All language subtitles for W09E02 Day of the Beast_track3_[eng]

[Static crackles]

-I'm Joe Bob Briggs,
on the next-to-the-last week

of the season.

What do they call that?

On the penultimate.

This is the penultimate show
of the season.

And it's Devil Appreciation
Night.

We're dealing with all kinds
of demonic themes

throughout the evening.

We're trying to get a little
Satanism into our diet

before time runs out on us.

Darcy, can you believe it?

-Believe what?

-We're leaving next week!

-Yeah.
I mean, that's not a secret.

-"Day of the Beast"!
In the beastly season.

I feel like we're getting back
to old-school horror

right before we go back out
into the dangerous world.

-Not with subtitles, we're not.

-[Laughter]
-Yeah, your right.

We're gonna get flak
for "El Día de la Bestia"

because if you took a poll
of our hard-core fans

on what they think
about subtitles,

half of them would say,
"Joe Bob, you're killing me.

Stop with that stuff."
And the other half would say,

"Why don't they just dub
the movie into English?"

Which is a good question. They
used to do that all the time.

30 years ago, any horror movie
from a foreign country

would be automatically dubbed
into English.

Why don't they do that anymore?
It's now considered --

It's considered "low-class"
to do that.

Darcy the Mail Girl is here

to keep up
the social-media connection

the rest of this evening.

Just send her your tweets,
your e-mails, your Instas,

any other communications --
mostly Twitter.

We tend to live on Twitter
during the actual movie.

But we want hear from you

no matter how you choose
to interact.

Anyhow, the reason I like this
story is that it's about a guy

who comes from a poor part
of the country.

He thinks the world
is about to be destroyed.

And so he goes to the capital
and sacrifices himself

for the benefit
of everybody else.

And I like him 'cause he has
a nerdy, annoying personality,

so nobody believes
he could really be the guy

who's gonna save the world.

So, the story takes place
in Spain in 1995,

when that country
had bad unemployment

and a lot of social unrest.

But it reminded me of what this
country is going through now

but actually went through
several times before.

Did you know that, in 1933,
when the country was really sick

and nobody knew
what to do about it,

people got in their cars,
just drove to Washington,

and presented themselves at
the White House or the Capitol

or the Works Progress
Administration,

and they just said,
"What can I do to help?"

Lawyers did it.
Railroad executives did it.

Sometimes bankers
would take a leave of absence

or even quit their jobs
altogether

to go help the Federal Reserve
as it tried to keep banks afloat

and stave off runs
during the Depression.

Farmers got together
at the local markets

and they would elect a person
to go help out,

and then they passed a hat
to collect enough money

to pay the man's train fare
to Washington.

Chambers of commerce
sent men to Washington.

The Masons sent men
to Washington.

There were professors
who didn't represent

any company or organization
at all,

but they had
specialized knowledge

that could be put to use.

They went to Washington.

Writers, the most anti-social
species ever to walk the earth,

went to Washington

and voluntarily worked
for the government.

They produced these state
travel guides that are --

Some of them are still
worth reading today.

And when all these people
got to Washington,

President Roosevelt
held the door open for them.

And they were put to work.
Committees were formed.

Conference rooms
in government buildings

were converted into offices.

I got this John Dos Passos
quote, the novelist.

He watched the whole thing
in amazement, and he said that,

"Some worked on folding chairs
and card tables in corridors.

And when the offices closed,
they hurriedly ate

and went home and sat smoking
in their shirt sleeves

in hotel rooms, still checking
programs, industrial pricelists,

fair-trade practices,
standards of wages,

and working conditions,

poring red-eyed over dog-eared
acts of Congress

in the dense tiny print of the
Government Printing Office."

And slowly, by stages,

the country
started to work, too.

It sounds crazy, but these guys
just went to Washington

and created jobs by simply
willing the job to exist.

And the joy in their work
was contagious.

'Cause these men
worked 12 hours a day

breaking rocks in state parks

to be used to build
hiking trails.

And they were grateful
for the chance.

And a lot of them
destroyed their spines

digging drainage ditches
in places

that still had dirt roads.

And most of them
still praised Roosevelt

for creating the job
in the first place.

And there was never
any extra money.

There was no stimulus check.

