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OK, boys, watch this!
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{\an8}Mammoth...!
3
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Aaah!
4
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,519
♪ Well, you can tell
by the way I use my walk
5
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,119
♪ I'm a woman's man, no time to talk
6
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,159
♪ The music loud and the women warm
7
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,639
♪ I've been kicked around
since I was born
8
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,079
♪ But now it's all right, it's OK
9
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,879
♪ You may look the other way... ♪
10
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,199
There you go, Barry.
The usual, please, Clive.
11
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,999
So what are you painting? Well,
just my flat, before I sell it.
12
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,359
You're selling the flat?
Do you ever listen?!
13
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,039
So me and Julie can go travelling,
then buy a place together.
14
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,839
I'm going to ask her to marry me.
15
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,959
Congratulations!
You're a wonderful couple.
16
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,999
Are you mad? What do you want
to get tied down for?
17
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,759
Have another pint, and we'll talk
about it properly. No, I can't
18
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,279
stay long, me and Julie are
cutting down on the drinking.
19
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,439
See what I mean?
20
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,159
Who's the best footballer
in the world? George Best.
21
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,999
Who's the best actor in the world?
Oliver Reed.
22
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,279
Both love a drink.
It's not doing them any harm.
23
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,439
Well, I don't know if...
Hang on a second, Roger.
24
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,599
If you've got a few quid,
the brewery is selling this place.
25
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,599
Imagine that, Barry - your own pub!
Better than wasting money
26
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,319
on a house, isn't it?
You'd be a brilliant landlord.
27
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,159
Well, Julie wouldn't like it. Mm.
28
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,959
Plenty more fish in the sea.
29
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,359
Better fish.
30
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,559
More understanding fish.
31
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,439
You could really build
something here, Barry.
32
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,159
A future.
33
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:34,080
♪ Stayin' ali-i-ive... ♪
34
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:39,039
So I says to him,
"I haven't got any cherries,
35
00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:43,119
"but you can have a double vodka
or you can get out of my pub!"
36
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,399
Your pub, your rules, Barry.
37
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,239
I have to go soon.
I've got yoga at six.
38
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:51,399
Yoga? You've changed.
I can't sit in a pub all day!
39
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,279
I've got to
look after myself better.
40
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,479
Take a leaf out of Barry's book.
Look at him!
41
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,759
He's older, he hasn't slowed down.
42
00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,360
And I never will.
43
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,399
Thanks to you, old mate.
44
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:03,600
Cheers.
45
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,439
And that is called living your life.
46
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,000
BELL TOLLS
47
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,359
I don't think any of us
48
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,760
could see this coming.
49
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,199
Death is sad.
50
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,959
Very sad - no two ways about it.
51
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,839
And I should know.
52
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,119
I died.
53
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,799
In fact, I was going to
have my service here,
54
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,999
but there were just too
many people, apparently.
55
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,079
Hundreds.
56
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,559
A real... outpouring of grief.
57
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,999
This fella, inconsolable.
58
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,879
Wasn't he, Rog?
59
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,399
Probably felt guilty
that he'd outlived me.
60
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:24,719
But, in the end, as you
can all see, he didn't.
61
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,119
So in a way, I don't think anybody
62
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,480
would be more happier
here today than Barry.
63
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:32,360
Ahem.
64
00:03:32,361 --> 00:03:36,999
Now, Barry's sister's
lovely grandchildren wanted to
65
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,719
finish the service by reading a poem
they'd written for Barry.
66
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,360
But... we haven't got the time.
67
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,679
But it was very good.
68
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,799
Lots of, "We love Uncle Barry,
we miss Uncle Barry."
69
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,200
Usual sort of thing, nothing
particularly ground-breaking.
70
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,039
Right, I think that's everything.
71
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,479
Cheers, Barry.
72
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,759
See you on the other side.
73
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,079
MUSIC: Disco Inferno
by The Trammps
74
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,880
♪ Burn, baby, burn
75
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,959
♪ Burn, baby, burn... ♪
76
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,039
SCHOOL BELL RINGS
77
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,319
As I'm sure you're all aware,
78
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,999
the funding cuts mean we'll have to
look at ways to save costs,
79
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,919
and that might mean redundancies...
