All language subtitles for Universal Basic Guys s02e12 Skyboys.eng

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Original subtitles

Yo, where the hell are the wet vacs?

Man, these are some great deals.

Nah nah, Hank. It's all a scam, okay.

They just mark up the prices and then

they take 30% off, so it feels like you're getting a deal.

Ooh, nice. Always wanted a drone.

That's a pretty low-end model, bud.

Eh. I'm trying to save more money.

Hank, you get free money.

Yeah but I use it for, like uh, food and bills and stuff.

What, are you implying that I

don't spend my money responsibly?

Uh... No?

Okay, well, I'll have you know,

I get very good deals on my purchases, okay.

I've work in sales. I know all the tricks, okay.

I'm a highly skilled negotiator.

Wait 'til you see the deal I get on this wet vac, okay.

Morning! Finding everything okay?

Uh yeah, you know where the uh, wet vacs are?

Jet Packs are right over there on aisle nine.

Nah nah nah, I'm looking for wet-va-

I'm sorry wait, Did you say uh, you got jet-packs?

Whoa...

? Well, I used to work in hot dog factory ?

? until them robots came along, ?

? and now there is no job for me, ?

? but I get three thousand bucks a month. ?

? Thanks to UBI. ?

? Now we're Universal Basic Guys. ?

? It may not sound like much, but we're still gonna try. ?

? We're just Universal Basic Guys. ?

I don't understand. Why would you buy this?

Uh, because it's awesome.

It's a friggin' jetpack?

He's got a point, mom.

You go inside.

Tammy, I bought this for us, okay.

This is gonna make our lives so much easier, okay.

These things are useful for... all kinds of stuff.

Sure, hun. You know, I thought we talked

about spending money responsibly.

Tammy, it would have been financially

irresponsible to not buy this jetpack, okay.

Two grand for something I dreamed about since I was a kid.

This is destiny, okay. This is God's will.

It's God's will for you to have a jetpack?

Yes.

[sigh] Did you at least get the wet vac?

Uh, no.

[knock, knock] See this, Tam?

What am I doing here? That's right.

Cleaning the gutters with my very practical jetpack.

Uh, ever heard of a ladder?

Tam, do you know how easy it is to get injured on a ladder?

Like, do you look at the stats- [crash]

What the hell was that?

Uh- a flying squirrel. No big deal, okay.

Would you stop spying on me?

Hey, Mark.

Yo! What's up, Hank? - Can I help?

Uh... This is a pretty specialized task.

Oh, I've been practicing. Watch this.

Not bad, eh?

Not bad at all. Look at us.

Sky Bros, yeah?

Sky Bros! Hell yeah.

Ah... [crash]

Dammit.

Dude, check it out.

There's like a whole world up in the canopy

that we would never have access to if we weren't the Sky Bros.

Huh. I had no idea that birds eat eggs.

- Is that a jetpack?

You know it, baby. You wanna join the Sky Bros?

Uh, no thank you,

I don't need a toy that destroys the environment.

There's no evidence for that.

I mean, have you considered doing

something more meaningful with your UBI?

Maybe help out in the community?

Uh... that's why I bought the jetpack.

- Oh, is that so? - Uh, yeah.

Sky Bros are doing a lot of good in the community, David.

- We are? - Uh, yes, Hank...

Okay well, we will. I was just gonna- I'm gonna-

talk to you about that later. - Oh, nice.

So uh, what are you doing to help

the community, Mr. uh... Judgy-bells?

I do a ton to help my community.

- Like what? - So much!

I don't even know where to begin.

Name one specific thing you've done.

God, you're relentless!

Fine! You want specifics?

How about... working at a soup kitchen?

Oh, yeah? You work at a soup kitchen?

Doing what?

S-soup ladling...

and cleaning.

Well, I'll tell you what I don't do.

I don't spend my money on frivolous

indulgent purchases. That's for sure.

- David Jinglebells? - Uh, that's me.

Here's your whole sashimi-grade Japanese Bluefin Tuna.

Ah. Thank you.

What?! It's for the soup kitchen.