There were no
unemployment benefits.

There was no Social Security.

There was no Medicare.
There was no Medicaid.

And things didn't get better
for a long, long time.

Foreign trade
didn't get any better.

Stock market
was still not recovering.

And most people had nothing.

And all Roosevelt could do
was say,

"Come help out.
We'll get through it."

And people did. They helped out.

They put their own interests
aside for a few years,

and they put the country first.

And most of them
weren't even paid.

Isn't that quaint?

But, you know, that was people

born more than
a hundred years ago,

so they were much less
sophisticated than we are.

So, right now we're gonna watch
"The Day of the Beast,"

the breakout movie
of Alex de la Iglesia,

the man considered responsible
for bringing horror

back to Spain in 1995
with this movie.

It won six Goya Awards,

which is Spain's version
of the Oscars,

and it was
a huge box-office hit.

The style of it is not quite
like any other horror movie

you'll ever see,
and people sometimes

have trouble figuring it out
until well into the second half,

so I'm not gonna do
any spoilers.

I'm just gonna encourage you
to settle in

and let it carry you away.

It's the story
of a priest at a university

who discovers
the exact date and exact city

where the Antichrist
is gonna show up,

and so,
in order to save mankind,

he has to go there and commit
as many sins as possible

so that he'll be recruited
into the world of Satanism

so that he can either
stop the birth

or kill the spawn of Beelzebub.

It's like
a "Mission: Impossible" episode,

a spy thriller about a secret
agent going deep undercover,

only he's going deep undercover
into hell.

Let's look
at those drive-in totals

and get this death-metal rave
started.

We have 16 dead bodies,
1 dead rabbit,

1 horned goat,
1 whangdoodle,

1 street brawl,
1 home invasion,

1 gun battle, 1 hanging,

1 skyscraper death plunge,

1 motor vehicle chase,

1 makeshift Satanic rite

with flaming pentagram
and death-metal mixtape,

1 Nazi street gang,
cross crushing,

cane clubbing,
elbow to the face,

random grave desecration,
amputee abuse,

multiple face clubbing,
paint-job destruction,

mime abuse, homeless theft,

tramp burning, luggage stealing,

shoplifter pummeling,
girlfriend chasing,

book stealing, foot abuse,

gratuitous Nostradamus lecture,

tarot fu, cigarette fu,

gong fu, cryptography fu,

LSD fu, shotgun fu,
electrocution Fu.

Drive-In Academy Award
nominations for...

Alex Angulo as the goofy priest
on a mission

for saying,
"I must learn to do evil."

Terele Pávez as the old lady

who wants to blow the balls
off burglars.

Santiago Segura
as the record-shop metalhead

who decides to be muscle
for the priest.

Armando de Razza as
the phony TV-host fortune-teller

in black leather

who gets converted
to his own fake beliefs.

And Alex de la Iglesia,
the writer-director,

for inventing
a new style of horror.

Three stars.
Joe Bob says check it out.

You know, when I was in college,
they had laws in Spain

that if you made fun
of the Catholic Church,

they could basically
disembowel you

and feed you to wild pigs,
you know?

The fact that this movie
can be made at all is evidence

that it doesn't matter
which dictators try to suppress

which media, sooner or later,

the subversive horror film
will prevail.

The censor always loses.

But, more important,

the censor always ends up
looking silly.

There's no defense
against comedy.

Are you listening,

all you self-serious angry dudes
on the Internet?

Comedy is the answer, people!

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

[Bell tolling]

[Crow cawing]

[Bell tolling stops]

[Door opens and closes]

[Bell tolling]

[Whispering indistinctly]

[Bell tolling stops]

[Thud]

♪♪

♪♪

[Air brakes hiss]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Street band playing]

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

[Stammering]

Hey!

[Siren wailing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-[Gasping faintly]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Radio chatter]

♪♪

♪♪

[Click]

♪♪

♪♪

[Coins rattle]

♪♪

♪♪

-Aah! Aah!

[Clattering]

♪♪

♪♪

[Indistinct conversations]

♪♪

♪♪

[Siren wailing]

♪♪

[Tires screech]

♪♪

[Indistinct shouting]

♪♪

♪♪

[Woman speaking Spanish
on television]

♪♪

♪♪

[Siren wailing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Bell jingles]

-[Grunts]

-Yeah.

