the climactic scene with the two towers

that look like they're about to topple over,

that place would be familiar to everyone in Madrid.

That's the Plaza Castilla and those are the first inclined

skyscrapers in the world, tilted at 15 degrees on purpose.

They're called the Gate of Europe Towers.

And in between them, that long thin protruding phallus

that's the Caja Madrid Obelisk,

which was designed by the controversial

architect Santiago Calatrava,

famous for designing stuff that the public hates in cities

all over the world.

So anyway, the Gates of Europe Towers aren't the most popular

edifices ever built in Madrid, and it would be highly amusing

to the Spanish public to see that the Plaza Castilla

is the place chosen by Satan to birth the Antichrist.

The budget for the movie was about $2.5 million

and it was a huge hit, both commercially and at festivals,

and it's a crowd pleaser at specialty theaters

even up to this day.

All right, Darcy, come on over, oh, Darcy! You look familiar.

That's -- oh, you recycled -- oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

You recycled the Hack-O-Lantern mask.

Well, it's appropriate because you have the goat horns.

-Exactly. -Okay, I'll let it pass.

-Whoo!

-Any thoughts on "Day of the Beast"?

-Yeah, like, I didn't want to watch it because of all

the subtitles, which, there are a lot of subtitles.

-Yeah. -But it was really worth it.

Like, it was like nonstop action and I feel like it kind of

invented its own subgenre if that makes sense.

-It is its own genre.

You know, as you know, I love me some Catholic horror,

beginning with "The Exorcist," and this takes

Catholic horror in new direction.

Something tells me it's Silver Bolo Time.

-It is, indeed.

This week's Silver Bolo goes to "Bloodbath and Beyond."

-Which is -- they're in Niagara Falls?

I recognize their name, yeah.

-Jay Bond and John Lyle. They review horror on YouTube.

-And they've been around for a while.

-Since 2013.

They love the genre

and they promote a lot of horror indie flicks.

-Anything they do that other horrorcasters don't do?

-They do all the subgenres but they have a section called

"Extreme Underground" and that's where they cover the most

controversial and disturbing movies.

So they go to the dark side, which I totally endorse.

-And I do, too.

-They know their stuff. Very professional.

Points off, though, for not liking "Serial Mom" enough.

-All right, well, Yuki, come on over.

I know they reviewed "Cannibal Holocaust."

-Yeah, it has, like, 1.9 million views.

-Wow. Because they're known for going low, right?

-I think it's because people really love to talk about

"Cannibal Holocaust."

We kind of got the same reaction.

-Okay, Yuki, please take this genuine silver bolo,

ensure that the silver is perfect,

and see that it gets to Jay Bond and John Lyle

in the haunted house capital of the world,

Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.

-Yes. -Thank you.

-And I guess that's it. One more week, Darcy.

-I'm already getting a little sad about that.

-Well, don't be sad yet because our final guest of the season

is a superstar.

-You've been waiting for him for a long time.

-I've known him for a long time,

been trying to get him on the show.

It's gonna be great. But we're done tonight.

That's it for Darcy the Mail Girl and me,

Joe Bob Briggs.

I'm reminding you that sometimes you get

and sometimes you get got.

But the drive-in will never die.

And in keeping with our spiritual themes tonight,

I thought I would tell a Zen Buddhist joke.

-Go for it.

-Zen Master goes up to a hot dog cart and he says,

"Make me one with everything."

[Laughter]

-Short and sweet, cool.

-But this is actually two jokes in one.

Okay, that was the first joke.

Hot dog vendor fixes up a hot dog and hands it

to the Zen Master, Zen Master pays with a $20 bill.

Hot dog vendor puts the $20 bill in his pocket.

Zen Master says, "Where's my change?"

Hot dog vendor says, "Change must come from within."

[Laughter]

-♪ We are drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ Drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ We are not like other people ♪

-♪ Other people ♪

-♪ We are sick ♪ -♪ Sick ♪

-♪ We are disgusting ♪ -♪ Disgusting ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ If life had a vomit meter ♪

-♪ Vomit meter ♪

-♪ We'd be off the scale ♪

-♪ Off the scale ♪

-♪ As long as one drive-in remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party like jungle animals ♪

♪♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