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1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:01,235
.
2
00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:03,537
[upbeat music]
3
00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,241
- Mike, your father's
coming over now.
4
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,509
This is the perfect time
to ask him.
5
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,479
- Why do you always want us
to connect?
6
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:15,516
Can I just run out the clock
until he dies?
7
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,285
- You and your dad
have been getting closer,
8
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:18,852
so let's keep that going.
9
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,188
Here he comes.
- Stop it, stop it, stop it.
10
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,622
- He's almost here.
Don't be nervous.
11
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:22,723
- Dad, hey.
- Hi.
12
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:26,060
- It's game night.
You wanna be partners?
13
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,496
- Sure, why not?
- Really?
14
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:33,000
Thanks.
I mean, I don't care.
15
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,768
- It doesn't matter
who your partner is, Dad.
16
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,570
Stella and I always win.
17
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:37,605
You know,
now that you're adults,
18
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,873
I think you can handle
the truth.
19
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,275
We always let you win.
20
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,543
- What?
21
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,278
- You let us win?
- Don't be upset.
22
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:46,180
We were just trying
to bolster your self-esteem.
23
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:49,350
- Not a parent's job.
24
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:52,853
- With all the non-stop praise
and trophies for just showing up
25
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:56,357
your generation
can't handle losing.
26
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,692
- I don't want to win
without actually winning.
27
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:02,763
Stella, we're gonna win tonight,
on our own, fair and square.
28
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,498
- Yeah!
29
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:07,435
If we're losing,
let us win.
30
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,370
- Are you kidding?
We're going to crush 'em.
31
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:10,904
Right, partner?
32
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,773
Oh, I forgot
the damn ketchup.
33
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,576
- I'll get it for you...
34
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,546
partner.
35
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,614
- Bob.
- Hey, Alice.
36
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,784
- I have a big surprise
for you.
37
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:26,387
- Ethan!
- Hey, Dad!
38
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,756
- Hey!
39
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,592
Everyone,
it's Alice's boy, Ethan,
40
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,860
the professional golfer.
41
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,262
- Isn't he handsome?
42
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:36,497
Lock up your daughters.
He's single.
43
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:37,865
- Mom.
- Come here, Ethan.
44
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,167
Say hi to everyone.
45
00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:43,437
- Martina? Stella?
Oh, so good to see you!
46
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:47,808
And who is your lovely friend?
- Ethan, it's me, Shea.
47
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,443
- Shea?
48
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,179
Little Shea
with the coke bottle glasses,
49
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,981
acne, and dental headgear?
50
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:57,685
- Yes, puberty
was not my friend.
51
00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:00,754
Nor were
any actual people.
52
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,356
- Well, look at you now.
53
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,558
Not that I'm looking.
54
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:08,396
I mean, I am,
but just the regular amount.
55
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,964
- Hey, how about a round
of drinks on the house
56
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,866
for my wonderful son?
57
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:16,604
- Wow, all I did was
get the ketchup, Dad.
58
00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:17,805
- Not you!
59
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:18,939
Ethan!
60
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:23,477
- Hey, Mike.
My brother from another mother!
61
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,447
- And father.
62
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,048
So what brings you
to Seattle, Ethan?
63
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:30,351
- On my way
to the Tokyo Pro-Am.
64
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:31,452
The sponsors
are putting me up
65
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:32,820
for the night
at the Four Seasons.
66
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:33,921
- The Four Seasons, Mike.
67
00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:37,458
That's all the seasons
there are.
68
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:38,759
I remember you
when I fitted you
69
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,528
for your first
set of clubs.
70
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,330
Only ten years old,
and you could already drive
71
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:44,765
the ball 200 yards.
72
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:47,034
- I still have
those clubs, Dad.
73
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:50,003
- You trying
to make me cry?
74
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,839
Well, a celebration
is in order.
75
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,641
I think we should move
game night.
76
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,108
- I love game night.
77
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,345
And me and you, Dad,
we're an unbeatable team.
78
00:02:57,345 --> 00:03:00,648
- Perfect!
We'll be partners!
79
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,650
- No reason not to be.
80
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,354
Here's your
stupid ketchup.
81
00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:12,260
[upbeat music]
82
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:18,366
*
83
00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:22,570
- My client cancelled so--
84
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,739
Were you gonna eat
that sugary cereal?
85
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:29,109
- How did you figure it out,
detective?
86
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,845
- You specifically asked me
not to buy sugary things,
87
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,447
so you could cut down
on sugar.
88
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,317
- I only say that
because you get turned on
89
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:40,621
when I pretend I'm going
to improve myself.