[Bell jingles]

[Death-metal music plays]

[Record needle scratches]

[Music playing in reverse]

[Click]

[Death-metal music plays]

♪♪

[Indistinct conversations]

♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

[Door opens]

[Ominous music plays]

♪♪

[Toilet flushes in distance]

♪♪

[Coughing]

♪♪

[Sizzling]

♪♪

[Festive music playing]

♪♪

[Ominous music plays]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Yeah.

♪♪

[Tires screech]

♪♪

[Keys jingling]

♪♪

[Scraping]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-And, so, the strangest priest
in the history of Catholicism --

is he crazy
or is he inspired? --

starts us down the path
toward encountering The Beast.

He keeps referring
to the Apocalypse of John,

which is the book of the Bible
that most churches

just call Revelation.

And what's that full of?

Beasts and prophecies.

Whenever you have soothsayers
getting involved with the Bible,

that's the book they go to.

And it turns out our priest
is a cryptographer

who asks people whether
they're familiar with Tritheism.

All right. What does that mean?

He's talking about this guy
named Johannes Trithemius

who was a Benedictine monk
in the 15th century

and he wrote all these books
where he supposedly discovered

secret meanings in the Bible.

He was considered a heretic,

and all his books were on the
Catholic Church banned list

until 1990 when he was liberated
from the banned list

when it was shown that

he was not advocating
magic and sorcery;

he was just counting
words and letters

and things like that
to come up with theories

about hidden messages that God
was supposedly sending us --

in Latin, of course.

In other words,
the Vatican decided

he was stupid but harmless,

so they took him off
the banned list.

Anyway, Johannes Trithemius
is considered

the founder of modern occultism,

meaning everything involving
ESP, magic, alchemy --

all the stuff that the smooth
dude on TV is talking about.

So, the priest is played
by an actor named Alex Angulo,

who would later have a role
in the Oscar-winning

"Pan's Labyrinth"
as Doctor Ferreiro.

He was from the troubled Basque
Country of Northeastern Spain,

which is also
where the director,

Alex de la Iglesia, is from.

He was a schoolteacher there,

and then he got into acting

with Karraka,
the Bilbao-based theater troupe.

He's best remembered in Spain
for a TV comedy series

called "Periodistas"

about the people working
at a Madrid newspaper.

But this was the movie
that made his career take off.

It's known as a sort of everyman
"normal guy" comedian.

He often worked
with a Groucho Marx mustache.

Sadly, died in a car accident
at the age of 61.

He was 42
when this movie came out.

All right. At this point,
he has been out there

sinning as much
as he's capable of --

pushing mimes off ledges,

telling dying men
they're going to rot in hell,

and trying to find a metal band
that puts out satanic messages

when their records
are played backwards.

And those cigarette burns
on the soles of his feet --

that's a new one for me.

I think he's doing
fake stigmata?

Or maybe it's a sin to mutilate
your skin? I don't know.

Anyway, he's assuming that
if he finds enough ways to sin,

the devil will find him
and confide in him

about the details
of the Antichrist.

But it seems to me
he started too late.

'Cause everything goes down on
Christmas Eve, which is tonight.

So let's roll the film.

I should know
exactly what happens

when the Antichrist shows up,

but I'm a little rusty
on my Revelations scholarship.

I haven't read that stuff
lately.

But I think it could be
interpreted as a good thing,

because the Antichrist
substitutes himself in power,

and then you have seven years

of famine and plague
and destruction,

and then Christ comes back
and fixes everything, right?

I mean, the Second Coming,
that's a good thing, right?

Except that part
about being raptured up.

I don't like that part.
I don't like the idea

of being jerked out of your Uber
car and air-mailed up to heaven

in the middle of the afternoon.

You know, if Jesus comes back,
I would prefer

he just stick me
in a condo somewhere.

I don't need the whole
jet-pack thing.