How does a 75-year-old man
80
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,479
go from the prime of his life
one second to dead the next?
81
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,879
Can you please stop doing that?
82
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,279
Barry got a lot of things right,
83
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,639
but for whatever reason,
he was single his whole life.
84
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:23,799
I don't want that.
85
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,839
I don't want to die alone -
not again.
86
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,479
I've been given a second chance,
Lucy.
87
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,759
I can't waste it.
88
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,519
This is not a work matter.
89
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,959
I want someone
to share my life with.
90
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,580
I want someone to share this with.
91
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,919
Any of your single friends
after a good man?
92
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,919
Most of my single friends
are looking for a good woman.
93
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,759
They haven't met me yet.
94
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:47,919
Don't make me explain
same-sex relationships to you again.
95
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,400
CAR HORN BEEPS
96
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,559
Mum... what are you doing here?
97
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,559
Just fancied a chat, really.
98
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:55,959
Everything OK?
99
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,839
Your driving instructor told me
you'd cancelled your lessons.
100
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,239
Do you want to tell me why?
101
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,320
It's fine if you don't.
No. I respect that.
102
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,920
Tell me. Uh, it's just...
103
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,279
...I don't want to drive any more.
104
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:15,719
I'm not very good at it,
and it makes me anxious. Ah...
105
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:19,520
I get that, but you can't just
not try cos it's uncomfortable.
106
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,919
I know - I'll teach you.
107
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,959
We'll start now, it'll be fun!
Mum, I really don't want to.
108
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,439
I said it'll be fun.
109
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,640
Come on!
110
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,840
Get in.
111
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,959
So, I've set you up with a profile.
112
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,199
Loads of women on there.
Are they weirdos?
113
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,479
I mean, I don't mind if they are,
but nice to know.
114
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,159
Just read their profiles,
115
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,840
and if you feel a connection
with any of them, swipe right. OK.
116
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,759
PHONE CHIMES
117
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,759
There we go, I swiped right on
all of those.
118
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,159
Oh, classy! A scatter-gun approach.
119
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,479
So do they arrive one at a time or
all together? I'm easy either way.
120
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,119
They don't arrive.
121
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,599
If you get matched,
if they like you too,
122
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,679
then you can arrange to meet up.
Brilliant, I'll leave that with you.
123
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,639
When they all say yes,
get their number,
124
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,039
tell them I'll take them somewhere
nice. And well done.
125
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,799
You'd have made me a bloody good
secretary for me, back in my day.
126
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,440
Well, I'm not - I'm your
bloody good boss, in my day.
127
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,110
I keep forgetting you're my boss.
It is mad, isn't it? See you later.
128
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,039
OK, reversing into a parking bay.
129
00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,959
Right, so slowly back, slowly.
130
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,039
Left, left, left...
Full lock, full lock!
131
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,279
What does that mean? I don't know,
it's what my instructor always said!
132
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,239
Keep turning, keep turning!
Whoa, whoa, a cyclist!
133
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,040
The one over there?
134
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:41,839
HE WHISTLES
135
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,359
Nine dates, Rog - nine!
136
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,919
These app things, fair play.
137
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,359
What a time to be alive!
138
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,319
No offence, Barry.
139
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,439
Speaking of which,
140
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,839
any ideas where we can
scatter the ashes?
141
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,399
I was thinking maybe the river.
142
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,879
There's a spot where we went
fishing a couple of times.
143
00:06:58,880 --> 00:06:59,919
It's very peaceful.
144
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,199
He'd hate that. Fishing's stupid.
145
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,879
No, think of somewhere he'd love.
146
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,039
The betting shop? Greggs?
147
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,639
I've got it!
148
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,439
Top of Pen y Fan,
he loved it up there.
149
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,119
Really? It's a long way to go.
150
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,119
And I don't think
I can make it up a mountain.
151
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,359
Course you can!
152
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:18,199
We'll go this weekend,
scatter his ashes, say a few words.
153
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,759
Come back down,
test out a few new pubs.
154
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:21,959
Happy with that, Barry?