- Oh, is it now? - Yes!

I'm serving them sushi.

We're doing omakase night!

Oh, that's really nice of you, David.

- Thank you. - I want pictures.

No problem.

I'm gonna send you an album so big, you

won't even have the storage space on your phone.

Alright, well then I guess I'll just

have to store them... in the cloud.

Ugh! I'm such an idiot! I'm such a stupid idiot!

I got caught with my pants down and I just... blurted it out.

I didn't want to look like a hypocrite.

Alright well, what are you gonna do?

Ugh, I want to do it... I just... you know...

Seriously, David?

You lived in New York City for 15 years

and had one minor incident with a homeless person.

Andrea, he tried to stab me!

He flashed a knife from across the street.

Well, he stabs me in my recurring nightmare.

David, you need to get over this ridiculous hobophobia.

It's absurd!

Ugh! You're right.

Every human, rich or poor, deserves

a high-end sushi experience.

And I'm gonna make it happen.

Do you think my stab-proof vest will fit under my samue?

Mark?! Have you seen my keys?!

Traffic is awful and I'm gonna

be so frickin' late for my shift.

- Or are you?

How about I give you a little lift?

Pretty sweet, eh?

Not gonna lie. This is pretty frickin' cool, haha!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but

you might have actually made a smart purchase here.

Ooh, I gotta put this on a gram.

Hmhmhm... hey!

What the hell?

Uh... Mark. What is Powerthrust Aviation?

Oh, that's the jetpack company.

Uh... why did we just get notified about

a scheduled payment of eight grand?

Uh, I don't know. Must be a mistake.

24 payments of $8,000?!

That's almost $200,000!

I thought you said it was two grand!

Uh, for what it's worth Tam,

I am just as upset as you right now.

But, you can't put a price tag on eating a cloud.

[chomp]

Hmm. Well, that was underwhelming.

So the two grand was just a down payment?

Oh, thank God.

It says here, if you return it within

30 days, you can get a full refund.

Okay. Good to know that's an option.

Uh. It's not an "option" hun.

You're returning that thing tomorrow.

Listen Tam I really, really need this jetpack.

When I'm up there in the sky, I am alive.

It's like I found my purpose.

Look honey, I get it.

Flying over traffic in that

jetpack was pretty frickin' cool.

But you know what else is cool?

Being able to afford Darren's college tuition.

Whoa whoa whoa, hold on, Tam.

The contract says I got 30 days, okay.

I can easily pay this off by then.

How are you gonna do that? You don't even have a job.

I know. I got something even better: a jetpack.

Gotta trust the pack, Tam.

The pack provides!

Wassup, dude. You need a ride?

Uh... Is this real?

Oho, you better believe it.

Well, my Uber did just cancel.

Alright. Time to fly, my guy.

Temperature okay?

Pretty cold...

This is unreal, though.

Right? Yeah, dude.

Oh, by the way, if you need a water just uh,

grab one from my fanny pack.

Oh, thanks. I'm good.

So uh, you- you from around here, or...

I grew up in the D.C. area. Been here about five years.

Nice. Nice. Yeah...

You're not a Caps fan though, right?

'Cause I'm a Flyers fan. Yeah, I'm a Flyers fan.

But uh, got a lotta respect for Ovechkin though, you know?

Guy's unbelievable.

You know, and I'm a fan of the game, so.

I'm a fan of the game.

That's my street down there.

- Copy that. - Can you break a hundred?

I sure can. Oh god!

Ohp oph oph ohp. Sorry about that.

Yeah, maybe just, uh, Venmo me.

Okay...

Don't forget to give me uh, five stars, dude. Thanks.

[chime]

? Jetpacks are awesome.

? Jetpacks are fun.

? Jetpack on fire when they fly to the sun. ?

? Jetpacks are awesome. ?

? Jetpacks are loud. ?

? Jetpacks bring the heat when I bust through the clouds, yeah! ?

? Let's burn some gas.

? Let's smoke that ass.

? Let's blaze our way through the sky. ?

? Let's lose control. ?

? Let's barrel roll. ?

