Original subtitles

SICILY EXPRESS

That's the cathedral in Milan, no?

But we're not in Milan, we're still in Sicily, right?

Who knows,

maybe Palermo's Cathedral went through some overnight renovations?

Ah.

Uh, please, sir!

Where are we right now?

You're inside a dumpster.

Yes, I know that, but in which city?

This is why you shouldn't do drugs. Come on, let's go.

How is this possible?

Ow!

-Did you feel that? -Yes!

-This isn't a nightmare. -Did you have to slap me?

Well, how else was I supposed to find out?

-This isn't normal, something's going on. -No, this isn't normal.

Maybe we ate something that expired and it's making us sick.

-Maybe the mushrooms? -Or the milk.

-Or the lentils. -Yeah, probably.

-Anything is possible. -Wait a minute.

The cake, the colomba!

The colomba? But it's Christmas, which means we ate panettone.

That's what you think.

I heard that all the colombas that don't sell at Easter are pressed,

reshaped and sold at Christmas time as panettone.

That's it! It has to be that!

See, my friend, those cakes can be very dangerous.

-It makes perfect sense! -Think about it.

-I felt strange when I took a bite. -Let's go home.

-I said, "This isn't panettone." -Of course! You notice the taste?

It was completely off. I was like, "Ugh!"

-Ah. Finally, you decided to come home. -Mm.

Honey, where were you this whole time?

So we were throwing out the, uh... Never mind, sweetie. Uh, can I help you?

Here.

I'm sorry my parents said all those things earlier tonight.

-Yeah. -But that's the way they are.

-Ah, I know. -But they respect you.

-What would it be like if they didn't? -You could have...

I could have what?

I'm sorry but can you imagine me working with your parents?

No!

Unless you didn't have a job. But you have one!

-Why'd you say, "You could have"? -So there.

You didn't let me finish. That's not what I meant.

What I was going to say was,

you could've told me your manager canceled your days off, Val!

Well, I didn't because Salvo told me that it would ruin the opening event.

Mm-hm.

-Yes, but Salvo is Salvo. And you are you. -Hm.

And we promised to tell each other everything,

even when it's unpleasant.

Right, honey?

Right.

Aw.

What's that smell?

Were you inside a dumpster or something?

It's just that Salvo wanted to talk somewhere nice and quiet.

So, you chose to talk inside an old dumpster?

Yeah, well, it was surprisingly cozy.

-Salvo, tell me the truth. -Huh?

Did it bother you that Gugu was at the opening today?

-Please, no. Me, jealous? -Yeah, you're right.

Jealousy is mainly a lack of trust.

-You're not like that. You trust me. -Exactly. Yes.

Actually, that's how you won me over.

You're not jealous like most Sicilian guys.

-Right? -Me being jealous of Gugu?

-That's crazy. -Yes.

Jealousy is a disgusting feeling.

-It makes my skin crawl thinking about it! -Definitely, yes.

If I were jealous, I would have asked you, "My love, why were you out for so long?"

But mostly, why did you spend all that time with Valentino?

-Well, because Valentino... -But I trust you fully.

-Good for you. -Just like you trust me.

Of course, yes. I do. I sometimes forget I do.

That being said, uh,

you should have seen your face today when Gugu invited me to bingo night.

Okay, that's enough, stop it now. Enough with this Gugu thing already!

I'll say it once and for all. Tomorrow, I want you to go to bingo night!

-Or I won't be happy! -Are you sure?

I am 100% sure.

-Whether it's about bingo night or Gugu. -Okay, then.

As if I'd be jealous of Gugu. Nonsense.

-Fine. Then can we go to bed now, please? -Yeah, yeah. Let's sleep.

Because I'm pretty tired, if you wanna know.

-Yeah, me too. -Okay then.

Oh, my love?

Can you hug me?

-Yes. -Mm.

What in the world? Why do you smell like that?

-What the... -Today was such a crazy day.

Mm, whatever.

You know...

You can tell me where you went with Valentino, right?

To Milan.

Seriously, you can be a real pain in the ass.

Turn off the light, my love. Come on.

The right to decent roads, transportation, healthcare, and above all,

equal opportunities for everyone.

Join me in finally uniting Italy.

Think of those living in the south of our country.

For how much longer will the south have to deal with the State's neglect?

And tomorrow, you'll be here on time!

Punctuality!

And if you're not, I'll fire both of you!

-What? -Did you have to react that way?

-What are you doing, scaring me like that? -You scared me too!

-What are you doing here? -The same thing as you.

-Come on. Help me. -Wait a minute.