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Death-metal music plays]

♪♪

♪♪

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause
on television]

-[Sobbing]

-[Screaming]

-[Gasping]

[Cheers and applause]

[Thunder rumbling]

♪♪

[Thunder rumbling]

["Silent Night" playing
in Spanish]

♪♪

[Ominous music plays]

[Engine starts]

[Brakes squeal]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Classical music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Television playing faintly]

♪♪

[Voicemail beeps]

[Doorbell rings]

[Ominous chord strikes]

♪♪

♪♪

[Static crackles]

-See, I think when
you're trying to prevent

the birth of the Antichrist,
no measure is too extreme,

so stalking a fake TV healer

and knocking him out
with a gong mallet --

completely reasonable
if it gets you closer to Satan.

Alex de la Iglesia,
the writer-director,

actually attended
a Jesuit university,

actually the oldest
private university in Spain --

Deusto University in Bilbao,
the capital of Basque Country.

And so he probably knew

a few eccentric Jesuits
like this priest.

De la Iglesia --

and his name means
"of the church," by the way --

started out drawing comic books
when he was 10 years old,

but he always wanted
to make films,

and by the time he was
in his mid-twenties,

he was winning awards
for his short films,

and then he made a sci-fi comedy
called "Mutant Action"

that won a lot
of festival awards,

but this was his first
major film,

and this was the film
that really launched his career.

In fact,
this film became so famous

that he was asked to direct

a Rosie Perez,
Javier Bardem film

in English called
"Perdita Durango."

In the United States,
they released it as

"Dance with the Devil."

It was sort of like
a comedy version

of "Natural Born Killers"

about a couple of
crazed sexy occultists

on a crime spree.

And then he's made quite
a few flicks since then,

and he's been honored
at many festivals,

but this is still the movie
everybody talks about.

He has a flick
called "Dying of Laughter."

It's about a two-man comedy team
that reunites

after being apart for a while,
and they just loathe each other,

but they have to
do comedy together.

He has an interesting
heist flick

called "Witching & Bitching."

He made an updated spaghetti
western called "800 Bullets."

He did a satirical movie
about the media

with Salma Hayek called
"As Luck Would Have It."

The most conventional movie
he ever made

is "The Oxford Murders" with
Elijah Wood and John Hurt.

But most people, when they think
of de la Iglesia,

they think of
"Day of the Beast."

He's a satirist.

If he gets very far from satire,
he's uneasy.

You know,
he has the irresistible urge

to point out how messed up
everything is.

And I sympathize with that.

Okay. Back to the movie.

See, the problem the satirist
has in this day and age

is that it's your job
to point out

how the conventional wisdom
is wrong.

But when the conventional wisdom

is defended
by millions of people online

who are emotional about it,

they'll go out of their way
to bury you.

They'll say you have
malicious intent, you know?

They'll say,
"Well, I think satire's great,

but you can't go over the line.

You can't go too far."

When it's kind of your job
to go over the line and too far.

So, de la Iglesia has a script

that he sends around
to producers,

and they all want
to seethe movie

but none of them
want to makethe movie.

Because it's such
a politically incorrect idea --

It's so politically incorrect

that we will not be talking
about it on this show

because I just
don't go there anymore.

It's one of those topics
that I self-censor.

And if I'mself-censoring,
you know things are bad.

Someday, you know --
Somebody will make that script

80 years from now
when we're all dead,

and people will say, "You know
there was this dark time

in Western history
when you couldn't even
do topics like this?"

And everybody
will nod approvingly

because they'll be
much more enlightened people.

They'll be defending
brand-new prejudices

that haven't been
invented yet, right?

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

♪♪

[Siren wailing]

[Death-metal music playing]

[Bell tolling]

♪♪

-[Laughs]

[Laughing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-[Grunting]

[Beeping]

-[Sighs]

[Gong crashes]

[Vase shatters]

[Doorbell ringing frantically]

♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Screams]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Up-tempo music playing
on stereo]

[Siren wailing]

[Thunder crashes]

[Static crackles]

-The girlfriend who gets chased
down the stairs and knocked out

is Maria Grazia Cucinotta,

a famous Italian model --
Sicilian, actually --

who had just come off
a big award-winning

international movie
called "Il Postino."

She was Beatrice Russo,

the local beauty
being wooed by the postman.

She would go on
to become a Bond Girl

in "The World is Not Enough,"
one of those really good

Pierce Brosnan
James Bond movies,

and she's continued to act
right up until the present day,

mostly in Italy.