? Let's go full throtttle then die ?

Woohooo!!! This is so random!!! Woooo!

Alright- alright, ladies,

Uh, let's try not to move around too much, okay.

Can you play some music?!

I wanna hear Sabrinaaaa!!!!!

Uh yeah, I don't have any music but,

uh you know, you can maybe just enjoy the sights.

Pretty cool...

Fine, then. We're gonna sing.

? If you really love me, why did you block me? ?

? If you really love me, then why did you block-bleghhh ?

- Ew! - Carly, I threw up.

Brooklyn! That's disgustin-Blegh!

Oh uh, hey Mark. Uh, wanna go flyin'?

I was thinking we could do some good

in the community you know, like uh, you said.

Ah sorry, dude. I'm beat.

Been working around the clock trying to pay for this thing.

Ooh. How's it going?

Let's see uh... ballpark, minus the 30 gallons of kerosene...

Are you kidding me?! I netted negative nine dollars!

Alright well, gotta start somewhere.

Ugh. Hah dude, fuel's killing me, okay.

These jetpacks do not get good gas mileage. Ugh.

Hey, Mark? I'm running late for my hair appointment.

Can you just fly me over there real quick?

Uh-uh. No. All I've been doing is stupid

jobs since I got this thing, okay.

But you know what? You were right.

Jetpacks are for goofing off, okay.

They're not for doing useful crap, okay.

God forbid I get something because

it's awesome, cool, and fun!!!

Mark, I'm not trying to stop you from having fun.

Just maybe have fun doing something

that doesn't cost $200,000.

No, okay.

Nothing is ever gonna be fun again because

I'm gonna be chasing this dragon for the rest of my life.

Alright well, Plug World is open until nine.

I put the receipt in the box.

No. I'm not going, okay.

I still got a few weeks before I gotta

return this thing, so I'm gonna use that

time to do what this jetpack was meant to do:

Fly around and do tricks and have no rules!

If you need me, I'll be in that cloud right there.

? Jetpacks are awesome.

? Jetpacks are fun.

? Jetpack on fire.

? Watch me fly into the sun. ?

? Yeah. ?

Whoa! What the-

No frickin' way.

What's up, my guy!?

Dude! You got a jetpack too?!

Hell yeah, man. I'm Thunderhead.

Whoa. That's a cool name.

That's my Skyboy's name.

Skyboys? What's a Skyboy?

No frickin' way.

Some cold ones for the old ones.

I got brewskis, my friends.

Oh- New guy. What's up, man?

Ah you know. You know.

Just goofin' off. Poundin' clouds.

Right on, bro.

Always good to meet another thrust junkie.

I'm Starsurfer.

Sup dude. Mark.

So you guys like what,

just hang out, fly around and stuff?

Yup. That's the whole point of having a jetpack.

To have fun in the open sky.

Yeah exactly, dude!

People are like, "oh what do you need a jetpack for"

I'm like "Uh... Is that a real question?"

Because it's awesome. Ha, c'mon!

Hell yeah, right?

Groundies, man. They never understand.

Hey, who's up for a round of Sky Pong?

- Hell, yeah. - Oh, yeah.

- Yo, can I get in on this? - Hell yeah, you can.

Ohp- oh... Dude. Sorry about that.

Nah, nah. All good, dude.

Now you know why we stopped playing Sky Darts. Ha ha!

Okay, David. You got this.

What?

You want to serve them what?

Traditional Omakase.

I've been taking sushi-making classes,

and I'd love to use my skills to bring an

elevated culinary experience to the less fortunate.

I think that's wonderful.

But I'm not sure that's a good idea.

Most of the folks who visit our kitchens

face uncertainty in their daily lives.

Many of them depend on the routine

and comfort of a familiar meal.

Yeah, that makes sense. But here's the thing.

I kind of have to do this.

I made a promise to... myself that I would do this.

Well, we can give it a try.

But just know that some of them might get upset.

Got it.

Wait, when you say upset, what do you mean exactly?

Like angry? Not like violent, right?

- Oh, no. - Okay. Okay, great.