155
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,119
Barry's happy with that.
156
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,439
Right, I've got to go and have
an intimate dinner
157
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,839
with nine different women.
158
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,439
Just what Barry would have wanted.
159
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,920
See you later.
160
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,759
Straighten up.
161
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,000
Straighten up... Straighten up!
162
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,839
OK.
163
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,079
Right. We are never
doing that again.
164
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,279
What was wrong?
165
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,999
Grabbing the wheel,
covering your eyes at roundabouts.
166
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,959
Shouting "Indecision kills"
at junctions.
167
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,759
I just can't, I can't deal with it.
But...
168
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,279
No, Mum, you're the worst teacher
I've ever had,
169
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,919
including Grandad,
and he ran me over in a PE lesson,
170
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,680
so I just can't.
171
00:07:58,781 --> 00:08:02,399
Even I couldn't outrun an avalanche,
172
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,159
so there I was,
frozen, under the ice.
173
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,879
But the great director in the sky
174
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,279
wasn't ready to
write me out of the film.
175
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,439
And that's not a line.
176
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,839
We've been here
an hour and a half... Mm-hm.
177
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,319
...and you haven't asked anything
about me.
178
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,279
Well, it's just that
life-story-wise,
179
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,519
there's no comparison.
180
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:19,799
I came back from the dead.
181
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,640
You're such a dick.
182
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,280
Bye.
183
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,400
"Be interested in them."
184
00:08:33,401 --> 00:08:38,879
You think you're not going to become
one of those crazy dog ladies,
185
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,279
and then you find yourself
in the park shouting,
186
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,199
"Good boy! Who's a good boy?
You's a good boy!"
187
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,599
Ho-ho, that is a brilliant story!
188
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,559
I'm so interested in you.
189
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,959
So, are you an animal lover?
190
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,279
Oh, yeah, yeah, I've got
a guinea pig in the form room,
191
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,279
mainly to keep the thick kids happy,
you know?
192
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:55,599
The thick kids?
193
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,119
Oh, yeah, I love thick kids.
194
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,559
Like I always say,
ignorance can be bliss.
195
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,279
Yeah, no, this isn't going to work.
196
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,880
No? No, I need someone
who shares my ethics. Oh.
197
00:09:06,891 --> 00:09:12,119
You can make your own poppadoms,
of course, quite easy,
198
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:13,990
but they will make
the kitchen stink.
199
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:18,719
Oh, that's a lovely name.
200
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,639
That was one of the, er,
Charlie's Angels, yeah.
201
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:22,720
The dead one.
202
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,359
Please take a seat.
203
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,320
I would get up, but, er,
you know, I'm sat down now.
204
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,800
Yeah, bye, then.
205
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,200
So what do you do for a living,
uh...
206
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,999
...Sarah? I run my own bespoke
ethical digital marketing company.
207
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,399
Great! I love ethics.
208
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,119
Really? Mm.
209
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,000
In what way? Generally.
210
00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:51,679
So tell me about yourself -
what sort of woman are you?
211
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:52,999
Erm...
212
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,719
Well, I'm not really into labels.
213
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,439
I don't want to be put in a box.
214
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:57,920
God, that is so interesting.
215
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,879
Let me just get you a glass of wine.
216
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,399
Oh, I don't drink. Nor do I.
217
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,280
Two pints of squash, please, chief.
218
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,839
I had a great time. So did I.
219
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,799
You are not what
I was expecting at all.
220
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,959
You look like a throwback.
221
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,999
But then inside, there's
this... modern, sensitive man. Yes,
222
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,520
there is. Yes, there is. Yeah.
223
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,160
Well, this is me.
224
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,999
Wow, look at that thing.
225
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,279
I mean, who drives a polluting
old penis extension like that?
226
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,399
We will never know.
227
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,039
I actually walked here today.
228
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,720
Planted a tree on the way,
for the carbon. Hmm.
229
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,719
I had a lovely time.
I'd love to do this again.
230
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:43,880
Yes, please.
231
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,719
Wonderful.
232
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,439
Take care. Bye!
233
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,760
Ride safely.
234
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,480
Well... he's back.
