Original subtitles

The money! I want the money! Take it out! Put it on the counter! Count! Count! Quick!

Hurry up! Count! Count it! Hurry up! How much?

Six hundred, twenty-two dollars.

Lili, five hundred. Put it in here.

Five hundred, right.

Here, here!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Hey, that's nice.

What's happening?

Get the robbery moving along.

LOL, LOL, what does that mean?

It means you're lollygagging.

Now move along.

I hope you nail those punks.

They had these masks, you know. I couldn't see their faces at all. Spanish-speaking.

Definitely. Yes. I didn't understand half of what they said, though I think one of

them mentioned something about a piano. Piano? Yeah. Did they take anything

anything besides the money?

Bread.

Bread. Bread. Took loaves of bread, right? Lots of 'em.

Yeah.

Was there a getaway car?

Do you mind?

Did you see a getaway car?

I didn't see one.

Why are you so interested in thieves' robberies?

Seems to me they'd be small potatoes to such a big-time crime reporter.

- Like you.

- A crime is a crime is a crime.

Although I never heard of a gang of thieves

that only took part of the money, did you?

You figured out what law means yet?

- We're working on it.

- And I'm sure, given time, you probably will find out.

Meanwhile, the robberies keep happening once a week,

like clockwork.

- Barley, there's no story here.

- I don't know, Griff, a gang that seems to budget

what they need before they strike,

and the only other thing they take is bread.

That's what we call human interest.

- Oh, Sergeant, they did take something else.

One of the robbers took one of these.

The only thing is, he paid for it.

- I know what LOL stands for, the Lollipop Gang.

a good angle for my story you got a quick cook and all I mean it now somebody's

gonna see right through you I didn't do anything what did he do all right there's

something in Spanish to the clerk about how well his wife plays the piano what

piano what why I didn't mean anything by it I'm just enjoying learning a new

I got to practice, don't I?

That place doesn't even understand Spanish.

Here, put this away.

Oh, not very please.

You know how I hate those.

Now put it away.

Come on up, Barley.

What's up? What's the rush?

I hope you've been on some very important assignment.

You kept me waiting.

Mini market robberies.

Mini market robberies.

Someone's been knocking over a bunch of mini markets.

I'm sure. Here, have a look at this.

Pretty exciting stuff.

Wait!

Account holder deceased?

I've had a flood of calls all morning friends, associates, acquaintances all

wanting to know where to send the files. It seems that every government computer

network, national, state, local has me listed as being dead. Deceased. Part of

the tragedy happened. I traced the problem to the Social Security

Administration. That's where it started. For some reason they stopped sending me

my checks. When I finally looked into it, I found they closed my file and marked me...

- Ted, a man of your connections. Surely you must have pulled some strings?

- Not only pulled, I ain't. The people of the Social Security Administration say there's

a glitch in their computer system. I asked them to correct it. The idiot I was talking

to said he would. If only you could find someone who could understand their system.

Uh-huh. And you think that I might just possibly know someone who might understand her system?

Is that it?

How did you first hit it back?

I'm trying!

Never mind. Here, work on your serve like I showed you.

Okay.

Carson figures his troubles started when they stopped sending him his social security checks.

As if he needs them.

And he works for a non-profit organization that's privately funded.

On top of which, he looks like he has a little money of his own.

He worked for his benefits. He deserves them as much as anybody else.

Well, I don't know what I can do.

I mean, the Social Security Computer System is one of the biggest in the world.

There are millions of names, records of people still working, collection logs, disbursement logs.

Alice, would you hit the ball?

Whoa!

Try again, Martina.

Hey, look, all Mars needs is for you to get in,

find a glitch that causes premature demise,

and fix it if you can, and get out.

Well, I need a password.

I got a password.

That's the one thing he was able to find out.

Don't hit it!

Don't hit it! Don't hit it!

Hey!

Sam, uh, you get, uh, two balonis and $25.

Doris?

Oh, you're with Leon now.

That one, uh, you get four balonis and $50.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Tell me something I already know.

The password I gave Farley obviously did get you into the system.

So what?

Just watch.

See? According to the recipient roster, your file's been closed, but the checkers just show the check was still issued for you in January.

Also, you're listed in both the master file current and master file non-current. So, you're both deceased and non-deceased.