The only one you have to worry about is Bobby.

Bobby? W- What's his deal?

He can get a little... stabby.

Stabby? Like he stabs people?

I wouldn't worry about it.

We just make sure to keep the knives away from him.

Heheh...

Not too shabby, eh?

Yo, this is incredible.

Too bad I gotta give it all up.

What are you talking about?

Because I'm not made out of money like you guys.

I can't afford it.

Mark, I'm a cashier at Weglers.

Wait, seriously?

I figured you all were like

finance guys or VCs or something.

Nah. I'm just a personal trainer with a small YouTube following.

So how the hell are you guys paying for these things?

Let's just say we've found ways to leverage our new toys.

See, we've cooked up a little plan

that's gonna let us pay off our jetpacks.

For good.

Whoa whaoa whoa... For good! How?

Two words... Sky Heist.

Wait, heist? You mean... like stealing stuff or...?

I'd call it a high-altitude asset relocation.

But we can't say any more unless we know you're in.

Ooh man, I dunno,

I mean I get up to some wacky,

network-safe hijinks, but I'm not trying

to go, ya know, full felon here.

That's okay, Hoagies. Pack life ain't for everyone.

It's a shame, though.

We were excited to give you your sky name.

Ah, dammit.

Alright, screw it. I'm in.

We're glad to hear it, Nimbus.

Wait, Nimbus? Is that like my sky name?

Yeah.

Hmm. Ah.

That's disappointing, okay.

Alright, Skyboys.

We do this right and our jetpacks are fully paid off.

- So what's the job? - Cows.

Wait, we're stealing... cows?

Not just any cows.

100% purebred Kobe beef cows.

200k a pop.

Alright boys, let's run through it.

The shipment departs Osaka at 1300 hours.

Once we get confirmation that the bird's

in the air, we head down to the ranch for the decoy cows.

Do not forget to attach your BVTs.

Uh, sorry, what's a BVT?

Bovine Voice Transformer.

Converts the American Angus cows' moos

into Japanese moos in case anyone gets suspicious.

Once your decoy cows are strapped in.

we get to the intercept point.

We've got enough fuel to make the

swap with one in-flight refuel.

Falconfire, you're on the hose,

which is why he's assigned to the calf.

When Sunhawk opens the cargo doors,

we've got two minutes to make the swap

before the plane's load sensors detect the weight change.

Once the cow's secure, use your cattle

cubes to lure it off the cargo ramp into freefall.

Any questions?

Uh yeah. Uh... Not trying to pull a thread

here but uh... I don't know, maybe we want

to brainstorm some other heist ideas?

This one's feeling a little elaborate, y'know.

Been through them all? This is by far the best plan.

Trust the process, Nimbus.

Uh. Yeah. So um... Is it possible to,

like you know, request a new sky name?

I don't know like, Eaglewings or something?

Is that taken? - Eaglewings is taken, yes.

There's a woman in Collingswood who is active on the boards.

Alright, boys. Let's fly.

? [dramatic]

Let's go, boys. Clock is ticking.

That looks... I think that's good.

Yo- Hey Thunderhead, does this look right to you?

Oi! Nani shiterunda?! [Hey! What are you doing?!]

Yamero! [stop!]

Oof! Nimbus! Take him out.

Hold on... Take 'em out!? W-What?

Damn noobs.

Yo yo yo yo, dude! The hell, man?! We can't be killing guys!

It's a jetpack, Nimbus. A jetpack.

Let's go go go. Now!

D-Ohh! Whoa whoa whoa, whoaaaa!

What's this?

Chutoro from Toyosu.

That's pretty freakin' good.

- Thank you. - Let me get some more of that.

Ah... Uh sorry, we can only do two nigiri per person.

I want soup! Not this nasty crap.

Aww those are Hokkaido scallops!

Hey! Come on, Susan. Be respectful.

This guy is trying to do something nice for us.

Instead of complaining, maybe we should say thank you.

Arigat gozaimasu. Thank you.

Please enjoy.

I happen to think sushi is a fine

appetizer for a bowl of pea soup.

Well actually, there won't be any pea soup today.