90
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,990
- Mike, I know what it's like
to give up something you love.
91
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,826
I gave up smoking, which was
the hardest thing I've done
92
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:51,031
and I pushed humans
out of me.
93
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,635
- I hate when you win arguments
using your vagina.
94
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:55,669
I'll get rid of it.
95
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,177
I feel so alone.
96
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,182
- Do you think
you're turning to cereal
97
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,319
because when Ethan's around
your dad shows
98
00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:12,620
an obvious preference to him,
99
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,322
and deep down you know
you need to confront him
100
00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:17,057
about the resentment you've been
harboring for 20 years?
101
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,659
- No.
102
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,596
- So you don't think
there's any sibling rivalry
103
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,333
going on here at all?
104
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,368
- No.
105
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,470
I wish my step-brother
would fail at something
106
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,505
so I could be
the good son.
107
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,507
Does that make me
a terrible person?
108
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,043
- Yes, yes, it does.
109
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:38,912
- Sweetie,
there's stuff that I do
110
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,482
in my therapy practice
that might help.
111
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,352
For example...
we could role play,
112
00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:47,154
so I can show you that it's not
gonna be as hard as you think.
113
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,389
- And I'm going to do it
114
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,492
just to show you
what a bad idea it would be.
115
00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:58,366
- I'll be Bob and you say
what's in your heart.
116
00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:01,635
- Okay, Dad...
117
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,538
I loved having sex
with you this morning.
118
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,678
- Take it seriously.
119
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:15,015
- I can't. You know why?
It's dumb.
120
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:17,918
- There's no wrong way
to do this.
121
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:24,558
- Dad...
you've always preferred Ethan,
122
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:27,595
and you're a mean son
of a bitch with devil eyes.
123
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,764
- Why won't you
take this seriously?
124
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,032
- Because, well,
are we sure
125
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:35,035
that therapy
does anything?
126
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,172
- Say what now?
127
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,808
- Now you're upset.
This is what happens
128
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:43,844
when you express
your feelings.
129
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:47,180
- Wow, you know what?
I need some air.
130
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,215
- Shows what you know.
131
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,851
Everyone needs air!
132
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:55,489
Good one, Mike.
133
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,026
- I can't believe
they let us win.
134
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,261
- I guess they wanted us
to feel good about ourselves.
135
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:05,098
I mean, who do they think
they are, alcohol?
136
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,299
- If we're going to win
fair and square,
137
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,335
we need to work
our butts off practicing.
138
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,337
- That sounds awful,
but...
139
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,706
Okay, I'll get
the weed.
140
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,107
- We can't
practice high.
141
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,242
- Why not?
142
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:17,277
As long as we also
play the game high,
143
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,912
we're golden.
144
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:22,683
You should really know that
as a scientist.
145
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,664
- [coughing]
146
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,901
- Ethan?
147
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:46,640
.
148
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:49,543
- Please don't tell anyone,
especially my dad and--
149
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:54,782
Mom!
So good to see you!
150
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,884
- Ethan Alexander Ellis,
151
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,052
what the hell are you doing
in this shed?
152
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,288
- What are you doing
in this shed?
153
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,791
- A mother always knows
where her son is...
154
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:07,661
when she's got
a tracking app on her phone.
155
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:10,197
- Look, Mom,
I actually came home
156
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,632
to tell you and Dad
something,
157
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,834
but Dad made such a fuss
about how proud he is of me
158
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,536
that I chickened out.
159
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:18,038
You see,
I have this thing--
160
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,039
- A thing?
161
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:22,075
Oh, my God!
My baby's dying.
162
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:25,112
- I'm not dying,
Mom.
163
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,014
My hands shake
when I putt.
164
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:29,316
It's called the yips.
165
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:30,551
My golf career
is over.
166
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,886
- Aw, honey.
- Aw.
167
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,021
- There go my dreams of being
168
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,657
the completely black
Tiger Woods.
169
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,860
They're not even sure
what causes it.
170
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,529
It could just be
psychological.
171
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:44,865
- Oh, my God!
My boy's crazy!
172
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,535
But none of this explains
why you are in a shed.
173
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,636
You've got money.
174
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:50,538
- I had money.
175
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,907
I also had the idea
I could play high-stakes poker.
176
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:58,245
- So you're crazy, broke,
and you're not a golfer.
177
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,681
Your father's
a dead man.
178
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,149
Okay, here's
what we'll do.
179
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,918
I'll talk to him.
I know how to handle him.
180
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:08,255
- Or...
181
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:12,560
are we missing an opportunity
for some real growth?
182
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,127
- Martina is right.
183
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,663
I should tell Dad.