You're in limbo.

What a messed up computer.

Well, whoever you are, I'm tired of you hot rotting through my system.

I think it's time to cut Q off.

What happened?

We've been cut off.

Let's get back in.

I'm going to give you the name and address of the director of the Southern California

a division of the Social Security Administration I think maybe it's time for

a personal visit you mean you want us to go why don't you go I've already talked

to the man on the phone not a present experience said his computer doesn't make

mistakes I said of course not he will run computers make mistakes he didn't like

that his name is Elwood colors what can we find out that you can oh probably

I think the way to approach a man like Sellers is to be a little as visible as I'd be.

Hi, may I help you?

Yes, would you please notify Mr. Sellers that the computer engineering group from the GSA is here?

Well, was Mr. Sellers expecting you?

Oh, I hope not.

I hope not.

We do spot checks of all government computer systems.

And they will report back to the GSA on their efficiency and management.

Yeah, right.

Well, Mr. Sellers is tied up at the moment,

and he's given me specific instructions that he doesn't want to be disturbed, so I--

That's quite all right.

His presence is requested, but not mandatory.

We'll conduct our inspection without him.

Where is your computer room?

Well, it's right down the hall, but I don't--

Thank you.

Excuse me.

- Hello? - I can't write.

Oh, don't mind us. We're only here to observe.

This place is almost prehistoric. They have this old obsolete equipment jury rigged to a substandard mainframe.

A complete overhaul, maybe, in order. Precisely.

Who are you people?

We're a crack inspection team from the GSA, assigned to inspect existing government computer systems.

You're a little young, aren't you?

We're young, we're almost half their prime.

The real computer geniuses of our age are 12, 13 years old.

And how old are you, mister?

Sellers, never mind how old I am.

Who from the GSA sent you?

Bill Markham.

Oh, well then you won't mind if I call Mr. Markham

to make sure you're legit, will you?

I'm in a hurry. I'm putting a trapdoor in the system so I can get back in the car.

And you know nothing about four bookworm types wearing glasses.

Yeah, that's what I thought. Thank you very much, sir.

- I think I've got the rest of them.

- I win.

- I thought you had one.

- Did you find anything yet?

- That's what I can find.

Marston's on Berkeley Street,

but there aren't any Berkeleys in here.

No Berkeley Street, no Berkeley Boulevard,

no Berkeley Place, Berkeley Avenue, nothing.

Those are all streets here in the city,

but according to the Social Security

Administration computer, they don't exist.

I can sympathize with you, ma'am.

Listen, why don't you try to find a market

that delivers groceries to your door?

Well, then how do you know that they don't do that anymore?

Ma'am, no, it's only a suggestion.

No, ma'am, I haven't been living on the moon for the last 20 years.

Yes, yes. Excuse me, excuse me. Listen, I've got to go now.

Yes. Goodbye.

Keeping the customers satisfied?

Probably it's been a long day and I'm just about off duty.

I think I've come up with something on the lollipop gang.

In all the robberies so far, no one has reported seeing a getaway car, have they?

and they only take part of the money,

which means either they still have some morals left

or they're very frugal.

Let's say they're frugal.

So frugal they don't even own a car.

- Okay, they're frugal.

- Okay, I circled each minimart that's been robbed so far

and every single one of them is on a street

covered by a city bus route.

The only minimart on a street covered by a city bus route

in this area that hasn't been hit so far

is this baby right here.

Well, this gang, rip off the market,

rush it out the door,

and sit on a bench waiting for a bus.

Yeah, once they take the masks off, they could be anybody.

So waiting for a bus is good cover.

Well, I got a great idea.

Why don't you use to take out that market?

He's got plenty of time, he just might do that, you know.

- Demani, take it out.

Charge it, hurry up, hurry up.

Five hundred, in here!

Go! Go!

All right, all right, come on, come on, come on!

Hurry up!

Come on, hurry!

Hasta luego.

Hasta mañana, amigo.

We'll see him tomorrow.

Come on, come on!

Are you all right, darling?

Are you OK?

I wonder you never mugged a little old lady. You are a little old lady.

That's what the LOL stand for, right?

Mister, we don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah, who are you anyway? A cop?

No, but the cops are going to be here any minute.