Why?

Why are you doing that?

Maria Teresa noticed how bad I smelled.

-Okay let's go, come on. -You first.

Shh!

How is this even possible? I don't get how this happened.

Who cares about how it happened? What matters is that it did.

And if you ask me, I think we deserve this smelly dumpster.

Ah! Oh, come on. I have an idea.

Hey! What are you doing? Help me!

-Come on! -Yeah.

Hi.

And that's why you should stay in school.

-I really don't think this is a good idea. -You've got to trust me a bit, all right?

If we wake up the landlady, that's it for us.

We won't wake her, she sleeps like a log.

Not even a fire alarm would wake up that lady.

-Let's go. -Hurry up, faster.

Be careful.

Okay, let's go.

Okay. Okay. One last small hurdle.

-Hm... -Huh. Hurdle?

-Mm, ah, well... -Come on, let's go.

-Come on, come on. Go, go, go. -Okay.

Lift it.

Salvo, quietly!

-Hey! What are you doing? -Oh!

Not so loud!

-Be quiet! -Okay. Lift.

Hurry.

Shh!

Come on. Quiet.

Shh!

Push!

It's stuck!

-Hurry, go, go, go! -Shh!

Shh!

Okay, come on. Shh! Not so loud!

-Close the door gently. -Shh!

-Gently. -Okay, okay. Go, go, go, go.

Welcome home. This will be your room.

You know it's a dumpster, right?

-Who is it? -I don't know. Now what?

I'll go check.

You watch my back.

It's the landlady!

It's your damn shoes!

Hello. Everything all right?

What's all that noise?

That was you at our door.

No, I heard very strange noises.

-Up here? -You know I hate noise.

-Especially when it comes from up here. -Crazy quiet, though. How odd.

Hm...

They're like gloves for feet.

Shall I remind you

that the lease you signed mentions that it is strictly forbidden

to have any guests over whatsoever!

I never invited anyone.

Hm!

I will not tolerate any parties.

Hm...

-Hm... -Hide, hide!

And I will not tolerate loud behavior! I heard music coming from up here.

I have a feeling you had a costume party.

How would you know if it's a costume party?

Is it the way we dance?

I can only imagine what two men do together

when they're away from their wives.

-I swear, we really didn't have a party. -No!

Shh!

-Quiet! -Good night.

-That's enough! Please stop! -Shh! Not so loud!

What are you doing? That's enough! Stop it!

What a drama queen.

-Gugu. -Cla.

Hi.

This place is great. You've got a hit on your hands.

Salvo, this dumpster is the greatest Christmas present I've ever gotten.

-But how does it even work? -I wonder.

Who really cares?

-What matters is that it works. -What are you doing?

Calling Maria Teresa to tell her about the dumpster.

Why? Why, my dear friend? What's the rush?

There's no need to do it now,

because if you call Maria Teresa at this time of night,

she'll be worried and she'll call Claudia, who'll also be worried.

Come on now, you don't want to do that. You should wait.

Maybe there's something you're meaning to ask, as my friend.

As your friend,

I'm asking you to not tell Maria Teresa

anything about this for the next 24 hours, please?

-And why not? -Tomorrow's bingo night at Guglielmo's.

I wanna make sure that my absence

isn't reigniting the spark between Claudia and Guglielmo.

No, please don't tell me you're going to use this dumpster just to...

To spy on Claudia. Is that it?

How could you possibly accuse me of something like that?

Boy, shame on you for thinking I could do something so scandalous. Me?

You're right, sorry.

-I just want to spy on Guglielmo. -And he'll be with Claudia!

Now you're just playing with details. Come on, seriously...

Salvo, twist it the way you want, the fact is you don't trust Claudia.

That's pretty serious. Claudia doesn't deserve that.

-You better cut that out right now! -What are you talking about?

You know I trust Claudia, but I don't trust Guglielmo.

That guy wants me out of the picture.

He even moved bingo night from the club to his house

all because of a sudden water leak?

Yeah, so what?

We don't have water here. How could there even be a water leak?

Aren't you forgetting that they used to be lovers?

Oh, I know. I know all of that.

Then you should be happy that they're still on good terms, right?

And besides, he's really nice, that Gugu.

Stop it. Why do you say Gugu?

Well, Gugu is his name.

No, his name is Guglielmo, all right?

There's no such thing as Gugu! Have you ever heard of Saint Gugu?

No. There. So stop it!

-Salvo, come on. -Valentino, I'm only asking for 24 hours.

I just wanna have a look at how everything's going.