184
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:16,830
I'll do it
at game night.
185
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,265
There'll be
a nice family vibe,
186
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,299
he'll have
a few drinks in him--
187
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,034
- All right, all right,
but if you feel
188
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,470
like you're going to cry,
you just look over to me
189
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,073
and I will step in
and fix everything.
190
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,340
- You know, Alice,
191
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,110
this might be an opportunity
for growth for you too.
192
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:34,014
- Aw, all that therapy mumbo
jumbo is for white people.
193
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,587
- So tonight's game
is Celebrity.
194
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,054
I wrote this one.
195
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,590
She was the first
white woman
196
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:45,225
on "The Real Housewives
of Atlanta."
197
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,894
- No idea.
198
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,428
- Kim Zolciak?
199
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,732
The Jackie Robinson
of that show?
200
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,500
She broke
the color barrier.
201
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,903
Everybody knows that.
202
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:59,406
Nobody knows yours.
Neil deGrasse Tyson?
203
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,742
- He's a hugely popular
astrophysicist.
204
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,276
- Whatever.
205
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,679
I don't get your
whole space thing.
206
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,347
Thinking about
how big the universe is
207
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:11,685
makes me feel
like I'm non-significant.
208
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,253
- Well, that's what I love.
209
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:17,324
It makes everything seem small,
even my problems.
210
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,192
- Yeah,
that's how I feel
211
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:23,530
when someone famous looks
like crap in their sex tape.
212
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,634
I mean, that's the day
you don't get your roots done?
213
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,237
We're looking
at the top of your head!
214
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:36,009
- Mike.
- Honey...
215
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,979
Sorry for crapping
on therapy.
216
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:41,014
It's probably real.
217
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,854
I'm gonna be an adult and I'm
gonna talk to Dad about Ethan.
218
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:49,990
- Oh, that's such
a good idea!
219
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,726
Oh, I'm so proud
of you!
220
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,695
But don't do it.
221
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,831
- But you said
I should do it.
222
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,199
- I did say
you should do it.
223
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,367
- So I should do it.
224
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:01,935
- No, you definitely
shouldn't do it.
225
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:07,474
- You know how
you needed air before?
226
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:08,842
Now I need air.
227
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,443
Are you happy?
228
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,113
You made me need air!
229
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,230
You're not going
to believe this.
230
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,331
Ethan is living
in the shed
231
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,466
and he blew all of
his money gambling.
232
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,169
- What?
233
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,206
- You knew?
234
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:42,409
- I bumped into him
in there.
235
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,112
- Does Dad know?
- No.
236
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:46,279
And you can't tell him.
237
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,816
Ethan is going to tell
everyone at game night.
238
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:52,452
- [laughs]
239
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,688
It's gonna
crush my father.
240
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:00,894
.
241
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:03,430
[upbeat music]
242
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,866
- So that was
your first kiss?
243
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,000
- Yes.
244
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,069
I never told anyone
that story,
245
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:13,140
even our coworkers
at the Renaissance Faire.
246
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:17,244
He may have only been a jester,
but he was my knight that day.
247
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,147
- Girls,
game's starting!
248
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,415
- Oh, no!
We didn't practice!
249
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:23,616
We did the exact thing
everyone accuses
250
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,052
our generation of.
251
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:28,088
We agreed we deserve to win,
but we didn't do the work.
252
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,990
We just spent all that time
getting to know each other.
253
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,525
- Now don't you wish
we'd gotten high?
254
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:36,063
- Okay.
I'm the time-keeper,
255
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:39,767
but I'm also here to help
anyone who needs help.
256
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:46,339
The names are right there.
Are we ready to play?
257
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,575
- Let's just go first
and get it over with.
258
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:51,411
- Ready?
And...go!
259
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,914
- Ooh! You had your
first sexy dream about him.
260
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:54,948
- Benedict Cumberbatch!
261
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,317
- Don't get it,
but yes!
262
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,952
Oh, that black guy
that you like.
263
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,088
- What now?
264
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,556
- Neil deGrasse Tyson!
- Yes!
265
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,592
Oh, I got into a fight
about her at the DMV
266
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,994
and that's why I don't have
a driver's license.
267
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:10,197
- Miley Cyrus!
- Yes!
268
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,800
- You don't have
a driver's license?
269
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:13,801
[bell dings]
- Oh, my God!
270
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:15,302
We're awesome!
271
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:16,436
- Okay.
272
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:20,340
Mike and Martina,
you're up.
273
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,374
Ready?
- Mm-hmm.
274
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,710
- And...
go!
275
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,545
- Easy!
You said I look like her.