What, do you want a cut?

No, no, I'm sorry. Why are you doing this?

I think you've got a present for him.

You don't think we enjoy doing this, do you?

I sort of enjoyed it.

I wouldn't.

There are a lot of people who depend on us for this.

A lot of people would probably die if we didn't do this.

What people?

Until six months ago, we were paying our bills, buying our food, and maybe even saving a penny

or two from our Social Security checks.

And then the checks just stopped coming for no reason at all.

Most of us found our accounts were closed.

They even claimed I was dead.

Oh, heck, Sid, you are dead.

Oh, come on, Doris.

We just ran out of money.

Let me guess here.

You wrote a couple of letters, maybe you went down there yourself?

Yeah, right down to the main office, and they said that the computer showed that our accounts were closed.

It didn't matter that we were there, right there, standing there in person.

Yeah, there was a real nice lady down there that tried to help us, and when we went back the next day, she had been transferred.

Oh, see, our landlord isn't a bad guy, but he's got to have his rent right away.

Otherwise, he'll have to tell us to get out.

I'd hate to see Dolly thrown into the streets.

Most of us don't have any relatives, at least relatives that care.

This is our home.

Well, Farley, what are you going to do about it?

You going to turn this all in?

Maybe I'm going to have to tell you something.

- Hello? - Adler. Carlton March.

- The name's Richie. - Hmm.

I suppose you deserve some respect after what you've done.

- Richie. - What did I do?

What did you do? I'm alive again on every government computer network.

I'm accessing the Library of Congress through my reissued account at this very moment.

- That's very nice, but... - I'm also non-deceased.

The Social Security Administration.

Miss Wilton called and said they'd be issuing my January check within a week.

He also apologized for any inconvenience. That's great, but I

But I beg your pardon Richie. I'm in the middle of things. Whatever you did to get me online. I thank you. Goodbye

No, no, sir. I didn't

I didn't do anything

I don't have time to listen to you now, Farley.

I never have time to listen to you.

But you always do, don't you?

See that man over there?

I was gonna nail that sucker for six months now.

I told you what he did to make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.

That'd be a threat.

I got a lot of it, you know.

I got a bank robbery in progress.

A narcotics bust.

Two officers wounded in the line of duty trying to contain a marital spat.

And what is it you're dying to tell me I know it was a lollipop gang

Good that's great. I've been so worried

Who in the hell is the lollipop gang?

Gun was never loaded not once never even bought bullets for it

And no one's life was ever endangered by screaming away in a getaway car

They always took the bus.

Farley, what do you want me to do? They're still criminals.

They are and they aren't.

It's like a Damon Runyon story or a Robin Hood.

If they hadn't done something, all those people, depending on them, would have starved or been thrown on the street.

Look, I still don't understand what you're asking us to do. Now, we're very happy you helped us crack the case.

Give me 24 hours before you bring them in.

They're not going anywhere and

They promised me they wouldn't commit any more robberies

They promised you

You need 24 hours to get him a lawyer no, no, I want to try to talk to the Social Security administration

Believe me. This is happening to more people than you think and I want to talk to the minimart owners

Try to talk him into not pressing charges. I think an arrangement could be made

Quinn I'm trying to prevent these people from getting thrown into jail

Now if a judge decides that they should serve time and so be it but until then

Come on you say sergeant Griffin is the officer assigned to the case. What do you say sergeant?

I said bust him

You two around back. Hey, it's a little overkill grip crime is a crime is a crime. Come on

Sally?

Here we are, these are forms 657, 4359, GH00, these are claims of non-payment.

What you want to do is have your friends fill these out and then return them to this office

Okay, I get my friends to fill these out. Mm-hmm, and then you find the air. Mm-hmm

Then how long does it take to rectify it? Oh, I don't know anywhere from 2 to 12 weeks

This is a bureaucracy mr. Farley Farley and

Yeah, my hands are tied

What can I do?

I'm in.

- Hey, guys. - How are you doing, Farley?

- What's going on with Marsh? - The reports to his death were greatly exaggerated.

But everything's back to normal. He's no longer diseased.

- What's due? - Me? Nothing.

Somebody must have checked up on him and found out he was still alive.