A small, little, tiny peek, nothing else.

I wanna make sure he's behaving correctly, that's it. Please.

Salvo, come on. Can you believe what you're asking me?

My goodness, do you realize what you're asking me?

I've never experienced anything amazing in my life, not even once.

And when finally I'm blessed with a dumpster,

you come and ask me something like that?

How could you ask me to lie?

Making me lie can't work. Can you see me lying to Maria Teresa?

Me, lying, seriously?

All right. Okay, fine.

Obviously, making you lie would prove what good friends we are,

but... whatever.

How could you say that? I would do anything for you.

Really, you would? Hm?

I would, yes.

Well, then, my dear friend, we have a deal.

Give me a nice big hug, will you!

But I'm warning you, I'm giving you 24 hours only.

Twenty-three hours will do.

You know me, I get things done very quickly.

-Not a minute more. Is that clear? -Yes, don't worry.

All right, listen. Tomorrow, we'll take the dumpster to go to work.

Okay, but we'll have to tell everyone that we're taking the plane, as usual.

-Right. -Thanks again, my dear friend.

-I appreciate it. -Why do you keep saying "my dear friend"?

-Sorry, my dear friend. -It's the last time I'm doing you a favor.

-Thanks, my dear friend. -Stop saying that!

But that's what you are!

Oh, honey, do you have to leave already?

Yeah, I'm afraid so, sweetie. Time flies by so fast.

Honey?

You're already awake?

-Yes, I am. -And you're already dressed too?

Uh, yes, but I didn't want to wake you up just yet.

I'm all set to go, all I'm missing are my shoes.

Okay.

I'm heading out because I have to go to work.

Uh, why can't you just make up some excuse and not go to work?

I know you're really terrible at lying but...

But, Vale, maybe you could try harder for once.

What time is your flight at?

Uh, it's at... at... at, uh...

We take off at 10:30 sharp, I swear. No bullshit.

-Honey, you know you should never swear. -Yes. I know.

-I won't swear anymore. -I hate it when we're so far apart.

-My love. -Sweetie, I know.

But there's nothing I can do about it.

But I can, maybe?

No! There's nothing I can do about it either, Salvo, okay?

Because I'm a woman, you think I have to follow you wherever your job takes you?

-Well, I won't. I run a business now. -No, sweetie...

If you really cared, you'd move back here to work.

Sweetie, I don't wanna fight just before leaving.

-Please. -I don't either.

But I hate it when you say things like that.

-Bye, sweetheart. -See you later, Dad.

Dad is leaving for a while, but I'll be back very soon.

Hey, Dad?

Do you know if Santa Claus took my drawing?

What drawing?

The drawing I made for Santa yesterday. You saw it, right?

Yes. Yes, I saw it, don't worry. But go back to sleep now, okay?

-Bye, sweetheart. Mwah. -Yeah.

-Sweet dreams. Go back to sleep. -Bye, Dad. Yes.

Bye, Daddy. Bye-bye.

What a shame you're leaving a day early.

Yeah, but I don't have a choice, you know.

Of course I know you don't.

Like I know you didn't choose your boss or to get transferred in the first place.

I was just saying...

Why would you say such a thing? As if I didn't know that already!

Sweetie, calm down. She's trying to sleep. Give me a hug.

I don't wanna fight. Come on now, give me a hug.

Come here, sweetie. Hold me tight.

-Honey, why... -Do I smell?

-Did you put perfume on? -Hm? No.

-Oh. No. -I didn't.

No. This is my natural scent. Manly, wild, and strong.

-Mmm... -Smell.

You're such an idiot.

Come on, sweetie. Please, calm down.

We promised each other...

I know.

...distance wouldn't ruin our relationship.

-You're right, I'm sorry. -Okay?

Mmm!

Hm?

Did you put perfume on?

No, I didn't. It's probably the clean sheets.

Hm. But I didn't even clean them yet.

The taxi!

I forgot to call the taxi, sweetie. I can't believe I forgot to call the taxi.

-I better do it now. One second, please. -Okay.

Sorry, my love.

Hello? Hello, good morning.

I need a taxi as soon as possible at 27 Elon Musk Street. Thank you.

Yes, I know, the name was chosen through an online vote.

Hey, my love, aren't you gonna miss your flight?

No, don't worry about it, sweetie. He's always late.

-He'll be here soon. -Claudia?

-Yes? -Do you have any running water today?

No, not yet.

They mentioned turning it back on this morning, at 6.

-How come there's still nothing? -I don't know, I guess they're late.

Hey, look, he's coming. He's here.