Her boyfriend in the movie is
also Italian, Armando de Razza,

although I think both of them
are playing Spaniards

for the purposes of this film.

I think the reason the priest
interrogates the talk-show host

about, "How do you possibly
know whether Susana

is a virgin or not?"

is to show just how unworldly
the priest is, you know?

He's never even
watched a TV show

until he watches Cavan doing
the exorcism on the little boy

in an obviously fake setup.

So the priest has been in his
cloister for years and years,

virtually his whole life,

and it's his innocence
of the ways of the world

that makes him do things
no one else would do

and trust that doing something
like searching for virgin blood

will turn out okay simply
because God is on his side.

In fact, now that I think about
it, the two main actors --

the priest and the death-metal
record-shop dude --

are like the
two most famous characters

in Spanish literature,
Don Quixote and Sancho Panza.

Right? Don Quixote is probably
crazy, but in a good way.

And Sancho Panza
is intensely loyal to him.

And together they go
on a quest, right?

I don't know where
this apartment building is

where they got Cavan tied up,
but I think I wanna live there.

I haven't been to Madrid
since I was a student,

but I actually stayed
in a pension

very much like the one owned

by the bigoted old lady
in the movie.

You gave her the cash
every morning at breakfast

to stay the next day, and
then she'd be nice to you.

And if you told her
you were there

to search for the Antichrist,
she would have helped you,

as long as you gave her
that cash at breakfast.

Anyway, back to the movie.

There was a guy named
Solovyov, a Russian,

who wrote a book called "A Short
Tale of the Antichrist,"

and he thought the Antichrist
would appear as a lawyer.

You know?

He would be an internationalist
and a humanist

and an ecologist and a pacifist,

and he would bring all the
religions of the world together

and tell them all
that they were good

and that they were the same,

and he would talk them
into eventually abandoning

their beliefs in order
to be popular and together.

This actually sounds
like a better strategy to me

than the whole
"war, pestilence, famine" thing.

You know, four horsemen
of Notre Dame

or whatever that thing is.

I gotta think the devil is
pretty good at psyching us out.

You know,
it'd be like him to just say,

"Let's join hands and act

like our various gods
are stupid."

And pretty soon nobody
believes anything, and he wins.

Anyway, I don't know
about all that,

but I ampretty sure
that Satan is a lawyer.

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

[Bell ringing]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

-[Giggling]

Aah!

-[Thunder crashes]
-[Shrieks]

[Liquid splashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Buzzing]

[Thunder crashes]

[Buzzing]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Door closes]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

[Gun cocks]

-[Whimpering]

♪♪

♪♪

[Gunshot]

[Gun cocks]

[Gunshot]

-[Screaming]

[Screaming]

[Thunder crashes]

♪♪

♪♪

-[Screaming]

♪♪

[Sirens approaching]

♪♪

♪♪

[Electricity buzzing]

[Door opens and closes]

♪♪

-[Grunting]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Woman shrieks]

♪♪

-Susana! Susana!

♪♪

♪♪

[Thud]

[Static crackles]

-All of these physical
slapstick scenes are brilliant.

They remind me
of theatrical farces

where people
are constantly opening doors

and pursuing one another, and
as soon as one door is opened,

the person they're looking for
disappears through another door,

and then people are always
peering around corners

and almostseeing
what they intended to see.

Especially that scene
where the priest

is dragging the unconscious Mina
down the hall

and hiding her in the bathroom
with the nekkid grandpa

who has dementia...

followed by the shotgun-toting
landlady going Rambo

and shooting off his ear
and chasing him down the stairs

before he dispatches her

with an unlikely
over-the-bannister tumble.

The actress who plays the
mother-in-law is Terele Pávez,

also from the Basque region.

Had a hundred character roles
in TV and film

going back to 1954.

She just passed away in 2017.

And that's Nathalie Seseña
as Mina.

She had just been acting
for four years

at the time of this movie,
but the brief role

really helped her career
just as it helped

every other actor in the movie.

It helped Santiago Segura
more than anyone else, though.

The guy who plays Jose Maria
is actually a filmmaker himself.

