Original subtitles

Phoenix, New Orleans.

Claire, I just heard from that used book dealer.

You know, that grubby fellow Malcolm, the one from Boston?

Oh, really?

What did he want?

He says he has it.

Oh, really, Gerald?

Are you going to believe that old fraud?

How many times has he disappointed you?

I know, I know. But this time I think he's really on to something. He gave me

the description over the phone, and it could be nothing but.

Imagine, after all the years you've been looking.

You know, it's just too much to hope for.

Well, in any case, I must go to Boston.

I'd be a fool not to.

What are you two talking about?

Oh, nothing, dear. Just a book. A book your stepfather's been looking for.

For my witchcraft course up at the college.

Speaking of witchcraft, did you know in many societies twin girls are done away

with? They believe that twin girls are the work of the devil. By the way, which

one of your mother's twins are you?

I'm prudent, stepfather, dear.

And which of my mother's lovers are you?

Prudence, please.

Now, now, Claire, I'm sure she was only joking. I was joking, too, Prue. You and

your sister are as different as night and day.

I always know which is which.

Well, it took you long enough to learn.

You could learn a few things from your sister, too.

You could have a damn bit more sense of humor. You're the most straight -laced

girl I've ever met.

You would like for me to be a little bit looser, wouldn't you, stepfather dear?

Well, hold your breath.

And as for my darling sister, Hope, she could learn something from me, too. Not

to be such a slut.

Prudence, that's enough.

I just don't know what's the matter with you today.

It isn't like you. By the way, where is Hope? She's not usually this late

without calling first, is she, Clara?

No, I can't imagine.

She's... I don't know where she is.

How odd.

Twins always seem to know where the other one is.

Are you sure?

Why, what's the matter, dear?

Nothing. Nothing's wrong.

I have lots to do. I've got to go to my room now. Nothing.

Now, what's the matter with her?

I haven't any idea, but she must really be upset she hasn't even touched her

food. Damn neurotic college girls.

Oh, well.

I have to be catching a shuttle flight to Boston that leaves in an hour, and I

almost forgot. You do remember my colleague, Robert Petrie, don't you?

Oh, yes, I think I remember Professor Petrie. I didn't have a chance to cancel

him out. He'll be coming over this evening.

We were going to work translating some fragments from it, but now that I have a

chance to get the whole book, I... I'm sure he'll understand.

Don't mention to him or mention to anybody where I'm going until we know

sure, okay?

Okay, bye -bye, Claire.

Oh, and do be nice to Petrie before you send him home.

Good luck with the book, Harold.

And I'll try to make sure Professor Petrie isn't too disappointed.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Oh, yes.

It was that. Now.

Yes, now.

Oh, God, I'm going to come in this. Oh, God, yes.

You slut.

Oh, really?

And what do you call lying there finger -fucking yourself, little sister? You

whore! What did you expect me to do?

Frankly, I couldn't care less. Just stay out of my life.

You know it's not that easy when you do the things that you do.

I can't help myself. You know that's the way that I've been.

Is it really so terrible? It's wrong. You know it's wrong.

What would Mom say?

What would she do?

What would she do? She'd probably want to join in.

Stop it. Shut up. You shut up, you goddamn hypocrite. No, I won't shut up.

You've got to face what you're doing, and it's wrong.

And I suppose what you and Jason do is right?

Jason's not some big ape I picked up for a couple hours.

Oh, really? How long have you known Jason? Maybe about a month?

Well, let me tell you something, dear sister. When that big slob shot his load

off in my mouth just now, well, it tasted just the same as when you sucked

sweet Jason yesterday. Just the same.

Jay, it's not the same. Why?

Just because you won't fuck him?

Because you won't let him in your precious little pussy?

Well, you are a whore. You're a hypocritical whore. Because you'll do

but fuck.

I'll show you.

Damn it, eat me.

Eat me, I'll show you.

Taste that trucker's cum.

Taste it, you bitch.

Such a shame he couldn't contact you, Professor Petrie, but I do hope you can

find the study materials you need right here on Gerald's desk.

Oh, what wonderful luck. Gerald going off like that.

Are you sure he's gone?

Absolutely. I couldn't be more sure.

What's he doing up in Boston anyway?

I promised. I told you he was calling off unexpectedly on business.

Oh, yeah, right, right.

Now, what's he doing up there?

I promise not to tell.

But you will tell me, won't you?

No. Yes, you will. No.

Never.

Never.

Where is Jerome?

You are a swine.

It's still a valid question.

One likes to be sure that the lady's husband will not walk in while one is

fucking her.