All right, sweetie. I'll call you tonight, okay?

Yes, but don't forget that I'm going to bingo night at Gugu's, okay?

-Oh, so you decided to go after all? -Yes, my love.

That's perfect. Good for you, sweetie.

-That's great. Bye! -Bye!

So sorry! I completely forgot to book the taxi.

No, don't worry about it.

Hurry up and leave, you guys are late. Bye!

Bye, Claudia.

-See you soon. Bye, sweetie! -Ciao. Bye.

I'll call you.

-Enjoy bingo night. -Yes, I will.

Okay.

We'll circle around the block and wait for Claudia to go inside.

Then we'll go get my scooter out from the garage

and we'll go with that.

-Perfect planning, Salvo. -Huh!

Excuse me, sir. Can you circle around the block?

I forgot something.

If you forgot something, get out of the car and go get it now.

What's wrong, honey? Did you forget something?

No, sweetie. He's still learning to drive, that's all.

See you!

-Ciao! -Bye, sweetie!

I told you to go around the block, I forgot something.

But why would I circle around?

If you forgot something, get out of the car and go get it now.

Because I don't remember what it is that I forgot.

If I remembered, I wouldn't have forgotten it.

By the time you go around the block, I'll remember what it is that I forgot.

Okay?

-Wow, what a weirdo. -Yeah.

Slow, slow. Slow down. My memory is already fading on me.

So be careful.

Or maybe I'll forget what I just remembered I forgot in the first place,

and we'll have to start this all over again.

-There! -Okay. Slow down.

And then stop here. Stop, stop. We'll get off here.

We're going to the airport, no?

No, we're not going to the airport anymore.

You're still paying me for the airport run, I don't care.

Here you go.

And change your perfume.

PLEASE KEEP PASSAGE CLEAR. THANK YOU.

Damn it, who could it be?

Giovanna!

Be quiet or she'll hear you.

-Hello, Giovanna? -Hey, guys, why aren't you here yet?

We're about to take off. Weren't you supposed to go back today?

What should I say?

Are you staying there?

Giovanna!

I can't... Giovanna, the phone...

-What? -Network is bad.

I can't hear anything. You there?

-What? -The connection is bad.

What, Vale?

I can't hear you.

-Vale? -The connection is bad, I'm hanging up.

-You're getting cut off. Hello? -Giovanna.

I can't hear you. I'm going through a tunnel.

I'm in a tunnel right now.

Wait, wait, what? Hello?

-Valentino, hell... -What are you doing?

-That trick works every time. -You made it sound like a stroke.

Hm. Oh, well.

Slow, slow. Slow down.

Does it still work?

Of course it does. This thing's a rocket!

-Not so fast, this isn't an action movie. -Hold on tight.

Stop. Slow down, stop!

Okay, hurry! Move it, come on!

-Hey! -What?

There!

-Fine, give me my things. -They're yours, you carry them.

-Okay, let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Run.

Enough!

Stop it!

Back off!

All the money saved on airfare is spent on air freshener!

You'll thank me later, I'm telling you, you'll thank me later.

Come on, let's go.

Hold on!

What is it?

Weren't we supposed to buy cannolis for Mr. Giacalone?

We were, yes!

Ah... then we have no other choice.

-How's that? -We'll buy some cannolis in Milan.

-No! -I know.

Come on, let's go. I'll hand you the suitcases.

Wait. Slow down.

Hurry!

-Sir, hello! -Good morning!

Yes, "punctuality is key." Isn't that right?

Yeah.

Hey! Welcome back, guys.

-Ah, doctor! -Hello.

Are... Are those for us?

No, no. They're for Mr. Giacalone.

-How was your trip? -It was quite an adventure.

We'd rather not talk about it.

Yeah, but the sea air was nice, right?

-How lucky you guys are! -Lucky?

The sea air is nice, but come on, we are much luckier up here!

We have beautiful fields and so much foggy air, whereas down there...

-It's hot! -Guys! Hey, guys.

Listen, Mr. Giacalone...

-Yeah? -He won't...

-No! -No.

Dad, please.

I promise once you get the treatment, we'll return to Sicily.

This is worse than I expected it to be.

-Emergency protocol. -What? Really?

-It's time to take the instruments out. -Are you sure, Salvo?

Mm-hm.

Salvo, I'll never be able to thank you enough.

Now I can go back to Sicily knowing my dad is in good hands.

One thing is for sure!

The real good cannolis are only found in Sicily!

OLD BRAMBILLA PASTRY SHOP MILAN SINCE 2024

SICILY EXPRESS