They were to check

Something wrong. Well, unfortunately doesn't end here

I'm working on a story about a bunch of senior citizens who have been holding on mini markets

sounds like a hot one Farley they turn to their life of crime because

Someone cut off their Social Security checks. I

Was wondering if there's anything that we can do

We need the names

Let's go ahead and get started

Well, when we raise the rent, oh we're not raising rent we're trying to raise bail money to get our friends out of jail

We're gonna get him out

Oh, that's darling

He said we could sell it

Jane though. He's had that thing as long as I can remember

Beautiful

Look your friends have got over 20 counts of armed robbery against them

Luckily, no one ever got injured any of those robberies, but still it's a serious charge

My friends may have found something that will help them with their case, but we gotta have everybody's move

Sorry good

Just like all the others every single person in the retirement home had their files closed in September

According to the check register, she's still getting paid.

Yeah, but where are all her checks going?

It's just a foul up.

The computer wiped out all the Berkeleys.

Marsh lives on Berkeley Street, and these folks live on Berkeley Place.

That's the glitch.

Yeah, but Marsh has been paid up through December, and all these other people were cut off in

September.

If it was a glitch, like you say, why wouldn't they all be cut off at the same time?

- Hi, Cheryl.

- Hi, Mr. Farley.

- Is, uh, is your mom home, and Richie?

- Uh, sure.

I'll go get him.

- Great.

- Mommy, Mr. Farley's here with three other people.

Uh-huh.

Richie!

Hi, Irene.

Hi, Lou.

These are three people that I would like you to meet.

This is Dolly.

Hello.

And, uh, Sid.

Hi.

And, uh, Teddy.

Hi.

Hi.

It's Irene.

- Um, do you mind if we come in?

- Oh, uh, no!

Come on in.

- Nice place you have here.

- Thank you.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- Hey.

- My goodness, that's a big bed I'm sitting in.

Uh, Lou, uh, who are these people?

All right, the lollipop gang. When did you get out of jail?

Yeah, uh, somebody put up their bail.

Mr. Farley paid the bail.

Mr. Farley was the one that got us arrested, so it kind of ended up.

Will you excuse us for just one minute, okay?

I don't know if I'm getting this exactly correctly, but are you telling me that these people are criminals?

God, Irene, let me talk to you for one minute, okay?

All right?

Well, I just didn't know what else to do with them.

I don't have a room, and their landlord threw them out after he heard about their escapades.

Well, they look harmless enough.

It's just for tonight. Tomorrow morning I'll go out and I'll help them find a place.

I really appreciate it.

Okay. I'll make up the guest room for the guys and the dollies can sleep on the couch.

Oh, yeah, sure. Thanks, Irene. They are good people, deep down.

And it'll be a good experience for the kids.

Oh, sure.

I accessed the news front of this when I came up with it.

Okay, I'll buy it. What does GBC-TV-643-782 mean?

I don't know. I've looked for it everywhere.

Tried to access it in the file. Tried to cross-reference it.

It doesn't appear anywhere but here.

All the people from the retirement hotel are listed here, though.

And they all have that number listed after them.

Maybe Carson can help us on this one.

Hello?

Yes, Carson?

Huh. That's very strange. Who's count is it? Why couldn't you find out, Horton?

Yes, I realize that you're very busy. Thank you, Carson. Bye.

account number. The GBCTB stands for Grand Bahamas Commercial Trust Bank.

Grand Bahamas? You mean the Social Security Administration uses a bank

account in the Bahama Islands to store its unclaimed funds? Maybe not the Social

Security Administration, maybe someone who works for the Social Security

Administration. That'd be awfully hard to find out, especially with sellers

standing guard. Oh, you guys know sellers? We had a little run-in with them at

Marsh's request. I don't think he'd be too happy to see us again. Yeah, I think I'm gonna call

myself you not exactly what we call cooperative. I wonder if there's a way to get him out of his

office. There might be a way. All we have to do is declare Mr. Seller's death.

Excuse me sir, your wife is on the phone and she said that she tried to use her charge

at Gibbon and they told her that the account's been closed.

And that is probably because she is over her limit again.

Tell her it's her own tough luck and trouble, Ed.

Yes, what? I'm sorry, Mr. Sellers, but a man from Brentwood Motors phoned and he said

that they've received a notice to repossess your car. Repossess my car? That's right.