235
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,359
It's love, Lucy, true love.
236
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:15,559
You've been on three dates.
Do you even have anything in common?
237
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:18,239
She's very modern - she loves
the environment and all that.
238
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,879
Oh, so no, then.
But she doesn't know that, does she?
239
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,119
I'm playing the long game.
240
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,719
Who's that? That is Sarah.
241
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,639
Hey, Sarah, how's it going?
242
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,639
Anthony! You OK?
243
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,759
Sarah, this is Lucy,
my mixed-race lesbian friend.
244
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,719
Anthony's told me all about you,
245
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,079
and what an ally he's been
to you and your partner.
246
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,759
Oh, yeah. Thank God for... Anthony.
247
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:40,839
Well...
248
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,519
I've brought you lunch. Oh, lunch!
249
00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,359
It's a tenderstem broccoli
poke bowl.
250
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,319
A poke bowl! Mm-hm. God, I've been
craving that all morning.
251
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,879
Mm, you should have a bite now!
I wouldn't want to spoil it.
252
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,119
Mr Mammoth? Yes, Kyle?
253
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,159
My mum said... thanks again
for teaching me
254
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,559
that my behaviour
was toxically masculine.
255
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:58,679
It's OK. It's fine.
256
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,559
Yeah. Mr Mammoth? Yes, Theo?
257
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,960
Thank you for helping me
navigate being LGBTQ+.
258
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,920
We haven't got time for this, boys!
Let's, uh... kick off.
259
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,120
Oh, for God's sake!
260
00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,599
I've got a little surprise for you.
Oh!
261
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,479
I've booked us
a weekend away together.
262
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,130
Somewhere romantic, is it?
What is it, Paris, Rome?
263
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:30,599
Oh...
264
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,279
"The Life Glow Wellness Retreat.
265
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,479
"Find your tribe,
reconnect with your spirit."
266
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,319
You're going to love this. That's
right up your street, isn't it?
267
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,479
Yeah, she knows me. We're going
to be glamping - in a yurt!
268
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,119
Ooh! Oh!
269
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,559
Amazing, amazing!
270
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,799
I'd better go. Oh, yeah, well, yeah.
271
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,520
Bye. Bye! Glamping in a yurt, wow...
272
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,879
What's glamping on a yurt?
273
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,039
She's offering you sex
in a posh tent. Oh!
274
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,400
Put that in the bin for me.
275
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,639
God, it's heavy, innit? I'm glad
you're carrying it and not me.
276
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:07,159
Oh, this feels sad.
277
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,079
The Three Amigos
on their last journey.
278
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,439
Two amigos -
this amigo's got plans with Sarah.
279
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,599
What? Yeah. You're not coming? No.
280
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,759
What about Barry?
He's not going to mind, is he?
281
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,679
Anyway, I'm doing this for him.
Spending the weekend with a woman,
282
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,399
putting myself first, for once.
Because he wouldn't want me
283
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,919
to end up all alone, like him.
284
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,759
And you, obviously.
Selfish. Selfish?
285
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,079
I've got to spend the weekend
with a load of hippies.
286
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,839
There's no beer, no telly -
it's the last place I want to be.
287
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,679
How am I supposed to get there?!
Drive your car up there.
288
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,479
Doctor said I shouldn't drive!
289
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:40,279
He said "shouldn't", not "couldn't".
You'll be fine.
290
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,959
And when you get there,
give him a lovely send-off.
291
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:46,239
I was thinking maybe
I'd read out a poem or a song.
292
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,959
That's a rubbish idea.
Barry didn't like poems and songs.
293
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:52,799
He loved TV theme tunes.
Choose one of those. Which one?
294
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,319
I don't know.
I can't do all the lifting, can I?
295
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,759
For God's sake, cheer up, Roger!
296
00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,440
Barry wouldn't want you to be down.
297
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,959
Ready for your next lesson?
298
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,320
I can't, I've hurt my arm...
299
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,679
...bowling. Theo, if you're
going to lie, make it believable,
300
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,319
I know you're scared of wearing
bowling shoes. Please, Mum,
301
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,919
I just, I don't want to.
302
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,879
I get it.