Now, where is he?

Oh, all right. It's about the book.

The book?

Yes, the book.

The Necronomicon.

You know that grungy Malcolm creature, the one from Boston?

Well, he called Gerald and said he'd actually found a copy of the book.

So naturally, Gerald went flying off to Boston to have a look. Do you blame him?

We've been working on the few fragments that we have for years.

Do you know what it means to have a whole copy of that book?

Why, it's the most fantastic collection of... The greatest book on magic ever

written. I know, Robert. Gerald's been talking about nothing else for years.

Yes, but the Necronomicon isn't about magic, darling.

It is magic.

Every single first -hand report on that book indicates that the spells it

teaches really work.

Why, with a whole copy of that book, a man could... Why, it's staggering.

Robert. Yeah?

In the meantime, could you possibly find something to do with a very hungry

woman on a couch?

Yes, of course.

Say, Claire.

Now what?

Don't you think we ought to start finding some other places to meet?

I mean, somebody could walk in on us any time.

This is where I love it, Robert.

Right here.

In his home.

If you want me, you'll find me here.

Do you want me?

He does.

I can tell just from looking at him.

Maybe you should have locked it. If you didn't want company, that is.

But like they say, it's too late now.

You know, I used to really believe that so proper front you put on.

So respectable.

But you know what, Mother?

I know better now.

What are you doing?

Why, I'm going to fuck your lover, and you're going to watch.

Come here. Come here, God damn it.

Thank you.

Edith wants to be an Edith.

Oh God.

God, yes.

Oh, God.

Oh,

pardon me.

Oh, God.

you tell me?

Would you have believed me?

No, I guess not.

I know not.

It'd just be more hoax craziness.

What you made them do was exactly normal.

Hope, don't you see?

You drag things down.

You make things worse.

What they did, it was wrong. It was terrible.

But what you made them get into?

You fucked up little bitch.

When are you going to learn? Are you still in the morality kick?

What's it going to take, a truck rolling over you?

You mean a truck driver.

So funny. I meant just what I said.

When are you going to learn people don't live by those pretty rules you learned?

Nobody does, and you can't make them.

Oh, really?

Well, maybe I can't make them, but I can sure try.

What's that supposed to mean?

I meant just what I said. I can stop what Mom's doing.

Believe me, and I'm going to. How?

Think about it.

You wouldn't tell Gerald.

Why? Gary, why shouldn't I tell them?

Why shouldn't you tell them? Why would you possibly want to ruin three people's

lives? Especially when one of them is your own... What are you laughing about?

You know what, Prudence? You've come along a lot further than I realized.

What the hell are you laughing about?

You know what, Prudence?

You know what I just remembered?

I just thought about it.

It wasn't...

Your boyfriend's face that you were thinking about yesterday while he was

you. It was Gerald's face. Shut up.

It was Gerald's face. I said shut up.

While he was eating you. You want to fuck your stepfather.

No, no I don't.

Bullshit, Prudence. If you want to fuck him, that's fine. That's fine with me

because I think I'd rather enjoy that.

But so help me. If you pull Mom and Robert's covers, I'm going to fuck you

I'm going to fuck you up and good.

That was the Lister's lunch, Mother, but I really have to go now.

Where are you going, Prudence?

Oh, just down.

Out where?

Out to the college. I have some studying to do. Do you mind?

No, I don't mind at all.

Well, as long as you're going to be at the college, try to get a ride home with

your stepfather.

He's there, too, you know.

Don't worry.

He knows.

Hello, Jason?

Oh, thank God you're there.

Oh, Jason, please don't ask. Just come over here now.

Please say if you could come over here now.

Oh, thank you, Jason. Thank you.

Okay, Prue, what's the matter?

Jason, I need you to trust me. I just need you to do exactly what I say.

You name it, within reason.

Jason, I want you to do me the way you did yesterday. I mean, with your tongue.

I want you to do me now. Sure, baby.

But there's just one thing, Jason. I do want you to do me, but, and just please

trust me, just don't say a word, okay? Don't make a sound.

I've heard of kinkier things.

Well, it has to be like if somebody was listening, they wouldn't know who I was

with. I'll be quiet as a mouse.

A horny mouse.

Then do me.

Come in.

Hello, Gerald.

Prudence, a nice surprise.

You caught me just in time. I was just clearing up on some work.

Gerald, do you have a minute to spare?

Well, I really wanted to finish up and get home. I have a great deal to do

today. A mysterious book. You've got it?

Yes, I've got it.