He's one of those guys
who started making films

with a Super 8 camera
when he was 12 years old,

and then when he was still
a very young man,

he appeared as a contestant
on several quiz shows,

and he used his prize money

to start making
35-millimeter short films

that appeared in festivals
all over the world.

And this role
made him famous in Spain,

and, in fact,
it cemented a friendship

with Alex de la Iglesia
that persists to this day.

He's been in every film
de la Iglesia has made.

He's also a close friend
of Guillermo del Toro,

and he appears
in many of hisfilms.

But the film that really made
Segura a giant celebrity

in Spain was "Torrente" in 1998.

It's a film he directed

and acted in
as the lead character,

a sleazy cop
fighting against the mob.

And it was so popular
that it led to four sequels,

including one with Alec Baldwin
as a guest star.

And in the meantime,
he's a voice specialist.

He's one of the most in-demand
dubbing actors in Spain.

At various times, he's been
the voice of Nathan Lane,

Will Ferrell, Seth MacFarlane,
John Goodman.

A very versatile,
popular performer

who sometimes hosts
the Goya Awards in Madrid.

But his introduction to
the public was primarily through

this Sancho Panza character
in "Day of the Beast."

All right.

It's interesting that they use
LSD as the substitute drug.

You know?

Europe is always about 20 years
late on stuff, you know?

It's 1995, they're
still dropping LSD

and playing metal records
backwards

to find satanic messages.

Continental Europe --
Spain, Italy, France, Germany --

they all pride themselves
on being

this progressive part
of the world,

especially on stuff like --

Big topics.
Climate change, you know?

But in pop culture,
youth culture,

alternative culture,
not so much.

Stodgy old Great Britain
is where you find the punkers

and the fashion drugs

and the in-your-face
society dropouts.

You know?
The UK is bipolar, though.

On the one hand, they wanna
keep traditions alive

that are a thousand years old,
and on the other hand,

they're the first people
in Europe to say, "Bollocks!"

I'm never quite sure what they
mean when they say "bollocks."

'Cause it means "balls," right?
It means testicles. You know?

But when they say it,

I would imagine they're saying
something like,

"Get your royal blueblood
snobbery out of my face

and listen
to this goth death chant

that I wrote this morning."
You know?

They're so polite all day,

and then, at night, they just
wanna rip everything apart.

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Static crackles]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Muffled scream]

♪♪

[Laughing]

♪♪

[Ominous chord strikes]

[Snarling]

♪♪

♪♪

[Thud]

-[Laughing]

-No, no, no!

No, no, no...

[Sirens wailing]

[Siren wailing]

[Electricity crackles,
screaming]

-There's nothing like
three losers

who have just witnessed
Satan in the form of

a black long-horned goat
walking upright,

hanging off the giant Schweppes
sign on the side of

the Capitol Building while
hopped up on LSD while police

are swarming the streets below

to increase the Antichrist
stakes.

You know, I'm gonna revise
my views a little bit here.

Yes, the priest is Don Quixote,
but the actor who plays him,

Alex Angulo, is Buster Keaton.

He's got the physical agility,
he's got the deadpan delivery,

and he's got the set pieces
where he constantly barely

escapes disaster.

Buster Keaton as the protagonist
of a horror flick --

yes, that's what we have here.

We've also got that
graphic-novel feel.

The characters are all a little
larger than life,

especially in
those scenes where Cavan,

who is now converted
into a devil hunter,

goes to the TV station,
sabotages his own show,

and takes over the studio.

It's all building to a climax
that is, of course,

completely unpredictable
because this is, after all,

an Alex de la Iglesia satire
so we he's incapable of playing

it totally straight,
pretty satisfying nonetheless.

So let's get back to the flick.

Roll it.

Did you know there have been
over a hundred different

versions of the Antichrist in
film, TV, novels, etcetera?

C.S. Lewis made him
a talking ape.

Michael York was the Antichrist
in "The Omega Code."

"The Omen" is about
the Antichrist

actually being born that
character was Damien Thorn,

great name.

There have been several books
and films suggesting that

Adolf Hitler
was the Antichrist.

There have even been a few
female Antichrists --

Christina in the series
"Point Pleasant,"

Lucy in the movie
"Daughter of the Devil."

Pat Robertson wrote a book

where the President turns out to
be the Antichrist.