Last time, I was too full-on,
303
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,759
but I've been reading
a parenting book...
304
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,359
Well, an audiobook. Well, actually,
just listening to the free sample.
305
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,599
...and long story short,
306
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,479
I need to nurture, not block.
307
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,839
I want you to grow.
308
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,519
Can I grow
309
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,039
by just using the bus and not
learning to drive with you?
310
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,720
No! Come on.
311
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,439
What the...?!
312
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,239
Where's my car?!
313
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:44,600
Maybe this is fate.
314
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:53,160
Not unless fate is a selfish pain
in the arse with a big moustache.
315
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,039
Anthony! You came!
316
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,199
Whoa... Your clothes.
317
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,480
Don't say it -
I look like Demis Roussos.
318
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,759
Just...
SHE GIGGLES
319
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,799
I just thought
I'd connect with nature. Yeah!
320
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,319
So are you going to get changed,
321
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,799
or...?
SHE LAUGHS
322
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,479
You're so funny! I know, I know.
323
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,239
Oh, and of course you drive
an electric car. Wow!
324
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,479
Doing my bit for the planet.
325
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,999
Only got the one, haven't we?
SHE GIGGLES
326
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,399
We should go say hi to everyone.
Yeah, we could do that.
327
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:32,160
Shall we first go to the yurt and
we can do a little bit of glamping?
328
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,080
You! Ah...
329
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,559
Our final guest!
330
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:42,039
Hello. I'm the retreat's
facilitator, Marcus.
331
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,359
Let's all take a moment
before entering to be mindful.
332
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,679
We leave our kleshas outside.
333
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,439
Does that mean take the shoes off?
334
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:54,079
Oh, kleshas, it's Sanskrit -
it means negativity.
335
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,450
Oh, I knew that, yeah. Yeah. So just
leave your negativities outside.
336
00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,559
Oh!
337
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,159
He's in bloody Brecon!
338
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,399
Honestly, Theo, I know you look
up to him and he's your grandad,
339
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,519
but he has overstepped the mark.
340
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,199
Stealing a car is wrong!
341
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,879
We should go and get it back.
342
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,599
How? We don't have a car.
343
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,279
We could take his car
and get mine back.
344
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,039
Driving lesson's back on.
345
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,079
What happened to
"stealing a car is wrong"?
346
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,519
It's a different context. I don't
want to drive to Brecon or anywhere!
347
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,159
Please, Mum! I'll show you
what a good teacher I could be.
348
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,559
It'll be fun!
Like Thelma & Louise.
349
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,239
They drove off a cliff and died.
350
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,240
Yes, but they had fun first.
Let's roll, sister.
351
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,719
That's it!
352
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,839
I thought we'd start with
group yoga,
353
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,999
then a session on breathing.
354
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,199
I think we've all cracked
the old breathing, Marc.
355
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,639
Been doing it for years.
356
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,839
Then a guided walk
to connect with nature,
357
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,719
followed by foraging for dinner.
358
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,400
400 quid, this cost -
not even laying on food!
359
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,800
You're so funny! Ha-ha!
360
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:07,079
So, get settled on your mats
in your own time.
361
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,639
All right, Marc? Do you want me
to lead this session for you?
362
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,199
I'm a qualified PE teacher.
363
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,640
I think it's best
if I guide the meditation.
364
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,960
Oh, suit yourself.
365
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,000
So as soon as feels comfortable...
366
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,399
...close your eyes.
367
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,519
Close your eyes.
368
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,280
Eyes closed, please.
369
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,480
Take a deep breath in...
370
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,600
...and release it out.
371
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,959
TONY MOANS
372
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,519
Feel the relaxation
in your shoulders.
373
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,999
The deltoids.
374
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,680
Delts.
375
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,559
I want you to breathe
into your arms.
376
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,159
You can't actually breathe
into your arms, obviously.
377
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,159
What I think Marc is trying to say
is relax.
378
00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,639
Maybe we should try and make this
a silent meditation.
379
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,679
So, quiet, please.
380
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:03,879
Everyone, pipe down.
381
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,399
Absolute silence, please.
382
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,159
The only voices in the room
383
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,199
should be me and Marc.