276
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,814
- Uh...
Lucille Ball.
277
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,548
- What?
278
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:29,817
She looks crazy.
279
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,251
- I couldn't think
of another redhead.
280
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,285
Uh...
Nicole Kidman.
281
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,354
- No, the girl from
"Zero Dark Thirty"!
282
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,422
- Isn't that
Nicole Kidman?
283
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,424
[bell dings]
284
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,826
- It was Jessica Chastain!
285
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:39,827
- How could I say
you look like her?
286
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:42,129
I don't know
who that is.
287
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:46,566
- Oh, now I remember.
I said I look like her,
288
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:49,169
and you said,
"I don't know who that is."
289
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,504
- So the current score
is 3 to 0.
290
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,273
Seems like you're unable to win
because you don't have
291
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:57,144
the requisite skills
to excel at the game.
292
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,547
- We need to work
on your trash talk.
293
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,918
- Choking under
pressure, huh?
294
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:08,288
This is exactly why Mike
never made it as a golfer.
295
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,190
But at least
I got one.
296
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,525
- That big dummy's
got a surprise coming.
297
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,529
- Okay, Bob and Ethan,
you're up.
298
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,965
And, Ethan,
remember,
299
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:21,668
if you need any help,
I'm right here.
300
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,938
- He knows where you are,
Alice.
301
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,940
- And...
go!
302
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,442
- I like one of his movies,
but hate the other one.
303
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,510
- Kevin Costner.
304
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,745
- Yes!
305
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,048
You know me so well,
son.
306
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,352
That guy with the thing
and they go into the thing.
307
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,487
- "Ocean's Eleven"!
308
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,589
- Yes!
309
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:45,658
But the actor, the one
with the face I want to punch.
310
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,427
- There's so many!
311
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:48,661
Narrow it down!
Narrow it down!
312
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,597
Clooney!
Damon! Pitt!
313
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,065
[bell dings]
- Oh, to be fair,
314
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,801
I would have punched
all those guys.
315
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,603
But it was
Casey Affleck.
316
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,808
Mike, remember when
Ethan introduced me to Costner
317
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,676
at that celeb tourney?
318
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,713
Terrific grip on his handshake
for a gay movie star.
319
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,918
- Kevin Costner
is not gay.
320
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,486
- Oh, please, he's an actor.
They're all gay.
321
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,991
And before you girls
jump down my throat,
322
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,193
I'm fine with it.
I shook his hand, didn't I?
323
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,596
Hey, Ethan,
you got any more
324
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,632
of those celebrity tourneys
coming up?
325
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:34,574
- I'm right here, baby.
326
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:37,110
- Why does Grandma keep saying
where she is?
327
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:42,049
- Well, I do have
something to tell you, Dad.
328
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,451
- He does.
329
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,553
- And it's that...
330
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,758
At the Tokyo Pro-Am, I'm going
to play with Bill Murray.
331
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:54,962
- He's my favorite!
332
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,330
- I know and I'd love
to introduce you to him!
333
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,799
- Is this guy a hell
of a son or what?
334
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:02,735
- Hey, Ethan,
why don't you call Bill Murray
335
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,705
from your suite
at the Four Seasons?
336
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,645
It probably makes this place
look like a shed.
337
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:17,850
- Martina...
338
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,486
- Guys...
kitchen.
339
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,620
Okay.
340
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,555
You have to tell your dad
the truth now.
341
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,191
And you two have
to shut up and let him.
342
00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:27,027
I know you all think
that therapy's not effective--
343
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,362
- That's not what I said.
- It's what I said.
344
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,800
- Look, Ethan.
345
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,336
In therapy we say
it's best to avoid words
346
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,138
like "always" and "never."
347
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,307
Express what you're feeling
with "I" statements
348
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,475
and come from a place of love.
349
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,644
Got it?
350
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,213
- Got it.
351
00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:47,814
- The living room's
this way.
352
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,220
- Bob?
- Hmm?
353
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:56,723
- Ethan has something
to say to you.
354
00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:59,459
- Well,
for starters,
355
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,128
you're not gonna get
to meet Bill Murray.
356
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,862
- What?
357
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:09,902
- You don't get to meet
Bill Murray.
358
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,108
I'm sorry.
359
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:17,444
Go on, Ethan.
360
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:24,417
- The truth is...
361
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,086
Bill pulled out
of the Tokyo Pro-Am,
362
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,820
but maybe you can meet him
at the Phoenix.
363
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,289
I'll give him a call.
364
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,424
- Well, this is ridiculous.
He's never gonna tell him!
365
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,425
- Tell me what?