That's impossible. Get my bank on the phone. Yes, right away, sir. Right away.

We can get into a lot of trouble for this.

I'm transferring everything into Rafa's storage.

We'll put it back the way it was later.

Meanwhile, Sellers learns what it's like to be a non-person.

Now, you listen here, I have had an account in that bank for over ten years.

What do you mean, I am nowhere in your computer?

Look, never mind, you just stay right there because I'm coming right over.

Mr. Sellers, I tried to get your paycheck for you, but...

Well, there's some little problem.

The, uh, payroll computer...

Yes, yes, yes!

Yes, you're dead!

Isn't that funny?

Funny?

- What? - Stop!

- Okay, you all set?

- Yeah.

- All right, listen, I'm gonna go call Quinn,

and then I'll keep a look out for the cellars, all right?

We'll get 'em, let's go for it.

Listen, I'm telling you I've had it right up to here, and that's that.

I want my money right now or else.

We're tired of being treated like second-class citizens!

We work for them, we deserve them, and we want our tics.

We want our tics.

Oh, yes, I know.

And I'm sorry, if you'll just fill out these forms.

And what do we want with forms?

We want our tics!

We want our tics!

We want our tics!

You can't come down there. You've got to come here.

You can't come down there. You've got to come here.

I can't come down there. You gotta come here.

About a couple hours might be too late.

Quinn?

Quinn?

Yeah, Carson Marsh, please. It's, uh, food, Barleycorn.

These are so as private codes, but I still can't find anything

I can't find anything about the grandmama's central clasp bag anywhere in the system.

Maybe it's not Sellers. Maybe somebody else around here can stand to lean the fun.

If it's not Sellers, we're in trouble.

If there's none, that's why we're in big trouble.

Wait a minute.

I agree with Teddy. I'm tired of sitting around.

It's hard to stand around, and I'm tired of being pushed around.

I want action!

Now!

We want action!

We want action!

Do you look at all that interest?

I don't know what you're doing.

Hey!

I see you made it after all.

I don't know who you know in high places, probably, but my captain sent me down here.

He said it was top priority.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yes, I am.

Oh, good. You already called the police. Are you the officer in charge?

in charge yes I am you people want to get out of the way please clear this

area okay yes go out go out in the lobby wait all right look I want you to

arrest these young hoodlums hi Richie Jeremy and Alice

thank you you know these four

Oh, I get it. Look, I don't know what these kids have told you about me. I, um, look, I wasn't really stealing the money. I was just borrowing it for a little while. I always put it back eventually.

He was withholding these people's checks and transferring the funds to a Bahama Island savings account.

Yeah, maybe he isn't really stealing the money, but he sure was pocketing the interest.

That sure sounds like stealing to me.

It's not stealing. It's not.

You're all going to get your money back on a sort of a deferred payment plan.

In fact, the administration even allows for a certain amount of interest.

I think Mr. Silla's in the precinct house. I read him his rights and get his statement.

I didn't mean anything really. I have no idea what a horrible life. I didn't mean anything by it

Don't mark them from the GSA. I got a call from one of my higher-ups and he told me to hurry over here

Lady did I wouldn't miss this for the world?

world. Next time you have another sting operation like this and you want to use my name, let

me in on it from the beginning. I can keep a secret.

You know, I have a feeling this will all prove very interesting to me if I had any idea what

What was going on?

Attention! Attention everybody!

Oh come on, just a minute, be quiet.

I don't think the Mini Mart owners would have got the charges

if it hadn't been for the man next to me.

Not you, Mr. Burns.

I mean, that wonderful guy, Mr. Farrows.

I have to say that the fact that you paid back all of the money you had, had a little bit to do with it.

Well, luckily, we had enough money left that the extra interest the Social Security people gave us

to pay Mr. Burns all his rent.

And to give a wonderful party for these wonderful kids and everybody in our home, thank you, Mr. Burns!

Alright, alright, alright!

And if you don't eat bologna sandwiches, I was getting tired of all that bologna!

I want to thank Mr. Polly's great friends, these wonderful kids.

Alright, alright, alright!

Alright, Dolly, Dolly, what do you think, uh, now that your life of crime is over?

You ruined it. You made me famous.

Hey, look here for the lollipop gang.