384
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:14,040
Sh...
385
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:35,759
The rainbow, to me, symbolises
peace, but also, kind of hope.
386
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,639
Great journalling, Clara. Love it.
387
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,839
So, Tony,
388
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,720
what have you journaled
for your perfect future?
389
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,959
Is that a robot? That's Twiki 3000.
390
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,430
It's a robot from the future
that can do anything.
391
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,159
Is that a boxer next to him?
392
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,639
That's George Foreman.
393
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,879
Twiki 3000 arranged a fight
between the two of us
394
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,959
to decide the undisputed
heavyweight champion of the world,
395
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,760
and I won - on points.
396
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,999
And is... is that a car?
397
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,759
It's a hover car.
398
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,319
Twiki 3000 made it
399
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,839
to take us all to
Studio 54 nightclub in New York,
400
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,520
so I could spend the night with
Charlie's Angels...
401
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,200
...but I didn't have time
to draw them.
402
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,879
Thank you, Tony.
403
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,799
Shall we move on to foraging?
404
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,119
So, I managed to find
some beech nuts,
405
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,639
oh, and some bullace - it's a
wild plum, good for a crumble...
406
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,959
Oof! Oh, the hunter returns.
407
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,879
I am starving! Let's get cooking.
408
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,679
What's all this?
It's the food for our vegan dinner.
409
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,319
Vegan? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
410
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,159
Remind me again
what animals vegans can eat.
411
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,399
None, obviously.
412
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,879
That's what I thought, yeah.
413
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,599
All right, back in a bit,
414
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:55,720
I'll just, er...
415
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,039
Hi! Where have you been?
416
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:07,279
Oh, I've been down in the woods,
just foraging for vegan things.
417
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:08,919
Uh-huh.
418
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,240
Oh...
419
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:12,999
Oh, Anthony, look...
420
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,959
Oh, my God!
421
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,439
Oh, no! Oh, quickly,
you have to do something. Oh!
422
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,360
Go on, quick!
423
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,759
Oh, no...
424
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:25,840
Oh!
425
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:29,599
Don't leave us!
426
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,320
Hop away from the light!
427
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,840
Oh, no, he's gone.
428
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,639
He's gone.
429
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:38,879
We've lost him!
430
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,400
Or her, it's hard to tell
with a rabbit.
431
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,439
Part of the circle of life.
432
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,679
Sometimes, nature can be so cruel.
433
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:51,240
We'll never know what happened...
to our furry little friend.
434
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,040
I do - you killed it!
435
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,959
I didn't kill it, no, it was...
436
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:03,319
I had to put it out of its misery
cos it was in such pain.
437
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,719
Because some bastard
had thrown a rock at him!
438
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,079
Someone in this group! What?
439
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:09,760
Maybe you, Marc.
440
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,040
Don't do that.
441
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,600
Bye!
442
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,559
So... here we are, old friend.
443
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,760
The old legs aren't what they were,
so we're not quite at the top.
444
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,479
We thought we'd send you off
445
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,800
with one of your favourite pieces.
446
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,920
♪ Blankety Blank
447
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:58,360
♪ Blankety Blank
448
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,200
♪ Blankety Blank
449
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:07,600
♪ Blankety Blank. ♪
450
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,239
I thought I knew you!
451
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:14,480
Sarah, you do.
452
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:16,879
I did all this for you.
453
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,599
Battering a rabbit to death?
454
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,279
I mean, yeah, if you put it
like that, it does sound bad.
455
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,519
You've been lying this whole time,
pretending to be someone else.
456
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,279
Who are you?!
457
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,439
I'm Tony Mammoth.
458
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:28,839
A man of action.
459
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,160
A man in love.
460
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,599
So will you give me...
one more chance?
461
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,439
No!
462
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:39,119
Good, because I'm a lone wolf,
and I will not settle down with you.
463
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:42,479
I really don't want that. I haven't
finished. I'm also a free bird
464
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,839
and I cannot be caged.
465
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:47,239
It wouldn't have worked out.
I can see that now, you're awful.
466
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,239
All right,
you haven't got to be personal.