366
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:33,926
- I'll do it, baby.
- No!
367
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,728
Ethan is going to do it
himself in a healthy,
368
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:39,899
therapeutic manner.
- Oh, good lord!
369
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,970
- I'm with her.
370
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:46,439
Enough with
this therapy baloney!
371
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,308
- That's it!
I can't take it anymore!
372
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,110
Therapy is not baloney!
373
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:53,246
It's real and I do it
for a living.
374
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,815
And thank God I do,
'cause otherwise,
375
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:57,617
we'd be in a world
where people just blurt out
376
00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:00,920
that Ethan's golf career is over
and he's living in our shed!
377
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:21,274
.
378
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:22,675
- I'm sorry I didn't
tell you, Dad.
379
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,746
The last thing I'd ever
want to do is disappoint you.
380
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:27,780
I was embarrassed.
381
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,617
- I'm embarrassed too
for my outburst.
382
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:38,425
But this isn't about me,
so I'll just be right here.
383
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,693
- Unfortunately...
this means I'll need
384
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,762
to stay with you
until I get back on my feet.
385
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,664
- I guess we got something
in common, Dad.
386
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,667
We both got kids who are
disappointments living at home.
387
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,403
both: Hey!
- Hey!
388
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,738
- Disappointment?
389
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,507
This man is not
a disappointment!
390
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,809
It took a lot of guts
for him to tell me the truth,
391
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,645
the guts of a champion.
392
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,513
A champion who needs
a hug, I'm guessing.
393
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,319
- Seriously?
394
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,960
What are you doing here?
395
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,664
- Ethan told me you come out
here to eat children's cereal.
396
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:22,402
- Yes, alone.
397
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,337
- What the hell's
the matter with you?
398
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,606
Whenever Ethan's around, you
always get bent out of shape.
399
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,074
What's your problem
with him?
400
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:30,977
- It's not Ethan; it's you!
You're the problem!
401
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:35,348
You never once give me...
402
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:38,318
You always treat him...
403
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,687
- What?
Why do you stop?
404
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:43,923
- It's best to avoid words
like "always" and "never."
405
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,192
- Why?
406
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:48,027
- I don't know.
It's something I heard.
407
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:52,064
Look, Dad, I feel like
you prefer Ethan to me.
408
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:55,735
And it hurts...
409
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:59,606
the feelings...
410
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:00,840
of me.
411
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,444
Ah, screw it.
412
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:05,812
Just get out of here
413
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,815
and let me eat my cereal.
414
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:09,849
- Suit yourself.
415
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,223
Look.
416
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:19,826
When you were born,
I was in a bad marriage.
417
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,229
And maybe I associate you
with that.
418
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,897
But then I met Alice,
and I was in a happy marriage
419
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:29,602
with this little boy
who really needed me.
420
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:32,239
It probably won't make you
feel any better,
421
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:33,540
but the mistakes
I made with you
422
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,842
made me a better father
to Ethan.
423
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,945
- You are a good father.
424
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,647
To him.
425
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:46,519
- Plus Ethan,
he looks up to me.
426
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,888
He worships the ground
I walk on.
427
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,357
Do you feel that way
about me?
428
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:55,895
- I'd have to be delusional
to feel that way about you.
429
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,331
- You are a pain
in the ass, Mike.
430
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:00,533
- You are a son
of a bitch, dad.
431
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:05,037
- Look at us
getting all mushy.
432
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,038
What you got there?
433
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,240
- Eh, Captain Crunch.
434
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,377
- With Crunchberries?
It's good stuff.
435
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,544
You know,
when you were a kid
436
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,945
I used to take
all the marshmallows
437
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,514
out of the
Lucky Charms.
438
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:17,317
- Lucky Charms
has marshmallows?
439
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,888
- Good night, Mike.
440
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,691
You can come out now,
Martina.
441
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:29,629
I may have been
a bad dad,
442
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:32,265
but I'm still a hell
of a detective.
443
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:39,539
- Lucy, you got
some 'splaining to do.
444
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:44,277
- So do you,
secret sugar cereal eater.
445
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,578
- Yours is way worse
than mine.
446
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,747
Cigarettes were never part
of a balanced breakfast.
447
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,517
- They were in the trailer park
I grew up in.
448
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:57,590
That was a great talk
that you two had.
449
00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,427
And whoever gave you
that "always" and "never" advice
450
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:04,464
sounds like
a beautiful genius.
451
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:07,834
- I apologize
for ever doubting it.
452
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,539
Taste like cigarettes.
453
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:15,675
- You taste like
Crunchberries.
454
00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,711
- Lucky you.
32361
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