There's a Swedish band
called Ghost

that did a whole song cycle,
two albums,

about the birth of
the Antichrist

and his life on Earth.

There are lots of others.

The great thing about
the Antichrist as a character is

that the scriptures describing
him or her are so dense and hard

to understand that you can
just go,

"Well, here's what it means."

Which is kind of
what preachers do anyway.

So flexible rules
always great for fiction.

I really like the spooky goat
take on it, though.

That's the turning point
and the set up

for the apocalyptic ending.

♪♪

[Siren wailing]

[Gunshots, screaming]

["Jingle Bells" playing]

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Dashing through the snow
in a one horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Over the hills we go
laughing all the way ♪

♪ Bells on bobtails ring
making our spirits bright ♪

♪ What fun it is to ride
and sing ♪

♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one horse open sleigh ♪

♪♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way ♪

[Gunshots, screaming]

[Car doors close]

-[Grunting]

[Screaming]

[Heavy metal music playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Beeping]

I wonder if Alex de la Iglesia
could go back to church

after this film came out?

Didn't he just kill
all three Wise Men?

In the Happy Mall?

And use a burning homeless man

as nothing more than
a plot device?

I never quite buy it,
in any movie,

when they do the scene
where the guy takes over

a live TV program and starts
spouting his personal agenda.

Don't they do that
in "Network"?

I mean, it's too easy just to
turn off the guy's microphone,

nobody is gonna let that happen
in real life,

but on the other hand,

we did have that news anchor
who killed himself on TV,

so I guess it's possible, right?

The Clean Up Madrid Gang,

that's what it says when they
graffiti the building,

is a version of the roving bands
of neo-Nazi punks

who are actually still there
in Europe,

not just in Spain
but all over the continent.

We think we've got a problem

when 40 or 50 of these guys
show up at a rally

and get shouted down?

In Europe they have weapons
and crowd support!

So this movie makes me wanna go
to a rave club in Madrid

and mosh with skinheads
or maybe not.

Let's go back to the movie
because we're almost there.

We're almost at the truly weird
and over the rainbow ending

of "Day of the Beast."

Roll it.

When I was in college over there

we used to go to Spain
all the time.

First because it was cheap,

second, because they had
bullfights,

third, because they did not
hate Americans,

and fourth,
because the girls would

talk to you even if
they didn't speak English

and we didn't speak Spanish.

So if you're sizing
each other up,

and you can't really communicate
except by hand signals

and eye contact,

there aren't that many options
as to what to do next

if you know what I mean
and I think you do.

We used to have this movie on my
old show on The Movie Channel

called "Wild in Ibiza."

It was a party movie set on
the vacation island of Ibiza

right off the coast of Spain.

And every time we would show it,
somebody would say,

"Spain is a Catholic country,
they can't be that hedonistic."

Oh, yeah, they can.

[Laughter]

♪♪

♪♪

[Tires screech]

♪♪

[Car door closes]

♪♪

♪♪

[Alarm blaring]

[Horn honks]

[Car doors close]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Baby crying]

[Gunshots]

♪♪

♪♪

[Gunshot, pipe thuds]

-[Grunting]

-[Growling]

♪♪

-No, no, no!

No, no!

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

-[Screaming]

[Goat bleats, gunshots]

-[Screaming]

[Gunshots]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Singing in Spanish]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

That final shot of the priest
and Cavan as homeless buddies

walking through the park
with the world unaware of

what they've done -- the crane
kind of moves over to the left

and you see a statue on top
of a fountain,

and that statue is
famous in Madrid

as being the only public
monument to Satan in the world.

Of course that's not the way
the church

and the city look at it.

It's called "Fallen Angel"
and it's a sculpture of

the defeated Lucifer,

writhing in pain after being
hurled from heaven

the sculptor Ricardo Bellver
made it in 1877 after being

inspired by "Paradise Lost."

And it does sit in the largest
park in Madrid because it was so

admired and received so many
prizes that the city decided to

establish a permanent place
for it.

Also, the climactic scene
with the two towers

that look like they're about to
topple over,

that place would be
familiar to everyone in Madrid.

That's the Plaza Castilla
and those are the first inclined

skyscrapers in the world,
tilted at 15 degrees on purpose.