467
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,399
I'm off, anyway!
468
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,020
Have a nice weekend, dickheads!
469
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:01,999
CAR CHIMES
470
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,080
Oh, for f...
471
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,799
Marc?
472
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,079
Marco! Marc...
473
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,799
Sorry about calling you a dickhead
and that, just...
474
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:14,839
Right?
475
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,919
Anyway, now we're mates again,
476
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,850
can you make a quick phone call
for me?
477
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:25,000
♪ I'm going to be snookering
you, snookering you tonight
478
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:30,520
♪ Snookering you, snookering
you tonight. ♪
479
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,160
Big Break!
480
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,680
PHONE RINGS
481
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,399
Hello? Rog, it's me,
listen, change of plan.
482
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:40,879
You've got to come and pick me up
483
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,879
from the Life Glow Wellness Retreat
near Brecon. It is a right dump.
484
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,559
I'm about to scatter Barry's ashes.
485
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,079
Well, don't, we'll do that together
back at the pub.
486
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,279
Much more fitting.
487
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,079
You said he wanted to be scattered
on Pen y Fan.
488
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:54,719
Never mind who said what and where.
489
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,439
The pub was Barry's home -
it's where he'd want to be at rest.
490
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,799
In fact, remember, that's what he
definitely said he wanted. What?
491
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,399
When? We haven't got time for this,
492
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,280
just get down here
as quick as you can.
493
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,999
I can't believe I did it!
You were great.
494
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,639
What a lovely surprise!
How did you know I was here?
495
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,199
From the GPS tracker in my car,
496
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,079
which you stole! All right, calm
down! I couldn't drive my own car,
497
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,519
I was trying to impress Sarah.
What's the big deal?
498
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,839
Well, it's selfish,
inconsiderate and illegal!
499
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,319
Help me out, Rog. No!
500
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,759
I almost died of hypothermia
because of you.
501
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,599
Climbing up a mountain for nothing,
502
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,359
then driving back
to give you a lift.
503
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:43,639
It's not my fault the car's flat!
The car's flat?!
504
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,439
Oh, well, that's brilliant,
well done!
505
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,239
Right! You know what?
I'm not putting up with this!
506
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,999
I've spent one day - one! - trying
to put myself first for a change
507
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,319
for my old dead mate,
508
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,199
and if this is the thanks
I get... I'm off!
509
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,880
Give me Barry, please, Roger.
510
00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,959
Come on, Barry,
just me and you, mate.
511
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:02,080
Just like the old days,
more or less.
512
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,440
Let's hit the road,
see where it takes us.
513
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,440
Adios, backstabbers!
514
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:19,079
ENGINE FAILS TO START
515
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,240
Fuck!
516
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,639
Hey-hey!
517
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,399
What are we all arguing for?
518
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,919
Let's all go back together
with Roger,
519
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,839
go home and give Barry
the send-off he deserves.
520
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,519
Your old dad will sort the cars
out. I don't want you
521
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,079
to sort anything out.
522
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,319
I'm too tired to drive!
523
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,359
I'm broken.
524
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:43,039
You broke me. I mean,
525
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:44,840
I could always drive us all back?
526
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,520
Oh, it's a bit snug.
527
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,359
Ow! Can you move your seat forward?!
528
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,159
That's as far as it goes, sorry.
529
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,959
Right, Theo, let's get out of here.
530
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,960
Go and give Barry
a proper sending-off.
531
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:02,880
Where is the urn?
532
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,160
Oh, bollocks!
533
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,479
I do remember him saying
he wanted to get scattered
534
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,760
in a car park just off the A470.
535
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,440
Put your foot down, Theo.
536
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,239
I'll put some sounds on.
537
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,559
♪ And all the girls dreamed that
538
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,759
♪ They'd be your partner
539
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:32,439
♪ They'd be your partner and
540
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,759
♪ You're so vain
541
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,079
♪ You probably think
this song is about you
542
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:43,399
♪ You're so vain
You're so vain
543
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,759
♪ I'll bet you think
this song is about you
544
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,480
♪ Don't you, don't you, don't you? ♪
545
00:26:50,530 --> 00:26:55,080
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