See, Bobby? No soup today.

Just tiny, yucky sushis.

Bobby? Oh, God!

- Yeah! - We did it man!

Nice work, boys.

What's up with you, Nimbus?

- Huh? - You don't seem very happy for

someone who's about to own a jetpack.

No, no, I'm uh- No, this is good.

This is uh, this is good stuff. Uh... yeah.

- Hey there, Mark. - Hank.

How'd you get up here?

Oh I was, uh... flying around lookin'

for you, and I uh, saw some parachutes, so...

- Who the hell is this guy?

Oh, he's my little brother. He's cool.

Yo Hank, these are the uh, these are the Skyboys.

Wait. I thought we were the Skyboys.

No no, Hank. We're the Sky Bros.

The Skyboys are more of like, a jetpacks-only thing.

Oh. Okay. Are those cows?

Oh, uh, yeah, yeah. We're uh...

we're actually saving them, so...

- Right, we're superhumane. - Yeah, totally.

Oh, that's awesome. Proud of you, Mark!

Yep. Yep, yep, yeah. Doing good over here.

Definitely... using the jetpack for good, so...

Alright well uh, I'm gonna head back.

Uh, battery's getting low, so...

Alright, bud. I'll catch you later.

Nice cover, Nimbus.

Saving cows. Heh.

Right. I can't believe he bought that.

Hahah. Dronies, man.

Not the brightest bunch. - You can say that again.

Hahaha.

What the hell am I doing?

Actually, guys. Think I'm out.

What do you mean, you're out?

Listen, I get it. Jetpacks are cool, but

like, I mean, c'mon, look at us.

Pfff. What? This is badass!

I dunno, man, I mean, Thunderhead

almost smoked a guy back there.

If this is what you gotta do to pay

for a jetpack, then, uh... I don't know

maybe I shouldn't have one.

Aw ma- grow up, will ya?

It's gonna be worth it when you're

doing sky twirls and barrel rolls.

Eh, I'm good. You guys have fun.

[click] - No. Let him go.

This life ain't for everybody.

- Enjoy the grass, Groundie!

What are you gonna do with your cow?

I'm doing something good with it.

Idiot.

What do you mean, "no pea soup?"

Ah so um, we don't have that today,

but would you like some Uni Gunkan?

Um, it's uh- It's Sea Urchin.

It's the ocean's richest, creamiest treasure-

I want my pea soup.

Well- you know, um, uh- we do have edamame

in the back, and that's sort of like peas.

I don't want Eddy's mommy.

I want "Split Pea Soup!"

Bobby, settle down, please.

- Bobby! - I'm a volunteer!

- Bobby! - Relax, man!

Guy's trying to give us an elevated culinary experience.

Shut up, Jessup. I want soup!

Yoo what's up, everybody?

Who's in the mood for some Kobe beef burgers?!

I like burgers.

A little Wagyu beef, courtesy of the Sky Bros.

- Mark? - Oh, David?!

Yo, holy crap, dude.

Whoa, David! You're serving sushi at a soup kitchen!

That's awesome! - Yep. Sure am.

And look at you, using the jetpack for good.

Sure am, buddy.

But uh, actually heading over to

Plug World right now to return it.

Heheh. Well I think that's the responsible decision.

You wanna ride back on the pack?

Yes I do. Yes, please.

Alright, David. Hold on tight!

Um. Excuse me?

What am I supposed to do with this cow?

Well, boys. We did it.

Hey. Let's pour one out for Jet Stream.

I told him not to haggle with the buyers.

Those aren't guys you wanna mess with.

He's flying up above us, without a jetpack.

Hey, anyone wanna play Sky Scrabble?

I think we lost most of the tiles.

- Dammit. - Alright, uh...

Uh... maybe we can drop big rocks into the ocean?

Again? I guess.

Whoa. Looks like there's a new bird in the sky.

You guys got room for another?

Hell yeah, sis.

Hey, you just renting or you own that pack?

It's mine.

Had a bit of a windfall.

Someone left me a $200,000 cow.

Well, I'll be damned.

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