They're called
the Gate of Europe Towers.

And in between them, that long
thin protruding phallus

that's the Caja Madrid Obelisk,

which was designed by
the controversial

architect Santiago Calatrava,

famous for designing stuff that
the public hates in cities

all over the world.

So anyway, the Gates of Europe
Towers aren't the most popular

edifices ever built in Madrid,
and it would be highly amusing

to the Spanish public to see
that the Plaza Castilla

is the place chosen by Satan
to birth the Antichrist.

The budget for the movie was
about $2.5 million

and it was a huge hit, both
commercially and at festivals,

and it's a crowd pleaser
at specialty theaters

even up to this day.

All right, Darcy, come on over,
oh, Darcy! You look familiar.

That's -- oh, you recycled --
oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

You recycled
the Hack-O-Lantern mask.

Well, it's appropriate because
you have the goat horns.

-Exactly.
-Okay, I'll let it pass.

-Whoo!

-Any thoughts on
"Day of the Beast"?

-Yeah, like, I didn't want to
watch it because of all

the subtitles, which,
there are a lot of subtitles.

-Yeah.
-But it was really worth it.

Like, it was like nonstop action
and I feel like it kind of

invented its own subgenre
if that makes sense.

-It is its own genre.

You know, as you know, I love me
some Catholic horror,

beginning with "The Exorcist,"
and this takes

Catholic horror
in new direction.

Something tells me
it's Silver Bolo Time.

-It is, indeed.

This week's Silver Bolo goes to
"Bloodbath and Beyond."

-Which is --
they're in Niagara Falls?

I recognize their name, yeah.

-Jay Bond and John Lyle.
They review horror on YouTube.

-And they've been around
for a while.

-Since 2013.

They love the genre

and they promote a lot of
horror indie flicks.

-Anything they do that other
horrorcasters don't do?

-They do all the subgenres
but they have a section called

"Extreme Underground" and that's
where they cover the most

controversial
and disturbing movies.

So they go to the dark side,
which I totally endorse.

-And I do, too.

-They know their stuff.
Very professional.

Points off, though, for not
liking "Serial Mom" enough.

-All right, well, Yuki,
come on over.

I know they reviewed
"Cannibal Holocaust."

-Yeah, it has, like,
1.9 million views.

-Wow. Because they're known
for going low, right?

-I think it's because people
really love to talk about

"Cannibal Holocaust."

We kind of got
the same reaction.

-Okay, Yuki, please take this
genuine silver bolo,

ensure that the silver
is perfect,

and see that it gets
to Jay Bond and John Lyle

in the haunted house capital
of the world,

Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.

-Yes.
-Thank you.

-And I guess that's it.
One more week, Darcy.

-I'm already getting a little
sad about that.

-Well, don't be sad yet because
our final guest of the season

is a superstar.

-You've been waiting for him
for a long time.

-I've known him for a long time,

been trying to get him
on the show.

It's gonna be great.
But we're done tonight.

That's it for Darcy
the Mail Girl and me,

Joe Bob Briggs.

I'm reminding you that
sometimes you get

and sometimes you get got.

But the drive-in
will never die.

And in keeping with our
spiritual themes tonight,

I thought I would tell a Zen
Buddhist joke.

-Go for it.

-Zen Master goes up to a hot dog
cart and he says,

"Make me one with everything."

[Laughter]

-Short and sweet, cool.

-But this is actually
two jokes in one.

Okay, that was the first joke.

Hot dog vendor fixes up
a hot dog and hands it

to the Zen Master,
Zen Master pays with a $20 bill.

Hot dog vendor puts the $20 bill
in his pocket.

Zen Master says,
"Where's my change?"

Hot dog vendor says, "Change
must come from within."

[Laughter]

-♪ We are drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ Drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ We are not like
other people ♪

-♪ Other people ♪

-♪ We are sick ♪
-♪ Sick ♪

-♪ We are disgusting ♪
-♪ Disgusting ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ If life had a vomit meter ♪

-♪ Vomit meter ♪

-♪ We'd be off the scale ♪

-♪ Off the scale ♪

-♪ As long as one drive-in
remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party
like jungle animals ♪

♪♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ Boogie till we puke ♪

-♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