Prudence, I know I don't have any control over you, but it's vitally

that we not talk about this on the outside.

Please.

This mysterious book of yours from Boston.

What's the name of it?

It's called the Necronomicon.

It's not from Boston, Prue.

Nobody really knows where it's from.

Its translation was written in Sanskrit by a man named Abdul Alhazrad about 400

years ago.

How interesting.

But, Cheryl, I need to talk to you now.

Well, of course, if it's really important.

You know how much I've always cared for you.

Like my own daughter.

It's just that you've always been so standoffish.

Oh, my sister Hope.

What's the matter?

But who's she with?

What's the matter?

Who's Hope with?

What's the matter?

you

No! No! Not my cat!

Bye.

Jesus!

Jason, I have a terrible confession I have to make.

What could that be, Hope darling?

You knew.

You knew it was me.

After about two minutes. But how?

Oh, let's just say glaring stylistic differences.

You fucking bastard.

That is correct.

So you're not the Mr. Clean Prue makes you out to be. Now that's interesting.

Your sister's very nice.

That describes her perfectly, very nice.

Hope. What?

I figure the reason why I'm here isn't because you lusted madly after my

beautiful body, so you want to tell me what this is all about?

You know, I do want to tell you.

I can't believe that Prudence actually found someone that isn't a total creep.

Gee, Hope, thanks a lot.

Oh, stop. Now listen.

Gerald, I want to ask you something.

Go ahead.

Gerald, what would you do if you found out your wife was having an affair?

Nothing if she was discreet about it.

Nothing? You mean you wouldn't care?

That's about it.

You don't care?

I can't believe it.

It's like nobody cares.

You don't even care if your own wife acts like a tramp?

Oh, really, Prue? Can you be so self -righteous after what we just did?

Well, I wouldn't have done it if I didn't know what I know.

But besides, I'm still a virgin.

Still a virgin?

Oh, what a cute idea.

Stop it. It is important.

Sure it is to a Sicilian farmer.

Say, do you mean... What?

Do you mean you never... Ah, I had to be polite.

Never had intercourse with another man?

No, never.

That's funny. That is really funny.

Can't believe it. To the Virgin Harlot, all hail!

Stop it!

Stop it! I hate you! I hate all of you!

So that's about it. I guess they're really, you know, afraid they're going

miss out on the book.

They just, you know, I'm surprised they really went along with it.

You're too much.

What did you say the name of the book is?

Uh, The Necronomicon?

What? The Necronomicon?

And he has a whole copy of it?

So what?

Your stepfather is Gerald Wakefield, and you're Robert Petrie's lover, and you

don't know about that book?

What about the book?

Well, I took the course that your stepfather and Petrie give up the

I knew about that book long before taking that course.

It's the only known book of real magic.

Oh, come on.

No, no, look, I'm a skeptic too, but this is an edition that goes back

of years, and all the stories about the book are the same.

The Necronomicon really works.

Really works for what?

That's not so clear.

But there's supposed to be spell center for all kinds of things.

Like summoning up the devil?

The Necronomicon is a whole lot older than our concept of the devil.

But if you mean conjuring demonic forces and using these forces for your own

purposes, yeah, sure. The book shows you how to do that.

Jason, you don't really believe that crap, do you?

Put it this way. If I hadn't studied it so much, I wouldn't believe it.

But I've learned just enough to know it's for real.

Oh, Jason.

How would you like me to steal that book?

There's only one slight problem.

You don't by any chance happen to speak fluent Sanskrit?

Not lately.

Yeah, me neither. And that's what the book's written in.

I couldn't do a damn thing with it.

At least not alone.

Okay.

Then plan two. How would you like me to make sure that whatever they do with the

book involves us?

Oh, if you could do such a thing, I'd be eternally grateful.

If you could do such a thing.

All hail Tultufu.

Hello, stepfather.

Hope. I'm very busy right now. It is Hope.

You weren't too busy for me in your office this morning.

Prudence?

That's Bob Petrie. He's come to help me with this. Wait just a minute. I'll get

it for you.

Why, Professor Petrie, how nice to see you again.

Uh, Hope?

You mean you still don't know the difference after yesterday?

That is insulting.

Hello, Hope.

He's still working on the book.

It seems to be everything that it's supposed to be. Good, good.

Oh, and Robert, you're going to do exactly what I want you to, exactly.

Or you'll lose everything.

And just what is it that you want, madam?

You'll know when the time comes.

Well, let's go see the book.

Behold, Petri, here it is.

After all these years, the Necronomicon.

The Necronomicon? What does it mean?

It means secrets of the dead.

So tell me, Gerald, have you made any headway in this?

Well, some.

I started to translate the part we were talking about, but I do think we're in

for some serious problems.

Really? What?

This letter feels so strange.

What's it made of?

Probably human flesh.

Oh, how scary. What a horrible book.

Then why don't you just stay away from it?

Why don't you give me what I want first?

I really think there's only one way we're going to get peace here.

I quite agree.

What do you mean?

I think you know what we mean, Hope.

Petri, sorry to disappoint you.

Understandable mistake, but this is Prudence.

No, I'm not Prudence, Gerald.

Why, you little brat.

You... Gerald, please don't be mad at me.

After all, I do suck cock so much better than Prudence.

Imagine, Gerald, a spell for eternal life.

But this book has a strange effect on people.

I mean, look what it's done to us already.

Oh, nonsense.

Do you always go around fucking your friends' daughters?

Yeah,

I see what you mean.

Don't worry, it's affecting us all.

I'm not in the habit of seducing my own stepdaughters either.

And don't feel bad about sleeping with my wife.

You know about that too, huh?

Hey, look, Gerald.

Enough, Petrie, really.

A lot stranger things are going to be happening here.

Let's see here.

What does this mean?

Two sets of triplets.

That's six of us to do it.

Well,

there's you and me and her.

That's three.

My wife, of course.

All right, that's four.

Now all we need is another male and another female.

supply the mail.

Really? Who?

Jason, my sister's ex -boyfriend.

Yeah, but are you sure you can get him to do it?

Trust me, he wouldn't miss this for the world.

Now we just need one more female to go.

It says here that the third female has to be a virgin

harlot. Now what the hell is a virgin harlot?

Oh, that was explained elsewhere in the book. It's a woman that acts like an

absolute slut.

But medically and physically, she's still a virgin.

Oh, shit.

In this day and age, that's a pretty tall order.

Wait, don't you see? She didn't feel it. She didn't feel it this time.

What are you talking about?

Prudence. Don't you understand?

She always feels it.

And when I came just a little while ago, she didn't feel it. I know it. I can

always tell.

I don't know quite what you're talking about, but perhaps this book is very

powerful. Maybe this has something to do with it.

That's it. That's the answer.

Can you be ready to do the ceremony tonight?

Well, that would mean rushing the translation a bit.

But sure.

Good. Hey, wait a minute. Now what does all this mean?

It means I think I know how to get you your virgin harlot. Just leave it to me.

Guess what I did say.

You goddamn whore.

You can have him.

Have who?

You know damn well who I mean.

Jason, I never want to see him again.

Hope, I just can't take it. I can't take it. It thinks you do.

How would you like it if you didn't know what I was doing?

Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't you like that?

Don't tease me. I can't... Please, just don't. I'm not teasing you. Do you know

what happened or what I did after Jason today?

Nothing dirty, I know. Nothing dirty? I only sucked off our stepfather while

Professor Petri fucked me in the ass.

You're lying.

No, I'm not lying.

I'm telling you the truth.

But how?

I don't know. I really don't. All I know is that we did it in front of that

book. The Necronomicon?

Yes, and afterwards I realized that you hadn't felt it.

And so I asked them if the book had anything to do with stopping the contact

between us. And they said it did.

And they said a lot more, too.

What else did they say?

They said that there was a ritual for separating twins.

That's crazy.

Crazy? What about this thing between us? That's crazy.

If you can believe that, you certainly can believe this.

If the book stopped the contact between us today, why not forever?

You sure she bought it?

hook, line, and sinker.

The only thing is, is she thinks it's rituals to break the bond between us.

Well, I don't quite understand what goes on between you two, but whatever it is,

I'm sure this ceremony will make up for it.

Immortality for real?

That's what the good book says, my dear. Eternal life, if Professor Petrie's

translation is exact.

What about that young man you mentioned?

That's the easy part.

Hello, Jason?

Uh -huh. Tonight at midnight.

And my stepfather's serving.

Bye -bye.

I invoke now the profane and darkest names Chitulthu, Nev,

Yaksothith, Kanamakalajarama.

Kanamakalajarama.

Kanama Kalajurama Kanama Kalajurama

Let the women prepare her, the virgin harlot.

Let the virgin serve the men.

What?

Something's wrong.

Well, look in the book.

Look, look, you idiot.

Where? What?

There, there.

The translation was wrong.

Well, how?

How? Look, you idiot. This ritual doesn't cause eternal life. It causes

potency. We're doomed, all doomed.

To an eternity of this?